1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: And that's how we start the show with a bottle 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: of champagne being popped. Chris Harrison coming to you on 4 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: the road today from the Rosewood in Montecito, California. That's 5 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: the bougie people's way of saying, I'm in Santa Barbara. 6 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 1: But if you really want to be boogie, you say 7 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: you're in Montecito. But we're at the Rosewood, Motcito, and 8 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: I have very good reason to be here. A lot 9 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,239 Speaker 1: of friends are with me, and I have a very 10 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 1: special show today because several of my old school friends, 11 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: not old friend, not old people, just old school friends 12 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: are going to be joining me on the show today. 13 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,480 Speaker 1: And one is sitting right here with a big fat 14 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 1: rock on her finger and a big smile on her face. 15 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 2: Claire Crawley, Hello, it's been a minute. 16 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: It has been a minute for you and I. You 17 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: have your hand on the inside of a man's thigh. 18 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: I hope this is your new husband, Ryan. 19 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 2: This is my husband, Ryan. And the best thing about 20 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 2: it is I'm re learning everything about relationships because for 21 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 2: the longest time didn't really have the best I guess. 22 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: How do. 23 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 2: I say, I didn't really know how relationships should go 24 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 2: the right way, but this guy is always by my side. 25 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: Way, I didn't lead you down a good path. Is 26 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: that what you're saying. 27 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 2: I wouldn't say you didn't. I would say it just 28 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 2: was what was. And I will tell you this too, 29 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 2: that was the right path because if I didn't do 30 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 2: what I did and go through everything that I went through, 31 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 2: I would have never met him. 32 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, you wouldn't be uh, clearhead and healthy and ready 33 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 1: to do this. And I always say, you know, you 34 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: got to go through the crazy stuff to realize what's 35 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: great when you find it exactly. And I mean, as 36 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: I pumped this guy up, I'm just going to assume 37 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:45,479 Speaker 1: he's great. 38 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 2: He's he's not great, he's more than amazing, Like he's 39 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 2: just he's everything. 40 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: Like good kisser, generous, lover, the best, the best. He's like, 41 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: why am I sitting here listening to this? But okay, 42 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: let's back up, because I don't know anything about the 43 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: I mean, obviously I know you married, Yeah, and congratulations 44 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: to both of you. I first of all could not 45 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 1: be happier for you. I love you, adore you. We 46 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: did go through it several times we did it didn't 47 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: work out, and I'm glad. When I saw the look 48 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: on your face, I go, that's it. She's happy. She 49 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: actually did find it. 50 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I can. I feel it deep, just deep 51 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,119 Speaker 2: in my soul, and it's it's pure happiness. But it's 52 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 2: also so much calmness that it's security, it's stable, it's genuine, 53 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 2: reciprocated love that I've never felt before. How long get 54 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 2: married February first? 55 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, was it big? Small? What was it? 56 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 2: The tiny? Sweating? Okay, so in the best way possible. 57 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: So I'm taking notes because I got one coming up, 58 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: so kind of taking notes on weddings do's and don't. 59 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. So we actually planned on I wanted to get 60 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 2: married in Mexico, and we both found this spot in Mexico. 61 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: Were like, this is our spot. We're gonna have this 62 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 2: big celebration. You know, I've been waiting forever for, you know, 63 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 2: to get married. And then I also I thought, you know, 64 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 2: unfortunately my mom is still sick and has dementia, and 65 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 2: so she's in the late late stages of it right now. 66 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 2: So I thought, I thought this was back in like December, 67 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 2: and I thought, what if she does I mean, what 68 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,959 Speaker 2: are the odds. I always wanted to get married June 69 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 2: twenty first, and I thought, what if she does it. 70 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: It was summer solstice, okay, but I was like, what 71 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,359 Speaker 2: if she doesn't make it to June twenty first, And 72 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 2: she ended up getting really sick in end of January, 73 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 2: and so I said, let's have a mini little wedding 74 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 2: because she won't be able to make it to Mexico anyway, 75 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 2: Let's have a mini little wedding just for her, a 76 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 2: special little one for us for her. We were almost 77 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 2: going to like stage just this tiny little wedding for her, 78 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 2: for her to be there, and so we ended up 79 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 2: making this tiny little wedding and it was just his 80 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: two daughters, his parents, and then it was going to 81 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 2: be my best friend and my mom and not even 82 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 2: my sisters were coming, Like we wanted to make it 83 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 2: tiny and everybody who's going to come to the big wedding. 84 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 2: But my mom ended up the day before getting really 85 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 2: really sick and she wasn't able to make it. But 86 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 2: she's okay still, but she was just really sick at 87 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 2: the time. You couldn't leave the nursing home, and so 88 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: we ended up just it was the most perfect wedding though. 89 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 2: Ryan by nature is an event planner, and so he 90 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 2: planned the whole wedding. I was like kind of frozen 91 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 2: with like, what do we do? You know, very last 92 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 2: minute stuff, and I was so worried about my mom. 93 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 2: But he took the reins. He planned everything, and it 94 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 2: ended up being like we had a little ceremony, We 95 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 2: had the best fouls to each other, super personal, and 96 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,720 Speaker 2: then it was in the spot that we first had 97 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,799 Speaker 2: our first kiss, so it was it was just the greatest, 98 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 2: greatest little spot. And then afterwards we went to In 99 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 2: and out Burger, got some burgers, and then we went 100 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 2: in our outfits and everything and went and saw my 101 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 2: mom and kind of shared. So turns out we're not 102 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 2: having the June twenty first wedding because that was everything 103 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 2: I've ever dreamed of. 104 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 1: He sounded perfect in and out. What else do you need? 105 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 2: True? Exactly, I'm not trying to deal I've always said 106 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,479 Speaker 2: this too, like I'm not trying to deal with Aunt 107 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,280 Speaker 2: Kathy is sitting next to her divorce husband. It's next 108 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 2: to the mailman that I don't know, and. 109 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 1: It becomes not about you, It's all about everybody else. 110 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't even know. 111 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: Give me the give me the you know cliffs notes 112 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: version of this. 113 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 2: All meet, We met, Okay, he slid into my DMS. 114 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: Love it, that's the truth. Yes, how all good relationships. 115 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: That's how my relationships started. 116 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 2: It happens that way. 117 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 1: Casual. 118 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 2: It's casual though, and then we became friends. It was 119 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 2: initially just a friendship, but I noticed every time he 120 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 2: would comment or say things to me, and I'd comment 121 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 2: on his stuff. But it was just it was coming 122 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 2: from a kind place. It wasn't like, oh, you want 123 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 2: to hook, let's go out, or it wasn't trying to 124 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,600 Speaker 2: be sleazy. He just was like nudes totally. It was 125 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 2: nothing of send news, nothing like that. It was very 126 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 2: much like, well, the long game. He played the long game. 127 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: How long did did he allow you to stay in 128 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: DMS before he moved it out of DMS? Said give 129 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: me your number, let's go out. 130 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 2: How long it it was? It was a long time, 131 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 2: I tell you. So. We were friends for a really 132 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 2: long time. It was nice for nine months, yeah, and 133 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,839 Speaker 2: then it was it was probably Yeah, it was probably 134 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,839 Speaker 2: two weeks after my last relationship ended, and I was 135 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,479 Speaker 2: I don't think I had gotten out of bed for 136 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 2: two weeks when that relationship ended, and Ryan was the 137 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 2: one who called me and he said, Hey, I'm coming 138 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,839 Speaker 2: through town. Let me take you to a tee to 139 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 2: grab a tea. And I had remembered telling him like, 140 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 2: I'm not doing good, like things aren't good right now, 141 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 2: I have nothing to give, and I don't certainly don't 142 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,919 Speaker 2: want to go talk to a guy, you know. 143 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: It just wasn't the energy for it, exactly. 144 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 2: And he was like, no, let's go for a tea. 145 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: And so I love that he went for a tea. 146 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: That's I'm a total tea guy. I love that both 147 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: t people to hell with coffee exactly. Sorry for any 148 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: coffee sponsors, but I'm a tea guy such. 149 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 2: A tea girl too. So we ended up going and 150 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 2: I remember just smiling. He was sitting there just staring 151 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 2: at me and talking and so engaged and generally interested 152 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 2: in our conversation. And I just was smiling so big 153 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 2: the whole time and loving it and loving our conversation 154 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 2: and laughing, and I was like, this is the first 155 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 2: time I hadn't thought about my ex or anything crossed 156 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 2: my mind or anything. It was like, I'm so into 157 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 2: this moment and he was at present too. And even 158 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 2: after that though, I said, I'm hot off this relationship. 159 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 2: I'm certainly not ready for anything, and he hung around 160 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 2: for a while. 161 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: How long until that first kiss? 162 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't remember. 163 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: He first, he tells the stuff who went in for 164 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: the first kiss. 165 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 2: It was him for sure, and I'm glad he did, because, yeah, 166 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 2: it was our fourth. 167 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: Day because Elsie for me, she Elsie kissed me first. 168 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 2: I feel like that's my normal em O. 169 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: But the good because I didn't give an ultimatum. But 170 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: what I said was, are we really going to do this? 171 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: Because we had this long talk because I could tell 172 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: I really like this girl, but I knew it meant 173 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 1: a lot to her career. Do you want? And I 174 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,239 Speaker 1: was like, do you want to do this? Yeah, because 175 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: it's going to be tough for you and the things 176 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: you might have to deal with. And then that she 177 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: went in for the I'm. 178 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 2: Not waiting any loss. 179 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: We're doing this, were doing this. 180 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 2: Oh, it's the best. 181 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: It was the best. 182 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean Ryan. One thing that Ryan does that 183 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 2: is amazing is that he since even we were friends, 184 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 2: he's brought a lot of calmness into my life and 185 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 2: very you can use exactly. And what that's done is 186 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 2: I realized, and I'm sure you've seen and most of 187 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 2: America has seen the reactive side of me and the 188 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 2: protective and defensive side of me, which is what I 189 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 2: felt like I had to do for so many years 190 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 2: because I felt like I'm the one who has my back, 191 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 2: I'm the one who's looking out for me. But with Ryan, 192 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 2: I knew he didn't have I mean, I just felt 193 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 2: it from the get go. He had the best of 194 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,800 Speaker 2: intentions with me and had my heart in the forefront 195 00:08:59,800 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 2: of it. 196 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: Someone who finally came into your life with no ulterior 197 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: motives just really wanted to be a. 198 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 2: Good Yeah, And that put down my guard more than 199 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 2: it's I mean, it completely put down my guard, even 200 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 2: just in the very beginning, just as friends like my 201 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 2: guard was down, and it brought out the feminine in me, 202 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 2: which I'm even my family is like, You're so much 203 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 2: more calm, You're so much more softer, and I'm like, 204 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 2: I feel like I can be I feel like I'm 205 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 2: safe now. It's a good feeling. 206 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:38,200 Speaker 1: I love that you get. Where do you all live? 207 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:42,199 Speaker 2: Lafayette Bay Area over in the Bay area. 208 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: So you moved? Is that up or down from you? 209 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 1: Where were you? 210 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 2: It's I believe it's doomed down to the sideways. Yeah, sideways. 211 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: So now you're in So you're in the Bay Area, yep, 212 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: living your life. You are now a step mom. 213 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 2: I'm a step mom. 214 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: So how old are the are the girls? 215 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 2: Nine and freshly twelve? 216 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,679 Speaker 1: Okay? So Ryan is a nine and a twelve year old? 217 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 2: Yep? 218 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 1: So they're about to leave planet Earth on a rocket 219 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 1: ship about to about is the twelve year old already there? 220 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 2: Yes? 221 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 1: Absolutely, the way it happens around that twelve thirteen, fourteen, 222 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: depending on when they kind of come of age. So, yeah, 223 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 1: that is a it's a difficult time. And so to 224 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: come into someone's life at that very difficult time. There 225 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 1: are a lot of hormones, a lot of chemicals raging. 226 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 1: How are you doing with that? 227 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 2: It ebbs and flows. Yeah, I would say the most 228 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 2: of the time. It's been amazing because these two little 229 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 2: girls are the sweetest things. And one of the best 230 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 2: gifts I've been given is that they were raised just 231 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 2: so loving and Ryan he's such a good hands on 232 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 2: dad to them and like very like loves on them. 233 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 2: Hugs on them all the time, and so they're always 234 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 2: hanging on me and holding my hand and just the 235 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 2: sweetest things ever. So it's it's been easy in that aspect. 236 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 2: But I will say, just being a stepmom, it's just 237 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 2: I mean, you can insert any children in there, being 238 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 2: a step mom, it's nobody prepares you for that. There's 239 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 2: no way to prepare for that. 240 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: Very difficult, I know. I mean, obviously Lauren, I give 241 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: her all the credit in the world, who came into 242 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: my life with my two children a little bit older, 243 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: but still like it's something I've never had to do, 244 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: and so it was hard to even help. Yeah, and 245 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,719 Speaker 1: I tried, but it's not something you can really do, 246 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: Like Ryan can't do that for you. It's a path 247 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 1: you have to walk and figure out. And it's different 248 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: for every child, and we have to deal with our 249 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 1: exes and all of it, and it's a lot. 250 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 2: It's a lot, and there's times where we get into it, 251 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 2: and if I'm being honest, there's times where we get 252 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 2: into it where I say, it's not arguments or anything, 253 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 2: it's impossible not to yeah, but exactly, but where it's 254 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 2: like I have to know that for the next ten years, 255 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,359 Speaker 2: your ex is a part of my everyday life. Yeah, 256 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,840 Speaker 2: And that's not a choice. It's a choice he made. 257 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 2: It's not a choice I made. But I said, it 258 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 2: is a choice that I'm choosing to be in this relationship. 259 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 2: And he knows that. And I don't have to remind 260 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 2: him of that all the time. He knows that. And 261 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 2: that's step mommy. I think is hard in general because 262 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 2: it's like you don't get to like raise them and 263 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 2: ease into parenthood. 264 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 1: Definitely, you're not as appreciated, you're not as Yeah. 265 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 2: But even that, like there. I told the girls the 266 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 2: other day they were kind of being a little difficult, 267 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 2: and I said, just as kids are. And I said, 268 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,319 Speaker 2: I looked at him and I said, you know, I'm 269 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 2: here to love you guys, and I'm not going to 270 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 2: do this perfect. I'm new to this whole thing. I 271 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 2: didn't raise you, guys, but I'll give you everything I 272 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,440 Speaker 2: have in the best way possible. So and they just 273 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 2: kind of like, you're sweet about it and everything else. 274 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,719 Speaker 1: They're only going to get so deep totally, but it 275 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: is it's something that you know. Again, I empathize with 276 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: Lauren because she goes through this and she had to 277 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,319 Speaker 1: get to know my ex, and she sees what I 278 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: never I've never met her ex. I'll never meet her ex. 279 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't have to. It's a blessing that you 280 00:12:59,440 --> 00:12:59,839 Speaker 2: don't have to. 281 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,839 Speaker 1: But she has to deal with that all the time. 282 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: When we're moving into college, we're moving out of college, Christmas, birthdays, 283 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: you know, we're together a lot. Yeah, and so it 284 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: is a difficult path to walk, and so kudos to you. 285 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 1: And I'm sure Ryan is very appreciative of that, Like 286 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: steps you're taking to do that trying. 287 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 2: I'm trying. Nobody. There's no handbook on it. I guess 288 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 2: if Lauren's name can teach this, I would appreciate it. 289 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: Now do you I know it's early days, but do 290 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,679 Speaker 1: you think you guys will have more kids? Do you 291 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: want kids? Oh? 292 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 2: My gosh, I'll tell you what, Chris. The last time 293 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 2: we talked, would you remember I got crucified for being 294 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 2: like baby? Yeah, my whole life, I've always wanted babies, 295 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:43,440 Speaker 2: and I don't know why I got so crucified for that, 296 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: just as like goals is babies, you know, Like, here's 297 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 2: the thing though, too, Number one, I consider this my 298 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 2: step girls, my babies you know, and if that's what's 299 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: in the plan, I'm super happy with that. I just 300 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 2: love mom and I love being in that role, and 301 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 2: it makes you feel good to take care of children, 302 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 2: and it's something I've always wanted. What that looks like 303 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,199 Speaker 2: in the future, I think it's something we'd probably most 304 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 2: likely keep private, since I did get crucified for even 305 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 2: staying the word babies. 306 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, yeah, someone wants to be a mom. 307 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 2: Totally, God forgive you forbid. You love babies. 308 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 1: But there's no worse thing in the world right now, 309 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: total than wanting to be a good mom. 310 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 2: I know, right, you would think, But no, I don't know. 311 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 2: We'll see. It's telling them. I'm like, if it happens 312 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 2: or if this is the thing for us, I'm gonna 313 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 2: pull Para Siltan for sure. Just one day you'll see 314 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 2: me with the baby. 315 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: Whoa the hell did that happen? 316 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 2: Exactly like World meet the baby? Who knows? We'll see. 317 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 2: And here's the thing too, though, is that I'm forty two. 318 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: I don't know it could look like anything, to be honest, like, 319 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 2: I don't know, we'll see, I guess TBD. 320 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: We both went through some very tumultuous times. Yeah, yours 321 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 1: was essentially you Antasia kind of the last season that 322 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 1: I went through, the last Bachelorette. It was just it 323 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 1: was a crazy time then and then post for both 324 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 1: of us. 325 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, really it really was. 326 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my gosh, both of our lives kind of 327 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 1: blew up. 328 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like forever ago. But man, it's almost 329 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 2: like are we blocking I sometimes block it out of 330 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 2: my mind. It was pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic. Yeah, 331 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 2: it was a wild time. 332 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 1: Well, and unfortunately, I think too, I felt bad because 333 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 1: I felt like I couldn't really be there for you. 334 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 1: We didn't stay in as close a touch as I 335 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: normally would have with a former bachelorette or whatever going 336 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 1: through everything because of my crap and everything I was 337 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: going through. Yeah, obviously I didn't reach out to people, 338 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: and I didn't really do. I didn't keep those relationships 339 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 1: as close as I normally would. I felt like I 340 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: kind of abandoned you to a certain degree where you 341 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 1: were going through all your No. 342 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 2: You reached out to though, too, and we were both 343 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 2: going through it. But I think it's I don't know, 344 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 2: it's a tough position to be in. I was thinking 345 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 2: about it with you because it's like, you know so 346 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,240 Speaker 2: much behind the scenes stuff, and there's so many questions 347 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 2: that I had where it was like, ooh, I want 348 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 2: to ask him so bad, but then it's like, does 349 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 2: he have the show's loyalty? Does he have you know? 350 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 2: Because I think there look at the end of the day, 351 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 2: I think there's two different agendas and well, I mean 352 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 2: no where you fall. 353 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: Honestly, for me, it was both and that's part of 354 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 1: that was part of the friction of me being on 355 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: the show, and partly why things happen the way they 356 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: did is because I didn't always tote the company line. 357 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 1: I didn't always do what they wanted me to do, 358 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 1: which I got some knockdown, drag out fights with people 359 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: because they would ask me to do something or say 360 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,120 Speaker 1: something going to Claire and do this, and I would say, no, 361 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 1: I'm not that horrible of a human being. I'm not 362 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: going to do that to her. I know where she 363 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 1: is mentally right now and emotionally. And so it worked 364 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 1: out because I felt like I could always be the 365 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 1: voice of reason and say, Okay, what if we did this, 366 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,919 Speaker 1: or I know what you're trying to get to, how 367 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 1: about we do it this way, and a lot of 368 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: times it worked out, yeah, because cooler heads would prevail, 369 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,560 Speaker 1: and there was a certain someone who wasn't on set 370 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,159 Speaker 1: with us most of the time, so it really helped. 371 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 372 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 1: And so because again I think most of the producers 373 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: were along those same lines as well. We had a 374 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,199 Speaker 1: job to do, but we don't need to ruin this 375 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 1: person's life, yeah, you know, even though sometimes we would anyway. 376 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,159 Speaker 2: I do remember too. I mean there were so many, 377 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 2: so many times where you did come to me and 378 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 2: you it was almost like I remember there would be 379 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,359 Speaker 2: even back in the One Pablo days where you were like, hey, 380 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 2: look out for yourself. 381 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: Then I was totally on your side. And I remember 382 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: I pulled you aside in Vietnam because I went and 383 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: had a serious talk with One Pablo. Yeah, and I said, hey, man, 384 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: I just heard that conversation you had with Claire. It 385 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 1: was not great. You kind of put all the onus 386 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,919 Speaker 1: on her and the blame on her for something you 387 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,399 Speaker 1: both did. It's not going to be a good look. 388 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,360 Speaker 1: And I always kind of gave him the benefit of doubt. 389 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 1: He's from Venezuela and there was that language barrier, and 390 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,120 Speaker 1: I said, oh, I get it you. Maybe you don't 391 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,120 Speaker 1: understand this is not going to play well for you. Yeah, 392 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 1: and he went into a third person and started referring 393 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: to himself and says, you know you want one, Bablo, 394 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: you get one, Bablo. And I was like, oh God, 395 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 1: So I remember pulling you aside in Vietnam and Saint Clair. 396 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,919 Speaker 1: Just get out, get out of this. I'm glad you 397 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 1: did could look out and this is not a good situation. 398 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm glad you did, because that was in the 399 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 2: time for myself where I was still in the very 400 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 2: beginning healing stages of dealing with I guess I don't 401 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 2: know what the right word is, but I didn't know 402 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 2: how to look out for myself. I didn't know what 403 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:47,679 Speaker 2: healthy relationships look like, and I didn't know what the 404 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 2: right thing to do was. And to have somebody like 405 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 2: you to reach out to be like, no, this is 406 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 2: not normal. 407 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: And that's something that the producers knew. I did that. Yeah, 408 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,440 Speaker 1: off camera, they would have killed me totally. 409 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,159 Speaker 2: I'm telling you, oh. 410 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: You just torched this whole dynamic in this scene. But 411 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: when I see a human being, I'm like, no, I 412 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 1: don't care. Yeah, I'm going to react as a as 413 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,439 Speaker 1: a dad, as a as a friend. First, because I 414 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 1: still think you can make great TV and make great 415 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: relationship TV. Setting someone up complete failure. 416 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 2: I'm telling you, though, I wish he's lucky Claire now healed. 417 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,480 Speaker 2: Claire didn't handle him. 418 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 1: Back then, it would have been a knockdown dragon. 419 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 2: It would have been a whole different ball game. 420 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 1: Someone may have drowned in that pool. 421 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 2: Absolutely, he would have been rocking himself in the corner crying. 422 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 2: I'll tell you that. 423 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: What other questions do you have? 424 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 2: You really want me to ask him? Yeah? 425 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 1: I mean so I'll see if I can answer him. 426 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 2: Okay, because I don't know what your line is, what 427 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:39,640 Speaker 2: you can and can't talk right, I don't either. 428 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,120 Speaker 1: We'll see, We'll find we'll find out. 429 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 2: I want to know because I remember sitting in the 430 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 2: living room in Pump Springs and when you were like, 431 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 2: what's the situation here? What's going on? And I remember thinking, 432 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 2: there are so many previous bachelorettes that new night one 433 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 2: who they wanted to pick and who they wanted to 434 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 2: end up with. What was different do you think from 435 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 2: my situation? Because I remember sitting there talking with you 436 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 2: in the living room, going I'll see it through to 437 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 2: the end. I'll stay to the end. I'll do my 438 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,479 Speaker 2: due diligence and be here. I signed up for this. 439 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:13,439 Speaker 2: I knew what I want to do. 440 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: No one was ever as demonstrative as you were. Really, 441 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: no one was ever as sure. When that person stepped 442 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 1: out of the limo and you, I don't know if 443 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,679 Speaker 1: you remember, you walked over to me and you had 444 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 1: this smile on your face. You're like, it's done. It's over. Yeah, Okay, 445 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 1: that's cute, and it's not really over. And then you're like, no, 446 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 1: it's over. Yeah. I remember. I forget who was your handler? 447 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: Who was your producer, because it was Caitlin Maybe no, 448 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 1: because it was you me and whoever your handler was 449 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,199 Speaker 1: Jullia Juliet. Yeah, oh my gosh. And so we were 450 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 1: sitting there later in that little room and you had 451 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 1: to smile and you were like, no, no, that we 452 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: were off camera. You said, it's I'm done. 453 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 2: But here's the thing, though, Chris. When I was chosen 454 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 2: as the bachelorette, I was thirty nine years old. 455 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was different. 456 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 2: I was a woman who knew what I wanted and 457 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 2: I told you all that since the get. 458 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: Go So here's where I felt like my job was 459 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 1: for you as a friend at that moment. I'm going 460 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 1: to push you and be devil's advocate. Okay, I don't 461 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 1: care if you do this again, and I will help 462 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,679 Speaker 1: and facilitate this, and we made it happen. I was 463 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: just going to push you as hard as I could 464 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 1: to make sure that's really what you wanted to do 465 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 1: before you gave up this opportunity to be the bachelorette, 466 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: because it also kind of took that away from you. 467 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,640 Speaker 1: And I'm like, don't you want to be the bachgeorette too? 468 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,200 Speaker 2: But I remember saying I'll stay. I'll see this through 469 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 2: that yet, right, I remember saying that. 470 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: But we couldn't do it. It was it was over. Yeah, 471 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: Like I think we went on one more date and 472 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:39,160 Speaker 1: you were just so uninterested. You were so out of it. 473 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 2: It was I think here's the thing too, though I 474 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,679 Speaker 2: don't know, even to this day, as much as I 475 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 2: adore these men, yeah, I still don't think there's a 476 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 2: man in there that I would have chosen. 477 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 1: No, I think it was the best thing for you 478 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: to do. 479 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:50,880 Speaker 2: I got that time. 480 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,640 Speaker 1: You know. It's funny because you got a little crap 481 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,679 Speaker 1: for it, and I'm like, yeah, I never understood that. 482 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, if the whole purpose was to meet somebody, 483 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: and if you do totally, who cares if it's night 484 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 1: one whatever. I mean, I never had a problem with 485 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,840 Speaker 1: that and defended you on that, and I just wanted 486 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 1: to make sure is this really what you want to 487 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: do and if so, I'll move heaven and earth to 488 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 1: make it happen, which we did and it was not 489 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,080 Speaker 1: easy to do in the pandemic and then lockdown to 490 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:16,400 Speaker 1: get Neil Lane out there. 491 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,679 Speaker 2: It's true, I know, and I still think about it 492 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 2: to this day and I'm like, I go back and 493 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 2: forth between it, but I still think I'm okay with 494 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 2: disappointing other people to not disappoint myself, And that's what 495 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,120 Speaker 2: I wanted at the time. 496 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: I wish I could do that. That's such a healthy 497 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: thing to say. Is I care way too much about 498 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 1: what other people think? 499 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 2: I mean, I cared at. 500 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: After obviously what I went through, and you see the 501 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: truth behind a lot of people and where they stand. 502 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: I was I was just like, you know, I care 503 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 1: too much and which made me a good host, makes 504 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,679 Speaker 1: you human, and it makes you a good dad. It 505 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 1: makes you a good host, just but it just kind 506 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:56,120 Speaker 1: of it can set you up for disappointment failure sometimes. 507 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think honestly, it would have put me 508 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 2: in the ground if I cared that much. And it 509 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 2: did create a lot of anxiety. There was a lot 510 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 2: of mental health stuff I did go through post show, 511 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,439 Speaker 2: But all the stuff that I've gone through mental health wise, 512 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 2: I've chosen how to rise from that myself and kind 513 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,240 Speaker 2: of like what path I want to take from that? 514 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 2: And I've always thought I'm going to be better because 515 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 2: of what I've gone through. 516 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 1: Well, this is the path you're on now. Yeah, you're married, yep, 517 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: you're happy, yep, and life is good and I am 518 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 1: you looked I saw you. I was We're here at 519 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 1: the Rosewood Hotel again in Mona, Zito. Anyway, I was 520 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,880 Speaker 1: walking across the courtyard and I saw You're the first 521 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: person I saw when I got here, and you just 522 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: had this glow about you and this And I love 523 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: Ryan because he's got this. He seems like just an 524 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 1: easy going dude. Is he's unflappable. 525 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 2: Yep, calms me down. 526 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: Someday we'll get him on the podcast one day. 527 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 2: He'll do it. Though he'll do it. He's actually as 528 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 2: quiet as he is. He's such a good talker. No, 529 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 2: as soon as we love him. 530 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: As soon as we're done and I press stop. Yeah, 531 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:57,879 Speaker 1: we're gonna go grab some tequila. 532 00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, we're gonna put it. 533 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,360 Speaker 1: We're gonna have a hell of a night. We're going 534 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 1: to Young and we're gonna have a hell of a 535 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,560 Speaker 1: night because we have some other friends here. Ben Higgins 536 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 1: is here, Ashley Ikenetti, the Firestones are here, Andrew and Evana. 537 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,200 Speaker 1: So we're all gonna go to the concert tonight. We're 538 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: gonna have an absolute blast. We're gonna make some horrible decisions. 539 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 1: This should be the show. 540 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 2: Stand by. 541 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,959 Speaker 1: Thank you for being here, thank you for having me, 542 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 1: and thank you for just still being a friend. And 543 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:25,640 Speaker 1: I was so happy to give you a hug today. 544 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 1: It's great to see you always. 545 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 2: Always we're family. 546 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,880 Speaker 1: And Ryan, thank you so much for being a great 547 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: interview today. My thanks to Claire Crawley. We really went 548 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 1: through a wild time together, going through the lockdown and 549 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,479 Speaker 1: the pandemic and trying to shoot the show the way 550 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: we did, and then her falling in love so quickly 551 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 1: on the show and everything that happens subsequently. It's good 552 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,120 Speaker 1: to see her, and honestly, it's just good to see 553 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 1: love and her eyes the way it is, and I'm 554 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 1: so so happy for her. We have a lot more 555 00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: to come from Montecito, Santa Barbara, California. I have some 556 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:05,200 Speaker 1: good friends coming up next, but that's in the next episode. 557 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,399 Speaker 1: So for now, I'll say goodbye, thanks for tuning in, 558 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you next time because we have 559 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 1: a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow 560 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,840 Speaker 1: us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and 561 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,719 Speaker 1: make sure to write us a review and leave us 562 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,960 Speaker 1: five stars. I'll talk to you next time.