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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARVFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know, it

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Speaker 1: could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Muckle up, hold on type, We

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Speaker 2: got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject why can't I talk to my ex?

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. My fiance and I have been together

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Speaker 1: for three years. I have two children from a previous

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Speaker 1: relationship and he has one child We have one together,

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Speaker 1: giving us a total of four children. Since the beginning

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Speaker 1: of our relationship, he has made it clear that I

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Speaker 1: am only allowed to talk to the father of my

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Speaker 1: children if it has to do with the children. That

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Speaker 1: was fine with me at first, but there are other

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Speaker 1: times that I need to talk to him because I

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Speaker 1: I'm the property manager for three of his properties. It's

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Speaker 1: my job. My fiance hates it, but business is business.

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Speaker 1: When it comes to my fiance talking to the mother

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Speaker 1: of his children. They talk often. She calls him at

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Speaker 1: least three times a week to tell him the stupidest things,

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Speaker 1: like if she ran into a guy they both know,

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Speaker 1: or if she wants to gossip about someone they grew

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Speaker 1: up with. He said it's a different situation with him

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Speaker 1: and his ex because they share a daughter and girls

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Speaker 1: are different. He said, my sons lived with my ex,

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Speaker 1: so I have no reason to be talking to my

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Speaker 1: ex all the time. I recently read some messages between

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Speaker 1: him and his ex and they were discussing me. He

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Speaker 1: was telling her that he loves me and I'm a

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Speaker 1: good mother and a hard worker. He assured her that

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Speaker 1: he did not cheat on her with me. I went

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Speaker 1: off on him. He told me that he owed her

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Speaker 1: that conversation because she still hurt. I told him that

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Speaker 1: when relationships end, people are hurt and that's life, so

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Speaker 1: she needs to get over it. He still doesn't get it.

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Speaker 1: So now I talk to my ex whenever I need

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Speaker 1: to and purposely walk out of the room to irritate

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Speaker 1: my fiance. He said, I'm not ready for marriage because

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Speaker 1: I like playing games. But what game is he playing?

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Speaker 1: So I can't talk to my ex but he can. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is a mess right here. Do you see what's

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Speaker 1: happening here? You guys are in no way ready for marriage.

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Speaker 1: I don't care if you have been together for three years.

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Speaker 1: You're too childish with this tit for tad back and

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Speaker 1: forth stuff. And he's controlling in a sense when you

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Speaker 1: can't talk to your ex and all of that foolishness.

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Speaker 1: He's made up his own rules about it being different

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Speaker 1: between boys and girls, and about his ex still being hurt,

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Speaker 1: and that's why he talks to her. That's nonsense. He

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Speaker 1: just wants to do whatever he wants, but regulate what

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Speaker 1: you do in this particular situation. A marriage is never

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Speaker 1: gonna work like this, It just isn't. I strongly suggest

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Speaker 1: marriage counseling and couples in individual therapy for you both.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if not, you shouldn't even bother walking down

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Speaker 1: the aisland trying to get married to this guy, because

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Speaker 1: you'll be writing Steve and I again, but this time,

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Speaker 1: the next time it'll be about your divorce, because this

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Speaker 1: is not gonna work.

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Speaker 3: Steve Man, this is crazy right here. Well, let me

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Speaker 3: just go on and get to the letter. The tight

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Speaker 3: letter letter is this? Why can't I talk to my ex?

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Speaker 3: My response to that is cause it makes me throw up.

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Speaker 4: Why I can't talk my.

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Speaker 3: Ex I could try, but I'm a vomit so I don't.

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Speaker 4: You know, it's one of the feelings I don't like.

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Speaker 2: I don't like.

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Speaker 3: You know how you feel when you throw up, You

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Speaker 3: kind of feel it coming. You look at that little

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Speaker 3: and you y'all, and you really you're regretting it, and

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Speaker 3: you start sweating a little bit. You know, when you're

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Speaker 3: finished THORWK, you start sweating a little bit because your

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Speaker 3: body preparing itself for this. That's what it's like if

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Speaker 3: I talk to my ex So I don't. I swear

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Speaker 3: I don't talk to my expert. Then this lady got

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Speaker 3: another problem. Uh, y'all been together three years year and

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Speaker 3: your fiance you got two children from a previous relationship,

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Speaker 3: and he got one child, and then y'all got one together,

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Speaker 3: y'all got four kids, and since beginning a relationship, he'd

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Speaker 3: have told you that you're only allowed to talk to

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Speaker 3: the father of your children if it's got to do

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Speaker 3: with the children.

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Speaker 4: Well, she said that was.

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Speaker 3: Fine, but there are other times I need to talk

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Speaker 3: to him because I'm the property manager for three of

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Speaker 3: his property it's my job. Well, that is true. That

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Speaker 3: is tr My fiance hates it, but business is business.

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Speaker 3: But what she said, when it comes to my fiance

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Speaker 3: talking to the mother of his children, they talk all

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Speaker 3: the time. She calls him three times a week to

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Speaker 3: tell him the stupidest stuff, like if she ran into

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Speaker 3: a guy they both knew, or she wants the gospel

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Speaker 3: about somebody they grew up with. He said, it's a

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Speaker 3: different situation with him and his ex because they share

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Speaker 3: a daughter and girls are different.

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Speaker 4: Boy, what.

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Speaker 3: Boy, boy, you're just coming up with Ruth.

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Speaker 4: Now, no, we got a daughter together. They this girls

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Speaker 4: is different. What man?

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Speaker 3: So, like, you know, y'all got boys, so y'all ain't

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Speaker 3: got to talk about raising them, right, But I got

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Speaker 3: this girl over here and I got to get involved

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Speaker 3: mode less and hear about this other stuff.

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Speaker 4: And then he.

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Speaker 3: Told you that your sons live with your ex, So

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Speaker 3: I ain't got no reason to be talking my ex

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Speaker 3: all the time.

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Speaker 4: So damn dog.

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Speaker 3: So this woman gonna just stop talking to the man

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Speaker 3: that has her two sons.

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Speaker 4: I'm confused.

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Speaker 3: She said that I recently read some messages between him

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Speaker 3: and his ex and they was discussing me and he

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Speaker 3: was telling the girl that he loves me and I'm

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Speaker 3: a good mother and a hard worker.

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Speaker 4: Well, I don't know, you know, I don't know. You

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Speaker 4: know the yo hump.

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Speaker 3: Your man got custody of the boys, right, but they

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Speaker 3: gave him boys to they dad.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, hang up, We'll have part two, he.

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Speaker 3: Says in the Strawberry Letter. I'm just throwing this in

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Speaker 3: the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry Letter is subject why

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Speaker 1: can't I talk to my ex? We'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this.

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Speaker 4: Did you know?

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Speaker 3: and crossing some tea's, whaila, your Hondai is ready for

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Speaker 3: pick up.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject why can't I talk to my ex?

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Speaker 3: Well, like I told you before, if I were to

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Speaker 3: respond to the letter directly, why I can't talk to

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Speaker 3: my ex? It's simply because it make me throw up.

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Speaker 3: That's why I can't talk to my ex. Will I

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Speaker 3: just want to you know, we didn't you just say,

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Speaker 3: let's recap there that?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I did, I just say repeat.

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Speaker 3: So I'm just trying to recap it. That's the reason

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Speaker 3: I can't talk to my ex, because it make me

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Speaker 3: throw up. I don't like my jaw fill up with

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Speaker 3: that pocket of app you know how you and then

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Speaker 3: you get real hot, you know, when you fit to

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Speaker 3: throw up, you get real hoigh, and you start sweating

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Speaker 3: a little bit, and then it feel like it's coming,

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Speaker 3: but it don't come, and you get the look and

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Speaker 3: I can't stand that.

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Speaker 4: Just come on out. I can't stand. I can't.

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Speaker 3: I can't stand that fake throw up that they throw

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Speaker 3: on me. You know, when you know where you vomit,

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Speaker 3: but you don't vomit, you just eat it, you know,

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Speaker 3: and then your daddy stick you're franging down your throat

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Speaker 3: already got enough stuff back there now anyway. Anyway, they

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Speaker 3: they got these kids together and her she she has

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Speaker 3: two sons and her husband, her ex got custody of

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Speaker 3: the boys, and they have a son together now, and

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Speaker 3: he has a daughter, and he don't like when she

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Speaker 3: talked to her ex, but he talked to his ex

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Speaker 3: all the time. And the excuse he gave her, the

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Speaker 3: reason he get to talk to his ex all the

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Speaker 3: time because they got a daughter and daughters is different, right,

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Speaker 3: I said, I'll be damn. I didn't know you could

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Speaker 3: use that, So you can. You can use that. That's

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Speaker 3: a good one now, dog, And so anyway, you know.

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Speaker 3: She has also seen text messages between the two of them,

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Speaker 3: and one of the text messages was saying he really

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Speaker 3: loves you and that he thinks you a good mother.

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Speaker 3: But he said, says he loves you and you a

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Speaker 3: good mother.

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Speaker 4: And a hard worker and a hard worker.

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Speaker 3: But then he told her that, and then he said

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Speaker 3: to her that he didn't cheat on her.

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Speaker 1: With you, right right.

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Speaker 3: And then you went off on him and he told

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Speaker 3: you he felt like he owed her that conversation because

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Speaker 3: she's still hurt. Well, I got to give a damn

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Speaker 3: about that, man. Your woman don't give a damn.

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Speaker 4: She hurt. That's why y'all broke up because she hurt.

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Speaker 3: You don't owe her that conversation, that it wouldn't you

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Speaker 3: and all that there. You know, man, women always talking

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Speaker 3: about they gotta have clothes. Now, y'all just on the

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Speaker 3: phone talking about a whole bunch of other stuff. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: he said, you told her he needed to get over it.

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Speaker 3: He still don't get it. So now I talk to

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Speaker 3: my ex whenever I need to, and I purposely walk

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Speaker 3: out the room to irritate my fiance. He said, I'm

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Speaker 3: not ready for marriage because I like playing games. But

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Speaker 3: what game is he playing? So I can't talk to

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Speaker 3: my ex but he can. Okay, Both of y'all in

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Speaker 3: high school. Yeah, y'all in high school, and y'all need

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Speaker 3: to stop.

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Speaker 1: This twelve thirteen.

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Speaker 3: Facade or whatever y'all got going talk about. Y'all gonna

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Speaker 3: get married, and y'all two are at odds because y'all

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Speaker 3: have children from other relationships. It's called a blended family.

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Speaker 3: No blended family is perfect. It comes with problems. All

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Speaker 3: blended families come with problems. People kill me when they

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Speaker 3: talk the man we had a blended family. It's just beautiful, man.

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Speaker 3: We all love each other. You might, but them damn

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Speaker 3: kids is a trip, and the other damn people is

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Speaker 3: a trip. All you all y'all should work on is

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Speaker 3: just you and her. But once you let other people

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Speaker 3: inside your two hands to circle, you're gonna have problems

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Speaker 3: where I had to learn that personally, I can't make

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Speaker 3: everybody love each other. I can't make you be glad

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Speaker 3: you met them and all like this, go on about

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Speaker 3: your business.

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Speaker 4: But me and your mama, we gonna be good. Now.

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Speaker 3: Now y'all got small children, I'm assuming, so y'all gonna

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Speaker 3: have to work through some things. But like right now,

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Speaker 3: y'all don't seem like y'all need to get married. Y'all

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Speaker 3: need some counseling. And you very rarely hear me record

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Speaker 3: being counseling, very very rarely. I'm not really a therapy type.

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Speaker 3: Ask yeah, I'm not really. I'm not a therapy ass dude.

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Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go and be real with you. You know,

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Speaker 3: I've had people ask me to a ten therapy with them,

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Speaker 3: not my wife, but because my wife know I ain't going.

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Speaker 3: But I've had other people that I have relationships within

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Speaker 3: my family currently because you know, the these young ass kids,

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Speaker 3: they believe in therapy. But I talked to it in

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Speaker 3: this crazy and that's cool if that's what you need

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Speaker 3: to get through.

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Speaker 4: I got prayer, p I pray my way out of stuff.

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Speaker 3: So and that ain't for everybody, But I know I

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Speaker 3: know a woman, a partner's wife of mine, has been

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Speaker 3: with the same therapist get this for twenty five years.

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Speaker 1: Twenty five years.

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Speaker 4: The same therapist.

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Speaker 3: And I said, oh, that sain't the therapist. You just

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Speaker 3: got a homie, y'all. You just paid two hundred and

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Speaker 3: fifty hour to go in there and talk to your girl.

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Speaker 3: You mightst y'all just go, y'all going to have wine

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Speaker 3: and stuff. Because if you if you ain't goxed, if

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Speaker 3: you ain't got it fixed in twenty five years, I

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Speaker 3: thank y'all trying to fix it. Y'all just down there

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Speaker 3: sharing information. And she said, but she raised my kids,

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Speaker 3: She know all my kids everything. I said, See, that's

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Speaker 3: when it does you just a weekly appointment. But therapy

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Speaker 3: is good for some people, and some people get really

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Speaker 3: a lot of stuff out of therapy. And it's good

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Speaker 3: for you to go and talk to somebody.

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Speaker 4: That ain't for me. And that's all.

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Speaker 3: But I think this people need to go to therapy

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Speaker 3: because they then skipped over the prayer part.

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Speaker 1: You can leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on

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Speaker 1: Instagram or Facebook at Steve Harvey FM, and also check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 1: Coming up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right

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Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show