Speaker 1: Welcome to Criminalia, a production of Shonda Land Audio in
Speaker 1: partnership with I Heart Radio. Hello, and welcome to the
Speaker 1: third season of Criminalia. This season, we're exploring the lives
Speaker 1: and motivations of some of the most notorious impostors throughout history.
Speaker 1: I'm Maria tre Marquis and I'm Holly Fry. Okay, his
Speaker 1: full name was Imperative Nero Claudius Divy Claudius Philius Caesar
Speaker 1: Augustus Germanicus. But we're actually talking about the impostor Nero
Speaker 1: Claudius Divvy Claudius, Philius Caesar, Augustus Germanicus. And that's times three.
Speaker 1: It's a busy episode, it is, and it's a good thing.
Speaker 1: You have to read that times three. Polly's right, there
Speaker 1: are three documented pseudo neuros, and it's very likely there
Speaker 1: were many others who weren't successful enough to make it
Speaker 1: into the legend. Taking on the story of Nero is
Speaker 1: really it's really quite a big task, and to know
Speaker 1: why people pretended to be him, we need to know him.
Speaker 1: But I also want to give everybody a quick heads
Speaker 1: up here that it won't be a surprise. Really, I
Speaker 1: think in the realm of Roman rulers. But there's going
Speaker 1: to be some domestic violence in this episode. We're not
Speaker 1: going to linger over any of it, but there is
Speaker 1: some mentioned. There is some brutality, particularly the first couple
Speaker 1: of minutes after our first sponsor break. On December fift
Speaker 1: in the year thirty seven of the Common era, the
Speaker 1: man that we most commonly know as Nero was born
Speaker 1: as Lucius Dimidius Ahina Barbus. That's the son of Nius
Speaker 1: Dimidius A. Hino Barbus and Julia Agrippina also known as
Speaker 1: Agrippina the Younger. Through his mother, Lucius was the only
Speaker 1: living direct male descendant of Emperor Augustus, the first of
Speaker 1: the five Roman emperors, in the year forty eight, when
Speaker 1: he was still quite young and still called Lucius. Nero's
Speaker 1: biological father, who was a Roman general and politician, died
Speaker 1: soon after Emperor Claudius took the own. Julia and Claudius,
Speaker 1: who was her uncle, married Now I know uncle, but
Speaker 1: marriage in Roman times, as we've previously talked about, wasn't
Speaker 1: really how we know it to be today. It was
Speaker 1: almost never romantic, and it was almost always an agreement
Speaker 1: between families, and unlike in our modern society. Sometimes that
Speaker 1: agreement was within families. So after this marriage, Claudius adopted Lucius,
Speaker 1: and that is when Julia began to campaign that her
Speaker 1: son should be the successor to the throne, not Claudius's
Speaker 1: biological son Britannicus, who was the rightful heir. Not yet
Speaker 1: finished with her plans for their family, Julia also convinced
Speaker 1: Claudius that his daughter Octavia should marry her son, which
Speaker 1: also helped align Lucius with the throne. Those two were
Speaker 1: in fact married in the year fifty Claudius died just
Speaker 1: a few years later, in the year fifty four, and
Speaker 1: it is widely and I'm using a huge capital letters
Speaker 1: on that suspected that his wife, Julia had poisoned him
Speaker 1: with shrooms at a banquet. And so if this sounds familiar,
Speaker 1: we've actually talked about Julia before. Back in our very
Speaker 1: first season, we looked at the stories of female poisoners,
Speaker 1: and one of the first poisoners that we talked about was,
Speaker 1: in fact Julia and her mushrooms. In a very ambitious
Speaker 1: cocktail involving infusing vodka with mushrooms. It was a great idea.
Speaker 1: Still make it for bloody Mary exactly Upon the Emperor's death,
Speaker 1: Nero delivered a eulogy in Claudius's honor to the Senate,
Speaker 1: who then named him Emperor of Rome. This was the
Speaker 1: moment when Lucius became Nero, and Lucius took the name
Speaker 1: Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, and he ascended to the
Speaker 1: throne on October, just shy of his seventeenth birthday. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people would be surprised by this,
Speaker 1: because what we know, or think we know about Nero
Speaker 1: is that he was a tyrant. But when he started out,
Speaker 1: Nero actually wasn't described that way. Nero was a teenager,
Speaker 1: he was considered sense to historians contemporary to him, such
Speaker 1: as Sutonius, described him as handsome, with blue gray eyes, freckles,
Speaker 1: and blonde hair, specifically the yellow of the lion's mane.
Speaker 1: His hair color, though, is it's actually a bit debated.
Speaker 1: Many accounts referred to his blonde hair, but based off
Speaker 1: of some portraits of the emperor, some experts wonder if
Speaker 1: his hair actually may have been a little more red
Speaker 1: in color. He also had a beard, and although he
Speaker 1: may have tried, it did not cover up his double chin,
Speaker 1: so this is all important information if you have a
Speaker 1: plan on pretending to be calm. Nero. So this teenager
Speaker 1: who was possibly a strawberry blonde, but liked going to
Speaker 1: the theater, and he also enjoyed music, and he loved
Speaker 1: horse racing. As emperor, he established and performed in poetry, drama,
Speaker 1: and athletic competitions. He also ended secret political trials, and
Speaker 1: he created a more independent senate. He also banned capital punishment.
Speaker 1: Despite whether the senate a rooved of him or not,
Speaker 1: his people actually liked him at this point. There is
Speaker 1: actually some pro Nero evidence out there. So he started
Speaker 1: out quite well, but unfortunately that did not last. When
Speaker 1: Nero began his rule, he actually preferred to stick to
Speaker 1: his own interests. He preferred to leave the ruling of
Speaker 1: matters outside of his areas of interest to his three
Speaker 1: chief advisors, a major philosophical figure of the time, Seneca
Speaker 1: who was also his former tutor, Sextis Eprinus Burris, who
Speaker 1: was a prefect of the Praetorian Guard, and Julia, who
Speaker 1: we know was his mother. Julia, wrote historian Cassius Dio quote,
Speaker 1: managed for him all the business of the empire. She
Speaker 1: received embassies and sent letter to various communities, governors, and kings.
Speaker 1: After a falling out of some sort, though or perhaps
Speaker 1: it was just that Nero reached the age of eighteen,
Speaker 1: he eventually decided his mother was meddling and he did
Speaker 1: not want her influencing his rule. Encouraged by his former
Speaker 1: tutor Seneca, Nero began asserting himself. Julia assumed she was
Speaker 1: entitled to rule as the mother of an emperor, though,
Speaker 1: and she began threatening Nero. Nero, though, was completely unfazed.
Speaker 1: The Emperor Trajan, who came to power thirty years after
Speaker 1: Nero's death, is said to have spoken about the quinquinium neronis,
Speaker 1: which means the five good years of Nero's fourteen year rule.
Speaker 1: There's actually a phrase about it. We're going to take
Speaker 1: a break for a word from our sponsor. Nero may
Speaker 1: have started out strong, but things changed quickly. Welcome back
Speaker 1: to Criminalia. Now we are reaching that time we spoke
Speaker 1: of at the top of the show, when Nero's rule
Speaker 1: became brutal and violent. It most certainly did, and after
Speaker 1: dispensing with his advisors, the empire became violent under him.
Speaker 1: Rumors circulated about him, including everything from how he sedue
Speaker 1: married women to how he wandered the streets at night
Speaker 1: looking for people to beat or to kill at random.
Speaker 1: Nero was at this point considered to be decadent, ineffectual,
Speaker 1: and tyrannical. He began executing rivals, political rivals, or otherwise
Speaker 1: so do not cross him, and he started to torture
Speaker 1: and execute Christians. Nero two had also developed quite a
Speaker 1: not at all random hit list. It was also in
Speaker 1: fifty five that Nero's stepbrother, Britannicus, suddenly died under suspicious circumstances.
Speaker 1: Four years later, in the year fifty nine, after learning
Speaker 1: his mother was allegedly plotting against him, Nero put a
Speaker 1: hit on her. First, the plan was to poison her.
Speaker 1: Then it was to have her crushed by a falling ceiling,
Speaker 1: which seems very labor intensive, but they all do. Then
Speaker 1: he wanted to have her drowned in a self sinking boat.
Speaker 1: She survived every single attempt. Julia did not, however, survived,
Speaker 1: being stabbed to death, a murder disguised as suicide at
Speaker 1: the order of her son. Then, in the year sixty two,
Speaker 1: Nero exiled then executed his stepsister slash wife Octavia historian
Speaker 1: Suetonius wrote that quote. After several vain attempts to strangle her,
Speaker 1: he divorced her on the ground of barrenness, and when
Speaker 1: the people took it ill and openly reproached him, he
Speaker 1: banished her besides, and finally he had her put to
Speaker 1: death on a charge of adultery that was so shameless
Speaker 1: and unfounded. With Octavia gone, Nero married Papaia, who was
Speaker 1: a noble woman who was well known for her beauty.
Speaker 1: Roman historian Tacitus recorded that in sixty five, Nero kicked
Speaker 1: Papia to death. She was pregnant with their child at
Speaker 1: the time. Tacitus went on to describe the act as
Speaker 1: and were quoting him here a casual outburst of rage.
Speaker 1: In April of the year sixty four, a Roman governor
Speaker 1: named Gaius Julius Decks renounced Nero. The Praetorian Guard remember
Speaker 1: that is the force that was charged with guarding the
Speaker 1: emperor himself, renounced their support for him as well. When
Speaker 1: the Romans finally had enough of Nero's behavior, they revolted.
Speaker 1: By early June, the Senate declared Nero an enemy of
Speaker 1: the people, which basically meant that anyone could kill him
Speaker 1: without punishment. Tacitus wrote at the time, and we're gonna
Speaker 1: quote him again. Unlucky birds settled on the capitol houses
Speaker 1: fell in numerous earthquakes, and the week were trampled by
Speaker 1: the fleeing crowd. Nero escaped to the country, where on
Speaker 1: June nine he died by suicide. He did not manage
Speaker 1: this on his own, though his secretary at Paphroditos assisted him.
Speaker 1: Nero was the fifth Emperor of Rome and, following his death,
Speaker 1: the last in the Julio Claudian dynasty. The line is
Speaker 1: synonymous with the death of Nero, but it actually wasn't
Speaker 1: until fifty years after that that historians sweeked Oinous reported
Speaker 1: that his final words were quote what an artist dies
Speaker 1: in me. Political impostors, as we've seen this season, often
Speaker 1: pop up when they see a specific circumstance happening. A
Speaker 1: power vacuum, for example, the death of an emperor who
Speaker 1: had no heir, such as Nero, left the door wide
Speaker 1: open for people to make all sorts of claims. Claims
Speaker 1: to being his heir, claims to being the emperor himself,
Speaker 1: more and more claims. I'm sure The year sixty nine
Speaker 1: was known as the year of four Emperors, and it
Speaker 1: was named because four emperors ruled Rome in rapid succession
Speaker 1: that year. They were galba Otho, Vitelius, and Vespasian. None
Speaker 1: of those men were impostors, but this is when the
Speaker 1: impostors started to come forward. Nero may have been a tyrant,
Speaker 1: which actually may be attractive to some impersonators, but most
Speaker 1: of all, he was just a powerful man, for better
Speaker 1: or for worse. He ruled over the entire Roman Empire
Speaker 1: for fourteen years. According to the Glaudian census that took
Speaker 1: place in the year forty seven, the population was just
Speaker 1: under seven million people. The Roman Empire was really something
Speaker 1: to behold, and it's hard to know just how accurate
Speaker 1: that number really is. There was biased recording, for sure,
Speaker 1: and we also don't know whether or not the count
Speaker 1: over the years was limited to male citizens, male citizens
Speaker 1: and their families, or maybe it included women, freed men,
Speaker 1: enslaved people, anybody else. Either way, we do know he
Speaker 1: ruled over a huge amount of people. Even just scratching
Speaker 1: the surface, Nero's rule was, let's call it turbulent, but
Speaker 1: there were some really momentous and historically significant events, both
Speaker 1: good and bad, mostly bad during his reign, the Great
Speaker 1: Fire of Rome, which some actually claimed that Nero ignited
Speaker 1: the rebellion of Buddhica against the Roman conquerors of Britain,
Speaker 1: the assassination of Nero's mother and his first and second wives,
Speaker 1: many many other deaths, of course, and as is synonymous
Speaker 1: with Nero's brand, there was extravagant excess and that meant
Speaker 1: tax increases and other unpopular decisions. With that snapshot of
Speaker 1: the man who was Nero, why would anyone ever really
Speaker 1: want to pretend to be him? We're going to find out.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a break for a word from
Speaker 1: our sponsor, and when we're back where you're going to
Speaker 1: first talk about Nero as the Antichrist. Welcome back to Criminalia.
Speaker 1: Why would anyone want to be Nero? Well maybe power, money,
Speaker 1: murder at think list goes on sure murder if you
Speaker 1: wanted to do that, do you want to call it that?
Speaker 1: Despite his marriages and lovers, Nero had no air so
Speaker 1: almost immediately following his death, rival generals began moving their
Speaker 1: troops toward Rome to stake they claims, and it also
Speaker 1: didn't take long before people pretending to be Nero appeared,
Speaker 1: according to historian sweet Tony, as several imperial edicts were
Speaker 1: forged under Nero's name after he had died, and with
Speaker 1: new evidence who did these forgeries. The signing of those
Speaker 1: documents actually encouraged Nero's followers, who believed a very persistent
Speaker 1: prophecy Nero's return was imminent to avenge himself against his enemies.
Speaker 1: Please let me have a prophecy like this when I passed.
Speaker 1: This idea of Nero's return was a very popular one.
Speaker 1: In addition to avenging himself against his enemies, there was
Speaker 1: also a belief that was known as the Nero read
Speaker 1: of Eva's. That was a legend that assumed that Nero
Speaker 1: was somehow still alive. Depending on who you were and
Speaker 1: where you sat in society, this would have been either
Speaker 1: a good or bad prediction. The wealthy, who had plotted
Speaker 1: against him kind of feared that if Nero returned, he
Speaker 1: would come for them first. It's kind of part of
Speaker 1: that avenging himself against his enemies thing. The poor, who
Speaker 1: had benefited from the emperor's public policies believed that he
Speaker 1: had fled to Parthia. Today, that's the region known as
Speaker 1: Corazon in Iran. They are in the seat of an
Speaker 1: enemy empire. He would have been welcome to build an
Speaker 1: army to destroy not just his enemies, but all of Rome.
Speaker 1: I'm sure that he would have too, because it seems
Speaker 1: like he was just into destruction. So there's another thing
Speaker 1: going on here. We mentioned earlier that Nero really seemed
Speaker 1: to enjoy his torture of Christians, and Christianity was still
Speaker 1: new in the first century, and among the Christians who
Speaker 1: suffered terrible religious persecution under his rule, it was believed
Speaker 1: Nero was the personification of the Antichrist, as described in
Speaker 1: the Book of Revelations in the New Testament of the
Speaker 1: Christian Bible. They believed for centuries, and I believe I
Speaker 1: read it was into the fifth century, maybe the sixth century.
Speaker 1: It was a two hundred years that Nero would return
Speaker 1: to destroy Christianity. Today, scholars find it debatable whether Emperor
Speaker 1: Nero was ever portrayed or in some way characterized in
Speaker 1: the Bible, and they typically agree that the description of
Speaker 1: the Antichrist in Revelations thirteen is really not similar enough
Speaker 1: to Nero's legacy to prove or suggest anything. Nero impostors
Speaker 1: began to appear just a month or two after his death,
Speaker 1: and continued until the reign of Emperor Demisian began. The
Speaker 1: first of the men, known as a pseudo Nero, appeared
Speaker 1: in sixty We don't know his name, but what we
Speaker 1: do know is that he appeared in what is modern
Speaker 1: day Greece. It's speculated by some historians that this first
Speaker 1: impostor decided to appear in Greece based on a trip
Speaker 1: that Nero had taken a few years prior. It is
Speaker 1: said that Nero absolutely loved Greece, which was then part
Speaker 1: of Imperial Rome, and he took part in several Greek festivals.
Speaker 1: The year that he visited, he took home a rumored
Speaker 1: eight hundred eight breaths of victory for his artistic presentations. Listen,
Speaker 1: I'm creative. That's a lot to churn out. He should
Speaker 1: be very proud. Nero also competed in the chariot races,
Speaker 1: which he also won, even though he fell from his chariot.
Speaker 1: Nero wins. Nero always wins. But does the fake Nero win?
Speaker 1: It's hard to know. The historian Tacitus wrote that this
Speaker 1: first fake Nero could have been an enslaved person from
Speaker 1: Pontus which is located in what's modern day Eastern Black
Speaker 1: Sea region of Turkey or Tacit is considered the man
Speaker 1: may have been a freedman from Italy. In other writings,
Speaker 1: because the first pseudo Nero appeared in Greece, he attributed
Speaker 1: the whole impostor problem too, and I'm going to quote
Speaker 1: him the gullibility of the Greeks got to get a
Speaker 1: jab in. I know common Tacitus and Tacitus had more
Speaker 1: to say about the not Nero. It is through Tacitus
Speaker 1: that we know this fake Nero was appealing to Roman
Speaker 1: soldiers to become part of his own growing armed forces,
Speaker 1: and Tacitus was onto something. The first pseudo Nero was
Speaker 1: able to convince a group of army deserters to join
Speaker 1: up with him, believing that he was the real Nero,
Speaker 1: and this group set sail, and then this pseudo Nero
Speaker 1: began his career in piracy. The pseudo Nero's motley group, actually, though,
Speaker 1: was blown by a storm to an island off the
Speaker 1: coast of modern day Greece. It's here where his crew
Speaker 1: first began acting like pirates. They stole from businesses, they
Speaker 1: even stole from other pirate crews. They were known for
Speaker 1: kidnapping the locals. The Romans benefited from piracy during the
Speaker 1: first century, though from a Nero impostor or otherwise, so
Speaker 1: this actually wasn't a bad plan for our Not Nero
Speaker 1: pirates supplied the empire with all kinds of things, but
Speaker 1: mostly people they had kidnapped and enslave. During this time,
Speaker 1: piracy spread through the Mediterranean and that became a problem
Speaker 1: for a lot of reasons, but mainly because pirate ships
Speaker 1: made waterways hard or even impossible to navigate, and that
Speaker 1: caused a stop or slow in trade. And because of
Speaker 1: the pirates proclivity to steal, then supplies grew scarce. And
Speaker 1: I feel like I just came full circle here. But
Speaker 1: hires the in the Mediterranean, it's a self perpetuating system.
Speaker 1: According to records of naval captains at the time, it
Speaker 1: was Roman senator Lucius a Supernus who finally ended this ruse.
Speaker 1: He ordered his soldiers to storm the ship and kill
Speaker 1: the pseudo Nero, and when the impostor was apprehended, he
Speaker 1: was beheaded. The first pseudo Nero, though never broke character
Speaker 1: and never stopped using the name Nero. I couldn't find this,
Speaker 1: but I hope that he used the name pirate Nero
Speaker 1: instead of emperor in this particular situation, but I will
Speaker 1: never know, so we have to wait like ten years
Speaker 1: for the second notable Nero imposter to come on the scene.
Speaker 1: The second pseudo Nero appeared during the reign of Titus,
Speaker 1: who was emperor from seventy nine to eighty one, and
Speaker 1: this not Nero was a man named Tarenthius Maximus, who
Speaker 1: was a Roman citizen. Almost certain that was the case,
Speaker 1: a few things in Tarentius's story get a little jumbled
Speaker 1: with time, though. He is, although infrequently, described as resembling
Speaker 1: an Asian man, so this would mean Central Asian in
Speaker 1: this case. It's written that some of his first supporters
Speaker 1: were from Asian regions, and the Roman Empire extended into
Speaker 1: Asian regions at this point. Specifically, we're talking about the
Speaker 1: area that was once called Asia Minor and is now
Speaker 1: modern day Turkey. It's written he resembled Nero in appearance
Speaker 1: that at least a bit, and perhaps a bit in
Speaker 1: his manner of speaking too, and as the pretend emperor
Speaker 1: he as Nero was known to do, also sang and
Speaker 1: enjoyed playing the lyre, which is basically a small U
Speaker 1: shaped harp, although they still the time period. He was
Speaker 1: probably playing the satara, which is a heavy wooden instrument
Speaker 1: with four to like seven strings, and it's really similar
Speaker 1: to the liar. Aside from playing music, Tarentius had big
Speaker 1: plans as a second pseudo Nero. Tarentius is a pretender
Speaker 1: who did have real followers, and quite a lot of them,
Speaker 1: actually spreading across the Euphrates to Parthia. His followers grew
Speaker 1: large enough that he actually led a rebellion, but that
Speaker 1: was quickly suppressed by Titus's forces. Ultimately, he was given
Speaker 1: refuge by Roman rival are Tobanus, the third of Parthia,
Speaker 1: but he was executed when his true identity was revealed.
Speaker 1: And here we are with our third and final impostor.
Speaker 1: The third pseudo Nero appeared twenty yet twenty years after
Speaker 1: the real nero is death. He maybe twenty years closer
Speaker 1: to modern times, but we know the least about this
Speaker 1: fake Nero. He arrived on the scene during the reign
Speaker 1: of Misian, the Roman emperor from eight one to ninety six.
Speaker 1: He was actually just chiefly known for his reign of terror.
Speaker 1: This not Nero was from Parthia and was backed by
Speaker 1: the Parthians and the leaders of the Parthian Empire. The
Speaker 1: Empire was a major political and cultural power in ancient
Speaker 1: Iran between two hundred forty seven b c. Two e.
Speaker 1: The Parthian Empire and the Romans, first as the Roman
Speaker 1: Republic and then as the Roman Empire ward for if
Speaker 1: itally it all up roughly seven hundred years. The Parthian
Speaker 1: Empire stood in the way of the Roman Empire's desire
Speaker 1: for eastern expansion, but that dynasty was a superpower in
Speaker 1: its own right. The Empire stretched from the Mediterranean to India,
Speaker 1: roughly the region located in northeastern Iran today. They didn't
Speaker 1: just fight and win battles against Rome. They were also
Speaker 1: successful at their commercial endeavors. Among other things, they acted
Speaker 1: as intermediaries between Chinese growers and Roman manufacturers on law
Speaker 1: the Silk Road. So the third fake Nero was successfully
Speaker 1: able to convince a large number of people throughout both
Speaker 1: the Parthian and Roman empires that he was actually Nero returned. Remember,
Speaker 1: a lot of them believed this prophecy. They were ready
Speaker 1: for a Nero to show up exactly ultimately as the
Speaker 1: other pseudo Neros. This Nero too disappeared by execution, possibly
Speaker 1: as he was a party in pretending to be a Roman.
Speaker 1: But here's the sort of disappointing part. History doesn't leave
Speaker 1: us that answer. We don't know what actually happened to him.
Speaker 1: It's like a choose your inn adventure. You can make
Speaker 1: it up yourself, which reminds me that sometimes you make
Speaker 1: choose your own adventure. Cocktails and mocktails, and you probably
Speaker 1: don't have one today, but I would love to hear
Speaker 1: about what you do have. I hear there's more than one.
Speaker 1: There's more than one because there's a chooser and adventure
Speaker 1: sort of, but not for the mock tail. The mocktail
Speaker 1: is very simple. Here is where I started thinking about
Speaker 1: what we would do as a doneiro, which is what
Speaker 1: I'm just going to call this one because I really
Speaker 1: love that phrase. Recently, on another podcast, I Do Stuff
Speaker 1: You Missed in History Class, we talked about dire Coquinadia,
Speaker 1: which is the first known cookbook and its recipes from
Speaker 1: the first to the fourth centuries that were combined by
Speaker 1: someone possibly named a pick Us in the early you
Speaker 1: know stages of our history. Anyway, the pick U says
Speaker 1: it's known has some good recipes for drinks, and so
Speaker 1: I went to it first. There are a couple of
Speaker 1: recipes it has, and I want to get credit for
Speaker 1: not doing the path and easy to predict for me
Speaker 1: thing but I wanted to which is rose wine. This
Speaker 1: is not the drink for today, but if you're curious,
Speaker 1: it involves like collecting fresh rose petals and then you
Speaker 1: steep them in wine for like seven days, and then
Speaker 1: you strain it and you steep it for another seven
Speaker 1: days and it I didn't have twenty one days to
Speaker 1: do the whole process. But also has a recipe for
Speaker 1: violet wine, and that sounded yummy and delicious, and again
Speaker 1: I didn't feel like steeping flowers in wine. But I
Speaker 1: have a workaround that makes it quick and easy, and
Speaker 1: that is violet syrup. And if you have never had this,
Speaker 1: it is a majestic addition to your kitchen. You will
Speaker 1: start putting it in everything. It goes great on everything
Speaker 1: from ice cream into ginger ales into like even some
Speaker 1: teas mixed with a violet syrup are very beautiful. I
Speaker 1: just love it. So for the mocktail pseudo neuro, you're
Speaker 1: going to start with three quarters of an ounce of
Speaker 1: violet syrup. I didn't go more than that because that
Speaker 1: is another syrup that will really start to overwhelm. And
Speaker 1: as I like to say, drive the bus, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get flower tastes with three quarters of an ounce, I
Speaker 1: promise you, and then throw that in a glass with ice,
Speaker 1: add about five ounces of cranberry juice. I like to
Speaker 1: go with a low sugar cranberry juice because the violet
Speaker 1: syrup tends to be very sweet. Um, so a low
Speaker 1: or no sugar added is a great option here. And
Speaker 1: then a splash of lime juice just to balance that
Speaker 1: all out. And then you can garnish it with a
Speaker 1: lime wedge if you want, or a violet if you
Speaker 1: have one on hand. And it's just very refreshing and
Speaker 1: beautiful and you get that lovely, lovely floral flavor. But
Speaker 1: also you know, the cranberry adds its own element to
Speaker 1: it and it's very very yummy. So that is the
Speaker 1: pseudo nero. Um. There are two alcoholic options. One is
Speaker 1: very simple, it's basically this exact recipe that we did
Speaker 1: in the mocktail. And then you're just gonna add one
Speaker 1: to one point five ounces of a vodka. I know,
Speaker 1: that's predictable. But this at this point, you have a
Speaker 1: floral vodka cranberry, right like, which is a fun way
Speaker 1: to twist up a vodka cran and make it a
Speaker 1: little bit something special. Also, you know it. You can
Speaker 1: vary the amount in any of these of spirit that
Speaker 1: you add depending on on how strong you want to
Speaker 1: drink to be. Remember, one point five ounces is about
Speaker 1: as high as you want to go by most bartending
Speaker 1: regulation and standards, drink responsibly. The other alcoholic option, though,
Speaker 1: is a little bit different and more involved, because as
Speaker 1: you remember, this whole thing started thinking about wine, it's
Speaker 1: a very common drink in Rome. They often drank water
Speaker 1: down wine like people. It's kind of that thing where
Speaker 1: people are like, oh, they drink all the time. Well
Speaker 1: it was kind of watered down. It was like they're
Speaker 1: they're standard bevrage as I like to say, to be silly.
Speaker 1: So this one is gonna have very similar DNA, but
Speaker 1: it starts instead with three ounces of ruby ports. And
Speaker 1: I like this because you can put a ruby port
Speaker 1: over a little bit of ice. It's fine. It doesn't
Speaker 1: follow those don't involve ice rules that that some wines
Speaker 1: will um. And I would add to that one point
Speaker 1: five ounces of that low sugar cranberry juice because it
Speaker 1: brightens it up. The ruby port is very heavy. Naturally,
Speaker 1: you're gonna also do your three quarters of an ounce
Speaker 1: of violet syrup in your splash of lime, garnish it
Speaker 1: with the violet or a lime whichever you prefer. To
Speaker 1: give it a little stir before you put the garnish it.
Speaker 1: It is so shockingly yummy. It is much heavier because
Speaker 1: that port is just naturally going to be heavier, but
Speaker 1: it's a very fun one. You can pretend you're a
Speaker 1: modern Roman, I guess, and you can be like, oh, yes,
Speaker 1: I I'm practically cooking from a picky use. I'm fancy really,
Speaker 1: which is you know the street cred that you want
Speaker 1: to throw out at a party use? Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: Some people do, and that's fabulous. But those are your options.
Speaker 1: So it also I kind of wanted to do three
Speaker 1: separate options for the three pseudo neuros, so I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you did. I bet they appreciate that. Whether you
Speaker 1: are a drinker or no, whether you want to go
Speaker 1: a little harder in flavor with the port or keep
Speaker 1: it a softer, summery vodka cran with a flower flavor.
Speaker 1: You have all the options you can imagine, and I
Speaker 1: hope one of those delights you and you enjoy it
Speaker 1: and it adds to your We're now kind of middle
Speaker 1: to end of summer at this point, everyone could use
Speaker 1: a refreshing libation. Yes, thank you for spending some more
Speaker 1: time with us this week. We feel so lucky every
Speaker 1: time you do. And we will be right back here
Speaker 1: next week with some more Criminalia. Criminalia is a production
Speaker 1: of Shonda land Audio in partnership with I heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from Shonda land Audio, please visit the
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows,