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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast?

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Speaker 1: First fifteen minute morning show? All right, I feel like

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Speaker 1: we're we're in the plot a different room. Great team.

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Speaker 1: I got pizza top, like you know what's so bad?

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Speaker 1: Like like when you really gotta go pee? Like I

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Speaker 1: gotta go any little Yeah, like him? The fifteen minute

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Speaker 1: morning shows underwrite great tea question though, if you knew

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Speaker 1: you had to go to the bathroom, why would you

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Speaker 1: come in the studio first going to hold it as

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Speaker 1: a professional? I was gonna hold it's dripping. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm holding the other end. Why are you guys exploding

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Speaker 1: right now? What happened? Man? I do I do have

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Speaker 1: a topic for you. I think you really like Can

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Speaker 1: I just point out Nate's asked explodes more than anybody

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Speaker 1: else on the show. You know what? You haven't been

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Speaker 1: eating my yogurt, that's what? Yeah, thank Yank, That is

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Speaker 1: exactly right. Yeah. I know I usually eat yogurt every morning,

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Speaker 1: but at the last few days I haven't had my

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Speaker 1: yogurt Activia. No, it's skier that Icelandic skier and it's

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Speaker 1: just sur he would steal that endorsement. I know you

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Speaker 1: eat it, but it's n I liked the way you

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Speaker 1: went right for the old lady yogurt that Jamie Lee,

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Speaker 1: that's the only yogurt I would I know it. I

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Speaker 1: know it makes your poop, it regulates regularly, regularly diarrhea. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I just think that she's pooping. I didn't

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Speaker 1: know about probiotics. I didn't know bacteria. There's bacteria and

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Speaker 1: your gut that you need regular important take a hand.

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Speaker 1: So over the next thirteen minutes, either Nate's gonna gon go,

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Speaker 1: let me give you a topic. This is really good

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Speaker 1: for real. Then I made I'll run into the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: So one of our interns, as as Brodie's interns that

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Speaker 1: he hires, when they leave, they always give us a

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Speaker 1: little card. Maybe some go as far as to bake

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Speaker 1: us a dish of brownies or cookies or what have you.

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Speaker 1: So one of our interns is done, and if today's

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Speaker 1: her last day. So she made chocolate chip cookies and

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Speaker 1: as I was walking by, didn't know she had them

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Speaker 1: because she she had hid them, or maybe she gave

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Speaker 1: to individuals at different times of the day. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but anyway, she says, hey, t todays my last day,

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Speaker 1: and I just want to say thank you. It's really nice.

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Speaker 1: Here's a card, and here's cookies. And it hit me,

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I had this nostalgia come back.

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Speaker 1: And this is where my topic goes to. So when

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Speaker 1: I was when I was a when I was dating, right,

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Speaker 1: I dated this one girl and it was a brief

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Speaker 1: period time that even Danielle and Scary got a chance

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Speaker 1: to meet her because it was so early on in

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Speaker 1: our careers. Here her name is Ria, remembers so so

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Speaker 1: Ria like she absolutely stole my heart. And I remember

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Speaker 1: just looking just casual conversation. I said to her, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you know how how somebody can really

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Speaker 1: win my heart over? You make me chocolate chip cookies.

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Speaker 1: I love those cookies. But I never even gave it

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Speaker 1: a thought because of the way. It wasn't a conversation

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Speaker 1: that she would ever go through with it. So all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, there was a knock on my door

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Speaker 1: the Thursday evening. I'll never forget it, and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, I I go to the door and the

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Speaker 1: porch light is on and she's standing before me with

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Speaker 1: a little tray that she had saran wrapped in everything

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Speaker 1: and inside were these chocols of cookies, and I'm saying

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Speaker 1: to myself, oh my god, she totally has won me over,

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Speaker 1: Like I love this girl, right, I go completely in

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Speaker 1: love with her. Well, no, there is wait needless to say,

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Speaker 1: needless to say. It didn't work out. She now owns

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Speaker 1: she now owns retro fitness. She's a multimillionaire, doing very

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Speaker 1: well for herself. So the topic is, so the topic is, no,

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Speaker 1: let him keep on telling the story. A good storyteller

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Speaker 1: of the porch Light was on the topic. Listen, I

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Speaker 1: like to paint a picture. My topic, My topic is

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Speaker 1: what is it about someone that can win your heart over?

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Speaker 1: What is it that that you really love that only

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Speaker 1: when you all of a sudden something happy and you're like,

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Speaker 1: that's it that she broke up with me. I went

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Speaker 1: back for more. She's like, it's over, it's over, it's over.

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Speaker 1: But for real, what is it that someone can do

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Speaker 1: to win your heart over? There's got to be something.

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Speaker 1: We all have nice hearts in here. We're not coal

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Speaker 1: made of coal. I mean, what do we at? It's like,

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Speaker 1: what's what? What is that that can win you over?

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Speaker 1: What is the one thing someone can do? Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: two things Jim Cook is out of nowhere. That wins

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Speaker 1: me over. Got I really like when people make fun

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Speaker 1: of me. I don't know why. It is hilarious. So

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Speaker 1: a guy makes fun of you and you're like, that's it.

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Speaker 1: I'm in love with him, absolutely, come on, because I

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Speaker 1: make fun of people all day long, so I want

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Speaker 1: I want someone who gives it back a little bit

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Speaker 1: like that. So if you can see that playful compatibility

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Speaker 1: where they're making fun of you back and forth, you're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm totally I'm taking by all right ahead. And then

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Speaker 1: my other one is if you hand make me something

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Speaker 1: I like that, why you actually made something? You care

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Speaker 1: to paint me? A picture? I love's disgusted. So if

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Speaker 1: I made I like that, that I made you an

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Speaker 1: unattractive puppet of your art or kindergarten teacher. We're learning

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Speaker 1: a little bit about each other. This is terrific. Yet,

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Speaker 1: come on, I'll tell you a story. I had a

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Speaker 1: really weird thing happened. I was around thirty and I

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Speaker 1: was dating a nineteen year old, which is beside the point.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't gonna go anywhere, right, so the jail so

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Speaker 1: I toltally. It just wasn't gonna work out, and she

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Speaker 1: took it hard, right, So then two nights later she

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Speaker 1: did so. Then two nights later, knock at the door

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Speaker 1: and it's this girl and she's got a German chocolate

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Speaker 1: cake with written on the top of it age is

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Speaker 1: just a number. I'm like, I can never eat German

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Speaker 1: chocolate cake again because I have this girl coming here

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Speaker 1: crying at my door holding a cake that has words

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Speaker 1: on it. She didn't get that. I tried the cake.

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Speaker 1: It really wasn't that did she write on the cake

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Speaker 1: and crayon? No man gartener slack. So if if you

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Speaker 1: face forward to your your future wedding date whenever, that

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Speaker 1: maybe won't have German chocolate cake. Well that's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: So Heather goes, no, I really love German chocolate cake.

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Speaker 1: I need this as my wedding cake, Red velvet baby.

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Speaker 1: All he has to do is tell her that story.

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Speaker 1: She won't want to exactly. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, Brodie Garrett,

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Speaker 1: Come on, guys, what wins you over? Was it? It's

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Speaker 1: gonna be fun Fatty to tell me the story about Fatty.

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Speaker 1: Has anybody done something with you for fun? Fatty? Well, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't have a love story like you do over

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Speaker 1: Chocolate Ship Cookie. How do you know they won you over?

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Speaker 1: Because I like fun Fetty well, and I guess if

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Speaker 1: Ali's listening right now, she should do something with fun

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Speaker 1: Fatty and she's really locked it in for you. All right,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you a story that's a reverse of what

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Speaker 1: we're talking about. It's a fail. So when I had

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Speaker 1: broken up with my now wife for a couple of

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Speaker 1: years and my mom set me up with this girl

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Speaker 1: that she at somewhere instance Girls perfect view. So we

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Speaker 1: talked on the phone for hours and hours, and she

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Speaker 1: says to me, I can tell if I'm if I'm

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Speaker 1: a good match with a guy if we like the

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Speaker 1: same flavor of Snapple. She's what, what's your favorite flavor?

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Speaker 1: I said, Diet pink lemonade. Oh my god, that's my

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Speaker 1: favorite flavor, Diet pink Snapple lemon lemonade. I said, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's wow, funny. Okay, Then we we like the same bands,

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Speaker 1: different things. So we agree to take her on a

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Speaker 1: first day to a Met game. She wanted to go

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Speaker 1: somewhere casual, public, whatever. So I show up to the

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Speaker 1: Mets game with two bottles of Diet pink lemonade in

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Speaker 1: my jacket sleeve and was sitting down watching the game.

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Speaker 1: And around the third or fourth inning, she says, I said,

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Speaker 1: do you want anything? You're hunger and I'm kind of thirsty.

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Speaker 1: I said, oh, funny, you should say that, and I

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Speaker 1: take out the two bottles of diet pink lemonade, figuring

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Speaker 1: story so sweet. Right, She goes, oh cool, I like

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Speaker 1: that too, that's great. No, she completely forgot that that's

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Speaker 1: her test whether she likes a guy. It meant nothing

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Speaker 1: to heart that I brought them what And I was

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Speaker 1: I was expecting like, oh my god, you brought diet

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Speaker 1: pink lemonade. Yeah, oh oh yeah, you like lemon to

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Speaker 1: you didn't say anything, to say anything for a second,

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Speaker 1: I was, I was taken aback and I went, what

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Speaker 1: the fuck? So I said, well, remember we talked on

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Speaker 1: the phone, all right, Yeah. I never saw her again

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Speaker 1: after that. All right, Danielle, come on, But the point

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Speaker 1: sometimes you were like the German chocolate tried. I shall

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Speaker 1: tell you what my husband did once. This is just

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Speaker 1: so cool. I did a couple of times. He used

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Speaker 1: to them made he used to he used to set

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Speaker 1: up our basement like a little beach trout. So, like

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Speaker 1: if we had Valentine's Day or my birthday, he would

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Speaker 1: cook because he's a really good cook. You wouldn't know

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Speaker 1: that about him. He doesn't unfortunately, cook as often as

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Speaker 1: he used to because he's so busy. But he would

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Speaker 1: go in the basement. He'd set it up like a

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Speaker 1: little bee stro He'd have like a little flower on

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Speaker 1: the thing, and he set it up in romantic music,

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Speaker 1: and he cooked me dinner. And once we had kids,

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Speaker 1: the kids would actually come down and like be the

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Speaker 1: waits that they wear mustaches. That would have been a

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Speaker 1: huge Danielle. He even did it before before they came,

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Speaker 1: and then after they came. So I loved him because

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Speaker 1: it was so it was just so romantic and different.

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Speaker 1: So God, he's looking at Danielle telling this story about

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Speaker 1: the bistro in the basement, and she's thinking, oh, that's

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Speaker 1: pretty cool. I like what a guy calls me a

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Speaker 1: bug bratsdal We have our thing. You want to you

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Speaker 1: want to rethinking, gun, I don't know. You stick to

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Speaker 1: your story, That's what I like. I like my current

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Speaker 1: boyfriend makes fun of how long my arms are all

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Speaker 1: the time, and it makes me laugh. I have really

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Speaker 1: long over here. Okay, look how yeah, like the Michael

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Speaker 1: Jordan poster, Nate is than me, all right, and then

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Speaker 1: watch watch this damn damn the short gun. Being short.

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Speaker 1: I love it because I was the shortest one on

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Speaker 1: the show until you showed up. But now I'm for real.

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Speaker 1: But how do you like it? I don't like being short? Well,

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Speaker 1: I it gets different for girls and guys. I love

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Speaker 1: being short because you can date anybody. My boyfriend's not

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Speaker 1: super tall. He's like you know. I was reading somewhere

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Speaker 1: yesterday and it said the worst thing you can do

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Speaker 1: is insult someone's height because they have no control, Like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know what you should You know, if if you

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Speaker 1: call someone hey, they can always lose weight. You cannot

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Speaker 1: get tall, right, Yeah, but that's why I wouldn't get

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Speaker 1: offended if you, like you say, oh, brody, you're not tall, Like, well,

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Speaker 1: I won't even do about it. Like if you insult

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Speaker 1: me on something I should fix, I would get more offended.

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Speaker 1: But can we start? Where's the list in the world?

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Speaker 1: Is very tall and her go to insult when she's

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Speaker 1: mad at someone. She's like that short blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, hey, you off the standing question, were

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Speaker 1: you ever taller? Like, if you have you gotten shorter.

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Speaker 1: I've heard that as you get older you will shrink.

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Speaker 1: I have not shrunk yet. They say you run marathon.

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Speaker 1: Did you shrink after the marathon? For real? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I have a solid inch or two tall. I'm five.

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Speaker 1: I tell every five six on a good day, but

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Speaker 1: I really just five five, So today is not a

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Speaker 1: good day. Shrink in the winter when it's cold, that's horrible. No,

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Speaker 1: but you know that's weekend. It was funny because this

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Speaker 1: weekend I'm getting ripped on. Now I fall in love

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Speaker 1: on how much how it is? How much? How much

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Speaker 1: of the monthly dues in the lollipop kild Stop. Dude,

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Speaker 1: I went to dinner with a buddy of mine. This

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Speaker 1: is horrible. I went to dinner with a buddy one

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Speaker 1: over the weekend. N Oh, my god, for Halloween. We

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Speaker 1: were waiting. That's horrible. We were waiting for this story. God,

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Speaker 1: are you please just ted conversations at the restaurant. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it really was. It was so nice, dude. I was

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Speaker 1: this is going nowhere. Now listen, I'm in my mind.

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Speaker 1: I have thousands of things going on. Now do I

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Speaker 1: talk about being a smurf, don't I talk about go

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Speaker 1: to dinner with buddy of mind. All I was gonna

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Speaker 1: say was to add to how how short I am.

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Speaker 1: My good friend just like yours. Gandhi is no or

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Speaker 1: whoever it's he's taller than me. He is about six six, right,

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Speaker 1: and we have got dinner. So I was standing on

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Speaker 1: a curb and I was still like right at his

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Speaker 1: like his nose still not to eye, but clothes enough,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, man, this is pretty cool beating up

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Speaker 1: this tall Like this is really what it's like. I

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Speaker 1: was interviewing him, and he goes, yeah, you get to

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Speaker 1: see Overbany's heads. It's neat, And I'm like, this is

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Speaker 1: pretty cool. So it was going nowhere, but you were

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Speaker 1: on a curb, right, Yeah, I'm standing on a curb.

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Speaker 1: It was flatfooted, right, But you weren't getting a different

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Speaker 1: view on the I was saying, Wow, this is what

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Speaker 1: it's really like. They dated underage girl. Can I ask

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Speaker 1: one thing? Going back to the original topic, Nate said,

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Speaker 1: what turned him off? But what turns you want? What's

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Speaker 1: your like soft spot? You know? I can't. I actually

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Speaker 1: like being insulted to. I like to know that I

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Speaker 1: can get it back in Heather do. What did Heather do?

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Speaker 1: The ship? Nothing was something that stole your heart. You're like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I like, I like when I don't get attention. Really yeah,

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Speaker 1: played hard to get Every girl I've ever dated that

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Speaker 1: I've dated seriously has played hard to get dead. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. Okay, So I'm pledging a fraternity right and

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Speaker 1: I'm and and it was hell weekend. So for Hell weekend,

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Speaker 1: They're like, what else can we possible due to these dudes,

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Speaker 1: because we're like a bunch of pieces of meat just

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Speaker 1: getting tortured. So they decided to whip out a gallon

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Speaker 1: of blue paint. So they painted my entire body from

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Speaker 1: head to toe blue, and then they colked my armpits

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Speaker 1: shut and then they did and then they dug taped

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Speaker 1: from me around. They dug tape me. I'm naked. They

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Speaker 1: painted my balls everything. They painted my balls. I have

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Speaker 1: blue balls and everything, and I'm wearing a white diaper.

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Speaker 1: So I'm a smurf now. And with with colking in

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Speaker 1: my pits, stay there for like an hour I don't know,

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Speaker 1: And then you get the clock off your pins to

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Speaker 1: rip them off, and then you scrub can you scrub

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Speaker 1: and do whatever you can and you're going to shower

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Speaker 1: and then you're still blue. That that was blue for

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Speaker 1: like two more days. No I look back now, No

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Speaker 1: kids study and do well in school and more in

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Speaker 1: the book, Please I can use that one on in

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Speaker 1: my fraternity and how I was hazed. More about great

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Speaker 1: tea stories in his book. What's the title when hits

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Speaker 1: the Shad? That's right, I got. I got punched in

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Speaker 1: the face, like every time. Never time I got punched,

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Speaker 1: I had to make a different noise. I was skin

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Speaker 1: punch so we could hear the noise. Yeah, I know,

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Speaker 1: I was in I had I was stuck in a corner.

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Speaker 1: And every time this kid shown punchman the face, I

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Speaker 1: had to make a different noise. And then this other guy,

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Speaker 1: Chris Punchman's face, I had to make a different noise

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Speaker 1: until eventually the president finally saw it. My eyes were

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Speaker 1: just you know, swollen shut. I couldn't even say. I

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Speaker 1: was just getting back about That's the fifteen minute Morning

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Speaker 1: Show