1 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: Novel, Hey listener. In this episode, there are mentions of 2 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 1: violence against women, coercive control, and murder. There's also plenty 3 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: of lighter stories about my life and friends. You even 4 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: get to meet my mom, and believe it or not, 5 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: she is a hoot. Now. I think I swear a 6 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 1: few times too, and given my age, it's just too 7 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 1: late to make a polite woman of me now. So 8 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:40,200 Speaker 1: consider yourself warned. If you do listen and are impacted 9 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: by any of our themes, you can reach out to 10 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:48,599 Speaker 1: No More, a domestic violence charity we've partnered with. They 11 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: have lots of great resources to help you or your 12 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: loved ones. You can find them at no More dot org. 13 00:00:55,920 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 1: That's no More Dot. There's nothing quite like flying in 14 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 1: a small twin engine plane. The turbulence, the way the 15 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: engine roars at you. There's always a moment in lift 16 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: off when you feel like you're taking life into your 17 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 1: own hands, and I guess that's where the thrill is. 18 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: On one of my favorite trips with Bob, we flew 19 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,400 Speaker 1: out over the Valley of Fire and into California's Death Valley. 20 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: The mountain ridges and grand expanses of sand were absolutely breathtaking. 21 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: Eventually we touched down on a small, unattended strip in 22 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: the middle of the National Park. Bob took my hand 23 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: and help me out of the private plane. I felt 24 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: like I was a pretty woman. 25 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: When I was a little girl. My mama used to 26 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 2: lock me in the attic when I was bad, which 27 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: was pretty often, and I would pretend I was a 28 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 2: princess trapped in the tower by a wicked queen. And 29 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:23,079 Speaker 2: then suddenly, this night on a white horse, when these 30 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 2: colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword, 31 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 2: and he would climb up the tower and rescue me. 32 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 1: My life hadn't been easy lately, especially when it came 33 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: to men. I'd been married twice already, and both marriages 34 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: had ended horribly. My first marriage it ended in a plain, old, 35 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: sad divorce, and the second marriage, well, while I was 36 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 1: separated from my husband, he took his own life. By 37 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: the time I met I was juggling being a single 38 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: parent to my nine year old daughter and trying to 39 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 1: build a career. And then suddenly here I was hiking 40 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: out to the Furnace Creek oasis with the picnic hamper 41 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: full of cheese, hummus, grapes, and shrimp cocktail, all prepared 42 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: by my doctor Bob. It was one of the most 43 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: romantic dates of my life. I'd gotten the fairy tale. 44 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: So what happened after he climbed out the tower and 45 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: rescued her. 46 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 3: She rescues him right back. 47 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: That's what I wanted. I wanted Bob to rescue me 48 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: from my normal, private, jetless life, and I wanted to 49 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: rescue him from his past. In return. Up in the sky, 50 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: it felt like I could have it all. 51 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 4: So even when things. 52 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: Started to get weird on the ground, I kept my 53 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: head in the cloud. I'm Carol Fisher and from the 54 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: teams at Novel and iHeartRadio. You were listening to The 55 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 1: Girlfriends episode two, Lobsters for Dinner. You You've got You 56 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,039 Speaker 1: You You. 57 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 5: So this is the neighborhood my mom lives in, which 58 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 5: is a little bit more affluent then with a real 59 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 5: guard gate, not a fake one, but those kind of 60 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,799 Speaker 5: gates are really popular here with no guards. 61 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 4: It's this Vegas. It's a false into security, right. 62 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: I'm driving over to my mom's house with a trunk 63 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: full of snacks. I've told my producer Anna to brace herself. 64 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: It's going to be full of Jewish ladies talking over 65 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: one another, eating and. 66 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 4: I brought lunch. 67 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: I went the whole food I got you vegan stuff. 68 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 4: I know my guests. 69 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,160 Speaker 1: Mindy's here too. Her and my mom are very close. 70 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 6: We didn't want to give you this weather. 71 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 4: Well it's it's just like I. 72 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 7: Know, I just was thinking, why would we give you 73 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:51,919 Speaker 7: London weather. 74 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: Mom provided Anna with a warm welcome of flavored fruit 75 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: waters three full bodied de utterance that she was told 76 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: in great detail she could use anywhere, and a vegan 77 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,720 Speaker 1: magazine she had picked up at the grocery store. Equipped 78 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,040 Speaker 1: with her new offerings. Anna was eventually invited to sit 79 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: down for lunch. 80 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 4: Do you know what vegan? 81 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:25,359 Speaker 7: Yes, yes, this is vegan. Megan amazing, and this is vegan. 82 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 7: This is vegan. 83 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: If you ever wondered what it was like to be 84 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 1: mothered by three Jewish ladies at the same time, well 85 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,919 Speaker 1: this is it. So what are we talking about? 86 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 7: After you're talking. 87 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,599 Speaker 1: About I first introduced Bob to my mom and my 88 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: stepdad stand after we'd been dating for about a month, 89 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 1: and I was so excited. My mom wanted me to 90 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,720 Speaker 1: find a good Jewish doctor and I had, so I 91 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 1: was really looking forward to seeing that warm, proud. You 92 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 1: know he did good, Carol look on her face, but 93 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: they both thought he was a little odd. 94 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 7: Oh, no one ever made Sand feel uncomfortable. But there 95 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 7: was something about him that Sand said, Oh my goodness, 96 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 7: this guy is really strange. He was an expert in everything. 97 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 7: He could do everything. And when I'm talking about the kitchen, 98 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,679 Speaker 7: he know a goddamn thing about the kitchen. 99 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: Mom's feelings around Bob and the kitchen stemmed from a 100 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: disastrous early meeting where Bob offered to come over and 101 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: cook lobsters for dinner. But when he said lobsters, he 102 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: meant live lobsters. And when he said live lobsters, he 103 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:48,360 Speaker 1: meant live lobsters that he expected my mom and stepdad 104 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: to buy. 105 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 7: We had to get lobster for him. 106 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 1: Not a very good start, and. 107 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 7: Dummies, we did that, and he should have for catrig 108 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 7: and flown to Maine to get them. I mean serious. 109 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: When we arrived at the house, Bob didn't seem interested 110 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: in stopping to talk to my mom at all. Instead, 111 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: he rushed straight into the kitchen to start cooking the 112 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: lobsters she had purchased. We watched on as he dramatically 113 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: plunged the crustaceans into boiling salted water, leaving a trail 114 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: of mess in his wake. 115 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 7: Everything was upside down and it didn't bother him at all. 116 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 1: It was disastrous. 117 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,319 Speaker 7: I mean, I didn't need him to clean up. I 118 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 7: needed a cleaning crew with about eight people. 119 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: The thing is, even though my mom had concerns about him, 120 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: she never mentioned them to me again. She knew he 121 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: looked good on paper. I mean, not to believer the point, 122 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 1: but he was a flying Jewish doctor, for God's sake. 123 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: So sure he was a messy lobster cook, but you 124 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 1: could barely make a move in Las Vegas without somebody 125 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 1: telling you how accomplished Bob Bereenbaum was. 126 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 3: The thing about Bobby is he was at the top 127 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 3: of his game on most everything. 128 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,719 Speaker 1: This is Ernie Sussman, a local urologist who Bob befriended 129 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: after he gave him flying lessons. 130 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 3: I'm sure he was well respected by the medical community. 131 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 3: He would fly as playing down in Mexico with other 132 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 3: doctors and do cleft palettes and do these free clinics. 133 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 3: So he had a good heart and he was a 134 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 3: pure plastic surgeon. It wasn't just about the money. 135 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: It was all of those accomplishments that made me overlook 136 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 1: some of his oddities, like how I heard he hated 137 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 1: smokers so much that he refused to treat them, or 138 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 1: how he would spend hours upon hours at his computer 139 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: ignoring me. Or the way his temper could go from 140 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,679 Speaker 1: zero to one hundred in less than three seconds. 141 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 5: Were the other experiences why you felt like he saw 142 00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 5: his rage. 143 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: So oh, I hung out a lot at his house, 144 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: and he'd come to mind. But he had the nicer home. 145 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 1: So when I didn't have my daughter and you were 146 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: in a shared custody and she was with their dad, 147 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: I would go over and spend time at his house. 148 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: So I was emptying the dishwasher one day and Bob 149 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: was nearby, and one of the glasses fell out of 150 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 1: my hands as I'm putting it in the cabinet, and 151 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: you might have thought that I broke something that was 152 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: a treasured antique. I've never quite seen anything like it. 153 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 1: His voice was raised, he's flushed, he's pissed. He's really 154 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: mad at me for breaking this glass. And I am perplexed, 155 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: Like I broke a glass, Bob, what the hell? 156 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 6: It's a glass? 157 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: He's like, well, you don't understand it's part of a set. Well, 158 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: where'd you get it? Will they have to be bob 159 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 1: as a set? How much were these glasses? 160 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 7: Will? 161 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: They're eight dollars a piece? Yes, And so now I'm pissed. 162 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: He's not backing down. So I go to my wallet 163 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: and get out eight dollars and I hand it to 164 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: him and said, here's for the glass. That was probably 165 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: the first time that I ever really experienced him mad 166 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: at me. I had witnessed him be frustrated with others, 167 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: but now it's directed at me, and it didn't feel good. 168 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: It didn't feel normal, and my reaction was fuck you. 169 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: But then after something like that, we would do a 170 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: flurry of fun stuff, like he flew us for a 171 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: romantic weekend away to Sedona, Arizona, where we met up 172 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: with his sister and her family. He once flew us 173 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 1: across the country to Florida just so I could take 174 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 1: my daughter to visit my grandmother. In fact, at one 175 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: point during our relationship, he took my daughter's skiing for 176 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: the day when I was busy at work. But actually 177 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 1: one of our most memorable trips was a weekend away 178 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: to a conference and during the flight there, I noticed 179 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: that Bob started to get really quiet, and at first 180 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,439 Speaker 1: I tried to ignore it. It's like a weekend away. 181 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: I'm excited. I don't have my daughter with me. We're 182 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 1: going to have so much fun. But Bob didn't let up, 183 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,319 Speaker 1: and by the time we got to the hotel he 184 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: was visibly angry. When I asked him what was wrong, 185 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: he turned to me, not saying a word, and he 186 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: just put his hands up in the air and he goes, 187 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: look at these dots, Carol, look at these dots on 188 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: my hand, Carol, You've given me syphless. And I was like, 189 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: what the hell, I've not given you syphless? How could 190 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: I have done that? But he wouldn't believe me and 191 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 1: started accusing me of being unfaithful. And just for the record, 192 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: I need you to know that I did not give 193 00:12:54,679 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: Bob sifless, Like there is no way I gave Bob sifless. Instead, 194 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: what I did do is I snuck off to make 195 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 1: a phone call to my mother and I told her 196 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: I really needed to get home right away because I 197 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 1: did not feel safe. But I had a problem. I 198 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: was stuck out in the middle of nowhere and I 199 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 1: didn't know how to get back. 200 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,079 Speaker 7: I was just so worried about her, and I thought, 201 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 7: this guy is up to something. 202 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 1: So it turns out my mother then called Mindy. 203 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 8: Nan called and said, Carol's with Bob and she has 204 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,079 Speaker 8: to fly home from somewhere in the middle of the country. 205 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 8: I don't know where they had landed. I don't remember, 206 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 8: and we have to get her home. And I said, okay, 207 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 8: is she okay? Said yeah, she's okay, but she can't 208 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 8: continue the flight. 209 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 1: I didn't. I told him to get lost. I booked 210 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: a commercial flight and I headed back to Las Vegas alone. 211 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 6: When Bob got. 212 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 1: Back, we continued to date for a little while, but 213 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 1: it was never the same. Bob did go to the 214 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: doctor for his hands and was diagnosed with some kind 215 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: of contact dermatitis, which is a pretty common ailment for surgeons, 216 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 1: but he never apologized because apologizing, well, it really wasn't 217 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: Bob's thing. And then, after six months of dating, he 218 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: broke up with me. I'd be lying if I said 219 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: I wasn't devastated. And while I knew intellectually things weren't right, 220 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 1: there was still this part of me that thought we 221 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 1: could make it work. Perhaps I'd be able to change him, 222 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: and in turn, I'd get to live that pretty woman 223 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 1: ending I had always dreamt of. Turns out if you're 224 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: into your pretty woman trivia. In the original script, there 225 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: was not a happy end Vivian Julia Roberts's character. Either 226 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: she doesn't get her man or her fairy tale. Her 227 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: life just continues as if they never met. I can 228 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 1: see why they changed it, because the reality sucks. A 229 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 1: few weeks after Bob dumped me in the early summer 230 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: of nineteen ninety five, I met up with Mindy at 231 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: our favorite strip mall restaurant, The Mayflower, on the corner 232 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: of Sahara and Decatur. We loved it there. It was 233 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: upscale but not pretentious, and they had the best Chinese 234 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 1: fusion food in the city. When we arrived, we sat 235 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: down at our table, ordered our usual Mayflower shrimp and 236 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 1: grilled lemon grass chicken salad, and started to gossip conversationally. 237 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 1: There was really only one thing on the menu, Bob. 238 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: How I couldn't believe he'd broken up with me. The 239 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: sifless allegation, and all the questions we still had about 240 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: who this guy really was. Mindy felt like he never 241 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 1: really reached his true potential, probably because he was an asshole. 242 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 8: I was always surprised that he didn't run for office, 243 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:32,240 Speaker 8: even you know, like president of the Clark County Medical 244 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 8: Association or some community board or something like that. 245 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 1: And then I said, oh, you. 246 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 8: Obviously don't know about the skeletons in his closet, And 247 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 8: I go, what skeletons in the closet? 248 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 1: So here, I am realizing at that moment that I 249 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: might be the only person in Las Vegas to know 250 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,679 Speaker 1: about Bob's missing wife. Mindy clearly doesn't know anything. She 251 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,960 Speaker 1: didn't even know he was married before, So I start 252 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,120 Speaker 1: breaking it down. Before Bob moved to Las Vegas, he 253 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 1: was married to a woman named Gail cats Now. Gail 254 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 1: mysteriously went missing, and at one point Bob was accused 255 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 1: of murdering her. Apparently he was fully investigated and deemed innocent, 256 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 1: but his wife, Gail, well, she had never been found. 257 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 8: Oh my god, this was like, yeah, unsolved mysteries. 258 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: There's something you need to know about Mindy. Growing up, 259 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: she read Harriet the Spy, The Hardy Boys, and Sherlock Holmes. 260 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: As an adult, she would passed her time trying to 261 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 1: solve mysteries faster than Molder and Scully. Last year, her 262 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 1: favorite TV show was Only Murders in the Building. She's 263 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 1: a true crime nut, and I had essentially just her 264 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: a real life case to solve. 265 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 8: I was intrigued to the point of like, let's nail him. 266 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 1: That evening, Mindy hurried home to share her discovery with 267 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: her fiancee, Jeff. 268 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 6: Jeff said, I knew it. 269 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 8: I knew it from the minute I touched his hand. 270 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 8: An electric spark went through my body, like when you 271 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 8: have one of those dag things that you put in 272 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,399 Speaker 8: your palm and it causes you to vibrate, you know. 273 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 8: It felt like that I knew it, and I'm going yeah, Right. 274 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: As Jeff and Mindy were riling each other up, I 275 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 1: was getting on with my life, bouncing back from the breakup, 276 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 1: taking my daughter to school. I guess the difference is 277 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: that Bob's story wasn't new to me. He had told 278 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: it to me on our first date, and despite our 279 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 1: ups and downs, I still believed him. But Mindy, oh 280 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 1: my gosh, she was like a dog with a bone. 281 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 1: She had to investigate for this was nineteen ninety five, 282 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 1: and we couldn't just type into Google like you can today. 283 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 1: But Mindy she had seen enough detective shows to know 284 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: that all the big libraries will have some sort of 285 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:20,439 Speaker 1: newspaper archive. So off she heads to Clark County Public 286 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,719 Speaker 1: Library on Flamingo and Maryland Parkway, a huge, red bricked 287 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 1: campus style building complex. It was Mindy's first real life 288 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,879 Speaker 1: Watson and Holmes moment. She started searching what little she 289 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,399 Speaker 1: could on the library computers. Then she headed to the 290 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: microfish machines to flick through newspapers New York or New 291 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: York Times. The Post. 292 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 8: I was searching his name and her name and coming 293 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:52,320 Speaker 8: up with very little except for this one little snippet. 294 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,359 Speaker 8: The parents of a surgeon's wife who disappeared after walking 295 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 8: out of her Eastside apartment a life days ago, said 296 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,720 Speaker 8: yesterday that they fear their daughter is dead. Bierenbaum said 297 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 8: he and his wife had marital problems, and he had 298 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 8: argued with her just before she had walked out of 299 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,679 Speaker 8: their East eighty fifth Street apartment at eleven fifteen on 300 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 8: July seventh. Bierenbaum said his wife said she was going 301 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 8: for a walk in Central Park, as she did frequently 302 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 8: to cool out. Please, said they cast barn Baum was 303 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 8: never seen leaving the building. It was like saucer eyes. 304 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 9: Oh God, if you had been so coming, so fucking 305 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 9: so bad, Helga les, You're a lot. 306 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: A few nights later, Mindy and Jeff are sitting on 307 00:20:53,640 --> 00:21:01,200 Speaker 1: the sofa watching the movie Boxing Helena. It's a notoriously 308 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,199 Speaker 1: terrible movie about a murderous plastic surgeon who falls in 309 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,159 Speaker 1: love with the woman and kidnaps her. In order to 310 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: keep her imprisoned in his house. He starts amputating parts 311 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:16,120 Speaker 1: of her body until finally she's just a Torso, let's 312 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: light up. Not really my kind of movie. 313 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:29,639 Speaker 8: And Jeff said, it's Bob. It's Bob, It's Bob. 314 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: So now they have a work in hypothesis based on 315 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 1: a few old New York articles and a movie with 316 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,440 Speaker 1: the score of seventeen percent on Rotten Tomatoes. 317 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 8: And this becomes sort of this hobby of Jeff and 318 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 8: mine because he's convinced Bob off this woman. I like 319 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:54,119 Speaker 8: the research, I like the games. It's like a scavenger hunt. 320 00:21:54,240 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 8: To us, it's some stupid thing to occupy us. 321 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 1: From then on it became their bit. When Mindy was 322 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: at work or at an event, Jeff would send her 323 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: little messages. 324 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 8: At that point, there was no instant messaging. We still 325 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:20,560 Speaker 8: carried beepers, and Jeff would use the numbers like eight 326 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 8: six seven six, and I'd be like staring at my 327 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 8: phone writing the letters down like it was a crossword puzzle, 328 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 8: and it would be oh Torso. 329 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 1: By this point, Mindy had gone deep enough into the 330 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 1: morbid curiosity rabbit hole that there was no way out, 331 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 1: and before too long she dragged me in two. So 332 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 1: we started meeting up at the Mayflower more regularly to 333 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 1: talk about Mindy's findings. She even came up with the 334 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: code name, inspired by her favorite children's book, Harriet the 335 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:04,680 Speaker 1: Spy Club, And that's when our investigation really began. 336 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:21,720 Speaker 10: Oh after Mindy and I had met up at the 337 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 10: Mayflower a few times, my mom got a bit envious, 338 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 10: so we started inviting her along. 339 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,679 Speaker 1: At first, it looked a lot like the lunch with 340 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,200 Speaker 1: Anna the Vegan. We would talk about Bob and laugh 341 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,440 Speaker 1: over a plate of spring rolls. Mom would bitch about 342 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 1: his lobster cooking skills, and you know, Mindy would bring 343 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: up the time Bob made me sit on his lap 344 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 1: at a medical mixer. 345 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 8: That gave me reflux. Do you have a stain on 346 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,479 Speaker 8: your pants that she needs to cover up, or what's 347 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,640 Speaker 8: the deal here? 348 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 1: And I would talk about his totally irrational anger. Do 349 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,879 Speaker 1: you remember when Bob to kill your dog because a 350 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 1: bit rock? 351 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:05,159 Speaker 7: Oh? No. 352 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,159 Speaker 1: The fact is I didn't think I had actually dated 353 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 1: a murderer. It was just nice to trash on a 354 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: guy who had treated me so badly, to share some 355 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,960 Speaker 1: laughter and a glass of wine with my girlfriends. But 356 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,639 Speaker 1: then we started getting other women in Bob's life involved. 357 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: I paid a visit to Bob's old receptionist and office manager, 358 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: who had plenty of stories about Bob's anger. After a 359 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 1: few meetings, I called up Stephanie Youngblood, Bob's first fiance, 360 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: in Las Vegas, and asked her to join us, and 361 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:44,520 Speaker 1: with her we began to formulate theories about Gail's disappearance. 362 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:50,639 Speaker 1: One of them involved Bob's dad, Marvin's apparent access to 363 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: a dog lab. 364 00:24:53,240 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 8: She had information that he did cardiologic research at a 365 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 8: dog lab, which fed into our dismemberment thing, that Marvin 366 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 8: was somehow involved, that he brought the body to the 367 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 8: dog lab and you know, dissect the body and put 368 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 8: it in the duffel bag and then go off to 369 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 8: Peterborough and throw him over the bridge. 370 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,360 Speaker 1: Between our meetings, Mindy tracked on evidence and brought an 371 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,360 Speaker 1: article she had found in the library, and from searching 372 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: the early Internet, she started coming up with some crazy theories. 373 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 8: We created our own little game of clue. You know, 374 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,199 Speaker 8: there was blood on the rug. Oh, he wrapped her 375 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,959 Speaker 8: in the rug. He took the rug. It was a 376 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 8: New York apartment. It couldn't be too big of a rug. 377 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,960 Speaker 8: It's like the amount of mental energy I could have 378 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 8: won the Nobel Prize. 379 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 1: The more we met, the more I started to believe 380 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: it was really possible that Bob had something to do 381 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 1: with his wife's disappearance. It's not that any one piece 382 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 1: of evidence gave us a gotcha moment. I just started 383 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 1: to get a feeling that something wasn't right. It turned 384 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 1: out that my clubmates all had stories like mine, a 385 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 1: Bob flying off the handle, and so many questions about Gail. 386 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: But the fact is, sitting in the Mayflower restaurant, sharing 387 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 1: conspiracy theories and promtost we barely knew anything about Bob 388 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: and Gail's life in New York. We were miles away. 389 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 6: At the time. She was murdered. My sister was physically fit, 390 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 6: mentally fit, in the middle of the PhD program at 391 00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:03,120 Speaker 6: a prestigious university. Not go somewhere without. 392 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,399 Speaker 8: Talking to me. 393 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:09,400 Speaker 6: We would fall asleep without hanging up the phone. There's 394 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 6: a man named Robert Burmbaum, and he killed her for 395 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 6: one very simple reason. And I wish that I knew 396 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 6: then what I know now. Yes, Gail educated me and 397 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:26,880 Speaker 6: all that have come after her. 398 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 1: Elaine Katz, if you're listening, I am sorry it took 399 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 1: so long for us to realize your sister's disappearance was 400 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 1: not a game. Next time we go to New York. 401 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,119 Speaker 6: Of not saying that Gail was boy crazy, I was 402 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 6: boy crazy. Gail was love crazy. 403 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 8: Gail had a way about her that she would attract 404 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 8: a lot of attention. 405 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 6: Gail was engaged like twice before she graduated high school 406 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 6: and Saturday. She was a bit of a free spirit. 407 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 8: We were hippies back then, so you know, long haired 408 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:16,200 Speaker 8: rock and rollers. Her mother promoted that having a man 409 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:20,639 Speaker 8: in your life made you complete, and without that you weren't. 410 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 6: And then she met bu whirlwind relationship everything seemed great. 411 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 6: I do know now, it wasn't also easy. 412 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 1: The Girlfriends is produced by Novel for Ourheart Radio. For 413 00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 1: more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. This series is 414 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 1: hosted by me Carol Fisher and produced by Anna Sinfield. 415 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: Our assistant producer is Julian Manyu Gera Patten, and our 416 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 1: researcher is Madeline Parr. The editor is Veronica Simmons. Max 417 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: O'Brien is our executive producer. Our fact checker is Valeria Rocca. 418 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:27,720 Speaker 1: Production management from Sharie Houston and Charlotte Wolf. Sound design, 419 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: mixing and scoring by Daniel Kempsen and Nicholas Alexander. Music 420 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 1: supervision by Anna Sinfield. Original music composed by Luisa Gerstein. 421 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: Story development by Isaac Fisher. Willard Foxton is creative director 422 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:50,200 Speaker 1: of Development. Special thanks to Sean Glenn, David Waters, might 423 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:56,560 Speaker 1: Lee Raw, Katrina Norvel, David Wasserman, and Beth Anne Mcaluso. 424 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 1: We did reach out to Bob and his legal team 425 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,240 Speaker 1: to ask if he'd liked to comment on the podcast, 426 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: but we never heard back. 427 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 4: Novel