Speaker 1: And money, money, Money. This is like the theme song.
Speaker 1: At least I'm not long ago. I was the holl
Speaker 1: and I'm at I won't take it back because I
Speaker 1: did this ship. I won't take it back. I love
Speaker 1: that song my Money. I won't show money. I want
Speaker 1: my money one of my favorite Larry. She said, Um,
Speaker 1: if I want to funk up a fuck him. But
Speaker 1: if he ain't got a buck, I'm going Ducats facts Marieland.
Speaker 1: It's so funny because watching her, I'm loving hip hop.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, but I actually really do
Speaker 1: like this song and it came out, oh my God,
Speaker 1: maybe like two or three years white. She's as white
Speaker 1: as white gets. She just wears lace fronts and braids,
Speaker 1: and I don't understand it, but I think she would
Speaker 1: be great on this show. So I would love to, like,
Speaker 1: see what you know, Mariah Land. If you listen, go
Speaker 1: here and check us out. A girl how I had us?
Speaker 1: Um Hey, y'all, anyways, guys, welcome to yet another episode
Speaker 1: of Horrible Decisions. Um this year Garral Mandy Be and
Speaker 1: I'm wheezy WTF and I guess um we want to
Speaker 1: start the show off by saying thank you to everybody
Speaker 1: who came to the live show, and we're sorry we
Speaker 1: didn't have an episode for you guys last week, but
Speaker 1: you know, we were just super exhausted, super fucking exhausted.
Speaker 1: It was quite just it was just a lot going
Speaker 1: on with our moms in town. It was our first
Speaker 1: live show, which by the way, sold out twice, and
Speaker 1: we've gotten such great feedback from everybody, and we're only
Speaker 1: going up from here. I can't believe nobody said. It's
Speaker 1: like even when, like I was asking my friends, like,
Speaker 1: please just tell me, tell me what was bad, and
Speaker 1: it was bro like, I mean, verybody sent me a
Speaker 1: text while I was on stage like this is amazing,
Speaker 1: and I was shocked because I just never thought it
Speaker 1: could be that good. I mean, even the reaction that
Speaker 1: people had afterwards, that's when I knew it was good
Speaker 1: because we've been to other podcast live shows and so
Speaker 1: just comparing like that, yeah, no, absolutely not. And it
Speaker 1: was so awesome too. I actually had my coworkers come
Speaker 1: and both of them are virgins. And yes, both of
Speaker 1: my coworkers are virgins, So I'm like, did y'all go
Speaker 1: to the bar. They didn't even drink. They're like super
Speaker 1: safe sweet girl at the bar. That's right. We were
Speaker 1: sponsored by Avian Tequila, so dope shout out. So and
Speaker 1: that's something that we were able to offer the guests
Speaker 1: who came, and they found out the day before or
Speaker 1: the day of. I text everyone was like, if we
Speaker 1: knew that we had, y'all would have know, y'all would
Speaker 1: have paid Moe. But um, we actually shout out to
Speaker 1: Avian Tequila for sponsoring us last minute. We also had
Speaker 1: Ips Popcorn um, and they're like a protein healthy ship.
Speaker 1: I was like, Mall, I got your healthy ship because
Speaker 1: Mall from the Joe Button podcast is actually he's like
Speaker 1: on a health trip. Did you see that him and
Speaker 1: lover Boy knew each other? No? I didn't. Witch of
Speaker 1: course mom knows everyone in the basketball realm. Wait wait wait, okay,
Speaker 1: he's not a basketball player, but he's saying of it.
Speaker 1: But anyways, so um so yeah, So we had Ips
Speaker 1: Popcorn shout out to them. And we also had Va Voom,
Speaker 1: which was actually an orgasm clitterers cream um, and it's
Speaker 1: to help you reach an orgasm during sex. Shout out
Speaker 1: to our sponsors for the show. I also want to
Speaker 1: go ahead and shout out get lashed l a they
Speaker 1: sponsored me with my lashes, and go ahead and check
Speaker 1: the description this bio. They're actually going to give our
Speaker 1: listeners twenty percent off. Um, so we'll go ahead and
Speaker 1: drop the code in there and tag them on our
Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions page. I don't know. It was just really exciting.
Speaker 1: We told some stories that guys we haven't shared with
Speaker 1: you all yet. And mind you, both of our moms
Speaker 1: were just sitting on the side of the stage and
Speaker 1: here goes wheezy. Sorry Mom, Sorry, Mom, Mom, Sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: just sorry. I know why I kept saying that. And
Speaker 1: the strange thing is my like, my mom and I
Speaker 1: are so close, but like saying it in front of
Speaker 1: people then my mother was there made me feel like
Speaker 1: she would be embarrassed. Her friends were there. You saw
Speaker 1: the two old and I was like, holy fuck, it's
Speaker 1: so funny. After they were done, they're like old New
Speaker 1: York City. They're like, I'm like, you know, you did
Speaker 1: a great job, honey. It was hilarious when people were
Speaker 1: really like, it's like a talk show and you guys
Speaker 1: spoke so well. I don't know why some of some
Speaker 1: of my friends acting like if it was because I
Speaker 1: had a blaze around, but I felt less like a
Speaker 1: ratchet hole. Yeah. We we definitely dressed classy. I made
Speaker 1: I made it a point to where dress pants instead
Speaker 1: of a body suit. Dude. One of my friends was
Speaker 1: so funny. She sent me a text after. I was like, girl,
Speaker 1: you just did that show with such class and I'm laughing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we fucking had a banana dick stuck. In contest,
Speaker 1: Mandy did sex positions on stage. I told him story
Speaker 1: about it. I tricked and again to give me Plan
Speaker 1: B money that didn't need to be given, but thank you.
Speaker 1: I talked about sucking someone and only knowing there at name,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, and here goes my mother there mona,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna beat you as when I see so. One
Speaker 1: of our previous guests decided to ask our mothers, do
Speaker 1: you swallow or take the come on your day? Well no,
Speaker 1: and then my mom said something crazy. So UM for
Speaker 1: you guys who have subscribed to Patreon, you will um.
Speaker 1: The video footage will be up this weekend. Lord proper,
Speaker 1: I'm waiting on him to send me the footage, but
Speaker 1: we'll also go ahead and be releasing behind the scenes
Speaker 1: from videos that our friends captured and we will also
Speaker 1: be posting pictures um, some that we haven't posted on
Speaker 1: our Instagram page. So we'll get more into Patreon at
Speaker 1: the end of the show and let you guys know
Speaker 1: how you guys can help us. UM. And so I
Speaker 1: guess we'll do. I guess we'll go into the Kink
Speaker 1: of the Week and the King of the Week into
Speaker 1: I know we can definitely talk about it. UM. I'm
Speaker 1: kind of think, oh my god, the girl that breaking
Speaker 1: did dp bro that was down. So before the show,
Speaker 1: we had Sam White out shout out to our host. Um,
Speaker 1: you guys loved him, by the way. We had him
Speaker 1: host two shows, two games shows or yeah games whatever,
Speaker 1: quote quota ho and the like. Our listeners had to
Speaker 1: guess who said what, and we came up with some
Speaker 1: really good quotes. I don't know if you can. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite ones was the bonus quote. He said,
Speaker 1: all bitches and he has got in good dicks and
Speaker 1: and they'll be smiling. And nobody realized that was leak
Speaker 1: the lips. But anything that pretty much had to do
Speaker 1: with like throwing up and getting wasted and being emotional,
Speaker 1: everybody knew was me. And then and then here we
Speaker 1: go with us, what the plan being, I've taken Plan
Speaker 1: B with billionaires. I ain't have no fucking baby. And
Speaker 1: then in fact, no, no, everybody knew. Everyone knew that
Speaker 1: was me. Like there was a girl that we had
Speaker 1: like never have I ever game? And me and Mandy
Speaker 1: are in like the back right getting our makeup done,
Speaker 1: and I hear him says, anyone ever had done DP?
Speaker 1: And then everybody goes, there was a girl who um
Speaker 1: she said one love her boy told me when we
Speaker 1: were at dinner the other night, he said, the final
Speaker 1: question was have you ever sucked a celebrity? And she
Speaker 1: was the last one standing. That's hilarious. Doubt it not stop.
Speaker 1: You know what's so crazy? You bring him up and
Speaker 1: he has been literally he just so he's actually for
Speaker 1: those who followed me on no, actually shut up, well,
Speaker 1: Fellam Bay is actually no longer Fellam Bay. For those
Speaker 1: of you who um follow me on Instagram and came
Speaker 1: to the live show, Um, just as quickly as he
Speaker 1: entered My Love My Life, he also exited it. Um
Speaker 1: he is back in carthree. I did not know. I
Speaker 1: think he led me to believe he had just got out.
Speaker 1: He's been out for a three years, he's been out
Speaker 1: for two years. Two years, he's been out for two years.
Speaker 1: He did eight years. Um. People were asking in the
Speaker 1: show June. It's so funny. I thought he would have
Speaker 1: been there. Speaking of Nia there barely let us say
Speaker 1: welcome to horrible decisions before some bitch took her fingers
Speaker 1: say and that like that, I said, let's get this start. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's go in and let's go in and go. So no, no,
Speaker 1: My ex girlfriend was there too, which was hilarious because
Speaker 1: when I was dating her is when I met him
Speaker 1: and they were both I could see them both like
Speaker 1: turn and look at each other and then she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's not nice to finally meet him. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not that bit that Yeah. And another person that
Speaker 1: I slept with was also in attendance to Like, I
Speaker 1: just really appreciated that lovers um two women and then him,
Speaker 1: but that lovers could be there and like support me
Speaker 1: and I'll be in the same room and get along.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, this is just my one
Speaker 1: happy whole family. Yeah. A lot of my lovers live
Speaker 1: out of town, but they bought tickets even though they
Speaker 1: didn't show up. A lot of people bought tickets for
Speaker 1: us that it was still crazy package. Yeah, and um yeah,
Speaker 1: Fellam Bay would have been there. It was planned for
Speaker 1: him to be there, um, and that's why he actually
Speaker 1: so he ended up listening to the episode that we
Speaker 1: talked about, and you know what, he wasn't upset about
Speaker 1: me calling him fellam Bay laughed at it. The part
Speaker 1: that pissed him off the most was, I guess he
Speaker 1: caught that. I said he had a medium dick, and
Speaker 1: he rode my ass about saying that, and I was like,
Speaker 1: but if it fits in me, I still like you.
Speaker 1: It's like a pocket. It's like, you know, you're good. Um.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, he's no longer. I wanted to say
Speaker 1: something that's superdo it. I thought that happened and we
Speaker 1: didn't meet and greet after and got to meet so
Speaker 1: many of you. I hung out with a couple from
Speaker 1: Cleveland after. I really liked them. They were so Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were super no social media. The girl sent us
Speaker 1: like an emails like thanks so much. Yeah, she was super.
Speaker 1: I do want to give a shout out, I guess
Speaker 1: to the people who traveled we had from Chris. Shout
Speaker 1: out Chrissie from Chicago. UM. Also, UM, I don't know
Speaker 1: name from Toronto. I feel bad, I don't know, but
Speaker 1: shout out home girl from Toronto. Shout out the chick
Speaker 1: who was there at four pm and helped us set
Speaker 1: up chairs from Boston. Oh my god. She came so
Speaker 1: early that the venue just let her in and she
Speaker 1: was like, Hi, I'm up. She was three hours really um,
Speaker 1: and she just walked in and she's like, just really
Speaker 1: want to screen. I think she thought I was screaming
Speaker 1: at her because I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 1: She and she was just super dope. Also shout out
Speaker 1: UM to t J and his wife, UM, which is
Speaker 1: the couple from the Baltimore. She's the teacher. She came
Speaker 1: in and did her rap that she did at the
Speaker 1: Browing Idiots show, UM, which is where I met them.
Speaker 1: And they also shout out if you guys want to
Speaker 1: listen to a couple's podcast, they have one called Quarrels
Speaker 1: the Corals Show. I believe ye Lovers Coral. No, there's
Speaker 1: a group of three girls that came up to us.
Speaker 1: They were so adorable and they said, so we had
Speaker 1: raffles that were giveaways for sex toys and The final
Speaker 1: raffle is a threesome day with me and Mandy where
Speaker 1: we take somebody out. So these girls come up to
Speaker 1: us maybe ten minutes before the raffles are called. They're like,
Speaker 1: we always write you guys ems, I think they said,
Speaker 1: and they were like, we just want to smoke all
Speaker 1: out some time or like kick it or whatever. And
Speaker 1: I said, oh, maybe I'll win the raffle. And then
Speaker 1: suddenly they call it and been scream and it's so
Speaker 1: funny because everyone else said, we're taking pictures with Yahoo
Speaker 1: was playing that ship. I don't know that it wasn't
Speaker 1: playing deservice. So we're gonna hang out with her on Sunday.
Speaker 1: We're going to um but yeah, so that was cool
Speaker 1: and I was gonna say I'm losing my train of thought,
Speaker 1: but um yeah, I really liked that, and I wish
Speaker 1: we could do this every time, and I hope we can.
Speaker 1: People that flew in. I think we hung out with
Speaker 1: all of them after for food, right, most of them,
Speaker 1: not all of them, Okay, um yeah, because the other
Speaker 1: girls from Chicago was like, y'all invited the other girls
Speaker 1: for Chicago, but not of us, And I was like,
Speaker 1: we just all that girl to a few of our
Speaker 1: listeners took pictures with us and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: tack us in them, and they were like, I don't
Speaker 1: have social media. And that fucked me up because I thought, damn,
Speaker 1: you really listen to this podcast. You followed it. You
Speaker 1: fucking had to listen to our voices to go on event, right,
Speaker 1: because you don't see us most things, you still are here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty crazy. Well, we're gonna get right into
Speaker 1: the show for this week, and so you guys know,
Speaker 1: we like to begin with a ink of the week. Um,
Speaker 1: and this one just it resonates with me kind of
Speaker 1: sort of now in my life. Um, but no, it's
Speaker 1: it's rather it's rather interesting. So the kink of the
Speaker 1: week for this week is hy bristophilia, and hybristophilia is
Speaker 1: a paraphilia in which sexual arousal facilitation and attainment and
Speaker 1: attainment of orgasm are responsive to and contention upon how
Speaker 1: that's got no b Being with a partner known to
Speaker 1: have committed an outrage, cheating, lying, known in fidelities, or
Speaker 1: crimes such as rape, murder, or armed robbery. Being attracted
Speaker 1: to those things or gets it's actually being attracted and
Speaker 1: finding at attraction and orgasm to those type of people. Dude,
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about this razing because me
Speaker 1: and level Way just had a conversation about me wanting
Speaker 1: to play the scene out and I feel like, well,
Speaker 1: that's different. That's something completely different with this um particular kink.
Speaker 1: It's people who are aroused by knowing that their partners
Speaker 1: did these crimes. So um, so I have I used
Speaker 1: to get put my pussy web for drug dealers? Does
Speaker 1: that count or is it a money thing? It's it's
Speaker 1: actually people who are incarcerated, people who are in jail
Speaker 1: or have been in jail. Um And so I what
Speaker 1: do you google to find this Mandy prison bay kinks
Speaker 1: or something like that. I was like kinks of people
Speaker 1: in jail because you know, I'm sitting here and I
Speaker 1: know I told you all that I am not a writer.
Speaker 1: Die and I literally had a whole conversation with my
Speaker 1: coworkers today, like, so this letter that I write him
Speaker 1: and jailed? Is it handwritten? Do I ask? Do I?
Speaker 1: How do I started? I know? So I'm actually considering
Speaker 1: writing fell in Bay. Okay, I'll yeah, when I write it,
Speaker 1: I'll share, I'll share with y'all the story. You know
Speaker 1: what Nick is be doing in jail? Tell me I
Speaker 1: want to know. Please tweet Mandy or we're gonna I'm
Speaker 1: working on our horrible decisions Twitter. I'm trying to keep
Speaker 1: it to the one that you guys already know that's
Speaker 1: like lockdown. But tweet us about if this is true
Speaker 1: or not. Why do niggas from jail always draw ship
Speaker 1: and send you artwork because they're boy, That's why, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I talked to him and I
Speaker 1: told him vocabulary is was so well. I was like,
Speaker 1: what the fucking books they give you all jail goddamn
Speaker 1: articularly you are articulated as fun um. So it's funny
Speaker 1: because as I was looking this up, I was like,
Speaker 1: why would someone be attracted to someone in jail? Um?
Speaker 1: And so I looked it up. These are a couple
Speaker 1: of reasons. Tell me if any of these makes sense. Um.
Speaker 1: Some believe that they can change a man as cruel
Speaker 1: and powerful as a serial killer. Others see the little
Speaker 1: boy that the killer once was and seek to nurture him. Um.
Speaker 1: A few hope to share in the media spotlight or
Speaker 1: get a book or movie deal. However, this was one
Speaker 1: of the best explanations of this, and I think that, um,
Speaker 1: this comes to sense with maybe some of the relationship
Speaker 1: discussions we've had. Then there's the notion of the perfect boyfriend.
Speaker 1: She knows where he is at all times and knows
Speaker 1: that he's thinking about her. While she can claim that
Speaker 1: someone loves her, she does not have to endure the
Speaker 1: day to day issues involved in most relationships. There's no
Speaker 1: laundry to do, no cooking for him, and no accountability
Speaker 1: to him. She can keep the she can keep the
Speaker 1: fantasy charged up for a long time. And when I
Speaker 1: read that, I said, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: That's the most reasonable one. That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: And it's weird because I don't have that fascination. Of course,
Speaker 1: I met fell e Bay outside of jail, um, and
Speaker 1: I'm mad that he's had this impact on me to
Speaker 1: where I actually want to write him and to say this.
Speaker 1: But the thing that I can correlate closest to that
Speaker 1: is having long distance relationships. And I've been in a lot.
Speaker 1: But you don't feel in control over that either. To me,
Speaker 1: when they're out, you still know that they can do
Speaker 1: whatever the fun they want. To do. I don't know
Speaker 1: the long distance relationships. I feel like it's like less
Speaker 1: ship to argue about. Like it's all like anticipating seeing
Speaker 1: each other. What's gonna happen. It's gonna happen, always gonna happen. Bitch.
Speaker 1: Fuck you know any movies I watched with lover Bay
Speaker 1: at this point, I want that nigga go back, come back,
Speaker 1: We buy and then like, oh I got ten more days. Shit,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm looking for. So I wanted UM. This
Speaker 1: actually brought me to this, and it's a site that
Speaker 1: I knew of for a while because I make jokes
Speaker 1: with all of my all of my guys who live
Speaker 1: in other states, and I'm like, if I wanted a
Speaker 1: pen pal, I'd go to inmate dot com. So for
Speaker 1: you guys listening to the show writing me and you
Speaker 1: can just click on different ones. I would love for
Speaker 1: you guys, if you're currently listening, get onto yourself. Are
Speaker 1: you about to give them his name? No bit? Type
Speaker 1: in inmates dot com and UM podcast on speaker get
Speaker 1: it out and so inmate dot com is inmates seeking
Speaker 1: friendship outside of phone. Now because I'm gonna pass you mind,
Speaker 1: I'm going to read the first one because I literally
Speaker 1: spent probably an hour going through these weeks with my
Speaker 1: roommate and it's so much fun. So here is I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say his name, right, so I'm reading
Speaker 1: one now. Hold on, bitch, I'm already wanted. You can
Speaker 1: read them compass. Do you want him? I want the perfect? Oh? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm on here and they actually have bios like you
Speaker 1: would on match dot com. And so can the inmates
Speaker 1: access this website? And these are the yes. I guess
Speaker 1: in prison you have access to computers. Yeah, they do
Speaker 1: because I've done a computer like so this one, the
Speaker 1: bio says, are you the one I'm looking for? Um?
Speaker 1: And so I'll just read maybe his first? You know thing.
Speaker 1: It gives me great pleasure to have this opportunity of
Speaker 1: meeting a special woman I can devote my undivided attention to.
Speaker 1: If you happen to know, if you happen to be herd,
Speaker 1: then I'm reaching out with high hopes of touching you,
Speaker 1: And it doesn't have to be physically in order for
Speaker 1: you to fil me clearly, I seek to stimulate your
Speaker 1: mind with uplifting thoughts, corress your heart with my conscience,
Speaker 1: loving care and ultimately be a positive, motivating presence in
Speaker 1: your life. I desire a lady who's equally looking for
Speaker 1: something meaningful. So at the bottom of these mind you,
Speaker 1: he has a long paragraph explaining who he can do
Speaker 1: this for the rest of the episode honestly because no,
Speaker 1: but so I'm when you go on, you read their
Speaker 1: their bio, their information, and then at the very bottom
Speaker 1: it has personal information. Is tender for jail? I said,
Speaker 1: can you calm down, because I said, you're going to
Speaker 1: read another one. So this one the personal information. You
Speaker 1: have their sex, race, date of birth, height, weight, and
Speaker 1: it also gives you the length of their sentence, incarceration date,
Speaker 1: and what they were convicted of. This particular guy was
Speaker 1: incarcerated in two thousand three. The length of his sentence
Speaker 1: is fifteen years, and he is convicted of attempted murder
Speaker 1: and drive by shooting. I was just like, oh, Lord,
Speaker 1: and a couple of them. You see murder, you see
Speaker 1: first degree, you see um, if they sold drugs, is
Speaker 1: there a cost associated not that I saw? No, Like, basically,
Speaker 1: so how do they make money? Click click here to
Speaker 1: send message. No, it's free for us. You must have
Speaker 1: to pay for ship. And then it says, please write
Speaker 1: their whole address is at the bottom as well. Anybody
Speaker 1: you want to do you want to just find one?
Speaker 1: I guess you want to find one, dude. I just
Speaker 1: want to look at these dudes. He was cute. Let
Speaker 1: me see inmate thinking friendship outside of prison laws. While
Speaker 1: society at largest social media to thank for new friendships
Speaker 1: in relationships and insights. It's total social exclusive for an inmate,
Speaker 1: not only physical. But this is her first time saying
Speaker 1: the site. By the way, guys, so she's just cute.
Speaker 1: Read names we don't know. This is on Google. Ian
Speaker 1: is cute as what's up? I'm a virgo in my
Speaker 1: name Seattle. I'm green Astis. We'll tell us one seventy
Speaker 1: and a lean act can go down. What is his conviction?
Speaker 1: I'm an artist in worlder by trade, and I in
Speaker 1: licensed tattoo artists and I define man shit, what American dream?
Speaker 1: No games, no bowl? I'm wasting precious life. I feel
Speaker 1: like not challenging myself. I've been in prison for seven
Speaker 1: years three I'm ready to be home and get going
Speaker 1: with life. Um, white male, we know, I like twelve
Speaker 1: years for first degree possession of the fire. That's it.
Speaker 1: Oh attempted Robert Oh attempted robbery to attempted bit. I
Speaker 1: know the Joe type. Let me see here you go
Speaker 1: with mine? What Mr Worth the way? Excuse me, beautifully
Speaker 1: send me photos. I was dump because of my incarceration.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm sorry, I want to scroll up really quick.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you what these niggas is doing in jail.
Speaker 1: My wait, my six favorite songs to start your own
Speaker 1: my dre's playlist. Let's see how old they are. Three
Speaker 1: of them are r Kelly. Of course, what do he do? Distribution?
Speaker 1: What is it? Distribution of cocaine? I think I saw
Speaker 1: him already, cal I think I already like, yo, this
Speaker 1: is done. Most but these niggs are sitting around jail
Speaker 1: and being like, yo, you ain't nobody to put your
Speaker 1: money up. I got you long on this ship. Blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. A lot of these dudes are really good looking,
Speaker 1: and I guess these pictures are from when they were out.
Speaker 1: I wonder how you know some of them are actually inside,
Speaker 1: like some of them are inside, but a lot of
Speaker 1: them are like ones from I wondering maybe from family
Speaker 1: members so you can connect your Facebook to it. I
Speaker 1: didn't sign up with Mark Zuckerberg. This is dope. Oh,
Speaker 1: so did you find Felon Bay in here? Fellon Bay
Speaker 1: just got incarcerated. I doubt he's I don't know. You
Speaker 1: can save your profile and pose it. No, I actually
Speaker 1: spend your account and you know, fuck you know. I
Speaker 1: had my friend who's actually been in jail. I said
Speaker 1: I need a favorite. Um, I said, could you find his?
Speaker 1: Because I know I need like his jail cell number
Speaker 1: or whatever the funk they call it. You know, I
Speaker 1: know they go buy numbers and not names in jail
Speaker 1: because I watch all these jail shots. So I was like,
Speaker 1: can you find out where he is? He was like,
Speaker 1: write on at girl Free found it for me, like
Speaker 1: in seconds. It was like, oh, he's been transferred to Rikers.
Speaker 1: So he's now at Rikers and so I don't know
Speaker 1: how long he's going to be there. But I mean,
Speaker 1: you're willing to write him visit him? No? Not while
Speaker 1: that's interesting? Um, what was he He violated probation? Right?
Speaker 1: And let me just say, like this is when it
Speaker 1: doesn't get funny anymore, because I really fucking believe they
Speaker 1: just let Niets go and just try to keep him
Speaker 1: down Like this is total systematic no, and so I
Speaker 1: want to ask him. I mean, I would love you
Speaker 1: guys as comments, because I've never written a letter to
Speaker 1: someone in jail, So I don't know if it's wrong
Speaker 1: for me to ask him, Nigga, why the funk are
Speaker 1: you in there? Like what happened? Because it was literally
Speaker 1: he was supposed to come over after his meeting with
Speaker 1: his parole officer and which he just went ghosts. Like
Speaker 1: you have to use a lot of like I think
Speaker 1: something that um, we forget about writing letters is like
Speaker 1: we're used to like instant gratification, text back, fourth, back forth,
Speaker 1: back forth when you write a letter to someone. Actually
Speaker 1: wrote an email to love her boy the other day
Speaker 1: because my phone went out and I was like, God,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm writing a love note, but it
Speaker 1: has to be longer. You have to say everything you're
Speaker 1: going to anticipate that letter back. It's kind of a
Speaker 1: nice feeling. I mean, I've done letters with friends in
Speaker 1: jail and lovers or whatever ex lovers, but I think
Speaker 1: one thing you should talk about is like, how do
Speaker 1: you feel about him? And you're sorry and I'm so
Speaker 1: mad that he has me feeling this way. We was
Speaker 1: only for like five weeks. It was the cuddling and
Speaker 1: the kiss on the forehead. I am, isn't that why
Speaker 1: I started crying? He kissed me on the forehead and
Speaker 1: I just felt like shower in tears. If you wonder
Speaker 1: why where he got his name from? The episode four
Speaker 1: then Nigga started touching my face while I was sleeping,
Speaker 1: and I was yeah. And so the kiss on the
Speaker 1: forehead and me actually enjoying his company, UM, it was
Speaker 1: something for me. So yeah, So the horrible decision guys
Speaker 1: for this week, UM, I actually wanted to talk about
Speaker 1: dating multiple partners, and I wanted to talk about in
Speaker 1: reference to She's Got to Have It UM. For those
Speaker 1: of you who may have seen her may have not
Speaker 1: seen it, There is a Spike Lee UM remake on Netflix,
Speaker 1: which is a remake of the original movie She's Got
Speaker 1: to Have At that featured Spike Lee. And in this
Speaker 1: show on Netflix, you're seeing Nola Darling, who is a
Speaker 1: black kind of artists from Brooklyn, very New York, very beautiful,
Speaker 1: and in the show, she's super fun. And in the
Speaker 1: show you see her with these multiple partners and how
Speaker 1: each of them bring out a different side to her,
Speaker 1: and I feel like, Um, I feel like the show
Speaker 1: is about me. I ain't hold you because she has
Speaker 1: one lover who Um is a young guy who she
Speaker 1: just has fun with. He's fun, he's funny, he brings
Speaker 1: her her spirits up. I haven't on like on Apiasterday,
Speaker 1: but I always thought like if if at the end
Speaker 1: it's one person, I felt like it would be him.
Speaker 1: I felt like it would be him as well, like
Speaker 1: and he was just so down for her. Then you
Speaker 1: have you know what that is. I'm sorry, but you're
Speaker 1: so down because he has nothing else going on, you
Speaker 1: think so you think it's a give me the best attention, bro.
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. Well. And then the second guy
Speaker 1: that she was dealing with UM was Greer. Greer is
Speaker 1: this model who is apparently supposed to be really good
Speaker 1: looking and hung to me. To me was understand like
Speaker 1: how he has like the perfect look to me when
Speaker 1: that means like you type of black dude. White girls
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, for sure. And it's so
Speaker 1: funny because while I was watching the show, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys noticed, I feel like maybe he's
Speaker 1: so flamboyantly gay in real life that he couldn't act
Speaker 1: like a straight man because she has to be, because
Speaker 1: there was no way he was straight. I wasn't convinced
Speaker 1: the entire season. I was in the French restaurant and
Speaker 1: I was like, this is this He was played the
Speaker 1: game your Opina gay a lot. He definitely did. And
Speaker 1: then of course you had Jamie, and Jamie was the
Speaker 1: guy who's still married, who was financially secure and broke
Speaker 1: her off some bread. Absolutely, and then of course you
Speaker 1: had Opalin bro I started following her. I mess reading
Speaker 1: super beautiful. And to me this was also because when
Speaker 1: I get fed up with all my niggas, I go
Speaker 1: back to dealing with women, and I feel like that's
Speaker 1: what Opel was to Nola. I had a conversation today
Speaker 1: um over lunch and we did not even realizing that
Speaker 1: this was our episode today, but I was having left
Speaker 1: with a guard do I work with, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I'm so fucking tired of people acting like this, Nola
Speaker 1: Darland ship is cool, Like it's cool to be a hoe.
Speaker 1: What yo. I'm sitting there with my girl Maya and
Speaker 1: him and I'm like what, And I said, let me
Speaker 1: tell you something, but he's like, girls like like, she's
Speaker 1: so dope. He's like, even the way she starts the episode,
Speaker 1: it's like, I'm not a hoe. I don't like labels,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And I said, I feel like it's
Speaker 1: almost a joke because there's been so many shows out
Speaker 1: there with men doing this, and I've never heard you
Speaker 1: get this upset. And I said to him, if I
Speaker 1: started dating another guy that wasn't lover boy, what would
Speaker 1: you do? Would you call me a home to my face? Dude?
Speaker 1: I was like, I know you care about me. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't do it, would you? And he was like, well no,
Speaker 1: I said, He's like, I mean unless you started sucking him,
Speaker 1: then your home. I said, what, you even told me
Speaker 1: to start sucking with other niggas when he made me mad,
Speaker 1: And you want to sit here and tell me that, bro.
Speaker 1: I was so frustrated because I think it's just like,
Speaker 1: you're not a home if I know you, Because I
Speaker 1: know he wouldn't call me a hope if I did that,
Speaker 1: but if I mean, he may think it but not
Speaker 1: say it. So they the second we see them, just like,
Speaker 1: what's crazy is even her lovers were doing it to
Speaker 1: her when she wore the little black dress, so she
Speaker 1: wore a little black dress, and she wore with each
Speaker 1: lover and they all responded in a different way, Like
Speaker 1: basically the guy this guy was trying to rub up
Speaker 1: on her and the way she reacted to Mars about it,
Speaker 1: like oh, well, like you have this black dress on,
Speaker 1: but that's kind of a part of the meeting conversation.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, he was like, we'll look at that dress,
Speaker 1: rub up on you too, And that's kind of what
Speaker 1: we deal with. It's what we deal with um with
Speaker 1: the society as far as right now with the ripe culture,
Speaker 1: it's like, just because I dressed sexy doesn't mean I
Speaker 1: know at just the photo thing that kind of annoyed me,
Speaker 1: which oh with Greer when he was like, oh you're
Speaker 1: so sexy, blah blah blah, but like you painted him too,
Speaker 1: just she did sexy. It's okay for him to bark
Speaker 1: at you when he's fucking you and do all this
Speaker 1: weird animalistic ship. That part I didn't like. There's a
Speaker 1: few things I'm gonna tell you the same. I'm starting
Speaker 1: to like the show. First episode, didn't like. Watched it
Speaker 1: with enough James and Christopher and we were like, I
Speaker 1: feel like I don't like shows where people are like
Speaker 1: talking to the camera a lot. How good Cards did
Speaker 1: that very well? Well, I do how some Cards did it,
Speaker 1: and so did the Bernie mac Show like you Have,
Speaker 1: and there's not a lot of shows that can do
Speaker 1: it well. I didn't like it with the men talking
Speaker 1: to the camera, um, and so that threw me off.
Speaker 1: It got way better towards me, but um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like the show a lot. I'm trying not to
Speaker 1: give a lot of things away, but just talking in
Speaker 1: terms of personalities. But there's a few things that I
Speaker 1: kind of got annoyed with with this show. Um. I
Speaker 1: like the assault piece and how she had to get
Speaker 1: over it and went to a therapist for it and
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But I didn't like how she needed
Speaker 1: to show the pete the in in her life treating
Speaker 1: her this way. Like I don't know if it made
Speaker 1: me feel like if you're polyamorous, then at some point
Speaker 1: like men are going to view you in this way
Speaker 1: or they're going to say these comments to you and
Speaker 1: stuff like that because you funk with a bunch of niggas.
Speaker 1: I don't like that, because the truth is and polyamorous
Speaker 1: relationships that I've known about, whether black or white. Generally,
Speaker 1: these partners are very open with their other. Um Like,
Speaker 1: the person is very open with the other right there,
Speaker 1: like I'm dealing with this amount of people blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and there's not so much judgment on the other side
Speaker 1: because they're in this relationship to other people outside judge you.
Speaker 1: But I think it didn't shine a good light for
Speaker 1: women to be polyamorous because in her mind that's the thing.
Speaker 1: So and I think that man treated her that way. Well, no,
Speaker 1: but in her mind she was polyamorous because she was
Speaker 1: dating these three people. I think she is probably right.
Speaker 1: But the three men involved did not agreed to be
Speaker 1: in the polyamorous relationship. So it wasn't a polyamorous relationship
Speaker 1: because they couldn't have read or not because we're doing
Speaker 1: it and accepted. Well, no, they knew that she wasn't
Speaker 1: she isn't um what's the word exclusive to them. They
Speaker 1: all wanted her to be exclusive to them. They definitely
Speaker 1: each try I want commitment, I want this, I want that,
Speaker 1: and she wasn't giving it to them. So it's not
Speaker 1: like they agreed to just sit here and okay, where
Speaker 1: you're Polly, I'm gonna be Polly to and let you date.
Speaker 1: They all wanted to be exclusive with her and take
Speaker 1: her further in a relationship, but she was content with
Speaker 1: where she was. And it's so funny because I just
Speaker 1: had a conversation similar to to her dealings with a king.
Speaker 1: Shout out if you guys listened to the Combat Jack show. UM.
Speaker 1: So we talked about this and he asked kind of
Speaker 1: why I'm single? And I think that this was kind
Speaker 1: of where Nola was in her life as well. She
Speaker 1: was in a space where she was getting her ship together.
Speaker 1: All her ship wasn't together where she wanted to be. UM.
Speaker 1: But these specific people made her happy in different ways,
Speaker 1: but not one of them fulfilled everything. And so that's why.
Speaker 1: And I actually, UM, when I was talking about that
Speaker 1: with a guard today, I'm in to the King NOI
Speaker 1: episode when he made the pretty Ricky Um connotation, he
Speaker 1: said something like, you know you like pretty Ricky. I don't.
Speaker 1: It's okay for you to go out and find someone
Speaker 1: that does. UM. I wanted to bring up something, how
Speaker 1: many how long have you been recording? Can you tell
Speaker 1: me forty minutes? Should we go in? Well, let me
Speaker 1: tell you all this. So I have been seeing a therapist.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, are we talking about a lot of the
Speaker 1: reason that I changed. So, guys, I ain't even gonna
Speaker 1: hold you. I literally sat here and I'm going to
Speaker 1: tell them because I liked them to know behind the scenes.
Speaker 1: So so we didn't really get deep. Man, I am
Speaker 1: gonna get a little deep because I sat here and um,
Speaker 1: so all I meant so Wheezy, Me and Wheezy were
Speaker 1: going through hell for um quite some time, um, and
Speaker 1: I was talking all my friends about it, and I
Speaker 1: didn't understand why every time we talked like it just
Speaker 1: got worse and worse. And for those of you who
Speaker 1: don't know, I stopped talking to Lawyer Bay because I
Speaker 1: just felt the energy was so negative and it I
Speaker 1: was proud of you for doing this. So I guess
Speaker 1: Weezy kind of felt the tension. In one of one
Speaker 1: of the sessions, she came to me and was like,
Speaker 1: I guess it's time for me to tell you I've
Speaker 1: been seeing a therapist. Um, and I guess I'll let
Speaker 1: you get into two more in depth. What you've been
Speaker 1: speaking with them about and how this has affected you
Speaker 1: on not only a relationship level of professional level. We
Speaker 1: have this business together. Um, and it kind of made
Speaker 1: me take a step back because I was just like,
Speaker 1: why the funk is everything bring? Every little thing was
Speaker 1: starting an argument. If you guys are members of Patreon,
Speaker 1: you guys heard the episode where were just people were
Speaker 1: saying it wasn't that bad and I'm like, um, and
Speaker 1: was like, I didn't think it was that bad. I'm
Speaker 1: like you just being nice. It was bad. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: so this was also before because people were like, Mandy,
Speaker 1: you were tripping. No, bitch, I was not tripping. But
Speaker 1: this is the thing too, and this is what what
Speaker 1: what my friends said. Listening to it, you could have
Speaker 1: seen how I could have took taken what you said
Speaker 1: out of context. But to me, there was just a
Speaker 1: lot of other conversations we've had previously to what had
Speaker 1: led me to take it a certain way that people
Speaker 1: don't hear on the show. So the reason I thought
Speaker 1: about bringing it up just now is because Nola Darling
Speaker 1: is the reason I needed a black one. So I, UM,
Speaker 1: I don't know what like really in the stresses in
Speaker 1: my life that have caused it, But um, I used
Speaker 1: to think at first when it was happening, and feelings
Speaker 1: of just like um emptiness or like loneliness were just
Speaker 1: because lover boy wasn't here. So I thought, Okay, he's
Speaker 1: at me home, and it's fine. He's home. He is
Speaker 1: doing everything I could have asked for, and I still
Speaker 1: feel terrible and I could not understand what it was.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I need to start
Speaker 1: seeing a therapist. And it was a little bit before
Speaker 1: he got home that I knew I needed to do it.
Speaker 1: But um, I started seeing a therapist and like realizing
Speaker 1: some things about whether it just be my professional life
Speaker 1: or things that I don't have in New York that
Speaker 1: I have at home. So I'm always feeling like I
Speaker 1: need to leave to get back to myself where I'm
Speaker 1: not making this landmark for myself in New York. Started
Speaker 1: watching Nola Darling and I'm sorry I keep saying that.
Speaker 1: I started to watch that She's Gonna have it, and
Speaker 1: her friend is like, I got you. I'm gonna get too,
Speaker 1: Black therap his whatever, it is gonna be great. And
Speaker 1: I was like watching the connection she had with this
Speaker 1: woman and I was like, yeah, oh my god, dude.
Speaker 1: So a few days ago this I've only had one conversation.
Speaker 1: Why I think did I say it on horrible decisions
Speaker 1: you started on the Instagram. I'm talking to my therapist, Judy,
Speaker 1: who I was chosen for me through my insurance, and um,
Speaker 1: she's been all right, you know, like she'd like let
Speaker 1: me know, like okay, your experience feelings. The depression is
Speaker 1: kind of common for something called SAD seasonal effective disorder
Speaker 1: or something I watched Broad City. You can get a
Speaker 1: SAD lamp, which is a lamp that you can plug
Speaker 1: into like shoot all this vitamin d out at you,
Speaker 1: basically like the sun. It's like forty bucks on Amazon,
Speaker 1: and you can just stare into it or leave it
Speaker 1: on and people say they feel better and they feel
Speaker 1: inerget because you wake up it's dark. You go back
Speaker 1: from work, it's dark, like you don't really see any anymore,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Some ship I don't know
Speaker 1: the middle of a word. So anyway, I told her
Speaker 1: yesterday I was getting really comfortable, not yesterday, whatever day
Speaker 1: that was, I was getting really comfortable. I'm in her
Speaker 1: office and I'm discussing a conversation I had with a colleague,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know what I'm saying and this
Speaker 1: nigga just always blah blah blah, and she said this
Speaker 1: what Wait she had a problem with you saying ni.
Speaker 1: She said, no, wait, who are we talking about? Because
Speaker 1: I got confused, and I was like, I got confused.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, hold on, are you about to
Speaker 1: ask me he's black? Because I said that, because you
Speaker 1: know you'd be mad like this, motherfuckers you think you're
Speaker 1: talking about someone in general. She looked so uncomfortable and
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, I can't do this anymore, Judy,
Speaker 1: this isn't going to work, I said, And she says,
Speaker 1: what do you feel like? Therapy isn't working for you?
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel like I need a black
Speaker 1: woman or a black man, and I'm sorry, maybe even Latino,
Speaker 1: but this is there's a disconnect with me and you,
Speaker 1: and it's because you're white. Everybody told me I was
Speaker 1: so fucking wrong for doing that. I said, well, let
Speaker 1: me tell you what I found out. I was right.
Speaker 1: I found a therapist online, literally typed in black New
Speaker 1: York therapist found one chick spokes on the phone. She
Speaker 1: was super cool. She's so booked up. She's like, yo,
Speaker 1: I know we're unicorns. I'm sorry, girl, hit me up.
Speaker 1: In a month, I found his black black in Dominican.
Speaker 1: I get on the phone with him for about twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: We start talking and I already knew I liked him
Speaker 1: because I said something and like, He's like, why did
Speaker 1: you think you need someone black? I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, there's just this underlying thing of me
Speaker 1: feeling like the person i'm talking to voted for Trump.
Speaker 1: He's like, I fucking no, exactly what you're saying. Tomorrow,
Speaker 1: sat with this dude, started talking about a few things,
Speaker 1: and um, my life, my relationship, my family, my friends.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that he said, which is
Speaker 1: why I wanted to talk about it, was that he
Speaker 1: thinks my podcast has an influence on He said. Yes,
Speaker 1: he says, you even talking to you right now, you're laughing,
Speaker 1: you're telling jokes with me, but there's this private side
Speaker 1: to you where you seem to get totally upset when
Speaker 1: you're alone, and I can't figure out what it is.
Speaker 1: And the only new thing in your life life besides
Speaker 1: the relationship, is your podcast. He says that a lot
Speaker 1: of people that have newfound fame, not saying we're famous,
Speaker 1: but he says, you know, he's in New York with
Speaker 1: young people. He says, your fame could be a thousand people,
Speaker 1: but it's all your world. And he was like, and
Speaker 1: now you're telling everything to have tens of thousands of
Speaker 1: people online and they have the space to judge you.
Speaker 1: Whether we go on lipstick ALLI, whether it's in my
Speaker 1: Instagram box, whether anybody hears it, whether it's a fake page,
Speaker 1: You're going to hear it. He's like, so if you
Speaker 1: decide to do something like, let's say, sleep with someone
Speaker 1: else that's not lover boy, what if you get his
Speaker 1: name right, you might think that someone's going to hear
Speaker 1: this and judge you. Either cheering for you, rooting for you.
Speaker 1: Someone may not like it. Someone's gonna call you a ho.
Speaker 1: He might hear it. He's like, everything is aired out
Speaker 1: and there's nothing that you have this private. And it's
Speaker 1: very hard. Now I can ask you a question about
Speaker 1: that because I found it on UM and I don't
Speaker 1: know exactly where you were in the state of my
Speaker 1: not and if you're drunk, so when you were in
Speaker 1: Orlando you got on Instagram live or the i G
Speaker 1: story was like, yeah, so I'm missing an airing and
Speaker 1: it must have been in the guy's house that ate
Speaker 1: my pussy last night. I didn't say that, bitch, Yes
Speaker 1: you did. Okay, first of all, I didn't say my
Speaker 1: pussy last night. I said it might be had somebody's
Speaker 1: house because you got crazy head last night. You did.
Speaker 1: You were telling that story that well, you came out
Speaker 1: and told it to open just like literally got back
Speaker 1: to myself when I got to Orlando, so I haven't
Speaker 1: been seeing was resurrected. She was like, yeah, I lost
Speaker 1: my airring cell today. I was a clip in that
Speaker 1: dude came to Orlando. He's so dope. A friend of mine,
Speaker 1: um came to Orlando, and I mean to Orlando and
Speaker 1: came to New York. And the second lover voice saw
Speaker 1: me posting. He's like, I stocked. I know you fucking did.
Speaker 1: And I really didn't do anything with him. When I
Speaker 1: got to Orlando, I was like, nah, fuck it me
Speaker 1: and were good good night baby. Nothing was wrong. He
Speaker 1: wasn't out of spite. Was just like I felt like myself.
Speaker 1: And so the therapist said a few things to me.
Speaker 1: He said that even though I have a lot of
Speaker 1: friends in New York, the only person I care about
Speaker 1: is him, Loverboy. All of this pressure is on this
Speaker 1: one person for things to work, for everything to be perfect,
Speaker 1: for him to come home, because I don't care that
Speaker 1: deeply about anyone else in New York. The emotions he
Speaker 1: was speaking about, we're not necessarily from a romantic level,
Speaker 1: but from what I have with friends. And he said,
Speaker 1: you moved to New York and where a lot of
Speaker 1: people think when you first move you're gonna feel upset.
Speaker 1: You don't. You're so excited everything is new. You're too busy,
Speaker 1: which is how you were the whole first year you
Speaker 1: were here. Like now you're settled and things are real,
Speaker 1: which is why you had to get a last minute
Speaker 1: thanks I wasn't going home for Thanksgiving. It's like, fuck it.
Speaker 1: I got that flight maybe forty eight hours before. He's like,
Speaker 1: because you're making these irrational decisions. You don't know what's
Speaker 1: going on, because you feel completely alone, he said, Because
Speaker 1: he said, I said, sometimes I'll cry out of nowhere
Speaker 1: and everything is fine. Actually it was lover Boy's house.
Speaker 1: Went to the bathroom and he had just got done
Speaker 1: having sex, and I went to the bathroom to cry
Speaker 1: for a minute because I didn't know where it was
Speaker 1: coming from and I just I think I just felt
Speaker 1: like such a high and everything was good. And then like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, now what the sex is over? Now
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. It's stuff that's absolutely ridiculous. Like my
Speaker 1: mom said, do you think he's sleeping with someone else?
Speaker 1: I said, man, my Mark is all over that apartment.
Speaker 1: There's no way even if he was, I don't even know, dude,
Speaker 1: this is not about him. It's something that's so internal.
Speaker 1: But when I got home to Orlando, it just felt
Speaker 1: like me, people that loved me were there. I felt
Speaker 1: at home. I felt more comfortable. I was waking up
Speaker 1: just like knowing my purpose. It was so weird. And
Speaker 1: so then when I saw oh boy, we was out
Speaker 1: and like, yo you MATTQ. We was in New York.
Speaker 1: He never kissed me. I was waiting for you to
Speaker 1: kiss me all night? Was that and we were fu any.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I happened. You know what happened.
Speaker 1: It was dope. Um. But yeah, it's crazy because the therapist,
Speaker 1: like I've always thought therapy was bullshit, and I guess which,
Speaker 1: like a lot of black people feel like mental health
Speaker 1: is like a fucking b S thing. But bro, I
Speaker 1: talked to him last night before our day and like
Speaker 1: felt like I was on a cloud. Just airing it
Speaker 1: out to some one that's completely unbiased is great, And yeah,
Speaker 1: I wish that we could do ads for therapy. So
Speaker 1: if you guys wanna know that that, um, it's crazy
Speaker 1: because I haven't um thought to see a therapist. I
Speaker 1: don't really I really feel like I have a strong
Speaker 1: um idea of who I am, and I guess I'll
Speaker 1: go back to the conversation that I was having even
Speaker 1: just my understanding of what I want and what I
Speaker 1: don't want, so um, back to the conversations that I
Speaker 1: was having with a king. I literally and I kind
Speaker 1: of compartmentalized this to the relationships that Nolo Dotty had
Speaker 1: in the sense that when when I think of three
Speaker 1: things that I really want from a guy, I know
Speaker 1: that I want the sexual connection, I know that I
Speaker 1: want to want to be around you, and I want
Speaker 1: to know that you're financially secure. And for those three things,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna settle with a person who I feel
Speaker 1: lax in any of those three particular departments, because then
Speaker 1: I feel like I will seek one of those three
Speaker 1: things from someone else. So in the space that I
Speaker 1: am right now, being a full time student, working doing
Speaker 1: everything that I'm doing, my time is very limited. So
Speaker 1: I clearly want to want to be around you. If
Speaker 1: I don't want to be around you, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to one of the other thing. I just had to
Speaker 1: be very honest, and I did not like about Nola,
Speaker 1: like the sorry, she's gonna have it. They all three
Speaker 1: of them. I'm sorry, but the fact that she didn't
Speaker 1: want to wife any of them, it's because a lot
Speaker 1: of them were lacking ship she wanted just like you said.
Speaker 1: But no, but that But that's what I'm saying. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but you're not really going to meet a man that
Speaker 1: gives you the total package and you not want to
Speaker 1: fucking lock him down. But bullshit, because this is but
Speaker 1: this was my issue even with um. The one is
Speaker 1: emotionally unavailable. One is too full of himself. She couldn't
Speaker 1: laugh with him, she couldn't take him serious. Then one
Speaker 1: is living with his sister. Like I'm sorry, but each
Speaker 1: three of these bring the things that I want. One
Speaker 1: is financially secure in what you have with Jamie. Is
Speaker 1: that the girl? Sorry, guys, guess Jesus um, and so
Speaker 1: one is one is financially secure, the other is in
Speaker 1: a space where he doesn't have his ships together, but
Speaker 1: he's fun to be around. And then you have the
Speaker 1: third one who sexually but that's the thing. And so
Speaker 1: to me, none of them, she didn't want to wife
Speaker 1: any of them. And so we're sitting here like, oh,
Speaker 1: this girl is so dope and she can fucking just
Speaker 1: play the game and blah blah blah. But none of
Speaker 1: them were really that nick But for her, I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I have that same thing, bitch, felam bay are fine
Speaker 1: in me compared you don't want a wife guys a lot.
Speaker 1: You're like, way less emotional than me. That's true. No,
Speaker 1: but I do become immationally attached to guys. Fucking you
Speaker 1: don't know my last five years because we haven't friends
Speaker 1: so on for the last forty shows we've done, bro, Bro,
Speaker 1: I really would have. I would have whited, I would
Speaker 1: have cut everybody off. I'm saying you can be more
Speaker 1: of a nola darling than I can. Do You not
Speaker 1: agree with that? No, absolutely so, which is what I
Speaker 1: just said before you cut me out. No, I hear you.
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is do you not agree that
Speaker 1: you find that some of the show is bullshit? Because
Speaker 1: what are the odds that a girl can really be
Speaker 1: with these three men and fucking feel like I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I just don't. I that's why, and that's why I said,
Speaker 1: maybe you didn't like the show as much because you
Speaker 1: really seek these emotional connections. And with me, I relate
Speaker 1: to her in the sense that I do have partners.
Speaker 1: I have different guys on my phone seven I love
Speaker 1: being around He's funny, we talk, we catch up on
Speaker 1: each other's lives. His personality is bonb We talk, and
Speaker 1: then he Fox the dog shit on me. Fellam Bay
Speaker 1: wasn't as great in bed, but I truly enjoyed being
Speaker 1: around him. And then we have Lawyer Bay, who I
Speaker 1: enjoyed everything about him, but his mental was not there
Speaker 1: to where I stopped enjoying even talking to him. And
Speaker 1: so I do have these three things from each guys,
Speaker 1: but all three guys aren't everything that I would want
Speaker 1: in a in a guy to me um, and so
Speaker 1: I can't genuinely enjoy all these guys, enjoy what I
Speaker 1: get from each of these guys, and not like dislike them,
Speaker 1: not not have feelings for them, because I do have
Speaker 1: feelings for all of them, but I can still not
Speaker 1: want to be with them, if that makes sense. And
Speaker 1: that's because if I sit here and I decide, hey,
Speaker 1: I want to commit to you, I'm telling you I'm
Speaker 1: ready to cut all my hoes off. And if you
Speaker 1: don't make me feel like I can cut all my
Speaker 1: hoes off, I'm not going to commit to you because
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into a relationship where I
Speaker 1: still feel like I need something from another man. And again,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be with a broke nigga who I
Speaker 1: super like, because if I feel like I gotta ask
Speaker 1: the next nigga for tuition or listen, I want these shoes,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be with a man. And I talked
Speaker 1: to and I say this a lot with my home
Speaker 1: girls because they've had boyfriends and have and have had
Speaker 1: sugar daddies, and I'm like, why the funk would you
Speaker 1: commit to a man or you feel like you still
Speaker 1: need to be financially dependent on another man for it.
Speaker 1: And so what Nola did was she enjoyed little things
Speaker 1: of all of these men, even though she didn't see
Speaker 1: herself being with them long term. There was a piece
Speaker 1: of them that made her happy. And I think that
Speaker 1: that's the impression that, um, I don't know that so
Speaker 1: generalely with polyamorous relationships, you have a um I don't
Speaker 1: want to use the word main, there's another word primary. Sorry,
Speaker 1: you're a primary and that person fulfills most of the things.
Speaker 1: And she didn't have that right, which is why it
Speaker 1: was I think a little bit harder for me to
Speaker 1: be like, oh, is this a good representation? Well, you
Speaker 1: know what Polly means, and so yeah, if you want
Speaker 1: to literally dissect the showing that they have to share
Speaker 1: and be the Kumbaya like Brooklyn williamsburg Bush with gas
Speaker 1: niggas that be doing, you know what I'm saying. To me,
Speaker 1: what it was, it was honestly not Polly at all.
Speaker 1: To me, it was a single woman enjoying her sexual
Speaker 1: partners and enjoying the relationships that she had was prime amorous,
Speaker 1: because polyamorous means you actually have relationships with and she did.
Speaker 1: I do. But girl said, I'm sucking you like this
Speaker 1: so that you know that you're not getting sucked right
Speaker 1: by your other niggas. When I cussed out the nigga
Speaker 1: who was paying my bills. He said, did everybody get
Speaker 1: custed out today or just me? They're all very aware
Speaker 1: that I have other relationships with other guys and so,
Speaker 1: but they're not signing up to being a polyamorous relationship
Speaker 1: where they know my specific relationship with each of these
Speaker 1: Also a lot of these men that you're in these
Speaker 1: relationships are unavailable. No, they're except for the ones who pay.
Speaker 1: The married ones are unavailable. Is not unavailable, No, absolutely,
Speaker 1: We've talked about this, Fellam Bay. Is not unavailable. Was
Speaker 1: not unavailable Lawyer Bay up until when we start talking people,
Speaker 1: was not unavailable married. But I'm talking if I want,
Speaker 1: if I wanted to sit here and make the relationship
Speaker 1: anything different than what it was, I've seen. He's been
Speaker 1: on my phone every single day for someone actively right now?
Speaker 1: Are you like right now? Because of where I am
Speaker 1: in my life and because I'm focused on my career,
Speaker 1: and because I don't have the time to give that
Speaker 1: I would want to give to a relationship right now,
Speaker 1: I'm not looking. Did what I have settled down with
Speaker 1: Lawyer Bay when that situation was at a place where
Speaker 1: we could have Absolutely, because I was at a place
Speaker 1: where bank account was lit, school, I was about to graduate.
Speaker 1: I'm about to start my career. He's a lawyer. He
Speaker 1: just got his place. I was ready right now. Now
Speaker 1: that I didn't added another semester, I have to deal
Speaker 1: with c p A. If someone falls into my life,
Speaker 1: absolutely I would be in a relationship, but he would
Speaker 1: have to make me want to cut all these niggs off.
Speaker 1: That's that's just what it is like. So I would
Speaker 1: be in a relationship and I'm very emotional, like I
Speaker 1: was just even talking to got pissed on and he's
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, and that I've been talking to.
Speaker 1: Thing I hate about going back to like old dudes
Speaker 1: is because whenever likes me, I'm like, damn, I cut
Speaker 1: off my holes off. And then it's like not even
Speaker 1: nis that I really want to funk with. It's just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well I have a problem cutting guys off. But anyways, guys, Jesus,
Speaker 1: that was quite I guess the talk. We'll sit here
Speaker 1: and I guess we got about ten minutes to wrap
Speaker 1: up the show. Yeah, so but we'll go ahead, um
Speaker 1: before we sign out for this show. And I hope
Speaker 1: you guys really enjoyed it, because I think we kind
Speaker 1: of got into some some deep talking. Y'all heard a
Speaker 1: little bit of finish it, but not really but it
Speaker 1: was cool. UM. I want to go ahead and update
Speaker 1: you guys on our Patreon account. UM. And for those
Speaker 1: of you who don't know and questions that we've been
Speaker 1: getting that I want to clear up. We have the
Speaker 1: Patreon account and which will be posting bonus um episodes,
Speaker 1: bonus footage, live footage, different things, depending on how much
Speaker 1: we're able to raise enough. Course, bringing more live shows
Speaker 1: to you guys UM later in the future. But these
Speaker 1: shows that you guys are listening to on wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to, are not going anywhere. We will still be
Speaker 1: dropping an episode every week for you guys, whether you
Speaker 1: listen to us on SoundCloud, iTunes, at heart Radio, We're
Speaker 1: still gonna be here. UM. What the Patreon does is
Speaker 1: it allows you guys to support us. Y'all know, we
Speaker 1: ain't getting no ads in real life. We ain't what
Speaker 1: you know, and those are all coming out of our pockets, um.
Speaker 1: And what we want to be able to do is
Speaker 1: provide video footage to you guys. We want to be
Speaker 1: able to provide you guys longer episodes, their bonus episodes,
Speaker 1: and so that's what Patreon allows us to do, UM,
Speaker 1: and you can go to that link. It's patreon dot
Speaker 1: com backslash Horrible Decisions UM. Also, I wanted to say
Speaker 1: I've had some people write me UM specifically in Orlando,
Speaker 1: I guess because we're from there, but I'm also someone
Speaker 1: in Atlanta as well, discussing doing live shows there. UM.
Speaker 1: According to our analytics, Atlanta is another big listen to. Actually,
Speaker 1: we posted should we do it in Atlanta and mad
Speaker 1: So if any of you, UM, I would like to
Speaker 1: finance our own shows so we can make this money, yeah,
Speaker 1: feel me. But if any of you guys know promoters
Speaker 1: or maybe venues that you would like to see Horrible
Speaker 1: Decisions at, or you know, you want to tag us
Speaker 1: with your promoter, hit us up UM with stuff about that,
Speaker 1: because I would love to do a show. We've actually
Speaker 1: been talking to a friend of ours, d Strong shout
Speaker 1: out to one or four point five in Orlando. It's
Speaker 1: a radio station. He wants to host our Orlando show,
Speaker 1: So he's trying to bring us out there. It ain't
Speaker 1: gonna be no time soon. Why do you even say
Speaker 1: that we ain't had this conversation. It ain't gonna be
Speaker 1: no time soon. Why I have seven classes next semester.
Speaker 1: On top of for those of you don't know, I
Speaker 1: work at an investment bank and which I work in
Speaker 1: the tax department, so we have a busy season coming up.
Speaker 1: But bit you were cool with Atlanta. Oh no, I
Speaker 1: was gonna tell you, We're not doing it till after
Speaker 1: tax seasons as well. Maybe May, maybe, maybe summertime. I'm
Speaker 1: not jo could do one if you can fly out
Speaker 1: for some dictor and taxis you fly out for some
Speaker 1: money and I didn't fly out for last tax season? Okay,
Speaker 1: well bet you Mike. No No anyways, guys, Yeah, so
Speaker 1: another one ain't coming out time A bitch with stress
Speaker 1: and what were you gonna say? Thanks for Patreon. Not
Speaker 1: only thanks for Patreon, I want to thank you guys
Speaker 1: so much for leaving UM comments on our iTunes reviews.
Speaker 1: Me and Wheezy actually read them and they like fucking
Speaker 1: touch our hearts um and real quick, I want to
Speaker 1: give a shout out UM. Today I got a tweet
Speaker 1: from Jesse. Jesse is abelt five six, she said, she said,
Speaker 1: attending a sexual empowerment session at n S e C
Speaker 1: seventeen and was able to share how I felt empowered
Speaker 1: listening to horrible decisions with full court, pumps Um and Wheezy.
Speaker 1: She also said, I love how you to keep it
Speaker 1: real and talk about topics that many don't feel comfortable doing,
Speaker 1: and that you also advocate for safe sex as well
Speaker 1: as being comfortable with your own sexuality and your needs
Speaker 1: as a sexual being. UM so shout out, Jesse. I
Speaker 1: appreciate that, um a lot. Thank you so very much.
Speaker 1: Not until the show did I realize, like people, nobody
Speaker 1: came up to us, as some said, thanks for bringing
Speaker 1: to hose out, but well, no one came up to us,
Speaker 1: and like fu blah blah blah. They were just like
Speaker 1: you touched me in this way and blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what, Like that ship really touched
Speaker 1: my heart. And it's funny because I'm just sitting here
Speaker 1: looking across from the bananas by our mouth, and I
Speaker 1: just could not believe so many women spoke just that way.
Speaker 1: Everybody was just so eloquent and beautiful and fucking I
Speaker 1: just really thought there's gonna be some ratchet holes because
Speaker 1: we are classy, ratchy. And it's so crazy because my
Speaker 1: my coworkers even came to me and said, um, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. The men that came out to your
Speaker 1: live show. We're dressed so well. Hold on, let me
Speaker 1: say one other thing that people shocked me up before
Speaker 1: we go get our next guest for next week's episode.
Speaker 1: There was a swinger couple that's been writing us and
Speaker 1: we you asked her husband, her boyfriend, how are you
Speaker 1: okay with her sleeping with other men? How does it
Speaker 1: make you feel? Blah blah, And I was waiting for
Speaker 1: a nick to say something and they listened some in
Speaker 1: the corner his head the whole guy. Everybody was like,
Speaker 1: who was that guy who was like you? But it
Speaker 1: was hot hope, But no one said anything. No one
Speaker 1: judged him. And I thought some niggas was gonna be funny.
Speaker 1: And I feel like everybody is just on the same
Speaker 1: level and respects different kinks. And that's one thing that
Speaker 1: I learned from this. And some girls were like, oh
Speaker 1: my god. I felt like everybody knew each other because
Speaker 1: y'all was a nasty y'all was making friends with each other. Ship.
Speaker 1: I loved it. It was it was definitely it was
Speaker 1: super dope. Are you looking for something homemail? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: we'll go ahead, and we don't have time for homemail.
Speaker 1: We actually send some questions and y'all, yeah, if you
Speaker 1: guys can go ahead and too many of back, Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you go ahead and send us, um your homemail.
Speaker 1: We're not gonna do it this episode, but we're gonna
Speaker 1: do it an next episode, y'all. Um. I think we
Speaker 1: did good with catching them up on everything, but um,
Speaker 1: you guys can send us your homemail at Horrible Decisions
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Um, what's happening is a lot
Speaker 1: of you guys are sending us homemail to our d
Speaker 1: M s. But because we post so much and you
Speaker 1: guys love us, y'all are also sending us memes and
Speaker 1: commenting on our I G stories and we're not being
Speaker 1: able to find the homemail. So if you guys can
Speaker 1: please send homemail to our Gmail, it would be great. Um,
Speaker 1: but this has been you know, this has been awesome,
Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that we were able to catch
Speaker 1: up with you guys. And um, yeah, this has been
Speaker 1: yet another episode of Horrible Decisions. Right by and you
Speaker 1: eat and she my money. I want your money. I
Speaker 1: want my money, I want your money, my money, I
Speaker 1: want your money. I want my money. I want your money.
Speaker 1: Once upon a time, not long ago, I was a
Speaker 1: hop and I'm a meeting that I won't take you
Speaker 1: back because I did this ship. I was a hop
Speaker 1: and I'm a meeting that I won't take it back
Speaker 1: because I did this ship. I was a hot my money,
Speaker 1: I want your money. I want my money. I want
Speaker 1: your money, my money, I want your money. I want
Speaker 1: my money. I want your money. If I want, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna fuck him. But if he ain't got a buck,
Speaker 1: I won't cover. It's been the honeyed on me. It
Speaker 1: ain't nothing I wanted double D. So he stuck him
Speaker 1: back to the point, is it some cash in this place?
Speaker 1: If it is, I probably stick the SATs in your face.
Speaker 1: Turned around. Then he asked about the taste he fell
Speaker 1: in love like the passion and drag. But I fuck
Speaker 1: him though, and I don't even care if his mother know.
Speaker 1: It's about that paper. On another note, and not fake
Speaker 1: a baby like the rubber broke. And once upon a time,
Speaker 1: not long ago, I was a home and I'm a
Speaker 1: meeting that I won't take you back because I did
Speaker 1: this ship. I was a hop and I'm a meeting
Speaker 1: that I won't take it back because I did this ship.
Speaker 1: I was a hot, mo money. I want your money.
Speaker 1: I want my money. I want your money, my money,
Speaker 1: I want your money. I want more money. This is
Speaker 1: for all my house, all my goal, digging house money,
Speaker 1: get in love my house, about the riches. All my
Speaker 1: house broke me. This don't do though, And I'm a
Speaker 1: meeting that I beat. Then it was been the best
Speaker 1: send a plick tenor strip, independent check, turn a bit
Speaker 1: in the Allen the generate, Yeah contrary, I'm the blonde
Speaker 1: bomb scare. I'm wearing on top, got a lot on
Speaker 1: near true diarmulin where I found my hair. If you
Speaker 1: ain't buying it from down around hair, the old double
Speaker 1: L A R S y'all, motherfucker's gonna pack the old
Speaker 1: double L A R s'all motherfucker's don't pay. Once upon
Speaker 1: a time, not long ago, I was a hop and
Speaker 1: I'm a meeting that I won't take you back because
Speaker 1: I did this ship. I was a hot and I'm
Speaker 1: a meeting that I won't take it back because I
Speaker 1: did this ship. I was a hot My money, I
Speaker 1: want your money. I want my money. I want your money,
Speaker 1: my money. I want your money. I want my money.