Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 1: We hope you all had an amazing Christmas. This is
Speaker 1: being recorded before Christmas. We were in Los Angeles, but
Speaker 1: we thought it would be fun to do a little
Speaker 1: fun Q and A session And uh yeah, it's always
Speaker 1: nice to It's good.
Speaker 2: Because you can't look disappointed at your Christmas presents.
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know me, I don't care about
Speaker 1: It's the little things. For me, it's the most meaningful things.
Speaker 1: But anyways, I love being able to to do some
Speaker 1: Q and A.
Speaker 3: I think it's fun.
Speaker 1: I think it's though I believe it's hard for you
Speaker 1: at times because you're more private.
Speaker 2: I actually I actually prefer them. See the ones that
Speaker 2: can work on your screen. Just file them at me,
Speaker 2: because you know what I like. I love the really
Speaker 2: interests of people because I feel like I can call
Speaker 2: them out.
Speaker 3: What do you think is intrusive?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Which? Which questions do you find intrusive?
Speaker 2: Good questions? Hannah fired a couple of intrusive ones at me.
Speaker 2: What you think are intrusive?
Speaker 4: Here's one. I wonder if you think that this is intrusive?
Speaker 4: Is Alan a Lions fan?
Speaker 2: Yet that's not intrusive. Come on, Hannah, go hardcore me
Speaker 2: with one?
Speaker 3: Of course he is dah, I feel send to my stomach.
Speaker 5: Guys, these I I kind of was hoping more from
Speaker 5: some fans, but somebody asked his Mike ever watched Roman?
Speaker 2: Honestly, what is it with people? Of course? What does
Speaker 2: Mike ever watched Roman? Why would someone ask that? Well?
Speaker 1: Has he?
Speaker 2: No? Not really?
Speaker 1: Ever, what if we get into like a tight spot
Speaker 1: where we need help when he's older and the we
Speaker 1: don't have the kids that weekend? It's like, hey, do
Speaker 1: you mind just taking Romanto?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, it's a boundary. It doesn't get cross.
Speaker 2: Not that I don't like Michael, don't trust them, but
Speaker 2: just know it's just weird. Next question, Hannah, come on, help.
Speaker 2: Maybe we have even more interested one.
Speaker 5: How do you stop obsessing over an ex and their
Speaker 5: new partner?
Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot of context to that question,
Speaker 1: because I think it's I think the context comes with
Speaker 1: how the relationship ended.
Speaker 3: So if that person cheated.
Speaker 1: On you and you then see them with someone else,
Speaker 1: you're obsessing about them being with someone else because they
Speaker 1: hurt you, because you think that you know they're getting
Speaker 1: the better version.
Speaker 3: Or whatever.
Speaker 1: I also think maybe if that person, you know, they
Speaker 1: really they like that person more obviously, and another person
Speaker 1: broke up with them, and then to see them, you know,
Speaker 1: be this other to be happy with someone else. I
Speaker 1: think it's it's hard because that was your relationship. But
Speaker 1: I think to not spiral, you have to realize that,
Speaker 1: you know, you're obviously your relationships over with and whatever
Speaker 1: that relationship was wasn't wasn't it? So you're wasting your
Speaker 1: time on something that that person doesn't think about you.
Speaker 1: So why are you wasting your energy on someone that
Speaker 1: doesn't really care about you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I understand that. I just have never been a
Speaker 2: person that if I'm not with someone, I don't really
Speaker 2: care who they was. Yeah, it makes no difference to
Speaker 2: me whatsoever.
Speaker 1: The only piece that I can relate to a little
Speaker 1: bit is I felt like post divorce. I think it
Speaker 1: wasn't even like obsession of like who he would be with,
Speaker 1: but it was more like does does do they get
Speaker 1: the better version? Do they get the healthy version? Do
Speaker 1: they get the one that the one that I was
Speaker 1: promised and deserved?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I can see that piece of it.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say like I'm I was ever obsessed with it,
Speaker 1: but like it was more like a hurt and like
Speaker 1: a sadness, like oh that girl gets to get the
Speaker 1: better version, but it's just a different version.
Speaker 3: It's a myth.
Speaker 4: Erica wants to know does Alan have any single brothers?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: I did have a brother who's single at the moment. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've only got one brother and he is he's single. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We love Uncle Simon. Uncle Simon is a lot of
Speaker 1: fun and every time I ever post him, people are
Speaker 1: always like, ooh, hook me up with Alan's hot brother.
Speaker 3: Yeah he's listen. I'll just say this.
Speaker 1: If you can't understand Alan, you will never be able
Speaker 1: to understand Simon. He is you. Simon and your dad
Speaker 1: have the thickest accents ever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's glass. He speaks glass regent slang. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: he's lovable and he's a good looking guy.
Speaker 1: So can you give me a glass region slang talk
Speaker 1: right now?
Speaker 2: I'm not really a glass I'm not really a slang
Speaker 2: glass region, never have been.
Speaker 1: They gave me something your dad would say, I could
Speaker 1: say it like quite fast, something that my dad.
Speaker 2: Would say, what either or not for?
Speaker 1: I think we got that one.
Speaker 2: That kind of springs to mind when it comes to
Speaker 2: my dad all that second.
Speaker 1: That's actually kind of sad.
Speaker 4: Tear.
Speaker 2: Oh, not in a bad way, No, I know. Do
Speaker 2: you know what he's like? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, very loving.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I have a single brother who's a good
Speaker 2: looking guy, very lovable.
Speaker 1: He's a good looking dude. It's a very good looking family.
Speaker 1: Your dad is a handsome man. Yes, your dad is
Speaker 1: very handsome. Your mom is beautiful, Like, you have a
Speaker 1: beautiful family. My mom had a crush on your dad
Speaker 1: at the wedding, and I'm like, Mom, she was like,
Speaker 1: his eyes are dream talking about Alan's dad. I was like,
Speaker 1: I know, Mom, he's very handsome. She's like no, but
Speaker 1: like I just I almost can't even look away. It's
Speaker 1: just such a dream. And I was like, mom, you're.
Speaker 3: Mary, you know. I was like, and he's married.
Speaker 1: But she's like, oh, oh I know. But oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: now I see where Alan gets it from. It was
Speaker 1: like it was quite funny.
Speaker 3: I was like, is there a love afair happening at
Speaker 3: our wedding?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: Never, Alan, What are your favorite songs of Jana's?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Hannah, Baby, there's a easy shoeing that you should.
Speaker 2: Get the one that really like. I don't know if
Speaker 2: it's out yet. I don't want to see it in
Speaker 2: case it's not out.
Speaker 1: Which one was? Oh? The one with Jesse? Then I
Speaker 1: do with Jesse hopefully?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I like that one. It's catchy. I think that
Speaker 2: will do well.
Speaker 3: Not the wedding song? Aren't you next?
Speaker 2: Oh listen, I'm not finished. I just wanted to clarify
Speaker 2: if that one was thought yet.
Speaker 1: We haven't even recorded yet. I need to Hey girl, Jesse,
Speaker 1: we're still doing it. What's going on?
Speaker 2: But obviously obviously the one that she wrote for the wedding.
Speaker 2: It still makes me cry when I listen to it. Really, yeah,
Speaker 2: absolutely every time I listened to its sweet thanks beautiful?
Speaker 4: Do you and Alan go to therapy together?
Speaker 2: Who asks that? Who wants to know that? What type? Torry?
Speaker 2: I can't see that because they might be a nice person.
Speaker 1: Do you have to remember the origin of the show.
Speaker 1: So this show, well, it started just me or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then Mike came on and then it became like
Speaker 1: a train wreck show of people just like listening to
Speaker 1: the train wreck. And now I think people are still.
Speaker 2: Hanging out funny ones like do you fart in front
Speaker 2: of Alan? Well, do you do you take a poop
Speaker 2: in front of Alan? Well, I like, do you go
Speaker 2: to therapy together? Just lowering the tone of the whole evening.
Speaker 3: Should we answer the therapy one?
Speaker 2: We have done? What we have done a couple of times.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we actually had a great therapy session a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago.
Speaker 2: I thought, And your therapist loves me.
Speaker 1: My therapist loves Alan. It's almost annoying where I'm like
Speaker 1: Amy my side and.
Speaker 3: She was just like he's a good guy. Channel she's fair.
Speaker 1: But but you know, I think we have done and
Speaker 1: I think therapy is something that is a good tool
Speaker 1: for couples. And I'm not saying it's, you know, like
Speaker 1: you have to go. Obviously some people don't believe in
Speaker 1: going to therapy, but I think if you run into
Speaker 1: an issue, I think and if you continue to run
Speaker 1: into a certain thing, then it's I think it's a
Speaker 1: healthy way to talk when you can't talk it out together.
Speaker 1: And it's not saying we can't talk out our problems,
Speaker 1: because we can and we have, but sometimes it's nice
Speaker 1: to be able to have and it's and it's our
Speaker 1: therapist that we kind of do like a join one
Speaker 1: where it's you know, my therapist and his therapists. You know,
Speaker 1: we all kind of and I think it's more of
Speaker 1: a just I love it because it's all just like
Speaker 1: healthy communication and.
Speaker 2: It's never it's never a confrontation.
Speaker 1: I think it's it's understanding each other because we both
Speaker 1: have a lot of trauma on our past. And I
Speaker 1: think it's putting when two people have a trauma traumatic
Speaker 1: pass and you put it all in the pile together.
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's it's helpful for him to hear
Speaker 1: me speak about how certain things affect me that he
Speaker 1: would not even think would affect me. And it's helpful
Speaker 1: for him to hear my therapists just describe and help
Speaker 1: me guy walk through it, and he has more understanding
Speaker 1: of where I come from in certain areas and how
Speaker 1: I communicate in certain ways, and he can have more
Speaker 1: empathy with hearing me and my therapist talk about it,
Speaker 1: right or No?
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, And I think it I think the stigma
Speaker 2: of therapy is that we have issues is Yeah, I
Speaker 2: think that's gone there. I think it's I think it's
Speaker 2: actually a strong point or a strong part of a
Speaker 2: relationship where you can actually go and have a couple's therapy.
Speaker 2: If it's not reactive or okay, we need to check in.
Speaker 2: We need to as an issue, who's come up and yeah,
Speaker 2: it's probably best that we we get somebody else's insight
Speaker 2: on it, a different voice in the room, so to speak.
Speaker 2: So it's always been it's always been positive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we're holding to other's hands and wiping
Speaker 1: each other's tears and more like, I truly believe our
Speaker 1: therapy is when we have had it, which is like
Speaker 1: what two times it's been to have the other person
Speaker 1: understand the other person and where they come from, and
Speaker 1: for me to be more empathetic in certain areas, for
Speaker 1: you to be more empathetic in certain areas, and for
Speaker 1: it just to be more like, oh okay, and sometimes
Speaker 1: having someone else help to describe that is easier than
Speaker 1: just your wife being like, this is what I went
Speaker 1: through and this is why it's hard, you know, So
Speaker 1: I did. Have you ever heard in front of me?
Speaker 2: No, yes, you have, when Babe, I go to at
Speaker 2: least going to the pantry when you're in a lounge,
Speaker 2: it's quite loud. I've never deliberately farted in front of you.
Speaker 2: Maybe in my sleep. I fought, yeah, because.
Speaker 1: Naturally you go in the other room. But unfortunately usually
Speaker 1: it's allowed one when you go in the other room.
Speaker 2: So therefore I had never foughted in front of you
Speaker 2: because that's another room.
Speaker 3: True.
Speaker 1: I told you, though, you can let it flow if
Speaker 1: you want, like we've were married.
Speaker 2: I see, I don't agree with that. I don't ever
Speaker 2: want to get to a point where you'll just far
Speaker 2: and in front of me.
Speaker 3: Well, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I like your little but I don't want to heat
Speaker 2: it fat.
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh I haven't. I wouldn't like I want to
Speaker 1: keep it yeah, like it's and I haven't. But I'm
Speaker 1: fine if you want to.
Speaker 2: If you fart in front of me and it smelt,
Speaker 2: I would be haunted by that.
Speaker 4: Do you part from your husband an?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Okay, because I mean I haven't either, but like
Speaker 3: some people are.
Speaker 2: If you should that. She's not going to say that's
Speaker 2: based on what I've just said. Let's get Hannah's husband
Speaker 2: on here, not.
Speaker 4: Tell you that. I get way too embarrassed about that.
Speaker 2: I think it's yeah, not like I've done it once
Speaker 2: in a different room loudly and you laughed.
Speaker 1: I did. I think it's funny. Yeah, but I do
Speaker 1: agree with you. I think it'd be rude if you
Speaker 1: did it all the time.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think it just he's a little ref of disrespect.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's disrespect. I think it's just like laziness.
Speaker 1: Not laziness. I think it's like you lose the passion.
Speaker 2: Yes, maybe, like.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to like have sex with you right
Speaker 1: after you've started, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Like, Janna, do you like Mike's new girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I haven't met her yet, I have said him, sorry,
Speaker 1: I haven't met her yet, but he had asked if
Speaker 1: I wanted to meet her, and I think before she
Speaker 1: meets the kids. I think I would like to meet
Speaker 1: her because I know how serious he is about this
Speaker 1: relationship so and not because again we need to like
Speaker 1: bread each other's hair or something. I just, you know,
Speaker 1: as the mom, I like to know who my child's
Speaker 1: hanging around. And I respectfully did the same thing. I
Speaker 1: asked her if he wanted to meet you before you
Speaker 1: met the kids, which you guys ended up hanging out
Speaker 1: afterwards because your travel and stuff. But yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I look forward to the day that I do.
Speaker 5: You kind of touched on this one earlier, but someone asked,
Speaker 5: what made you decide to have Alan on as a
Speaker 5: host after Mike.
Speaker 4: I feel like you said never again.
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 2: To be feel as a couple of things, jo said, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you've been angry. This is why I didn't want to
Speaker 2: do this again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I never want to show up podcasting,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to have the energy of like
Speaker 1: being annoyed at the person. Or I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't like how that feels.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a couple of things. We have to navigate
Speaker 2: that a little.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's like it's hard.
Speaker 2: We have annoyed me, and I'm like, I have to podcast, Joanna.
Speaker 2: Now I'm angry when I'm podcasting. How can I focus
Speaker 2: when I'm angry at you?
Speaker 1: It's hard sometimes, not like it's not hard with like us,
Speaker 1: but it's hard, like I But I love it because
Speaker 1: this is this is what I think. I'm going to
Speaker 1: clarify that last statement I said I would never most
Speaker 1: likely have a podcast again with someone that I was
Speaker 1: in a relationship with. But I'm not doing it the
Speaker 1: same way that I did with the MIC because we're
Speaker 1: not hashing out really private things like yes, we've.
Speaker 3: Just talked about that.
Speaker 1: We go to therapy and you know, certain things like that,
Speaker 1: but we're not hashing out anything that is.
Speaker 2: A negative part of the relationship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and even so we don't but we don't even
Speaker 1: have that piece, you know. And but so I like,
Speaker 1: we wouldn't even have to do that, but I don't.
Speaker 1: There's a level of yeah, respect that there's it's just
Speaker 1: different in this relationship. And so that's where I felt
Speaker 1: like it would. Now it's sometimes I think we need
Speaker 1: to up the antie so we can get a little
Speaker 1: more listens because it's we're too happy confrontational. People like
Speaker 1: conflict and that's what it's like.
Speaker 3: But I don't.
Speaker 1: Up a notch your bloodless levels blunt this? Yeah, is
Speaker 1: there anything to be blunt?
Speaker 2: I want to hand to pick out a really awful
Speaker 2: one so I can get annoyed at someone.
Speaker 5: People were nice to you during this Q and I
Speaker 5: they aren't always, but this one was a nice one.
Speaker 4: What is one thing you guys can't agree on it?
Speaker 4: And how do you navigate it?
Speaker 2: Okay, I've got one. I've got one. So I got
Speaker 2: up earlier than Jana every morning. Well we mention this
Speaker 2: or that.
Speaker 4: Oh you mentioned everyone try.
Speaker 2: Get up earlier. I normally get up some things. It
Speaker 2: will be five thirty, sometimes it will be six. But
Speaker 2: like everyone in life, when you set your alarm for
Speaker 2: five thirty, you sometimes don't feel a getting up when
Speaker 2: it goes off. So Jana gets annoyed because and I
Speaker 2: don't agree with this one bit. One bit, she gets
Speaker 2: annoyed because the alarm goes off, and listen. I've got
Speaker 2: the quietest, most peaceful alarm you'll ever here because I
Speaker 2: know a noiser so gradually wakes me up. It's like
Speaker 2: music to my ears. But when I don't get up
Speaker 2: and the alarm is rough, she goes into bad mood.
Speaker 2: He's like, well, you sit your alarm and walk us
Speaker 2: up at five thirty and then you don't get up.
Speaker 2: I'm letting what sometimes I don't feel like getting up
Speaker 2: my alarm and then.
Speaker 1: Don't set your alarm at an ungodly hour.
Speaker 2: It's not an ungodly nour five thirty. You've got to
Speaker 2: realize that when I get up at five thirty, it's
Speaker 2: eleven thirty.
Speaker 1: In the UK, right, But I identify as.
Speaker 2: That I need to deal with before the meatball and
Speaker 2: the rest of them get up. So it gives me.
Speaker 2: It gives me a ninety minute window of getting stuff
Speaker 2: done in the office. And I understand that morning, I
Speaker 2: just don't feel like getting up exactly when my alarm
Speaker 2: goes off, Jana. So let's let's pull it, because I
Speaker 2: win every pole that's put out on this podcast anyway,
Speaker 2: because you're listeners prefail me on whether a wife should
Speaker 2: moan her husband because he sets his alarm at five
Speaker 2: thirty in the morning to get up and work and
Speaker 2: go into the office and get stuff done. But when
Speaker 2: he doesn't leave the room at five thirty, do you
Speaker 2: think that is a thing that he should be moaned
Speaker 2: out for?
Speaker 1: Are you done?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so.
Speaker 3: Okay, this isn't my turner.
Speaker 2: And I'm not sure how you defend yourself here, but.
Speaker 1: Going my defense is I understand why you have to
Speaker 1: get up early. My beef with it is it goes off,
Speaker 1: so you set it for five thirty, it's the five
Speaker 1: forty five, it's the six.
Speaker 2: But it doesn't keep it going.
Speaker 3: Yeh does That's not true?
Speaker 1: Okay, on the rare occasion that it does, that's frustrating.
Speaker 1: But the number one frustration with it is you try
Speaker 1: to come over and cuddle with me, and like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be cuddled at five thirty in the morning.
Speaker 1: I want to be left. I want I want to
Speaker 1: be still be sleeping because I know it's seven, like
Speaker 1: it's go time, and it's like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be touched five thirty in the morning. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be up, so please don't wake me up. And
Speaker 1: I'm already up because your alarm woke me up, and
Speaker 1: so now I'd like to try to fall back asleep.
Speaker 1: But the problem is I can't fall back asleep when
Speaker 1: I'm up.
Speaker 2: And my affection doesn't know what time it is.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, my affection does.
Speaker 2: It wants to be affectioned. It wants to be affected.
Speaker 3: Your affection doesn't know what time it is.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have a clock. Just not real love.
Speaker 1: That you want to cuddle with me, but I really
Speaker 1: don't want to cuddle it five thirty in the morning.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's be honest. The five thirty more than cuddor
Speaker 2: was a one off?
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, because I shut it down.
Speaker 2: I think it was a one off. So it's not
Speaker 2: a habit that I formed every morning.
Speaker 1: I just I My thing is I don't. I have
Speaker 1: a hard time. I have a hard time sleeping because
Speaker 1: you snore, and I have a hard time falling back asleep.
Speaker 1: So when I'm woken up during the middle of the
Speaker 1: night because you snore, then I'm woken up again with
Speaker 1: your early alarm, So it becomes challenging. And then my
Speaker 1: ring tells me I'm sleeping when I'm not actually sleeping.
Speaker 2: It's not my fault. I can't get back to sleep,
Speaker 2: I can't get up late just because you can't get
Speaker 2: back to sleep.
Speaker 1: But you know what a deal breaker is in our
Speaker 1: relationship is that we don't allow separate rooms. So we
Speaker 1: have to just both deal with it.
Speaker 2: I got up at five thirty in the morning. It's
Speaker 2: dark right now, so I trip over the million tissues
Speaker 2: out side of your bed.
Speaker 3: What we're talking about.
Speaker 2: The trail of tissues that comes from your bed all
Speaker 2: the way around to the bottom of the bed, and
Speaker 2: I trip on the dog's toys and wake you up.
Speaker 1: I don't think Leo has a toy anyway.
Speaker 2: Anyway, When I don't go and when I don't get up,
Speaker 2: when my alarm goes off at a noiser, and I
Speaker 2: don't think you should have will be annoyed about that.
Speaker 2: Let's let's let's flip the situation. If I'm lazy, right, No,
Speaker 2: I'm lazy and I'm getting up at eight o'clock and
Speaker 2: the kids have been up for forty five minutes and Roman,
Speaker 2: you've fed Roman, and I'm just lying there in my
Speaker 2: bed like a slob.
Speaker 1: Again. I need to keeping the noise there again, I
Speaker 1: I I hear you. I understand, and I just don't
Speaker 1: want to cuddle, that's all. And if you're gonna get up,
Speaker 1: get up. I just is this snooze button?
Speaker 2: Is it?
Speaker 1: But bugs me?
Speaker 3: That's all.
Speaker 2: It's not even a snooze button. I just switch off
Speaker 2: and then I wake up gradually. Anyway, it's a disagreement,
Speaker 2: and one that it should never be a disagreement.
Speaker 3: Get up whenever you want. I love you.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you think for the New Year? Should
Speaker 1: we do a juicy one?
Speaker 2: They can ask me whatever they want.
Speaker 1: So the next time we do a poll or we
Speaker 1: need some real juicy questions. So we'll do questions Q
Speaker 1: and A again with some juicy tidbits coming soon in
Speaker 1: the new year. We love you guys, Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2: Be respectful,