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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My sister and fiance can't stand each other. It's taking

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Speaker 2: a toll on my wedding.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be another another fifty cents for the toll

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Speaker 3: right there. Ooh bummer.

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Speaker 2: I think I should start with some background. My sister

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Speaker 2: and I are opposite in many ways. I'm very emotional.

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Speaker 3: She's not.

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Speaker 2: Ever since we were young, whenever we got into arguments,

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Speaker 2: we would always just walk away and come back later

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Speaker 2: as if nothing happened. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: deleted and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to our slash ookey Storytime supparate it. We never

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Speaker 2: really talked about the problem because when we did, she

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Speaker 2: would always get irritated that I wouldn't just let something go.

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Speaker 2: In fact, quite recently she has stated with much pride,

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Speaker 2: how we can always get angry at each other and

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Speaker 2: fight and just come back and put it all behind us.

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Speaker 2: This would be fine if I didn't get hurt so

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Speaker 2: often and so easily. I didn't think much of it

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Speaker 2: when I was younger, but now that I'm older, I'm

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Speaker 2: seeing how unhealthy it is to leave these conflicts unsettled.

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Speaker 2: She also has a very difficult time apologizing. Fast forward

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Speaker 2: to last summer. I've been dating my fiance for about

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Speaker 2: a year at the time, and I was living with

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Speaker 2: my sister. Meanwhile, she's been continuing her turbulent, harmful relationship

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Speaker 2: with her boyfriend of five years. Still is this particular

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Speaker 2: day I was with my boyfriend, Will call them Keith,

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Speaker 2: who lives about forty five minutes away from my sister.

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Speaker 2: Jim and I are hanging out and I get a

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Speaker 2: call from my sister's boyfriend. Will call my sister, Rebecca

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Speaker 2: and her boyfriend, Charlie. Charlie says that if my sister

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Speaker 2: wants to come get her laundry and her purse, it's

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Speaker 2: waiting outside for her. I'm confused, although this isn't the

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Speaker 2: first time he's wrote me into one of their fights.

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Speaker 4: So I called Rebecca.

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Speaker 2: Turns out they had gotten into an argument while driving

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Speaker 2: in Charlie's car. He pulled into a parking lot, told

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Speaker 2: her to get out, and drove off, leaving Rebecca in

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Speaker 2: a parking lot on a hot summer day with nothing

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Speaker 2: but her cell phone. She told me she could just

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Speaker 2: walk to her apartment, but ask for a ride to

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Speaker 2: her boyfriend's house. I told her I didn't mind, but

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Speaker 2: it would be a while since we were kind of far,

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Speaker 2: and she told us to take her time. This is

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Speaker 2: where I kind of messed up and interpreted this as

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Speaker 2: I'll call you later if I need you to come,

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Speaker 2: but I'm all right for the time being. I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have interpreted that is that way. I would have thought like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, no rush, but like I'm here waiting. So

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Speaker 2: a few hours pass and she starts texting me, I

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Speaker 2: haven't heard anything more, so I thought she had made

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Speaker 2: it safely to her apartment and all was sudden done.

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Speaker 2: She was just arguing with her boyfriend. I was kind

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Speaker 2: of worried, but it wasn't the first time they had

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Speaker 2: gotten into a big fight like this, so I left

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Speaker 2: them with their own devices. Turns out she had been

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Speaker 2: waiting on me and Keith to pick her up this

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Speaker 2: whole time. She was livid, called me crying, and Keith

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Speaker 2: and I left immediately. Right before we got out the door,

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Speaker 2: Charlie called me and told me I was a terrible

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Speaker 2: sister and how could I leave her waiting like that?

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Speaker 4: Then he hung up without.

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Speaker 2: Letting me talk. I think it's a little bit on you.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm wondering why she didn't text. But that

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Speaker 2: is a little bit on you, because why did you

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Speaker 2: interpret it that way?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. You have free will, Remember, folks,

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Speaker 3: we have free will. We can do things like make

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Speaker 3: phone calls or send tex miss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I felt like the crappiest human being in existence,

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Speaker 2: and of course, like the cry baby, I am started

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Speaker 2: well crying.

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Speaker 3: Heith was pissed.

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Speaker 2: The whole ride down we barely spoke. I had never

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Speaker 2: seen my boyfriend this mad in my life. We finally

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Speaker 2: got down there and went to Charlie's place. They weren't there,

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Speaker 2: so we went to Rebecca's place. They weren't there either.

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Speaker 2: We went back to Charlie's place one more time, and

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Speaker 2: lo and be old, the garage door was open. They

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Speaker 2: were just standing there as if nothing had happened. I

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Speaker 2: apologized to my sister about misinterpreting, but she of course didn't.

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Speaker 3: Didn't apologize what what didn't apologize to you for?

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Speaker 5: What?

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Speaker 3: For you not picking her up?

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Speaker 2: I'm confused what your sister would have to apologize for.

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Speaker 2: She got mad at you for a bit like not

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Speaker 2: showing up to pick her up.

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Speaker 3: Boy, we're getting two back to back a hole stories.

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Speaker 2: You're a little at the ale. Also, you're like, and

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Speaker 2: I cried, Okay.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, well did you get overwhelmed by the consequences.

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Speaker 3: Of your life?

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Speaker 2: You're not picking up your sister?

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Speaker 3: What's going on here? I said?

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Speaker 2: We had to talk about this later. I kind of

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Speaker 2: wanted to just leave because it seemed like everything was

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Speaker 2: about as normal as it was going to get, but

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Speaker 2: Keith was still incredibly pissed about how Charlie had treated me.

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Speaker 2: They started shouting at each other and we left in

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Speaker 2: a blaze, going back to my boyfriend's house. The next

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Speaker 2: few months, there was obviously a lot of tension between

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Speaker 2: all of us. I ended up moving out for school,

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Speaker 2: and Rebecca and I ended up getting into a huge argument.

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Speaker 2: I didn't talk to her for a few months, and

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Speaker 2: when we finally met up again, she just acted like

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Speaker 2: the whole thing never happened. Just like old times. We

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Speaker 2: had a gigantic fight and she wasn't willing to breebe

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Speaker 2: and bring it up. Well, I figured I didn't want

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Speaker 2: to cause any more problems. If I just brought it

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Speaker 2: all up again, she'd get angry and we'd just start

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Speaker 2: talking again. So I went with it. That was last November,

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Speaker 2: after my boyfriend proposed, and when I told my sister,

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Speaker 2: she replied with nothing but if you oh dang.

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Speaker 3: It seemed like a very chill response. It seems like

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Speaker 3: there's probably a lot of stuff beneath the surface. It

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Speaker 3: seems like she never Actually.

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Speaker 2: She does not like you. It seems like you guys

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Speaker 2: didn't talk about it, and she's still mad at you.

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Speaker 3: What else has happened? There's gotta be more.

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Speaker 4: What is coming on?

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Speaker 3: So much more context of this relationship.

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Speaker 2: Fast forward again to today. A few weeks ago, one

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Speaker 2: of my other sisters, her boyfriend, Rebecca Charlie, Keith, and

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Speaker 2: I went out to dinner and we were given gift cards.

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Speaker 2: Keith is a very quiet person and doesn't share a

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Speaker 2: lot of interest with other people in my family, so

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Speaker 2: he barely spoke. There was also a little mix up

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Speaker 2: with paying the bill, where he'd begrudgingly had to tell

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Speaker 2: everyone that he wasn't willing to pay extra if he

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Speaker 2: didn't have to.

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Speaker 3: What that's not about?

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Speaker 4: What he's like, I'm not paying for the drinks. I

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Speaker 4: didn't have your drinks.

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Speaker 6: Why would I have to split it evenly if I

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Speaker 6: didn't have any drinks.

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Speaker 3: He's probably pulling one of those.

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Speaker 2: Keith and I were careful about getting cheap stuff off

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Speaker 2: the menu. Well, Rebecca and Charlie splurged and Keith didn't

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Speaker 2: realize we were splitting the costs. Okay, I mean you

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Speaker 2: can bring it up. You can bring it up and

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Speaker 2: you know, because that's not fair if they were paying

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Speaker 2: a lot more and you're they're like, that's split.

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Speaker 4: And you're like, maybe I can order another meal to

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Speaker 4: go away.

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Speaker 2: Nobody mentioned anything until two weeks later, when Charlie texted

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Speaker 2: me literally out of nowhere that if Keith thought a

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Speaker 2: problem with the way the check was split up, then

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Speaker 2: he should have spoken up, don't agree, and then witch

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Speaker 2: out about it when the check comes. I was irritated,

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Speaker 2: but basically told him that if he had a problem

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Speaker 2: with my fiance and then he could talk to Keith himself.

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Speaker 2: He never answered. I ended up meeting with my sister

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Speaker 2: a couple weeks later and we talked about the text.

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Speaker 2: She basically said, look, I don't mean to be rude,

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Speaker 2: but your fiance is really quiet and doesn't seem to

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Speaker 2: be making an attempt to talk to us or get

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Speaker 2: to know us when we hang out. I think he

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Speaker 2: just feels obligated to be with us. I told Keith later,

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Speaker 2: and he basically said that was all true, because he

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Speaker 2: hadn't let what happened last summer go. I finally decided

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Speaker 2: that the only way we could all get over this

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Speaker 2: was if we all got together to talk about it.

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Speaker 2: I texted Rebecca and tried to tell her I wanted

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Speaker 2: all of us to meet together. He was completely useless.

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Speaker 2: She kept saying she didn't think it would help that

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Speaker 2: our suitors just had different personalities, et cetera. I told

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Speaker 2: her I wanted to give Keith a chance to explain

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Speaker 2: to her why he was uncomfortable around her and Charlie,

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Speaker 2: but she wasn't having it, so I just ended up

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Speaker 2: giving her his phone number he offered, and I doubt

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Speaker 2: she even saved it in her phone. I'm just super frustrated.

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like there's this huge barrier preventing Keith

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Speaker 2: from getting along with Rebecca or even me getting along

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Speaker 2: with my sister, and we could just easily talk it out.

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Speaker 2: She complains about his attitude, but when I tried to

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Speaker 2: give him an oportunity, I need to explain himself, he

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Speaker 2: just says, now he just needs to adjust his behavior.

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Speaker 2: He's still really upset over how Charlie treated me, how

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Speaker 2: Rebecca treated me, and even how Charlie treats Rebecca on

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Speaker 2: a regular basis. What happened over the summer is not

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Speaker 2: the full extent of what he's done to her, and

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Speaker 2: I imagine the only way they can continue their talks

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Speaker 2: of relationship is by doing just that, getting in arguments,

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Speaker 2: and then just him forget. So I have a few questions.

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Speaker 2: Where do I go from here? Is this my responsibility

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Speaker 2: to fix? Is it even worth getting tangled up in this?

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Speaker 2: Or should I just keep our relationship okay on the

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Speaker 2: surface like it has been for months. Again, there's no

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Speaker 2: way anyone on here can know the entirety of the story.

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Speaker 2: But this is the best of my recollection. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: isn't edit.

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Speaker 3: It's ope asking if it's her responsibility to fix her

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Speaker 3: boyfriend's ability to be friends with her family.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's your boyfriend's job.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he needs I feel like everyone's a little bit

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Speaker 2: the a hohole here.

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Speaker 7: I'm saying everyone's weird in this everyone's weird.

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Speaker 2: I mean we have op who misinterpreted, hey, can you

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Speaker 2: come pick me up? As I'll come like hours later

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Speaker 2: after you call me crying saying no one's here. And

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Speaker 2: then you have her boyfriend who yells at Opie's sister

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Speaker 2: for being mad that she wasn't picked up. And then

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Speaker 2: you have the sister who's like, I don't know, she's

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Speaker 2: like months later, not talking about her feelings, just glossing

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Speaker 2: over things, but also still making problems. We have the

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Speaker 2: boyfriend who is making weird things about the bill. It's

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Speaker 2: just like so many, so many weird things are going

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Speaker 2: on here.

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Speaker 3: Strangeness.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you guys are all avoidant, so.

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Speaker 3: I don't like any of it.

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Speaker 2: There is an edit and an update. My fiance's comment

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Speaker 2: below clarifies things a bit more. I was going between classes,

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Speaker 2: so I didn't type all the details. Also, if you

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Speaker 2: saw this earlier and it was gigantic, it's because I

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Speaker 2: was in Chapel and the Internet in Chapel, and I

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Speaker 2: was doing it on mobile, so I didn't realize it

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Speaker 2: would be giantic app till after I updated. So update. Well,

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Speaker 2: long story short, I'm pretty sure Rebecca is just not

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Speaker 2: going to be at my wedding at all. About a

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Speaker 2: week after my original post, I took most everyone's advice

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Speaker 2: and texted her that I wasn't comfortable with her being

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Speaker 2: my maid of honor because she doesn't respect my fiance

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Speaker 2: and the fact that both of us are getting married

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Speaker 2: to each other. She didn't answer me the whole day,

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Speaker 2: but instead decided to post a vote on Facebook that

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Speaker 2: said something along the lines of it's okay to be angry,

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Speaker 2: but it's never okay to be cruel. Later that evening,

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Speaker 2: Charlie texted me and accused Keith of being a little witch,

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Speaker 2: because if he has a problem with me, then he

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Speaker 2: should tell me instead of going through you or Rebecca.

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Speaker 3: He's doing the same thing. You're doing the same thing.

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Speaker 3: You're talking to Opie instead of talking to Keith.

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Speaker 2: Never mind the fact that he literally did the exact

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Speaker 2: same thing mere weeks ago, and he's doing it right now.

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Speaker 7: He's doing it right now, now they're becoming teddy. Now

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Speaker 7: they're becoming who could be the pettiest here?

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Speaker 1: Great?

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Speaker 2: Well, it was clear that she still didn't see a

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Speaker 2: problem with her behavior. I waited until the next morning

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Speaker 2: to text her again to see if she respond She didn't.

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Speaker 2: I texted her again and said, you know, the problem

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Speaker 2: isn't just between the boys, it's between the two of us.

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Speaker 2: I think there's some resentment built up, and I don't

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Speaker 2: really like the way we handle conflict. Something along those lines.

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Speaker 2: She sent me a text that said I was living

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Speaker 2: in a world of delusion and that's all I have

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Speaker 2: to say to you. So it was clear she wasn't

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Speaker 2: going to try to see things from my perspective. Ask

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Speaker 2: forward to this last weekend. I went to talk to

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Speaker 2: my parents. They live about a half an hour away,

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Speaker 2: and I offhand mentioned our conflict to them. My mom

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Speaker 2: then said that Rebecca had given her a message to

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Speaker 2: pass down to me. Rebecca never said that the two

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Speaker 2: of you shouldn't get married. I was immediately agitated because

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Speaker 2: I had never said she said that, just that she

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Speaker 2: doesn't respect Keith or our future marriage. I texted her

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Speaker 2: and said just that as well as I don't expect

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Speaker 2: you to be ecstatic, but maybe a little more support

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Speaker 2: than telling me to go f myself when I tell

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Speaker 2: you I'm engaged. I don't think it's too much to

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Speaker 2: ask that you aren't my maid of honor after you

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Speaker 2: reacted that way.

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Speaker 4: She blew up.

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Speaker 2: She justified her saying so because I had apparently lied

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Speaker 2: to people about her not talking to me, when it

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Speaker 2: was the other way around. She said, if you expect

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Speaker 2: me to say something nice to you after lying to everyone,

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Speaker 2: you are out of your mind. Rebecca then literally said

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Speaker 2: everything was my fault, not hers, that I needed to

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Speaker 2: stop playing the victim, and that she repeatedly tried to

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Speaker 2: fix things, but all I ever did was cry, blow

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Speaker 2: her off, or say I would try to change. I

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Speaker 2: pointed out that there was a period of time where

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Speaker 2: I had sent her a message and she didn't respond,

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Speaker 2: and that happened to be the time when I I

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Speaker 2: had talked to other people about our whole debacle. I

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Speaker 2: told her she can't use her anger to justify telling

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Speaker 2: me what she did, and that she literally did everything

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Speaker 2: but trying to fix things, posted on Facebook talk to

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Speaker 2: her boyfriend and my mom, when she could have easily

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Speaker 2: talked to me. She also never tries to fix anything anyway.

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Speaker 2: She tells me all the reasons I'm wrong and never

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Speaker 2: admits to anything being her fault and then expects me

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Speaker 2: to just be okay with it all. I said, this

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Speaker 2: was exactly what I had meant if I built up

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Speaker 2: resentment and finally ended with I never said I wasn't

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Speaker 2: at fault for anything. I just don't understand why you

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Speaker 2: think you're invulnerable to any kind of blame or criticism.

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Speaker 2: Rebecca started with you don't get it, You're never gonna

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Speaker 2: get it. She accused me of always turning everything around

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Speaker 2: on her and making it her fault when nothing was

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Speaker 2: that apparently several people don't approve of my fiance, which

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Speaker 2: I don't really care for because she's never got anyone's

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Speaker 2: approval when she started dating Charlie, that she's the only

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Speaker 2: one that has enough respect for me to say so

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Speaker 2: respect okay, sure, and that I've changed into a totally

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Speaker 2: different person since I've met Keith. The last thing she

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Speaker 2: sent me was I've fun at your wedding. By the way,

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Speaker 2: you can have fun listening to full episodes of stories

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Speaker 2: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or

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Speaker 2: I art radio and search a book story time, and

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Speaker 2: there is a little bit left to this story. But

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Speaker 2: do you have any final thoughts?

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Speaker 3: I think none of these To quote Kimberly Hawley, I

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Speaker 3: don't think any of these people should be allowed to

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Speaker 3: speak words or have social media.

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Speaker 2: I agree, you guys are all really bad at handling conflict.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: I haven't said anything else to her, and I don't

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Speaker 2: know if I really intend to. She obviously doesn't see

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Speaker 2: any fault in what she did and will never apologize

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Speaker 2: or change. Whenever I tell her that I don't like

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Speaker 2: something she's done, she tells me I need to stop

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Speaker 2: trying to change who she is. And then I'm being

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Speaker 2: two sads that I'm pretty sure I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: send her an invitation, and I'm talking to one of

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Speaker 2: my good friends later today to ask her to be

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Speaker 2: my maid of honor instead.

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Speaker 3: If she accepts, or.

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Speaker 2: Even if she doesn't, this wedding will be a lot

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Speaker 2: better without my sister's influence. And I blocked Charlie's calls

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Speaker 2: and texts. My close friend turned down the position. She

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Speaker 2: said she didn't want to feel like she had a

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Speaker 2: red target on her face and felt like it would

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Speaker 2: make for an awkward situation with my family. But I've

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Speaker 2: got a few other women I can ask, and I'm

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Speaker 2: not getting married for a while, so no rush. And

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Speaker 2: that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: Y'all need, like just to read a couple of books,

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Speaker 3: but read some books on communicatory or like, listen to

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Speaker 3: this show. Yeah, maybe maybe that'll help so.

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Speaker 2: We can say, hey, let me okay figure it out.

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Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: My vegan coworker keeps pushing our limits, so she got

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Speaker 1: reported to HR.

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Speaker 3: First you were vegan, now you will be gone.

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Speaker 1: I will always make that show, as the title states,

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Speaker 1: I have this vegan coworker will call her vegan who

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Speaker 1: is very active on Facebook and is in the office

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Speaker 1: about being vegan and how cool farming is and everything.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Throwaway a Vegan And

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Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own.

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Speaker 5: Stories, go to our sage Okay story time.

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Speaker 3: Subreddit and do it.

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Speaker 1: However, I have to re each to their own I

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily disagree with their views on animal cruelty.

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Speaker 5: But here's the thing. I'm a hunter.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I am also a hunter of sorts, not.

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Speaker 1: A trophy hunter, but I do shoot feral pigs, rabbit

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Speaker 1: ducks introduced classified game ducks and foxes, and I fish too.

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Speaker 1: Man is hunting everything?

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Speaker 4: God against foxes? My guy, what are we doing?

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Speaker 1: All except for the fish are classified as pests. Foxes,

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Speaker 1: especially on alive native wildlife and farm animals, and farmers

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Speaker 1: will often put you up on their property for free

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Speaker 1: to hunt them. I have past tests here, especially for

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Speaker 1: identification of game ducks versus protected species, and practice ethical hunting.

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Speaker 1: I EI allow the animal to have a fair chance

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Speaker 1: now dogs or tracking devices, practicing markmanship, and dispatching prey

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Speaker 1: swiftly and humanely, and not wasting the meat. None of

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Speaker 1: that is obviously good enough for vegans. When she first

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Speaker 1: came onto the team and told everyone she was a vegan,

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Speaker 1: I kept my mouth shut about my hunting. I also

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Speaker 1: think she's really intolerant because she preaches to people about

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Speaker 1: how going vegan will help with their various ailments and

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Speaker 1: always turns up her nose at people eating up meat

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Speaker 1: in a microwave. As a result, we've kind of consciously

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Speaker 1: started excluding her when we get up for lunch. However,

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Speaker 1: last year I started going hunting more regularly with a

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Speaker 1: work friend from another department whose uncle owns a farm

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Speaker 1: where feral pigs are like an issue, and he often

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Speaker 1: swings by to have a chat about guns, slash bows

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Speaker 1: and our next trip. And she found out I was

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Speaker 1: a hunter.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I bet she's not gonna have anything to say

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Speaker 3: about that. Gonna have nothing to say, no input.

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Speaker 1: This isn't even at our desk. It's in the kitchen

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Speaker 1: area that has tables and stuff. We sometimes eat a

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Speaker 1: lunch together. Ever since then, every conversation I've had with her,

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Speaker 1: she's referred to hunting and how cruel it is. One

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Speaker 1: time I wore a leather pencil skirt to work. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I was totally imagining Ope as a man. I guess

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Speaker 1: I was too. I was totally imagining OPI as a man,

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Speaker 1: and that's very sexist of us.

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Speaker 5: I don't out dare you to go to dare.

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Speaker 3: So imagining Op is just a blob.

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Speaker 1: I had no image, and she had to go at

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Speaker 1: me for wearing animal products. She seems to have singled

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Speaker 1: me out because of the fact that I go hunting.

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Speaker 1: My boss has no spine. I've tried talking to him

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Speaker 1: about this, but she just intimidates him and makes it

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Speaker 1: seem like she's being persecuted and he has to back

401
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Speaker 1: down from that. She even tried to get a vegan

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Speaker 1: shelf in the fridge and tried to rope in some

403
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Speaker 1: Hindu vegetarian guys to do that, but they pointed out

404
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Speaker 1: that they use milk and cheese and honey and they're cooking.

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Speaker 1: They also think she's nuts. It's gotten to the point

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Speaker 1: where we go out for drinks on a Friday night

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Speaker 1: at five and we never asked her, Well, if she's

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Speaker 1: such a buz kill, I can understand.

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Speaker 3: Right, it's like, Oh, we don't want to go out

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Speaker 3: with you because you're annoying to be around because all

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Speaker 3: you do is talk down at others. Yeah, a conversation

412
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Speaker 3: on this level. It's always on that level. You're going down.

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Speaker 3: Just talk to me like we are both people.

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Speaker 5: It's hard to do when you're better than everyone is

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Speaker 5: a vegan. Yeah, and you got those vegan superpowers.

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Speaker 1: Yeahstand I don't organize these things a coworker does. But

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Speaker 1: my boss told me when I brought it up in

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Speaker 1: one on one meeting that she feels really left out,

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Speaker 1: and she seems to think it's my fault because I've

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Speaker 1: been here for longer and I'm somehow poisoning them against

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Speaker 1: her or something. I just say I don't talk to

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Speaker 1: her unless it's work related, and she's more than adequate

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Speaker 1: at her job. It's actually become something of a joke

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Speaker 1: or catchphrase. I told my boss I don't organize anything

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Speaker 1: except official events, and she's always been invited. If she's

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Speaker 1: not invited to informal stuff, that's not even organized by me,

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Speaker 1: and that's not my problem. The co worker that doesn't

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Speaker 1: invite her, she managed to piss him off because he's

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Speaker 1: eaten guinea pig. He's from Peru, and she asked him

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Speaker 1: if he'd eaten any of his other pets too. For

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Speaker 1: the record, he never ate a guinea pig that was

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Speaker 1: a pet. It's something they eat in Peru, as the

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Speaker 1: Peruvians do. Whenever she brings up hunting or anything, I

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Speaker 1: just point blank ask her is there anything work related

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Speaker 1: that she wanted to talk about? And if there wasn't,

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Speaker 1: I would just start talking to someone else or just

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Speaker 1: walk off. I've asked her multiple times to keep conversations

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Speaker 1: work related. I never start a conversation with her at

439
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,879
Speaker 1: most of the time. She pounces when I'm in the

440
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:07,200
Speaker 1: kitchen making tea, getting water, or just stretching my legs.

441
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 1: One time last week, a group of us were talking

442
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,440
Speaker 1: and she got up to join the discussion. A horrible

443
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,119
Speaker 1: silence all over the group.

444
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:16,879
Speaker 5: You joined discussia.

445
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 3: Agost little silence the group.

446
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,760
Speaker 1: To the point where I just excused myself and went

447
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,959
Speaker 1: to my desk, and so did a few others. It

448
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 1: all came to a head in our team meeting today

449
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 1: when our boss usually at the end, asked if there's

450
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,880
Speaker 1: any positive news or celebrations outside of work people want

451
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 1: to share, like engagements, marathons, charity appeals, et cetera, and

452
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 1: vegan sar castlely asked me how many lives I'd taken

453
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 1: last weekend.

454
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 5: You're the worst. You're the worst.

455
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 1: You don't need to make your vegan tirade points at

456
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Speaker 1: every moment. I got annoyed and said her constant badgering

457
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,640
Speaker 1: about my hobbies and choice to eat meat was discriminatory

458
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 1: and bothers him, and then unless it was work related,

459
00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,199
Speaker 1: she was not to engage me in conversation otherwise, and

460
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 1: told our scribe to put that in the meeting notes.

461
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 5: She seemed a bit.

462
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 1: Shocked by that, and my boss looked uncomfortable but said

463
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 1: fair enough. I thought that was the end of that,

464
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 1: But then right before our boss went to close the meeting,

465
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,919
Speaker 1: two other coworkers put their hands up and asked Vegan

466
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:21,439
Speaker 1: to only engage them in work related discussions, and that

467
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 1: they were also uncomfortable being given non medical health advice

468
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 1: pertaining to their choice to consume meats and their diets. Again,

469
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 1: boss looked uncomfortable, but asked Vegan to respect their wishes

470
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,639
Speaker 1: and close the meeting. Vegan didn't look anyone in the

471
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 1: eye after that, but headed straight to the bathroom. I

472
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 1: bet you Vegan thinks she's like some kind of martyr.

473
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,399
Speaker 5: She's like, I'm just doing what's best for these animals.

474
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 3: I do understand, though it's a hard position to essentially

475
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 3: get called out by like your whole office group or

476
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 3: whatever like in a day.

477
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 1: My boss was trying to get onto the coworkers see

478
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 1: if she was okay, and I think one of them

479
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: eventually checked up on her, but she was in a

480
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,360
Speaker 1: cubicle and asked to be left alone. She eventually came

481
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 1: out and asked my boss to leave early, which she did.

482
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: I feel awful now. She embarrassed me in front of

483
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 1: my team with the lives taking comment, so I pushed back,

484
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 1: but I am caught between not wanting her to be

485
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,440
Speaker 1: miserable and not wanting anything to do with her at all.

486
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 1: A few of my coworkers and I ended up in

487
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 1: a proactive conference call after this with HR, who basically

488
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,200
Speaker 1: said they had always been subjected to unwanted advice and

489
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 1: jobs about eating meat and that was not okay, but

490
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 1: some mediation was in order to ensure we cut the

491
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,760
Speaker 1: tension in the workplace, which this should have been addressed

492
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 1: way earlier, like the tension had been building, and honestly,

493
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: that guy's a bad boss for not addressing it when

494
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 1: it was first brought up. The HR rep then called

495
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 1: my boss, who explained what happened in the team meeting

496
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 1: and complaints that we'd made one on one et cetera.

497
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 1: But then he went into a meeting room and didn't

498
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 1: hear the rest of the discussion. I don't know what

499
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 1: to do assuming she comes into work tomorrow, or if

500
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: I should even talk to her at all. There are

501
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 1: some comment but d Coat, what should op Dolly?

502
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 3: I think you're doing the right thing. It's just a HR.

503
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 3: This is an HR problem.

504
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,360
Speaker 1: Come on, chiming in as a vegan. Here we now

505
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 1: have the vegan perspective. She's being completely ridiculous.

506
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 5: She has now.

507
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 1: Created a hostile workplace for you and your coworkers. As

508
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 1: a vegan in the world, she cannot expect to never

509
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:22,719
Speaker 1: encounter meat eaters.

510
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 3: Right.

511
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: It's one thing to state your opinions. It is quite

512
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: another to brate your coworkers. If she didn't want to

513
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 1: work with meat eaters, she should choose a vegan company

514
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,479
Speaker 1: to work for. Do not engage her further. She has

515
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 1: been harassing you. This is her problem now. Another reply

516
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: from another vegan here. My random guess is that she's

517
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,679
Speaker 1: a relatively new vegan, still getting caught up in the

518
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: euphoric heavy evangelism phase some of us go through, and

519
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 1: hasn't yet learned a more nuanced vegan advocacy ethic.

520
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 5: She needs a wake up call.

521
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 1: This could be that moment from her, and I think

522
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 1: OP has handled it correctly so far. In another comment,

523
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 1: I know you are uncomfortable and feel good, but this

524
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: is essentially your boss's fault.

525
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 3: I agree.

526
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 5: The boss has not done crap.

527
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, the boss facilitating this environment is the boss has

528
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 3: done absolutely nothing behavior, not very cash, money of the

529
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 3: boss very stinky. You made a boundary request. You didn't

530
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 3: attack her as a person. You sided the behavior you

531
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,879
Speaker 3: wanted stopped, and that was all. He should have pulled

532
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,239
Speaker 3: her aside and said there had been complaints about her

533
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 3: pushing her views unsolicited onto other coworkers, and that it

534
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 3: was inappropriate, that she should consider this a verbal warning,

535
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 3: and the next time would be written, and the third

536
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 3: time would be termination. That is the boss's job.

537
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 1: He didn't do it, and now everyone else had to

538
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: confront her and make her feel bad. She brought this

539
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 1: on herself and your boss enabled it. It isn't your

540
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: responsibility to fix it. I hate hunting and was a

541
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 1: vegetarian for a long time. The situation isn't a belief problem,

542
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 1: it is a behavior problem. Comment three. I think before

543
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 1: we get into the updates, this is not on you.

544
00:22:58,359 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 1: You've done everything right. She has the freedom to maker

545
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: own choices, and the office respects her lifestyle choices. No

546
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: one is going to go up to her and demand

547
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 1: she start eating meat. It's her problem. She can't extend

548
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 1: the same courtesy to you and the rest of the office,

549
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: so let her face the consequences. Maybe this jarring event

550
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,959
Speaker 1: will slap her awake to what a knucklehead she's being.

551
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 3: If anything, it'll probably like galvanize her victim mentality.

552
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: We got an update that is the ultimate vegan right there.

553
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 1: And again, this is not all vegans. I think, as

554
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: one of the commentars said in your early veganism journey,

555
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: like you want to have this evangelism, like you're excited,

556
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,360
Speaker 1: you want to tell everyone, but often it's a misplaced

557
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: way to get people to support the vegan cause. But

558
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 1: we got an update. So the meeting happened on Friday.

559
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 1: HR lady was very much let's all get along type

560
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 1: and very enthusiastic and eager to mediate with buzzwords talk

561
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: about feelings. HR contacted me and I told them to

562
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: get Vegan's perspective first so that she wouldn't complain not

563
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 1: getting a chance to get her point of view. So

564
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,159
Speaker 1: Vegan boss HR had a meeting. I'm pretty sure Vegan

565
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: made it seem like she had been bullied, which is

566
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: pretty much what I was expecting. Then the rest of

567
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 1: us were called into a meeting with HR to give

568
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 1: our points of view. The coworker, who was a cancer

569
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 1: survivor had gotten progressively more annoyed at what happened after

570
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: the meeting with Vegan taking off, so I told her

571
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 1: she was welcome to take the lead in the meeting

572
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: because her issues could have had an actual health impact.

573
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: She took up most of the time actually talking about

574
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: how Vegan kept giving her unsolicited, medically unsubstantiate advice on

575
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: cancer treatment and prevention. An HR and boss started looking

576
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and concerned. A few other coworkers, like the one

577
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: with Celiac especially, also mentioned unsolicited advice. I think we're

578
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: getting to so territory with this.

579
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 3: Getting into your making me culturally.

580
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 7: I feel like everyone is just banding together.

581
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: Finally, Yeah, vegans or just one specific terrible vegan.

582
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

583
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: Then my Peruvian co worker brought up culture insensitivity. They're

584
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: hit on them with it all and the eating your

585
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: pets comment. And I didn't know Vegan said this to

586
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: the Hindu coworker, but apparently Vegan had told Hindu that

587
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: veganism would make him a better Hindu because it eliminated

588
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 1: all animal cruelty. A few people started laughing at this,

589
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: and one coworker joke that Vegan was like the Vegan Amway,

590
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 1: always selling something that nobody was interested in. So I

591
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: had been pretty quiet at this point. Nature asked me

592
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 1: why I had asked Vegan to only speak about work

593
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: related matters, and I told her I'm a hunter and

594
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 1: explain that I believe in ethical hunting and how it

595
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 1: benefited endangered species, et cetera.

596
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 5: But Vegan kept on calling it unliving.

597
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: Had to dig at me for my leather skirt, even

598
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: though other people here had leather shoes leather handbags, and

599
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: Hr injected that her filo facts was real leather. And

600
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: I told her that talking to Vegan was stressful and demoralizing,

601
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: and she'd refused to respect my back when I asked

602
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 1: her on other occasions to keep things work related.

603
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 5: All right, So now everyone's had their sides.

604
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 1: The Vegan has said I feel not included Opie, and

605
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 1: the others say, well, we're not including her because every

606
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 1: chance she gets, she literally tries to put her Vegan

607
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: perspective down our throats, saying we'res and you would be

608
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: a better Hindu if you did not eat.

609
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 5: Meats or dairy products, Vegan.

610
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: But the mediation began and Vegan was brought in and

611
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: other coworkers left. I basically said exactly what I'd said.

612
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: Before to Vegan with Hr and Boss there that I

613
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 1: respected her lifestyle and how passionate she was about making

614
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: a change, but I disagreed with her on certain points,

615
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 1: and even if she didn't agree with my lifestyle choices,

616
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: it was unfair of her to single me out or

617
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 1: harass me about them. Vegan said to her what I

618
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: was doing was morally unconscionable, and she didn't believe in

619
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: exploiting animals. I told her that her iPhone, her clothes,

620
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 1: her computer were all be a human exploitation, and the

621
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 1: keen while that she loves so much has affected local

622
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: income farmers in Bolivia. I then qualified. I told her

623
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: it was great that she had her thing to try

624
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: and improve the world, but also had a different perspective

625
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: and different issues that I was more passionate about, and

626
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: that I had respect her point of view and she

627
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: should try to respect mine. Vegan's response to all of

628
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: this was it's still unliving. HR looked annoyed at this

629
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 1: point and said that Vegan was not trying to find

630
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: a middle ground. So I turned to Hr and said

631
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: that this was why there was no middle ground, and

632
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: that's why I thought keeping things civil and work related

633
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: because in the end, we are here to do a job.

634
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: HR agreed, Boss agreed, I agreed, Vegan grudgingly agreed, and

635
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: HR wrote all this down and I had a mediation

636
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: meeting minutes saying all of this emailed to the four

637
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 1: of us. Anyway, Boss called us into the meeting around

638
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: lunch and said it was good that we were able

639
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: to talk about things outside of work because it's good

640
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 1: team bonding. But it had come to his attention that

641
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: there was unsolicited health advice and cultural sensitivity issues in

642
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: the team. We'd be discussing that in our next team meeting,

643
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,439
Speaker 1: and we had a productive session, but needed to focus

644
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,679
Speaker 1: on work and keep our spirits up. Vegan had a

645
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 1: meeting with Boss after that and then went home early.

646
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 1: We had come in on Saturday and today end of

647
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 1: month stuff. This happens when the end of the month

648
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: falls in a weekend. I'm in finance, but we get

649
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: time and to do. By the way, what you'll should

650
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: always have time for is listening to full episodes of

651
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: Okay Storytime. Wherever you get your podcast, Apple Podcasts, Spotify

652
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 1: or one of the other ones, just look up Okay

653
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: Storytime in that little search bar.

654
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 3: Just give it a little Google.

655
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: I just gave Vegan a cheerful good morning, to which

656
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: she didn't respond, and then she just handed me a

657
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: file and said she was leaving. I just said, thank

658
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: you for your work today and enjoy the rest of

659
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: your weekend. You can kind of just grunt it at

660
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: me and left. I'm going to keep it civil, like

661
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: HR said, and Vegan can dig her own hole. I

662
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: still feel a bit sorry for her. I still think

663
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: she feels attacked, but at least it got her off

664
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: my back for the time being. And we just have

665
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: some relevant comments that OP may have responded to, So

666
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: comment Wan, her behavior has nothing to do with being vegan,

667
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: and one hundred percent of you with being an obtuse witch.

668
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: You handled this really well comment to I'm gonna take

669
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: this opportunity to tell you Op, stop being overly cheerful

670
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: to Vegan after the HR mediation, she could very well

671
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 1: feel like you're rubbing it in her face that you

672
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: got what you wanted and she didn't.

673
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 5: No pe response.

674
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 1: I'm not overly cheerful, but I am the sort of

675
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: person that says good morning to people on my way

676
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: to my desk and be odd if I didn't have

677
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 1: some form of pleasantries. Besides, I'm pretty sure my boss

678
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: will be keeping an eye on our interactions. And that

679
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: is where that Vegan story ends. It's over, it's over.

680
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 3: It's over.

681
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 6: Mal Anakin, Hey, John og host here. We're gonna get

682
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 6: back to this episode, but a quick three minute break

683
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 6: of ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

684
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 4: We revoked being business partners.

685
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 3: With our boss, and it was a nightmare.

686
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I imagine that wouldn't go well. I think we're

687
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: gonna get some soue happy people.

688
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 3: Yes, I imagine that would not go over well. My

689
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 3: wife and I are in the restaurant industry. She is

690
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 3: an incredibly talented chef and is the executive chef at

691
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 3: the gastro pub we both work at, while I am

692
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 3: the de facto lead cocktail waitress slash server. By the way,

693
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 3: this comes from a deleted user, and if you want

694
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go over to the r

695
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 3: slash Okay, storytime subred it do it there? So a

696
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 3: little relevant background information. My wife has opened a few

697
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 3: restaurants in our city and other cities prior to this one,

698
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,479
Speaker 3: and has a good amount of press and professional interest

699
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 3: her brand as a chef is really starting to take off,

700
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 3: but it is in no way entirely or even mostly

701
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 3: because of her current position. I've also been in the

702
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 3: restaurant industry in this city and other cities, serving and

703
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,479
Speaker 3: bartending for years.

704
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 4: We are restaurant lifeer couple.

705
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 3: We were the first employees of this restaurant, the only

706
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 3: full time employees, and we opened it with the owners

707
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 3: along with a handful of part time servers, bartenders, and

708
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 3: line slash prep cooks. It is a small, upscale gastropub

709
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 3: in a really vibrant neighborhood in a large coastal city.

710
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 3: We have great guests and even better reviews, and like

711
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 3: I mentioned above, my wife is getting.

712
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 4: More and more press and interest.

713
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 3: When the two of us were hired, professional interest in

714
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: my wife was part of the reason why the owners

715
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 3: offered us a chance to eventually buy in and become

716
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 3: co owners of the gastropub and any future restaurants they owned.

717
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 3: This was we decided, a great opportunity for both of us,

718
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 3: and for the first few months we opened in early spring,

719
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 3: things have been wonderful, happy guests, the aforementioned great reviews.

720
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 3: My wife has almost total autonomy in the kitchen. It

721
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 3: has been an incredibly great work experience that made us

722
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 3: really confident in using a huge amount of money to

723
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 3: become partners. Three weeks ago, we unfurled a brunch program

724
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 3: to accompany our dinner cocktail program, with the intention that

725
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 3: I would run the floor for service along with our

726
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 3: owner's wife, who has been a stay at home mom

727
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 3: for a year year or so after a couple decades

728
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 3: of restaurant industry worked the first weekend, his wife and

729
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 3: I worked fairly well together. I think we both anticipated

730
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 3: some growing pains with communication, like a normal new coworker situation,

731
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 3: but nothing negative materialized until the second weekend. His wife

732
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 3: seemed to have a hard time relinquishing control over every

733
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 3: single guest and table.

734
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 5: To control freak. She thinks she's a sar of this

735
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 5: little restaurant.

736
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 3: Never do see that in the restaurant industry. I've never

737
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 3: once control freaks had a control freaks.

738
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 4: They're all control freaks? Do you think you kind of

739
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 4: need to be?

740
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 3: Not all of them, but most of them? And as

741
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 3: a result, began interfering with my guests and tables instead

742
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 3: of focusing on her own. In frustration, I lashed out

743
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 3: in a really petty and mildly rude way. I snapped

744
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 3: and asked if she just wanted me to gender diverse

745
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 3: her my tables, since she clearly wanted to take them all.

746
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 3: I just snapped and asked if she wanted me to

747
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 3: just give her my tables and she clearly wanted to

748
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 3: take them all. She asked if she was stepping on

749
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 3: any toes, and I told her I would appreciate being

750
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 3: able to connect with my own guests and tables, and

751
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 3: I felt she was interfering. She said she understood, and

752
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 3: for the rest of the shift, in my view, we

753
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 3: went back to being cordial and professional and had no

754
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 3: further confrontations, and when the shift was over, I headed

755
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 3: home without any serious further thought. When my wife came home,

756
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 3: she had been in the restaurant kitchen when the altercation

757
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 3: took place and comes home later than I do since

758
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 3: has significantly longer shifts. She told me that both the

759
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 3: owner and his wife sat her down and read her

760
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 3: the riot act of my apparent behavior problems and work

761
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 3: performance issues, and that because they didn't want to upset

762
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 3: my wife, they wanted her to talk to me about

763
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 3: my apparent issues. My wife told them to keep her

764
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 3: completely out of it, and any work related issues they

765
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 3: had with me needed to be addressed to me as

766
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 3: was appropriate. I should mention that, prior to hearing this

767
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 3: from my wife, virtually no work related problems have been

768
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 3: brought to my attention. I am generally able, liable, well

769
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 3: liked employee with pretty solid amounts of glowing guest reviews.

770
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 3: I decided to head up early the next morning and

771
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 3: discuss this one on one with the owner's wife. I

772
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 3: figured this was a pretty big miscommunication with some weird

773
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 3: missteps on both parties, and wanted to have a calm

774
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 3: and reasonable, face to face discussion.

775
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 4: I figured maybe the two of us just weren't.

776
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,919
Speaker 3: Quite communicating well, and we could figure out a way

777
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 3: to work together and ultimately be in business together that

778
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 3: would benefit both of us. So I met with her

779
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 3: before work, with the anticipation also of apologizing for being

780
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 3: totally petty with my comment the weekend before Reddit. This

781
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 3: was the most absurd and pointless conversation I have ever

782
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 3: had in my adult professional life. I opened the conversation

783
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 3: explaining that I was upset and was trying to be

784
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 3: diplomatic but was having a hard time navigating our situation,

785
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 3: and I felt it was inappropriate for her and her

786
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 3: husband to discuss issues of mine with my wife. That

787
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,720
Speaker 3: was the longest sentence I managed to get out before

788
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 3: her index finger went up and the voice started raising,

789
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 3: I hate the index man.

790
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 2: Excuse me, Juli, Can you can you just.

791
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 3: Actually actually, I have some things to say and it's

792
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 3: very much important, uh and way more important whatever you

793
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 3: were gonna say.

794
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 5: So m.

795
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 7: Be outstanding. Call her ugly.

796
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna be different.

797
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: Feel like like I feel like if you just said

798
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: what's your favorite movie? Like like people will be like.

799
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 3: I was told I had bad vibes.

800
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,879
Speaker 4: I was rude and around customers.

801
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 3: I had a bad attitude towards her and by extensions,

802
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 3: the guests and our restaurant. I was informed repeatedly that

803
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 3: she was from New York and she just always talked

804
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 3: like this. She didn't know what I wanted or needed

805
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 3: out of trying to have a conversation with her. It

806
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 3: was pretty heavily implied that I'm her subordinate, which I

807
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,880
Speaker 3: suppose technically I am and always will be. It was

808
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 3: pretty condescending and defeatist. She ended up abruptly walking out

809
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 3: of the conversation and I ended up crying in public,

810
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 3: which was mortifying. She ended up walking up to my wife,

811
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 3: who was back in the restaurant kitchen and apologizing to

812
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 3: her for all the drama and asked my wife how

813
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:15,280
Speaker 3: old I was. I'll say this for my wife, She's

814
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 3: not an enabler. She's supportive, but if she thinks I'm

815
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 3: being unreasonable, over the top or generally seeing a situation

816
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 3: inaccurate way, she will not hesitate to tell me. We

817
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 3: were both really appalled with how this had been handled,

818
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 3: and we've both decided after days of talking, that it's

819
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 3: pretty clear we aren't willing to go into business with

820
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 3: this couple. We have some really fundamentally different ways of

821
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,479
Speaker 3: communicating and dealing with guests and service, and my wife

822
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 3: and I aren't willing to deal with their communication style.

823
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 3: We've decided to move on in December, probably head back

824
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 3: to Vegas, aka the Mecca of Food?

825
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 4: Is that where we live? That accurity?

826
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 5: Vegas?

827
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: I mean, Vegas is known for great food because it

828
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: has like the crazy Hotel America.

829
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 6: Is it the Mecca of I'll tell you, I'll tell

830
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 6: you why Mecca of food is Mecca.

831
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 7: Food's crazy, but I'll tell you why it's called like that.

832
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 3: Why buffets.

833
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 7: It has the most buffets, but the buffets are crazy.

834
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 3: They're like five is the buffets. I feel like it's

835
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 3: like a lot of really high end chefs open restaurants

836
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 3: in Vegas in these big, gaudy monstrosity hotels.

837
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 7: I mean, Gordon.

838
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,280
Speaker 3: Ramsey has a lot of restaurants down there.

839
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 7: But I will say the mecca of food what New

840
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 7: York City?

841
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 3: I was going to say. However, my owner, not his wife,

842
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 3: sent me a text saying the two of us, the

843
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 3: owner and me, need to have a discussion about the

844
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 3: whole situation. He's already assured my wife that I'm a

845
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 3: good server and not getting fired to the eye roll.

846
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 3: But at this point I'm really not sure how to proceed,

847
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 3: or what to talk to him about, or if I

848
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 3: should agree to meet at all. At this point, my

849
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 3: wife and I are just removing ourselves mentally from the business,

850
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 3: treating it like any other job, and moving on in

851
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 3: four months. Neither of us are willing to stay, and

852
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 3: we're both confident and happy with our decision. If anyone

853
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 3: is still here after that mountain of text, my question is,

854
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 3: how do I slash. We navigate this situation? What do

855
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 3: I say in my meeting with my owner? And I

856
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 3: am a fairly clever and aloof person, so I have

857
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 3: no problem either playing dumb or being a yes man

858
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 3: or the humanly defending myself, although I'm leaning towards the

859
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 3: former because I'm already emotionally and mentally moved on. What

860
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 3: is the best way to handle this? And there are

861
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 3: some comments, Sam, how would you handle this if you

862
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 3: had to handle it?

863
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't want to like f anyone over, right,

864
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 1: but you also don't want to be in a relationship

865
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: that is actively just destroying your happiness and also might

866
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 1: not lead to any financial success either. If it's right,

867
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 1: I mean, if there's this muss distraughtness already, so I

868
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: would try to leave elegantly without screwing everyone over.

869
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 3: Comment number one. Meet with him and see what he

870
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 3: has to say. He is the boss, and if you

871
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 3: plan to continue working there, he might know his wife

872
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 3: is crazy and offer you an olive branch. Or maybe

873
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 3: he'll confirm that his wife is your superior and you

874
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 3: need to check the attitude. OHP says all good points.

875
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 3: Thanks for your response. I think if he confirms she

876
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 3: is my superior. That would reiterate we're doing the right thing.

877
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 5: Moving on.

878
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 3: He likely thinks for still on board to give him

879
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 3: tens of thousands of dollars to buy parts of his business.

880
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 3: Kind of a win win lose lose situation. The reply says,

881
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 3: it sounds to me like he's considering your wife a

882
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 3: future business partner and you a side effect, probably a

883
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 3: smart move to go somewhere else. That being said, can't

884
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 3: hurt to hear what you have to say, and finding

885
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 3: out his wife's antics cost him his investors. His star

886
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 3: chef in front of house will be a major ego check.

887
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 3: OHP says, this is exactly how it feels, which I mean,

888
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 3: of course, his star chef is the golden child. I'm

889
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 3: all about that. She's fantastic. But yes, I think he

890
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:39,839
Speaker 3: needs a bit of a wake up call. Although in

891
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,239
Speaker 3: order to keep the peace for the duration, my wife

892
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 3: and I would prefer to have a pretty brutally honest

893
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 3: exit interview, sort of a situation when we put our

894
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,760
Speaker 3: notice in, rather than me getting defensive and word vomiting

895
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 3: about these problems when I meet him tomorrow. I agree

896
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 3: with that if your plan is to leave. That's what

897
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,240
Speaker 3: you should lead with. You should lead with the fact

898
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 3: that you're out. Thanks for all of the responses, Redd,

899
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,720
Speaker 3: it is a lot of fun. I should involve myself more.

900
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 3: And there is a second comment here. I hate it

901
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 3: when people try to justify acting crappy because they're from somewhere.

902
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 3: Just because you're from New York City doesn't mean it's

903
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 3: acceptable to be rude to people or to be able

904
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 3: to talk to people in unpleasant ways. And we have

905
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,840
Speaker 3: the update. Hello all. I have to say, I really

906
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 3: am blown away by the diplomacy and sympathy I received

907
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 3: with my first post. I really thought this was a

908
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 3: pretty mild topic that wouldn't receive too much attention, so

909
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 3: I'm really grateful for everyone that took the time to comment. Seriously.

910
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 3: Once I hit seven up votes and four comments, I

911
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,759
Speaker 3: thought that was going to be the end. I want

912
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 3: to clarify and expand on a few details before I

913
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:42,760
Speaker 3: dive into the update. First, I have absolutely no ego

914
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:47,240
Speaker 3: about my job. I'm a freaking waitress. I'm completely aware

915
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 3: it's unskilled labor and certainly doesn't take any specific skill

916
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 3: set to be competent at it, which I disagree with that,

917
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 3: but talking.

918
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 1: To people and making them feel like welcome and loved

919
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 1: is one of the hardest and also best things that

920
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: you can learn.

921
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 4: You're essentially public speaking to a very small group of

922
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 4: audious constantly all day.

923
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, only in the future.

924
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,879
Speaker 3: In fact, if you've ever been to a restaurant, you'll

925
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 3: know there are people who's scat at it.

926
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 5: A lot of people.

927
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 3: So that said, I love my job. I served and

928
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 3: bartended through two college degrees and kept on going afterwards.

929
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 3: I have a blast at work, but I am absolutely

930
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 3: aware that my wife is a significantly more valuable employee.

931
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 3: And where this is simple employment situation, I would happily

932
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 3: just move to a new job. I also wanted to

933
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 3: clarify on the owner's wife's interference when I snapped at her.

934
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 3: She wasn't simply checking on tables and refilling water and

935
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 3: pre busting tables. At one point, she was standing at

936
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 3: one of my tables for three to four minutes, which

937
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 3: is a long booty time in the restaurant world, talking

938
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 3: about her four kids and which one still breastfeed, and

939
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 3: her mortgage now much she would lose if the business failed,

940
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 3: and the application talking about my.

941
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 5: Wife failing at the tables.

942
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 3: This is you don't do that. That's that's classic.

943
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I've, however, awaited tables, but I imagined that would

944
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: not have the tips money go too well.

945
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 3: It was incredibly inappropriate and a really invasive service style.

946
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 3: I usually don't even let my own guests know I'm

947
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 3: married to the chef unless it organically comes up in conversation.

948
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 3: Multiple tables were actively complaining to me about her service style,

949
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:25,240
Speaker 3: which led to the admittedly petty comment I made to her. Anyway,

950
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 3: I went in to meet the owner. I asked our

951
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 3: bar manager to be present at the meeting as well.

952
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 3: Bar manager is a longtime friend of the owner and

953
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 3: was present for the initial altercation and the private conversation

954
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 3: the owner's wife and I had. So the three of

955
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 3: us chatted for about five minutes. I said very little

956
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 3: and mostly took the general advice here of deferring to

957
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 3: whatever my boss said. I generally employed three key phrases,

958
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 3: I understand, you're absolutely right, and I'm sorry. My bar manager,

959
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 3: with whom I primarily work with rather than the owner,

960
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 3: completely shut down any tense moments by immediately telling the

961
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 3: owner that I was a self assured season server who

962
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,720
Speaker 3: needed little to know direction and that the owner's wife

963
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 3: overstepped her boundaries in a big way, which led to

964
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 3: a pretty undesirable reaction from me. The owner pretty much

965
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,879
Speaker 3: deflated after that. He hemmed and haught a bit about

966
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 3: me being inappropriate, to which I agreed, and then repeatedly

967
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 3: told me his wife had no problem with me. I

968
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 3: cheerfully answered great, I look forward to working with her

969
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 3: next shift, and that essentially ended the conversation. I did

970
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 3: ask the owner point blank if his wife was considered

971
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 3: my superior when we worked together. He looked confused and

972
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 3: clarified that no, she was considered my complete equal, both

973
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 3: on the floor and off. He also firmly stuck to

974
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 3: his belief in being justified in discussing my personnel performance

975
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,280
Speaker 3: issues with my wife, a statement to which I again

976
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 3: deferred big. Absolutely, Hey, that is honestly the best way

977
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 3: in an environment like that. You just where you already

978
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 3: know you're out, You just go hey, yeah, that's okay. No,

979
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,399
Speaker 3: I agree, absolutely, yeah, yeah.

980
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,279
Speaker 1: I mean, because like the only thing that you gain

981
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 1: is just pain disagreeing with any of this.

982
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 3: If you're not, if you already know you're not staying,

983
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,399
Speaker 3: then then let's just give in just day. So that

984
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 3: was the planned end of my update until a perretty

985
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 3: serious conversation with my wife last night. Prior to, and

986
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 3: aside from this altercation, there have been some instances that

987
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 3: my wife witnessed that really made her question if we

988
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 3: should invest with them. Apparently, our owner has been getting

989
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 3: hammered during his shifts. He went to God behind the

990
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 3: Bar a few days early in the week whereas I

991
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 3: work the later weekdays and the weekend. He has been

992
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 3: so hammered to the point where he has fallen over

993
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 3: in front of guests behind the bar and completely been

994
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 3: unable to make cocktails we are an upscale craft cocktail bar,

995
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 3: and been visibly intoxicated with heavy slurring, generally giving terrible,

996
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 3: wasted service.

997
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: Maybe he's just taken a shot with everyone. He's like,

998
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 1: you know what, if you take a shot, I'll take

999
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 1: a shot.

1000
00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 3: You know that.

1001
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 4: Would they say one for you one for me.

1002
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 6: Too?

1003
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 3: You know what? They say? I have a problem. The

1004
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 3: breaking point for my wife was two one star Yelp

1005
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 3: reviews within minutes of each other, specifically calling out his service.

1006
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 3: One guest had to actually go to the kitchen window

1007
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 3: to get her own food it's terrible. I was completely

1008
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:24,240
Speaker 3: appalled and upset for and with her, and we both

1009
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 3: agreed this is not the way we want to run

1010
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 3: a business and reiterated to each other that any potential

1011
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 3: partnership with this couple wasn't going to happen. We are

1012
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 3: both professionally serious people, both committed to her career goal,

1013
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 3: and neither of us will do anything to jeopardize that.

1014
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 3: And by the way, your ears will be in jeopardy

1015
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 3: of not hearing more stories just like like this in

1016
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 3: full episodes of our podcast that you can find on

1017
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 3: Spotify and Apple Podcasts and wherever you get podcasts from

1018
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 3: just search. Okay, story time do it. Anyway, we are

1019
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 3: both on the same page now. We're keeping our savings

1020
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,040
Speaker 3: intact and completely mentally, slash emotionally checked out of going

1021
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 3: into business with this couple and generally getting all of

1022
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 3: our ducks in a row to head back to Vegas

1023
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,400
Speaker 3: so she can get back into some of those top

1024
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,359
Speaker 3: tier restaurants. Our least is up in November, so we'll

1025
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 3: just write it out until then. Read it. I really

1026
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 3: appreciate the attention this querre received. It really felt a

1027
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 3: bit unmoored with how to handle it, And I'm glad

1028
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 3: that you all essentially told me to follow my instincts

1029
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 3: and play it safe close to the vest.

1030
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,359
Speaker 4: That's it. Thanks to everyone, and that's it.

1031
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: So you're going to go into business with someone lay

1032
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 1: close to the vest? Are actually I actually have advice

1033
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 1: on this one.

1034
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,320
Speaker 3: Let's go Sam, Sam, businessman.

1035
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 1: You are going to start a business, And like, I

1036
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: feel like they should have done like a pop up beforehand.

1037
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 3: Or well, they weren't partnered yet, they were just some

1038
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,280
Speaker 3: of the first in play were going to partner.

1039
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: I just feel like they should have like they might

1040
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 1: have tested things like in a smaller way, like maybe

1041
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 1: like a weekend and see, like, hey, let's do a

1042
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: week stint and see how it is instead of committing

1043
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: like like or somewhat committing off.

1044
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 3: It sounds like they got committed for the wife. This

1045
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 3: guy is definitely I mean, I probably not anticipating losing his.

1046
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 5: Head, chef.

1047
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 4: But if you're scaring customers at.

1048
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 5: The bar, you're probably not gonna be a good owner.

1049
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,359
Speaker 3: You're bad owner. If you're scaring your own customers at

1050
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 3: the bar.

1051
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,240
Speaker 1: If they ask more questions, maybe you could give context,

1052
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:14,280
Speaker 1: but get out of there first.

1053
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1054
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of bads from our sponsors that

1055
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: keep the show alive.

1056
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,319
Speaker 6: My wife is furious I didn't defend her honor when

1057
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 6: people talked openly about her past.

1058
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,800
Speaker 2: How dare you not defend my honor?

1059
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 5: I'll do you.

1060
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 6: I'm at a loss here. We've been married just under

1061
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 6: two years. We've been together for a little over three years.

1062
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 6: Our mutual friends set us up on a date and

1063
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 6: we've been together ever since. We have vastly different backgrounds,

1064
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 6: and honestly, we are even different over some values. Nothing

1065
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 6: huge or anything that makes me think differently of her,

1066
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 6: but they are there. By the way, this comes from

1067
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 6: no honor twenty three And if you have some honor

1068
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 6: and a story, send it to our such okay, storytime subridy, yes.

1069
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 4: Right, but only if you have the prerequisite honor.

1070
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 3: Honor or not whatever.

1071
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,760
Speaker 6: I've had a couple of previous girlfriends that have lasted

1072
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 6: for a good length of time each, and I dated

1073
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 6: a few other girls over the years, but nothing ever

1074
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 6: came of them. She, on the other hand, was wild

1075
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 6: her words not mind, and we had a very vast

1076
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 6: spicy sleep life. Now, before you think this is another

1077
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 6: one of these posts when the guy can't get over.

1078
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 3: His wife's past, let me put an end to that. Okay.

1079
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 6: I knew about it before we got married, and I

1080
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 6: understood that we were just different about that.

1081
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 3: We were just different. It's no big deal as long

1082
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 3: as it was in the past.

1083
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 6: The only time it ever became an issue was when

1084
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 6: I found out the guy who was both of our

1085
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 6: friends who set us up was a previous lover of hers.

1086
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 6: That made me feel weird for some reason, but that's

1087
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 6: all it was, and I never said a word about

1088
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 6: it too well.

1089
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 3: Anyways, this past.

1090
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 6: Weekend, we attended a party that was held by one

1091
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 6: of her friends, and while we were there, the booze

1092
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 6: was flowing freely, which usually is never a good thing,

1093
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:51,960
Speaker 6: and a group of guys were talking about how macho

1094
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 6: they were because they had betted so.

1095
00:48:54,680 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 3: Many women and were doing the usual bs. Yeah oh oh,

1096
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 3: that's my translation of a bunch of guys talking.

1097
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 6: Then the two of them started talking about this one

1098
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 6: woman that they did within an hour of each other,

1099
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 6: and they started talking about how she was there that

1100
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 6: night and was betting they could get her to do

1101
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 6: both of them at the same time.

1102
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 3: Oh, these people were gross. That's gross. Spicy talk, holy jeevers,

1103
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 3: Yeah it was.

1104
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 6: It was at this time then another guy who was

1105
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 6: also a friend of mine, recognized that it was my

1106
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 6: wife these two were talking about.

1107
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 3: Oh, jumped in trying to change the conversation. Oh man.

1108
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 6: However, I figured it out and just decided the best

1109
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 6: thing to do was to walk away. Obviously, after I left,

1110
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 6: my friend told them that I was the husband, and well,

1111
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 6: the two both snickered at that, and then the group

1112
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 6: broke up.

1113
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 3: All right, pause, if your wife's mad because she found

1114
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 3: out you walked away after hearing that your wife's right, Sorry, buddy,

1115
00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 3: you need to do at least walk over and give

1116
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,399
Speaker 3: them a piece of your you'd fight with your mind, Yeah,

1117
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 3: with your head, say something that will wreck them for

1118
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 3: years to come. Give him some head, you know, a

1119
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 3: piece of this gud.

1120
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,919
Speaker 4: Just give him a good old dosa head right there

1121
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 4: from you.

1122
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 3: Head, but head, juice, excuse me, you heard exactly what

1123
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 3: I said. I go get a drink and figure that

1124
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 3: I will just hang there. Some are quiet till she

1125
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 3: is ready to leave.

1126
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 6: I see her sitting with a group of her female friends,

1127
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 6: and she seems to be having a good time, So

1128
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 6: I find a TV PLoP down to watch whatever's on,

1129
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 6: and about a half an hour later, she comes to

1130
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 6: me and tells me that she is ready to go,

1131
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 6: and I could tell by her voice.

1132
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 3: That she was pissed.

1133
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 6: As we drive home, she doesn't say a word. I

1134
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 6: asked her if she had a good time, and she

1135
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:40,360
Speaker 6: just glared at me.

1136
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, she'd be like I would have had a good

1137
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 3: time if my freaking boyfriend had a spine that's sick,

1138
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 3: or I actually my husband.

1139
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 6: Why did you give him some head? My husband would

1140
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 6: have given some head a drinking mine. So when we

1141
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 6: get to the house, she erupts an anger at me.

1142
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 6: Our friend went and told her what was said and

1143
00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 6: that I walked away. She was pissed at me for

1144
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 6: letting them say these things about her. She was pissed

1145
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 6: because I let them humiliate her, and she was pissed

1146
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 6: because I wasn't talking with her at this point was

1147
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 6: going to do no good as she was just living.

1148
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 3: I just told her we could talk when she calmed down.

1149
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 6: That was early Sunday morning, and she is refusing to

1150
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,320
Speaker 6: talk to me now at all, other than to tell

1151
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 6: me what time she would be home from work or

1152
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,320
Speaker 6: some issues party our car. I was planning on taking

1153
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 6: her tonight when she gets home. But I'm not sure

1154
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 6: what to say or where to go with this. I mean,

1155
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 6: maybe I was wrong for walking away, but I just

1156
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 6: didn't think challenging two guys to stuck offing bing bat

1157
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 6: boom boom ba bat bam.

1158
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 4: But you see, you're not.

1159
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 3: You don't have to do that. No, you can walk

1160
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 3: up to them and make them so you're outing yourself

1161
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 3: right now that you don't have a lot of brain

1162
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 3: juice going on. Uh oh, cause I gotta say, if

1163
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 3: I had a wife, I heard two goons at a

1164
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,879
Speaker 3: party saying how they were gonna like get with her

1165
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:58,240
Speaker 3: at the same time, I would certainly say something yeah,

1166
00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 3: it's like yo.

1167
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 6: I wouldn't walk over there and just go like pop bam.

1168
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:05,799
Speaker 6: I'd be like words, yeah. I also think it's good

1169
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 6: and helpful to know, like what would the wife want

1170
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 6: in this there's like what the wife wants in the

1171
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:15,920
Speaker 6: scenario we didn't know beforehand. One can only hope that

1172
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 6: you know your partner well enough to know you know

1173
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 6: what what she would want, and so doing that for

1174
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 6: her and then there's also what you what you feel

1175
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:24,520
Speaker 6: is right?

1176
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:25,879
Speaker 3: What do you feel right?

1177
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 6: So because I I could also see a scenario where

1178
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 6: the partner's like, hey, I don't want you going up

1179
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 6: to them and making that a bigger deal. And then

1180
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 6: in that case, do we respect the partner's wishes of

1181
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 6: that in that specific scenario.

1182
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 3: Or you could be different. You could be a real

1183
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 3: g and moving silence like Lasagna and just start plotting.

1184
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 3: Make a plot, make a plan, make a scheme, serve

1185
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 3: them their come up, and nothing legal, nothing, nothing that

1186
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 3: would end you, make you end up in a cell

1187
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 3: of some kind. Yeah, just begin your plot. Wow, you

1188
00:52:57,960 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 3: know it could be done and act. We could tell

1189
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 3: your wife. You could be like, babe, I'm plottin. Don't worry.

1190
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 3: They're not getting away with that plot some Almo's come scheming.

1191
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 6: Topie says, I would have made a scene and it

1192
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,359
Speaker 6: would have been nothing but drama. So I just thought

1193
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 6: removing myself was the best option. I guess I was

1194
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 6: wrong there, or was I question? I didn't even know

1195
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:17,920
Speaker 6: who they were talking about until my friend made it

1196
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 6: obvious he was trying to change the subject. What should

1197
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 6: I have said or done for that matter? Why am

1198
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 6: I at faultier. Heck, I'm the one who had to

1199
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 6: hear about these two that shared my wife before she

1200
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 6: was with my wife, like she was a party favor.

1201
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 6: So it wasn't all fun and games for me either.

1202
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 6: I Oh wait what Oh I missed that.

1203
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 3: I thought they were being like, oh, this is what

1204
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,719
Speaker 3: we would They're saying, hey, remember when we did.

1205
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is this is they were talking about the past. Oh,

1206
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 6: they were saying like and and also, to be clear,

1207
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 6: not that this makes it any better, they didn't know

1208
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:51,839
Speaker 6: it was Opie's wife when they were saying it.

1209
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 3: And then dude number Three's like, oh, that's that's Opie's wife,

1210
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 3: Like yo, chill.

1211
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 6: But then they still kind of snickered like kind of

1212
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,480
Speaker 6: like you know, we we got you.

1213
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:00,160
Speaker 3: That's that.

1214
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:01,920
Speaker 4: Well, erase everything I've said.

1215
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 3: Everything I've said is completely irrelevant now because the context

1216
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,720
Speaker 3: was not right in my brain, well with my smooth,

1217
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 3: smooth brain, I think, like.

1218
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 6: What is something that's very fair going up to those

1219
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 6: guys and it's like, hey, would you talk to your

1220
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 6: sister about like your sister like that, like show some respects.

1221
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 3: Come on, dude, they're just gonna dunk on you. For

1222
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 3: that bro, they're they're turned up at a party, you

1223
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,359
Speaker 3: come over, Would you talk to your sister like that?

1224
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 3: I'd be like, I mean I wouldn't, But like if

1225
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 3: I was in character as these goons, if you're playing,

1226
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 3: I would now direct all of my goon energy to

1227
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 3: the guy who was like, why'd you say that about

1228
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 3: your sister? I'd be like, what do you are you

1229
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:37,320
Speaker 3: my sister?

1230
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,839
Speaker 6: Like, I don't know, I would it could go back,

1231
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,800
Speaker 6: but at least that's like you being like, got no respect?

1232
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 3: That really? Yeah, I think again I.

1233
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 4: Said erase everything I said, doesn't It's not that's I.

1234
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 6: Think there's a scenario again, because like I do think

1235
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 6: there are, and not to sidetrack too much, but I

1236
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 6: think in these scenarios, people are always asking like what

1237
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 6: is right?

1238
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 3: What is wrong?

1239
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,840
Speaker 6: Like as this like blanket, like what is this like

1240
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,239
Speaker 6: universal law? I think it's more like what's right and

1241
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 6: wrong in the context of your relationship?

1242
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 4: Correct, Yeah, that's that's what really matters here.

1243
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1244
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 6: So if like the partner is like, hey, I would

1245
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 6: actually rather you not make a big deal because that

1246
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 6: would make me more uncomfortable whatever, Hey doing that?

1247
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 3: If your partner wants you to. I don't know.

1248
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 6: It's kind of tough because then it's like, does she

1249
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,440
Speaker 6: want you to get into like actually get into a confrontation.

1250
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:23,200
Speaker 6: I think we'll learn more of what OPI's wife was

1251
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,359
Speaker 6: feeling here, but yeah, we'll keep going.

1252
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,399
Speaker 3: Well at good point that I'm reframing in my head

1253
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:30,839
Speaker 3: and I think, now it's like one, I just don't

1254
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 3: want to keep yapping. But if her past makes her uncomfortable,

1255
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 3: that's her problem. But if Op didn't know about her

1256
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 3: past and he just heard that for the first time,

1257
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 3: he knows, Yeah, so you already know. But also when

1258
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 3: you hear that, Op, you should have something to say.

1259
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 3: You can't just be like completely silent about it. You

1260
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 3: say something back, have your wife's back. Guys are bragging

1261
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 3: about treating her like a piece of meat. Do something,

1262
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 3: say something.

1263
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 8: Well, I feel like with these guys, they're just gonna

1264
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 8: like triple down, like they're just gonna get in your

1265
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:00,920
Speaker 8: face about it, and that she didn't make it did

1266
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 8: a good hostile I don't know, like I would say something.

1267
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,480
Speaker 7: But yeah, it's it's such a fine thing. I don't know,

1268
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:06,839
Speaker 7: it's like.

1269
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:07,799
Speaker 3: A fine fine line.

1270
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:08,919
Speaker 7: I think I would say something.

1271
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,399
Speaker 8: I'm like hey, that's not cool, or like hey, shut up,

1272
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,760
Speaker 8: but like then you open that can of worms, because

1273
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 8: those guys are like, yeah, what do you do about it?

1274
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,399
Speaker 7: You know what we did, and you're like, oh, here

1275
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 7: we go.

1276
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 3: That's when you plot in silence. What does that mean?

1277
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 6: You don't do gott in silence. You don't do anything illegal.

1278
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 3: But anyways, let's get back to the store.

1279
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 6: So I knew about her past and could live with it,

1280
00:56:30,680 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 6: but it's another thing to be smacked in the face

1281
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 6: with it. Any advice would be appreciated here. And there

1282
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 6: is an update, but we're gonna dive right in. Things

1283
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 6: didn't go well and now rolls are reversed. Oh oh

1284
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 6: what what kind of roles? Rolls are reversed? Uh?

1285
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,359
Speaker 3: Oh oh wait? Did she wait? Okay, we'll see.

1286
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 6: First of all, I tried to talk to her that

1287
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:50,319
Speaker 6: night when she got home from work. She was late,

1288
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 6: but that is not a big deal, and I knew

1289
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 6: that she was going to be late. Normally she will

1290
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,279
Speaker 6: come in, grab her food and come sit in the

1291
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 6: living room with me or wash TV or something while

1292
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 6: she eats dinner. But instead she walked in, grabbed her food,

1293
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 6: and walked straight back to the computer room without saying

1294
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 6: a word to me. I let it slide, figuring, okay,

1295
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,359
Speaker 6: another night to cool off. She at least said good

1296
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 6: night to me, but that was that. Thursday was just

1297
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 6: pretty hectic for both of us, and her family was

1298
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 6: over prescheduled, so it wasn't a surprise for me. But

1299
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 6: after they left, she went immediately to bed. By Friday,

1300
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 6: I had had enough. But I think we're three or

1301
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:22,440
Speaker 6: four days completely silent treatment.

1302
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, wife, but I didn't do any of that

1303
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 3: stuff with those guys. Why are you treat me like

1304
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 3: that's what I did? Why are you treating me like

1305
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 3: I did that at the party? That is not what happened. Yeah,

1306
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 3: the cold shoulder is very cold. This is some stuff

1307
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 3: that knock knock, you did hello, And it's and all

1308
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 3: of this anger towards Op is because there was no

1309
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 3: defense of her honor, yes, which I think she is

1310
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:45,959
Speaker 3: being overly harsh on Op.

1311
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, wife, that's not a very honorable act.

1312
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 4: It's okay.

1313
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 3: I don't care about it. It's all right.

1314
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 6: Honestly, I'm like Actus, I'm removing the act. I feel

1315
00:57:56,240 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 6: like she is giving Op and Undo like harsh. It's yeah,

1316
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 6: because he was okay with it, well, except and then

1317
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 6: he was like, I don't know, it's different being hit

1318
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 6: in the face.

1319
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 3: With it right in front of me.

1320
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:10,680
Speaker 4: It's like, but we're just kind of I think it's understandable.

1321
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:14,400
Speaker 4: But yeah, but also like own it. That's what I'm saying,

1322
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 4: own it.

1323
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 3: You have to be able to own what you have done,

1324
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 3: and as the husband, you need to own it too.

1325
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, because it's like I guess one could say self

1326
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 6: acceptance is like okay, yeah, they're being a holes, but

1327
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 6: like that's me, Like, hey, we out.

1328
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 3: Here, I don't know you even just say something like dang.

1329
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 3: So you guys remember that, like that was probably the

1330
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 3: best moment of your lives. Huh. Okay, well she doesn't

1331
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 3: even remember you guys, I don't know. Like, yes, I

1332
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 3: think that's a pretty good comeback.

1333
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 6: Like literally the peak of your life was having spicy

1334
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 6: sleep with my current wife.

1335
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,320
Speaker 3: Yes, before we were married. Great, happy for you, congratulations,

1336
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 3: Yeah I'm married to that. There you go, So whatever,

1337
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 3: have fun with.

1338
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 6: Your lives, guys, being sad and lonely anything, and do

1339
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 6: we agree? It seems she's being at least uh not

1340
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 6: as communicative as she should be and then at most

1341
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 6: maybe like too harsh towards op.

1342
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:01,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think if she was right next to

1343
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 3: him and it happened, that's one thing she wasn't right

1344
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 3: was she heard about this later, heard about it later.

1345
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 3: So that's another layer of like, why are you this bad?

1346
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 6: You literally it's not like they said that to your

1347
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 6: Now that's a different Yes, that is all.

1348
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 3: If the wife is there and they're talking to her

1349
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 3: to her face like that, Yes, now we are all

1350
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 3: getting the police infault. I agree, inevitably. Yeah, so that's unfortunate. Yeah,

1351
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 3: but hey, sometimes you run your mouth, you find out Mmmm,

1352
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 3: that's right.

1353
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:30,680
Speaker 6: But by Friday I had enough. I got home after

1354
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:32,880
Speaker 6: her I worked late on Fridays, and sure enough, she

1355
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 6: was already secluded in the computer room. I walked in

1356
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 6: and asked if we could talk, and she gave me

1357
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 6: a disgusted look and said what to talk about? And

1358
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 6: that is when I said, I wanted to talk about

1359
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 6: the party and the fallout from it. I then walked

1360
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:45,600
Speaker 6: back into the living room, thinking that she was going

1361
00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 6: to follow me. I sat down, only to find myself

1362
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 6: sitting there for several minutes all by myself. I was

1363
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 6: getting pissed by this time, and marched in there and

1364
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 6: said that I wanted to either talk about this or

1365
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 6: do something else, but I was not going on living

1366
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 6: like this. She finally gets up and comes out and

1367
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 6: then sits first. I first off try to say that

1368
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 6: I was sorry for my actions or lack thereof in

1369
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 6: this case, and that I really wanted her to tell

1370
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 6: me how she would have liked me to handle it,

1371
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 6: and what should I do if I ever have to

1372
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:12,960
Speaker 6: deal with something like this again?

1373
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,640
Speaker 3: I mean a kidding, Yeah, we need more communication.

1374
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 6: I think we're starting off good. Hey, my bad for

1375
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 6: not doing this way? How can I be better in

1376
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 6: the future.

1377
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 3: I'm starting to question the root of all of this.

1378
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 3: I'm starting to even question the nature of the conversation

1379
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 3: that these two guys were having when they were like,

1380
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 3: do you remember And it's like, cause again, remember they

1381
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 3: didn't know that it was his wife they had now

1382
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 3: and they did snicker like kind of like, oh okay, yeah,

1383
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:37,720
Speaker 3: we got them a little bit. But then they did

1384
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 3: stop talking.

1385
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 4: You know what people do when they get uncomfortable.

1386
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 3: A lot of people laugh, Right, It's an uncomfortable thing

1387
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 3: to find out you were just talking about having a

1388
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 3: man nagle with someone else's wife who's standing right next

1389
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 3: to you. But again, op could have had a great

1390
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:51,760
Speaker 3: moment to be like to drop the bombshell there and

1391
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 3: be like, hey, that's a funny story about my wife,

1392
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:57,400
Speaker 3: and then they'd all go oh oh. I feel like

1393
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 3: if that happened, they go all go, oh my god,

1394
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, yes, and then it's a completely different story

1395
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 3: that's true. But yeah, yeah, I don't know. I'm starting

1396
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 3: to think that there wasn't even any malice at the

1397
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 3: beginning of this coincidence. I don't think there was any malice.

1398
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 6: I think maybe once they realized they got I feel

1399
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,200
Speaker 6: like the snicker might have been like got you, but

1400
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,160
Speaker 6: it was like very low key, and then they like

1401
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,520
Speaker 6: shut it down after that. And also friend number three

1402
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 6: was like yo, like that. Yeah, I don't know, So

1403
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 6: again I still think he should have gone up and

1404
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 6: been like, yo, guyzah, very funny, that's my wife respected.

1405
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 3: De korm Shall I need a deceason, gentlemen, my brain

1406
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:31,120
Speaker 3: is becoming twin peaks.

1407
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 4: It's just everything is not what it seems.

1408
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 6: First, she informs me that there won't be another chance

1409
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 6: to do this again, as we won't be attending any

1410
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 6: more parties of her friends because she doesn't feel like

1411
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 6: she can show her face. I ask her why she

1412
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 6: is embarrassed to go. This is where things went from

1413
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 6: bad to worse. I'm expecting her to give the you

1414
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 6: don't have to apologize for your past speech, thinking that

1415
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:53,080
Speaker 6: she was embarrassed by the two guys talking about her.

1416
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 6: But no, instead, this is what she tells me. She

1417
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 6: was not embarrassed to go. She was embarrassed for me

1418
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 6: to go with her. I came across as less of

1419
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 6: a man, and she was ashamed of the way I

1420
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 6: behaved in that moment.

1421
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so dumper, Yeah, dumper, she's trash dumper. She

1422
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 3: she wanted you to what get a felony for her.

1423
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:17,920
Speaker 3: She wanted you to start a physical altercation over something

1424
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 3: that she did, which, by the way, there was no

1425
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 3: party of three. They were talking about how it was

1426
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 3: like one of them got with her and then that

1427
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 3: same night another another compatriot, not even in that group,

1428
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 3: just a night.

1429
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 6: It was like it was like two people like, oh

1430
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 6: it was same night, y'all, and it's like.

1431
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:37,160
Speaker 3: Which still disrespectful, but yeah, now her being like I'm

1432
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:38,920
Speaker 3: embarrassed to be seen with you and be like, dang,

1433
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 3: I've got a great solution for that. You'll never have

1434
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 3: to be seen with me again. Oh, I'm leaving you

1435
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 3: right where you are right now. First I was done.

1436
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 6: I just sat there. But then all I could sput

1437
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 6: her out was what should I have done? She literally

1438
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:52,800
Speaker 6: wanted me to give the old one two dittly do.

1439
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 3: To these guys. Okay, I mean in actual fisticuffs. Okay.

1440
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 4: She wanted the bomba boom boom boom.

1441
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 6: Bam type of thing that you wouldn't understand. I'll let

1442
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 6: you in on a secret. I've never been in a

1443
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 6: fisticuffs in my life. I've either been able to talk

1444
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:10,200
Speaker 6: my way out of.

1445
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:11,560
Speaker 3: It or avoid those situations.

1446
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:13,320
Speaker 6: I don't know if I could have fought either one

1447
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 6: of those guys to a standstill, let alone to on one.

1448
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 6: I sat there in a stun silence for a good while.

1449
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,920
Speaker 6: Then I asked how that would have helped anything at all,

1450
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:22,880
Speaker 6: and she said it would have.

1451
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 3: Proven that I cared enough to stand up for See. Now,

1452
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 3: this would be the moment where you go, hey, so

1453
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 3: I'll fight those guys, the same moment that you build

1454
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 3: a time machine, you go back in time, and you

1455
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:35,960
Speaker 3: stop yourself from hooking up with those two dudes in

1456
01:03:35,960 --> 01:03:36,440
Speaker 3: the same night.

1457
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 6: I'm not even saying that, but like that's she's she's

1458
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:40,240
Speaker 6: bugging out.

1459
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:41,800
Speaker 3: No, that's what I'm saying.

1460
01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 6: There's no universe in which I'm gonna just fight two

1461
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 6: random guys for you over something that you did.

1462
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:47,960
Speaker 3: Duh.

1463
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're not lying there faith.

1464
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:51,840
Speaker 3: They weren't.

1465
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:55,160
Speaker 6: They didn't even know that OPO is there or like

1466
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,920
Speaker 6: you know, and they did stop after the other friend

1467
01:03:57,920 --> 01:03:58,400
Speaker 6: told them.

1468
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 3: To, like yeah, no, it's yeah, crazy crazy.

1469
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:03,640
Speaker 6: I tried to explain that I had no idea who

1470
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:06,560
Speaker 6: they were talking about for the entire time until the

1471
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 6: very end, and they were talking about several women, not

1472
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 6: just her. I said that I didn't want to make

1473
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 6: a scene at her friend's party and thought that it

1474
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:14,440
Speaker 6: would have made us look bad if I wanted to

1475
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 6: fight her friends, which is fair. This rolled off her

1476
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:19,520
Speaker 6: like water off a duck. So then I said one

1477
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:22,680
Speaker 6: thing I probably shouldn't have, but in retrospect, I'd probably

1478
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:23,320
Speaker 6: say it again.

1479
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:26,160
Speaker 3: I just asked, why the heck should I have been wanting.

1480
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:29,240
Speaker 6: To bing b booom bam boom bam ba boom on

1481
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 6: somebody if what they were saying was true. They didn't

1482
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:34,960
Speaker 6: know she was married when they said all that. They

1483
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,240
Speaker 6: thought that she would still do it. And at the

1484
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 6: time I didn't even know who they were talking about. Again,

1485
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 6: Opie didn't realize who it was until the end of

1486
01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 6: the conversation, which I believe frankly, this was when she

1487
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:49,400
Speaker 6: goes off of me, saying she knew her past was

1488
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 6: going to be used against her.

1489
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 4: Ay, that's not what's happening, girl.

1490
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 6: You are internalizing all of that shame in projecting it

1491
01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 6: onto your husband and the people around you.

1492
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 4: He doesn't care. He doesn't care.

1493
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 6: He hasn't really mentioned it once, and we've seen a

1494
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:06,520
Speaker 6: lot of situations where that was the case.

1495
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:08,600
Speaker 3: I don't think this is one. I honestly don't. He

1496
01:05:08,640 --> 01:05:10,720
Speaker 3: doesn't care at all. I honestly know he was cool.

1497
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 3: He cares that you wanted him to, like go to

1498
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 3: jail over this?

1499
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:14,760
Speaker 5: True?

1500
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 3: What do you did it? You did it? Why do

1501
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,320
Speaker 3: I have to pay for it? You did it?

1502
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:22,600
Speaker 6: Oh baby, I said, I sure as heck wasn't using

1503
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 6: it now. And if she didn't want me to break

1504
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 6: the law and bing bob baam someone, I wouldn't even

1505
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:30,120
Speaker 6: be talking about it now she got pissed, but by

1506
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 6: this time I was pissed myself. I felt like I

1507
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,640
Speaker 6: was put into a no win situation and that she

1508
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:36,960
Speaker 6: didn't care enough about me to care about whether or

1509
01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,480
Speaker 6: not I would get hurt or arrested over something that

1510
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 6: I didn't care about. She could tell at this point

1511
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 6: that I was pissed as well, so we both agreed

1512
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,640
Speaker 6: to just leave it sit for a few days. The

1513
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,120
Speaker 6: weekend wasn't much better, and honestly, I think both of

1514
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:50,960
Speaker 6: us are reevaluating our relationship. Could I have or should

1515
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 6: I have said something to the guys Maybe I am

1516
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,520
Speaker 6: still not sure about it. I don't know what I

1517
01:05:56,560 --> 01:05:58,479
Speaker 6: would have said without it becoming a big deal.

1518
01:05:58,520 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 3: But I truly am.

1519
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:02,080
Speaker 6: Upset that she was so upset about it and that

1520
01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 6: she doesn't want me around her friends, and she said

1521
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 6: that she didn't care about my physical well being. And

1522
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 6: we have an update number two.

1523
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:14,440
Speaker 3: No, husband, I don't care about your physical well being. Nope, Nope,

1524
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:17,840
Speaker 3: being about boombam. You need to understand, man, that's what

1525
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 3: I want. I'm gonna make you mine, not wife.

1526
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:24,000
Speaker 6: The update number two, I've made repeated attempts to talk

1527
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:26,160
Speaker 6: with her, offered and suggested that we should go to

1528
01:06:26,240 --> 01:06:29,000
Speaker 6: counseling together, and in the end all has fallen on

1529
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:31,280
Speaker 6: deaf ears. I'm not going to live like this. Maybe

1530
01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 6: I was wrong, maybe I should have done or said

1531
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,520
Speaker 6: something else or anything, but in the end I didn't.

1532
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:37,800
Speaker 6: I thought I was doing the right thing, but apparently

1533
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:39,640
Speaker 6: I was being a coward in her mind, and she

1534
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,280
Speaker 6: sees me as less of a man.

1535
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:42,160
Speaker 3: Boris well.

1536
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 6: Sadly, this whole episode has now made me see her

1537
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,360
Speaker 6: in a whole new light as well.

1538
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:47,480
Speaker 3: She honestly would have.

1539
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:50,720
Speaker 6: Rather had me end up in jail, the hospital, or

1540
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 6: eternal sleep as opposed to.

1541
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:54,440
Speaker 3: What I ended up doing.

1542
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:56,200
Speaker 6: I will not spend the rest of my life with

1543
01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:58,320
Speaker 6: someone who doesn't think I'm mad enough because I didn't

1544
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 6: confront two of her previous spe icy sleep partners, or worse,

1545
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,120
Speaker 6: in my opinion, doesn't give a real crap one way

1546
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 6: or another about my well being.

1547
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 3: I know she feels the same way from her point

1548
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:08,480
Speaker 3: of view.

1549
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 6: I feel bad because I never wanted to be that

1550
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,960
Speaker 6: guy who was divorced, but honestly, I think this is

1551
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,120
Speaker 6: a breaking point for the both of us. I'm already

1552
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:17,080
Speaker 6: staying at my parents till we decide on how to

1553
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 6: split stuff up. Thank god we never had children, and

1554
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:23,960
Speaker 6: editing in some info. Obviously my inbox was blown up

1555
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,040
Speaker 6: over this. So there's just no way I can answer

1556
01:07:26,080 --> 01:07:28,720
Speaker 6: everyone individually. So I'm just gonna throw out some info

1557
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:29,600
Speaker 6: here to kind.

1558
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:30,400
Speaker 3: Of set the record straight.

1559
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:33,160
Speaker 6: Number one, No, she has never demanded anything before that

1560
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 6: was unreasonable. She has a hot temper, but up until

1561
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 6: now has never been able to get over something and

1562
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:40,720
Speaker 6: move on. Number two, No, I had no idea that

1563
01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:43,280
Speaker 6: she had slept with these two guys within an hour

1564
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:45,320
Speaker 6: of each other. So actually the two guys were there,

1565
01:07:45,320 --> 01:07:46,240
Speaker 6: it was guy number one.

1566
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:49,680
Speaker 3: Oh we know I'm saying it wasn't simultaneous.

1567
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:53,200
Speaker 6: It wasn't simultaneous, That's true, it was an hour apart.

1568
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,360
Speaker 6: She told me she had a wild past, asked me

1569
01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 6: if I wanted the details, and I declined. My only

1570
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,480
Speaker 6: stipulation about it was that it had to be in

1571
01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:03,160
Speaker 6: the past, as in the moment she and I became exclusive.

1572
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:05,520
Speaker 6: It could never happen outside of us in a relationship.

1573
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:08,920
Speaker 4: WHOA wait a minute, so this is also your fault, buddy.

1574
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:11,560
Speaker 3: She's like, I got a past. You want to hear it,

1575
01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:14,880
Speaker 3: and you go Nope, that's not how relationships work, dude.

1576
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 3: I mean when they're like serious, long term, committed relationships,

1577
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,599
Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, you should know about your partner's past.

1578
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:23,640
Speaker 8: No, I don't think so fully, like if they want

1579
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 8: to talk about it, Like there's some things like I

1580
01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:27,720
Speaker 8: want you for you and not about your past, and

1581
01:08:27,840 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 8: I yeah, I mean it's there's some there's some things

1582
01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:32,639
Speaker 8: like there's some details that you should include, like oh

1583
01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:35,560
Speaker 8: you did, like that's like an important thing. But I

1584
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:38,439
Speaker 8: don't think that's important to Opie's wife until now.

1585
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:40,840
Speaker 6: I feel like it's another gray area one. But I

1586
01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:44,080
Speaker 6: think there is like a middle ground where it's like, hey, look,

1587
01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:45,439
Speaker 6: I had a wild past.

1588
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:48,200
Speaker 3: I was out in these streets, getting in these sheets.

1589
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:50,640
Speaker 6: I'm happy to tell you more if you want, but

1590
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:52,000
Speaker 6: like I just wanted you to know.

1591
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 3: I want to have someone who's okay with that being

1592
01:08:54,160 --> 01:08:54,679
Speaker 3: my past.

1593
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:57,760
Speaker 6: Sure, and if the person is like okay, I can

1594
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,519
Speaker 6: internally clock I know that she's out.

1595
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:00,840
Speaker 3: I don't know the details.

1596
01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:03,080
Speaker 6: Maybe that's too much for me, but in general, I

1597
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:06,360
Speaker 6: feel like, ideally, I guess you do know, that's like

1598
01:09:06,400 --> 01:09:07,280
Speaker 6: the perfect scenario.

1599
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:10,639
Speaker 4: But yeah, it's just more about like just knowing your partner.

1600
01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:13,040
Speaker 3: It's not even about like being able to hold them

1601
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:15,240
Speaker 3: be like well remember when you did this. It's more

1602
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:17,840
Speaker 3: just like, well, like I don't know if I'm gonna

1603
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:19,679
Speaker 3: be married to somebody for the rest of my life.

1604
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:21,680
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, I think we should know. Let me

1605
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:25,240
Speaker 3: ask you this as like a pretty much everything about

1606
01:09:25,280 --> 01:09:27,360
Speaker 3: each other at that point, right like if we're committed

1607
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 3: to spending our lives together. Yeah, are you saying Are

1608
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:31,800
Speaker 3: you saying in the sense of like cause it's like

1609
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:34,519
Speaker 3: just in conversation like old stories are old people you've

1610
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,719
Speaker 3: dated like that like kind of comes up that way

1611
01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:39,040
Speaker 3: versus like all right, let me sit down and just

1612
01:09:39,120 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 3: like tell you every time.

1613
01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 7: I freaking yeah, I don't need that.

1614
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:42,519
Speaker 5: God.

1615
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,160
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not like a bulleted list. It's like

1616
01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 3: it's just it is what it is. It's like, yeah,

1617
01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:49,680
Speaker 3: that element is like, yeah, I would like to know

1618
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:54,200
Speaker 3: about that. I don't need the full psychological breakdown of

1619
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:56,200
Speaker 3: like every moment that happened, but.

1620
01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:58,120
Speaker 8: Just I think op was like I don't need to

1621
01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:00,200
Speaker 8: hear about that. I love you for you, like I

1622
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:02,559
Speaker 8: pass this past. But the thing is with the wife,

1623
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:05,679
Speaker 8: she was very openly honest about it, like, hey, I did,

1624
01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:08,400
Speaker 8: but past and it was like John said, I was

1625
01:10:08,520 --> 01:10:10,479
Speaker 8: freaking the sheets? Do you want to know about it?

1626
01:10:10,640 --> 01:10:14,000
Speaker 8: As long as the big main point was are you

1627
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:17,760
Speaker 8: you know, free of you know I say read letter

1628
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:21,560
Speaker 8: word as well. Yeah, just like your spicy sleep diseases,

1629
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:26,840
Speaker 8: you know, like spicy disease, spy spicy diseases. Like if

1630
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 8: you like are you are you like up front with that?

1631
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:30,680
Speaker 8: Are you honest about all of that? That's what I

1632
01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:32,360
Speaker 8: want to know. I don't I don't need to know

1633
01:10:32,400 --> 01:10:37,439
Speaker 8: about the nitty gritty details about everything, and said like

1634
01:10:37,520 --> 01:10:39,720
Speaker 8: I don't need to know that. But now this is

1635
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:42,360
Speaker 8: the thing where it's like, all right, you didn't choose that.

1636
01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 8: Now this is the consequences of you not knowing you

1637
01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:47,280
Speaker 8: kind of found out, like you got the sheets pulled

1638
01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:48,599
Speaker 8: right onto your feet kind of thing.

1639
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:49,479
Speaker 3: I think what.

1640
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:51,880
Speaker 8: Dutchess says is like, oh, there's gonna be people there

1641
01:10:51,880 --> 01:10:53,000
Speaker 8: that I have a history with. But I don't know

1642
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:55,519
Speaker 8: if she knew that or not. It's one of those

1643
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:58,280
Speaker 8: things like it's it's a sometimes the world. Sometimes the

1644
01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:01,880
Speaker 8: world's a small world. It does happen, never know. But

1645
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:05,760
Speaker 8: the way she's reacting is awful. That's on that's not

1646
01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:09,360
Speaker 8: on OP. That's your past, she's their op.

1647
01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:10,439
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

1648
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:12,479
Speaker 6: And I really liked I like truly, I liked how

1649
01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 6: OP came. And he's like, hey, look, I apologize, you know,

1650
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:18,240
Speaker 6: tell me, like help me learn like how you would

1651
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 6: want me to behave in those scenarios, and she just

1652
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,240
Speaker 6: like put down the wall. Didn't talk to him for

1653
01:11:23,280 --> 01:11:25,760
Speaker 6: four days anyways, But I'm gonna keep going here. So

1654
01:11:26,040 --> 01:11:28,519
Speaker 6: number four, setting the record straight. No, I was not

1655
01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:31,120
Speaker 6: involved in the conversation. No, I did not know anyone

1656
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:33,799
Speaker 6: there that night other than my wife and two mutual friends,

1657
01:11:33,880 --> 01:11:35,560
Speaker 6: one of which was in that conversation.

1658
01:11:36,240 --> 01:11:36,519
Speaker 3: Five.

1659
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:40,200
Speaker 6: No, I never actually knew that they were talking about her.

1660
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:42,559
Speaker 6: I made an assumption that it was her when our

1661
01:11:42,600 --> 01:11:46,000
Speaker 6: friend awkwardly jumped in trying to change the conversation. I

1662
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:48,040
Speaker 6: did not know for a fact it was her until

1663
01:11:48,080 --> 01:11:49,479
Speaker 6: she came storming at me.

1664
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:50,000
Speaker 3: Six.

1665
01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:53,320
Speaker 6: No, I don't blame the guy for telling my wife.

1666
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:56,880
Speaker 6: In my opinion, he wasn't tattling, so to speak. I

1667
01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:58,559
Speaker 6: think he was trying to give her a heads up,

1668
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 6: believe it or not, for my benefit, and I think

1669
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:03,439
Speaker 6: he was worried that I was going to be mad

1670
01:12:03,479 --> 01:12:05,920
Speaker 6: at her. That's another pieces like the guy who went

1671
01:12:06,040 --> 01:12:10,080
Speaker 6: and told Opie's wife right because he found out by

1672
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:13,160
Speaker 6: external third party. Going to op is like, oh, I

1673
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 6: overheard these guys talking to you.

1674
01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:14,639
Speaker 5: Guys.

1675
01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:17,000
Speaker 6: Let that be a freaking lesson. Sometimes you mind your

1676
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:19,360
Speaker 6: own business. Mind your business.

1677
01:12:19,479 --> 01:12:22,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is this is what good did you do

1678
01:12:22,160 --> 01:12:24,080
Speaker 3: by going and telling her these two guys were talking

1679
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:25,599
Speaker 3: about you in front of your husband. He's probably hate

1680
01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:27,960
Speaker 3: you now. This is like like, shut up, yeah, not

1681
01:12:28,080 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 3: your circus, not your monkeys. That's what they do be

1682
01:12:31,479 --> 01:12:32,200
Speaker 3: saying that a lot.

1683
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:36,280
Speaker 6: And guys, we have a third and final update, which

1684
01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:39,040
Speaker 6: I'm going to dive to right now. I had said

1685
01:12:39,040 --> 01:12:40,840
Speaker 6: that before my last post was going to be the

1686
01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:43,479
Speaker 6: final update, but I thought I would put out a quick,

1687
01:12:43,520 --> 01:12:47,080
Speaker 6: amended update. Divorce in my state was actually painless, easy

1688
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:50,160
Speaker 6: and quick. Neither of us contested anything, and what assets

1689
01:12:50,520 --> 01:12:52,000
Speaker 6: we had were easy to divide.

1690
01:12:51,800 --> 01:12:54,200
Speaker 3: Up and no children, so there was literally just some paperwork.

1691
01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:56,960
Speaker 6: Why the update though, well, not that it mattered to me,

1692
01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,680
Speaker 6: but just as I suspected, as soon as we separated,

1693
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 6: she went back to her old wild ways quote unquote

1694
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:06,240
Speaker 6: boy and has probably been through as many men in

1695
01:13:06,240 --> 01:13:10,160
Speaker 6: the past three months, as she did before we got together.

1696
01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:13,080
Speaker 6: Oh well, that sounds a little bitter. That sounds a

1697
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,800
Speaker 6: little bitter. Huh, it does, But it's also not a

1698
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:19,240
Speaker 6: good look, I guess. So is this another assumption? Though

1699
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:21,960
Speaker 6: it could be, is this another assumption? I think I

1700
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,519
Speaker 6: think Op might be actually more bothered by it than

1701
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:26,640
Speaker 6: he's letting off, and he didn't realize how bothered he was.

1702
01:13:26,680 --> 01:13:28,560
Speaker 3: I think it's starting to eat at him, starting to

1703
01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:31,920
Speaker 3: eat out, starting to eat way, like a little corrosive acid.

1704
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:32,800
Speaker 3: Just might be.

1705
01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:35,439
Speaker 6: However, I got a call from her father begging me

1706
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:38,519
Speaker 6: to reconsider, as he felt his daughter was spiraling out

1707
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:44,639
Speaker 6: of control. Yo, I've been hearing some stories and listen,

1708
01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:47,400
Speaker 6: I liked it better when it was you and her.

1709
01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:49,800
Speaker 4: And getting a call from the dad that's next level,

1710
01:13:50,400 --> 01:13:54,679
Speaker 4: Like please, yeah. Also, I've seen footage, I've heard stories.

1711
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:56,080
Speaker 3: I've heard these stories.

1712
01:13:56,360 --> 01:14:00,040
Speaker 6: Please now, I really like him, the dad, and I

1713
01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:02,040
Speaker 6: holds him. I felt bad for what happened, but after

1714
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:04,200
Speaker 6: I explained her argument and my stance on how she

1715
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:07,240
Speaker 6: didn't care about me or my safety, he understood. I

1716
01:14:07,280 --> 01:14:09,559
Speaker 6: agreed with him that she's probably going to have some

1717
01:14:09,680 --> 01:14:11,920
Speaker 6: kind of mental breakdown, but as of this past week,

1718
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:16,160
Speaker 6: it is officially no longer problem. By the way, what

1719
01:14:16,240 --> 01:14:18,799
Speaker 6: I didn't tell him was the very vulgar and insulting

1720
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:21,720
Speaker 6: text messages she sent me. The photos of her with

1721
01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:25,360
Speaker 6: other guys she sent me. I just figure, why making it?

1722
01:14:25,479 --> 01:14:30,559
Speaker 3: You haven't see this guy really is the unbothered guy Literally,

1723
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:34,040
Speaker 3: like his ex wife sends him pictures with other dudes

1724
01:14:34,040 --> 01:14:35,800
Speaker 3: and he's like, Hey, what are you gonna do? What

1725
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:37,680
Speaker 3: she's I don't want to put the dad through that.

1726
01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:41,679
Speaker 3: Why do I care? She's my ex wife? Yeah. Also,

1727
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:43,599
Speaker 3: I could send those to you dead, but I won't

1728
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:43,760
Speaker 3: do that.

1729
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:46,200
Speaker 6: But he didn't and will not send him but like

1730
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:48,920
Speaker 6: inform him. Probably well, I think I think it was

1731
01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:51,599
Speaker 6: like just like selfies. From the sound of it, Dad's

1732
01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:54,519
Speaker 6: already aware what's going on. It sounds like daddy, Daddy

1733
01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:59,519
Speaker 6: knows the thing. Daddy knows the thing. Oh please, now,

1734
01:14:59,560 --> 01:15:01,960
Speaker 6: after all of this, can you believe last night she

1735
01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:03,760
Speaker 6: had the goal to show up at my doors and

1736
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:06,400
Speaker 6: my new apartment crying about having lost me and how

1737
01:15:06,439 --> 01:15:08,599
Speaker 6: bad things are for her and how nobody loved her.

1738
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:11,639
Speaker 6: Blah blah blah blah. Whoa not gonna lie. I wasn't

1739
01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:14,439
Speaker 6: expecting that. But what I was expecting, what I'm always

1740
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:16,920
Speaker 6: expecting is for you to listen to full episodes of

1741
01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:17,800
Speaker 6: stories just like this.

1742
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:19,280
Speaker 3: That's what I always expected to happen.

1743
01:15:19,320 --> 01:15:19,639
Speaker 5: Dakota.

1744
01:15:19,720 --> 01:15:22,160
Speaker 3: Where do they do that? Fotify alf podcasts, wherever you

1745
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:24,240
Speaker 3: get your podcasts from? And what do they search? The

1746
01:15:24,280 --> 01:15:26,400
Speaker 3: coy guy search is okay, story.

1747
01:15:26,160 --> 01:15:30,519
Speaker 6: Time search it indulge for ten thousand hours straight. I'm

1748
01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:32,360
Speaker 6: gonna look up and see how many hours of podcast

1749
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,280
Speaker 6: content we have, because I know it's ridiculous.

1750
01:15:34,680 --> 01:15:36,800
Speaker 3: I just got way sadder for the ex wife.

1751
01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:39,599
Speaker 6: So as we come to a close here, just putting

1752
01:15:39,640 --> 01:15:41,599
Speaker 6: a bow on this story before we staw at the end.

1753
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:42,800
Speaker 3: We don't know what's gonna happen.

1754
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:45,160
Speaker 6: I just got I said, Kean, I got a lot

1755
01:15:45,400 --> 01:15:49,679
Speaker 6: sadder for the ex wife after that last desperately showing

1756
01:15:49,760 --> 01:15:52,679
Speaker 6: up at your ex husband's door saying you've you lost

1757
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:55,600
Speaker 6: him and no one loves you, and then he goes and.

1758
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:58,960
Speaker 3: Blah blah blah blah blah. It's like I feel bad

1759
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:02,639
Speaker 3: for her because she had as she has worked herself

1760
01:16:02,920 --> 01:16:05,160
Speaker 3: out of the marriage, she probably needed.

1761
01:16:05,560 --> 01:16:08,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, and and you know what, maybe she has. Maybe

1762
01:16:08,479 --> 01:16:11,519
Speaker 6: I'm digging too deep, maybe I'm crazy, but maybe she

1763
01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:14,799
Speaker 6: has some self esteem issues around all of this stuff.

1764
01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:18,759
Speaker 6: And that's why, you know, like I would bet effecting

1765
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:21,360
Speaker 6: it back. I bet every dollar I ever made in

1766
01:16:21,439 --> 01:16:22,639
Speaker 6: my entire life.

1767
01:16:22,760 --> 01:16:25,680
Speaker 8: It probably just when she had that conversation, or that

1768
01:16:25,760 --> 01:16:27,920
Speaker 8: she overheard the conversation those guys were having.

1769
01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:30,240
Speaker 7: Seeing those guys again.

1770
01:16:30,240 --> 01:16:33,280
Speaker 8: It triggered something inside of her that she probably just

1771
01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:36,840
Speaker 8: dug away or put away, and boom came back with

1772
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:40,120
Speaker 8: a flurry of emotions and a flurry of other things.

1773
01:16:40,240 --> 01:16:44,080
Speaker 3: She just needs, like she really needs therapy, she needs help.

1774
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:47,160
Speaker 3: But yeah, let's uh, let's say we close this one out. Boy,

1775
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,800
Speaker 3: let's finish it. Let's take her.

1776
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:54,560
Speaker 6: All she would have to do was right after the

1777
01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:57,560
Speaker 6: argument we had, was say any of these things, and

1778
01:16:57,840 --> 01:16:59,880
Speaker 6: I would have stuck it out and tried my best

1779
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:02,519
Speaker 6: to move forward with her. But between that argument and

1780
01:17:02,680 --> 01:17:04,760
Speaker 6: knowing that she has slept with half the town again

1781
01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:08,120
Speaker 6: in the past three months, man, I just have nothing

1782
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:08,600
Speaker 6: left for her.

1783
01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:10,760
Speaker 3: That is fair, fair enough.

1784
01:17:11,320 --> 01:17:13,360
Speaker 6: I told her that I was sorry it didn't work out,

1785
01:17:13,479 --> 01:17:15,120
Speaker 6: but we are now officially divorced.

1786
01:17:15,360 --> 01:17:17,920
Speaker 3: She just needs to move on. The water work started flowing,

1787
01:17:18,040 --> 01:17:21,320
Speaker 3: and I actually believe she was having something mentally wrong.

1788
01:17:21,160 --> 01:17:23,840
Speaker 6: With her, because she was almost hysterical. I called her

1789
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:25,519
Speaker 6: dad to come and get her and walked her to

1790
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:27,559
Speaker 6: his car. I told him what happened, and I think

1791
01:17:27,600 --> 01:17:29,439
Speaker 6: he was actually trying to take her to get a

1792
01:17:29,520 --> 01:17:30,920
Speaker 6: mental evaluation at the ER.

1793
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:33,960
Speaker 3: I harbor no hatred for her. I hope she gets help,

1794
01:17:34,120 --> 01:17:37,120
Speaker 3: but we are over and we both just need to

1795
01:17:37,200 --> 01:17:37,479
Speaker 3: move on.

1796
01:17:37,800 --> 01:17:38,000
Speaker 5: Yep.

1797
01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:40,920
Speaker 3: I think that final sentence kind of sums up. That's

1798
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:41,599
Speaker 3: it everything.

1799
01:17:41,760 --> 01:17:45,040
Speaker 6: That final sentence was what happened to me when you

1800
01:17:45,240 --> 01:17:48,840
Speaker 6: were reading the tagline. It was me realizing, oh wait,

1801
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:51,960
Speaker 6: I don't actually hate this woman, and she's kind of

1802
01:17:52,080 --> 01:17:56,080
Speaker 6: also a victim of herself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah,

1803
01:17:56,280 --> 01:17:57,960
Speaker 6: just made it. I was like, oh, it's actually way

1804
01:17:58,000 --> 01:17:59,880
Speaker 6: more complicated. I guess I just hope she has helped.

1805
01:18:00,200 --> 01:18:02,840
Speaker 6: I feel for her, but that doesn't alleviate her of

1806
01:18:02,960 --> 01:18:07,200
Speaker 6: her responsibility correct to how her feelings project on others,

1807
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:10,519
Speaker 6: you know, her past. Yeah, all of that also sounds

1808
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:11,960
Speaker 6: like Dad needed to be more on top of the

1809
01:18:12,280 --> 01:18:12,840
Speaker 6: mental health.

1810
01:18:13,479 --> 01:18:15,200
Speaker 3: I don't know he's getting involved now. I don't know.

1811
01:18:15,360 --> 01:18:16,400
Speaker 3: I'll say at least that.

1812
01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:19,160
Speaker 8: At least we can't just jump to conclusions because we

1813
01:18:19,200 --> 01:18:22,320
Speaker 8: don't know the extent of like what people knew and what.

1814
01:18:22,439 --> 01:18:23,320
Speaker 7: She told and all that.

1815
01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:26,120
Speaker 6: Because maybe maybe he feels like Dad new. I don't

1816
01:18:26,120 --> 01:18:27,400
Speaker 6: know it feels like Dad new, which is why he

1817
01:18:27,439 --> 01:18:29,360
Speaker 6: called the husband. He's like, please, we'll take your back.

1818
01:18:29,479 --> 01:18:33,160
Speaker 6: This only spun out after they got divorced. So maybe

1819
01:18:33,280 --> 01:18:35,200
Speaker 6: if he was like, this is not the first spinout.

1820
01:18:35,240 --> 01:18:36,920
Speaker 6: We don't know that, you know, she spun out.

1821
01:18:37,160 --> 01:18:40,760
Speaker 3: He said they were good before in the relationship. I'm

1822
01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:43,240
Speaker 3: not talking about in the relationship, talking about pre relationship. Oh,

1823
01:18:43,479 --> 01:18:46,880
Speaker 3: Dad probably saw the og wild wild times could be.

1824
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:49,479
Speaker 4: I was like, we can't do it again.

1825
01:18:49,720 --> 01:18:51,960
Speaker 6: He's a full grown adult woman who was married. No no, no,

1826
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:53,800
Speaker 6: no no no no no no no no no no

1827
01:18:53,840 --> 01:18:56,320
Speaker 6: no no no no no no, take your back, that's

1828
01:18:56,320 --> 01:18:57,760
Speaker 6: what he said. He's like, no, no, no, please, I

1829
01:18:57,800 --> 01:18:58,880
Speaker 6: don't want to take care of anymore.

1830
01:18:58,880 --> 01:19:00,800
Speaker 3: You take care of this before. Could have gone either way.

1831
01:19:00,840 --> 01:19:02,439
Speaker 3: I don't know if the dad that was the vibe

1832
01:19:02,479 --> 01:19:03,840
Speaker 3: to me. That could have been good, that could have

1833
01:19:03,880 --> 01:19:06,280
Speaker 3: been bad. Dad was like, she's your problem. Now you

1834
01:19:06,520 --> 01:19:08,160
Speaker 3: have to take care if you love us.

1835
01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:13,360
Speaker 6: Make sure to subscribe we Love you and see it tomorrow.