WEBVTT - Park It 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:05.360 Ka boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:08.560 a week was enough, I think again. He's the last 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:12.280 remnants of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:15.360 He treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:19.439 the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:23.200 of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:27.960 Hour with Ben Maller starts right now, just a day 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:33.159 at the park. Well come in the beginning of another 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:38.040 edition of The Fifth Hour with I Ben Mallard. Because 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:41.080 four hours a night are not enough, We do this 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:46.520 eight days a week from the special Mallard podcast Studio 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:50.559 Deep in the north Woods. And this, of course they 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:55.040 spin off of the Overnight Show five nights a week. 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:57.920 But this is only available in the podcast format. You 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:00.800 found it. We thank you, Tell a friend, Tell a friend, 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:07.119 and download. Continue to support the podcast The Fifth Hour, 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:10.960 which is much different than the radio show. And let's 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.680 just not and let's just not all that much different 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:19.959 than the radio show. So this Saturday podcast a solo show, 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:25.320 a solo show. Uh, we will not be sullied by 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:27.880 anyone West of the four or five or anyone else 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:31.520 for that matter. It is only I you're stuck with me, 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:36.080 Big Ben for this hour now before we get into it, 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:39.440 and I give you the rundown of what's on the 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:45.040 menu here at Benny's Pistro. Don't forget cameo dot com. 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:47.319 I just had a conversation this week with a buddy 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:49.520 of mine used to work with who does TV and 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:52.639 we're talking about cameo dot com and they were buying 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:56.240 some cameos for random people to goof on them. And uh, 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:57.920 and I'm open. I'm open to that if you if 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:00.720 you wanna buy a cameo and have me goof on someone, 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.680 We've we've had that already happened with one of our 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:05.360 friends in Australia. UM, and you can join the fun 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:08.120 on that. It's cameo dot com. Search my name out now. 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:11.080 I would recommend if you do buy a cameo to 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:13.560 do it on their website because if you do on 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:17.360 your phone, they end up taking, you know, taking a 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:20.160 bunch off the top. But anyway, coming up on this hour, 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:27.560 the fifth hour, we will have among other things, glass Man, Ravine, 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:35.960 return bother some Benny and time permitting, we will get scientifical. 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:38.760 We'll get scientifical. So those are the things that in 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:42.880 my head that we will we will brighten up your 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:47.200 day with unless we don't. But we begin with the 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:49.720 glass Man. I've been told by more than one member 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:54.400 of the Malam militia that the Saturday podcast, as we 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:57.880 chew over the events of the weekend, is really about 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:01.600 the life of Mallard. Okay, that's what it's about, and 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:05.680 that's what that's that interesting. It's really not. But I'm 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:09.480 able to tell stories here that I don't tell on 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:12.280 the overnight show for whatever reason, because of time restraints 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:14.639 or just the way the show is set up. So 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:19.480 the life of Mallard the glass Man. Last weekend, likely 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:23.880 while you were listening to the podcast, I spent much 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:28.240 of my time doing for me physical labor. Now keep 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:30.680 in mind that you might have a job where you 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:34.160 you actually use your body. I pretty much use my mouth. 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:38.480 That's it. I'm a big mouth and I talk a lot. 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:43.080 That's my gig. So physical labor is not something that 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:47.839 I take part in. Last weekend, though, I was slaving 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:52.440 away on my hands and knees and my exaggerating, and 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:57.880 I was outside the great outdoors outside the new Mallard mansion, 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:05.040 still in renovation and mission broken glass. I was the 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:10.400 glass man as I sifted through all of the rubbish, 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:14.600 all of the wreckage from a mass renovation which is 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:18.400 still not even done. But I had the shop back 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:25.960 out and was methodically searching through dirt, plants, you name it, 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:30.960 the driveway, the whole thing, trying to track down broken glass. 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:36.880 What a pain in the dairy air The tookis the 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:40.920 but donka don't care you want to call it my goodness. Now, 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:44.039 the contractors who have done a pretty good job with 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:48.080 everything they've done on the house. One area, if I'm 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:49.880 in a nip pick, we can agree on that they've 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:54.080 screwed up is the cleaning up after yourself part of 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:57.640 the equation, and that is something that has not been 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:03.000 followed the thoughtically. And so I was the one methodically 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:08.000 searching for the broken glass, as we said, and cleaning 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:11.320 up the mess. They had a couple of windows they 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:13.440 decided they needed to get rid of, and they just 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:18.640 tossed them down and they broke and shattered into a 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:24.279 gazillion pieces, as glass is known to do. As glass 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:26.200 is not due No, I am. I'm happy to report 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:34.440 that after several hours of going over everything like a 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.719 bat out of hell. I was able to scoop up 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:44.440 approximately using Mallard math, nine percent of the broken glass. 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:48.320 Tell me, you're not impressed. You're not impressed, all right, 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:52.400 but I did it. So I'm glassman Mallard, you can 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.400 call me that. And I still have some more work 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:57.320 to do because the back of a house I have 0:05:57.400 --> 0:05:59.920 not even touched that. I was just embarrassed because the 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:03.159 front of the house where random people can go by 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.880 and say, Wow, what kind of disheveled pig lives in 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:11.920 that house? So we felt some shame out of vanity 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:15.120 and we went and I went and picked up the glass. 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:17.520 That was a solo act, by the way, so one 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:22.320 man band. That was not a collaborative effort. It was not. Now. 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:24.000 Part of that is because I was the only one 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:27.080 there at the time doing it. But there you go, 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:32.280 all right. Now, As for the Ravine return, turning the 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:37.320 page on the Ravine return, it was quite the night. 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:45.000 Back on Wednesday, I made my triumphant return the Dodger Stadium, 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:50.400 a place I pretty much grew up at. And when 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:52.800 I say I grew up there, I'm talking about in 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:56.120 the radio business. I cut my teeth spending many nights 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.919 in the press box at Dodger Stadium an old, long 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:02.800 lost friend. I had not been to a game at 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:07.800 Dodger Stadium since twenty nineteen. The Dodgers were playing the 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:14.040 Washington Nationals that natitude and got smacked around as Joe 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:17.000 Kelly and others took a ride on the vomit comment 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:20.160 in that game. But it's been almost two full years 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:22.920 and I did attend. If you listen to the radio show, 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.600 you know I waxed poetic a few nights ago about 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:28.920 the National League Wild Card game with the Cardinals. Now 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:32.640 I understand as I am talking to you right now, 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:36.360 the Dodgers and Giants have already started the Divisional series. 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:40.920 It is underway. However, when this podcast was recorded live 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:46.160 on tape, it was before game one of the NLDS. 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.000 And I like saying live on tape because I used 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:50.960 to work with this guy that gave me terrible real 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:55.360 estate advice on the weekends, and he would fly off 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:59.120 the handle when I'd say live on tape, and he 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:01.880 would say, well, you you can't have both. You can 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:04.800 be on tape or you can be live, but you 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:08.200 can't be live on tape because the moment it's on tape. 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:11.600 It's no longer live, and I pointed out, well, yeah, 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:14.640 but recorded live on tape. There's no edits in this. 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:22.480 It's just one man barking into a microphone for as 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:24.920 long as that person can bark into a microphone and 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.800 then shutting up randomly. But with that being said, I 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:31.520 will tell a story that I have not told before 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:35.360 and hopefully will not get me in too much trouble 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:42.160 on this podcast. So this is a global exclusive, a 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:47.080 global exclude that sounds really impressive on the Ravine return. 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:54.760 So I came close to being banished from Dodger Stadium, 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:59.760 not allowed in to attend the game against St. Louis 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.760 earlier this week. So let me let me paint the 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:06.480 picture and tell you what I was going through. And 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:10.120 it happened earlier in the day that the game started. 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:13.880 The Dodger Cardinal game started at five o'clock and I 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:18.640 got there at approximately one th That's a that's a 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:21.320 lot of time to kill before the game. Now, the 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:22.960 reason I got there, there were a couple of reasons 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:27.200 I got there that early. H parking it was a 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:31.680 big thing. The earlier you get there, the better the parking. Also, 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:34.760 the earlier you get there. The less traffic and living 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:37.640 in Los Angeles, the l A area here, the traffic 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:41.800 is a freaking nightmare. And so anything I can do 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:45.760 lack of sleep for less traffic, I will make that 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.800 change seven days a week and twice on Sunday. So 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.680 I got there early, and as is the protocol, you 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:56.040 get there, you park your car, you go and you 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:59.240 have to go to this media will call to pick 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:02.280 up your your past. So I got to the will 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.559 call and usually you got to pull out your driver's 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.360 license and you hand your driver's license over they make 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:11.960 sure you're legit. But this was different. I got to 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:15.600 the Dodger stating will call and they they asked for 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:19.480 my vaccination card. Now keep in mind, if you've listened 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:23.720 to the show, you know that I am vaccinated, but 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:28.960 I don't carry the vaccination card around me, around with me. 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:33.079 I don't, uh. And I actually find it offensive when 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:37.240 people will show me your vaccination papers. Uh. It is annoying. 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:41.520 It is an inconvenience, and it's just wrong. It just 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:44.400 feels wrong. Am I Am I crazy to say that? 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.960 It just feels wrong that anyway, and even I'm vaccinated, 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:51.880 I think it's ridiculous. Anyway. So the person that was 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:56.720 at the will call booth would not allow me to 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:00.439 enter the ballpark. We're not hand over the card vential 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:06.040 until I showed proof of the vaccination. Oh. The problem 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:08.319 was I didn't have the vaccine card. I don't care 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:10.280 it with me. And you said, well, what about a 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.000 photo like I couldn't find it. I know it was 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:15.800 on my phone somewhere, but I wasn't expecting this, and 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.000 I I had no idea where it was. So I 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:22.040 called my wife and and she keeps track of that stuff. 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:26.600 She's the one that recommended strongly wink wink, not not 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:29.840 that I get vaccinated, and so that and some other factors. 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:34.440 I did it. And so I had the vaccine head 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.400 the vaccine, and but I called my I called my 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.719 wife and I said, hey, I need some help, ring ring, 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:44.959 no answer. I called her again, ring ring, no answer, 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:50.920 called her again, ring, ring, no answer. And this goes 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:56.440 on for about fifteen minutes. And I'm not exagger so 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.760 I'm I'm like a dufus out here. I feel like 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:04.760 I'm wearing a sandwich board. Kick me as I'm standing outside, 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:10.800 and the the Dodgers employee says, well, you know they're 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:14.520 gonna check with Major League Baseball to see what the 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:18.760 protocol is with Major League Baseball. So now not only 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:21.560 am I I feeling like a donkey, I'm feeling just 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:25.679 ridiculous here, but now this has gone to a higher level. 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.360 Now this is going to corporate, This is going to 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:31.800 the head of Major League Baseball PR. You know, I 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:35.199 should we let this guy in. So they get together, 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.839 they have a meeting, and they compromise and say, well, 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.439 since I didn't show them the vaccine paper even though 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:43.320 I was vaccinated, and I told him, I said, just 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:46.320 go to the the database. You've got that data base, 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:48.440 going there and check and they said, we don't have 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:51.240 access to it. Whatever. So I said, you're allowed in, 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:57.679 but you're only allowed in the press box, and you 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:00.320 can't go near the unwashed players on the feet old 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:04.000 or the interview room. So essentially, as far as media 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.760 is concerned, it was like a form of house arrest. 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:09.360 It's like you can stay at your house, but you 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:15.120 can't go anywhere else. Now, Fortunately, after about about thirty minutes, 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:19.440 I was able to track down finally got ahold of 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:22.320 my wife and she directed me to where I needed 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:26.160 to go. The vaccine card the photo of it, and 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:30.000 so I went back and the Dodgers were kind and 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:36.800 they issued a mia colpa to me and said, Okay, 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:41.440 you are allowed to go where we banned you from. 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:43.760 But what a pain in the behind. And I have 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:46.800 noticed now I've only been going to the game's getting 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:50.400 out of the house here recently, the last couple of weeks, 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:53.120 but I have noticed that a lot of people I 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.560 don't really want to be doing the things that they're 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:58.800 being asked to do. As far as the the busybody 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.800 some woeld say bullshit that they're doing, but they're doing 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:05.560 it because they're told to do it. I've noticed that 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:08.440 attitude from multiple people. I will not name names because 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.079 not here to get anyone in trouble. But it had 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.920 a happy ending. I got into the stadium and the 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:16.800 game itself, well, that's that actually leads us to the 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:24.000 bothersome Benny not one of my official nicknames. That is 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:27.320 not and we might have to add that if senior 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:30.280 fellows of the Mallard Militia. I like that term. That's 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:33.640 the new term that a lot of political shows. It's uh, 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:38.400 you're an expert, you're a fellow or fellow senior Fellow 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.440 of the So and So Institute, but that is not 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.320 an official nickname. It is not. I am known, among 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.920 other things, is the spin Master of misinformation, the bannering Broadcaster. 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:53.600 I've been called the Beethoven of bs, Curmudgeon of commentary, 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:58.320 Chasm of sarcasm, the Czar of Zany, the dark Night 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:01.720 of week night sports radio, the Mogul of mischief, Benny, 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:06.240 the Brazen King of zing, Moneyball Mallard Benny the Popper, 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:12.520 Facetious Fox, Sultan of insulting, the Shaman of schadenfreude, the 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:17.600 jumping Jack of wisecrack, Insight of overnight medicine Man Mallard 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:23.680 Neighbob of negativity, Sage of outrage, Pinnacle of cynical Prince 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:30.880 of preposters, Professor of propaganda, Wizard of wisdom, Hussar of hyperbole, 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:35.640 and the mad Hatter of sports tender. That's actually about 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:39.240 half of my nicknames. But bothersome Benny is not on 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.200 that list. It is not on that list. And while 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:46.040 the Dodger Cardinal Game I almost did not get into 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:49.440 because of the lack of vaccination proof, even though I 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:54.920 did have the vaccine UH, this game was Nippentuck. He was. 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:58.800 It was a barn murder or a ball burner, depending 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.960 how you look at it. So, as I have explained, 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:05.160 as a member of the media, I was in the 0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:09.160 press box. And there is a code of conduct if 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.080 you've ever worked in the media or no people in 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:14.320 the media that work in sports media. There's a code 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:17.840 that goes back many years and people have written books 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.880 about it. No cheering in the press box. And this 0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:25.800 goes back to the theory, the belief that the sports media, 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:30.320 just like the other media as a whole, are unbiased 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:37.360 arbitrators of sport. Now you know, and I know that 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:43.840 that is manure. It's horse manure. When I first started, 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:47.320 I was bright eyed and bushy tail, and I like 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:51.520 to believe that that you were just completely neutral. You 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:55.760 were neutral. But having lived life and seeing the light, 0:16:56.440 --> 0:17:01.000 I've seen a thing or two. Unbiased media does not exist, 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:07.600 whether it's political, sports news, it does not, in fact unbiased. 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:11.000 If if you come across someone that says they're unbissed, 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:13.320 I like to get around on the radio show and say, 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:15.520 you know, I'm Switzerland, this, that and the other thing, 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:21.960 tongue firmly planted in cheek, but in all seriousness, unbiased 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:27.160 does not exist. Anyone that says they're unbiased is fake. 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.720 And that goes all the way from the Supreme Court 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:35.879 justices to the very bottom of the food chain. Whoever 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:37.520 you think that might be at the bottom of the 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:39.919 food chain. You can fill in the blank on that. 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:47.240 But everyone is compromised by their life experience, the things 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:50.000 you do in life, right, family, you grow up in 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:53.800 the religion, whether you have religion or you don't have religion, 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:57.480 your life, all of the things that pop up, the 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:02.280 random events, those of the things that shape you. Right, 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:06.280 life is just a series of decisions that each one 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:10.600 leads to another decision. It's like a game show, and 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:14.320 all of those decisions lead to biases. Anyway, I'm getting 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:17.840 little carried away here, but get to the point, please, 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:21.240 So all of that leading to this during the Dodger 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.639 game against the Cardinals the other night, not obviously the 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:28.719 Dodger Giants game, which was played on Friday. But as 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:30.560 we're doing this, I don't really know who one you 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:34.520 know more than I know, because we're recording this live 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:38.760 on tape again before Dodgers and Giants on a Friday. 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:45.240 So I was sitting with a bunch of hard oh reporters, 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:50.440 the kind of people that take their job very seriously. 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:52.920 And I get it. I take my job seriously. I 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:56.040 try to do a professional job, but I also am 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:59.320 a goofball, okay, and I take liberties. I admit it, 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.960 you know, I take liberties. So I'm sitting there with 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:04.600 these guys, and some of these people are my friends. 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:06.720 Some of these people I've known for many years. Some 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.480 I've never met. There's a lot of new people, the 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.359 new wave that's taken over. So I'm in here and 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:17.040 I'm agonizing because I know that there's a bunch of 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:22.000 trolls that are pigs in slop, just waiting, just waiting 0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:24.600 for the Dodgers to go belly up right from the 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:28.760 bottom of their hearts. They're hoping that. They're hoping the 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:30.840 Dodgers lives and and many of you, and I know 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.119 who you are. I've been doing this a while, all right. 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:37.600 It's not my first circus, and I know there's a 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:40.320 lot of people they don't give a rat's ass about 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:45.879 the Dodgers or the Cardinals, but they just want to 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:49.320 see me in agony. And I get it. The show 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:52.320 is all about busting each other's balls. I'm I'm not 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:55.240 opposed to that. I'd like to to goof on Eddie 0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:57.399 and Coop and Robero, and they all like to goofle 0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:01.560 on me. It's all part of the deal. So here 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:03.720 I am hanging out with all these people and again 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:08.480 I know some of them. Whatever, and I'm just being tortured. 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:12.520 Cardinals scored first. That's a bad mark on the Malley 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:18.160 report card. Uh, and the Dodgers had some opportunities couldn't 0:20:18.160 --> 0:20:21.440 come through. Now, keep in mind, on the outside while 0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:27.200 this is going on, I am mr calm, I'm composed, 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:31.600 I'm unconcerned on the outside. So I'm sitting on my 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:33.879 on my computer. I got the game on, you know, 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:38.119 right in front of me, and I'm getting rather impatient 0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:45.320 and on the inside, mistake after mistake from the Dodgers 0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:48.400 seemed like they were more than they were actually worri mean, 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:50.800 looking back on it, there weren't that many mistakes, but 0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:52.360 in my head, there were a lot. And so I'm 0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:56.600 raging on the inside. So what I did was I 0:20:56.640 --> 0:21:01.159 went down the path of becoming bothersome Benny. And so 0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:03.560 I can't talk to these people about what's going on 0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:07.480 because these people will go bonkers. So what am I 0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:11.640 to do? And so I had an epiphany, and I said, 0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:13.439 you know what I gotta do. I gotta go to 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:16.600 my guy, Roberto. He feels my agony. Roberto is a 0:21:16.640 --> 0:21:19.800 Dodger fan. He's a better fan than me. He's got 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:23.639 a whole closet filled with Dodger paraffin is. So I'm like, 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:25.480 I'm gonna blow off some steam here. I'm gonna start 0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:29.640 texting Roberto because the people I was around who would 0:21:29.680 --> 0:21:33.280 have criticized me if I had pointed out my thoughts 0:21:33.280 --> 0:21:38.280 on the game, You know, I just was sending a 0:21:38.440 --> 0:21:41.240 flurry of text messages. I talked about it a little 0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:44.040 bit on the radio show the other night, if you're listening. 0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:47.639 But I just kept sending these messages to Roberto like 0:21:47.720 --> 0:21:51.760 everything that was happening, and I was like, oh, the's 0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:55.760 share the agony. Unfortunately, and I didn't realize this until 0:21:55.840 --> 0:21:58.959 later on, Roberto pointed it out. Since I was actually 0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:03.960 in the ballpark, I was getting the live unfiltered feed. Well, 0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:06.720 Roberto was not. Roberto was watching the game. There's a 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:08.840 long delay when you watch a game, it goes up 0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:11.080 to the satellite. It comes back down, it goes if 0:22:11.080 --> 0:22:13.880 you have a cable package, it goes to the cable 0:22:14.560 --> 0:22:17.479 and there's a lot of moving parts. It's at least 0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:24.080 of thirty second delay. And here I am spoiling Roberto's 0:22:24.200 --> 0:22:27.920 enjoyment of the Dodger game, and I'm causing him even 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:32.400 more anxiety because I'm telling him bad ship is happening 0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:36.679 before it happens. So then he's watching and he knows 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:40.399 the other shoes about to drop. And so that was 0:22:40.440 --> 0:22:43.560 that was how I spent much of that particular day, 0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:46.600 and Roberto was it was a relative good sport. He 0:22:46.640 --> 0:22:48.920 did ask me to wait a few more seconds before 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:53.160 I sent him text messages when things weren't really bad. 0:22:54.240 --> 0:22:56.880 And so so that's my new thing now. Now when 0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:58.560 I need to vent, I'll just go to Roberto and 0:22:58.600 --> 0:23:00.719 I convent and he convented me, and that we can 0:23:00.760 --> 0:23:03.640 go back and forth. Absolutely again, I want to thank 0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:05.639 the Cardinals, in particular, the Dodgers will not be in 0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:08.520 the series with the Giants if it was not for 0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:15.760 the entire collective St. Louis Cardinal offense to be as 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:21.439 smooth as ex lax. Uh my goodness, saw wing badda 0:23:21.560 --> 0:23:27.080 saw bada. It looks like the media game that I've 0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:29.239 played in a Dodger stadium, where there is swinging at 0:23:29.240 --> 0:23:33.639 pitches here, there, and everywhere, getting bug eyed and tight 0:23:33.800 --> 0:23:36.960 took his syndrome. So much for the Cardinals being the 0:23:37.000 --> 0:23:41.400 sleeping giant that so many of my Midwestern friends were 0:23:41.440 --> 0:23:45.360 telling me seventeen wins in a row, the Dodgers are 0:23:45.359 --> 0:23:49.399 in trouble. Well they weren't not that game. Yeah, well 0:23:49.440 --> 0:23:51.280 they were actually in trouble, but they won the game anyway. 0:23:51.480 --> 0:23:56.520 All right, moving on, let's get scientifical. Let's get side 0:23:57.040 --> 0:24:01.600 and tifficual. So this is a trip you to Penn 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:06.119 and Teller. They had a show called Bullshit, and so 0:24:06.600 --> 0:24:10.440 the way this works, I I love these studies and 0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:13.080 scientifical stories. I don't use a lot of them on 0:24:13.119 --> 0:24:17.040 the radio show. It's a sports talk radio program. Why 0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:19.960 would I use a lot of science on the show. 0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:24.520 There'll be no reason to do that. So I save 0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:26.199 a lot of this stuff for the podcast. I mean, 0:24:26.200 --> 0:24:27.919 I read it anyway. Sometimes I don't bring it up 0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:30.520 on the podcast. But some of these science stories of 0:24:30.560 --> 0:24:35.200 the week, you can soon take a balloon ride into space. 0:24:36.680 --> 0:24:42.280 See that story this week? Yeah, space tourism. It's right 0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:43.520 out of when I was a kid, there was a 0:24:43.560 --> 0:24:46.600 cartoon called the Jetsons, and this is right out of that. 0:24:47.480 --> 0:24:51.720 Space tourism will be offering this business will be offering 0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:57.320 its first commercial flights to the heavens by two. That 0:24:57.400 --> 0:24:59.320 seems like it's a long way away, but it's not 0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:03.359 that long. It's gonna be in a blink of an eye. 0:25:04.240 --> 0:25:06.480 So how much is it gonna cost for a seat 0:25:06.520 --> 0:25:10.720 to go to space? I'm glad you asked. The group 0:25:10.760 --> 0:25:15.600 called Worldview Enterprises will be charging wait for it, wait 0:25:15.640 --> 0:25:22.240 for it, fifty thousand dollars fifty g s to go 0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:25.800 into outer space. That actually doesn't seem that bad. The 0:25:25.880 --> 0:25:30.040 way this works. It's not your traditional rocket ship. It's 0:25:30.080 --> 0:25:36.560 a balloon based system and it's based out of Tucson, Arizona. 0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:41.760 Shout out my old friend Rich Herrera, radio legend in Tucson, Arizona. 0:25:42.160 --> 0:25:46.720 So the according story here, it'll take people up to 0:25:46.760 --> 0:25:51.480