WEBVTT - An End of Year Q&A! 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:09.880 We hope you all had an amazing Christmas. This is 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:13.920 being recorded before Christmas. We were in Los Angeles, but 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:16.239 we thought it would be fun to do a little 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:23.000 fun Q and A session And uh yeah, it's always 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:24.440 nice to It's good. 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:26.840 Because you can't look disappointed at your Christmas presents. 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:30.840 I don't know, you know me, I don't care about 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.040 It's the little things. For me, it's the most meaningful things. 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:38.559 But anyways, I love being able to to do some 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:38.960 Q and A. 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:39.640 I think it's fun. 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:43.440 I think it's though I believe it's hard for you 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:44.960 at times because you're more private. 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:48.960 I actually I actually prefer them. See the ones that 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:51.479 can work on your screen. Just file them at me, 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.080 because you know what I like. I love the really 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:58.720 interests of people because I feel like I can call 0:00:58.760 --> 0:00:59.120 them out. 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:01.920 What do you think is intrusive? 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:02.280 Like? 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:04.240 Which? Which questions do you find intrusive? 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:07.960 Good questions? Hannah fired a couple of intrusive ones at me. 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:09.920 What you think are intrusive? 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:13.360 Here's one. I wonder if you think that this is intrusive? 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:14.679 Is Alan a Lions fan? 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:20.000 Yet that's not intrusive. Come on, Hannah, go hardcore me 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:20.320 with one? 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:28.360 Of course he is dah, I feel send to my stomach. 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:30.920 Guys, these I I kind of was hoping more from 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:34.800 some fans, but somebody asked his Mike ever watched Roman? 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:43.520 Honestly, what is it with people? Of course? What does 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:48.680 Mike ever watched Roman? Why would someone ask that? Well? 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:49.000 Has he? 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.000 No? Not really? 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:56.080 Ever, what if we get into like a tight spot 0:01:56.200 --> 0:02:00.120 where we need help when he's older and the we 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:01.520 don't have the kids that weekend? It's like, hey, do 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:02.840 you mind just taking Romanto? 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:08.840 No? No, no, it's a boundary. It doesn't get cross. 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:10.760 Not that I don't like Michael, don't trust them, but 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:16.560 just know it's just weird. Next question, Hannah, come on, help. 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:18.320 Maybe we have even more interested one. 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:22.000 How do you stop obsessing over an ex and their 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:22.600 new partner? 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:25.720 I think that there's a lot of context to that question, 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:30.120 because I think it's I think the context comes with 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:32.840 how the relationship ended. 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:34.799 So if that person cheated. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:38.200 On you and you then see them with someone else, 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:41.000 you're obsessing about them being with someone else because they 0:02:41.040 --> 0:02:45.840 hurt you, because you think that you know they're getting 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:46.480 the better version. 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:46.959 Or whatever. 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:52.680 I also think maybe if that person, you know, they 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:55.120 really they like that person more obviously, and another person 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:58.240 broke up with them, and then to see them, you know, 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.440 be this other to be happy with someone else. I 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:05.560 think it's it's hard because that was your relationship. But 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:10.840 I think to not spiral, you have to realize that, 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:14.120 you know, you're obviously your relationships over with and whatever 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:17.480 that relationship was wasn't wasn't it? So you're wasting your 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:21.680 time on something that that person doesn't think about you. 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:26.040 So why are you wasting your energy on someone that 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:27.320 doesn't really care about you? 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:33.840 Yeah? I understand that. I just have never been a 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:38.160 person that if I'm not with someone, I don't really 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:42.080 care who they was. Yeah, it makes no difference to 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:42.720 me whatsoever. 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:47.000 The only piece that I can relate to a little 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:52.160 bit is I felt like post divorce. I think it 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.160 wasn't even like obsession of like who he would be with, 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:56.160 but it was more like does does do they get 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:59.320 the better version? Do they get the healthy version? Do 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:01.520 they get the one that the one that I was 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:02.840 promised and deserved? 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:03.560 Absolutely? 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:06.760 Yeah, So I can see that piece of it. 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.160 I wouldn't say like I'm I was ever obsessed with it, 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:12.280 but like it was more like a hurt and like 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.480 a sadness, like oh that girl gets to get the 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:17.960 better version, but it's just a different version. 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:19.200 It's a myth. 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:23.120 Erica wants to know does Alan have any single brothers? 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:25.960 Yes? 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:29.160 I did have a brother who's single at the moment. Yeah, 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:34.000 I've only got one brother and he is he's single. Yeah. 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:36.719 We love Uncle Simon. Uncle Simon is a lot of 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:39.440 fun and every time I ever post him, people are 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:41.839 always like, ooh, hook me up with Alan's hot brother. 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:47.920 Yeah he's listen. I'll just say this. 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:50.720 If you can't understand Alan, you will never be able 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:54.240 to understand Simon. He is you. Simon and your dad 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:55.480 have the thickest accents ever. 0:04:56.160 --> 0:05:00.600 Yeah, he's glass. He speaks glass regent slang. Yeah, but 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.520 he's lovable and he's a good looking guy. 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:05.800 So can you give me a glass region slang talk 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:06.240 right now? 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:10.719 I'm not really a glass I'm not really a slang 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.200 glass region, never have been. 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.320 They gave me something your dad would say, I could 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:16.719 say it like quite fast, something that my dad. 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:20.800 Would say, what either or not for? 0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:23.120 I think we got that one. 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:25.560 That kind of springs to mind when it comes to 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.919 my dad all that second. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:31.960 That's actually kind of sad. 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:34.280 Tear. 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:36.840 Oh, not in a bad way, No, I know. Do 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:37.680 you know what he's like? Yeah? 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:38.960 Yeah, very loving. 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:41.640 Yeah. So I have a single brother who's a good 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:42.880 looking guy, very lovable. 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.520 He's a good looking dude. It's a very good looking family. 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:48.240 Your dad is a handsome man. Yes, your dad is 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.279 very handsome. Your mom is beautiful, Like, you have a 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:54.200 beautiful family. My mom had a crush on your dad 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:57.919 at the wedding, and I'm like, Mom, she was like, 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.680 his eyes are dream talking about Alan's dad. I was like, 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:03.599 I know, Mom, he's very handsome. She's like no, but 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:06.840 like I just I almost can't even look away. It's 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:10.200 just such a dream. And I was like, mom, you're. 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:13.520 Mary, you know. I was like, and he's married. 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.599 But she's like, oh, oh I know. But oh my gosh, 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:19.800 now I see where Alan gets it from. It was 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:20.919 like it was quite funny. 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:22.480 I was like, is there a love afair happening at 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:22.960 our wedding? 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:24.640 No? 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:30.000 Never, Alan, What are your favorite songs of Jana's? 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:36.080 Oh wow, Hannah, Baby, there's a easy shoeing that you should. 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:38.200 Get the one that really like. I don't know if 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:39.880 it's out yet. I don't want to see it in 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:40.599 case it's not out. 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:43.880 Which one was? Oh? The one with Jesse? Then I 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:45.040 do with Jesse hopefully? 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:46.920 Yeah? I like that one. It's catchy. I think that 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:47.520 will do well. 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:49.279 Not the wedding song? Aren't you next? 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:53.760 Oh listen, I'm not finished. I just wanted to clarify 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:55.760 if that one was thought yet. 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:59.159 We haven't even recorded yet. I need to Hey girl, Jesse, 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:00.520 we're still doing it. What's going on? 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:06.400 But obviously obviously the one that she wrote for the wedding. 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:10.840 It still makes me cry when I listen to it. Really, yeah, 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:16.520 absolutely every time I listened to its sweet thanks beautiful? 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:19.320 Do you and Alan go to therapy together? 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:26.560 Who asks that? Who wants to know that? What type? Torry? 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:28.560 I can't see that because they might be a nice person. 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:31.679 Do you have to remember the origin of the show. 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.360 So this show, well, it started just me or whatever, 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:39.800 and then Mike came on and then it became like 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:41.920 a train wreck show of people just like listening to 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:45.720 the train wreck. And now I think people are still. 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:47.920 Hanging out funny ones like do you fart in front 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.480 of Alan? Well, do you do you take a poop 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:54.120 in front of Alan? Well, I like, do you go 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:57.880 to therapy together? Just lowering the tone of the whole evening. 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:01.640 Should we answer the therapy one? 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:04.440 We have done? What we have done a couple of times. 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:08.560 Yeah, we actually had a great therapy session a couple 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:09.120 of weeks ago. 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:14.200 I thought, And your therapist loves me. 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:19.720 My therapist loves Alan. It's almost annoying where I'm like 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:21.880 Amy my side and. 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:28.800 She was just like he's a good guy. Channel she's fair. 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.200 But but you know, I think we have done and 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:34.320 I think therapy is something that is a good tool 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:40.240 for couples. And I'm not saying it's, you know, like 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:42.360 you have to go. Obviously some people don't believe in 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:43.880 going to therapy, but I think if you run into 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:46.640 an issue, I think and if you continue to run 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:49.080 into a certain thing, then it's I think it's a 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.800 healthy way to talk when you can't talk it out together. 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:54.520 And it's not saying we can't talk out our problems, 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:58.199 because we can and we have, but sometimes it's nice 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:00.959 to be able to have and it's and it's our 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:02.920 therapist that we kind of do like a join one 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:05.120 where it's you know, my therapist and his therapists. You know, 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.000 we all kind of and I think it's more of 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:09.920 a just I love it because it's all just like 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:11.440 healthy communication and. 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:13.920 It's never it's never a confrontation. 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:17.200 I think it's it's understanding each other because we both 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:18.599 have a lot of trauma on our past. And I 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:22.560 think it's putting when two people have a trauma traumatic 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:26.600 pass and you put it all in the pile together. 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:30.280 You know, it's it's it's helpful for him to hear 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:34.320 me speak about how certain things affect me that he 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:38.079 would not even think would affect me. And it's helpful 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:41.920 for him to hear my therapists just describe and help 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:45.000 me guy walk through it, and he has more understanding 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:47.520 of where I come from in certain areas and how 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:49.760 I communicate in certain ways, and he can have more 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:54.040 empathy with hearing me and my therapist talk about it, 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:55.280 right or No? 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:59.160 Yeah, absolutely, And I think it I think the stigma 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:02.160 of therapy is that we have issues is Yeah, I 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:04.559 think that's gone there. I think it's I think it's 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.599 actually a strong point or a strong part of a 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:11.440 relationship where you can actually go and have a couple's therapy. 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:15.360 If it's not reactive or okay, we need to check in. 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:18.440 We need to as an issue, who's come up and yeah, 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:21.880 it's probably best that we we get somebody else's insight 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:26.800 on it, a different voice in the room, so to speak. 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:28.840 So it's always been it's always been positive. 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:32.000 Yeah, I mean we're holding to other's hands and wiping 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.400 each other's tears and more like, I truly believe our 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.760 therapy is when we have had it, which is like 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:44.280 what two times it's been to have the other person 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.600 understand the other person and where they come from, and 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:51.920 for me to be more empathetic in certain areas, for 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:53.960 you to be more empathetic in certain areas, and for 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:57.400 it just to be more like, oh okay, and sometimes 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:01.319 having someone else help to describe that is easier than 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:02.880 just your wife being like, this is what I went 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.440 through and this is why it's hard, you know, So 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:20.000 I did. Have you ever heard in front of me? 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:26.760 No, yes, you have, when Babe, I go to at 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:31.960 least going to the pantry when you're in a lounge, 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:37.679 it's quite loud. I've never deliberately farted in front of you. 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:41.239 Maybe in my sleep. I fought, yeah, because. 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:44.040 Naturally you go in the other room. But unfortunately usually 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:45.600 it's allowed one when you go in the other room. 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:47.520 So therefore I had never foughted in front of you 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:49.840 because that's another room. 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:50.160 True. 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:53.319 I told you, though, you can let it flow if 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:54.720 you want, like we've were married. 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:58.360 I see, I don't agree with that. I don't ever 0:11:58.400 --> 0:11:59.880 want to get to a point where you'll just far 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:00.720 and in front of me. 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:02.199 Well, I wouldn't. 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:04.040 I like your little but I don't want to heat 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:04.680 it fat. 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:11.199 Okay, Oh I haven't. I wouldn't like I want to 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:18.800 keep it yeah, like it's and I haven't. But I'm 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:19.880 fine if you want to. 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:22.280 If you fart in front of me and it smelt, 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:24.480 I would be haunted by that. 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:28.680 Do you part from your husband an? 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:29.840 Absolutely? 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.040 Yeah? Okay, because I mean I haven't either, but like 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:32.880 some people are. 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:34.880 If you should that. She's not going to say that's 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:39.920 based on what I've just said. Let's get Hannah's husband 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:43.959 on here, not. 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:46.120 Tell you that. I get way too embarrassed about that. 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:51.120 I think it's yeah, not like I've done it once 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:53.439 in a different room loudly and you laughed. 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.199 I did. I think it's funny. Yeah, but I do 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:57.520 agree with you. I think it'd be rude if you 0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:58.240 did it all the time. 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:02.960 Absolutely. I think it just he's a little ref of disrespect. 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:06.560 I don't think it's disrespect. I think it's just like laziness. 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:11.000 Not laziness. I think it's like you lose the passion. 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:13.679 Yes, maybe, like. 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.200 I wouldn't want to like have sex with you right 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:16.760 after you've started, you know what I mean? 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:20.320 Like, Janna, do you like Mike's new girlfriend. 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:24.040 I haven't met her yet, I have said him, sorry, 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:29.800 I haven't met her yet, but he had asked if 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:34.120 I wanted to meet her, and I think before she 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.560 meets the kids. I think I would like to meet 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.720 her because I know how serious he is about this 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:43.480 relationship so and not because again we need to like 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.520 bread each other's hair or something. I just, you know, 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.200 as the mom, I like to know who my child's 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:50.640 hanging around. And I respectfully did the same thing. I 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.520 asked her if he wanted to meet you before you 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.640 met the kids, which you guys ended up hanging out 0:13:55.679 --> 0:14:00.840 afterwards because your travel and stuff. But yeah, I mean 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.440 I look forward to the day that I do. 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.200 You kind of touched on this one earlier, but someone asked, 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:09.280 what made you decide to have Alan on as a 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:10.280 host after Mike. 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:11.680 I feel like you said never again. 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:13.359 I did. 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.560 To be feel as a couple of things, jo said, Yeah, 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.080 you've been angry. This is why I didn't want to 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:21.680 do this again. 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:24.040 Yeah, it's like I never want to show up podcasting, 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:26.120 like I don't want to have the energy of like 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:28.760 being annoyed at the person. Or I was like, I 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:30.000 don't like how that feels. 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.080 Yeah, it's a couple of things. We have to navigate 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:32.560 that a little. 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:34.440 Yeah, because it's like it's hard. 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.800 We have annoyed me, and I'm like, I have to podcast, Joanna. 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:43.440 Now I'm angry when I'm podcasting. How can I focus 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:44.400 when I'm angry at you? 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:47.880 It's hard sometimes, not like it's not hard with like us, 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:52.760 but it's hard, like I But I love it because 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:54.280 this is this is what I think. I'm going to 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:58.880 clarify that last statement I said I would never most 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:02.080 likely have a podcast again with someone that I was 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.200 in a relationship with. But I'm not doing it the 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:05.800 same way that I did with the MIC because we're 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:12.520 not hashing out really private things like yes, we've. 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:13.000 Just talked about that. 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.520 We go to therapy and you know, certain things like that, 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:20.160 but we're not hashing out anything that is. 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:22.600 A negative part of the relationship. 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:24.960 Yeah, and even so we don't but we don't even 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:28.720 have that piece, you know. And but so I like, 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.960 we wouldn't even have to do that, but I don't. 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:35.960 There's a level of yeah, respect that there's it's just 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:39.120 different in this relationship. And so that's where I felt 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:43.600 like it would. Now it's sometimes I think we need 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:46.000 to up the antie so we can get a little 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:54.880 more listens because it's we're too happy confrontational. People like 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:56.160 conflict and that's what it's like. 0:15:58.040 --> 0:15:58.640 But I don't. 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:04.760 Up a notch your bloodless levels blunt this? Yeah, is 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:05.640 there anything to be blunt? 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:08.200 I want to hand to pick out a really awful 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:13.040 one so I can get annoyed at someone. 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:15.680 People were nice to you during this Q and I 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:19.000 they aren't always, but this one was a nice one. 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:21.880 What is one thing you guys can't agree on it? 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:23.520 And how do you navigate it? 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:27.880 Okay, I've got one. I've got one. So I got 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:31.880 up earlier than Jana every morning. Well we mention this 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:32.440 or that. 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:34.680 Oh you mentioned everyone try. 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.040 Get up earlier. I normally get up some things. It 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:40.280 will be five thirty, sometimes it will be six. But 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:43.080 like everyone in life, when you set your alarm for 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:46.440 five thirty, you sometimes don't feel a getting up when 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:54.880 it goes off. So Jana gets annoyed because and I 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:58.720 don't agree with this one bit. One bit, she gets 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:01.320 annoyed because the alarm goes off, and listen. I've got 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.480 the quietest, most peaceful alarm you'll ever here because I 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:08.199 know a noiser so gradually wakes me up. It's like 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:11.760 music to my ears. But when I don't get up 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:14.840 and the alarm is rough, she goes into bad mood. 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.399 He's like, well, you sit your alarm and walk us 0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:19.200 up at five thirty and then you don't get up. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.919 I'm letting what sometimes I don't feel like getting up 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:23.879 my alarm and then. 0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:26.440 Don't set your alarm at an ungodly hour. 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:29.760 It's not an ungodly nour five thirty. You've got to 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:34.080 realize that when I get up at five thirty, it's 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:35.080 eleven thirty. 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:36.880 In the UK, right, But I identify as. 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:41.960 That I need to deal with before the meatball and 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:44.639 the rest of them get up. So it gives me. 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:47.080 It gives me a ninety minute window of getting stuff 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:49.520 done in the office. And I understand that morning, I 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:52.080 just don't feel like getting up exactly when my alarm 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.560 goes off, Jana. So let's let's pull it, because I 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:58.439 win every pole that's put out on this podcast anyway, 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:08.160 because you're listeners prefail me on whether a wife should 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:10.920 moan her husband because he sets his alarm at five 0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:13.359 thirty in the morning to get up and work and 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:15.560 go into the office and get stuff done. But when 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.199 he doesn't leave the room at five thirty, do you 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.440 think that is a thing that he should be moaned 0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:21.800 out for? 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:23.520 Are you done? 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:24.320 Yeah? I think so. 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:26.360 Okay, this isn't my turner. 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:29.160 And I'm not sure how you defend yourself here, but. 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:35.199 Going my defense is I understand why you have to 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:39.320 get up early. My beef with it is it goes off, 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:42.600 so you set it for five thirty, it's the five 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:44.480 forty five, it's the six. 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:45.560 But it doesn't keep it going. 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:48.359 Yeh does That's not true? 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.920 Okay, on the rare occasion that it does, that's frustrating. 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:54.560 But the number one frustration with it is you try 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:57.399 to come over and cuddle with me, and like, I 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.160 don't want to be cuddled at five thirty in the morning. 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:00.600 I want to be left. I want I want to 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:03.080 be still be sleeping because I know it's seven, like 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:05.600 it's go time, and it's like, I don't want to 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:08.240 be touched five thirty in the morning. I don't want 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:10.479 to be up, so please don't wake me up. And 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:12.720 I'm already up because your alarm woke me up, and 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:14.679 so now I'd like to try to fall back asleep. 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:17.080 But the problem is I can't fall back asleep when 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:17.440 I'm up. 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:19.879 And my affection doesn't know what time it is. 0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:21.320 Okay, well, my affection does. 0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.640 It wants to be affectioned. It wants to be affected. 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:25.399 Your affection doesn't know what time it is. 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:29.439 It doesn't have a clock. Just not real love. 0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:30.680 That you want to cuddle with me, but I really 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:32.240 don't want to cuddle it five thirty in the morning. 0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:35.080 Okay, let's be honest. The five thirty more than cuddor 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:35.680 was a one off? 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.000 I think, yeah, because I shut it down. 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:40.439 I think it was a one off. So it's not 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:42.679 a habit that I formed every morning. 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:45.960 I just I My thing is I don't. I have 0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:47.800 a hard time. I have a hard time sleeping because 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:49.639 you snore, and I have a hard time falling back asleep. 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:51.359 So when I'm woken up during the middle of the 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:53.719 night because you snore, then I'm woken up again with 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:56.119 your early alarm, So it becomes challenging. And then my 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:58.920