Speaker 1: Episode to fifty six, Using Gratitude journaling to help you
Speaker 1: spend less. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll
Speaker 1: learn to save money, embrace simplicity right, and liver with
Speaker 1: your life. Here your host Jen and Jill. M m
Speaker 1: m m m m m m m m m m
Speaker 1: m m mmmm. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My
Speaker 1: name is Jen, my name is Jill, and today we
Speaker 1: are so thankful to be bringing you this episode on
Speaker 1: using gratitude to help you spend less here in the
Speaker 1: month of thankfulness all throughout the year doesn't just need
Speaker 1: to be in November. There's so much gratitude to go around,
Speaker 1: and these articles are really good. They give some solid
Speaker 1: reasons for why to practice this and how to do it.
Speaker 1: But before we get into that, our sponsor today spilling
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Speaker 1: that direction, we want to hear and share your story
Speaker 1: with this community. So head to Frugal Friends podcast dot
Speaker 1: com slash stories to begin the process of sharing your story.
Speaker 1: It's just a quick questionnaire and then it's going to
Speaker 1: be followed by recording your story for us. We cannot
Speaker 1: wait to hear it. Spill your beans, yes, beans stories, beans,
Speaker 1: I mean share your share your beans stories with us.
Speaker 1: If you if they've helped you pay off debt, we
Speaker 1: want to hear them. And even if they haven't, we
Speaker 1: really really want to hear them and share them. I
Speaker 1: mostly just want the juicy details. Jill wants the juicy
Speaker 1: DTOs bean spillage. I want the inspiration, all right. So,
Speaker 1: whether you are paying off debt or not, we all
Speaker 1: are here to get a better grasp on our spending,
Speaker 1: to feel more confident about our spending. And that can
Speaker 1: be made simpler with not these sexy rebate apps and
Speaker 1: budgeting tips and and all of that, but some of
Speaker 1: these peripheral tips. Some of these peripheral strategies, and we
Speaker 1: think gratitude journaling is one of those. So if you're
Speaker 1: kind of looking on the fringes with us, a few
Speaker 1: other episodes to queue up after this episode to twenty
Speaker 1: how to Buy Happiness. I had a friend listen to
Speaker 1: the show. He's listened to one episode and it was
Speaker 1: that episode, and ever since he's like, I think I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get myself a house cleaner to to buy happiness.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know if you've got
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've got the point. But but
Speaker 1: thank you, that wasn't the whole point of the episode.
Speaker 1: So if that's what you take away from that episode,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Um Or episode ninety nine, which maybe
Speaker 1: a little bit better, is contentment, gratitude and flexible minimalism
Speaker 1: within frugality. So that was a that we covered a
Speaker 1: swath of topics in that one. Uh so episode to
Speaker 1: twenty episode really good ones to cue up after this.
Speaker 1: But in this episode, we're going to talk specifically about
Speaker 1: gratitude journaling because I think, more so than like mantras
Speaker 1: or affirmations or thing that you just repeat, there is
Speaker 1: something powerful in writing things down. And I know you
Speaker 1: you see this and agree with this, Jill, Yes, Gratitude
Speaker 1: is certainly something that we talk about a lot in
Speaker 1: the mental health space, something that I recommend to clients
Speaker 1: all of the time, and yet it's still a good
Speaker 1: reminder for me that I need to be practicing this
Speaker 1: in my own life. I think this kind of annual
Speaker 1: time that we are approaching right now in November, where
Speaker 1: people's sites are on gratitude again, is a helpful reminder
Speaker 1: that this is still something good to be implementing, something
Speaker 1: that we need to have our sights on as much
Speaker 1: as we can know it in our minds. The actual
Speaker 1: putting it into practice is another thing, And I think
Speaker 1: it's because part of it sounds so simple, like there
Speaker 1: can't be that much to gratitude, But then when you
Speaker 1: actually engage in practicing this on a day, the weekly,
Speaker 1: monthly basis, we actually do see the benefits of it,
Speaker 1: and so I just I appreciate the reminders. I appreciate
Speaker 1: the tangible tips that can be associated with this. Of course,
Speaker 1: it's not magic, but it is one of those things
Speaker 1: we can add to our routine that really makes a
Speaker 1: difference for our mental health relationships financial health. The impact
Speaker 1: is widespread when we are able to engage in gratitude
Speaker 1: and like you said, Jen, different from just affirmations that
Speaker 1: aren't connected to anything that there's not a whole I mean,
Speaker 1: the research that's been done on affirmations, there's not much
Speaker 1: to point to super long term, deep benefits because and
Speaker 1: the reason is that it's not connected to anything. Just
Speaker 1: saying like you're you're great, this is you're you're super cool.
Speaker 1: I know that those aren't necessarily like the affirmations everyone
Speaker 1: is saying, but example, it's not tethered to anything. But
Speaker 1: when we're able to tether some of these reminders too,
Speaker 1: very real things in our lives, that's what's gonna stick.
Speaker 1: I know we'll talk more about this, but yes, gratitude,
Speaker 1: writing it down, reminding ourselves, engaging in this habit, we
Speaker 1: will see long term benefits. Yeah. So our first article
Speaker 1: is going to go into uh the some of the
Speaker 1: science behind why this helps with your finances, and then
Speaker 1: our second will be some tips for doing it and
Speaker 1: doing it sustainably. So the first one is from Thrive
Speaker 1: Global in its six ways practicing gratitude can transform your
Speaker 1: finances And what did you think about this? These different tips?
Speaker 1: I wanted to do like one that was just like
Speaker 1: scientific studies, But I really liked this one because it
Speaker 1: explained some science behind each of these different financial benefits.
Speaker 1: I think it's great. And at first when I read
Speaker 1: the article, like how are they going to give six
Speaker 1: things that practicing gratitude and how they help your finances?
Speaker 1: But then as I was reading through them, I do
Speaker 1: agree with really all of them, And of course they're
Speaker 1: all pretty inter related and interconnected, but I think that
Speaker 1: it's accurate that this is what practicing gratitude can do
Speaker 1: for our money, our financial health. Yeah. So the first
Speaker 1: one on this list is that gratitude reduces impulse buying. Uh,
Speaker 1: And it cites a survey that over half of Americans
Speaker 1: have made an impulse purchase of over a hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: And I would probably say purchase over a hundred, like
Speaker 1: probably not at once. Probably you probably make maybe a
Speaker 1: hundred dollars and impulse purchases each month, probably or each
Speaker 1: week if you're still starting out on this journey. But
Speaker 1: it's saying that practicing gratitude can do simpulse spending because
Speaker 1: gratitude actually improves our emotional reasoning regarding purchases and helps
Speaker 1: us act more rationally. So it kind of aids a
Speaker 1: bit in that decision fatigue because we have decided to
Speaker 1: be grateful. It's like that the one thing, what's the
Speaker 1: one thing I can do that makes everything else easier
Speaker 1: or unnecessary? And in this case it's easier because we're
Speaker 1: always going to have choices and decisions to make every day.
Speaker 1: But when you choose gratitude and you decide I'm going
Speaker 1: to be grateful for what I have, and I know
Speaker 1: what I have because I'm actually writing it down. I
Speaker 1: know all these things. It's not just like an abstract thought.
Speaker 1: Then you've already taken other decisions out that maybe should
Speaker 1: will this, will this improve my day? Will this make
Speaker 1: my hour better? Um? Will this make this incident seem
Speaker 1: less impactful? Or or us negative? So you've taken that
Speaker 1: decision off the table when you've chosen and decided to
Speaker 1: be grateful. Yeah. The second reason on here is that
Speaker 1: gratitude can help avoid lifestyle inflation. And I appreciate some
Speaker 1: of the history given to this concept. They reference that
Speaker 1: hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill, has been written about
Speaker 1: since at least the early sixteen hundreds. In this concept
Speaker 1: that humans tend to return to some baseline level of
Speaker 1: happiness after either a positive or negative life change or
Speaker 1: life event, which can explain why lottery winners often report
Speaker 1: just months later after winning the lottery feeling the same
Speaker 1: level of happiness as prior to winning. Which maybe not
Speaker 1: all of us have won the lottery in our lives,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure many of us can relate to this
Speaker 1: idea of lifestyle inflation or lifestyle I'll creep that constant
Speaker 1: desire for a bigger house, a nicer car, newest iPhone.
Speaker 1: And this especially happens when we do experience increases in
Speaker 1: our earnings, our salaries, promotions, job changes, and maybe we
Speaker 1: are able to afford it, and so our level of
Speaker 1: spending just kind of keeps up with our level of
Speaker 1: earning or overtakes it, which is never a great thing
Speaker 1: for us. But by practicing gratitude, we can cultivate contentment,
Speaker 1: and contentment is going to ward off the feelings of
Speaker 1: needing more, those feelings of I I need this, I
Speaker 1: need to get the next thing, now I've got the
Speaker 1: money for it, I deserve it. It's going to subside
Speaker 1: in the presence of contentment, fulfillment, thankfulness, gratitude. We just
Speaker 1: don't feel the need to get more, or we are
Speaker 1: not thinking the next thing is gonna make us happy.
Speaker 1: If we are already in this place of I'm really grateful,
Speaker 1: I don't need to go after the next thing because
Speaker 1: I feel this level of oh wow, I'm I'm thankful
Speaker 1: that for this, I'm thankful for that. So then we're
Speaker 1: not necessarily as much in this mindset of envy or
Speaker 1: greed or wanting the next thing thinking that's going to
Speaker 1: provide for us. Yeah. We We just recorded an interview
Speaker 1: with Stephanie from Sustainable Minimalists and that comes out next month.
Speaker 1: But she just had this this like wisdom bomb, like
Speaker 1: that you know everybody knows, but like until you hear
Speaker 1: somebody else say it to you, it's like dang. But
Speaker 1: she she was saying, like, no thing that you can buy,
Speaker 1: or that no thing that somebody can give you is
Speaker 1: going to make you happier. Like that's no. Those aren't
Speaker 1: like things and think and things that allow you to
Speaker 1: get more things. Those do not increase your level of happiness.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you what's going to increase your level
Speaker 1: of happiness. It's very different for everyone, but when you
Speaker 1: are living on that kind of baseline, then it can
Speaker 1: really help put everything into perspective. I liked that when
Speaker 1: I was thinking of lifestyle inflation and the hedonic treadmill,
Speaker 1: because I mean, even still for me, there are some
Speaker 1: things where like if I get this, I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: think I'm going to be happier, but like I do,
Speaker 1: it's still good to even in gratitude and contentment, we
Speaker 1: we still want to strive for betterment. Gratitude doesn't mean complacency,
Speaker 1: but it does put into perspective what the hustle is
Speaker 1: all for. So I really that came into my mind
Speaker 1: as we were reading this. The third is that gratitude
Speaker 1: promotes and a abundance mindset, and I have mixed feelings
Speaker 1: about abundant that the phrase abundance mindset. I love the
Speaker 1: phrase growth mindset because I feel that growth mindset versus
Speaker 1: scarcity mindset instead of an abundance mindset versus a scarcy mindset,
Speaker 1: because you can try to come out of a scarcity
Speaker 1: mindset and still not experience the abundance that you expect,
Speaker 1: where all of our definitions of abundance are different, and
Speaker 1: so it can be deflating if you're like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm rejecting scarcity mindset and I'm still not achieving abundance
Speaker 1: even though I have this quote unquote abundance mindset. So
Speaker 1: I would like to to reframe it as just growth
Speaker 1: mindset and growth mindset takes it's still the alternative to scarcity,
Speaker 1: but instead of having this perceived abundance that you might have,
Speaker 1: you probably don't have a cap on your on your
Speaker 1: mindset about growth. So I just think it breaks down
Speaker 1: some barriers to call it growth instead of abundance. But
Speaker 1: having gratitude does promote a growth mindset because you can,
Speaker 1: it says, it helps people go beyond their ego and
Speaker 1: fears about money put to jealousy and criticism aside, so
Speaker 1: you feel more positive and supportive of everyone's well being.
Speaker 1: So it's not just like I have to protect my
Speaker 1: slice of the pie and I can't help other people.
Speaker 1: I don't have enough to help other people. So it
Speaker 1: really does help you change your mindset for the better,
Speaker 1: and I like that it helps you. A growth mindset
Speaker 1: in particular helps you view challenges instead of viewing them
Speaker 1: as setbacks, viewing them as opportunities for growth and learning
Speaker 1: that I think is the biggest thing about a growth
Speaker 1: mindset that differentiate from scarcity and that really has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with abundance um and has everything to do
Speaker 1: with just getting on better, t better, etcetera. Number four
Speaker 1: on here is that gratitude helps you think about money
Speaker 1: in the long term, and they cite that gratitude can
Speaker 1: help you to resist the need for instant gratification and
Speaker 1: rather opt for some financial patients. I think that this
Speaker 1: correlates to other aspects of our life too, instant gratification
Speaker 1: in whatever way, and where gratitude intersects that is just
Speaker 1: a patience, a contentment of fulfillment. I found the study
Speaker 1: that they reference really interesting. It comes from the Association
Speaker 1: for Psychological Science, and it references that participants in the
Speaker 1: study were prompted to think about right about an event
Speaker 1: recently in their past that made them feel grateful or
Speaker 1: happy or or even neutral, and then they were presented
Speaker 1: with a choice of receiving an amount of money either
Speaker 1: now or a larger amount of money in eighty days.
Speaker 1: And the group that was asked to think about a
Speaker 1: piece of gratitude were more patient and resisted the instant
Speaker 1: gratification for the long term gains compared to the other
Speaker 1: groups who might have thought about something neutral or didn't
Speaker 1: think about weren't prompted towards gratitude at all. So so
Speaker 1: interesting that if you are to think about what does
Speaker 1: that look like in our daily lives, if we are
Speaker 1: regularly engaged in practices of gratitude, how that impacts all
Speaker 1: of our even smaller money decisions on a day to
Speaker 1: day basis. What what we do when we're feeling discontent,
Speaker 1: what we do when we're feeling envious. I mean, we
Speaker 1: can see this just in being on social media. Someone
Speaker 1: else's go going on a vacation. I want to do that.
Speaker 1: I want to do that now. I'm not happy, I'm
Speaker 1: not pleased with my life. Someone bought this thing, I
Speaker 1: want that too, versus waking up and having the first
Speaker 1: thing be gratitude for what we have. Can be tangible,
Speaker 1: but mostly it's gonna be the intangible in our lives,
Speaker 1: and we're not going to be as likely to go
Speaker 1: for those instant gratification items, but rather thinking more long term,
Speaker 1: what is my money going to get me that's actually
Speaker 1: gonna mean something to me that I'm gonna be grateful
Speaker 1: for that I'm going to value just another reason to
Speaker 1: practice this thing. And then number five gratitude supports good health,
Speaker 1: and it says research shows that gratitude can actually improve
Speaker 1: your health and prevent you from spending more on healthcare.
Speaker 1: So this is really interesting. I am. I hesitate from
Speaker 1: saying anything supports good health because I think that's kind
Speaker 1: of a smack in the face for maybe people with
Speaker 1: chronic illness, But I mean, definitely we can try it
Speaker 1: better off with it than without it. Um So, psychologists
Speaker 1: Emmons and McCulloch did a study where they had participants
Speaker 1: write about things they were grateful for that had occurred
Speaker 1: during the week, and another group was asked to write
Speaker 1: about daily irritations. And after ten weeks, the psychologists found
Speaker 1: that the group that practiced gratitude not only reported feeling
Speaker 1: happier and more optimistic, but also exercise more and had
Speaker 1: fewer visits to physicians. So that was a ten week study.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's all encompassing, but all of these
Speaker 1: things are interconnected. So like when we feel good about ourselves,
Speaker 1: we want that to permeate into other areas. So I
Speaker 1: can't see how people who uh felt happier and more optimistic,
Speaker 1: exercise more, and that in turn definitely leads to better health.
Speaker 1: So versus maybe gratitude supporting good health, I guess supports
Speaker 1: is a good word, but it can help aid other
Speaker 1: efforts to pursue good health well. And I would say
Speaker 1: good health isn't from my perspective, isn't just physical health.
Speaker 1: It includes mental health and relational health and financial health.
Speaker 1: And there's a variety of ways of describing health, and
Speaker 1: so I would affirm that gratitude is just overall better
Speaker 1: for our overall well being. I think, you know, I
Speaker 1: can think about times when I'm with a group of
Speaker 1: friends and how much better I feel after an interaction
Speaker 1: where we've shared good things. Not to say I don't
Speaker 1: want to hear about people's difficult things that are happening
Speaker 1: in their lives. It's very important to be a support
Speaker 1: to one another, but I know that we all can
Speaker 1: get into spaces of just, oh, here's the awful thing
Speaker 1: that happened to me this week, and here's us and
Speaker 1: it's really more so just complaining rather than actually looking
Speaker 1: for supports in it. And it's just easier to talk
Speaker 1: about those things sometimes. But the times when we're in
Speaker 1: groups of people or just with a friend and we're
Speaker 1: able to share some of the things that we're grateful
Speaker 1: for even in the midst of difficulties. Man that it
Speaker 1: really is life giving, it's a boost, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: wellness for me in a lot of ways. So I
Speaker 1: think it just depends on the way that we're looking
Speaker 1: at it. Not too but yes, Jen I also affirmed
Speaker 1: this isn't like the cure for someone struggling with a
Speaker 1: chronic physical health concern. It's not just be grateful. Gosh,
Speaker 1: that is a slap in the face. And finally on
Speaker 1: this list, I really love this one as well, and
Speaker 1: I would affirm it that gratitude helps develop resilience. I
Speaker 1: often describe resilience as a muscle that can be built,
Speaker 1: and resilience is this concept of an ability to move
Speaker 1: through to a cult circumstances well to be able to
Speaker 1: come out the other side of them. I don't love
Speaker 1: the term bounce back because I think when we're talking
Speaker 1: about resilience, we're talking about going through something that is
Speaker 1: overwhelming or maybe even beyond one's capacity to cope, and
Speaker 1: there isn't a going back. There's a moving through there's
Speaker 1: a change that can happen, and there's the what's going
Speaker 1: on on the other side are we are we choosing
Speaker 1: strength and growth and empowerment and gratitude, or are we
Speaker 1: choosing and just like lie down in the dirt, get
Speaker 1: run over and and no one's gonna blame you necessarily,
Speaker 1: Like if you've been through a trauma and your your
Speaker 1: choice is to lie down in the dirt, like I
Speaker 1: don't know, don't you don't set up camp me. But
Speaker 1: but resilience is that concept of having that muscle that
Speaker 1: that kind of intangible strength, is that ability to kind
Speaker 1: of move through it, come out the other side and
Speaker 1: potentially have greater levels of strength and wisdom. And part
Speaker 1: of the key in that it is a very intangible
Speaker 1: thing where there's tons of research around it, there's tons
Speaker 1: of people who talk about how to have it, how
Speaker 1: to get it. At the end of the day, there's
Speaker 1: no exact formula. There's and and really you've got to
Speaker 1: go through something difficult in order to practice and build
Speaker 1: and stretch this muscle. You can't just like be on
Speaker 1: a great sunny sunshiny day and get resilient like it.
Speaker 1: Resilience does demand difficulty, but it can be built through
Speaker 1: this practice. One of the keys and it is gratitude.
Speaker 1: The ability to look at some of the kindnesses, the
Speaker 1: pieces that you are grateful for in the midst of
Speaker 1: it is going to be a vital component to coming
Speaker 1: out the other side stronger, more empowered. Yes, okay, absolutely so,
Speaker 1: now that you know why gratitude journaling is great for
Speaker 1: all the areas of your finances, you didn't even think
Speaker 1: about it. It's not the answer you wanted, it's the
Speaker 1: answer you need. Uh. We're going to give you five
Speaker 1: tips for keeping a gratitude journal And this is from
Speaker 1: the day one app dot com And this is I
Speaker 1: mean this is this was a really good article with
Speaker 1: really good tips. Yeah, we've we've talked about why it's
Speaker 1: good to practice gratitude and what we mean when we
Speaker 1: say practice gratitude. It can it can be a variety
Speaker 1: of things, but certainly it includes journaling. Writing things down
Speaker 1: is a way to embed the messaging. When we are
Speaker 1: able to pair thoughts with actions, are our ideas, the
Speaker 1: things that go through our mind. With that action of writing,
Speaker 1: which is physical, it's also visual because we're reading it,
Speaker 1: it's going to embed that message deeper. So we really
Speaker 1: if we want this to become a regular part of
Speaker 1: our lifestyles habit formation, then there does need to be
Speaker 1: action coinciding it. So here you go journaling, And the
Speaker 1: first step in doing this well is when we go
Speaker 1: to write something down to practice this concept of gratitude,
Speaker 1: we've got to be descriptive, personal and focus on on
Speaker 1: the positive things that I mean, gratitude just demands that.
Speaker 1: But this tip also affirms that reality that we can't
Speaker 1: our gratitude can't be untethered and and it is difficult
Speaker 1: to to have gratitude untethered. But we want to be descriptive,
Speaker 1: almost like we're becoming writers and authors who are disc
Speaker 1: driving in depth the way that the landscape looks and
Speaker 1: so the landscape of our lives. The way that we're
Speaker 1: going to not get bored with gratitude journaling or feeling
Speaker 1: like we're writing the same thing every single day is
Speaker 1: when we're able to be more descriptive, more in depth,
Speaker 1: taking a deeper dive into the details of what's going
Speaker 1: on for me though this week or today or in
Speaker 1: this moment that I'm grateful for that is impacting me
Speaker 1: as an individual. That's positive and so it's this shift
Speaker 1: from what's negative, what's awful? Where's the failed relationships, where's
Speaker 1: the money problems, where's this or the that, even in
Speaker 1: the midst of that. And it's not to discount those things,
Speaker 1: it's not to just be wide eyed, bushey tailed rose
Speaker 1: colored glasses. We recognize those things are still happening. But
Speaker 1: this active exercise, this practicing the muscle of even in
Speaker 1: the midst of those difficulties, though, what has happened in
Speaker 1: ing for you that you can be grateful for even
Speaker 1: connected to that difficulty, Like, Okay, there's a failed relationship,
Speaker 1: but what's going on in the midst of that that
Speaker 1: might be a positive thing for you that you're glad
Speaker 1: that's happening, or that you're experiencing or is a product
Speaker 1: of this event. And so being descriptive, personal and positive
Speaker 1: is going to help to change up the pace of
Speaker 1: the journal every day, but also in bed the gratitude
Speaker 1: even deeper. Absolutely, yeah, I love that loss of version reference,
Speaker 1: because for every ten positive things that happened to us,
Speaker 1: we remember the one negative. And I can tell you
Speaker 1: this for a fact. It's why we don't read our
Speaker 1: iTunes reviews. Why yes, It's why we have an assistant
Speaker 1: who reads our emails because of her every ten beautiful, supportive,
Speaker 1: really great reviews that you send. Does one person is like,
Speaker 1: we don't like the ads or we don't like their voices,
Speaker 1: and that, I mean, that's silly. So but it does
Speaker 1: affect us. So yeah, don't fight against it. Don't say
Speaker 1: you know, I'm better than that. It doesn't affect me.
Speaker 1: It does. So let's figure out ways to put up
Speaker 1: boundaries and to be focusing and more intentional on the positive. Alright,
Speaker 1: So number two, and this is my favorite one, and
Speaker 1: this is the one. If you're doing something, come back
Speaker 1: to me. Come I'll give you a second. Come back
Speaker 1: to me. Number two, don't go through the motions, and
Speaker 1: don't overdo it, because when we want to start something,
Speaker 1: you know, you go out and buy the bullet journal,
Speaker 1: you start the doodling, You miss cooking dinner because you're
Speaker 1: putting stickers in the planner. Want Yeah, but I use
Speaker 1: my planner. Don't don't overdo it. Don't overestimate your capacity
Speaker 1: for being able to gratitude journal, because that will only
Speaker 1: lead to either a dropping off and just not doing it,
Speaker 1: or going through the motions. Because you've set so much
Speaker 1: up for yourself, so much expectation, and you don't have
Speaker 1: the mental energy or time to complete to fulfill your
Speaker 1: own expectations. Uh and so and the author is saying
Speaker 1: they did the same thing. They cite this research study that, um,
Speaker 1: this person with a long name suggests writing less in
Speaker 1: your gratitude journal, but still under some sort of structure
Speaker 1: or schedule, and when you expect that and plan for that,
Speaker 1: it actually leads to more happiness than writing more often. Uh.
Speaker 1: And the author has said they felt like this has
Speaker 1: been effective. This is been effective in their journaling. So
Speaker 1: think about short and sweet. So this is like story
Speaker 1: for my life. I was doing really bad with taking
Speaker 1: my prenatal vitamin. I just couldn't like remember. So I
Speaker 1: had to habit stack it, which is connecting it to
Speaker 1: an already established habit. That habit for me, for me
Speaker 1: is playing um Solitaire, not solid yeah, solitaire, playing Solitaire
Speaker 1: in bed before I go to sleep. That's just my
Speaker 1: nightly routine. As I get in bed and I play
Speaker 1: a game of Solitaire and I go to sleep. So
Speaker 1: before I'm allowed to play solitaire, I take my prenatal
Speaker 1: vitamin and I don't have to worry about it. And
Speaker 1: so I was thinking, like, oh, that would be really good.
Speaker 1: I could take my prenatal vitamin and then do the
Speaker 1: gratitude journaling one question at night, and then I can
Speaker 1: play my game of Solitaire. That's how I would stack
Speaker 1: the habit and it would just be one question. I
Speaker 1: was looking for apps like gratitude journaling apps. There are
Speaker 1: so many. So if you find social media or something
Speaker 1: on your phone to be a habit for you, and
Speaker 1: you can download one of these apps and be like,
Speaker 1: before I can do this, I must do this. This
Speaker 1: is the gratitude journaling on the phone. It breaks down
Speaker 1: the barrier to entry because it's not like you're looking
Speaker 1: for a pen and a journal. You're already on the phone.
Speaker 1: So look at these. Just search for Gratitude in the
Speaker 1: app store and pick one, and you can stack the
Speaker 1: habit that way. They have some with a lot of questions,
Speaker 1: some with one question. Some you can choose the amount
Speaker 1: of questions. Try that and don't overdo it and really
Speaker 1: stick to number one in in being really intentional. When
Speaker 1: you do it, whatever you do it, do it well.
Speaker 1: Their third tip is related to Tim Ferriss's gratitude journal methods.
Speaker 1: I don't follow him, but here you go. This is
Speaker 1: the four things like us. He recommends focusing on focus
Speaker 1: on relationships, focus on opportunities, focus on great events, focus
Speaker 1: on simple things. So relationships, opportunities, great events, simple things.
Speaker 1: I think it's a decent prompt to consider. Like you're saying, Jen,
Speaker 1: but what what am I writing about? What am I saying?
Speaker 1: How do I avoid just saying my health, my family,
Speaker 1: my house every day? And your gratitude journal? And this
Speaker 1: is a way, this is a helpful prompt to kind
Speaker 1: of get into some of those greater details and for
Speaker 1: what's currently happening in your life? What are the current
Speaker 1: relationships that you're grateful for and what's and and taking
Speaker 1: it further, which goes back to that tip number one
Speaker 1: of being descriptive and personal. You know, not just my husband,
Speaker 1: my kid, my this, my that, but what about that?
Speaker 1: That's where we can kind of continue the train of
Speaker 1: thought and not get so just simplistic and repetitive. But
Speaker 1: who are the relationships right now? And what are you
Speaker 1: grateful for about them? What's happening in relationship with them
Speaker 1: currently that you're thankful for? What opportunities are happening that
Speaker 1: you're glad for what big events might have just happened
Speaker 1: or upcoming. And and then just simple things with simple
Speaker 1: things are you grateful for? And I love that one.
Speaker 1: I think that one is something that I often go
Speaker 1: to when I want to practice gratitude or I'm thinking
Speaker 1: in that more so in that space kind of getting
Speaker 1: down to the the really basics, like I'm grateful for
Speaker 1: a pen that works because we know what it's like
Speaker 1: when another pens in our house work. Or I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for right like just like the simple things. I think
Speaker 1: that's a fun way, and it's also fun to kind
Speaker 1: of think about what are the mound and simple things
Speaker 1: that just really make life more pleasant. Yeah, well that
Speaker 1: leads into number four, which I never thought about, but
Speaker 1: I really do love. Is you surprises as gratitude journal triggers.
Speaker 1: So whenever something important, surprising, or memorable works its way
Speaker 1: into your life, you can use the event as a
Speaker 1: trigger to jump into your gratitude journal. That way, you
Speaker 1: remember these things that that these good things that just
Speaker 1: happened to happen to you, um and be thankful for them,
Speaker 1: because if you don't write them down, you will absolutely
Speaker 1: forget them. And I think once we realize that the
Speaker 1: world is not against us, that a lot of good
Speaker 1: things are happening to us every day, I think that
Speaker 1: can really change how we interact with people and the world.
Speaker 1: And I love the idea of this. I do love
Speaker 1: that one. I think it's a great tip because we
Speaker 1: can often forget, just like you were referencing earlier, of
Speaker 1: the one negative thing can overshadow five positive things. But
Speaker 1: if we embed the positive to deeper levels, like writing it,
Speaker 1: like thinking about it, like putting action to it, then
Speaker 1: it's going to help our brains to focus on that
Speaker 1: more rather than the one negative thing. And lastly, another
Speaker 1: tip on here number five is that we could consider
Speaker 1: gratitude in the morning and reflection in the evening. So
Speaker 1: this is just another way to approach the day, another
Speaker 1: way to kind of implement this concept within a routine
Speaker 1: with an habit formation that you could put your gratitude
Speaker 1: journaling in the morning kind of alongside a cup of
Speaker 1: coffee or brushing your teeth, you name it. Think habit stacking,
Speaker 1: and consider some sort of journal prompt for the morning
Speaker 1: that that is gratitude, and then the evening could be
Speaker 1: a really great time for some of that reflection. We're
Speaker 1: wrapping up the day, we're thinking about what just happened,
Speaker 1: we're preparing for rest, and gratitude can be a part
Speaker 1: of that too, But reflecting back on what just happened
Speaker 1: in the day, what what went well, what didn't go well?
Speaker 1: How can I implement a growth mindset in those areas.
Speaker 1: So that's another really great way that we could frame
Speaker 1: just day to day. Yeah, I would say, if you
Speaker 1: don't think you can do morning and evening, definitely prioritize
Speaker 1: evening because there's more downtime in the evening. I know
Speaker 1: a lot of people are just rushing after hitting snooze
Speaker 1: three times, just rushing to get out the door in
Speaker 1: the morning. So yes, you can set your alarm five
Speaker 1: minutes earlier and accomplished this. It's not going to take
Speaker 1: a long time. But start small again, start small, start
Speaker 1: sustainably and build. Do you know what I'm rushing towards?
Speaker 1: There is the set pins of urgency on this one,
Speaker 1: and I just I want to run. I want to
Speaker 1: run towards it and just bury my face in it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a habit I've I've implemented day, night, afternoon,
Speaker 1: it's so sustainable, it's so healthy. It's the bill of
Speaker 1: the week. That's right. It's time for the best minute
Speaker 1: of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and
Speaker 1: his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage.
Speaker 1: Maybe your car died, and you're happy to not have
Speaker 1: to pay that bill anymore. To Bill Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton,
Speaker 1: this is the bill of the week. Hi, Jin and Jill.
Speaker 1: My name is Stiffy and I'm calling from New Zealand.
Speaker 1: About six months a guy started listening to the Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends podcast because I really wanted to pay off my
Speaker 1: credit card, but I didn't think that I earned enough
Speaker 1: to be able to. So I decided that my reward
Speaker 1: when I did finally pay it off would be that
Speaker 1: I could ring through my bill of the week. So,
Speaker 1: with all the things that I've learned from you, I'm
Speaker 1: excited to say that I was able to make my
Speaker 1: final bill payment on the credit card yesterday. Thanks so much,
Speaker 1: by Stephie. Oh my gosh. Yes, this is what we're
Speaker 1: here for. You didn't think you made enough to do it,
Speaker 1: and then you did it. You proved yourself wrong, and
Speaker 1: I love that. I also love this real time example
Speaker 1: of well, I don't know if it's habit stacking, but
Speaker 1: kind of it's I guess it's not. But it's like
Speaker 1: waiting for that reward to be able to do something
Speaker 1: like kind of motivation, yeah, yeah, gamifying it. Yeah, making
Speaker 1: sure that you get something accomplished before you're able to
Speaker 1: do something, which is related to what we're talking about today,
Speaker 1: which is so amazing, well done, and how honored we
Speaker 1: feel that this was your reward to call in to
Speaker 1: the podcast and share this. We are so privileged. This
Speaker 1: is why we're doing Frugirl Friends podcast dot com slash stories.
Speaker 1: This is why we're doing this, Stuffy. If you're listening,
Speaker 1: head there, we want to like talk to you more.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we want to be the place where you
Speaker 1: celebrate your debt payoff. And this is this gets us fired.
Speaker 1: I am so I think you means she means fired up.
Speaker 1: Everyone not fired. She can't she can't be fired, which
Speaker 1: is you know, a blessing and a curse. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I can fire myself, I guess, but I am fired up.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Stuffy. This is amazing and gosh,
Speaker 1: I hope you also do something else besides calling you
Speaker 1: your bill because you are celebrating. Yeah, all the all
Speaker 1: the celebration emojis are being sent your way. Um, if
Speaker 1: you are listening and you've got a bill, if the
Speaker 1: sending in your bill is a reward for something for
Speaker 1: you and it's motivation to get that thing done or that,
Speaker 1: I don't know, if you're just listening and you're like, sure,
Speaker 1: I'll dial that number. Either way, we're here for that.
Speaker 1: Visit frugal fens dot com slash bill, leave us your bill.
Speaker 1: We are ready for it, and we're also ready for cute.
Speaker 1: You know, there's an ad break between the Bill of
Speaker 1: the Week and the Lightning Round. So just people, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm just imagining how people are going to hear it.
Speaker 1: All right, our editor he'll he'll yeah, I'm sure to
Speaker 1: you it sounded great. Just then, all right, what is
Speaker 1: something you are grateful for today? Right now? Today? And
Speaker 1: mine's actually changed. So I wrote down in the outline
Speaker 1: my health because in September my health was very poor
Speaker 1: and it felt very out of my control and it
Speaker 1: was it was mentally draining on top of being physically drained.
Speaker 1: And so I have I'm really really I'm just right
Speaker 1: now in like this new renewed like thankfulness for not
Speaker 1: living with not struggling with that consistently. So I'm I'm
Speaker 1: really thankful for that. But I so maybe it's just
Speaker 1: like I'm proud of myself. I took off wallpaper on
Speaker 1: a wall over the weekend and I primed it, and
Speaker 1: last night I could not stop looking at that wall.
Speaker 1: I was just staring at the wall. And Travis came
Speaker 1: over and he's like, are you staring at the wall?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, yes, yes I am. I'm
Speaker 1: staring at the wall that used to be covered in
Speaker 1: horrible wallpaper and paneling and a heart border border with
Speaker 1: with hearts and it's white now and just sitting in
Speaker 1: the gratitude of a wallpaper free wall. Mm hmmm. Wallpaper
Speaker 1: is coming back in but unfortunately not that kind of
Speaker 1: not the wallpaper in my house. The wallpaper in my
Speaker 1: house is never coming back in style. I guarantee you
Speaker 1: it's already been through like things from the eighties have
Speaker 1: come back, things from the nineties have come back, and
Speaker 1: that's where it's from, and that has not come back
Speaker 1: with it. So I guarantee it's not making a comeback. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's time has passed. There are just some things that
Speaker 1: were poor decisions and they quickly recognized it. But then
Speaker 1: then it was too much work to recover, so they
Speaker 1: left it. But there is a first layer of wallpaper
Speaker 1: in the bathroom from the seventies. I saw that could
Speaker 1: come back. I Uh. Similarly, I am grateful for progress
Speaker 1: on our renovations. And and this is an example of
Speaker 1: for me actively choosing gratitude in the midst of something
Speaker 1: where I am naturally pulled to and drawn to maybe
Speaker 1: the more negative side of things. Like what I can
Speaker 1: find myself saying is, We've lived in this house for
Speaker 1: over two years. And when we bought this house over
Speaker 1: two years ago, we said, the priority is the kitchen.
Speaker 1: We've got a We've we have to like I mean
Speaker 1: literally the cabinets were falling off the wall and like
Speaker 1: it was a danger zone. We we had to get
Speaker 1: a new kitchen, and we did got it. But I
Speaker 1: am over two years of living in this house and
Speaker 1: I don't have a kitchen, so like, so like I
Speaker 1: could focus on that side of the things, you know,
Speaker 1: just sometimes I do, just for example, hypothetically I could
Speaker 1: do that. Those are the things I could say, But
Speaker 1: instead I'm choosing to say, progress is being made and
Speaker 1: I am seeing steps towards this goal, and I am
Speaker 1: grateful for that. Progress feels so much better than stagnation.
Speaker 1: It can be very difficult for me to just want
Speaker 1: to be done with it. We are not done with it,
Speaker 1: so I'm choosing gratitude through through grittedity. It looks so
Speaker 1: good right now though, Yeah, then without cabinets or times
Speaker 1: better space. Right now it's a blank space with nothing.
Speaker 1: It looks ten times better than what it looked like
Speaker 1: when you bought it. Yeah, with Jack Kyle and white walls,
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. Thank you, Jen. I'm I'm gripping onto that gratitude.
Speaker 1: You should to be a booie to carry me through.
Speaker 1: And thank you so much for listening. We are grateful
Speaker 1: for you because literally, we probably wouldn't be doing this
Speaker 1: if we didn't have so many of you listening. So
Speaker 1: you are. You are literally why we are doing this,
Speaker 1: and we are so grateful to you. You are essential
Speaker 1: and because we are so grateful for you, we have
Speaker 1: extras that we offer people who want more from us,
Speaker 1: so especially for people who are paying off debt. We
Speaker 1: have a private community where we do monthly money challenges
Speaker 1: back to that external motivation UM and we offer accountability groups,
Speaker 1: so we want to congratulate one of our members in
Speaker 1: that group for a big one. This is from Tanaya.
Speaker 1: She says, having very little money and always feeling like
Speaker 1: we were on the brink of disaster growing up, I
Speaker 1: knew I needed to be more intentional with my money.
Speaker 1: As I made more, I spent less than I needed
Speaker 1: so that I can increase my philanthropic donations. Yet some
Speaker 1: of that was unhealed trauma and the guilt of getting
Speaker 1: out of poverty. Turns out I was still very much
Speaker 1: in poverty according to the National Fingers. Yet I had
Speaker 1: done so many things differently that I felt like I
Speaker 1: had excess, so I gave more than I should have.
Speaker 1: It was toxic way of looking at money, and I've
Speaker 1: since learned that spending money based on my values doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be emotionally triggering. So I saved up for
Speaker 1: a computer that would allow me to write while I'm
Speaker 1: on the road. Uh And until now I've been trying
Speaker 1: to use my iPad for writing, which wasn't a good plan.
Speaker 1: I also learned this month about the values of my
Speaker 1: goals and dreams and how to articulate what those goals
Speaker 1: and dreams are going to cost financially. I've created a
Speaker 1: breakdown model of what my ten year goals look like
Speaker 1: and how to achieve them and bite sized chunks and
Speaker 1: then waiting ten years and wondering why instead of what
Speaker 1: waiting ten years and wondering why they didn't happen. So
Speaker 1: this was great. This was from our values challenge Values
Speaker 1: based Spending Challenge that we did, well done, and I
Speaker 1: think it shows It gives an example of how even
Speaker 1: connecting back to our experiences with money and our views
Speaker 1: of money can really make big shifts and the way
Speaker 1: that we approach it, the way that we utilize it
Speaker 1: as a tool and as a resource. And yes, it's
Speaker 1: good to understand our values and it's excellent to be
Speaker 1: able to understand the full picture and the ways that
Speaker 1: money decisions that were modeled to us continue to impact
Speaker 1: us into adulthood and the ways in which we can
Speaker 1: shift some of that. And this is a fantastic example
Speaker 1: of of a win in that regard. Well done. Yes,
Speaker 1: So if you want to check out our monthly challenge community,
Speaker 1: head to Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash club to
Speaker 1: see everything we have going on in there. See You
Speaker 1: Next Time by Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Syrian Jill.
Speaker 1: I'm drinking from your favorite establishment, oh jen, mm hmm,
Speaker 1: a big grande pumpkin spice latte. Are you are you
Speaker 1: snapping for for Eric to bring you something right now?
Speaker 1: I didn't let you'd hear that. Of course I heard it.
Speaker 1: You snapped right and Eric. Eric came into the room
Speaker 1: because I think he heard that. We wrapped up the episode,
Speaker 1: even though you know, we always do a little bit
Speaker 1: of like a an additional little peep. That's why I
Speaker 1: have to lock my door when h So he brought
Speaker 1: me in an egg burrito and also from Linda and
Speaker 1: then and then, but my coffee was empty. So as
Speaker 1: he was walking out the door, I snapped. I don't
Speaker 1: know he did, he just did. And now he's dancing
Speaker 1: hear me, Oh I might have to leave. Oh God,
Speaker 1: but that ruined everything that I was going to say,
Speaker 1: So sorry, episode. I'm so it was better though. The
Speaker 1: best things are unplanned. Um. Yeah, you know what. My
Speaker 1: gratitude for making coffee at home. It diminishes my need
Speaker 1: to purchase it elsewhere. But I never have the need
Speaker 1: to purchase it from Starbucks. Ever. Like ever, I personally
Speaker 1: had stars that were expiring, and I was like nine
Speaker 1: stars away from getting a free drink. With a star,
Speaker 1: A star is like a reward point Starbuck. They rename sizes,
Speaker 1: they rename the point system. Okay, that's what you should
Speaker 1: that's good brand caught up. It's not as good as
Speaker 1: eye Hoops, which is pan coins. But I digress. But
Speaker 1: I have nine points away from a free drink, and
Speaker 1: my I had If you don't use your stars in
Speaker 1: six months, they expire. So I was like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: have to get nine more points, nine more stars, and
Speaker 1: then I can get a free drink. But I have
Speaker 1: to get it by Monday. Oh my gosh, Jen, that's
Speaker 1: that's the that's classic though, Like I know, oh, in
Speaker 1: order to say to spend it, but you wouldn't have
Speaker 1: maybe spent that money. So you did that just so
Speaker 1: you could get a free drink. But it caused you
Speaker 1: to have to spend more just so you can get
Speaker 1: that free drink. M hm. You fell victim to that market.
Speaker 1: I never said that I'm perfect, But also I don't
Speaker 1: stop at Starbucks that often. If my points were going
Speaker 1: to expire, Jen, I've got one thing to say to you,
Speaker 1: It's that you're going to make me. You don't need
Speaker 1: star No, well sure you don't need stars when you
Speaker 1: are a star. To shoo affirmation, you isshooting stuff you
Speaker 1: don't need to under starts. I don't know what something
Speaker 1: that is. That's definitely not going to get a copyrighted
Speaker 1: for that. Whatever it is, we're definitely safe. Love that
Speaker 1: gave bless you, bless you, dear friend,