1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 1: All right, guys, it is time now for Today's Strawberry Letter. 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: And if you need advice and relationships, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 6 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: gonna do this one right here, right now, and you 7 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:25,120 Speaker 1: never know, it could be yours. You never know. Buckle 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 1: up and hold on tight. We got it for you. 9 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: Hear it in the straw Every letter and today's Strawberry 10 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: Letter is sponsored by a Journal for Jordan. Steve Yeah, 11 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 1: and A Journal for Jordan. Everybody is a drama director 12 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: by my dog Dezel Washington, and it's starring Michael B. 13 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:46,200 Speaker 1: Jordan young Man. I happen to like a lot. It's 14 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: a Journal for Jordan. Is based on a true story 15 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: or First Sergeant Charles Munroe King, who's played by Michael B. 16 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: It's a soldier deployed to Iraq who begans to keep 17 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: a journal of love and advice for his infant son 18 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: now back at home. Senior New York Times editor Dana Kennedy, 19 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: I think that's the name, who's played by Seante Adams, 20 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: revisits the story of her unlikely, life altering relationship with 21 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: King and his enduring devotion to her and their child. 22 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: So sweeping account of a wance of a lifetime love, 23 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 1: and the film is a powerful reminder of the importance 24 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: of family. All right, that's what's having it? All right? 25 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: Thank you, Steve. A Journal for Jordan opens in theaters 26 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: on Christmas Day. All right, would you say, Steve, I 27 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: was just saying, is I need more? It's like, oh, glad, 28 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: I didn't hear that. Okay, That's why I repeat it 29 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: so you could hear subject. She means the world to me. 30 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,720 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a twenty eight year old single 31 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: man and I'm in love with the most beautiful girl 32 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 1: in the world. I need your advice on how to 33 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: love her properly. My father has not been active in 34 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 1: my life because he's incarcerated. I can't go to my 35 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: mother with the kind of questions I have on how 36 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 1: to be a man and to love a woman. I've 37 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,119 Speaker 1: never seen a positive love relationship, so I don't want 38 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: to mess it up with my girl. When I visited 39 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: my dad at a young age, I knew that I 40 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 1: would never end up in his situation, so I was 41 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: teased a lot for not running with the boys in 42 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: my school. Instead, I joined the debate club and the 43 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: tennis team. Those were two of the most uncool activities 44 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: at the school, but it was great for me because 45 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: that's how I met this girl. She still has her 46 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: parents together in the home and her grandmother lives with them. 47 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 1: It feels good to visit her home and have dinner 48 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: as a family with them. Her father pulled me aside 49 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: one day and offered to get me a sportscoat to 50 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: wear when he noticed mine was too small. I was ashamed, 51 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 1: but grateful that he never mentioned it to his daughter. 52 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: I feel he trusts me with her life, so I 53 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: don't want to mess this up. I look to you 54 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: for guidance, and I need some words from you on 55 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: how to keep my cool. I have a great job 56 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: and my own home that she's helping me decorate. I'm 57 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: appreciative of any advice you and Miss Shirley can offer me. Well. 58 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: I mean, first off, I right here, pay close attention, boy, Yes, 59 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: that's right. First of all, I have to say, this 60 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: is a beautiful, beautiful letter. I love this letter. It 61 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: makes me proud. It feels me with hope because I 62 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: know that there's still a lot of great guys out there, 63 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: and you sound like one of them. We've never had 64 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: a letter like this, so I just appreciate you wanting 65 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: to do the right thing by your girl. And you 66 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: ask how do you love her properly? Well, it sounds 67 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: like you're off to a good start, because first you 68 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: want to do this, this is something you want to do. 69 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: How do you love a woman properly? You protect her, 70 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: You make her feel safe, You make her feel secure, 71 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:19,039 Speaker 1: You treat her well, You take care of her. You 72 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 1: make her happiness a priority. You be a gentleman. You 73 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: treat her like a lady. You stay stay close to 74 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: her dad too, because he seems to really like you, 75 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: and he seems to want you to win. That's important. 76 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: He could be your your father role model. You know 77 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: you're motivated, highly motivated young man. I say, stay motivated, 78 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: don't cheat on her, communicate with her, listen to her, 79 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 1: keep your word, show her you mean what you say. 80 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: I mean, these are just some of the things that 81 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: you can do to love her property properly from a 82 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 1: woman's perspective. And here's Steve, and I know you have 83 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 1: a lot more, Steve Ahead, Well, it's a deal, young man. 84 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: I appreciate the letter. She means the world to me. Well, 85 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: that's something that's not mentioned a lot today. If you 86 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: look at ig and you look at all these stories, 87 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 1: you know you don't very rarely hear men saying that 88 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 1: a woman means the world to her. Not often, especially 89 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: in young people. So it's a great thing that you 90 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: have that aspect going for yourself and that type of 91 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: level of commitment. You're only twenty eight years old, you're single, 92 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: You're in love with the most beautiful girl in the world, 93 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: and to love her properly, it's very simple. The key 94 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: word to loving somebody properly is respect, young man. It 95 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: all starts with respect. One of the best pieces of 96 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,279 Speaker 1: his advice I ever got was do unto others as 97 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: you would have them do unto you. That's so important. 98 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: But can I tell you something, man, that is so 99 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: hard to do as a man. That is so so 100 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: hard to do. Do unto others as you would have 101 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 1: them do unto you. And if you start with respect, 102 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 1: that's going to cover a lot of ground. You know, 103 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: would you want her to be loyal to you, then 104 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: you in turn, have to be loyal to her, and 105 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: we can't continue to use excuse. Well, I'm a man, 106 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: you know, I trip every nine and in, but I 107 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 1: still love my girl. I got all that. But you're 108 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: gonna lose a dog if you do that. So when 109 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 1: I come back, I go a little bit more in 110 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 1: depth with it to help you out. All right, Steve, 111 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: hang on, we'll have part two of your response coming 112 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry 113 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 1: letter subject she means the world to me. We'll get 114 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening, all right, 115 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject 116 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: is she means the world to me? All right, I 117 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 1: got a twenty eight year old young man whose father 118 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: has been incarcerated, not active in his life. He can't 119 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: go to his mother with the kinds of questions that 120 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: he has on how to be a man and love 121 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: a woman. He's never seen a positive relationship and he 122 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: don't want to mess it up with this girl. And 123 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: when he visited his dad at a young age, he 124 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: knew that he would never end up in that situation. 125 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: So he got teased a lot for not running with 126 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: the boys in the school. Instead, he joined the debate 127 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: club and the tennis team, and those are the two 128 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: of the most uncool activities at school. True, But it's okay, though, 129 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 1: because tennis can get you a long way, and so 130 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: will debating skills. And but it was great for you 131 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: because that's how I met this girl, either at the 132 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: tennis school or at the debate club. So jack potty 133 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: worked out for you. And her parents are together at 134 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: home with their grandmother, and it feels good to visit 135 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: at home and have a deal as a family with them. 136 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: Now here's the upside to this, because we were talking 137 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: about how do you love a woman properly? And I 138 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: started at the bottom of the letter by explaining to 139 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: this young man that it all starts with respect. If 140 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 1: you respect a woman, her wishes, respect her needs, You 141 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: respect her thoughts, you respect her feelings, you respect everything 142 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: about her. That's how you keep a woman. We weren't 143 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: even talking about love yet, We're just talking about a 144 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 1: basic thing that everybody has the capability of doing respecting. 145 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: Now the fact that you in love with this girl 146 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: is added because now you have feelings for her, and 147 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: like you said at the top of the letter, she 148 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 1: means the world to me. So now that means you 149 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: in love. So here's an upside to this. After respect, 150 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: when you go by a house you kind of like that. 151 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: You know they have a family and you all had dinner. 152 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: You love that her father pulled you aside one day 153 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,679 Speaker 1: and offered to get me a sport coach where when 154 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: he noticed mine was too small, I was ashamed, but 155 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: grateful that he never mentioned it to his daughter. I 156 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: feel that he trusts me with her life. Okay, now 157 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 1: you're going too far. Now, he don't trust you with 158 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:21,440 Speaker 1: her life yet he don't, but he watching you, and 159 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: he likes some things about you. Because he likes he 160 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: likes some things about you. But and he's willing to 161 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: help you. If the father is willing to help you, 162 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: that means that stee and in you. So he then 163 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: pulled you to the side and got you a sport 164 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: coat to wear when he noticed yours was too small, 165 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: So he liked you. He thinks that's put potential in it, 166 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: and he did it away from his daughter. So you 167 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: don't want to mess this up. So you look to 168 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: me for guidance and some words on how to keep 169 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: my cool. Well, listen to me. Man, you have somebody 170 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: who likes you, that's an older man, and that's her father. 171 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: Now you gotta be careful here because you're gonna come 172 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 1: to him for advice. But the advice you're coming for 173 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: you have to remember that this is his daughter. I've 174 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 1: had this conversation before with young men. It's hard. I 175 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 1: want to do the right thing. I'm trying to do 176 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: this with your daughter. Blah blahlah. Now I want him 177 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: to understand how to be successful. But at the same time, 178 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: I'm team daughter all the time. I'm team Morgan, team Brandy, 179 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: team Carlly, team Lord. So I'm gonna help you, but 180 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: it's gonna be to her advantage, and you just gotta 181 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 1: understand that part of it. Man, He's going to help you, 182 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: but it will be to her advantage and it might 183 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 1: not be a bad thing because you should want it 184 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 1: to be to her advantage, which is the other thing. 185 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 1: So it you're in a good position with the guy. 186 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: Now you don't want to mess this up. Don't stay respectful. 187 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: These are my words of guidance to you. Respect and 188 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: love is the key the whole thing. Now here's what 189 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: you do. Have you say you have a great job, 190 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: you got your own home that she's helping you decorate. 191 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,679 Speaker 1: I'm apprecier of any advice that you and Miss Sherley 192 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: can offer. You got your own home, you twenty eight, 193 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: or you're strong, You've got a good job. You're strong. 194 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: She helping you decorate it because she see herself in 195 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 1: that house. You win it, you winning dog. Stay respectful, 196 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: don't blow it, don't mess this up. To the problem 197 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,200 Speaker 1: with us as men sometimes is once we get things 198 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 1: together and once we start learning a little bit more, 199 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: we have a tendency to want to show people what 200 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: we got and what we know. And that's when you 201 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: want to show it to somebody else so you can 202 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 1: get that same cheering that you got initially from your 203 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 1: girl when she found out you was a homeowner and 204 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: all this here, So now you want to show it off. 205 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: And then that makes you want to invite somebody else 206 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,719 Speaker 1: over so she can see the house. So forth and 207 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,439 Speaker 1: so on. YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA YadA. You gotta be 208 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 1: aware because that's called temptation, and that's coming. Try to 209 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: avoid the temptation. Remember the Lord's prad give us this 210 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 1: day our daily bread and forgive us our temptations. We've 211 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,080 Speaker 1: forgive us our trust pass. We've given those with trust 212 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: pass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but 213 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 1: deliver us from all that is Heah, try, young man, 214 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: that's my daily prayer. I just try, I try. Don't 215 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 1: get right all the time, and neither will you. And 216 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: you're gonna make some mistakes and she's gonna get mad 217 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: at you. I thank you on track. You're gonna be fine. 218 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 1: Just remember respect. Thank you very much, all right, Steve. 219 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 1: Thanks onto today Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook at 220 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 1: Steve harveyfm dot com, and check out the Strawberry Letter 221 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: podcast on demand coming up at forty six minutes after 222 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: the hour. Our girl from the Talk Cheryl Underwood. Right 223 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:16,439 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show