WEBVTT - Ep. 111 — Saving For Retirement vs. Paying Off Debt 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:23.440 Hey, hey, hey, oh child. So it's about the snow 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:26.200 and I'm supposed to fly out tomorrow to LA and 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:29.040 I'm praying that my flight is my canceled. How are you? 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:32.519 I thought I escaped that crap. I'm down south. I 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:35.320 came to Charlotte for work and they're all losing their 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:37.040 minds because they're going to get like a quarter inch 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:37.480 of snow. 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:40.440 Oh that's so cute. Oh sidebar. Welcome to brown Abish 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:43.839 and listeners, because as I wonder, I mean, I know 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:46.560 you clicked the brown Ambition button, but I always think 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:48.720 I feel like we should be like, Hi, my name's 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.920 Tiffany and this is Mandy. 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:56.400 We can do that. Hi, my name's Mendy. 0:00:58.200 --> 0:00:58.760 Choke myself. 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:02.720 I changed my last name on Facebook. You did, and 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.200 not a damn person noticed. 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.480 Can I emit something terrible? You know, we still have 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:10.280 to go pick up our license. I was like, one 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:11.320 of us have to go get it? 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:12.200 Wait, pick it up? 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:17.120 Yeah, yeah, I know, we're like the worst. And meanwhile, 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:19.240 it's not like we got married in Zimbabwe. We got 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:21.959 married in the city where we live, and city Hall 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:24.840 is just a hop skipping to jump away and I 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:27.600 always forget Yeah, I. 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:32.000 Mean, you know those little like, uh technicalities, those little formalities. 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.640 I doesn't matter when you're yelling at someone about their 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:38.679 socks being on the floor, that's real marriage. Don't tell 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:40.720 me we're not married exactly. 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:44.559 I've been such a bad wife lately, but I've definitely 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:46.240 turned it around. Me Will also only been two days 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.720 to turn around. But he was like, so, like, are 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:51.760 you never going to help out around the house anymore? 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.400 Because it's just been so crazy, And so I finally 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:57.720 was like, I gave myself three specific chores. So we 0:01:57.800 --> 0:01:59.920 agreed upon it. As long as I do these three chores, 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:03.880 he's gonna lay off my back. And my choices are dinner, 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.040 because I actually enjoy cooking dinner. It's just that if 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.560 I don't pre plan, I'm the one at five o'clock, 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:11.280 like I should have took out the chicken, like what 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:15.960 are we gonna eat dinner? Grocery shopping, which when I 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:19.119 say I hate grocery shopping, When I say I hate 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:21.880 grocery shopping, I hate grocery shopping. I just went and 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:23.720 I thought I was gonna cry. I was like, this 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:26.800 is the worst experience of my life. But I'm gonna 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:29.000 learn how to use Instacart because I'm not going back 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:31.760 out there. And then the third choy is laundry, which 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:33.600 I have found a great laundry surface. Even though we 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.600 have a washer dryer, I don't have time, so I 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:38.440 drop it off and I pick it up, and I 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:40.680 take the money from our household, like we have a 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:43.480 household built Bill's account, and that's why same place I 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:46.040 take the grocery shopping money. So as long as I 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.520 do those three things, I don't have to worry about dishes. 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:51.320 He's like a mopper. I've never really been like like 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:53.480 I'll sweep and like, you know, i'll spot mop. But 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.880 I've never been like a mopper. And I'm like a whatever, 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:58.880 you can do that. And then like he does like 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:02.800 most of the cleaning. So we've reached the we've reached 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:06.000 a happy, happy space because it was not there. I was. 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:09.040 I really wasn't pulling my my weight at the house. 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:12.240 Honestly, it's living together is I mean, it's it's like 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.760 any other roommate, like you really can't take too much 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:18.480 advantage of your partner. I mean, I'm much more relaxed 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:22.240 about it easier because you can like talk about you know, 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:25.519 you're not shy about You're not there's no politeness. It's like, really, 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:28.080 your socks are here again, Why why are they laid 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.400 out so neatly as if you're just going to pick 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:32.520 up those dirty socks your sweaty feet have been in 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:33.840 all day and put them back. 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:37.960 On im from the hamper. I literally am the worst. 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:39.960 Like I sometimes take a step back and I'm like, 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.520 would you would you stand for this? Tiffany she was? 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:44.240 I would not, And I'm always like I just look 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:47.680 at him, like I apologize, sir, I will do better 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.400 because he's like, you know, between you and Supergirl, it's like, 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.160 you know, I'm the adult. I got two big old 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:53.960 babies in the house. 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:56.880 Hey, girls are messy. 0:03:57.360 --> 0:04:00.160 We are me and Supergirl. So let me just look 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:03.320 at each other. And I'm like, yeah, we're terrible. And 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:05.360 I'm like me, why she's eleven, so she's allowed. 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:07.040 But that's the age. 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:09.040 This is like free labor. This is what you're supposed 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.480 to do with your like free adolescence. Just like teach 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.280 them the beauty of hard labor. You know what, it's 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:17.159 a lie though you don't really grow out of like this. 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:19.039 I'm the same person I am when it comes to 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:20.800 cleaning that I was when I was like twelve, Like 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.159 I still don't make the bed yep, I'm still terrible 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.920 about folding my laundry. I mean that's the big fight. Now. 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:28.200 Now we have a beautiful washer dryer, which is like 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.200 a big deal for those of you who live in 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:33.560 other places besides New York to have your own washer dryer. 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:36.679 I just treat it like my closet, like an extension 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.200 of my closet the dryer, you know, like, oh, let's 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:40.920 just I'll go find some socks or in the dryer. 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:44.600 Why bother folding them. I'm just gonna use them this week. 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:47.000 I know what's in there. It's my workout clothes. So 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:48.960 I'll just get a pair of workout clothes a day. 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:51.280 Doesn't work. 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:54.840 But uh yeah. It's also like, I mean people think 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:56.680 that money is what you argue about. It's like those 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:59.160 simple things. It's like division of labor and labor is 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:01.120 time is money. 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:03.800 It is the vision of labor. And I'm the worst 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:06.440 because I'm like, do you know, like I could totally 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:08.719 write a proposal in the hour that you're asking me to. 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:11.919 Like he's looking at me like he finally had to say, 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:13.720 you know, I don't work for you, right, I'm not. 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:15.919 I'm not part of the unicorn squad or whatever you 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.600 call your your team. I don't know. That's not how 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:22.400 this works. And I'm like, Okay, you're. 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:24.440 The boss at work, but we're co managers are at home. 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:26.839 He exactly. So I mean, but I'm learning, and I 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.400 feel much better because today dinner was done. We had 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.599 vegan tacos, which you know, that's what was holding up 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:36.640 dinner too, because I wasn't really I was. The whole 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.000 vegan thing kind of threw off my like, well, how 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:40.200 do I make dinner now? You know? 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:42.159 But stuff? 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:45.880 Yeah, and so we had vegan tacos which were delicious 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.040 and yeah. So now I'm feeling back at a groove. 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:51.040 Like I said, I want food chopping, which I'm not. 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.839 See this is the thing. I don't mind running into 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:56.680 like Whole Food to grab a few things, but full blown, 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.720 like big mama food chopping. I hate that. So I'm 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:02.800 gonna figure out a plan for that. You do, I. 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:06.480 Do, It's not for me. I feel like maybe I 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:08.920 spend more money when I definitely spend more money when 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:11.520 I give myself more time, Like they've shown you know 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.560 the idea that you know, they say, bring a list 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.520 and do all your shopping and meal preps for the week. 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:17.920 But I think people have found that you actually spend 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:19.719 money and you're more likely to like waste food if 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.480 you do those big shopping runs. Next it's better to 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:24.720 shop as you need it. But like reality is, a 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:26.480 lot of people don't have time to go every day 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:28.359 when they need something, or they don't live like in 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:29.880 New York where you have a key food on your 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:32.040 way to the train, or like you can just pop 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:35.240 into the corner store and grab something. But I know 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:37.440 I love going. Like when I shop, I don't even 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:39.440 bring husby. I'm like, you're gonna stay at home. I 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:42.080 need my two hours. And I like to go up 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:46.640 and down every single aisle and read every package and 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:50.159 every price tag, read the unit price, compare things, just 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:52.120 see what's new. I like to see if there's a 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:54.359 new type of produce this week. I tried a pumelo. 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:55.800 I never tried that before. 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:57.839 I did see that produce out, but I was like, 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:01.000 I delicious. It's the opposite. I kept thinking to myself, 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:04.279 is how inefficient you go into the store put things 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:06.720 in the cart, just to take them out of the cart, 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:08.400 to put them on the conveyor belt, to put them 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:10.600 back in the cart, to take them out of the 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.320 cart and put them in the car, to take them 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:14.360 out of the car and put them in the kitchen, 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:16.080 and to take them out of the kitchen and put 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:18.440 them in the cabinet. There's so much in out it. 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:21.320 I said, oh no, no, no, no. Like honestly, I didn't 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:23.960 even realize my face like why my dad would say, 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:26.680 why do you look so morose and melancholy? I didn't 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:29.240 realize my face looked miserable. When I would come back 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:31.840 home and I always call Superman like okay, I'm like 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:33.640 two minutes away. That means come out and help me. 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:35.480 So he was helping me in with the grocery and 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:37.680 he's like, what's wrong with you? I'm like what he said, Yo, 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.640 your face looks like yo, somebody killed the dog and 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:42.840 we don't have a dog. And I'm like, it's because 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:47.720 grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping, so I'm gonna try instacart. 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:48.640 But also like. 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:52.400 I don't know, no, I think instacart is like when 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:54.680 someone goes grocery shopping for you it's like Uber for 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.520 grocery shopping from what I understand. But then also there 0:07:57.520 --> 0:08:00.280 are different grocery stores that have like you can order 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:02.240 online and they'll like bring it to you. I'm I 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:04.640 don't the cost does not matter. When I say the 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.200 cost doesn't matter, I shall pay. What do you what's 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:10.600 the search arge? It's yours, happily, So I will dance 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:12.720 for that extra fifty or hundred. I don't care what 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:13.480 it is. I'm paying it. 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:15.600 Oh, I bet I bet someone like me. I bet 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.680 I would save money that way if you take me 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:20.200 out of the equation me grabbing. Oh, I'm gonna try 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:23.080 this this week, or you know, buying. I bought three mustards, 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:25.960 like what I looked at my cabinet. I have three 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.960 mustards and one in the fridge. What is happening? I'm 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:30.440 turning into like an old lady. But no, I bet 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.680 I would save a lot of money using one of those. 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:35.400 So I'm gonna I'm gonna see. I'm gonna let you 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:35.840 need to. 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:38.520 Let our steam or you just need some space, No, 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:42.880 that's nap time. I need a big house like the 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:44.640 only I have. When I escape, I go to the 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:45.280 grocery store. 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:49.640 Bad so I went to the doctor today. My surgery 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:53.880 is next week. I'm nervous. Oh you do like that? 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:56.400 There's a I guess they call it pre op. So 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:58.400 that's like, you know, the week before they take your 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:02.240 blood blood pressure, and basically it's you sit down with 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:03.720 the doctor and they just talk about this is how 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:07.400 the surgery is going to go and so yeah, so 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:09.720 basically it's like I said, it's so for those of 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.920 you who don't know, I'm getting fiboid surgery to get 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:16.400 rid of especially one particularly large fiboard, because I want 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:18.120 to be able to have kids, and with this fibroid, 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:21.560 I'm not going to be able to, at least not successfully. 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:26.920 So fibroids are like this fleshy like tumor, like like 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:29.760 I guess ball kind of that can grow in women's 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.960 inside or out on the outside perimeter of their uterus, 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:36.480 and depending on how big or how small, it can 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:39.200 prevent women from having kids. A lot of women will 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:41.079 get fiboids after having kids, so they'll just kind of 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.480 leave them, but they can lead to heavy periods and 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:46.640 like pain, and mine weren't really causing any of those. 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:48.520 It was just why are we not getting pregnant? And 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:51.720 then it was like, oh, you've got this giant fiboid 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:53.440 the sides of a four month old baby inside you. 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:59.320 I was like, oh, well that would explain it, so yes, 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.439 and so like, So typically a woman's uterus is like 0:10:02.440 --> 0:10:04.800 the size of a pair, so not very big. My 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:09.040 fibroid is the size of a grapefruit. So so because 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:12.240 your your uterus grows as the baby grows, so so 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.080 it's you know, my uterus has grown to accommodate this 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:20.160 grapefruit size fleshy thing, which I'm like, yo, that's so freak. 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:25.240 I know, I'm sorry, but it's so freaking and crazy 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:27.480 and I'm like, yikes. And so she's like, yeah, we're 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.880 just gonna go in. Because there's two types of surgeries. 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:31.600 You can have the one where it's like a laser 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.559 they kind of go in, and then there's one where 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.080 they actually like like almost like you're having a sea section, 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:38.160 like you know, you open yourself up and take out 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:41.280 a baby, but this time a fibroid. And I asked her, well, 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:43.800 because a lot of people were like, why not the laser, 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:45.440 And I asked her, why not the laser? She said, 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:47.760 because mine is so large. She said, there's a certain 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:51.520 finesse about basically because one of my fibroid is not 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:53.840 on the outside of the uterus, which I could still 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.960 have the baby if if if it was it's on 0:10:57.040 --> 0:11:01.320 the inside, So that means that she wants to really 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:04.840 finesse taking it out and putting my uterus back together. 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:08.400 And with the laser, she it's not as she doesn't 0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:10.200 have as much control. So she was like, you know, 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:11.960 if you were older and you're like, girl, I have 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.280 two kids, She's like, it would be different. But you know, 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.280 the purpose of the surgery is to make sure that 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:18.760 we're putting you back together so you can have kids, 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:21.280 and so woo woo. She was like, you know, she's 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:22.920 pretty confident that I should be able to get pregnant 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:24.520 pretty quickly. I told her I wanted to try in 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.040 vitro yeah after and she was like, well, why don't 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.320 you guys try natural for a while, And I said, honestly, 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:34.120 I'm thirty eight man, so I think that, you know, 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.480 and because the thing about in vitro, it's not like 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:38.959 we can't do both. It's not like we can't try naturally, 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.640 but I kind of don't want to like wait six 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:43.679 months to a year you know, if I was thirty, 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:46.520 I probably would honestly, we would probably try six months 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:48.920 to a year naturally. But since I'm thirty eight and 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:50.800 I'm kind of like, yeah, I just want to get 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:52.400 this party started. I mean that's a. 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.920 Whole doing the research part of it. Yeah, it's immediate 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:56.920 with actors and stuff. 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:59.360 Yeah, so I'm gonna bell I'll be laid up for 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.760 about four weeks. Well that's not true. Are You're not 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:04.840 really supposed to leave the house for about four weeks, 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:06.640 but they which you're supposed to walk around and stuff 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.080 like that, So it's not like you're like in the 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.600 bed for like four weeks. You're just not supposed to 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:13.640 like travel and stuff like that. So I was so 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:15.640 basically my regular life, but except for more of an 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:19.400 excuse not to leave the house because I like never 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:20.959 leave the house. But I just kind of want to 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:22.880 give everybody an update. And I know some of you 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:25.319 guys have. So many people have hit me up and 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:28.360 they're like, I have fiboids. It's crazy, Mandy, how many 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:32.319 women are dealing with in their thirties, especially because I 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.520 guess that's when fiboids typically tend to kind of like 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:37.560 pop up if you're going to have them either in 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:38.800 your thirties or after you have your. 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:41.080 Kids, and when do you So you don't really detect 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.199 them as that, you know, when you have your normal checkup, 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.800 you know the doctor will push around and feel your 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:49.440 uterus and stuff. But is that how you discovered them 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:51.960 or was it really just like had you not been 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.280 finding them during normal checkups? Like I'm just wondering if 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.439 you wanted to stay on top of it, how you would. 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:58.440 Yeah, you know, I did it. I mean I'm trying 0:12:58.440 --> 0:12:59.839 to think like it had been a while since i'd 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.480 been into like, you know, my gynocologists, but i'd been 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:06.560 It wasn't like years. It happened only because I was like, hey, 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:09.080 you know I don't smoke, I don't drink, and you 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:12.240 know I exercise on occasion. Why are we not getting pregnant? 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:15.400 So it was that that was like, you know, it 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.560 was them looking to see like why are you not 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.440 getting pregnant? Is there something wrong? And so that's when 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:23.040 like the doctor was like, oh, you have fibroids, And 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:25.680 I was like, wait what she's you didn't know you 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.719 had fibroids? And I'm like, no, you know much. She's like, 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.040 one's the last time been to the doctor. It had 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:32.760 been maybe a year, I guess, but my normal annual checkup. 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:35.200 So I'm like, well, it hasn't been that long. And 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:39.440 she said, well, you're at the age where it's child bearing. 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:41.559 There's a hormone. I guess that. They're not really sure 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:44.920 where friboids come from, but she's like, it could have 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:46.920 grown in that time, and that's why you know, you 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.840 didn't You didn't know because I wasn't necessarily looking for it. 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.920 But yeah, I would just say that if you are, 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.000 one of the symptoms is heavy cramping and heavy periods. 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.719 But I wasn't even getting that, so you know, I 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:02.320 know to ask or to look, you know, but I 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.360 did notice that, Like I said, I had this little punch, 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:05.800 like even when I was working out, I'm like, why 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:07.719 is this little It wasn't a big belly, but this 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:09.440 little belly that I can't seem to get rid of. 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:11.760 It was basically the fibroids poking out, you know. 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:14.240 And is it hereditary? Like if you have a history 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:15.200 in your family. 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:18.920 I don't know, but they honestly don't know why. I mean, 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.080 in my family there is definitely a history, but the 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:25.840 truth of the matter is it's so common. I would say, 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.320 out of ten women that I've told, like my friends 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:30.160 that had fiveboids, four of them were like, oh yeah, 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:33.280 me too. Yeah, so it was I mean, of course 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.840 that's not some scientific study, but it was. It's so 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:41.360 much more normal than I ever knew that. You know 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:44.000 that so many women, especially my friends, in their thirties, 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.880 and I suspect, like I said that from what I'm 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:49.080 just doing a little bit of research finding out that 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:53.080 that's typically when they rear their heads, like in your thirties. 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:54.720 And the reason why I never really heard of it 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:57.240 is because I wasn't asking my friends in their twenties. 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:58.840 Plus we weren't trying to get pregnant for the most 0:14:58.840 --> 0:14:59.600 part in our twenties. 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:03.520 Yeah, that's true, but it's like you're not alone though, 0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.880 You're not alone among women who have like waited until 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:09.920 their mid to late thirties and maybe dealing with the 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:13.280 same things. So thanks for sharing it, and I hope 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:14.480 everything goes smoothly. 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.760 I know it's scary though, because I never had major surgery. 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:19.480 So when they talk to you, they're like, so, we're 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.280 gonna have like your blood on deck and I'm like, wait, 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:23.640 just in case you need a transfusion. 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:25.680 I'm like stacks on stacks on stacks, I. 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:28.760 Know, and just like little things that like, you know, 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.280 not little things, but like you know, its just I've 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:33.560 never had major surgery, so of course you're nervous. But 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.880 then part of me is like, well, a sea section, 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:39.480 which is basically what this is, is not uncommon. So it's 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:42.280 not like she's performing like like my husband had, you know, 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:45.480 the annualism brain surgery. I mean, that was like whoa, 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.080 But this is like, okay, Tiffany women have babies all 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:52.040 the time. Sea sections are done literally hundreds, if not thousands, 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.400 if now I'm sure tens of thousands of times a day. 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.560 So I mean it's not you know this like, oh 0:15:57.560 --> 0:15:59.480 my gosh, I've never done this before. And this doctor 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.400 has been doing the surgery for twenty years. She's come 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.600 highly recommended. And this was like my second I always 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:06.800 I encourage everyone to get a second opinion because some 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:10.080 doctors are a little bit surgery happy. So this is 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.320 my third opinion. But I liked her how she explained 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:17.440 everything to me, and yeah, she just her bedside manner 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:20.360 and her explanation of why she's choosing this method was 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.640 really you know, it's what made me choose her. Yeah. 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:26.960 Absolutely, co sign don't be afraid to doctor shop if 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.720 you have time, and it's like non urgent. Yeah, I 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:31.360 went do the same thing with my with getting on 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:35.120 my tooth, my tooth surgery tooth operation. I hesitate to 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:39.480 call it surgery procedure, but yeah, that stuff is stressful 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.400 and it's your body, so definitely, I just I just 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:44.240 I think I went to three dentists till I found 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:48.240 and I actually liked. But so, what your surgery is 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:50.120 next week? Are we gonna have a show next week 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.840 or what'll we hear from you after the surgery? What's 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:54.080 what's this good? Yeah? 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:55.800 So yeah, well we'll have a show next week because 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:57.960 it's before my surgery is not until Thursday and so, 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:01.480 and then after that we'll play it by ear. I mean, honestly, 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.040 from what she said, she's like, girl, you'll be walking 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:07.080 around like it's not literally the life that she described 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:08.920 that I can have like for the next three weeks. 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.800 I'm like, oh, so my normal life, she was like, 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:15.719 I was like, oh yeah, so basically sitting standing like 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:17.840 I don't go to the office, so I'm not gonna 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.439 lie because I hate putting on pants, so I'd rather 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:22.760 just be home, like you know, in my nighty doing work. 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:26.200 So it's just an excuse to live my normal life. 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:31.840 So I don't anticipate it. Yeah, like I know Superman 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:36.320 is like I didn't sign up for this. No, he's awesome. 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:38.199 Depends what kind of nighty it is I. 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:41.280 Had, you know, I just say, like I did go 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:44.720 to Target. Target actually had some really cute nightgowns that 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:47.520 are like that. You know, they don't because you don't 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:49.560 want to wear I'm not trying to wear neglige ade 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:51.800 just like on a Tuesday at three, although I'm sure 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:53.600 you would love that, but you know, you want a 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:56.680 nightgown that's cute but also like comfortable, and so I like, 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:57.840 in between. 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:00.719 The double X college T shirt, I had a skimpy 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:03.119