WEBVTT - The Girlfriends S1/E2: Lobsters for Dinner 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:14.240 Novel, Hey listener. In this episode, there are mentions of 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:19.960 violence against women, coercive control, and murder. There's also plenty 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.680 of lighter stories about my life and friends. You even 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:25.880 get to meet my mom, and believe it or not, 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:29.080 she is a hoot. Now. I think I swear a 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:32.520 few times too, and given my age, it's just too 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:35.159 late to make a polite woman of me now. So 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:40.200 consider yourself warned. If you do listen and are impacted 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:43.080 by any of our themes, you can reach out to 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:48.599 No More, a domestic violence charity we've partnered with. They 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:51.440 have lots of great resources to help you or your 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:55.280 loved ones. You can find them at no More dot org. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:01:13.399 That's no More Dot. There's nothing quite like flying in 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:19.960 a small twin engine plane. The turbulence, the way the 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:26.959 engine roars at you. There's always a moment in lift 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:29.560 off when you feel like you're taking life into your 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:35.120 own hands, and I guess that's where the thrill is. 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:41.640 On one of my favorite trips with Bob, we flew 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:45.400 out over the Valley of Fire and into California's Death Valley. 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:50.560 The mountain ridges and grand expanses of sand were absolutely breathtaking. 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:56.920 Eventually we touched down on a small, unattended strip in 0:01:56.960 --> 0:02:00.520 the middle of the National Park. Bob took my hand 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:03.440 and help me out of the private plane. I felt 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:04.840 like I was a pretty woman. 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:08.480 When I was a little girl. My mama used to 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:10.280 lock me in the attic when I was bad, which 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:14.280 was pretty often, and I would pretend I was a 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:18.600 princess trapped in the tower by a wicked queen. And 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:23.079 then suddenly, this night on a white horse, when these 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:26.480 colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword, 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:31.160 and he would climb up the tower and rescue me. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.799 My life hadn't been easy lately, especially when it came 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:45.760 to men. I'd been married twice already, and both marriages 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:50.480 had ended horribly. My first marriage it ended in a plain, old, 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:54.480 sad divorce, and the second marriage, well, while I was 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:59.079 separated from my husband, he took his own life. By 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.320 the time I met I was juggling being a single 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:05.000 parent to my nine year old daughter and trying to 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:09.400 build a career. And then suddenly here I was hiking 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:12.840 out to the Furnace Creek oasis with the picnic hamper 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:17.480 full of cheese, hummus, grapes, and shrimp cocktail, all prepared 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:21.280 by my doctor Bob. It was one of the most 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:26.480 romantic dates of my life. I'd gotten the fairy tale. 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:30.120 So what happened after he climbed out the tower and 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:30.919 rescued her. 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:33.560 She rescues him right back. 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.120 That's what I wanted. I wanted Bob to rescue me 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:47.880 from my normal, private, jetless life, and I wanted to 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:52.600 rescue him from his past. In return. Up in the sky, 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.240 it felt like I could have it all. 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:56.600 So even when things. 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.200 Started to get weird on the ground, I kept my 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:08.360 head in the cloud. I'm Carol Fisher and from the 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:11.880 teams at Novel and iHeartRadio. You were listening to The 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:42.919 Girlfriends episode two, Lobsters for Dinner. You You've got You 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:44.039 You You. 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:49.000 So this is the neighborhood my mom lives in, which 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.760 is a little bit more affluent then with a real 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:56.400 guard gate, not a fake one, but those kind of 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:58.799 gates are really popular here with no guards. 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:02.640 It's this Vegas. It's a false into security, right. 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:06.240 I'm driving over to my mom's house with a trunk 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:10.279 full of snacks. I've told my producer Anna to brace herself. 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:13.760 It's going to be full of Jewish ladies talking over 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.200 one another, eating and. 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:16.960 I brought lunch. 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:22.160 I went the whole food I got you vegan stuff. 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:37.040 I know my guests. 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:41.160 Mindy's here too. Her and my mom are very close. 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:44.520 We didn't want to give you this weather. 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:47.960 Well it's it's just like I. 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.800 Know, I just was thinking, why would we give you 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:51.919 London weather. 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:58.279 Mom provided Anna with a warm welcome of flavored fruit 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:01.960 waters three full bodied de utterance that she was told 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:05.760 in great detail she could use anywhere, and a vegan 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:09.720 magazine she had picked up at the grocery store. Equipped 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:13.040 with her new offerings. Anna was eventually invited to sit 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:13.880 down for lunch. 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:18.839 Do you know what vegan? 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:25.359 Yes, yes, this is vegan. Megan amazing, and this is vegan. 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:26.360 This is vegan. 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:31.120 If you ever wondered what it was like to be 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:34.480 mothered by three Jewish ladies at the same time, well 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.919 this is it. So what are we talking about? 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:39.680 After you're talking. 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:43.599 About I first introduced Bob to my mom and my 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:47.200 stepdad stand after we'd been dating for about a month, 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:50.599 and I was so excited. My mom wanted me to 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.720 find a good Jewish doctor and I had, so I 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:57.599 was really looking forward to seeing that warm, proud. You 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:01.440 know he did good, Carol look on her face, but 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:03.599 they both thought he was a little odd. 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:10.400 Oh, no one ever made Sand feel uncomfortable. But there 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:14.680 was something about him that Sand said, Oh my goodness, 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:21.000 this guy is really strange. He was an expert in everything. 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:25.360 He could do everything. And when I'm talking about the kitchen, 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.679 he know a goddamn thing about the kitchen. 0:07:28.840 --> 0:07:31.920 Mom's feelings around Bob and the kitchen stemmed from a 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.720 disastrous early meeting where Bob offered to come over and 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:39.880 cook lobsters for dinner. But when he said lobsters, he 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:44.160 meant live lobsters. And when he said live lobsters, he 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:48.360 meant live lobsters that he expected my mom and stepdad 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:48.760 to buy. 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:51.320 We had to get lobster for him. 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.600 Not a very good start, and. 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:56.800 Dummies, we did that, and he should have for catrig 0:07:56.880 --> 0:08:02.080 and flown to Maine to get them. I mean serious. 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:06.080 When we arrived at the house, Bob didn't seem interested 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.280 in stopping to talk to my mom at all. Instead, 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:12.040 he rushed straight into the kitchen to start cooking the 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:18.920 lobsters she had purchased. We watched on as he dramatically 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:23.720 plunged the crustaceans into boiling salted water, leaving a trail 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:25.120 of mess in his wake. 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:30.720 Everything was upside down and it didn't bother him at all. 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:32.760 It was disastrous. 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:36.319 I mean, I didn't need him to clean up. I 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:39.960 needed a cleaning crew with about eight people. 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:47.360 The thing is, even though my mom had concerns about him, 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:50.400 she never mentioned them to me again. She knew he 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.760 looked good on paper. I mean, not to believer the point, 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:57.000 but he was a flying Jewish doctor, for God's sake. 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.520 So sure he was a messy lobster cook, but you 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:03.760 could barely make a move in Las Vegas without somebody 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:06.560 telling you how accomplished Bob Bereenbaum was. 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:09.680 The thing about Bobby is he was at the top 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:11.520 of his game on most everything. 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:15.719 This is Ernie Sussman, a local urologist who Bob befriended 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:17.560 after he gave him flying lessons. 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:20.280 I'm sure he was well respected by the medical community. 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:23.000 He would fly as playing down in Mexico with other 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.800 doctors and do cleft palettes and do these free clinics. 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:27.560 So he had a good heart and he was a 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:30.440 pure plastic surgeon. It wasn't just about the money. 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:33.840 It was all of those accomplishments that made me overlook 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:37.400 some of his oddities, like how I heard he hated 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:41.400 smokers so much that he refused to treat them, or 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:44.800 how he would spend hours upon hours at his computer 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:48.320 ignoring me. Or the way his temper could go from 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:51.679 zero to one hundred in less than three seconds. 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:58.280 Were the other experiences why you felt like he saw 0:09:58.320 --> 0:09:59.079 his rage. 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:02.800 So oh, I hung out a lot at his house, 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:05.080 and he'd come to mind. But he had the nicer home. 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:07.840 So when I didn't have my daughter and you were 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:10.240 in a shared custody and she was with their dad, 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:12.480 I would go over and spend time at his house. 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:16.679 So I was emptying the dishwasher one day and Bob 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:20.240 was nearby, and one of the glasses fell out of 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:24.439 my hands as I'm putting it in the cabinet, and 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:29.000 you might have thought that I broke something that was 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:33.160 a treasured antique. I've never quite seen anything like it. 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:38.920 His voice was raised, he's flushed, he's pissed. He's really 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:42.040 mad at me for breaking this glass. And I am perplexed, 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.160 Like I broke a glass, Bob, what the hell? 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:46.160 It's a glass? 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:51.240 He's like, well, you don't understand it's part of a set. Well, 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:53.720 where'd you get it? Will they have to be bob 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:57.720 as a set? How much were these glasses? 0:10:57.960 --> 0:10:58.120 Will? 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:01.920 They're eight dollars a piece? Yes, And so now I'm pissed. 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:07.120 He's not backing down. So I go to my wallet 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:10.240 and get out eight dollars and I hand it to 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:15.400 him and said, here's for the glass. That was probably 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:18.760 the first time that I ever really experienced him mad 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:22.880 at me. I had witnessed him be frustrated with others, 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:26.120 but now it's directed at me, and it didn't feel good. 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:30.120 It didn't feel normal, and my reaction was fuck you. 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:34.160 But then after something like that, we would do a 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:37.520 flurry of fun stuff, like he flew us for a 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:41.360 romantic weekend away to Sedona, Arizona, where we met up 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:44.720 with his sister and her family. He once flew us 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:47.199 across the country to Florida just so I could take 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.400 my daughter to visit my grandmother. In fact, at one 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.520 point during our relationship, he took my daughter's skiing for 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.760 the day when I was busy at work. But actually 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:59.319 one of our most memorable trips was a weekend away 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:04.800 to a conference and during the flight there, I noticed 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:07.720 that Bob started to get really quiet, and at first 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:10.439 I tried to ignore it. It's like a weekend away. 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.520 I'm excited. I don't have my daughter with me. We're 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.679 going to have so much fun. But Bob didn't let up, 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.319 and by the time we got to the hotel he 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:24.480 was visibly angry. When I asked him what was wrong, 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.400 he turned to me, not saying a word, and he 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:30.480 just put his hands up in the air and he goes, 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:34.000 look at these dots, Carol, look at these dots on 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:39.040 my hand, Carol, You've given me syphless. And I was like, 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:43.240 what the hell, I've not given you syphless? How could 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.840 I have done that? But he wouldn't believe me and 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:52.000 started accusing me of being unfaithful. And just for the record, 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:54.600 I need you to know that I did not give 0:12:54.679 --> 0:13:00.640 Bob sifless, Like there is no way I gave Bob sifless. Instead, 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:03.800 what I did do is I snuck off to make 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:06.240 a phone call to my mother and I told her 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:09.240 I really needed to get home right away because I 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:12.800 did not feel safe. But I had a problem. I 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.520 was stuck out in the middle of nowhere and I 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:16.920 didn't know how to get back. 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:23.079 I was just so worried about her, and I thought, 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.760 this guy is up to something. 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.560 So it turns out my mother then called Mindy. 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:35.360 Nan called and said, Carol's with Bob and she has 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:39.079 to fly home from somewhere in the middle of the country. 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:41.600 I don't know where they had landed. I don't remember, 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:48.000 and we have to get her home. And I said, okay, 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:52.600 is she okay? Said yeah, she's okay, but she can't 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:54.240 continue the flight. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.680 I didn't. I told him to get lost. I booked 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:10.080 a commercial flight and I headed back to Las Vegas alone. 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:11.240 When Bob got. 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.560 Back, we continued to date for a little while, but 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.480 it was never the same. Bob did go to the 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:19.000 doctor for his hands and was diagnosed with some kind 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:23.120 of contact dermatitis, which is a pretty common ailment for surgeons, 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:28.640 but he never apologized because apologizing, well, it really wasn't 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:33.240 Bob's thing. And then, after six months of dating, he 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:37.960 broke up with me. I'd be lying if I said 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.920 I wasn't devastated. And while I knew intellectually things weren't right, 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.400 there was still this part of me that thought we 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.720 could make it work. Perhaps I'd be able to change him, 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.520 and in turn, I'd get to live that pretty woman 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:55.600 ending I had always dreamt of. Turns out if you're 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.960 into your pretty woman trivia. In the original script, there 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:02.800 was not a happy end Vivian Julia Roberts's character. Either 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.920 she doesn't get her man or her fairy tale. Her 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:11.400 life just continues as if they never met. I can 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:33.920 see why they changed it, because the reality sucks. A 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:36.920 few weeks after Bob dumped me in the early summer 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.840 of nineteen ninety five, I met up with Mindy at 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:43.400 our favorite strip mall restaurant, The Mayflower, on the corner 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:48.960 of Sahara and Decatur. We loved it there. It was 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.720 upscale but not pretentious, and they had the best Chinese 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:56.160 fusion food in the city. When we arrived, we sat 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.600 down at our table, ordered our usual Mayflower shrimp and 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:04.720 grilled lemon grass chicken salad, and started to gossip conversationally. 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.840 There was really only one thing on the menu, Bob. 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:10.960 How I couldn't believe he'd broken up with me. The 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.600 sifless allegation, and all the questions we still had about 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:18.560 who this guy really was. Mindy felt like he never 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:22.600 really reached his true potential, probably because he was an asshole. 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:27.600 I was always surprised that he didn't run for office, 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:32.240 even you know, like president of the Clark County Medical 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:37.240 Association or some community board or something like that. 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.320 And then I said, oh, you. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:47.680 Obviously don't know about the skeletons in his closet, And 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:51.960 I go, what skeletons in the closet? 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:56.440 So here, I am realizing at that moment that I 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.640 might be the only person in Las Vegas to know 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:04.679 about Bob's missing wife. Mindy clearly doesn't know anything. She 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:07.960 didn't even know he was married before, So I start 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:12.120 breaking it down. Before Bob moved to Las Vegas, he 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.879 was married to a woman named Gail cats Now. Gail 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:20.120 mysteriously went missing, and at one point Bob was accused 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:25.800 of murdering her. Apparently he was fully investigated and deemed innocent, 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:30.040 but his wife, Gail, well, she had never been found. 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:37.800 Oh my god, this was like, yeah, unsolved mysteries. 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:42.040 There's something you need to know about Mindy. Growing up, 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:46.000 she read Harriet the Spy, The Hardy Boys, and Sherlock Holmes. 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:48.840 As an adult, she would passed her time trying to 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:53.120 solve mysteries faster than Molder and Scully. Last year, her 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:57.080 favorite TV show was Only Murders in the Building. She's 0:17:57.160 --> 0:18:00.600 a true crime nut, and I had essentially just her 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:02.720 a real life case to solve. 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:07.240 I was intrigued to the point of like, let's nail him. 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:10.840 That evening, Mindy hurried home to share her discovery with 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:12.040 her fiancee, Jeff. 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:14.720 Jeff said, I knew it. 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.639 I knew it from the minute I touched his hand. 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:21.760 An electric spark went through my body, like when you 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:25.600 have one of those dag things that you put in 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:28.399 your palm and it causes you to vibrate, you know. 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:33.359 It felt like that I knew it, and I'm going yeah, Right. 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:37.320 As Jeff and Mindy were riling each other up, I 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.680 was getting on with my life, bouncing back from the breakup, 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:44.879 taking my daughter to school. I guess the difference is 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:48.080 that Bob's story wasn't new to me. He had told 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.760 it to me on our first date, and despite our 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:54.920 ups and downs, I still believed him. But Mindy, oh 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:57.960 my gosh, she was like a dog with a bone. 0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:05.800 She had to investigate for this was nineteen ninety five, 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:08.600 and we couldn't just type into Google like you can today. 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:13.080 But Mindy she had seen enough detective shows to know 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:16.320 that all the big libraries will have some sort of 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:20.439 newspaper archive. So off she heads to Clark County Public 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:24.719 Library on Flamingo and Maryland Parkway, a huge, red bricked 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:29.320 campus style building complex. It was Mindy's first real life 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:32.879 Watson and Holmes moment. She started searching what little she 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:36.399 could on the library computers. Then she headed to the 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:40.399 microfish machines to flick through newspapers New York or New 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:42.000 York Times. The Post. 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:46.440 I was searching his name and her name and coming 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:52.320 up with very little except for this one little snippet. 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:58.359 The parents of a surgeon's wife who disappeared after walking 0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:01.400 out of her Eastside apartment a life days ago, said 0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:05.720 yesterday that they fear their daughter is dead. Bierenbaum said 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:08.520 he and his wife had marital problems, and he had 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:11.080 argued with her just before she had walked out of 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:14.679 their East eighty fifth Street apartment at eleven fifteen on 0:20:14.800 --> 0:20:18.879 July seventh. Bierenbaum said his wife said she was going 0:20:18.920 --> 0:20:21.800 for a walk in Central Park, as she did frequently 0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:25.720 to cool out. Please, said they cast barn Baum was 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:30.639 never seen leaving the building. It was like saucer eyes. 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:46.359 Oh God, if you had been so coming, so fucking 0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:50.160 so bad, Helga les, You're a lot. 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:53.600 A few nights later, Mindy and Jeff are sitting on 0:20:53.640 --> 0:21:01.200 the sofa watching the movie Boxing Helena. It's a notoriously 0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:05.199 terrible movie about a murderous plastic surgeon who falls in 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:08.159 love with the woman and kidnaps her. In order to 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:11.800 keep her imprisoned in his house. He starts amputating parts 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:16.120 of her body until finally she's just a Torso, let's 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:24.200 light up. Not really my kind of movie. 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:29.639 And Jeff said, it's Bob. It's Bob, It's Bob. 0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:33.040 So now they have a work in hypothesis based on 0:21:33.080 --> 0:21:35.560 a few old New York articles and a movie with 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:38.440 the score of seventeen percent on Rotten Tomatoes. 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:46.320 And this becomes sort of this hobby of Jeff and 0:21:46.440 --> 0:21:50.840 mine because he's convinced Bob off this woman. I like 0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:54.119 the research, I like the games. It's like a scavenger hunt. 0:21:54.240 --> 0:22:01.440 To us, it's some stupid thing to occupy us. 0:22:02.240 --> 0:22:05.000 From then on it became their bit. When Mindy was 0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:07.920 at work or at an event, Jeff would send her 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:08.840 little messages. 0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:14.600 At that point, there was no instant messaging. We still 0:22:14.640 --> 0:22:20.560 carried beepers, and Jeff would use the numbers like eight 0:22:21.080 --> 0:22:26.840 six seven six, and I'd be like staring at my 0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:33.280 phone writing the letters down like it was a crossword puzzle, 0:22:33.440 --> 0:22:43.320 and it would be oh Torso. 0:22:40.080 --> 0:22:42.800 By this point, Mindy had gone deep enough into the 0:22:42.840 --> 0:22:46.159 morbid curiosity rabbit hole that there was no way out, 0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:50.080 and before too long she dragged me in two. So 0:22:50.119 --> 0:22:53.399 we started meeting up at the Mayflower more regularly to 0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:56.800 talk about Mindy's findings. She even came up with the 0:22:56.840 --> 0:23:00.639 code name, inspired by her favorite children's book, Harriet the 0:23:00.680 --> 0:23:04.680 Spy Club, And that's when our investigation really began. 0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:21.720 Oh after Mindy and I had met up at the 0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:24.920 Mayflower a few times, my mom got a bit envious, 0:23:25.200 --> 0:23:27.040 so we started inviting her along. 0:23:27.640 --> 0:23:29.679 At first, it looked a lot like the lunch with 0:23:29.800 --> 0:23:33.200 Anna the Vegan. We would talk about Bob and laugh 0:23:33.280 --> 0:23:36.440 over a plate of spring rolls. Mom would bitch about 0:23:36.440 --> 0:23:39.440 his lobster cooking skills, and you know, Mindy would bring 0:23:39.520 --> 0:23:41.760 up the time Bob made me sit on his lap 0:23:41.840 --> 0:23:43.359 at a medical mixer. 0:23:43.520 --> 0:23:49.000 That gave me reflux. Do you have a stain on 0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:52.479 your pants that she needs to cover up, or what's 0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:53.640 the deal here? 0:23:54.119 --> 0:23:57.639 And I would talk about his totally irrational anger. Do 0:23:57.720 --> 0:24:01.879 you remember when Bob to kill your dog because a 0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:03.040 bit rock? 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:05.159 Oh? No. 0:24:06.880 --> 0:24:10.159 The fact is I didn't think I had actually dated 0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:12.960 a murderer. It was just nice to trash on a 0:24:13.000 --> 0:24:15.760 guy who had treated me so badly, to share some 0:24:15.840 --> 0:24:18.960 laughter and a glass of wine with my girlfriends. But 0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:22.639 then we started getting other women in Bob's life involved. 0:24:23.119 --> 0:24:26.720 I paid a visit to Bob's old receptionist and office manager, 0:24:27.000 --> 0:24:32.399 who had plenty of stories about Bob's anger. After a 0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:36.600 few meetings, I called up Stephanie Youngblood, Bob's first fiance, 0:24:36.800 --> 0:24:40.159 in Las Vegas, and asked her to join us, and 0:24:40.240 --> 0:24:44.520 with her we began to formulate theories about Gail's disappearance. 0:24:46.520 --> 0:24:50.639 One of them involved Bob's dad, Marvin's apparent access to 0:24:50.720 --> 0:24:51.560 a dog lab. 0:24:53.240 --> 0:25:01.000 She had information that he did cardiologic research at a 0:25:01.280 --> 0:25:08.000 dog lab, which fed into our dismemberment thing, that Marvin 0:25:08.280 --> 0:25:11.960 was somehow involved, that he brought the body to the 0:25:12.080 --> 0:25:16.000 dog lab and you know, dissect the body and put 0:25:16.000 --> 0:25:18.280 it in the duffel bag and then go off to 0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:26.639 Peterborough and throw him over the bridge. 0:25:27.400 --> 0:25:31.360 Between our meetings, Mindy tracked on evidence and brought an 0:25:31.480 --> 0:25:34.360 article she had found in the library, and from searching 0:25:34.400 --> 0:25:38.600 the early Internet, she started coming up with some crazy theories. 0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:42.480 We created our own little game of clue. You know, 0:25:42.680 --> 0:25:45.199 there was blood on the rug. Oh, he wrapped her 0:25:45.240 --> 0:25:47.959 in the rug. He took the rug. It was a 0:25:47.960 --> 0:25:50.760 New York apartment. It couldn't be too big of a rug. 0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:56.960 It's like the amount of mental energy I could have 0:25:57.000 --> 0:26:00.159 won the Nobel Prize. 0:26:00.800 --> 0:26:03.240 The more we met, the more I started to believe 0:26:03.280 --> 0:26:06.000 it was really possible that Bob had something to do 0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:09.480 with his wife's disappearance. It's not that any one piece 0:26:09.520 --> 0:26:13.160 of evidence gave us a gotcha moment. I just started 0:26:13.160 --> 0:26:16.680 to get a feeling that something wasn't right. It turned 0:26:16.720 --> 0:26:20.240 out that my clubmates all had stories like mine, a 0:26:20.359 --> 0:26:24.160 Bob flying off the handle, and so many questions about Gail. 0:26:24.920 --> 0:26:28.560 But the fact is, sitting in the Mayflower restaurant, sharing 0:26:28.600 --> 0:26:33.520 conspiracy theories and promtost we barely knew anything about Bob 0:26:33.560 --> 0:26:49.320 and Gail's life in New York. We were miles away. 0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:51.440 At the time. She was murdered. My sister was physically fit, 0:26:52.560 --> 0:26:56.920 mentally fit, in the middle of the PhD program at 0:26:56.920 --> 0:27:03.120 a prestigious university. Not go somewhere without. 0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:03.399 Talking to me. 0:27:04.359 --> 0:27:09.400 We would fall asleep without hanging up the phone. There's 0:27:09.440 --> 0:27:14.160 a man named Robert Burmbaum, and he killed her for 0:27:14.359 --> 0:27:19.800 one very simple reason. And I wish that I knew 0:27:19.840 --> 0:27:25.639 then what I know now. Yes, Gail educated me and 0:27:25.760 --> 0:27:26.880 all that have come after her. 0:27:29.680 --> 0:27:33.760 Elaine Katz, if you're listening, I am sorry it took 0:27:33.800 --> 0:27:37.639 so long for us to realize your sister's disappearance was 0:27:37.680 --> 0:27:45.000 not a game. Next time we go to New York. 0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:50.119