Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: And that's how we start the show with a bottle
Speaker 1: of champagne being popped. Chris Harrison coming to you on
Speaker 1: the road today from the Rosewood in Montecito, California. That's
Speaker 1: the bougie people's way of saying, I'm in Santa Barbara.
Speaker 1: But if you really want to be boogie, you say
Speaker 1: you're in Montecito. But we're at the Rosewood, Motcito, and
Speaker 1: I have very good reason to be here. A lot
Speaker 1: of friends are with me, and I have a very
Speaker 1: special show today because several of my old school friends,
Speaker 1: not old friend, not old people, just old school friends
Speaker 1: are going to be joining me on the show today.
Speaker 1: And one is sitting right here with a big fat
Speaker 1: rock on her finger and a big smile on her face.
Speaker 2: Claire Crawley, Hello, it's been a minute.
Speaker 1: It has been a minute for you and I. You
Speaker 1: have your hand on the inside of a man's thigh.
Speaker 1: I hope this is your new husband, Ryan.
Speaker 2: This is my husband, Ryan. And the best thing about
Speaker 2: it is I'm re learning everything about relationships because for
Speaker 2: the longest time didn't really have the best I guess.
Speaker 1: How do.
Speaker 2: I say, I didn't really know how relationships should go
Speaker 2: the right way, but this guy is always by my side.
Speaker 1: Way, I didn't lead you down a good path. Is
Speaker 1: that what you're saying.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say you didn't. I would say it just
Speaker 2: was what was. And I will tell you this too,
Speaker 2: that was the right path because if I didn't do
Speaker 2: what I did and go through everything that I went through,
Speaker 2: I would have never met him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you wouldn't be uh, clearhead and healthy and ready
Speaker 1: to do this. And I always say, you know, you
Speaker 1: got to go through the crazy stuff to realize what's
Speaker 1: great when you find it exactly. And I mean, as
Speaker 1: I pumped this guy up, I'm just going to assume
Speaker 1: he's great.
Speaker 2: He's he's not great, he's more than amazing, Like he's
Speaker 2: just he's everything.
Speaker 1: Like good kisser, generous, lover, the best, the best. He's like,
Speaker 1: why am I sitting here listening to this? But okay,
Speaker 1: let's back up, because I don't know anything about the
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously I know you married, Yeah, and congratulations
Speaker 1: to both of you. I first of all could not
Speaker 1: be happier for you. I love you, adore you. We
Speaker 1: did go through it several times we did it didn't
Speaker 1: work out, and I'm glad. When I saw the look
Speaker 1: on your face, I go, that's it. She's happy. She
Speaker 1: actually did find it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I can. I feel it deep, just deep
Speaker 2: in my soul, and it's it's pure happiness. But it's
Speaker 2: also so much calmness that it's security, it's stable, it's genuine,
Speaker 2: reciprocated love that I've never felt before. How long get
Speaker 2: married February first?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, was it big? Small? What was it?
Speaker 2: The tiny? Sweating? Okay, so in the best way possible.
Speaker 1: So I'm taking notes because I got one coming up,
Speaker 1: so kind of taking notes on weddings do's and don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we actually planned on I wanted to get
Speaker 2: married in Mexico, and we both found this spot in Mexico.
Speaker 2: Were like, this is our spot. We're gonna have this
Speaker 2: big celebration. You know, I've been waiting forever for, you know,
Speaker 2: to get married. And then I also I thought, you know,
Speaker 2: unfortunately my mom is still sick and has dementia, and
Speaker 2: so she's in the late late stages of it right now.
Speaker 2: So I thought, I thought this was back in like December,
Speaker 2: and I thought, what if she does I mean, what
Speaker 2: are the odds. I always wanted to get married June
Speaker 2: twenty first, and I thought, what if she does it.
Speaker 2: It was summer solstice, okay, but I was like, what
Speaker 2: if she doesn't make it to June twenty first, And
Speaker 2: she ended up getting really sick in end of January,
Speaker 2: and so I said, let's have a mini little wedding
Speaker 2: because she won't be able to make it to Mexico anyway,
Speaker 2: Let's have a mini little wedding just for her, a
Speaker 2: special little one for us for her. We were almost
Speaker 2: going to like stage just this tiny little wedding for her,
Speaker 2: for her to be there, and so we ended up
Speaker 2: making this tiny little wedding and it was just his
Speaker 2: two daughters, his parents, and then it was going to
Speaker 2: be my best friend and my mom and not even
Speaker 2: my sisters were coming, Like we wanted to make it
Speaker 2: tiny and everybody who's going to come to the big wedding.
Speaker 2: But my mom ended up the day before getting really
Speaker 2: really sick and she wasn't able to make it. But
Speaker 2: she's okay still, but she was just really sick at
Speaker 2: the time. You couldn't leave the nursing home, and so
Speaker 2: we ended up just it was the most perfect wedding though.
Speaker 2: Ryan by nature is an event planner, and so he
Speaker 2: planned the whole wedding. I was like kind of frozen
Speaker 2: with like, what do we do? You know, very last
Speaker 2: minute stuff, and I was so worried about my mom.
Speaker 2: But he took the reins. He planned everything, and it
Speaker 2: ended up being like we had a little ceremony, We
Speaker 2: had the best fouls to each other, super personal, and
Speaker 2: then it was in the spot that we first had
Speaker 2: our first kiss, so it was it was just the greatest,
Speaker 2: greatest little spot. And then afterwards we went to In
Speaker 2: and out Burger, got some burgers, and then we went
Speaker 2: in our outfits and everything and went and saw my
Speaker 2: mom and kind of shared. So turns out we're not
Speaker 2: having the June twenty first wedding because that was everything
Speaker 2: I've ever dreamed of.
Speaker 1: He sounded perfect in and out. What else do you need?
Speaker 2: True? Exactly, I'm not trying to deal I've always said
Speaker 2: this too, like I'm not trying to deal with Aunt
Speaker 2: Kathy is sitting next to her divorce husband. It's next
Speaker 2: to the mailman that I don't know, and.
Speaker 1: It becomes not about you, It's all about everybody else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't even know.
Speaker 1: Give me the give me the you know cliffs notes
Speaker 1: version of this.
Speaker 2: All meet, We met, Okay, he slid into my DMS.
Speaker 1: Love it, that's the truth. Yes, how all good relationships.
Speaker 1: That's how my relationships started.
Speaker 2: It happens that way.
Speaker 1: Casual.
Speaker 2: It's casual though, and then we became friends. It was
Speaker 2: initially just a friendship, but I noticed every time he
Speaker 2: would comment or say things to me, and I'd comment
Speaker 2: on his stuff. But it was just it was coming
Speaker 2: from a kind place. It wasn't like, oh, you want
Speaker 2: to hook, let's go out, or it wasn't trying to
Speaker 2: be sleazy. He just was like nudes totally. It was
Speaker 2: nothing of send news, nothing like that. It was very
Speaker 2: much like, well, the long game. He played the long game.
Speaker 1: How long did did he allow you to stay in
Speaker 1: DMS before he moved it out of DMS? Said give
Speaker 1: me your number, let's go out.
Speaker 2: How long it it was? It was a long time,
Speaker 2: I tell you. So. We were friends for a really
Speaker 2: long time. It was nice for nine months, yeah, and
Speaker 2: then it was it was probably Yeah, it was probably
Speaker 2: two weeks after my last relationship ended, and I was
Speaker 2: I don't think I had gotten out of bed for
Speaker 2: two weeks when that relationship ended, and Ryan was the
Speaker 2: one who called me and he said, Hey, I'm coming
Speaker 2: through town. Let me take you to a tee to
Speaker 2: grab a tea. And I had remembered telling him like,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing good, like things aren't good right now,
Speaker 2: I have nothing to give, and I don't certainly don't
Speaker 2: want to go talk to a guy, you know.
Speaker 1: It just wasn't the energy for it, exactly.
Speaker 2: And he was like, no, let's go for a tea.
Speaker 1: And so I love that he went for a tea.
Speaker 1: That's I'm a total tea guy. I love that both
Speaker 1: t people to hell with coffee exactly. Sorry for any
Speaker 1: coffee sponsors, but I'm a tea guy such.
Speaker 2: A tea girl too. So we ended up going and
Speaker 2: I remember just smiling. He was sitting there just staring
Speaker 2: at me and talking and so engaged and generally interested
Speaker 2: in our conversation. And I just was smiling so big
Speaker 2: the whole time and loving it and loving our conversation
Speaker 2: and laughing, and I was like, this is the first
Speaker 2: time I hadn't thought about my ex or anything crossed
Speaker 2: my mind or anything. It was like, I'm so into
Speaker 2: this moment and he was at present too. And even
Speaker 2: after that though, I said, I'm hot off this relationship.
Speaker 2: I'm certainly not ready for anything, and he hung around
Speaker 2: for a while.
Speaker 1: How long until that first kiss?
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't remember.
Speaker 1: He first, he tells the stuff who went in for
Speaker 1: the first kiss.
Speaker 2: It was him for sure, and I'm glad he did, because, yeah,
Speaker 2: it was our fourth.
Speaker 1: Day because Elsie for me, she Elsie kissed me first.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's my normal em O.
Speaker 1: But the good because I didn't give an ultimatum. But
Speaker 1: what I said was, are we really going to do this?
Speaker 1: Because we had this long talk because I could tell
Speaker 1: I really like this girl, but I knew it meant
Speaker 1: a lot to her career. Do you want? And I
Speaker 1: was like, do you want to do this? Yeah, because
Speaker 1: it's going to be tough for you and the things
Speaker 1: you might have to deal with. And then that she
Speaker 1: went in for the I'm.
Speaker 2: Not waiting any loss.
Speaker 1: We're doing this, were doing this.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's the best.
Speaker 1: It was the best.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean Ryan. One thing that Ryan does that
Speaker 2: is amazing is that he since even we were friends,
Speaker 2: he's brought a lot of calmness into my life and
Speaker 2: very you can use exactly. And what that's done is
Speaker 2: I realized, and I'm sure you've seen and most of
Speaker 2: America has seen the reactive side of me and the
Speaker 2: protective and defensive side of me, which is what I
Speaker 2: felt like I had to do for so many years
Speaker 2: because I felt like I'm the one who has my back,
Speaker 2: I'm the one who's looking out for me. But with Ryan,
Speaker 2: I knew he didn't have I mean, I just felt
Speaker 2: it from the get go. He had the best of
Speaker 2: intentions with me and had my heart in the forefront
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: Someone who finally came into your life with no ulterior
Speaker 1: motives just really wanted to be a.
Speaker 2: Good Yeah, And that put down my guard more than
Speaker 2: it's I mean, it completely put down my guard, even
Speaker 2: just in the very beginning, just as friends like my
Speaker 2: guard was down, and it brought out the feminine in me,
Speaker 2: which I'm even my family is like, You're so much
Speaker 2: more calm, You're so much more softer, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I feel like I can be I feel like I'm
Speaker 2: safe now. It's a good feeling.
Speaker 1: I love that you get. Where do you all live?
Speaker 2: Lafayette Bay Area over in the Bay area.
Speaker 1: So you moved? Is that up or down from you?
Speaker 1: Where were you?
Speaker 2: It's I believe it's doomed down to the sideways. Yeah, sideways.
Speaker 1: So now you're in So you're in the Bay Area, yep,
Speaker 1: living your life. You are now a step mom.
Speaker 2: I'm a step mom.
Speaker 1: So how old are the are the girls?
Speaker 2: Nine and freshly twelve?
Speaker 1: Okay? So Ryan is a nine and a twelve year old?
Speaker 2: Yep?
Speaker 1: So they're about to leave planet Earth on a rocket
Speaker 1: ship about to about is the twelve year old already there?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Absolutely, the way it happens around that twelve thirteen, fourteen,
Speaker 1: depending on when they kind of come of age. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: that is a it's a difficult time. And so to
Speaker 1: come into someone's life at that very difficult time. There
Speaker 1: are a lot of hormones, a lot of chemicals raging.
Speaker 1: How are you doing with that?
Speaker 2: It ebbs and flows. Yeah, I would say the most
Speaker 2: of the time. It's been amazing because these two little
Speaker 2: girls are the sweetest things. And one of the best
Speaker 2: gifts I've been given is that they were raised just
Speaker 2: so loving and Ryan he's such a good hands on
Speaker 2: dad to them and like very like loves on them.
Speaker 2: Hugs on them all the time, and so they're always
Speaker 2: hanging on me and holding my hand and just the
Speaker 2: sweetest things ever. So it's it's been easy in that aspect.
Speaker 2: But I will say, just being a stepmom, it's just
Speaker 2: I mean, you can insert any children in there, being
Speaker 2: a step mom, it's nobody prepares you for that. There's
Speaker 2: no way to prepare for that.
Speaker 1: Very difficult, I know. I mean, obviously Lauren, I give
Speaker 1: her all the credit in the world, who came into
Speaker 1: my life with my two children a little bit older,
Speaker 1: but still like it's something I've never had to do,
Speaker 1: and so it was hard to even help. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I tried, but it's not something you can really do,
Speaker 1: Like Ryan can't do that for you. It's a path
Speaker 1: you have to walk and figure out. And it's different
Speaker 1: for every child, and we have to deal with our
Speaker 1: exes and all of it, and it's a lot.
Speaker 2: It's a lot, and there's times where we get into it,
Speaker 2: and if I'm being honest, there's times where we get
Speaker 2: into it where I say, it's not arguments or anything,
Speaker 2: it's impossible not to yeah, but exactly, but where it's
Speaker 2: like I have to know that for the next ten years,
Speaker 2: your ex is a part of my everyday life. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And that's not a choice. It's a choice he made.
Speaker 2: It's not a choice I made. But I said, it
Speaker 2: is a choice that I'm choosing to be in this relationship.
Speaker 2: And he knows that. And I don't have to remind
Speaker 2: him of that all the time. He knows that. And
Speaker 2: that's step mommy. I think is hard in general because
Speaker 2: it's like you don't get to like raise them and
Speaker 2: ease into parenthood.
Speaker 1: Definitely, you're not as appreciated, you're not as Yeah.
Speaker 2: But even that, like there. I told the girls the
Speaker 2: other day they were kind of being a little difficult,
Speaker 2: and I said, just as kids are. And I said,
Speaker 2: I looked at him and I said, you know, I'm
Speaker 2: here to love you guys, and I'm not going to
Speaker 2: do this perfect. I'm new to this whole thing. I
Speaker 2: didn't raise you, guys, but I'll give you everything I
Speaker 2: have in the best way possible. So and they just
Speaker 2: kind of like, you're sweet about it and everything else.
Speaker 1: They're only going to get so deep totally, but it
Speaker 1: is it's something that you know. Again, I empathize with
Speaker 1: Lauren because she goes through this and she had to
Speaker 1: get to know my ex, and she sees what I
Speaker 1: never I've never met her ex. I'll never meet her ex.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't have to. It's a blessing that you
Speaker 2: don't have to.
Speaker 1: But she has to deal with that all the time.
Speaker 1: When we're moving into college, we're moving out of college, Christmas, birthdays,
Speaker 1: you know, we're together a lot. Yeah, and so it
Speaker 1: is a difficult path to walk, and so kudos to you.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure Ryan is very appreciative of that, Like
Speaker 1: steps you're taking to do that trying.
Speaker 2: I'm trying. Nobody. There's no handbook on it. I guess
Speaker 2: if Lauren's name can teach this, I would appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Now do you I know it's early days, but do
Speaker 1: you think you guys will have more kids? Do you
Speaker 1: want kids? Oh?
Speaker 2: My gosh, I'll tell you what, Chris. The last time
Speaker 2: we talked, would you remember I got crucified for being
Speaker 2: like baby? Yeah, my whole life, I've always wanted babies,
Speaker 2: and I don't know why I got so crucified for that,
Speaker 2: just as like goals is babies, you know, Like, here's
Speaker 2: the thing though, too, Number one, I consider this my
Speaker 2: step girls, my babies you know, and if that's what's
Speaker 2: in the plan, I'm super happy with that. I just
Speaker 2: love mom and I love being in that role, and
Speaker 2: it makes you feel good to take care of children,
Speaker 2: and it's something I've always wanted. What that looks like
Speaker 2: in the future, I think it's something we'd probably most
Speaker 2: likely keep private, since I did get crucified for even
Speaker 2: staying the word babies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, yeah, someone wants to be a mom.
Speaker 2: Totally, God forgive you forbid. You love babies.
Speaker 1: But there's no worse thing in the world right now,
Speaker 1: total than wanting to be a good mom.
Speaker 2: I know, right, you would think, But no, I don't know.
Speaker 2: We'll see. It's telling them. I'm like, if it happens
Speaker 2: or if this is the thing for us, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: pull Para Siltan for sure. Just one day you'll see
Speaker 2: me with the baby.
Speaker 1: Whoa the hell did that happen?
Speaker 2: Exactly like World meet the baby? Who knows? We'll see.
Speaker 2: And here's the thing too, though, is that I'm forty two.
Speaker 2: I don't know it could look like anything, to be honest, like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, we'll see, I guess TBD.
Speaker 1: We both went through some very tumultuous times. Yeah, yours
Speaker 1: was essentially you Antasia kind of the last season that
Speaker 1: I went through, the last Bachelorette. It was just it
Speaker 1: was a crazy time then and then post for both
Speaker 1: of us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, really it really was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my gosh, both of our lives kind of
Speaker 1: blew up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like forever ago. But man, it's almost
Speaker 2: like are we blocking I sometimes block it out of
Speaker 2: my mind. It was pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was a wild time.
Speaker 1: Well, and unfortunately, I think too, I felt bad because
Speaker 1: I felt like I couldn't really be there for you.
Speaker 1: We didn't stay in as close a touch as I
Speaker 1: normally would have with a former bachelorette or whatever going
Speaker 1: through everything because of my crap and everything I was
Speaker 1: going through. Yeah, obviously I didn't reach out to people,
Speaker 1: and I didn't really do. I didn't keep those relationships
Speaker 1: as close as I normally would. I felt like I
Speaker 1: kind of abandoned you to a certain degree where you
Speaker 1: were going through all your No.
Speaker 2: You reached out to though, too, and we were both
Speaker 2: going through it. But I think it's I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's a tough position to be in. I was thinking
Speaker 2: about it with you because it's like, you know so
Speaker 2: much behind the scenes stuff, and there's so many questions
Speaker 2: that I had where it was like, ooh, I want
Speaker 2: to ask him so bad, but then it's like, does
Speaker 2: he have the show's loyalty? Does he have you know?
Speaker 2: Because I think there look at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: I think there's two different agendas and well, I mean
Speaker 2: no where you fall.
Speaker 1: Honestly, for me, it was both and that's part of
Speaker 1: that was part of the friction of me being on
Speaker 1: the show, and partly why things happen the way they
Speaker 1: did is because I didn't always tote the company line.
Speaker 1: I didn't always do what they wanted me to do,
Speaker 1: which I got some knockdown, drag out fights with people
Speaker 1: because they would ask me to do something or say
Speaker 1: something going to Claire and do this, and I would say, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not that horrible of a human being. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do that to her. I know where she
Speaker 1: is mentally right now and emotionally. And so it worked
Speaker 1: out because I felt like I could always be the
Speaker 1: voice of reason and say, Okay, what if we did this,
Speaker 1: or I know what you're trying to get to, how
Speaker 1: about we do it this way, and a lot of
Speaker 1: times it worked out, yeah, because cooler heads would prevail,
Speaker 1: and there was a certain someone who wasn't on set
Speaker 1: with us most of the time, so it really helped.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so because again I think most of the producers
Speaker 1: were along those same lines as well. We had a
Speaker 1: job to do, but we don't need to ruin this
Speaker 1: person's life, yeah, you know, even though sometimes we would anyway.
Speaker 2: I do remember too. I mean there were so many,
Speaker 2: so many times where you did come to me and
Speaker 2: you it was almost like I remember there would be
Speaker 2: even back in the One Pablo days where you were like, hey,
Speaker 2: look out for yourself.
Speaker 1: Then I was totally on your side. And I remember
Speaker 1: I pulled you aside in Vietnam because I went and
Speaker 1: had a serious talk with One Pablo. Yeah, and I said, hey, man,
Speaker 1: I just heard that conversation you had with Claire. It
Speaker 1: was not great. You kind of put all the onus
Speaker 1: on her and the blame on her for something you
Speaker 1: both did. It's not going to be a good look.
Speaker 1: And I always kind of gave him the benefit of doubt.
Speaker 1: He's from Venezuela and there was that language barrier, and
Speaker 1: I said, oh, I get it you. Maybe you don't
Speaker 1: understand this is not going to play well for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he went into a third person and started referring
Speaker 1: to himself and says, you know you want one, Bablo,
Speaker 1: you get one, Bablo. And I was like, oh God,
Speaker 1: So I remember pulling you aside in Vietnam and Saint Clair.
Speaker 1: Just get out, get out of this. I'm glad you
Speaker 1: did could look out and this is not a good situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm glad you did, because that was in the
Speaker 2: time for myself where I was still in the very
Speaker 2: beginning healing stages of dealing with I guess I don't
Speaker 2: know what the right word is, but I didn't know
Speaker 2: how to look out for myself. I didn't know what
Speaker 2: healthy relationships look like, and I didn't know what the
Speaker 2: right thing to do was. And to have somebody like
Speaker 2: you to reach out to be like, no, this is
Speaker 2: not normal.
Speaker 1: And that's something that the producers knew. I did that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: off camera, they would have killed me totally.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, oh.
Speaker 1: You just torched this whole dynamic in this scene. But
Speaker 1: when I see a human being, I'm like, no, I
Speaker 1: don't care. Yeah, I'm going to react as a as
Speaker 1: a dad, as a as a friend. First, because I
Speaker 1: still think you can make great TV and make great
Speaker 1: relationship TV. Setting someone up complete failure.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, though, I wish he's lucky Claire now healed.
Speaker 2: Claire didn't handle him.
Speaker 1: Back then, it would have been a knockdown dragon.
Speaker 2: It would have been a whole different ball game.
Speaker 1: Someone may have drowned in that pool.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, he would have been rocking himself in the corner crying.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1: What other questions do you have?
Speaker 2: You really want me to ask him? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean so I'll see if I can answer him.
Speaker 2: Okay, because I don't know what your line is, what
Speaker 2: you can and can't talk right, I don't either.
Speaker 1: We'll see, We'll find we'll find out.
Speaker 2: I want to know because I remember sitting in the
Speaker 2: living room in Pump Springs and when you were like,
Speaker 2: what's the situation here? What's going on? And I remember thinking,
Speaker 2: there are so many previous bachelorettes that new night one
Speaker 2: who they wanted to pick and who they wanted to
Speaker 2: end up with. What was different do you think from
Speaker 2: my situation? Because I remember sitting there talking with you
Speaker 2: in the living room, going I'll see it through to
Speaker 2: the end. I'll stay to the end. I'll do my
Speaker 2: due diligence and be here. I signed up for this.
Speaker 2: I knew what I want to do.
Speaker 1: No one was ever as demonstrative as you were. Really,
Speaker 1: no one was ever as sure. When that person stepped
Speaker 1: out of the limo and you, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you remember, you walked over to me and you had
Speaker 1: this smile on your face. You're like, it's done. It's over. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's cute, and it's not really over. And then you're like, no,
Speaker 1: it's over. Yeah. I remember. I forget who was your handler?
Speaker 1: Who was your producer, because it was Caitlin Maybe no,
Speaker 1: because it was you me and whoever your handler was
Speaker 1: Jullia Juliet. Yeah, oh my gosh. And so we were
Speaker 1: sitting there later in that little room and you had
Speaker 1: to smile and you were like, no, no, that we
Speaker 1: were off camera. You said, it's I'm done.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing, though, Chris. When I was chosen
Speaker 2: as the bachelorette, I was thirty nine years old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was different.
Speaker 2: I was a woman who knew what I wanted and
Speaker 2: I told you all that since the get.
Speaker 1: Go So here's where I felt like my job was
Speaker 1: for you as a friend at that moment. I'm going
Speaker 1: to push you and be devil's advocate. Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: care if you do this again, and I will help
Speaker 1: and facilitate this, and we made it happen. I was
Speaker 1: just going to push you as hard as I could
Speaker 1: to make sure that's really what you wanted to do
Speaker 1: before you gave up this opportunity to be the bachelorette,
Speaker 1: because it also kind of took that away from you.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, don't you want to be the bachgeorette too?
Speaker 2: But I remember saying I'll stay. I'll see this through
Speaker 2: that yet, right, I remember saying that.
Speaker 1: But we couldn't do it. It was it was over. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I think we went on one more date and
Speaker 1: you were just so uninterested. You were so out of it.
Speaker 2: It was I think here's the thing too, though I
Speaker 2: don't know, even to this day, as much as I
Speaker 2: adore these men, yeah, I still don't think there's a
Speaker 2: man in there that I would have chosen.
Speaker 1: No, I think it was the best thing for you
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 2: I got that time.
Speaker 1: You know. It's funny because you got a little crap
Speaker 1: for it, and I'm like, yeah, I never understood that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, if the whole purpose was to meet somebody,
Speaker 1: and if you do totally, who cares if it's night
Speaker 1: one whatever. I mean, I never had a problem with
Speaker 1: that and defended you on that, and I just wanted
Speaker 1: to make sure is this really what you want to
Speaker 1: do and if so, I'll move heaven and earth to
Speaker 1: make it happen, which we did and it was not
Speaker 1: easy to do in the pandemic and then lockdown to
Speaker 1: get Neil Lane out there.
Speaker 2: It's true, I know, and I still think about it
Speaker 2: to this day and I'm like, I go back and
Speaker 2: forth between it, but I still think I'm okay with
Speaker 2: disappointing other people to not disappoint myself, And that's what
Speaker 2: I wanted at the time.
Speaker 1: I wish I could do that. That's such a healthy
Speaker 1: thing to say. Is I care way too much about
Speaker 1: what other people think?
Speaker 2: I mean, I cared at.
Speaker 1: After obviously what I went through, and you see the
Speaker 1: truth behind a lot of people and where they stand.
Speaker 1: I was I was just like, you know, I care
Speaker 1: too much and which made me a good host, makes
Speaker 1: you human, and it makes you a good dad. It
Speaker 1: makes you a good host, just but it just kind
Speaker 1: of it can set you up for disappointment failure sometimes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think honestly, it would have put me
Speaker 2: in the ground if I cared that much. And it
Speaker 2: did create a lot of anxiety. There was a lot
Speaker 2: of mental health stuff I did go through post show,
Speaker 2: But all the stuff that I've gone through mental health wise,
Speaker 2: I've chosen how to rise from that myself and kind
Speaker 2: of like what path I want to take from that?
Speaker 2: And I've always thought I'm going to be better because
Speaker 2: of what I've gone through.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the path you're on now. Yeah, you're married, yep,
Speaker 1: you're happy, yep, and life is good and I am
Speaker 1: you looked I saw you. I was We're here at
Speaker 1: the Rosewood Hotel again in Mona, Zito. Anyway, I was
Speaker 1: walking across the courtyard and I saw You're the first
Speaker 1: person I saw when I got here, and you just
Speaker 1: had this glow about you and this And I love
Speaker 1: Ryan because he's got this. He seems like just an
Speaker 1: easy going dude. Is he's unflappable.
Speaker 2: Yep, calms me down.
Speaker 1: Someday we'll get him on the podcast one day.
Speaker 2: He'll do it. Though he'll do it. He's actually as
Speaker 2: quiet as he is. He's such a good talker. No,
Speaker 2: as soon as we love him.
Speaker 1: As soon as we're done and I press stop. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go grab some tequila.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, we're gonna put it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have a hell of a night. We're going
Speaker 1: to Young and we're gonna have a hell of a
Speaker 1: night because we have some other friends here. Ben Higgins
Speaker 1: is here, Ashley Ikenetti, the Firestones are here, Andrew and Evana.
Speaker 1: So we're all gonna go to the concert tonight. We're
Speaker 1: gonna have an absolute blast. We're gonna make some horrible decisions.
Speaker 1: This should be the show.
Speaker 2: Stand by.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here, thank you for having me,
Speaker 1: and thank you for just still being a friend. And
Speaker 1: I was so happy to give you a hug today.
Speaker 1: It's great to see you always.
Speaker 2: Always we're family.
Speaker 1: And Ryan, thank you so much for being a great
Speaker 1: interview today. My thanks to Claire Crawley. We really went
Speaker 1: through a wild time together, going through the lockdown and
Speaker 1: the pandemic and trying to shoot the show the way
Speaker 1: we did, and then her falling in love so quickly
Speaker 1: on the show and everything that happens subsequently. It's good
Speaker 1: to see her, and honestly, it's just good to see
Speaker 1: love and her eyes the way it is, and I'm
Speaker 1: so so happy for her. We have a lot more
Speaker 1: to come from Montecito, Santa Barbara, California. I have some
Speaker 1: good friends coming up next, but that's in the next episode.
Speaker 1: So for now, I'll say goodbye, thanks for tuning in,
Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you next time because we have
Speaker 1: a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and
Speaker 1: make sure to write us a review and leave us
Speaker 1: five stars. I'll talk to you next time.