1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in a. 3 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: Rub dub dub and the tub. 4 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 3: Sounds Happy Valentine's Day, Happy. 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: Galentine's Day and happy are you going to be home 6 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 1: for Galentine's Day? What's what are you doing today? 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 4: I think I should be Yeah, yeah, I think I 8 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 4: should be all day. I think so all day, all night, 9 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 4: maybe the night. The day is young Gallentine's Day. Remember 10 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 4: in uh twenty twenty Valentine's Day. 11 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,159 Speaker 1: Where we were I do We were at the Roxy 12 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: with all of our scrubbers. Yes, we were live, scrubbing 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 1: in good time. 14 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 3: Scrubbing in live, the last, the second and the last 15 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 3: last shrub to ever be live. 16 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. 17 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 3: Maybe one day, maybe, one day we'll bring that back. 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 5: I'm curious about this toilet story. It's been bugging me 19 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 5: for a couple of days now. Is there something there 20 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 5: that we should be talking about? 21 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 2: It was expected etiquette from Tonya, if I'm being honest, 22 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 2: that was all. 23 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 1: That's all allow. I just wanted you to know that 24 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: I had not gone to the bathroom for two days 25 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 1: when I'm traveling, I for some reason just like backed up, 26 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: and I had a situation where I had to like 27 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: run to the toilet if you pick up when I'm 28 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: thrown down, And it wasn't pleasant, and I flush her, 29 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: flush her down. But Becca is like claiming that there 30 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 1: was still like toilet paper and stuff in the toilet. 31 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: But I definitely know I flushed it twice. It was 32 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: not nice. 33 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not It's not. 34 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: The splitter splatter. 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 2: The thing is I was as ill. I was like 36 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 2: I was ill, Like I literally was so nauseous. So 37 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 2: I go and I'm like, that's the last thing I 38 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 2: want to see. And also like did she not see it? 39 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 3: Like did she not? 40 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: Did she like what it was like in the water? 41 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,799 Speaker 1: Not gonna stick my hand and like scrub around the water? 42 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 5: Oh she left skid marks? Yeah, is that what you're saying. 43 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 3: That's a nice way I'm saying, Oh my. 44 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 1: Gosh, put my hand in the water, in the toilet water. 45 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 2: No. 46 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: I flushed it twice to try and remove as much 47 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: as I could, But I was not putting my bare hand. 48 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 3: Raw dog, you know, the toilet toilet paper, and you 49 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 3: like it. 50 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 5: Was under the water and then you do it as 51 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,119 Speaker 5: the water's down. 52 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 2: Oh, like, is Robbie just like having to just Robbie, 53 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 2: What the hell? 54 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,119 Speaker 1: I don't get ill like that on a regular basis. 55 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: And I also have tools and my home that I 56 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: can wash with if I need to. There were no said, 57 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: There were no said tools in me. 58 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 2: But she says, she. 59 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:06,399 Speaker 3: Goes, did you not flush? I go by the way, 60 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,959 Speaker 3: you did not bush. 61 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 2: And she goes, yes, I did. I go no, there 62 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 2: was still toilet paper and she goes no. He's like 63 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 2: there was still and she goes, oh, like the spotter. 64 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 3: And I'm like, so you saw me. 65 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 2: I left it knowing we were sharing a bathroom, and 66 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:23,399 Speaker 2: I am ill. 67 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: Crazy, What did you expect? 68 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:30,519 Speaker 3: Told you. 69 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: I was not well, and so I'm not. I didn't 70 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: think clearly to like flush, let the water go down, 71 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: and then scrub a dub dub. I was not in 72 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: a scrub a dub dub mood. Okay, I was. 73 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 5: Common courtesy when sharing about those ladies going in that 74 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 5: I had sweet conversations with the night before having to 75 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 5: go in there, maybe thinking it was me because I 76 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 5: was in the room. 77 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: Sweet ladies. 78 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, the ladies too cleaned up her. 79 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: Oh I thought you met our friends. I was like, no, 80 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: what was I gonna say? 81 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 2: Oh? 82 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: I did want to say though. It was actually really 83 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: cute because when we were flying back home back to 84 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 1: lax from Mexico, unlike the women who saw us flying 85 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: there and we're like, oh marriage, this guy looks at 86 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 1: me with like my sash and my thing and he 87 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,479 Speaker 1: was like what did he say? Exactly? 88 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 3: He's the best thing you'll every thing you'll. 89 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: Ever do, and when you have kids it's going to 90 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,279 Speaker 1: be even better. 91 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 2: Nice. 92 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: So nice. 93 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 5: You went full sash full, NonStop both ways. That's great. 94 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: Ways we got We got. 95 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:42,039 Speaker 3: Like multiple veils and sashes. Selection. 96 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,359 Speaker 1: I was actually upset that I didn't I forgot on 97 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 1: the boat because I didn't know where we were going. 98 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: I was upset that I didn't bring my sashes in 99 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,119 Speaker 1: my veil. That would have been epic. 100 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 3: Hmm, it wasn't more lack of options. 101 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,839 Speaker 1: Should have worn one to work today? 102 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 3: Honestly, why not tomorrow? 103 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: The week is still young. 104 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 3: We do have a Dear Bonya episode, so we go. 105 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 3: Let's begin from Tea. 106 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,720 Speaker 5: Hello, Tanya, Becka, Mark and Easton. I'm a huge fan 107 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 5: of the pod and one of the rare male scrubbers, 108 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 5: and boy do I have an alama. I like advice 109 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 5: on long story short. My husband and I are separated. 110 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 5: We're cordial in all, but no chance of getting back together. 111 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 5: I have a friend who's in a different state. We've 112 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 5: been good friends for about twelve years. We are frett 113 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,919 Speaker 5: brothers in college. I came out at twenty three and 114 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 5: he told me, I wish you'd told me sooner. I've 115 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 5: always wanted to be with you. We are both in 116 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 5: the closet and in the same fraternity very twenty eleven behavior, 117 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 5: but we've always remained in touched, and to be quite honest, 118 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 5: I love him also. To preface, he is not the 119 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 5: reason for the divorce with make her and husband. A 120 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 5: part of me wants to leave California to pursue this 121 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 5: is this crazy. I'm sure i can find a job 122 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 5: and everything out there. I'm not worried about that. I'm 123 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 5: just afraid to do something so drastic. Any advice would 124 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 5: be appreciated. Love you all, and FYI, Tanya. A vodkatonic 125 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,559 Speaker 5: deserves to be drank with a straw. Let's cut Robbie 126 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 5: a break lots. 127 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 3: I love it. I love a male scrub. 128 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: I know, honored, honored t. 129 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 2: My suggestion is you don't pick up and move your life. 130 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 2: I think you date get to know each other long distance. 131 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 2: You already know each other, but you can re get 132 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: to know each other on a romantic level now that 133 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 2: you're both in that position to do so, and go 134 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 2: and make trips where you see each other and stay 135 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 2: with each other and really get to know each other 136 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 2: emotionally with the distance, and then you make that decision. 137 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 3: It's a big it's a big move. 138 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 1: T SO T T T T. I'm going to the 139 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 1: opposite Oh you said here, you were fraternity brothers, so 140 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: you already know him. You've already established this is not 141 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: some stranger danger. To be honest, I love him. This 142 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: is someone that you love. If you can get a 143 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: job out there, why the hell not. Life is short 144 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: and long. Why not give it? 145 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 3: But why not do a couple of visits and make 146 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 3: sure it's really there and like and be together a 147 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 3: long distance before you pick up and move your life. 148 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 5: Because then it's for him. If you go out a 149 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 5: couple of times and they say, Okay, I've decided I'm 150 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 5: moving to North Carolina or wherever it is right, that 151 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 5: puts a ton of pressure on the relationship if he 152 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 5: just happens like in his mind he knows what he's doing. 153 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 5: But to the other guy, I'm just moving to North Carolina. 154 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 5: I got a job up there. 155 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 156 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 5: We when we go on sometime, there's no pressure on 157 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 5: the relationship. 158 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 3: There is not really. 159 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's still moving forward, picking up his whole life 160 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 2: to move or something that he doesn't even know is 161 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 2: gonna work. 162 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. If this were a job, 163 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: we would tell him to fly out and. 164 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 3: Move it out, start a job. It's not a job. 165 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: Why should we not act with our hearts at about 166 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: a job, buying around thing. You can to get the 167 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: job of your dreams, but not the man of your dreams. 168 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to live in a world like that. 169 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,239 Speaker 3: I do, I'm not. You can't base your whole life 170 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 3: around a person. 171 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: You can base your whole life around a job. 172 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 3: I don't think you should do that either, Well, society does. 173 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 3: I'm just saying I think and that I think. 174 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 2: The truth is is that if Robbie lived in Ohio 175 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 2: in a farm, not not even in a farm in Ohio, 176 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 2: and you had been friends with him, and then he 177 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 2: he was like, I love you and you're like, I 178 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 2: love you that you would not move your life from 179 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 2: what you are doing now and who you are friends 180 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 2: with now to the middle of nowhere, Ohio. 181 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 1: If I got if I could keep my job, no, no, 182 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: you can't get Tea can get a job out there. 183 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 5: You could get a job out there, but you couldn't 184 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 5: have this job. 185 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 6: Yeah. 186 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: Well, if I could get a job that's equally distant, 187 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: equal whatever, comparable, comparable, comparable, then yeah I would. You 188 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: could leave all of you would leave all. 189 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 3: Of us for a man you don't even know. 190 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 5: Your parents in southern California. 191 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 1: Very guys. They can always move around. We can all move. 192 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,000 Speaker 1: We're all nomads at the end of the day. 193 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 2: I would feel very abandoned if you did that. If 194 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 2: you were like, I'm picking up I'm moving for this 195 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 2: one man. 196 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: Well guess what I'm not. 197 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 3: But you're encouraging Tea to do that. 198 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 5: And in terms of Tea, I think if t has 199 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 5: best friends, question, what is keeping you here in California? 200 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 5: Do you have family here? Do you have friends here? 201 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 5: Do you have a social network here? 202 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 3: Yes? 203 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 5: I think that's a good question. 204 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: If Tea is a total owner, has no friends here, 205 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: hates his job here and this could be the start 206 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: of a new Well. 207 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 2: He didn't say that, So we're just going off of 208 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 2: what we're just assuming. 209 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 1: Well, you're assuming wrong, You're you don't know, you don't know. 210 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: I'm preparing for the worst. 211 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 3: Here's the thing. T If you're like, what is keeping 212 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 3: me in LA? 213 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 2: I don't have friend groups, I'm not like attached here, 214 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 2: I'm not connected here, then I say go for it. 215 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 3: If you have a life that you love. 216 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 2: In LA and the only thing that you're thinking about 217 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 2: moving for is this guy that you haven't been in 218 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 2: a relationship with before, I would slow it down, do 219 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 2: the distance thing, get to know each other on the 220 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 2: romantic level. And then if you're like this is the 221 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,839 Speaker 2: this is it, he's the one, you go. 222 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 3: That's what I think. 223 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 5: He might be looking for a change after a divorce, 224 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 5: and sometimes good to kind of start clean, whether it's 225 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 5: for the guy or not. 226 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 3: All right, next, no loyalty, just pick up and go. 227 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 1: Life is short and long. 228 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. But if I was like, I'm moving and I'm 229 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 2: going to Nashville because I met some of the love 230 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,000 Speaker 2: of my life, you. 231 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 3: Would be so you'd be like, you're gonna move for 232 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 3: one person? 233 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, if you met this person on Hinge, but not 234 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: somebody that you went to college with and. 235 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 3: You knew and you were I wouldn't. 236 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: Do it for Robbie. When if I met him on Hinge, 237 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,839 Speaker 1: should I ask you? If you say no? 238 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:06,680 Speaker 5: You said yes, you said That's exactly the quote right there. 239 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: They know each other. This isn't a stranger, but Robbie's 240 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 1: was a stranger. Trying to compare the situations and it 241 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: just wasn't comparable. 242 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,959 Speaker 5: Comparable. All right, let's move on. Hello ladies, thank you 243 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 5: for always brightening my day with the podcast. Whenever I 244 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 5: need an escape or a smile, I can rely on 245 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 5: you all. I was in a year long relationship until 246 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 5: he decided to end it abruptly out of the blue. 247 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 5: We met on Hinge. He lived fifteen minutes for me. 248 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 5: Things were so positive, healthy, open, the chemistry amazing. His 249 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 5: values and life goes aligned perfectly with mine. Back in September, 250 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 5: he brought bought a house an hour away from me. 251 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 5: Before he moved, he consulted me and kept asking if 252 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 5: I would break up with him because it was too far. 253 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 5: I said no, I'd never do that. We ended up 254 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 5: doing all the home projects together. To the point where 255 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 5: he even put the handles on the cabinets at my 256 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 5: height I'm short, because he anticipated me eventually moving in 257 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 5: with him when we moved. When he moved, he asked 258 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 5: if I could break my lease, but I wasn't ready 259 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 5: for that, as we'd only been together five months. He 260 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 5: even told his mom that I'd eventually been moving in 261 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 5: with him when my lease was up, and we talked 262 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 5: about doing spring projects together. Fast forward to the breakup. 263 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 5: We had not seen each other for two weeks because 264 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 5: of the holidays and things shifted. His explanation was, we 265 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 5: had lost our spark. We don't feel as connected. I 266 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 5: told him how I felt because I'd fallen in love 267 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 5: with him, but he was not saying anything, so I 268 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 5: could tell his feelings were not the same. I asked 269 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,199 Speaker 5: him if there was someone else, because they seemed so abrupt, 270 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 5: and he just kept saying no, no, no, we just lost 271 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 5: our spark, but he didn't deny there was someone else. 272 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,959 Speaker 5: A few weeks later, I found out there was someone 273 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 5: else and they're spending more time together. I'm just looking 274 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 5: for advice on how to move on from this. I'm 275 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 5: almost thirty and thought he was and clearly he was 276 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 5: not my person, but man, was my intuition so wrong 277 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 5: about him when I truly thought I was going to 278 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 5: marry him. I've gotten back into working out, but any 279 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 5: tips or advised would be helpful to fill the void. 280 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 5: I'm just trying to find my person and I hate 281 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 5: that I miss him all the time when he's happy 282 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 5: over there with his new girl. 283 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: I haven't easy short term solution. There's this book called 284 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: Calling in the One and it requires a lot of 285 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 1: time downtime, and you have that right now, so it's 286 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: like internal work, it's therapy, and you have to do 287 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 1: it every single day. To me, this sounds like a 288 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 1: perfect exercise for you to do in the short term. 289 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 5: Because you're up breaking habits, breaking. 290 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 1: Cycles, breaking habits, putting stuff into the universe, manifesting and 291 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 1: it does. It's it's like girthy. It takes time and 292 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: energy and effort, and you're putting it to back into 293 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:40,679 Speaker 1: yourself to grow, to learn to blossom. So that's how 294 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 1: for me, that's how I would feel the void currently 295 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 1: for the next seven weeks. 296 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 2: Is it weird to go for like two weeks during 297 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 2: the holidays where you don't I guess if you don't 298 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 2: see each other if you're like traveling and stuff, but 299 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 2: to not be like talking consistently enough. 300 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: Well, she didn't say that they weren't talking. 301 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, she said we had not oh yeah, not seen 302 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 2: each other. But that's when things shifted. So I guess 303 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 2: he maybe connected with this new girl. Well this isn't 304 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 2: your guy. 305 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: No, she knows as how to feel the void. 306 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:14,319 Speaker 2: I think you just know that if you felt, I 307 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 2: think it's just let yourself heal and there's gonna be 308 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 2: parts about that that just suck. Like I think sometimes. 309 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 3: It's like. 310 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 2: There's this rush to get through things, and sometimes you 311 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 2: can't rush moving on from someone. I definitely don't think 312 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 2: you need to look at his Instagram and stuff like 313 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 2: maybe uh, I don't know what happens that you can't 314 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 2: make him block her, but you just meete him. Just 315 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 2: make sure you don't like naturally see his stuff and 316 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 2: try not to go find it, even though I know 317 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 2: that's hard because if you see them together, you're reminded 318 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 2: of it. 319 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 3: That's just gonna set you back. 320 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: People say to just like move on and like do 321 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 1: stuff to like better yourself and fill your time, but 322 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: like I'm a true fan of feeling your feelings and 323 00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: if you need to look in the mirror and cry, Like, 324 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: look in the mirror and cry. 325 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, Like let yourself just be bummed 326 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 2: and hurt about it, and also surround yourself with people 327 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 2: and things that you love, because that's like you have 328 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 2: to keep living. And you're gonna have a moment when 329 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 2: you go like, oh my gosh, I haven't thought of 330 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 2: him in so long, and it's gonna be the best 331 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 2: feeling ever. I remember there was this guy that had 332 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 2: the biggest crush on for years, you yeah, And I 333 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 2: was like, I will never get over him, you know who? 334 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 2: And I was like, I will never get over him. 335 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 2: And then I remember there was this moment and I 336 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 2: was like I thought about him and I go, oh 337 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 2: my gosh, I don't remember the last time I thought 338 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 2: about him, and and it was the best feeling ever 339 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 2: because in my mind, I thought I would never be 340 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 2: able to like not think about him, and like it's funny, 341 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 2: it's like laughable now because it was so unserious, but. 342 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 3: I was just so attached to that crush. 343 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 2: And you're gonna have that moment, and in the meantime, 344 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 2: you can fill your time with the thing and. 345 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 3: People you love. 346 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 2: If you are able to like go travel to places, 347 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 2: even if it's like a little road trip away where 348 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 2: you listen to your favorite songs and go be somewhere 349 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 2: that is beautiful. 350 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 3: You know, just do things that things that you love 351 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 3: to do. 352 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 2: Even without a person, even without a significant other, or 353 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 2: make that to do list. 354 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: Of like dreams, goals, vision board. But that's also in 355 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 1: calling in the one. 356 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 3: So you know, yeah, I feel like they got everything. 357 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, that was good advice, Begga, it was. I thought 358 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 5: that was really good advice. I'm not saying yours. Wasn't 359 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 5: that you're saying, bead because we all have that that 360 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 5: that breakup that was so often. Oh that was it. 361 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 5: She was the one. That's the one that got away. No, 362 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 5: she wasn't. No that you never think about her ever again. 363 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 5: When the right thing comes along, it's just a memory 364 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 5: and just time, just time. One thing I want to 365 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 5: get to after the break. We break, so you guys 366 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 5: can discuss who you're talking about. 367 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 2: Uh. 368 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 5: Marina has questions about the podcast. I like the BTS question. 369 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, we'll be back. All right, we are back. 370 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 2: So we have some bts questions from Marina. 371 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 5: Yeah, hello, y'all are the best. The dynamic between the 372 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 5: four of you is unmatched. Random email, But I have 373 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,480 Speaker 5: but a day one Scrubber, and I'm genuinely curious on 374 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 5: some of the inner workings of the podcast if you 375 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 5: don't mind sharing. You guys mentioned you attempted to rename 376 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 5: the podcast and it didn't work out. Why not and 377 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,360 Speaker 5: what would you rename it? 378 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 3: We wanted to rename it? Is this the recent thing 379 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 3: that we talked about. 380 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 1: I don't know, but okay, I think. 381 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,200 Speaker 2: That No, yeah, no we can't because it's still someday 382 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 2: in the future. 383 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: We will do it. 384 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 5: Well, start a new one or rename this one. 385 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 2: We tried to renamed this one, but we got shot 386 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 2: down by the company. 387 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, because you build familiar equity or I don't know what. 388 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was just like a whole thing and we 389 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,879 Speaker 2: were like, Okay, it's not topic. 390 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 5: It doesn't really represent the show much anymore. 391 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: Correct, right, But it's like that was the point. 392 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,360 Speaker 3: But our listeners are Scrubber, so I get it. There's 393 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 3: like this attachment to the concept and the name. 394 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:24,399 Speaker 2: What. 395 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,200 Speaker 5: I feel bad for the listeners because they have my 396 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 5: favorite podcast scrub again. Oh really, what's it about? 397 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 2: Well, these two girls and these two guys, why are 398 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 2: they doctors? 399 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 4: No? 400 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 3: Clean the dentist. 401 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 5: No, nothing like that. It's complicated. Yeah. 402 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,640 Speaker 3: Anyways, yeah the name. 403 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: If we had way, we would have renamed it. 404 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,360 Speaker 3: And it's so good. But we can't disclose. 405 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: It because we will do it one day, yeah, full faith, 406 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 1: and we will do it one day. 407 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 5: Where you guys take breaks, how long do you actually break? 408 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,439 Speaker 5: Do you talk and discuss topic moving forward or is 409 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 5: just a quick and talking for the ads to be inserted. 410 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,399 Speaker 5: And by the way, Tanya trying to break it the 411 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 5: wrong times is my favorite thing. 412 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 2: They're like super long commercial breaks. We talk about all 413 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 2: of our future. 414 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 5: We listened to the commercials with you write down our 415 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 5: favorite spots just to make sure we buy. 416 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,120 Speaker 6: Or the whole time. 417 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,919 Speaker 2: They are like five to ten seconds and then we 418 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 2: come back. So but Tanya trying to break it the 419 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 2: wrong time is also one of my favorite things. Become 420 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 2: a thing. 421 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 5: It's very funny. It's funny because well, anyway, we've talked 422 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 5: about this, but but the one that we just did 423 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 5: a little while ago, we broke tiny something back, like 424 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 5: did you ever go to that thing back, It's like, yeah, 425 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 5: what to the thing? Oh yeah, cool, okay, here we go, 426 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,159 Speaker 5: come back. It was it. 427 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: It was just five seconds, yeah, about five seconds, five 428 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: to ten seconds. 429 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 5: Do you guys ever listen to the episodes? 430 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,199 Speaker 2: I've listened to some, but not. I don't listen to 431 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 2: every week at like at all. 432 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,360 Speaker 1: No, I definitely don't listen every week. I listened to some. 433 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: I definitely listen usually when I'm off, like when I'm 434 00:19:55,760 --> 00:20:00,159 Speaker 1: not on. Yeah, just to like, you know, you and 435 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 1: Robbie's episode that you did together. 436 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, listen to the I listened back to the one 437 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 2: when Haley and I went public. 438 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,399 Speaker 3: But it's almost like you're. 439 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 2: I don't know, you're it's almost like you're seeing an 440 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 2: episode of something that you already saw, and it's. 441 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 1: Like fresh for me, and this is maybe a double 442 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,679 Speaker 1: edged sword or I don't know if that's what I 443 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 1: really meant. But if I listened back to these, I 444 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 1: surely would not. I would get anxiety about, Yes, like 445 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: I would think and I would get in my head 446 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: about like what I'm sharing and what I'm saying and 447 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,679 Speaker 1: how I'm saying it, and I feel like that's bad 448 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: for me. Like I just feel like I would just 449 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 1: become a shell of myself. So I think it's better 450 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: for me not to watch or listen. 451 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 5: Yeah. 452 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,959 Speaker 3: Yeah. I also don't like hearing my voice. 453 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,719 Speaker 2: Like sometimes Haley's watching my Instagram stories and I'm like, 454 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,120 Speaker 2: what do you Why turn that off? 455 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 3: But why is the sound on? And she's like, oh, 456 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,600 Speaker 3: like if it's an AD or something, She's like, I 457 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 3: just wanted to watch so you guys can get the view. 458 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 3: And I'm like, put this sound. 459 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,760 Speaker 5: Keep watching an interesting phenomenon. 460 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I don't need to listen to it. 461 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, I get that. 462 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 3: But something else I was gonna say about listen, Oh. 463 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 2: It would be fun to go and listen to like 464 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 2: all episodes, I bet, because that would feel like brand 465 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 2: new to us. 466 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 5: That's true. Uh yeah, there's a I used to do 467 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 5: that Who Wants to Be a Millionaire show at Disneyland, 468 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 5: And there's an episode on YouTube I just found out recently. 469 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 5: And watching yourself and having no idea what you were 470 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,879 Speaker 5: about to say is very jarring. It's weird. It's a 471 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 5: weird experience. 472 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: I cannot rewatch, especially stuff on TV that I do, 473 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:38,199 Speaker 1: because you pick yourself apart. It's like so dark and like, 474 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 1: I just think it's like a human nature that we 475 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 1: do it. And I know a lot of people that 476 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: are like in the industry that like watch back and 477 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: they like fixate on like even just like physical stuff, 478 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 1: let alone, like not how they're acting or how they're 479 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: saying it, you know, And I'm like, I just don't. 480 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 1: I just don't find it healthy. 481 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 5: We have a lot of podcast hosts that that asked 482 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 5: to listen to them before they're released and then they 483 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,440 Speaker 5: send fifty edits because I didn't like when I said that, 484 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 5: I like, it's not my laugh there, and I was like, no, 485 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 5: best to raw Dog. 486 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:05,239 Speaker 3: Well, I'll say like that. 487 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 2: There are times where I the next question is like 488 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 2: do you ever do you ever end it and ask 489 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 2: like why do you say that? 490 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,880 Speaker 3: Or did that come out right? And I was gonna 491 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 3: say sometimes during the. 492 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 2: Breaks, I'll look at Easton or Mark if I say 493 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,880 Speaker 2: something and I'm like, we cut that out. 494 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 3: So that is another thing, But that. 495 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 5: Is pretty rare. 496 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,239 Speaker 1: Extremely I think it's not. 497 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 2: I I never listened back after the episode is done, 498 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,120 Speaker 2: like I do it on the moment because I kind 499 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 2: of it's like out of my head once we end 500 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:30,679 Speaker 2: the podcast. 501 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think you do it that often. 502 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,439 Speaker 3: Not often, but I'm saying it's a. 503 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 1: Handful of times. 504 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 2: This is years podcast, I know, but I'm saying, like, 505 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,520 Speaker 2: I don't. I never asked to listen to the podcast. 506 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,359 Speaker 2: I've done that like twice. I think where I'm like 507 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:44,840 Speaker 2: East and westened that to me so I can hear 508 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 2: how it sounded. But like typically it's like on the run, 509 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 2: where I'm like, let's just yeah. 510 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 5: Also, I definitely watched the videos that Crystal puts up on. 511 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: Instagram, Crystal the Wizard, and those are. 512 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,479 Speaker 5: And then Marina says, whatever you're doing, don't change the thing. Ps. 513 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 5: I'm a nurse and I work with a doctor that 514 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 5: works with the Grays writers to give them medical stories. 515 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 5: So some of the patient storylines on the show are 516 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 5: spin offs of my actual patients I've cared for. He 517 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,199 Speaker 5: has met Ellen Pompeo and said she's very kind and 518 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 5: very funny. Thank you all for bringing light into our days. 519 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 5: Speaking of listening to old episodes, that's what actually has 520 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,359 Speaker 5: been doing. I've been listening to old podcasts again for 521 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 5: the first time since I first found you guys a 522 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 5: few years ago. I was going through a rough breakup 523 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 5: with someone I thought was the one, but she wasn't 524 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,159 Speaker 5: confident in her sexuality. I listened to Haley's music a 525 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,959 Speaker 5: lot for comfort during that time and shortly after when 526 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 5: you all announced your relationship publicly, and that's how I 527 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 5: found your podcast. Since then, I always listened to you, guys, 528 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,399 Speaker 5: and the four of you have become what felt like 529 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,959 Speaker 5: friends who I've been with through the roughest times like 530 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 5: finding out my mom has cancer and dealing with that, 531 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 5: to the happy times like getting a new job and 532 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,400 Speaker 5: a girlfriend. While listening back, I'd always hear you guys 533 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 5: talk about how you wanted to figure out what was 534 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 5: wrong with Becca, and at least one time she even 535 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,480 Speaker 5: says she feels like she just hasn't met the right 536 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,479 Speaker 5: person yet. Listening from the future, this is so funny 537 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 5: and frustrating to hear both of you talk about the 538 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 5: struggles of your love lives, knowing you both find you 539 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 5: forever people very very soon, but have no clue at 540 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 5: the time. Thank you to all four of you for 541 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,159 Speaker 5: bringing comfort and laughter to so many of us. We 542 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 5: love you and that's a good lesson for U. Longtime 543 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 5: scrubber from earlier in the show and tea for that. Yeah, 544 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 5: you never know when it's right around the corner. 545 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 3: It's so true. 546 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,360 Speaker 2: Uh. Tanya even on her bachelorette said she wasn't looking. 547 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 3: What was your quote? 548 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,919 Speaker 2: She said she wasn't looking when she when she matched 549 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 2: with Robbie and Pauline and I were. 550 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 1: Like, okay, no, Paulina said, I said, I wasn't desperate 551 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 1: when I matched with Robbie, like I wasn't when I 552 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: it was Sierra that matched with Robbie and told me 553 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,160 Speaker 1: to start talking to him. Had it not been for Sierra, 554 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't have engaged. I was kind of like 555 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:49,640 Speaker 1: aloof about it. 556 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 5: I was. 557 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 1: Not to say I wasn't desperately looking for somebody for 558 00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 1: the past ten years, but in that moment, I wasn't like, like, 559 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it's actually a miracle. I didn't settle. 560 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 3: No, that's I think that's what we were talking about. 561 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 1: I really settled because I was desperate because I wanted 562 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 1: to get married and like have a baby, and I 563 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: didn't settle. 564 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:21,159 Speaker 2: We were saying, it's it's so wonderful that Robbie turned 565 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 2: out to be such a wonderful human and that he's 566 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,479 Speaker 2: good looking because Tanya was on the verge of really 567 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 2: settling for whom stever. 568 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 3: Would settle down with her. 569 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,200 Speaker 1: That's actually not true. You just think there was guys 570 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 1: that I know, But there were guys that I dated 571 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,199 Speaker 1: that would have married me, but I was like not 572 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 1: wanting to marry them. 573 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 5: Norue, Yeah who you were, I don't feel like you 574 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:49,639 Speaker 5: were that deep in any of. 575 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 1: Those interesting to like look back on, because right after 576 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: I went through like my big breakup, the one that 577 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,120 Speaker 1: like crushed me to my core, and I like wasn't 578 00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 1: ready to like date. I was just like getting back out. 579 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 5: There fifteenth anniversary of that. 580 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: The two guys I dated immediately after him like wanted 581 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 1: to wipe me up. 582 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 3: Wow, Oh I don't know those No, I was pre 583 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 3: pre bet. 584 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 1: I don't remember. I remember one of their first names, 585 00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 1: but I don't even remember the other one's first name. 586 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: But they like wanted to wipe me up. And I 587 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,959 Speaker 1: was like so not in that headspace. And then it 588 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 1: just like flipped because like once I was like looking, 589 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: it was just like, oh. 590 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how like life sometimes works. Were life's at 591 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 2: your fast all I'm saying. We were just saying, like 592 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 2: it's so great because you, you were definitely on the hunt, Like, 593 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 2: by no means were you just sitting back and waiting 594 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 2: for him to show up at the door. 595 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: If you want a job, if you want the job 596 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 1: of your dreams, would you just sit back and just 597 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: let it fall in your lap. No, you'd be sending 598 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 1: resumes to every place that you could think of. You 599 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: would be sending baby shoes with your card on them, 600 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 1: like you would be doing giving the most to get 601 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,119 Speaker 1: your dream job. So if I want my dream husband, 602 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,680 Speaker 1: why would I not be doing the absolute most? 603 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 2: But you didn't because we had to like fully convince 604 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 2: you to get on dates because you were so anti 605 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 2: dating apps. 606 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 1: And guess what I did. 607 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm saying you weren't doing the most. 608 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 1: Well, I was doing the most. In many ways, I 609 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: was doing more than most. 610 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,360 Speaker 3: Simply calling in the one was the most. In my opinion. 611 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 3: I would never, I'm sorry. 612 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 2: My personality I could and would never be able to 613 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,480 Speaker 2: do that consist like I would probably do two pages. 614 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,919 Speaker 5: And and make it a setting a plate for dinner 615 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 5: for no one like I admire. 616 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:28,400 Speaker 3: It because I could never. 617 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 2: And now she's setting a table for picking her table 618 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 2: settings for her wedding. 619 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:38,880 Speaker 1: Exactly exactly abouta sat ladder for the people in the back. 620 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,920 Speaker 2: Now she's now, she's setting her picking out her wedding. 621 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 3: Table setting at the wedding. 622 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 5: All right, when we come back, we have an update. 623 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 5: I love updates, follow up. 624 00:27:53,080 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 6: We never do them never. 625 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 2: All right, we are back with the final Dear Bonya from. 626 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,640 Speaker 5: Bailey I Becka, Tanya marcant Easton. This is an update 627 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,400 Speaker 5: from episode Dear Bania Wife Swap October tenth, twenty twenty four. 628 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,479 Speaker 5: I was the lesbian with a husband asking for advice 629 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 5: in that episode, so greatly appreciated all of your guys' 630 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 5: advice and encouragement. I did have that very difficult conversation 631 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 5: with him shortly after that episode. I told him I 632 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 5: don't want to wake up one date when I'm fifty 633 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 5: and regret not having lived a truly authentic life, and 634 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 5: that as much as I have cherished our friendship, it 635 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 5: was time for me to choose myself and that means 636 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,959 Speaker 5: I need to leave it. Of course, has not been 637 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 5: the easiest journey. There have been many ups and downs, 638 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 5: but now months later, I can say that I am 639 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 5: most authentically happy that I have ever been. I've come 640 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 5: out to my family, which went so much better than expected. 641 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 5: And I have even met someone recently and have finally 642 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 5: been able to experience all of the feelings and emotions 643 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 5: that come with connecting with someone on all levels. And 644 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 5: let me say, I now know that experiencing those feelings 645 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 5: outweighs the possibility of every bad outcome I had played 646 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 5: out in my head beforehand. If there are any other 647 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 5: scrubbers out there who have struggled with something similar, just 648 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 5: know you are not alone and you owe it to 649 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 5: yourself to live authentically. Thank you guys for everything. 650 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: Greatay, Yeah, happy ending. 651 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 3: It's so true. It was. 652 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,440 Speaker 2: I remember when before Haley and I came out, I 653 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, getting getting to experience this 654 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 2: type of love and feelings, and like this type of 655 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 2: partnership makes anything bad that could happen with us going public, 656 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 2: it makes it worth it. Like I'll take it, you know, 657 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 2: because like if the opposite was not being with Haley, 658 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 2: then what's the point, you know. 659 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just as to like be off that live 660 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: your life off authentically as you want. 661 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 3: As you are, as you are, sexuality. 662 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 1: Preference, like your hobbies. If something seems not cool and 663 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 1: you're embarrassed to do it, like do it? 664 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 3: You get one life and it's short and long. It's 665 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 3: short and long. 666 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, both short and long. 667 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 5: Okay you said that a few times and it's a 668 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 5: little bit of a head scratcher. 669 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 1: But yeah, it was said to me on the flight 670 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 1: Cabo from these women. You know, life is short but long? 671 00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 1: Or did they say it was just long life? 672 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,480 Speaker 3: I wasn't there. I mean I was there, but I 673 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:33,440 Speaker 3: was further back. 674 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 5: I've been hearing the one lately. The days are long, 675 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 5: but the years are short. 676 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,520 Speaker 1: Exactly same, same, same. 677 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 3: I wonder if that's what they said to you. 678 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 1: Hard to say, it's hard to know, it's hard to know. 679 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 3: The same, same thing. 680 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 2: But thank you, Thank y'all for always writing in. We 681 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,440 Speaker 2: love doing these episodes. They are like my favorite. And 682 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 2: if you have questions or comments or concerns, dmos not concerns, 683 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 2: but dms on Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email 684 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 2: us at scrub in at aheartmedia dot com. 685 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: Save the drama for your mama, yeah. 686 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 2: Or really just anyone else. We We're just we're just 687 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:08,840 Speaker 2: here to live, laugh and love. 688 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, we love you all so much. 689 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,680 Speaker 2: Have a wonderful weekend, Happy Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day, Love you, 690 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 2: gin you so much and bye.