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Speaker 1: If it doesn't work, you're just not using enough. You're

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Speaker 1: listening to Software Radio Special Operations, military news and straight

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Speaker 1: talk with the guys in the community. Hello everyone, welcome

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Speaker 1: back to SOFTWAREP Radio. I'm your host today, Steve BLASTRAI.

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Speaker 1: We have a great show lined up for you here

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Speaker 1: on SOFTWAREP Radio. We have Command Sarge you Major retired

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Speaker 1: Tom Satalie and his wife Jen. Uh. Tom was a

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Speaker 1: Delta Force operator. He did a ton of combat deployments.

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Speaker 1: We'll probably get into all of that, and then uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, like a lot of our warriors today, Tom

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Speaker 1: suffered with some PTSD and he went through some bad

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Speaker 1: times and with the help of his wife, uh Jen,

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Speaker 1: who's going to fill us in on her perspective on things,

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Speaker 1: he was able to get through that. And they have

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Speaker 1: a foundation called the All Secure Foundation that helps Special

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Speaker 1: operators and and their families. Jenna also runs a a

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Speaker 1: site for the wives called Farrago, and we're gonna get

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Speaker 1: into that as well, but we want to welcome them

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Speaker 1: both to the podcast. Tom, Jen, thank you for taking

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Speaker 1: the time to join us here just before Christmas, So

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Speaker 1: Merry Christmas to both of you, and welcome Mary Christian,

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Speaker 1: thank you and that's that your favorite time of the year,

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Speaker 1: all right, Yeah, I think it's everyone's favorite time of

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Speaker 1: the year. So it's the one time of year everyone

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Speaker 1: seems to you know, that there's a little bit of

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Speaker 1: a weight lifted off everyone's shoulders. There, everyone's a little

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Speaker 1: bit nicer to each other. And and I wish we

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Speaker 1: could be like that, uh for twelve months out of

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Speaker 1: the year exactly, right, wouldn't have wouldn't it be just

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Speaker 1: be a better place? Yeah? Yes, it would. So always Christmas? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: Tom Phillison, a little bit about your career. I know

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Speaker 1: I just kind of glossed over it, but uh, tell

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Speaker 1: our listeners about what your background was, how you ended

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Speaker 1: up to be where you were. Wow, everything for me

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Speaker 1: seems to be by chance or by stumbling. Um. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I I spent I retired ten years ago this month,

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Speaker 1: and I U enlisted in nine six in the Army,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I came in for four years

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Speaker 1: to get some college money and get out, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was just in an out deal for me, and

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Speaker 1: then U I blinked and uh, you know, years later,

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Speaker 1: I I had gone through the Q course and got

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Speaker 1: my green beret and decided during the language school that

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Speaker 1: I would go to Trout for Delta and made that

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Speaker 1: and spent twenty years UM in Delta and then uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, ten years after that I've spent trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out what I would do with the rest of

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Speaker 1: my life after retirement. But yeah, I was lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to be in an organization that allowed me to go

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Speaker 1: around the world and conduct jobs that most people don't

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Speaker 1: get to do. And if I didn't die, I got

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Speaker 1: to do it again the next day. So it was

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Speaker 1: always exciting, um and it and it took its toll.

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Speaker 1: But you know, for a guy who just came in

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Speaker 1: to get some college money, I think I did all

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Speaker 1: right for five year career. That's you know, set me

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Speaker 1: up for the rest of my life. I think. There

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Speaker 1: you go. And uh, I've read somewhere where you went

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Speaker 1: through selection. You were pretty young twenty four years old?

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Speaker 1: Is that correct? Yeah? I was either yeah, so twenty

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Speaker 1: four and uh you know rubbery nothing hurt and yet

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Speaker 1: on me. So I was pretty fit and uh, unstoppable

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Speaker 1: at that age. I mean, I know that's why they

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Speaker 1: get them at a decent age. I gets kids when

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Speaker 1: we're with us, kids to get their kids when they're

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Speaker 1: rubbery and mallible in their minds as well. Yeah. In fact,

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Speaker 1: one of my good friends we were on the same

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Speaker 1: team in seventh group. I think at the time, I

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Speaker 1: don't know whether that still holds. I mean, uh, he

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Speaker 1: was probably the youngest guy ever to go through. He

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Speaker 1: was twenty three, Earl Fillmore who ended up dying in

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Speaker 1: Mogadi shoot. Yeah, yeah, did you know? I did. I

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Speaker 1: was across the street and I watched it. I got

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Speaker 1: I got to watch NB drug away. I looked across

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Speaker 1: the street at him, and he looked at me, and

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Speaker 1: we both turned and started shooting up the street. Um

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Speaker 1: since as we're on our way to the first crash site,

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Speaker 1: and we had just turned the corner to head north,

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Speaker 1: um to go a couple more blocks to get to

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Speaker 1: the crash site. And I looked at I looked at

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Speaker 1: Early looked at me, and we both looked up the

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Speaker 1: street and start shooting. And when I looked back, UM,

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds later, maybe U two guys were dragging him away.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't know, you know, I didn't know. I

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Speaker 1: didn't really know at the time how bad it was,

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Speaker 1: but I thought, wow, we're not invincible. I guess I

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Speaker 1: better get out of the street. It was one of those.

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Speaker 1: It was a wake up call for me that we

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Speaker 1: weren't invincible. Yeah, Earl was one of the funniest guys

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Speaker 1: I ever met, and I was, Yeah. We were on

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Speaker 1: the same team in seventh group, and you know, and

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Speaker 1: then he was getting ready to go to selection. He

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Speaker 1: was preparing he he uh. He definitely put the time in.

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Speaker 1: But we I think that whenever I think Earl, I

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Speaker 1: think back. We went to language school together and and

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Speaker 1: he was so funny. Our teachers used to crack up

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Speaker 1: laughing to where like the other classrooms would look at

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Speaker 1: us during break and they were like, what's going on

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Speaker 1: in there because all they could hear was the laughter

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Speaker 1: coming out of our classroom. And you know how it

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Speaker 1: is in language school, you have to give presentations and

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Speaker 1: and classes and stuff. And Earl did one on he

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Speaker 1: Man and Masters of the Universe cartoon where he was

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Speaker 1: showing clips of it and they had I guess they

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Speaker 1: had it on one of the Spanish language uh television shows,

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Speaker 1: and oh my god, he and he gave this whole

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Speaker 1: thing where everyone was literally almost on the floor crying, laughing,

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Speaker 1: including our teachers who just they were like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you have to give this again. So they brought the

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Speaker 1: director of the school in and Earl gave this you know,

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Speaker 1: this whole he man Masters of the Universe. Um, I

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Speaker 1: guess dissertation in Spanish and it was so funny and

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Speaker 1: everyone just cracked up laughing. And that was whenever I

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Speaker 1: think Earl. I still am. I in contact with his

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Speaker 1: older sisters live in Pennsylvania. But that's what I always

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Speaker 1: think of with him. It was always one prank after

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Speaker 1: the other. If I wasn't inflating a zodiac boat with

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Speaker 1: a full sized mannequin with a paddle in it inside

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Speaker 1: their team room where they couldn't open the door, somebody

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Speaker 1: stuff in bacon in your coffee or something. It was

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Speaker 1: always something yeah, and that's it. I mean, And I

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Speaker 1: remember another I'm getting off top of you. But he uh,

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Speaker 1: he got tasked. Uh. We were in a support cycle

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Speaker 1: or whatever coming back from a deployment somewhere and and

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Speaker 1: they said, oh, we need a medic. So they took

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Speaker 1: Earle and we were like, oh, you got dick. You're

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Speaker 1: going somewhere and probably awful. And then it turns out

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Speaker 1: he went to an outward bound school down in Patagonia someplace,

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Speaker 1: and it was all female English school teachers and then

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Speaker 1: earls sending us all back pictures of these He's school

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Speaker 1: teachers and he's like, yeah, there's only you know, the

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Speaker 1: head instructor and assistant instructor in me the medic and

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Speaker 1: all these girls there, and so yeah, it wasn't that

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Speaker 1: bad after all. I was roughing it. Yeah, he was roughing.

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Speaker 1: So so you did a bunch of combat deployments. Obviously

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Speaker 1: you were in Mogadishu. Um, I assume you went to

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Speaker 1: Iran and Iraq excuse me, Iraq in Afghanistan quite a

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Speaker 1: few times more than I like. Um, honestly, in a

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Speaker 1: unit like that, there was places. I mean, I've gone

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Speaker 1: around the world in places I forgot about until you know, recently,

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Speaker 1: and I'll be telling stories I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I forgot I was there. Um. It literally happened so

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Speaker 1: often and so a matter of fact, it was so

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Speaker 1: used to it that it doesn't stick in your brain

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Speaker 1: as much anymore. I literally it was just every day

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Speaker 1: activity to go to some other country and do something

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Speaker 1: else and then come on and you know, I've had

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Speaker 1: things happen to me. And part of it's in the book,

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Speaker 1: I'm down in baron Kia, Columbie. You know, guys, sticks

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Speaker 1: a rival in my mouth as we're trying to drive,

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Speaker 1: you know, and just we're just out for a drive

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Speaker 1: and you know, and I got a gun stuck in

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Speaker 1: in my mouth. And it's it's wow, how lucky you know,

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Speaker 1: to be part of situations like that over and over

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Speaker 1: again and you forget so many of them. Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we were I'm sorry, go ahead, Jen, Sorry, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just like, you know, make a sandwich, catch the

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Speaker 1: umb make another sandwich. Yeah. Yeah, I was gonna ask you, Tom,

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Speaker 1: were you part of the task force that was going

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Speaker 1: after um Pablo Escobar? No, Um, we were doing some

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Speaker 1: stuff down there, and and that's one of the things

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Speaker 1: I don't really talk about anyway, um, just because they

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Speaker 1: got long memories. But I mean, there's been so many

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Speaker 1: people involved in things like that down there that that's

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Speaker 1: one of the things I don't even dive into that.

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Speaker 1: Just to keep my family from wearing no seaman shoes

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Speaker 1: at the bottom of the river. Yeah, I know that's

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Speaker 1: quite alright because I was down there during that time

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Speaker 1: as well, so we might again, we might have passed

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Speaker 1: each other in somewhere. You know, you bumping to Joe much.

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Speaker 1: What's that? Do you know? Joe Vega? No, I don't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he was. He was doing a lot of stuff down

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Speaker 1: there as well. He's uh. Um, we were down there

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Speaker 1: running around doing some stuff. Bute was our year to

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Speaker 1: focus on Somalia. I guess we got pulled back. Um.

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Speaker 1: I was down there with some guys and and in

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Speaker 1: Bogata and Baron Kia and Tracey Skeness and Tolamda. So

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Speaker 1: I mean we were all in the same stomping grounds

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Speaker 1: for sure. Oh yeah, absolutely so. Um. We have to

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Speaker 1: just take a quick I have to read a commercial

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Speaker 1: break for one of our sponsors for about thirty seconds,

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Speaker 1: and then we'll be right back. I want to ask

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Speaker 1: you about something that it has to do with that.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back with that. Folks. Hey everyone, Well,

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Speaker 1: it's no secret that big tech companies are tracking and

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Speaker 1: Wondering how you can prevent them from tracking you and

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Speaker 1: backslash soft rep or use the coupon code soft re rep. Alright,

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Speaker 1: we're back here on the podcast with Tom and Jen Satalie. We're,

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Speaker 1: you know, glossing over a little bit of Tom's military career.

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Speaker 1: And obviously you've been a lot of places, You've gone

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Speaker 1: through a lot of different things. And one of the

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Speaker 1: things that just I have to ask, did ever in

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Speaker 1: your wildest nightmare, I guess, did you ever consider that

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Speaker 1: the biggest battle you would ever fight would be perhaps

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Speaker 1: in your own head? No? Um never. I literally laughed

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Speaker 1: at that idea. I thought that was ridiculous that warriors

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Speaker 1: um needed help? Right, we help other people, and I

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Speaker 1: mean we that's what that's what we've dedicated our lives

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Speaker 1: to We'll go around the world helping people to hate

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Speaker 1: us or love us for a month, and then hate

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Speaker 1: us a month later because we're still there, or we

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Speaker 1: didn't turn on the water quick enough. But you know,

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Speaker 1: and then you come home and you don't feel loved

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Speaker 1: because what people think you do, or the version of

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Speaker 1: what Hollywood says the soldier is, is what most civilians think.

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Speaker 1: And so you you you have this feeling of not belonging,

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Speaker 1: being out of a tribe on acceptance. You know. It's

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Speaker 1: just it's just one of those things that I try

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Speaker 1: to teach people that we never take care of ourselves.

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Speaker 1: And if you look at the numbers of you know,

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Speaker 1: let's say, or sixty five thousand, and I asked, guys,

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Speaker 1: when we talk all the time, what are the differences

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Speaker 1: of those numbers. I tell one suicide and once combat

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Speaker 1: related death in the same time period, And sadly, it's

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Speaker 1: sixty five thousand plus some suicides by our own hand

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Speaker 1: in the same time period that we have fifty combat

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Speaker 1: related deaths. I said, Now, you tell me who the

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Speaker 1: greatest threat to U S Service members are. It's ourselves

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Speaker 1: and our inability to deal with our emotions. You know,

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Speaker 1: and I, for one, did not believe any of that

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Speaker 1: all along the way until you know, I became one

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Speaker 1: of those people. I was almost one of those statistics.

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Speaker 1: And I know that I read about that where you

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Speaker 1: were almost suicidal yourself and it was a phone call

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Speaker 1: from Jen that brought you back. Yeah. I was more

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Speaker 1: than suicidal. I was probably had suicidal ideation every day.

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Speaker 1: How many times today I couldn't count um and I

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Speaker 1: you know, I had the gun in my hand, the

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Speaker 1: bullet the chamber and it cleared out the car. And

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Speaker 1: Jen's incessant behavior of of not leaving me alone and

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Speaker 1: and knowing me before she even knew me, just paying

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Speaker 1: attention to me as a human being. She caught something

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Speaker 1: that two of my close friends had missed because they're

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Speaker 1: in the same bowl of soup with me suffering just

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Speaker 1: as much. And she noticed that prince you know, one

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Speaker 1: day in me and basically not basically stopped me from

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Speaker 1: taking my own life. And that's when I realized how

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Speaker 1: low I had gotten and how easy it was to

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Speaker 1: help somebody. And Jen, you know, I want to touch

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Speaker 1: on this. I mean, did you see changes in his

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Speaker 1: you know, our appearance wasn't just something you felt or

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Speaker 1: wasn't you know, activity related where things were changing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've been asked a lot like how how

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Speaker 1: did you know that he was going to do that?

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Speaker 1: And I didn't know. I if I did, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have left the car. I wouldn't have left him in

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Speaker 1: the car. Um. I had just noticed that his behavior

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Speaker 1: had shifted that day. So UM, the subtlety of him

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Speaker 1: usually being very charismatic, UM being very kind of on

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Speaker 1: top of things and and dedicated at work. So that

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Speaker 1: day he was missing things. He wasn't quite as engaged.

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Speaker 1: He was more quiet, so I could kind of tell

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Speaker 1: something wasn't right. And then when he had asked or

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Speaker 1: not asked, when he told us, hey, I'm gonna make

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Speaker 1: a phone call, go ahead without me to me, that

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Speaker 1: was like the hunt. That's a different behavior. Um, not

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Speaker 1: even consciously, I don't think, but subconsciously Tom always walked,

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Speaker 1: UM helped me into you know, the hotel or facility

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Speaker 1: wherever we were, because I always had a ton of

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Speaker 1: camera gear, and so he had always walked in with

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Speaker 1: us as a group. And that was different too, just

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Speaker 1: him saying, Hey, I'm going to stand stay behind and

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Speaker 1: make a phone call, and I'm thinking he's going into

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Speaker 1: his own hotel room by himself. Why does he need

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Speaker 1: to sit out in the car and make a phone call.

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Speaker 1: It just seemed odd, Um, different behaviors. So yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: when I started texting him um. And then when he

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Speaker 1: wasn't responding, that's when I kind of got a little

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Speaker 1: nervous and basically was like, hey, you're late. You know

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Speaker 1: where are you? Um? And that's what snapped him into

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Speaker 1: back to military mode. She knew I did not like

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Speaker 1: to be late to us something that got me moving.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she used her brain, she knew her used

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Speaker 1: her awareness and used something that she knew would get

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Speaker 1: me moving because she studied me enough though we'd only

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Speaker 1: known each other about a month or so, she studied

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Speaker 1: me more so than my friends and knew what would

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Speaker 1: get me moving. And those are the kids we kind

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Speaker 1: of teach people, you know, to help others out with.

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Speaker 1: So this was very early in your relationships, and this

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Speaker 1: this is what you guys weren't together for a long time. No.

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Speaker 1: I barely knew her, She barely knew me. She just

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Speaker 1: we worked together. Um, we're becoming friends, and she was

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Speaker 1: just more aware, you know, mother friends are just away,

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Speaker 1: let's go get a drawing. Okay, hey, let's just go work.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's go party, let's go work. And I

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Speaker 1: mean that was life right they were, they were with me, um,

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Speaker 1: so did them. They were on their way to party.

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Speaker 1: And you know who was I to slow them down? Yeah? Guy,

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Speaker 1: we don't like I mean we all say, oh, we

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Speaker 1: need to be more aware of it, but we don't

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Speaker 1: like talking about our own problems. No, no, we It

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Speaker 1: was a perception of weakness versus courage to scare your problem,

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Speaker 1: how you got better, which is courageous. People think, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's weakness because you need help, versus oh, you're courageous,

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Speaker 1: you asked for help. So we're trying to break that stigma,

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Speaker 1: smashed through that and and show everybody that it is

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Speaker 1: very courageous to admit that you need work on something.

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Speaker 1: Just like I go to the gym to get bigger muscles,

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Speaker 1: or I go to the range to get better shooting.

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Speaker 1: I go and get mental health so my brain is better.

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Speaker 1: I go help my relationship. It's all the same to me.

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Speaker 1: Now I gave you I'm doing in the midst of

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Speaker 1: the same thing. And it's not an easy process. That's

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Speaker 1: for sure. It takes a long time, but it's it's

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Speaker 1: a process and at least we're moving in the right direction, right.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, and that's what it's all about, is getting

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Speaker 1: better all the time, just like in the military, you know,

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Speaker 1: like you said, going through training. I mean, the whole

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Speaker 1: purpose of it is to keep getting better. So and yeah,

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Speaker 1: So with Jen, I mean, how did you, I mean,

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Speaker 1: did you realize after the fact that this was a

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Speaker 1: crisis moment or did he open up and you know,

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Speaker 1: to you about what was going on. You know, it

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Speaker 1: was a few months before he said anything to me,

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Speaker 1: And when he told me, it was so out of

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Speaker 1: the blue that it wasn't it one of those like, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't believe you it was, are you sure? Wait

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Speaker 1: what happened that day? You know it It was a surprise,

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Speaker 1: But it wasn't a surprise because I started to get

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Speaker 1: to know Tom better. In the mask that he wore

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Speaker 1: for his friends and his brothers and co workers. I

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Speaker 1: started to see a very different side of him. Um,

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Speaker 1: and so I started basically like googling the symptoms versus

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Speaker 1: like I had never heard of PTSD. I didn't think, oh,

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Speaker 1: Tom has PTSD. I was like, man, he's got some

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Speaker 1: serious anger issues, like he gets angry fast or or

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Speaker 1: you know, he might have a drinking problem here because

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Speaker 1: you know I drinking the bar dry. And so I

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Speaker 1: started googling the symptoms of PTSD and it really wasn't

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Speaker 1: until um, Tom saw a guy about anger management and

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Speaker 1: he's like, you don't have anger management issues? You know

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Speaker 1: you did? You know it's not it's stemming from post

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Speaker 1: traumatic stress. And and so is the drinking. You know,

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Speaker 1: you're not an alcoholic, you're a problem drinking. You're solving

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Speaker 1: in your self medicating. You think you're solving, but yourself medicating. Um.

348
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Speaker 1: So that's when we were able to start getting to

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Speaker 1: work once we had a name for it, you know,

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Speaker 1: once we kind of understood, oh, this is this is

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Speaker 1: part of it. UM made it. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: stay easier. Well yeah, yeah, it's sort of like, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's what it is. Now we can get to work

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Speaker 1: and getting to work for Tom, it's been the last

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Speaker 1: five six years. So Tom, did you notice, um? And

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Speaker 1: I know everyone's different when it comes to you know, PTSD,

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Speaker 1: and in their own experiences that did you notice Um

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Speaker 1: that it was more during your transition time that you

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Speaker 1: were feeling like this or was it even when you

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Speaker 1: were still in the unit. I think it's during the

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Speaker 1: transition time, I think when you're When I was in

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Speaker 1: the unit, I still felt part of it. I still

363
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Speaker 1: felt part of the team. I knew what was going on.

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Speaker 1: I was going to work every day, like kept turning green.

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Speaker 1: I'm not happy about that. Um. And even part of

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Speaker 1: my transition when I got out and I lived in

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Speaker 1: I'm on Jordan for two years. I had a team

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Speaker 1: of ten s F guys that I hired that we're

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Speaker 1: working for me. So it was like being in the

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Speaker 1: military still only better living conditions, more money, more off time.

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Speaker 1: And oh, by the way, I'm gone for four months,

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Speaker 1: home for two weeks, gone for four months, home for

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Speaker 1: two weeks, so similar lifestyle, you know, at home for

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Speaker 1: the for the family as well. And and when that

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Speaker 1: dried up, that's when it all came crashing down. I mean,

376
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Speaker 1: when I ran out of things to do, when I

377
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Speaker 1: ran out of a mission, when I didn't have a tribe,

378
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Speaker 1: that's when I started feeling isolated and lonely, um disconnected,

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Speaker 1: and I mean I just started withdrawing into myself and

380
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Speaker 1: then it got harder and harder to go visit friends,

381
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Speaker 1: It got harder, harder call friends, and at that time

382
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Speaker 1: had passed so much it was more difficult, you know.

383
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Speaker 1: And now I looked back and I realized, Wow, I

384
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: just did it all to myself. I literally I was

385
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Speaker 1: punching myself, I guess, and for my lifestyle choices. And

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00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 1: that's that's when it tanked. Um had I gotten out

387
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 1: and not had a job right away, would have happened

388
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: right away. You know. It's when when you're removed from

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00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: that operating those operating conditions that you're used to and

390
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Speaker 1: and life changes, you realize it's going on without you.

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Speaker 1: You better make your way or or you're just gonna

392
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Speaker 1: get left behind. And I laid there, and I think

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Speaker 1: I was getting left behind for a couple of years. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that you You definitely had PTS when you

395
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Speaker 1: were in service, just based on the reckless behavior and

396
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Speaker 1: the drinking and the anger issues and you know, all

397
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Speaker 1: the things that we talked to the young guys about now.

398
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Speaker 1: But you the suicidal part, the scary part, really didn't

399
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 1: come until you had that time. Doubt, too much time thinking,

400
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: you know, too much quiet time. And I believe I

401
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 1: developed it in Samalia when I thought I was going

402
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: to die and I had no chance, and I'd given

403
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: up hope and life and I lived. I lived through that,

404
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,360
Speaker 1: but I lost empathy and compassion along the way. All

405
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: I wanted to do was train harder and be better

406
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: at my job. That was it, so it would never

407
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,360
Speaker 1: happen again. And everything else had to go away for that.

408
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: Everything in my life went away except my job so

409
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 1: I could be that good at my job. And we

410
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: talked to people who are professional athletes, CEOs of organizations,

411
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Speaker 1: anybody who dedicates their hours to be good at their

412
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 1: crafts and their job, whatever it is, something else has

413
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: to give, right and that's typically our families absolutely. Uh.

414
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: You know, I used to cover the NFL and talked

415
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Speaker 1: to pro football players. And when you reach that pinnacle,

416
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: just like you know, like you were in in Delta.

417
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: I mean, to reach that pinnacle, you have to dedicate

418
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,719
Speaker 1: your entire life. Everything comes second to that. You have

419
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 1: to dedicate yourself. It's the same thing, and their mindset

420
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: is very similar. Now. Granted, if if they fumble the

421
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: football or throw an interception, uh, they they've come back

422
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: next week and they start with a clean slate. You know,

423
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: we're guys in the unit. If somebody makes a mistake,

424
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: somebody that might not come home. So it's it's different,

425
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: but a lot of the mindset is the exact same

426
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: in that And I think part of that part of

427
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 1: the issue, like you talked about, when you get out

428
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,719
Speaker 1: is you don't have that camaraderie anymore. You don't have

429
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: that sense of belonging and you don't have that sense

430
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 1: of I'm doing something important right, you know, and when

431
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 1: you're in, like if you're that lowly football player or

432
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: that lowly operator who just runs around all you have

433
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: to worry about yourself. They're always saying team right. The

434
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 1: team means you do your job for the team and

435
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: the team can operate properly. So the football players doing

436
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 1: their job, they fumble, it's fumbling it, but you know

437
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 1: we picked it back up or something. But the same

438
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: thing with a younger operator. What I noticed the changes

439
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 1: or when other souls that you can response before or

440
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: say the coach of a team, he gets in trouble

441
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: when everybody fumbles, you know, anybody felt with someone's looking

442
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 1: at that guy, you know, like, hey, why are you froming?

443
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 1: You know? The coach or the owner or something. And

444
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 1: when you have those people under your responsibility, I think

445
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: it takes more of a toll on people. Absolutely. You

446
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: always talk about how the leadership was the toughest for you. Yeah,

447
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 1: I mean running around of breaking things and shooting people.

448
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: That's easy, that's that's Samoya. For me, it was. It

449
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 1: was devastating, but easy. Now go to Iraq. It wasn't

450
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: as devastating to me. Um, you know, there was some

451
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: some hot, fiery missions in Iraq for sure, but um,

452
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: to me it was harder because I had thirty people

453
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,919
Speaker 1: underneath me, you know, our thirty sixty ten thousand at

454
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 1: one point, you know underneath it you're responsible for that. Wow,

455
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 1: they're everywhere. You can't I mean mentally, you know, I

456
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 1: cannot be respon honstable. Actually for every individual person that

457
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: you are, you still think you are, and that any

458
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: loss of life affects you along the way more so

459
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: than I think the loss of my own life would

460
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: have affected me. Sure, And that's part of being an

461
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: effective and a good leader is you have to have

462
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 1: that empathy for your the troops under your command, because

463
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 1: if you don't have that, then you're not going to

464
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: be an effective leader and the troops will you know,

465
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: the the other operators that work for you, they're going

466
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: to know that right off the bat, absolutely, you know. So,

467
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's gotta be tough. So, yeah, I

468
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you. You know, I know that we're

469
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: all still learning about this. This is still I mean

470
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: we're probably in our infancy stages. But how do you

471
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: feel like the treatment or lack of treatment is coming

472
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: along now, you know, for veterans and for our warriors

473
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: that are out there. Yeah, I look at ericas, I'm like,

474
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 1: she should get answer so much better. I think it's

475
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: coming at I think it's like everything else. You know,

476
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 1: it's um like prosthetic limbs. We don't have a big

477
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: boost or growth for prosthetic limbs unless we have a

478
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 1: big war. And now we've been a war for twin years.

479
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: Prosthetic limbs of jumps leaps and bounds because of demand, right,

480
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 1: And the same thing with Pete. You get away from

481
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: a war, people are suffering. That's not a big deal.

482
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: Well it's not a big deal. It's not in your

483
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: face every day. You know, we're still a war. It's

484
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 1: it's been quite a long time. And people are still overseas,

485
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 1: and so we're still seeing things at least I am,

486
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: and and you know, I'm tapped into that part of

487
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: the world a little bit. Maybe. I know our kids

488
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: asked questions like, are we still a war somewhere? I'm like,

489
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 1: are you kidding me? UM? So Savans are forgetting about it,

490
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 1: and I think that breeds frustration, But I know that

491
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 1: there's been a demand for it. Oh yeah. I mean

492
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: it's not as easy to turn your blind eye to

493
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: it anymore when the numbers are coming out and Special

494
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 1: Operations has had UH in their active duty. Suicide rates

495
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: have tripled every year. So it's not something that's like, Man,

496
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: that's that's happening to the veteran population. It's not happening

497
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: directly in our command. UM. And as bad as it

498
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: is out there, I can't affect that change. But what

499
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: I'm seeing, and what Tom and I are seeing that

500
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 1: is really hopeful, is that leadership UM really is taking

501
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: it seriously. UM. Tom and I go to Fort Bragg

502
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 1: and speak all the time, and last November ish we

503
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: spoke to the X ray program. I think there was

504
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: maybe seventy five guys in the room. One female. She

505
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 1: had just passed green Brat selections. The next time we

506
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 1: go and speak, so that was November. We come back

507
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: in February talk to the new class, and the whole

508
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: rooms fall. We're like, oh, good, okay, people are receptive

509
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 1: to hearing this message. We just want back a week

510
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: ago and they Colonel Ferris was like, hey, we're gonna

511
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 1: put you in the auditorium. It was completely full with

512
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 1: two hundred people waiting outside. To me, that shows growth

513
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 1: in a very short time that these warriors UM want

514
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: to hear the message. They need to hear the message.

515
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you the saddest thing that we saw

516
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: was in a room of five six hundred UM young

517
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: men when we asked them how many people either lost

518
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: a friend UM or someone close to them from suicide?

519
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: In every single hand, almost one up in that room.

520
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 1: And when you look around that room, that's not the same.

521
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: If you're asking a room full of five accountants, you

522
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: know how many of how many people in your group

523
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: have committed suicide? You get a few hands, not the

524
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 1: entire room. So UM, I'm encouraged by the leadership that

525
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: we've met that are like, hey, we've got an issue

526
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: we've got a problem. We need to talk about this.

527
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: They're not listening to us, so we're going to bring in,

528
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 1: you know, we're gonna bring you guys in to deliver

529
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: the tough message and maybe they'll hear it. Um. But

530
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: every time we get tons of messages after a lot

531
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: of childhood trauma, we see um in warriors that has

532
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: never been dealt with. So then there's trauma on top

533
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: of trauma. You know, in the new generation coming out

534
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: are a bit more in touch with their emotions and

535
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: feelings and the reality of dealing with him as well.

536
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: They're more open to it. So on one hand, you

537
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: get people complaining, oh, these kids nowadays aren't men anymore.

538
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: You know. On the other side, they're also more in

539
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: touch with their feelings and they know they need to

540
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: work on us. So these warriors that are coming through,

541
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: I mean there, I'm not I'm not going to be

542
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: the guy who says I was in the last hard class.

543
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: They're just as capable and able as we ever work.

544
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: And yet they're more aware of their brain and their

545
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 1: emotions and feelings and how that how that affects a

546
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: little bit a little bit, a little bit more. You

547
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: hear that you know needs some work, but who doesn't.

548
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: And again, it's a process. I mean, we're we're just

549
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: starting this, and I'm glad to hear that the command

550
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: is taking it serious because you know, we always hear

551
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: these horror stories. You know, if if a guy goes

552
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: to therapy, he's going to lose his security clearance. And

553
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: I forget who I talked to. It wasn't that long ago,

554
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 1: and it was a senior officer, I believe, and he said,

555
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: you know, that's not really true. We were he said,

556
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: I don't know of anyone who has lost his clearance

557
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 1: because they sought out help. So I don't know where

558
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: we're where we're at with that, but you know that's

559
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: the obviously the worry. We talked about the exact same thing.

560
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 1: It's never been true. It's a story we told ourselves

561
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: just so we wouldn't have to approach that issue. And

562
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: in fact, it's a great opportunity. When we're done speaking

563
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: is most often the command comes to the front of

564
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: the room. Last time we had a great mto who

565
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: stood up and you know, delivered it just like Tom

566
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: Wood's kind of funny, but you know, it's that kind

567
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: of no crap. This is the truth, this is the reality.

568
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: Nobody's in trouble, nobody's going to have anything taken away.

569
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: You know, we've never said that, We'll never say that.

570
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: Calm and get help, you know. And I mean we

571
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 1: have heard stories. We get phone calls from you know,

572
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: guys and gals who are having still a tough time

573
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: that they've asked for help and they've been shunned or

574
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: they've been punished for it. Um. So it's still happening,

575
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 1: of course, um. But and then there's stories of guys

576
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: who asked for help and wouldn't get help when they

577
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: end up quitting and two people on the team killed

578
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 1: themselves because of that leadership. So we're telling the stories

579
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 1: of leadership matters, and it's always mattered. But your yes

580
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: or no answers can save a live or not to

581
00:33:55,720 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: save a lot. Hm. You know that's it's it's sad

582
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: because I know that. Excuse me that, you know, perceptions

583
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: have changed. And I was talking with a girl about

584
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: a month and a half ago. She runs a small

585
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: foundation now herself. Her father was a Vietnam veteran fought

586
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: with the hundred and first Airborne, did a couple of

587
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: tours in Vietnam was a disable and you know, he

588
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 1: had been through a lot of different things and saw

589
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: different things. And when he came home, he listened to

590
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: his family, went to the v A, and the doctors

591
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,919
Speaker 1: that he went to talk to told him to suck

592
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: it up and to get on with his life. And

593
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: it's yeah, and he ended up basically drinking himself to

594
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: death over a period of many years. But it's um,

595
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 1: it's nice to see that things are changing. At least

596
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: we're pointing in the right direction. And now I wanted

597
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 1: to ask you how did you come about creating the

598
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: All Secure Foundation? What what eventually made you decide to

599
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: do this, and how did you go about it? Because

600
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 1: you know, again speaking from my own personal I'm losing

601
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 1: my voice here. Um, I wouldn't even know the first

602
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 1: thing about creating a foundation and how to go about it.

603
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I said when my wife, quote unquote,

604
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: when when Jen worked with us doing filming with Special

605
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 1: Operations Seals and Rangers and Green Brace for a couple

606
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:38,399
Speaker 1: of years, she the guy stopped returning. You know, they

607
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 1: we were the last people that they would see before

608
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: they deployed overseas. So we would give them all the

609
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 1: scenarios of suicide bests and bombs and crowds and language speakers,

610
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: and she would video it and catch them in all

611
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 1: their you know, mishaps, and guys weren't returning for the

612
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: next training cycle from overseas, and and she being more

613
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: empathetic and compassionate than I at the time that I

614
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: can't do this job and where I can't train people

615
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 1: to go to war. It was exciting for a couple

616
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: of three years, but we need to get them on

617
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 1: the other end of it. We need to help them

618
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: on the other side. Because she spoke all those years

619
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: to operators while waiting on these hits to go down,

620
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: about their problems and their issues and their troubles, and

621
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: then these guys are dying overseas. She couldn't do it.

622
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: She's like, we need to start a nonprofit to help

623
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,359
Speaker 1: And I said, I have no idea what you're talking

624
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: about or what the hell we would do, and she

625
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 1: just got to work. Um, I kept you know, she

626
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 1: quit that job. She got to work studying. She went

627
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 1: to school to become a health coach and started diving

628
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: into the internet to figure out what to do, and

629
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 1: and and enlisted an army of volunteers with lawyers that

630
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: help start incorporating and filing paperwork. And you know, I

631
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: just kept working so we could pay the bills and eat.

632
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 1: And then finally Um built this organization up and then

633
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: brought me in as well to where I could go

634
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: full time and we can do this, you know, as

635
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,400
Speaker 1: our job every day now. And it was out of

636
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:03,479
Speaker 1: her compassion and love and her seeing the need PHIL

637
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 1: avoid that was there. That's awesome because again, I mean,

638
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: you know, when I hear about guys who start this

639
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: stuff and UM, I always wonder how they go about it,

640
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 1: because I would be totally lost. And now I know

641
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: that we need to have somebody like Jen that's in

642
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: the background there. Right. She's a hero in my book.

643
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: She's the hero of the foundation. I'm just the pretty

644
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: faith I guess she's prettier, so I don't win on

645
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 1: that one either. To get off off topic for just

646
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: a second, Jen, how did you get up? I know

647
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: I read you know, part of the story there where

648
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 1: you were a filmmaker, you know, with SF and uh,

649
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: you know, Navy seals and whatnot and guys who are

650
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 1: getting ready to deploy. How did you come about that job. Well,

651
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 1: that's funny because they spend no. Three times to the jobs.

652
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,839
Speaker 1: Because I just didn't feel like I was a good fit,

653
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: you know. I at that time, I was doing UM

654
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:11,919
Speaker 1: a lot of TV commercials, UM film fashion. I worked

655
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 1: with Jack Daniels and Miller Brewing companies. So I came

656
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: from the traditional film UM an advertising world. A former

657
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: ranger UM who I had done some projects with, said hey, UM,

658
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 1: I want you to come and be camera on this

659
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,800
Speaker 1: exercise and I said, I don't know anything about special

660
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: operations or military. My dad was in, he was out

661
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: before I was born. My brother got in when I

662
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 1: was about ten, and you know, I haven't seen him since,

663
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: so I, uh, I don't know anything about it. And

664
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 1: he you know, so the third time he's like, hey,

665
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 1: you know, I gotta have you come on the shoot.

666
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: I said, I'm not going. He goes, I already told

667
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 1: him you're coming, You're coming, and then you don't never

668
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 1: have to go again if you don't like it. And

669
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: then I ended up, of course, absolutely blown away on

670
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: the first exercise UM. And I wanted to be a

671
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,919
Speaker 1: national and geographic photographer forever. So for me, I was like, oh, crap,

672
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 1: this is my this is my experience like that, you know,

673
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: and and getting to ride in black Hawks and Chinooks

674
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: and seeing explosions and spending weeks on it, you know,

675
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 1: and embedding with these guys. Um. Really, I didn't understand

676
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 1: why I was there until until the foundation came about,

677
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 1: and then I was like, I get it. I understand

678
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 1: why I spent those years doing what I did, because

679
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 1: there's no way I could be able to help the

680
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: way that I can now without seeing and experiencing. I

681
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 1: think what I saw for sure his helps. So yeah,

682
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 1: I loved it. That's that's really interesting because I know

683
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 1: that's your background and that then that's where you met Tom,

684
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: because obviously you guys met through that and you started

685
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: the foundation. UM, tell our listeners a little bit about

686
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 1: some of the programs that you foundation does and how

687
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: you know they can go about getting some resources if

688
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: they need it, which I'm sure many guys do. Absolutely.

689
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 1: So All Secure Foundation we started as a resource library.

690
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,800
Speaker 1: We still are so if you go to all Secure

691
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 1: foundation dot org you'll find other vetted nonprofits, books, podcast um,

692
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: all the kind of information and we continue to update

693
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: it regularly that we can on the subject and it

694
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 1: could be anything from transitioning UM to issues with anger

695
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: in the home, to how to reconnect with your kid

696
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 1: post deployment. I really wanted to kind of take some

697
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: of the information that I had spent and make it

698
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 1: easier for people to kind of find it in one spot.

699
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 1: We UM. We hold Special Operation Couples retreats. Those are

700
00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 1: four day workshops UM and really these aren't power point.

701
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 1: People get scared because they're like, I don't want to

702
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,839
Speaker 1: go on those. Then they come on them, they're like,

703
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 1: that's amazing, because what we do is it's kind of

704
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: like hiding the piece in the brownies. Like you're skeet

705
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 1: shooting or your boating or you're hiking UM and you're

706
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 1: doing these things with your spouse. But before you do that,

707
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 1: Stacy's going to train you on some ways to maybe

708
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 1: fight fairly or talk when it's uncomfortable to talk. And

709
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 1: then you're gonna go out and practice that, come back

710
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: to the group, and Stacy's gonna work with you. So

711
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,280
Speaker 1: in four days, you're gonna get a lot of communication tools.

712
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 1: You're gonna kind of scratch open some scars, but we've

713
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: got somebody there to kind of catch you in that

714
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 1: process UM. So we have several of those throughout the year.

715
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 1: Tom and I speak UM at basis and post around

716
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 1: the country UM, talking PTS, resiliency, talking with family, ready

717
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 1: miss groups, talking with spouses, what to look for, how

718
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 1: do identify UM. And then we have an online course

719
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: that's launching here a pretty soon in the next few months,

720
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 1: so that you can get that experience at home. And

721
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,280
Speaker 1: so yeah, we we've kind of are looking at developing

722
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:12,280
Speaker 1: further programs kind of see where COVID goes, but UM

723
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 1: in this coming year. But we do have some programs

724
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: that hopefully we can kick back off here in the spring.

725
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 1: That's great. And you know, the first page on your website,

726
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 1: I loved it because it says they all secure Foundation

727
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: retrains your brain from post traumatic stress to post traumatic growth.

728
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: And I think that's the big thing, isn't it is

729
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 1: getting your head retrained, you know, to function in the

730
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 1: here and now. And you know, excuse me, I don't

731
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: know what's happening in my voice here this afternoon, but Tom,

732
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 1: back to you here. You know, with the foundation, you

733
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: you said, you guys travel around, you visit the basis.

734
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 1: How do you feel the guy sir, are you know,

735
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: reacting to your story? I think I think they like

736
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: the reality of it. I think they like that it's

737
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: not somebody teaching them the the university level from a

738
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: book kind of thing about here's your brain drugs, you know,

739
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,239
Speaker 1: and here's this, and that. It's kind of like no

740
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 1: ship there. I was screwing my life up sitting there

741
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: just like you are, thinking I know everything, and I'm

742
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: full of testosterone. I just want to go out and

743
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: do my thing, you know. And I know you might

744
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 1: not be listening to us, but if we say it

745
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: enough one day, when you get to this point, and

746
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 1: you will, you'll say, I've heard this before, I've seen

747
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,399
Speaker 1: this before. I can recall this, you know. I want

748
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: to make it part of their pre combat checks. I

749
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 1: want to make a part of their training. I want

750
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 1: to make a part of their train ups. Um, how

751
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: to manage stress, how to manage the things you're gonna see,

752
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 1: and how to and why it's okay to talk about

753
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 1: things that bother you, and why it's normal that your

754
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: friend getting blown up in front of you isn't okay.

755
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 1: It's not normal, and it's it's going to affect you.

756
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: You know. The fact that getting these guys to admit

757
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: that emotions are normal and real and that you're gonna

758
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: and that you need to practice on managing those emotions

759
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,919
Speaker 1: that I think they're taking the way that we're giving

760
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 1: it to them, Well, yeah, it's it's it's a no

761
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: crap approach to Hey, you're not you're gonna fight with

762
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: your wife. I fight with my wife a lot. She

763
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: goes toe to toe with me. Man, She's tougher than

764
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 1: the dudes I've worked with, and she goes toe to

765
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 1: toe with me. But we've also made rules now about

766
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:39,320
Speaker 1: how we fight. You know, nobody, nobody makes rules about fighting.

767
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 1: Why would you make rules about fighting with your wife.

768
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: You make rules about everything else in the planet. You

769
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,439
Speaker 1: make rules to stay within the boundaries, so you don't

770
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,720
Speaker 1: go outside those boundaries, and you will when you're fighting.

771
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: We can talk about what you're fighting for. All the

772
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 1: awareness of you know, if you're trying to be right

773
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: in your spouse, is trying to be right your relationships losing.

774
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: So let's reconsider what doing when we fight. So I

775
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,839
Speaker 1: want them to open up their brains and think about

776
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 1: things like that. And they are the way that we're

777
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 1: describing it to them, and the way it's more like, hey,

778
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: here's what happened to me, over and over and over again.

779
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 1: Here's some other guys that have happened to and oh,

780
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 1: by the way, here's another two million veterans that had

781
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 1: happened to You're not any different, You're not that special.

782
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: Stop acting like it and start listening up, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah,

783
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I would imagine the fact that

784
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 1: you know, you were standing in the shoes that they're

785
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 1: in at the present time. It gives you a little

786
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: bit more you know. Um, I guess when they're they're

787
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 1: hearing it, they're not hearing it from some medical doctor who's,

788
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 1: like you said earlier, you know, some accountant or a

789
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: doctor who's never been you know, in your shoes. You're

790
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 1: they're hearing it from a guy you know, who's been

791
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 1: doing the same things that they're doing. And I think

792
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: that they're more apt to listen to that, you know,

793
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 1: when you tell them, hey, this can happen to anyone,

794
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: and usually does. You know. The one thing that amazes

795
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: me is that, you know, I grew up my my

796
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,919
Speaker 1: father fought in World War Two, and all his army

797
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,840
Speaker 1: buddies used to come over to our house in the

798
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: summer for a big barbecue once a year. And you know,

799
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 1: I think back to those guys and what they went through,

800
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 1: and it's amazing that all of them weren't suffering with PTS.

801
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 1: But I mean, that's a story for another time, I guess.

802
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,239
Speaker 1: But I just think it's it's good that, you know,

803
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,839
Speaker 1: we're getting the word out there. People are taking it seriously,

804
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, guys are are receptive to it,

805
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,359
Speaker 1: because that's the biggest thing is getting them to buy in,

806
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 1: right absolutely, but they don't believe it. They won't put

807
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 1: in the effort. You can live miserably or you can

808
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 1: live happily. And Tom's proof of that. I mean, I

809
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: think even when we went back to the unit formal

810
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 1: two years ago, they everybody was asking me like, what

811
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: did you do to Tom? You know, like, what's up

812
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: with Tom? Toms so different now? And I asked him.

813
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: I was like, well, what's so different about him? They're like, well,

814
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 1: he's kind of a you know before, but he seems

815
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: really happy now and he seems okay now and he's

816
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: not so grumpy. And you know a lot of his

817
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 1: friends actually kind of had a knee jerk reaction to that,

818
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 1: like what's wrong with you versus you know, hey, you

819
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:33,959
Speaker 1: seem really happy in an okay play, You're what's wrong? Right? Right?

820
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean and for anyone listening, I know

821
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: the holidays can be tough and challenging, and one thing

822
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 1: that we hear a lot is I feel really alone, UM,

823
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: especially for those that have transition out and just missed

824
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 1: their tribe a lot. And I just want everyone to

825
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: know that no one's alone, no one is ever alone. UM.

826
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 1: At the very beast, you have Tom and I UM,

827
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 1: and we're always We're always here. And the contact form

828
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 1: on our website goes directly to my email. I read everything,

829
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: UM individually. Everything is confidential. From there, we come up

830
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: with a plan. We do individual counseling, we do couples counseling.

831
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 1: So UM, just know that as tough as it might seem,

832
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: or as alone as it may feel, that they're not alone.

833
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:28,319
Speaker 1: That's uh, that's the best advice I think you could give.

834
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 1: And And again, I mean, you know, what you guys

835
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: are doing, I think is fantastic and I think it's uh,

836
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: it's well needed, and I'm sure it's well appreciated. I

837
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 1: know that in your website on the resources, I mean,

838
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 1: you list a lot of the organizations that you know.

839
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: We've all reached out to it one time or another

840
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 1: to either volunteer or to donate, and that's what it's

841
00:48:56,560 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 1: all about. So explain to folks how they can donate

842
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: to your foundation, how they can get involved, and how

843
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 1: they can reach out to y'all. Well, the good thing

844
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 1: about our organization is we have UM a donor who

845
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,359
Speaker 1: has committed to covering all of our administration fees, so

846
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 1: a d percent of every single donation that anyone does.

847
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 1: We uh, we have a website that accepts donations, We

848
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 1: do PayPal, we do Facebook or other social media sites

849
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 1: that were attached to, but of every single penny will

850
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: go right back to a Warrior UM or a Warrior Family.

851
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 1: So you know, please donate this holiday season. We've helped

852
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: uh ten Warrior Family so far, just helped another three

853
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 1: just yesterday. So again, UM really appreciate the support to

854
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 1: We've had so many fantastic supporters and I'll tell you

855
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 1: veteran to go out and become CEOs and do well

856
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 1: for themselves. UM that have paid back have been very

857
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 1: generous to owners to us as well. So, um, the

858
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 1: five dollars means just as much to us as so

859
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 1: that's awesome. I'm just holding the phone looking at me like, yes,

860
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 1: that is true, that is true. I'd just like to

861
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 1: reiterate the fact that every penny um, people are always

862
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: worried about where their money goes. And and we're we're

863
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 1: so lucky to be able to say that of everybody's

864
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 1: pennies to go to help a word directly for their

865
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:38,360
Speaker 1: families directly. Um, and we loved out now and oh yeah,

866
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 1: and until all our listeners and readers out there. Jen

867
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:48,360
Speaker 1: has authored a book called Arsenal of Hope and it's

868
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 1: basically it's it's her tactics for taking on PTSD and

869
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 1: it's basically a story about how their family uh combative

870
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,799
Speaker 1: post traumatic stress on the home front. And I think

871
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:10,240
Speaker 1: it's a great book for for wives and family members

872
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 1: trying to understand what's going on with their loved ones.

873
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 1: Tom has also written a book called All Secure, And

874
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:20,919
Speaker 1: just like in the All Secure Foundation, we encourage all

875
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:23,360
Speaker 1: of our readers and listeners to check these out that

876
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 1: you can find them on I believe Amazon dot Com

877
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 1: is carrying both of them. Is that correct absolutely in

878
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 1: our website hadn't as well. And her book is for

879
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 1: even the warrior. I read it three times pride each time.

880
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: It's it's like the warriors study their enemies. It's a joke.

881
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 1: I say this, right. My wife's like this book for

882
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,880
Speaker 1: the spouses, but honestly it's for the warrior's just like

883
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,840
Speaker 1: the spouse has read my book, like, oh, now I

884
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,879
Speaker 1: understand him. It's like, and now I understand her. It's

885
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 1: like the men are from Mars women book, but it's

886
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 1: in two it's a two book section. It's kind of

887
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 1: give us both sides. But um words. I've had people like, well,

888
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 1: I'm not on her book, why would I pick up

889
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 1: her book? I'm like, I don't know. Why do you

890
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: study the enemy? Then you know you study things you

891
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 1: want to You want to dominate and get better at. Right,

892
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 1: So you don't need to dominate. You certainly want to

893
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: get better at your relationship. Well, we can all get

894
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 1: better at that. That's a fact. I mean, like I

895
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,399
Speaker 1: told you offline, I don't know how my wife ever

896
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,919
Speaker 1: put up with me for all these years. But we're

897
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: still together. So God bless her, and hopefully she'll never

898
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,640
Speaker 1: wake up from I don't know, from whatever is ailing

899
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 1: her to realize that she could have done a lot better.

900
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 1: You know, we want to think, Yeah, go ahead, it's

901
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: always good to marry up. That's it. I definitely did so, yeah,

902
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: I know I did, no, but we we want to

903
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 1: thank all you know, both of you guys for joining

904
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: us today and uh, you know, for you guys to

905
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 1: take the time out of Christmas time, it means a

906
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: lot to us. Um, and we encourage all of our

907
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: listeners out there and readers of software dot com two

908
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 1: check out the All Secure Foundation. That's a neat tattooed

909
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,359
Speaker 1: by the way that you guys have. I like that,

910
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: so that's pretty cool. But we encourage all of our

911
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 1: listeners and readers to check it out, donate if you can,

912
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 1: buy the book if you can, and check it out,

913
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 1: and if you need help, by all means, reach out

914
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,280
Speaker 1: to them. Um. You know, we want to thank Tom

915
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 1: yourself for joining us in gen This was a lot

916
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:39,879
Speaker 1: of fun for us, and you know we'll be uh

917
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 1: monitoring stuff as it goes forward. Thank you, thanks for

918
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 1: the opportunity. Yeah, we really appreciate it. Yeah, Oh, Merry Christmas.

919
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 1: Is there anything that we hadn't touched upon that, you

920
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 1: guys would like to say before we wrap this thing up,

921
00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:00,280
Speaker 1: no other than I mean, I think we've covered everything,

922
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 1: other than I think JIN touched on the fact that

923
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 1: you're never alone out there. Um, we're probably gonna hear

924
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: about it, but I would love to not hear about

925
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 1: a suicide. I would love to not here, you know,

926
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: another twenty eight suicides a day between here and New

927
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:18,319
Speaker 1: Year's or something, because we're never alone. There's always help

928
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 1: out there, and nothing is that bad, nothing is that

929
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 1: horrible that you can't recover from. And I just leave

930
00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 1: it with reach out to your strong friends. The one

931
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 1: thing that you can do that has a huge impact,

932
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:32,719
Speaker 1: it's super easy, is just to touch base with somebody,

933
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 1: um once or twice a day. Maybe just kind of

934
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,360
Speaker 1: make it a habit of reaching out to somebody. It

935
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 1: could save a life. That's great advice. So with with that,

936
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: we're gonna wrap things up here for software Bradio, software Bradio,

937
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 1: on Time on target. Um. Before we go, we just

938
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,280
Speaker 1: have to read one more quick little note from soft

939
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 1: rep itself. Do you want to get soft rep on

940
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 1: your phone? Download our free mobile app to get easy

941
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: acts us to our articles, podcasts, and Gary Views, all

942
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:07,439
Speaker 1: perfectly formatted to your device. Please subscribe to software dot

943
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 1: com to get access to all our library of e

944
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 1: books and our exclusive team reforms of content available on

945
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:17,439
Speaker 1: all your Apple and Android devices. We want to thank

946
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 1: all of our listeners for joining us today, especially Tom

947
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 1: and Jen. Thank you guys, God bless you for what

948
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 1: you guys do for all of our warriors out there.

949
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:30,720
Speaker 1: We want to wish you all a merry Christmas. Merry

950
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:49,720
Speaker 1: Christmay Christmas love them. Listening to self rely