Speaker 1: Hi, Hi. What's that from some songs? Is it?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: No, is that Mary j? I don't know what it's from,
Speaker 1: but sity oh you ready? Oh my god? Oh you
Speaker 1: got that so fast? Wow? You would think you were
Speaker 1: good at taboo.
Speaker 2: It's crazy how bad at it you are.
Speaker 1: Do you want to tell the people what happened? Yes,
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. Okay. So Sydney and I get
Speaker 1: booked for shows together as a duo all the time.
Speaker 1: People are like Sidney Mury, like they don't even put
Speaker 1: a space between the names. It's r Sidney Mrie. Or
Speaker 1: they'll book us as the unofficial expert and it's like, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: And so we did a live show where we had
Speaker 1: to play taboo against three other podcasts and Sydney had
Speaker 1: never played taboo? How have you never played table.
Speaker 3: I played it once in Detroit, But that doesn't count.
Speaker 3: I mean that's the blackest place to play taboo. That
Speaker 3: means it counts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But anyway, we're there. Do white people play taboo?
Speaker 1: Yes they do.
Speaker 3: There's an app on your phone to play the taboo.
Speaker 3: Everybody plays it except you, exact me.
Speaker 1: So and I didn't know there was an app on
Speaker 1: your phone. Anyway, So we get there and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give I'm gonna give the clues because I
Speaker 1: feel like Sidney's gonna just read all of the words
Speaker 1: on the card. So if you're listening to this and
Speaker 1: you've never played Taboo, it's you get a card. There's
Speaker 1: a word at the top. It'll say like president, and
Speaker 1: then you can't say any of the words underneath that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's pretty much and it'll be like white house and.
Speaker 3: You have to explain it or you have to give
Speaker 3: like context clues for somebody to guess.
Speaker 1: The word boom. So you know, so you were first.
Speaker 1: I went up first, and I was giving good clues,
Speaker 1: like right, the word was filthy and I was like
Speaker 1: white men are and he was like dusty and then
Speaker 1: I was like it was so bad. Then Sidney was
Speaker 1: like the city. Then Sydney was giving the clues and
Speaker 1: she was like, oh the time I went out with
Speaker 1: that rich man. I went to his house and I
Speaker 1: was like anal. I couldn't believe said that. I just
Speaker 1: screamed anal. And then this is for the kicker. I
Speaker 1: the the word was split, and I was like, when
Speaker 1: we're at dinner, he was like, we stunt. I said,
Speaker 1: when the check comes, She's like, we ignore it. The
Speaker 1: crowd was dying. I was like, when we get two cards,
Speaker 1: you're like, uh, split Yeah, I mean though it was funny. Anyway,
Speaker 1: all that to say, we got third place out of four.
Speaker 1: We didn't win, we did it, but we won in
Speaker 1: other ways. We won the heart of the crowd. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were a crowd favorite. Sin He was like, this
Speaker 1: is what's what did you say? This? What's next to
Speaker 1: a brown Stone? I was like, white people, you guys
Speaker 1: need to watch us play taboo live. It's hilarious. We
Speaker 1: should do that at all of our at everything that
Speaker 1: we got coming up. Yeah, like all our live shows,
Speaker 1: we should play taboo, just because we're experts at not
Speaker 1: really playing. But the show is probably gonna be like,
Speaker 1: oh yo, y'all are copying us, blah blah blah. Oh
Speaker 1: we don't care, me care? Okay, Well, uh, what were
Speaker 1: you an expert in this week? My friend? Oh? Wow,
Speaker 1: I wasn't. I was an expert at having an expertise
Speaker 1: last week that I forgot today? Oh you did? What
Speaker 1: did I say last time? Who knows? I don't remember
Speaker 1: at all? I don't I don't remember either.
Speaker 3: Okay, well I could do my experts. Do it again again.
Speaker 3: We're talking about uberpool.
Speaker 1: I get in and this there's little things that people
Speaker 1: do that they try to do, the loophole thing, like
Speaker 1: this woman had a baby and then two.
Speaker 3: Kids, two grown ass kids. You can only have one
Speaker 3: other person with you in a pool. Two kids is
Speaker 3: not one person. Sounds like she had three kids. Oh well,
Speaker 3: I wasn't counting a baby because the baby was basically
Speaker 3: on her back. Right, Okay, I'm like, you have two
Speaker 3: fucking kids, mind you. You know she put in that
Speaker 3: she had one guest, but if somebody else comes in,
Speaker 3: they might have another guest.
Speaker 1: Now they got to put a child in a lap?
Speaker 1: Fuck not, I said the cat.
Speaker 3: We and Bushwick, Now we gotta go to Penn Station
Speaker 3: with a kid on your lap.
Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 3: So I'm in the front because I was actually I
Speaker 3: was in the back, but when I saw the kids,
Speaker 3: I said, I'm gonna sit in the front because I
Speaker 3: ain't got time.
Speaker 1: Nope, And I don't know. You know those back kids
Speaker 1: that like will kick you and they're looking at you
Speaker 1: while the kicking you, and they're like they dare you
Speaker 1: to say something to them.
Speaker 3: I ain't nobody's nanny or I'm not a kid friendly.
Speaker 3: So I sat in the front and so the driver
Speaker 3: was like miss miss He was like Beatrice, Beatrice, because
Speaker 3: of Beatrice White lady.
Speaker 1: No, it was a Spanish woman. He was like Beatrice.
Speaker 3: Come on, like She's like, well, I'm here now, So
Speaker 3: what what do you want me to do? You're gonna
Speaker 3: have me and my kids stand up?
Speaker 1: Yes? This see, this is why I can't be an
Speaker 1: uber driver. And because I can't drive, but you not
Speaker 1: getting in my car with your boogernosed kids kicking my seat,
Speaker 1: putting your kid's footprints all on the back of my
Speaker 1: of the driver's seat.
Speaker 3: No thrown ass kids. She said, these are tallest. I said,
Speaker 3: actually that boy is my height. He got a regular
Speaker 3: sized body.
Speaker 1: I said, he worked somewhere. No way, he not standing
Speaker 1: outside of the home depot Toronto. Get a ride.
Speaker 3: And you know we picked up somebody else who had
Speaker 3: another person with them.
Speaker 1: What kind of car was just like an a Honda Corps.
Speaker 1: It was a Toyota Camri. It was the regular ship.
Speaker 1: So where did the kids go? Because the baby's in
Speaker 1: on her breast right, So the kids are sitting. The
Speaker 1: kids had a leppa.
Speaker 3: It was a big ass argument because when we picked
Speaker 3: up the other person, it was another colored person, another you.
Speaker 1: Know brown, you're saying colored like color like somebody from
Speaker 1: the fifties. It was a it was a colored person.
Speaker 3: It was another brown and they weren't having it. They
Speaker 3: was like, dude, like, come on, man, yeah, but hold on,
Speaker 3: let's talk.
Speaker 1: Let's do the math here.
Speaker 2: Though you said, it's a Toyota Camra, right, you get in,
Speaker 2: it's one person, right, the driver's in the front seat,
Speaker 2: so the front seat is full. If the lady actually
Speaker 2: had two people and then two other people were not
Speaker 2: going to fit in the.
Speaker 1: Car, well that's in in freaking uberpool. You could do that.
Speaker 1: I mean you gotta have a third row. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was messy. Even if she didn't have that extra baby
Speaker 1: with her. The other person who had a friend was
Speaker 1: not going to fit in the car. They must have
Speaker 1: claimed only having one and then they came with two people,
Speaker 1: probably because I've done that before.
Speaker 3: You have Yeah, Well you need to not do that.
Speaker 3: It's not considerate.
Speaker 1: Well the driver's like, it says one and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: there's two of us. Because you know, it's like, got
Speaker 1: an extra dollar thirty three for your friend. I'd be like,
Speaker 1: let me just put one and see what happens. It's
Speaker 1: rude and you shouldn't do that.
Speaker 3: And I don't want to be in the middle of it,
Speaker 3: especially if I'm in the front.
Speaker 1: I have you not in the middle of you in
Speaker 1: the front. Yeah, but I felt like I was involved.
Speaker 1: Know you had one headphone in yeah, because I wanted
Speaker 1: to hear okay, yeah, okay. I was like, Beatrice, you
Speaker 1: gonna go off or not? Ornal sub Marie, what was
Speaker 1: your expertise? Still not ready for it? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've been really busy. I've been doing I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guys can tell by listening to my voice
Speaker 1: right now, but this voice is in high demand, Okay.
Speaker 1: I've been auditioning for voiceover like stuff. And in the
Speaker 1: last week I auditioned for a vitamin water commercial, a
Speaker 1: McDonald's commercial, op VI, a dog food commercial, a Plan
Speaker 1: B commercial, and a Mabeling commercial. When I tell you
Speaker 1: I booked the Plan B, though you did when I
Speaker 1: tell you, I got the callback for the Plan B,
Speaker 1: so callback is probably the right word, you know, They're like, uh,
Speaker 1: they want so the company that the agency that I'm
Speaker 1: working with now, they're like every time I see them,
Speaker 1: they're super excited to see me. Everybody's talking about you
Speaker 1: being here, and I'm like, why did I book something
Speaker 1: that y'all not telling me? Like is there something that
Speaker 1: y'all getting money for me being here that I didn't
Speaker 1: know about? And they're like, no, just they're looking for
Speaker 1: you in the industry, like all the commercials want don't
Speaker 1: want white women anymore. And I'm like, okay, I still
Speaker 1: see a lot of commercials with white people in them,
Speaker 1: and they're like no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 3: Or maybe it's white people in the commercial with their
Speaker 3: voices and something else.
Speaker 1: Oh no, They're like everything that they get all a
Speaker 1: copy that they get, they're asking for black women or
Speaker 1: ethnically ambiguous or Asian or Hispanic. Okay. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: but I mean I saw Wendy's commercial the other day
Speaker 1: and it was you know, the Wendy's girl is still white.
Speaker 1: When are they going to remix the Wendy's going to
Speaker 1: put here like in some ban two knots, some corn rows. No,
Speaker 1: she Wendy could be white. They can have that. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know any of black girls named Wendy Wendy Williams. Anyway,
Speaker 1: That's what I've been an expert in, is just you know,
Speaker 1: using my tool, you know, being a voice actor, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, an actor with the voice. So
Speaker 1: you know, this time next week, I could be the
Speaker 1: new voice of Mabeline.
Speaker 3: I'm hoping. I'm crossing my fingers for that. I mean,
Speaker 3: that would be a really big campaign. I would be
Speaker 3: the voice, not this voice that you're hearing right now, obviously,
Speaker 3: because I just woke up and I sound like somebody's
Speaker 3: smoking ass.
Speaker 2: Mom, But bring me, bring me to remote, bring me
Speaker 2: my bag. I told you it's your little friend coming
Speaker 2: over today. Did you do your homework?
Speaker 1: You sound like you could be the voice of little
Speaker 1: Baby's mom, Baby's kids, and then mom the mom was
Speaker 1: the mom in the movie, because I thought it was
Speaker 1: just the honest dude.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you that I didn't see Baby's kids.
Speaker 3: I remember Baby's kids, but I didn't watch it.
Speaker 1: I watched it. It was good. Speaking of better than that,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, our guest is better than that, because
Speaker 1: she this is the second time she's been here, and
Speaker 1: she's better than that. And she's better than that. Back. Okay,
Speaker 1: First of all, I would be like, now, I'm not
Speaker 1: coming back and this guest.
Speaker 3: I was like, hey, I'll get you an uber to
Speaker 3: and fro and I was like, she didn't take that offer.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh wow, so this guest is dumb.
Speaker 1: This this is the dumbest guess we've ever had. Because
Speaker 1: you're gonna uber me there and back. You gon uber
Speaker 1: me to Target. I'm going grocery shopping on your dime, right,
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 3: I would have I would actually uber well, she knew
Speaker 3: I was gonna put her an uber.
Speaker 1: In a pool. She knew that. She was like, nah,
Speaker 1: I don't have time for that bullshit. She was like,
Speaker 1: I'll just stick. She was like, I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: leave the night before if I want to get at
Speaker 1: ten am to this one. So yeah, you're smart. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Thank you for I care about my money. Well,
Speaker 1: our guest today is our petty expert, and she's here
Speaker 1: to talked about talk to us about everything petty. And
Speaker 1: she's a comic. She's hilarious, she's attractive. I feel like
Speaker 1: I should put that in there because y'all can't see
Speaker 1: her she's about to be the face of a mall.
Speaker 1: Bitch a mall, A mall.
Speaker 3: That's an m a L L mall mall. People get
Speaker 3: people the middle of the mall, not chaos.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about the ole ma. I mean, I think
Speaker 1: it's gonna be in the middle of the motto. Her
Speaker 1: face not gonna be on the mall outside. Anyway, let's
Speaker 1: just get into it.
Speaker 2: You're being really rude, as our petty expert Pat Paris Sashet.
Speaker 1: Hey, girls, you guys, crack me up.
Speaker 2: Hey, hold on, wait, let's pause. I never turned down
Speaker 2: the offer over pool.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 2: We didn't finish the conversation into the park, she said,
Speaker 2: come up off that starter.
Speaker 1: She was killing the Yeah, she didn't take the offer.
Speaker 1: I did. I got you A person got to catch
Speaker 1: a bus somewhere. So where's the bus authority? She changed
Speaker 1: her mind real fast.
Speaker 2: She's like, I'll get you partially there. Yeah, geta and
Speaker 2: over pool to the train. I'll get you tor so
Speaker 2: Ho and Uber pool to the train.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. So what's happening in at the port authority?
Speaker 1: You're taking the bus. I'm taking the bus. But now,
Speaker 1: lady like you should not be in any type of bus.
Speaker 3: You are just too damn fly. You got your glasses on,
Speaker 3: biggie glasses, you got your your Rolex.
Speaker 1: Yes, listen, but it's away for me to save money.
Speaker 1: It's not bad. I go to sleep. It's just four hours,
Speaker 1: just four hours.
Speaker 3: She's one of those rich people that's like, no, no,
Speaker 3: I'll take twelve buses it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's well, get to Boston hashtag rich. Okay, uh so,
Speaker 1: let's do a let's give you a full body cam.
Speaker 1: Uh So, Paris is giving us thick Eve okay, thick
Speaker 1: Ev from the rough Riders.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I can't tell if she has the paws on the
Speaker 1: tight eyes because she's got them covered. I got them
Speaker 1: on the thus.
Speaker 2: Oh you go on the thigh You you have the
Speaker 2: paw prints on your thighs, because did you look so
Speaker 2: much like Eve? I did it before people was telling
Speaker 2: me that just how you did it, and you were like,
Speaker 2: they're gonna they're gonna catch on after I get these
Speaker 2: paw prints on my thighs.
Speaker 1: That's hot. Are they paw prints or like dog prints?
Speaker 1: You know the print so it's coming up like cat
Speaker 1: prints or it's going up to the cat. Wow, you
Speaker 1: have paw prints going up to the coach is a dear,
Speaker 1: she said, dogs dogs? How many tracks?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Is it one? Two? Three? How many need to see this?
Speaker 1: Take your pants off city, rip pants off me too?
Speaker 3: I mean they already listen. Wait, so you got the
Speaker 3: paw prints. I see you in the like little rip
Speaker 3: jeans dressed. Those are very nice. Your ankles out, you
Speaker 3: look like you're running errands, bitch, or you about to
Speaker 3: go through the CSA you do one?
Speaker 1: You had like a you know. You also kind of
Speaker 1: looked like there was the actress I want to say
Speaker 1: she was on the Parkers. She was like the Friends,
Speaker 1: not nobody but the friend. I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 1: Please it better not that's what you're giving me. Definitely,
Speaker 1: the way that she just laughed just now is giving
Speaker 1: me like the Friends talking about maybe Mosha, maybe with
Speaker 1: somebody from Mosha. I hope you don't think it's Countess. No,
Speaker 1: not not either of the Parkers, the friend of one
Speaker 1: of the Parkers. Okay, look it up.
Speaker 3: So also, you got your little army fatigue. So you're
Speaker 3: a rough rider. Okay stop drop, shut down up.
Speaker 1: I love it. And the face is completely clear. You
Speaker 1: got great skin? Yeah, do you have a skin regimember,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I just drink a lot of I use honey. I
Speaker 2: use face scrub, and then I use honey.
Speaker 1: I'm so tired of So you exfoliate and then you
Speaker 1: got the raw honey in the shower.
Speaker 3: First of all, raw honey is expensive to just be
Speaker 3: putting on your face, honestly, says you just gotta catch
Speaker 3: like a cute trader Joe's situation.
Speaker 1: I'm so tired of black people. Oh yeah, I use
Speaker 1: raw and that's it. It's like, okay, but if but
Speaker 1: if what it's how Goop told you to do it,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't be tired of white people, wouldn't. I've been
Speaker 1: tired of them.
Speaker 3: But I'm saying like they'll they'll say, oh, I don't
Speaker 3: have no skin regimen, no nothing, and.
Speaker 1: Then they got a whole routine products. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: it'll be proud. It'd be like the kitchen stuff being
Speaker 1: the like my olive oil be in the bathroom anyway, listen,
Speaker 1: So you shower and then you put the honey on,
Speaker 1: and then you towel it off. No, I let the
Speaker 1: water wash it off.
Speaker 2: No hair, so I just let ey like I let
Speaker 2: I just wash my hair every time I'm in the shower.
Speaker 1: I just let everything it was. I mean, if I
Speaker 1: had a seesar, i'd washed my hair every day too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you get a shape up? Didn't? It looks great?
Speaker 1: Even though you have short hair, you still got to
Speaker 1: maintain that ship.
Speaker 2: I brushed my hair one hundred times after I got
Speaker 2: the shower.
Speaker 1: I count, and then I put a. Then you put a.
Speaker 1: You gotta have trying to maintain them waves. I lay down.
Speaker 1: I didn't see you as the do rag type. Do
Speaker 1: you have the tail out?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I tuk the tail. You tuck the tail. It's too much.
Speaker 1: It's too much with the taillout. It's just too Why
Speaker 1: you don't open the door with the tailout. I'm look
Speaker 1: in the mirror with the tail on. I'm liked. Listen,
Speaker 1: you don't put the fan on it stand in front
Speaker 1: of the fan and get your Beyonce on with the tailout.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you don't excel what to do?
Speaker 1: Right? Okay? Now?
Speaker 2: Wait, that is the gayest image that you can have,
Speaker 2: and that's why you never saying it.
Speaker 3: And also you have glasses on? Now do you ever
Speaker 3: take them off? I always see you with some type
Speaker 3: of glasses on with a statement shape.
Speaker 1: They're not prescription obviously, No, because level glasses those Warby Parker's. No,
Speaker 1: they're not now Street, No they're not. No, you got
Speaker 1: a designer. Nope, just order them from Amazon. She orders
Speaker 1: them for Amazon. You got Amazon Prime.
Speaker 2: I use my ex Amazon. Oh you, I mean you
Speaker 2: have to what's the worst that can happen? I can
Speaker 2: change the password if anything.
Speaker 1: You have to trust you changed the password on Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just used the account. Remember when I was on
Speaker 1: my exes Netflix and then he changed the password on me? Sish,
Speaker 1: that was such a track, that was pet that you
Speaker 1: should have changed it first. I didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1: I was just you know how they get. They make
Speaker 1: little accounts, you know, yeah, you log on it, but
Speaker 1: then you know they give you those little like who's
Speaker 1: watching and it's like this guy and this other guy
Speaker 1: and he probably kept seeing your face pop up and
Speaker 1: he's like this, bitch, No, my face wasn't on the
Speaker 1: thing because he because he made separate ones, because I
Speaker 1: was messing up his cue, because I was like watching
Speaker 1: things that he was like, that's not they recommended crap
Speaker 1: that I don't want to see. Yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: to watch it on, like, are you sure you don't
Speaker 1: want to watch this crime show about black women killing
Speaker 1: white dudes? Anyway, So he took me off and he
Speaker 1: didn't say anything to me about it.
Speaker 3: Well, that was very white of him, you know, because
Speaker 3: I feel like if a black person don't take you
Speaker 3: off this ship, they don't let you know, look up
Speaker 3: over here, we're gonna we're gonna end this.
Speaker 2: This is a black person will tell you either if
Speaker 2: we're not together, then I don't even know you.
Speaker 1: Are you still using my shirt?
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna have it where you're gonna log in
Speaker 2: one day and think that you're about to be watching
Speaker 2: a movie and you're not password.
Speaker 3: Now, I feel like it's petty to like hit them
Speaker 3: up and be like, yo, you using my ship?
Speaker 1: Why no? No? I think that the way the way
Speaker 1: I would do it is just change it in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. In the middle of the night,
Speaker 1: you wake up, or maybe you're watching something in bed
Speaker 1: and it's you gotta realy, what change it? After I
Speaker 1: see that you just started watching something. Oh absolutely, twenty
Speaker 1: one minutes.
Speaker 4: Into this field, you just paused to go to the
Speaker 4: poor before.
Speaker 1: You see them watching the season and you see them
Speaker 1: get to the last episode, then you change it. I
Speaker 1: don't even want to let him get no, I don't.
Speaker 1: I want you to be in the middle of an
Speaker 1: episode and you just like what. I gotta really let
Speaker 1: you reset the router. You gotta change it on the
Speaker 1: weekend because that's when people are really watching it. You
Speaker 1: have changing on like a Saturday morning. Okay, maybe yeah,
Speaker 1: that might be peak Netflix hours. Well, Paris, have.
Speaker 2: You ever done something to an ex that like people?
Speaker 2: When you tell them, they're like, oh.
Speaker 1: That's I think all my exes hate me. Well, let's
Speaker 1: get into it. Talk about it. Top three exes they
Speaker 1: hate what.
Speaker 2: I just checked my Instagram this morning and one of
Speaker 2: my exes was like, in my girlfriend pictures?
Speaker 1: So I don't I don't really know what to think. Well,
Speaker 1: you got to take the picture that you posted of here.
Speaker 1: Your girlfriend was quite nice. I was like, can I
Speaker 1: like this? It's a very nice picture.
Speaker 2: She's fine, But why is she on my pages? I mean,
Speaker 2: you got people? Well, let me check the photo your ex.
Speaker 1: You just posted a photo wait, of your current girlfriend
Speaker 1: and your ex girlfriend who's in.
Speaker 2: The ex girlfriend liked it?
Speaker 1: Maybe girlfriends have you had to be honest?
Speaker 2: Because well, the current girlfriend is the only girlfriend that
Speaker 2: the world know about.
Speaker 1: But I had maybe five to six, five to s
Speaker 1: how many girlfriends have you had? That's way more than me.
Speaker 1: I only had one other girlfriend than Adrian, and I
Speaker 1: hooked up with about like nine women, like five nineteen
Speaker 1: five five. Okays like nerd. Yeah, she's like nerd. Well,
Speaker 1: I hooked up with two girls at the same time,
Speaker 1: So I mean I had several girls at the same time. Oh, okay,
Speaker 1: the same bed. No, maybe I would just leave one
Speaker 1: house and go to.
Speaker 2: The Nah sense they were both in my bed. Are
Speaker 2: you showering between sessions or you just ye some show?
Speaker 1: You gotta shower with face washed, but you gotta do
Speaker 1: the whole thing. You you got honey in the go bag?
Speaker 1: Or no, you have to go home. I was okay
Speaker 1: before this relationship. I was a cheetah. You were a hope.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can say that too. I think everybody has
Speaker 2: to get there, how autumn. I think everybody's born with
Speaker 2: a little bit out when them I'm here, get it
Speaker 2: out of you before you stop using the word no.
Speaker 1: No, I like the word hope, I like the word head. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you want to use and replace the voe.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're just being grown an adult.
Speaker 2: You do it when when a kid is being grown,
Speaker 2: that kid is probably gonna get pregnant before they graduate
Speaker 2: from high school.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's being grown. But when you're an adult,
Speaker 1: you don't. You're not being grown. You are just getting
Speaker 1: your home out. Okay, let's talk about this cheating. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. To talk about it?
Speaker 2: What I mean, which one? The last one? The one
Speaker 2: before that memorable? So this last one, I don't. I
Speaker 2: think that she's probably on my page because I just
Speaker 2: like broke up with her through an email and got
Speaker 2: with my new girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Wait an email? Is this a job? Like you? You
Speaker 1: email her which is super formal because I blocked her
Speaker 1: on everything else, so I had to email her. That
Speaker 1: was the only But I were a couple. Yeah, why
Speaker 1: wouldn't you meet up with her and be like?
Speaker 2: Because I didn't want to, She didn't want to let
Speaker 2: it in, but I didn't want to do it anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was just tired of just constantly saying why I
Speaker 2: want to I hate explaining to myself. Honestly, I hate
Speaker 2: If I want to leave, you just let me leave.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should asked me why. Well, some
Speaker 1: people want to close your bitch don't have clothes. I
Speaker 1: don't have time before. That's what. That's what. That's what
Speaker 1: emails are for. Warm regards, warmly yours parents. That's what
Speaker 1: doors are for. Okay, so you emailed her, but you
Speaker 1: had been trying to break up for like a couple days,
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, a couple of weeks. So what
Speaker 1: did you say in this eat? That's how good the
Speaker 1: cat is.
Speaker 2: I told her I had a new girlfriend, just don't
Speaker 2: contact me anymore in the email.
Speaker 1: In the email, I mean you could have texted that.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to text her. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: a waste of an email. No it's not.
Speaker 2: It's it's good.
Speaker 1: Is it possible? When your phone? You're like, why she
Speaker 1: emailing me rather than texting me?
Speaker 2: And then she probably tried to contact me and then
Speaker 2: saying she was block boom damn.
Speaker 1: That's great Paris. And how long were you with this girl?
Speaker 1: Two years? That's a long fucking time.
Speaker 3: It hit somebody with an email pics it's like, oh
Speaker 3: I got a new girl, don't contact.
Speaker 1: Did you hit her with two weeks? Notice when you
Speaker 1: was getting ready to break up.
Speaker 2: No, I told her that I was talking to someone else,
Speaker 2: and then she just was been to the respectful I
Speaker 2: don't want to hear it anything.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait wait wait, so why did he get How
Speaker 1: did you get here? Yes? Because nobody New York. Yes,
Speaker 1: how did you get to the point where you were like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here?
Speaker 2: And she was like, because I was already doing what
Speaker 2: I wanted to do, because I was trying to get
Speaker 2: out of it. But then I met mykar and girlfriend.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, we have a connection. I'll start
Speaker 2: spending time. I started staying at her house and started
Speaker 2: spending a lot of time. So I was already making
Speaker 2: excuses to not see my girlfriend at the time. So
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I'm finally done. Like I don't
Speaker 2: want it anymore. I knew in my mind I made
Speaker 2: up I didn't want her.
Speaker 3: Bo Okay, wait, when you were staying at this other
Speaker 3: When you're staying at your color girlfriend's house, did you
Speaker 3: do anything like Patty to kind of give this other
Speaker 3: girl hints like Hey, I'm hanging out with somebody else.
Speaker 2: I told her I was saying someone. She told her,
Speaker 2: I told her I told her that to her face.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, you're an honest cheater. Yeah, cheating, That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. If I didn't want to be there anymore,
Speaker 1: but if you won't let me leave, what am I
Speaker 1: going to keep arguing having conversations about why I want
Speaker 1: to go? No, I'm going to go.
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell your hands I'm gone, and I'm
Speaker 2: going to block you so I don't have to have
Speaker 2: these conversations anymore.
Speaker 1: Why do people do that? Because the dude, the last
Speaker 1: guy that I broke up with, it was the same thing.
Speaker 1: I wanted to break up and he wanted to stay together.
Speaker 1: And we had a whole talk, a whole two hour discussion.
Speaker 1: It might have been ten minutes. I don't know. We
Speaker 1: had a whole talk, and I was like, Oh, we're
Speaker 1: on the same page. I can answer this. But but
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, oh, we're on the
Speaker 1: same page. When I left, right and the next day
Speaker 1: he sent me a message and was like, we need
Speaker 1: to talk and I was like, but we broke up
Speaker 1: yesterday and he was like, no, we talked about breaking up, Okay,
Speaker 1: you need to talk about what we talked about. And
Speaker 1: I was like that's too much talking.
Speaker 2: But I don't want to talk about what we talked about.
Speaker 2: When you're done, you're done. I was conversation.
Speaker 1: Why are we talking about what we talked about? People
Speaker 1: don't want to start over. We got it, guys. You
Speaker 1: guys know how to cut people off. You know we
Speaker 1: don't because I don't think I'm hartless. I think I
Speaker 1: have a big heart. I have a little one.
Speaker 3: Okay, but you are a petty expert, so you got
Speaker 3: to have less of a heart than most people.
Speaker 1: Correct? Correct? Can you please define what petty is? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What is it? What is petty to you?
Speaker 2: Petty to me is a quick response to something that
Speaker 2: someone tries to do to make you upset.
Speaker 1: Okay. Petty to me is when you do something unnecessary
Speaker 1: to hurt or annoy somebody just because you can. That's petty,
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to do it, but you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it because I have time, Okay, petty.
Speaker 3: Petty to me is the last laugh. Getting the last
Speaker 3: laugh is petty to me. It's like I'm gonna win this. Well,
Speaker 3: that's pretty much what I think before I do everything, petty, So.
Speaker 2: That makes everything's a competition. I just feel like I
Speaker 2: should win all the time.
Speaker 3: What did you realize that you were like, Oh, I'm
Speaker 3: this person, I'm this bitch, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 1: It wasn't in relationships. It was just with people. I
Speaker 1: think I was petty as a child. Oh you got
Speaker 1: a kindergarten, you had a daycare? Petty story.
Speaker 2: I live with my grandmother for a few and she
Speaker 2: was like one of those grandmothers that just tried to
Speaker 2: make the grandchild do everything.
Speaker 1: That's what grand us to do. No, they're not. She
Speaker 1: was your stale, she's how was your home? Was your grandma?
Speaker 1: My grandmother now is in her sixties? What? Wait? What
Speaker 1: you got one of them? You got? Okay, so the.
Speaker 2: Whole, the whole lidiature strong. Yea, your great grandmother would
Speaker 2: be eighty years old. Yeah, wow, past and your great
Speaker 2: great grandmother would be your grandmother is a battye.
Speaker 3: I bet like I saw your picture of your mom. Yoah,
Speaker 3: I'm sure your grandmother looks like her sister.
Speaker 2: Well, my grandmother is one of those older women who
Speaker 2: acts older than what they are. Okay, so she dresses
Speaker 2: like she's still in the eighties.
Speaker 1: What she looked like I mean she's she's gorgeous, but she.
Speaker 2: Just wears like wrapper heads and big puffy jackets.
Speaker 1: And she got the do rag or the.
Speaker 2: She gotead grandma looks like, yeah, she still wears the
Speaker 2: mushroom that you do with the rollers yourself.
Speaker 1: Though your grandma still uses sponge rollers. She uses Oh
Speaker 1: I thought those died. I thought so too. Your grandmother
Speaker 1: is rock Sanne Roxanne. Her grandmother is shoot Night.
Speaker 2: That's actually what I call her. She has just sweated
Speaker 2: as his boss on it. She wear it a lot.
Speaker 2: But as a kid, she used to make me do
Speaker 2: everything for her.
Speaker 1: So oh, and I hate that.
Speaker 3: That's adults are so petty to children, but we're like,
Speaker 3: go get that remote when it's literally you can.
Speaker 2: Be under yours like I've been at school all day.
Speaker 2: You've just been sitting here on the couch. Why don't
Speaker 2: you get up and do something?
Speaker 1: Because I birthed you. It took me nine hours of
Speaker 1: labor and you ripped up my vagina. That's why you
Speaker 1: get me this.
Speaker 2: But she was my grandmother, so she gonna say, well,
Speaker 2: I mean she birthed your mom, who birthed to you,
Speaker 2: so you know, by default, like she owned you, that's
Speaker 2: your landlord.
Speaker 1: I found my way to break out of it.
Speaker 2: So she used to make me make her sandwiches every day.
Speaker 1: As a child. What are you putting on a damn No?
Speaker 1: She wanted like the subway things.
Speaker 2: She wanted letts, cheese, tomatoes, sliced uf pepper on the bread,
Speaker 2: mas everything Like. I was like seven, but I had
Speaker 2: like real life responsibility to be a story.
Speaker 1: Real about movie. Yeah, so I got. I got, you
Speaker 1: said real life response. You were making a sandwich.
Speaker 2: But that's a lot for a sound for a seven
Speaker 2: year old is not a real life responsibility.
Speaker 1: You make it. You had. You had little hands that
Speaker 1: could get into the mayonnaise jar deeper, bigger hands that
Speaker 1: could make the sandwich quicker. Yeah, but you had that
Speaker 1: that young energy. You you knew how to like. That's
Speaker 1: what she thought.
Speaker 2: This time I made the sandwich for her. This was
Speaker 2: the last sundwich she ever asked, what you Instead of
Speaker 2: putting letters on a sandwich, I put cabbage Like she
Speaker 2: didn't like it. Cabbage, she'd been into it. The crunch
Speaker 2: was super hard rock cabbages.
Speaker 1: She never asked me to make her a sandwich. Sandwiches, Yeah,
Speaker 1: she didn't beat your ass. I definitely got that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's no way she's doing you walk away with the time.
Speaker 1: But her cabbage. First of all, she also bet that soundwich.
Speaker 1: You made this up? You probably cult like real cute,
Speaker 1: real diagonal style and.
Speaker 2: Gave her the cup of pepsi wood because she loved
Speaker 2: I was like, you couldn't need this. You put a
Speaker 2: pickle on the plate.
Speaker 1: Now did you You got a little garnish on it?
Speaker 2: Did you toast the bread? What kind of bread? Was
Speaker 2: it just wet birdat bread? O?
Speaker 1: Yo? Cabbage? Yeah? Put the was doing that.
Speaker 3: I feel like somebody could call b c W on
Speaker 3: her Bureau of Children. I don't know something.
Speaker 1: I would say CPS Child Protective Service Yea, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I think it's different things in every state. Yeah, what
Speaker 1: is it? I think a CPS in DC. Okay, Bureau
Speaker 1: of Sydney. Okay. So they sent you all the way
Speaker 1: to the top.
Speaker 2: It was not the highest highest level in the office.
Speaker 1: Was some people who run the company. She was in
Speaker 1: the Yeah. No, my niece, My niece was in child services. Okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm not making this word way to bring the
Speaker 1: mood down.
Speaker 2: Sorry, change the whole tone of the Sadass Podcast of
Speaker 2: Beating your Child's ass and going to b w c W.
Speaker 3: Okay, so your so your grandmother was like the first
Speaker 3: person to make you be a little petty?
Speaker 1: What about your mom? Yeah, I had I got a
Speaker 1: lot of ass.
Speaker 2: When as a child, So I believe like to think that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was a pretty pretty bad kid.
Speaker 1: You have the pictures of you as a child. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. You know she was bad. You know she
Speaker 1: was one of the bad.
Speaker 3: You the type of kid that you put all the
Speaker 3: barretts in your fucking hair and then you go to school,
Speaker 3: take them ships out come pick you.
Speaker 2: You didn't even let them put I believe that I
Speaker 2: had like a lot of braids and corn rows and things.
Speaker 1: Yeah you said no to the barrettes. Yeah, I didn't
Speaker 1: want that in my hair in kindergarten.
Speaker 2: No, I feel like everybody had maybe like kindergarten to
Speaker 2: second grade, maybe bower so out the second grade I
Speaker 2: was done. You were like, just let me get some
Speaker 2: straight backs. Oh I had a choice.
Speaker 1: I would complain and my sister did hair, so I
Speaker 1: had a choice. How old was your sister. She's three
Speaker 1: years older than me, so she was We still didn't
Speaker 1: figure out how she was. She was doing your hair
Speaker 1: when you were in second grade. Your sister was, she
Speaker 1: was in the fifth grade. Then O fifth grade? Is
Speaker 1: how old are you in fifth grade? Nine? Ten? Fifth grade?
Speaker 1: You're in your how we ain't got no kids? We
Speaker 1: are not your I don't know.
Speaker 2: But my mom did hair, so she told my sister
Speaker 2: how to do hair, so they both did my hair.
Speaker 1: You're sitting to the bobos and you were like, I'm
Speaker 1: a grown ass. But you were fighting in school. You
Speaker 1: were you were assassin teachers. I already know your report
Speaker 1: garden was like talk to a lot of kids. No,
Speaker 1: I had great grades. I just got kicked up because.
Speaker 3: You seem very very smart, and you got to be
Speaker 3: witty and smart to be petty.
Speaker 1: No, I know some dumb petty hood kids really that
Speaker 1: couldn't leave class after a while. It was like they
Speaker 1: put them in that one class all day. You know
Speaker 1: them kids Paris. Were you one of those kids?
Speaker 2: Because you were probably I wasn't a special once I
Speaker 2: got to middle school in high school, but I don't.
Speaker 1: Know because you were bad. I was bad. I'm smart, though,
Speaker 1: talk about this, so they.
Speaker 2: Couldn't take me anymore, like I moved from like a
Speaker 2: hooded area to the suburbs. And then once I got
Speaker 2: to the suburbs with the white people, they was like, no,
Speaker 2: this person is out of control.
Speaker 1: Like this, this nigga is bulls this nigga, we have
Speaker 1: to get her out of here. So they put me
Speaker 1: in a special ada. Why do they do that. It's like,
Speaker 1: you're not special white because they don't understand it.
Speaker 2: But you can't be in a class with thirty two
Speaker 2: kids because you're a distraction, so they put you in
Speaker 2: a class.
Speaker 1: It's not I come to learn to read and write, Paris.
Speaker 1: I'm not here for your class.
Speaker 2: So I did my work first in the first fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2: I always did my work. Then I distracted class the
Speaker 2: first fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Though that's not all the work. Everything else is homework tomorrow.
Speaker 2: No, but you know how thought the rest of those
Speaker 2: stud the kids can learn fast like me.
Speaker 1: That wasn't my problem. If I looked at your paper,
Speaker 1: it would be half of the page. No, it was
Speaker 1: really good. I was the teacher, pet, I was helping
Speaker 1: other students. I was really smart.
Speaker 2: But you were distracted. Okay, class, hold on, So how
Speaker 2: you teach this pet and you also, Yeah, in the
Speaker 2: first fifteen minutes you help. It's a lot do you work,
Speaker 2: and then the rest of the time is like Paris.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna sure, you're quite delusional, delusional, delusions of granded.
Speaker 1: Some papers. I need to see a report cards. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have some notes from the teachers. They still
Speaker 1: contact me, they still love me.
Speaker 2: They trying to see if you were loive. They're like,
Speaker 2: you did yet because the way that you was talking in.
Speaker 3: Class, well no, they heard you are going to be
Speaker 3: the face of them all. And so they're trying to
Speaker 3: get that plug right there. They're like, yo, you help
Speaker 3: us out.
Speaker 1: They're like, I'm trying to get something from an eyebone pen. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I go speak to children now at schools. I see that.
Speaker 1: I see what's going on with that. What you're talking
Speaker 1: to the kids.
Speaker 2: About being great and following their dreams and doing things
Speaker 2: that you know.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to do a career day yesterday for
Speaker 1: the kids, these kids in Harlem. I didn't do it
Speaker 1: because I did it last year and the kids where
Speaker 1: they were mean. These kids is real rude.
Speaker 2: They're like, but what are you on You're a comedian,
Speaker 2: But what shows are you on? Are you on walling Out?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, I'm not there. Okay, well then
Speaker 2: why are you talking to us? Are you on YouTube?
Speaker 2: How many followers you got? And he was like, it's
Speaker 2: too early. I took three trains to get here. I'm
Speaker 2: not doing this with you, Denise.
Speaker 1: And they wanted me to speak to six hundred.
Speaker 3: They wanted me to be a comedian for six hundred
Speaker 3: kids at like a at a prom that has no
Speaker 3: alcohol or drugs.
Speaker 1: Oh no, sober ass, grown ass kids. They sober ass,
Speaker 1: grown ass and.
Speaker 3: I would have to have clean material, clean clean at
Speaker 3: eleven pm on.
Speaker 2: A Saturday, clean material eleven pm on Saturday in New Jersey.
Speaker 1: It can kiss my black ass death. Not doing that.
Speaker 1: We don't care about the community. Oh actually, you know
Speaker 1: what they might hear this. That's I might cut that out.
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. No, be the petty queen that we know
Speaker 2: that you are.
Speaker 1: Actually it's yeah, there, it was so much emphasis on
Speaker 1: you said it from your diaphragm. Well no, I just
Speaker 1: feel like that's unrealistic.
Speaker 3: These are kids that are at a prom at eleven
Speaker 3: pm and there's no drugs or alcohol, so they're trying
Speaker 3: to find fun.
Speaker 2: They kids are going to be sneaking in alcohol and
Speaker 2: they're gonna do drugs at home before they get there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but then that makes me feel like I want
Speaker 3: to be a parent and be like, well, this is
Speaker 3: no drugs and alcohol.
Speaker 1: I bitch because I'm sober too, don't sober, bitch. That's
Speaker 1: why I'm petty. I will be petty when I'm sober.
Speaker 3: I'll be like, oh, you having another drink.
Speaker 2: I guess we're doing wine early today before the sun
Speaker 2: goes down.
Speaker 1: Okay. I heard you had a lot of work to do,
Speaker 1: but you're still here. Okay. Sydney should be the last
Speaker 1: person telling somebody that they still here. Sydney is queen
Speaker 1: of the state. Like Sydney will close the party down.
Speaker 1: City would be like, y'all need me to help stack
Speaker 1: the chairs at the end of the night. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: is not.
Speaker 3: But I have drunk energy. Like people always think that
Speaker 3: I'm still lit, and I'm like, nah, I haven't had.
Speaker 1: It's almost like like crack energy, though, like it's like
Speaker 1: less drunk energy, more like crack energy. You Marino, Alcohol
Speaker 1: like is a you know, it's it's not a stimulant
Speaker 1: like you're gonna crash eventually. Amulant tequila makes me aggressive.
Speaker 1: I don't drink tequila because of course you do haircut
Speaker 1: like that is like only I trust myself off of tequila.
Speaker 1: Just tequila makes me fight bouncers. I've had a lot
Speaker 1: of sex on tequila.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it just makes me horny very mornings.
Speaker 1: It makes me fight.
Speaker 2: But but maybe for me, fighting is the first step
Speaker 2: of sex.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna punch you in the face and then I'm
Speaker 1: gonna sit on it. Okay, fabulous, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: F A b O l o us. You're terrible. So
Speaker 1: Hennessy is what you drink? Do you drink it on
Speaker 1: the rocks? Drink Oh that's disgusting. That's so nasty, disgusting.
Speaker 1: Made me a little crazynes here about that. I still
Speaker 1: I'm still drinks.
Speaker 3: So first of all, pineapple juice, all sugar, Hennessy all sugar.
Speaker 1: That's sugar on sugar. Hennessy is fire. And then you're
Speaker 1: putting sugar on type of fire. I feel like, no,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It actually aggravates it more, it makes it.
Speaker 1: I like I would say, I've been drinking it.
Speaker 2: I'm not king who introduced it introduced Hennessy to your
Speaker 2: black her neighborhood, her grandma, No, my second dad.
Speaker 1: Your second dad.
Speaker 2: Didn't want to be like a single parent, so she
Speaker 2: went and got me a second father, and he introduced me.
Speaker 1: Were you when he introduced you to Hennessy?
Speaker 2: I was young, just taking a tur kids in like
Speaker 2: the beginning of like minister Society, when they was hanging
Speaker 2: outside on the back porch with the older man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you you were cane. She was getting caine. Don't die.
Speaker 1: You were a Caine on the porch getting her corn rows. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was young.
Speaker 2: Listen, all he drunk was Hennessy. He had like this
Speaker 2: brown leather jacket. He used to keep the pint of
Speaker 2: Hennessy inside the inside pocket.
Speaker 1: Uh huh. Yeah. I tasted it when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is good. You were like nine.
Speaker 1: I was like nine, and your sister was braiding your
Speaker 1: hair and he was like, young man, you want of
Speaker 1: the brown juice. You hat them straight.
Speaker 2: Backs with the beads like a little.
Speaker 1: Boy he did.
Speaker 3: I could see that the energy that that little boy
Speaker 3: energy a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a super tomboy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And even though you dress up and I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 3: like you look you look great, but I still feel
Speaker 3: like you would definitely rough house rough house.
Speaker 1: You look like you wristling. Yeah, really yeah.
Speaker 2: Sydney sounds like that's what you want. You were like, yeah,
Speaker 2: not even she said not Now you look like you
Speaker 2: would like throw me around. Yeah. God, Cass is like,
Speaker 2: I'm in a relationship with someone that I'm not cheating
Speaker 2: on right now.
Speaker 1: Well, you know that's a good answer, she might listen to.
Speaker 1: Your girlfriend is great, thank you city. How do you
Speaker 1: know so much about her girlfriend? Well, i'd be stalking. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's good to know. It's not even really stocking. I'm
Speaker 1: very honest. I like liking sick Nile. Roll back to
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen and be like, double tap, you've got them shoes.
Speaker 1: They still look great. Yes, I mean me and parents,
Speaker 1: we have a connection. We do. Wow, just got real
Speaker 1: gay in here. Yeah, and it should be. You know
Speaker 1: what i mean. I'm tired of this like straight energy
Speaker 1: that you're always projecting at me. Were always talking about
Speaker 1: Dix and I'm like, you're not always talking. It's a
Speaker 1: damn lie. Since the host centennial is only four months in,
Speaker 1: we do not I've known you for four years.
Speaker 2: We talking about Dick maybe two months of the four
Speaker 2: years that we've known each other.
Speaker 1: It's a lot. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2: But I'm also like, you know what I mean, somebody
Speaker 2: who understands you was with dudes before.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that. Okay, let's get into that. It's great.
Speaker 2: I don't get great. I didn't like start dating women
Speaker 2: because I hate them. It just was like, I like men,
Speaker 2: but I love women.
Speaker 1: What do you like about men? The sex?
Speaker 2: Okay, the sex, the aggression. Like I was like, I
Speaker 2: had a lot of on call Dick, on call, Dick,
Speaker 2: give me a com Really, I didn't want the relationship
Speaker 2: portion of it.
Speaker 1: That's trash. I totally agree with you on that.
Speaker 3: But I'm so disconnected because it's been like almost five
Speaker 3: years since I've had penis and I can't even imagine
Speaker 3: it entering me.
Speaker 1: In my mouth. Oh that's not your truth. That's not
Speaker 1: your truth. That's not your truth at all. Oh.
Speaker 2: I mean because my ending is like a girlfriend and
Speaker 2: her husband, So I don't.
Speaker 3: So you wouldn't get married to a man and have
Speaker 3: a girlfriend. So you're a Spike Lee movie. That's what
Speaker 3: you want.
Speaker 1: You are Nola Darlings. You know she hates me. I
Speaker 1: watched it and I kind of had a connection.
Speaker 2: So no, she herself, she was stupid. Yeah, she gave
Speaker 2: the money back. I would have never given the money back.
Speaker 1: We're talking about she's got to have it on Netflix.
Speaker 1: Everything else about her, but also even her with a
Speaker 1: relationship with Opal that that was not the girl. The
Speaker 1: girl was pretty, yeah, but that wasn't a real like
Speaker 1: lesbian relate that was not using her. It wasn't. None
Speaker 1: of them were relationships. She was having sex with all.
Speaker 2: She was just having small feelings and sex right they
Speaker 2: were more so so.
Speaker 1: She was just trying to find herself. You said it lost.
Speaker 1: She lost. She's lost. She's lost some money back at
Speaker 1: the end. That was the dumbest shit I've ever seen them.
Speaker 1: She couldn't pay her rent and she was wind definitely lost,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. But the guy how much money.
Speaker 1: He sent her ten thousand dollars and she gave. She
Speaker 1: sent the ten thousand dollars back. She move and then
Speaker 1: she paid two hundred dollars for for every twenty one
Speaker 1: dress she could not afford. It was actually five hundred,
Speaker 1: five hundreds for every twenty one dress. And then she
Speaker 1: cut the dress up and put it on a canvas
Speaker 1: and was like, this is art. Yeah, and then she
Speaker 1: went out in that dress and she's like, don't treat
Speaker 1: me like I'm a whole. And I was like, since
Speaker 1: you got to come on your chair, you're pretty much more.
Speaker 1: You got a Monica Lewency staying on the dress, You're like,
Speaker 1: come on, it's fine on the front of the dress
Speaker 1: and the back of the dress. Anyway, No sledg shaving here.
Speaker 1: This is a sex positive podcast.
Speaker 3: This here, I just honestly want to talk about lesbian
Speaker 3: sex and yes, but I want to get back to
Speaker 3: the dick in Paris' life.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's let's do it. Can we talk about like
Speaker 1: a man that you felt like you needed to be
Speaker 1: petty too?
Speaker 2: I feel like all of them, yeah, I was in control,
Speaker 2: well mostly all of them.
Speaker 3: Since with glasses like that, I mean, she's not even
Speaker 3: her glasses on during sex.
Speaker 1: She wants it's aggressive. No, not glasses on door secks,
Speaker 1: you would take them. Let me see how you look
Speaker 1: without them. Why you're always making me talk me? Let
Speaker 1: me see you said always You've only been here one time.
Speaker 1: Let me see them all here. You lay a slow eye, No,
Speaker 1: I got I got great eyes. Yeah, okay, ya thought
Speaker 1: I was. I thought that you had.
Speaker 2: I thought you I did because Rick Ross has those
Speaker 2: same shapes.
Speaker 1: I just saw your eyes and I feel like you
Speaker 1: took my soul. Wow, Like they're powerful eyes.
Speaker 2: Sidney, you are an idiot. You have got to leave
Speaker 2: my house. You took my soul.
Speaker 1: Those are some powerful ass eyes. Okay, thank you. She's
Speaker 1: so dupe.
Speaker 3: But I mean, and I like that the color of
Speaker 3: the eyeball is off white and it's not.
Speaker 1: It's offset. Your eyes are not white. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: She said they're like she said white, They're all white
Speaker 2: and powerful.
Speaker 1: She's like, they're like they're like eggshells. They look pearl. Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: so what's the pettiest thing you've done to a dude,
Speaker 1: to a man, to a man. We want to hear that.
Speaker 1: Get down the nitty gritty. What man, did you put
Speaker 1: cabbage in his seated? I didn't. We went out to
Speaker 1: eat a lot when I was dating man, of course,
Speaker 1: because they don't cook. Yeah, they don't cook, and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna either because I don't like them. So, but
Speaker 1: you said you were here for the sex. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was here for the sex. So we have to go
Speaker 1: out and eat. But y'all were like in a relationship. No,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't call that in a relationship. I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that so much. That's me right now? Is
Speaker 1: we eat?
Speaker 2: Were still gonna eat? But I'm not You're not my man,
Speaker 2: none of my friend. We're just having sex. We know
Speaker 2: that we're having sex. Whatever you do in your other time,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't ask questions.
Speaker 1: I don't care. That's not my business. Okay, what's the
Speaker 1: pettiest I don't know a man? Did you ever cheat
Speaker 1: on a man? Did you did? A man's not cheating
Speaker 1: because she wasn't in a relationship I know, but but
Speaker 1: one guy for three years? Oh okay, so see you
Speaker 1: buried the lead. You buried the lead. Excuse me, Paris,
Speaker 1: how old are you? It's like you've had a long
Speaker 1: life of my friends had a lot of relationships early on.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six.
Speaker 2: Now twenty six is a damn lie. We will not
Speaker 2: have it at all, We will not.
Speaker 1: Fit have it. We don't believe you, liar. What is
Speaker 1: wrong with y'all? I was born in nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 1: So is I I was also born in nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 1: That's crazy, sixth Paris. I'll be twenty seven in November. Yes, wow, wow, Si,
Speaker 1: So I'm only a month older than you, two months
Speaker 1: older to you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I did that was like, how old are
Speaker 2: you when you had your first boyfriend?
Speaker 1: I had my first boyfriend in middle school? Fast? See
Speaker 1: she was grown the coldest water ever. Funny.
Speaker 2: Well, that was actually a good book I didn't have
Speaker 2: until I started having sex.
Speaker 1: Having sex is what major boobs? I think. So, I think. So,
Speaker 1: I think that's you have.
Speaker 3: Quite a story. I really feel like it should be
Speaker 3: a book. It sounds like a Lifetime movie to me.
Speaker 3: I don't think lifetimes like a Centric film. Centric is
Speaker 3: the Black People movie channel.
Speaker 1: Yeah TV, and they still have parenthood on their So
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend, you were in middle school? You got boobs?
Speaker 1: When was it? When did you lose your virtunity? Seventh grade? Wow,
Speaker 1: We're gonna turn the tables on this. So how were
Speaker 1: your petty at work with me? Sidney?
Speaker 2: You know, you know I wanted to pivot to you
Speaker 2: because you you wanted to pivot the conversation so fast.
Speaker 1: I doesn't want to talk about the deck. No, Cidy
Speaker 1: doesn't want to talk about when she lost her virginity
Speaker 1: because you know she knows I was gonna ask her,
Speaker 1: is it is it too early? No? I was like
Speaker 1: fourteen And what grade was that?
Speaker 2: Well, Sydney got left back, so she was in forty
Speaker 2: year to get left back.
Speaker 1: I started late. What was the grade you were supposed
Speaker 1: to be in Sydney.
Speaker 3: I'm so tired.
Speaker 1: It's so crazy.
Speaker 2: Because she said when she had text for the first time,
Speaker 2: her boobs came in.
Speaker 1: But you didn't have boobs. I had none. I was complete.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know the batteries where you have
Speaker 1: like the there's nothing and then that little nub.
Speaker 3: I have a little battery though, but yeah, I think
Speaker 3: the battery nub nub, that's what I us.
Speaker 1: And then I didn't have breasts. Literally most of my
Speaker 1: career as a as a dancer.
Speaker 3: A straight, as a straight woman. I mean, being straight
Speaker 3: is a career, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm not getting paid for this, that's useless.
Speaker 1: But I meant to talk to HR. I gotta talk
Speaker 1: to HR about what's happening in my life currently. I
Speaker 1: should be getting a bill paid or something. I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't get bill's way right now.
Speaker 2: I'm paying all of my bills, you know, close to
Speaker 2: on time by myself.
Speaker 1: We know you single. I think I think it's some
Speaker 1: money out there for you. I feel like, help me.
Speaker 2: She doesn't have to be a prostitute, Paris, help me
Speaker 2: get to this money. Listen, I think it's some money.
Speaker 2: I dated a lot early on Okay, and there's money
Speaker 2: out there. You can get money through conversation.
Speaker 1: A conversation. It ain't tricking if you got it. It's
Speaker 1: really not because once you get it, then you got it.
Speaker 3: But I don't even get what that means. It ain't
Speaker 3: tricking if you got it. Is that for the person
Speaker 3: who's giving the money.
Speaker 1: It ain't tricking. If I think if you're getting the money,
Speaker 1: that's how I always to the person that's receiving it.
Speaker 1: It's not tricking because you're getting the money. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that's what the definition of tricking is. I
Speaker 1: don't getting money to do things me, So, so paint
Speaker 1: the picture for me. You were painting you you were
Speaker 1: dating a lot, and you were getting a lot of
Speaker 1: money from conversation.
Speaker 2: It's because A dated young. So the first boyfriend serious
Speaker 2: deep thing was like the in and of high school.
Speaker 2: Deep thing, Okay, I mean yeah, the ending of high
Speaker 2: school and then like going into college, and he was
Speaker 2: giving you money.
Speaker 1: College boys don't have no damn money. He was a
Speaker 1: drug dealer. There you go that drug dealers are reference.
Speaker 3: They don't have no concept of like value of money,
Speaker 3: so they just.
Speaker 1: Throw that shit away. Yeah, but those are the ones
Speaker 1: you need. Because my friend is going I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't say her this was I was. I was like,
Speaker 1: we have things to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't in a white suit, being like you're Hona,
Speaker 2: that's my friend.
Speaker 1: She would never have a criokeed Wig on Orange is
Speaker 1: the new black. I I can't go to jail. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to I'm not taking the rap for you.
Speaker 1: I'm not trapped.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: She's on camera with a double bag like yours.
Speaker 2: But I don't think there's a lot of money in
Speaker 2: the drug game right now. So I wanted to tell
Speaker 2: her to find deal right now, they're not making money
Speaker 2: like they used to.
Speaker 1: They're not well, they're giving the drugs away to pretty girls.
Speaker 1: That's why, Well the economy is not doing that well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the drug game is just not as high as it's
Speaker 1: not what it was. You know, it's not what it was.
Speaker 1: His hilarious people eating type pods, so they don't need
Speaker 1: to do well. I wouldn't want to date anybody who's
Speaker 1: eating a typepod. Those are children, Those are children.
Speaker 2: And so we were together for three years and then
Speaker 2: I was I was kind of over it, and you
Speaker 2: just left freely. I didn't leave really because he didn't
Speaker 2: let me leave really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a drug dealer.
Speaker 2: We had several conversations and like I tried to ex
Speaker 2: for a break, like a week break.
Speaker 1: He was like, break your face and.
Speaker 2: He was like no oh. And then I like just
Speaker 2: like kind of left. But then he popped up.
Speaker 1: Of course that's the that's the drug dealer way, though
Speaker 1: the hood new way is to just pop up at
Speaker 1: your job or your mom's house. Him and my mom
Speaker 1: had like a really great bond, so they pay your mom.
Speaker 1: Maybe he was when your mother likes somebody too much,
Speaker 1: Like you were like, it's obvious that I don't want
Speaker 1: this person in my life. More it's there's there's a
Speaker 1: there's money changing hands.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean, but then I was just over
Speaker 2: I think I was. I just felt like I was
Speaker 2: young and I really wanted to get my hoe out of.
Speaker 1: Me and I couldn't do it in a relationships. So
Speaker 1: so how did you get out? Are you in the
Speaker 1: witness protection program? Did you kill him? Is that why
Speaker 1: you're saying you're twenty six when you're ready thirty five? No?
Speaker 2: No, I mean I got out because once he just
Speaker 2: didn't let me leave. Then I just started doing what
Speaker 2: I want and I just started acting single.
Speaker 1: Good for you and you were not afraid that he
Speaker 1: was gonna pull up and just like hit you with
Speaker 1: his car. Well, I never dated like super big guys.
Speaker 1: I dated guys that I.
Speaker 2: Knew if we had to tussle, it would be like
Speaker 2: a fair, a fair one, a good body. But it
Speaker 2: was just like it was a small body on to it.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a fair exchange to come down to it.
Speaker 1: I'm a whoop ye basically.
Speaker 3: In other words, let me tell you the pettiest thing
Speaker 3: I've done in a relationship with a man.
Speaker 1: We broke up.
Speaker 3: Well, I said I wanted a break or whatever, but
Speaker 3: that was I wanted.
Speaker 1: Him to change. But you can't tell a nigga who's
Speaker 1: not changing that you want to change. He's like, we
Speaker 1: want to break up, So I had a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of stuff at his place.
Speaker 3: I still have the key. I found out that I
Speaker 3: thought that he was still hooking up with a friend
Speaker 3: that was allegedly his best friend. So I ended up
Speaker 3: going to his house taking all my stuff, putting it
Speaker 3: in a bag.
Speaker 1: I did all his cocaine, I drank his beer, and
Speaker 1: then you did all the cocaine and drank the beer.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: And then I called like five people, like what should
Speaker 3: I do? Should I fuck up the apartment? And then
Speaker 3: finally I spoke to one friend. The fifth friend was like, girl,
Speaker 3: you got to get out of there, and you got
Speaker 3: to make sure he doesn't know that you're there. I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: I did the coke and the beer, so he gonna
Speaker 3: know that somebody was here.
Speaker 2: The locks liked this cocaine is good, this beer is
Speaker 2: too warm.
Speaker 3: She's like, no, put everything else back, like your stuff
Speaker 3: put So I put everything back exactly the way. Well,
Speaker 3: I was high, so who knows how I put it back.
Speaker 1: You just threw it on the ground. You're like, that's
Speaker 1: where it was when I got here. Yeah, So I
Speaker 1: I left and acted like I just never went there.
Speaker 1: And then he had hit me up. Like two days later,
Speaker 1: he's like, you need to give me my key two
Speaker 1: days later. It took him two days to realize his
Speaker 1: cocaine was missing.
Speaker 3: Maybe it was it was on a It was on
Speaker 3: a Sunday, so he probably was out, you know, brunching.
Speaker 3: He did for two days, and then he had work
Speaker 3: on Monday and Tuesday, so he wasn't doing drugs those day.
Speaker 1: But Wednesday comes keep the party going.
Speaker 2: Oh you don't you don't do that that that I
Speaker 2: hate Monday bumfore, I hate Mondays.
Speaker 1: You don't say I look my little friend tuesdays. That's
Speaker 1: alert three. You sure you don't be bumping up up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's literally.
Speaker 3: The That's the pettiest thing I've done to a dude,
Speaker 3: But I've never done anything like to a woman.
Speaker 1: Are you sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, when we actually finally did break up and whatever
Speaker 2: the case may be that he wants to call it,
Speaker 2: I was like, we still can have sex because the
Speaker 2: sex was good. But then he started lying about like
Speaker 2: stupid shit, like he got into a whole relationship and
Speaker 2: then tell me.
Speaker 1: That's how you get an STD just a whole relationship
Speaker 1: right by still having sex? Yes, by having sex with
Speaker 1: a person that you don't necessarily trust anymore together. I've
Speaker 1: never had an STD, so I think I'm fine on that.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're only twenty six. You got some times.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna chlamydia in your future. I don't see the.
Speaker 2: Ship in my future of my near nothing. I'm okay,
Speaker 2: you're near or nothing?
Speaker 1: Hey? Hey, are you shaming people who've had? Shaming people?
Speaker 2: Do you know how nasty our listeners are. Everybody listening
Speaker 2: right now is burning when they.
Speaker 1: Get and I'm glad. I'm glad that they had her,
Speaker 1: so I don't have to are you today? I'm being
Speaker 1: honestly me. Who is this? This is Marie Foster you're
Speaker 1: talking about? I hat's gon STD?
Speaker 2: Who the fuck had these STDs so I don't have
Speaker 2: to have them?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Well whatever, you're twenty six, no STDs, you ain't got
Speaker 3: no kids?
Speaker 1: Okay, whatever, bitch?
Speaker 2: That mean?
Speaker 1: I was blessed. That's whatever.
Speaker 2: You better buy some scratch offs at the port of
Speaker 2: thority because you're obviously living.
Speaker 1: You're very you lucky. I mean, we're so blessed to
Speaker 1: have you on this couch. I can't even believe that
Speaker 1: you came back here. You don't.
Speaker 2: You're never gonna get an STD, but you want to
Speaker 2: bust though, you want to boat nick just like, well,
Speaker 2: I got some shit from just in the air.
Speaker 1: That's fine.
Speaker 2: Like you can't stunt on us, like I don't even
Speaker 2: know I'm never gonna get an STD and be like
Speaker 2: taking twelve buses to get to Nashville STDs before.
Speaker 1: I think that there's still great people. Yeah, we're we
Speaker 1: overcame university. I thank you guys.
Speaker 2: I'm here.
Speaker 1: I'm here, and I ain't never going back. I ain't
Speaker 1: never going back to the clinic. Okay, I have not been.
Speaker 2: I just think that I had a good run, that's all.
Speaker 2: I just think I had a good run.
Speaker 1: You're hanging up your whole cloak. Good for you, man,
Speaker 1: I mean I still feel like you got some whole tennis,
Speaker 1: still got some whole Tennessee.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I think I lived through my whole friends now,
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: I think I'm on the same path. I think I
Speaker 1: had my fun. I had a good I had a
Speaker 1: good like a good two year home run. Two years.
Speaker 1: That's how long it lasted for you. Since two years.
Speaker 2: Then before I went out, I made sure I went
Speaker 2: out with a bang. So I definitely bang.
Speaker 1: Okay, that sounds like an STD did it sounds like
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was scared.
Speaker 2: You said you went off with it. You said you
Speaker 2: went out on the bank. So what was the bang?
Speaker 2: I tell us with three guys in like a three
Speaker 2: week span.
Speaker 1: That was a gag bank since supplying And she.
Speaker 2: Said said she said three weeks five centimeters.
Speaker 1: Hell no, that's cimeter. I mean you could they could
Speaker 1: stand farther apart than that.
Speaker 2: No, I don't want two dicks out at the same
Speaker 2: in the same space period. Yeah, that's too much. But
Speaker 2: two vaginas, two vaginas is fun.
Speaker 1: No, I'm okay, I don't want to know that too much.
Speaker 3: You look so disgusted. She's like one one and a half.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's it.
Speaker 2: Two over one, two vaginas over two dicks, I'll take it.
Speaker 1: Okay, that seemed like two vaina seems like more like
Speaker 1: too much work.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for sharing all this sexual stuff. I
Speaker 3: just want to know if you did anything petty at work.
Speaker 3: I did, h it's the pettiest thing you've done on
Speaker 3: the clock.
Speaker 2: Well, it was one o'clock, but it's because they told
Speaker 2: me they was firing me, so they told you.
Speaker 1: They told me on the phone them that I know,
Speaker 1: that's not petty, that's dumb of them. Manager.
Speaker 2: And he was like a gay guy, and I think
Speaker 2: he was just way too sassy, and he was used.
Speaker 1: To like bossing everybody around. Give me an example of
Speaker 1: his test.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I didn't know who he was
Speaker 2: when we talked, because I talked. I worked for a
Speaker 2: tim agency, so I never really had to see the
Speaker 2: managers ever. But then they hired this new guy and
Speaker 2: he called me in and I just didn't know, like somebody
Speaker 2: ever said some of the phone and you had to
Speaker 2: look at the phone like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you look like this every time.
Speaker 2: I So he did that, and I was kind of
Speaker 2: lost and irritated. So I just hung up the phone
Speaker 2: and left the phone off the hook.
Speaker 1: And left the desk. Leave the desk. He's the new manager,
Speaker 1: and he said to you, we're gonna have to let
Speaker 1: you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I he thought I showed up late, but
Speaker 2: they sent me the wrong location to go to. So
Speaker 2: I was at the wrong location, but the right location
Speaker 2: that they sent me.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's not your fault, That's what I was saying.
Speaker 2: But he was still just talking ship it was too early,
Speaker 2: So you feel like arguing, ed, where did you work at?
Speaker 1: Tim agency? Is a concierge in the front of apartment buildings?
Speaker 1: That means you had like a cool little blazer on,
Speaker 1: you had a little ball. You were concierge at a
Speaker 1: at different buildings before agencies with a hotel, no apartment buildings.
Speaker 1: There's concierge an apartment buildings. Okay, you're asking the real
Speaker 1: questions luxury apartment buildings. So you're doing in front desk.
Speaker 2: You're checking people in, not really checking people in, more
Speaker 2: so helping people.
Speaker 1: With Were you helping people? You were sitting there? They
Speaker 1: had packages.
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not checking a package. You got to
Speaker 2: use the back entrance, sir. No, no, I'm not signing
Speaker 2: for that.
Speaker 1: No you can, sir, sir. You can't leave that box here.
Speaker 1: You got to go the back way.
Speaker 2: I mean, it was it was a cool It was
Speaker 2: a cool job. You didn't work all eight hours.
Speaker 1: I mean you didn't really work all eight hours. You
Speaker 1: sat there a lot of the time. See, I don't
Speaker 1: like I don't like jobs that you sit a lot
Speaker 1: because it actually it makes your butt flatter. Just to
Speaker 1: let you guys know, I'm telling you shouldn't be sitting
Speaker 1: there like for eight hours. It's a long time, because
Speaker 1: that's why I asked it so fat because you stand.
Speaker 3: I don't know where you got this ship from. Okay,
Speaker 3: before you're getting your that geo facts from. But no,
Speaker 3: I'm only twenty six, so I haven't really lived.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you don't think I lived? Wow, Well, I
Speaker 2: guess I'll just keep living.
Speaker 1: It sounds like more than me I think I did.
Speaker 1: I think you're started early. You're definitely writing a book,
Speaker 1: They're gonna have a show, So definitely. It's a lot.
Speaker 1: It's a lot more.
Speaker 2: We can't get into it all today, but the pettiness
Speaker 2: lives on forever. I'll just tell everybody, don't get mad,
Speaker 2: get petty. If you got cheated on and you're gonna stay.
Speaker 1: Don't get upset. Just cheat back if you're gonna stay anyway,
Speaker 1: I mean, what's the point. So is that what you've done?
Speaker 1: Somebody you don't use? You cheated on the back.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If I know I'm not gonna leave, why am
Speaker 2: I gonna cry and throw this whole fit and then
Speaker 2: go back.
Speaker 1: I think that's a waste of time.
Speaker 3: I hate that and I hate people like that and
Speaker 3: talk to these friends. It's like, dude, you sound like
Speaker 3: a broken record. I know you going back to Yes, dude, shut.
Speaker 1: The f up, So just cheat and go back. I
Speaker 1: don't know, just it sounds like a lot of work. Really.
Speaker 1: Why if I'm with you and you cheat on me,
Speaker 1: then it's done right. But if I cheat on you,
Speaker 1: then like you should not be so subsitive. You know.
Speaker 1: I also believe that cheated on don't they always go back?
Speaker 1: So I don't think cheating is a deal breaker. What
Speaker 1: who are you Beyonce? It's not to hard side. Chicks
Speaker 1: are good. What she said, well, because she was she's
Speaker 1: losing it. She's going through it.
Speaker 2: She said, sheidicks as long as you be upfront with
Speaker 2: them in the beginning.
Speaker 1: So she tort Kevin Hart's ex wife.
Speaker 3: Oh, he didn't give her some money. He gave her
Speaker 3: some money. He was like, he was like, stop talking
Speaker 3: about me. You have to promote the propaganda right now.
Speaker 1: He's like, here's some money, here's your little spousal support.
Speaker 1: Yeah something. Because that doesn't even sound like her when
Speaker 1: she's changing, she's going through this phase is bad. I
Speaker 1: don't know, well, I mean, I don't think that side
Speaker 1: chicks are good. I don't think they're bad. I think
Speaker 1: that if you if I mean, I think that if
Speaker 1: we agree up top that this is just like a
Speaker 1: like a casual thing, then it's not a side chick.
Speaker 2: That's just you doing you and I'm doing me. I
Speaker 2: think two women and you can have a subject, but
Speaker 2: you can't.
Speaker 1: Kidding me no, because afford to No, it's not.
Speaker 2: That's why he has to be able to afford his
Speaker 2: main girl, and he has to have a little more
Speaker 2: that he can give her. No, but that's she can
Speaker 2: be broke. You can't take but you know, main girl
Speaker 2: and give to your side check.
Speaker 1: That's stupid. You have many you know how many broke
Speaker 1: people in this building? Cheap probably, And that's what I
Speaker 1: don't agree with. Broke cheating. Yeah, no, you gotta step
Speaker 1: your uh. You gotta be in a certain tax bracket
Speaker 1: to cheat, right, Okay, I hear what you're saying. That's why.
Speaker 1: That's why, Beyonce exactly. I just don't believe that you
Speaker 1: can have a whole other relationship.
Speaker 3: How do you have the time emotionally? That's a lot
Speaker 3: like im because you.
Speaker 1: Tell so I used to be a sad check at
Speaker 1: one point in my life too.
Speaker 2: I know you're speaking like I tell listen, you have
Speaker 2: to tell your sad check the one hundred percent truth.
Speaker 2: That's how you keep them balanced. You can't lie to
Speaker 2: your check her thinking to your sad check.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Then that's when the problem happens because you're already lying
Speaker 2: to your girlfriend or your wife.
Speaker 1: You can't lie to two people. You have to tell
Speaker 1: one truth. I mean, if I'm lining to one, what's
Speaker 1: lying to another?
Speaker 2: Because you're gonna get caught up in your lives because
Speaker 2: you have to tell them two different lines.
Speaker 1: No, if I tell it like what if I write?
Speaker 1: What if I have an Excel spreadsheet with all my
Speaker 1: lies on it? You don't have that much time looking around, Like,
Speaker 1: hold on one second, me just check my check my
Speaker 1: Google doc. I'm gonna write a book. Lies from the sideline.
Speaker 1: That's a good line. Lies from the side line, that's honestly.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's gonna be a oh absolutely, But
Speaker 1: didn't you know you were a side ship. I was
Speaker 1: in this.
Speaker 3: Man's house, he's full on married, Like it was so
Speaker 3: scary because the whole time I was there, it was like, Yo,
Speaker 3: she's gonna come here, she's gonna have somebody else coming here, Like,
Speaker 3: there's no.
Speaker 1: Way she was married. Yeah, this is her home, she
Speaker 1: lived there, did you look at it?
Speaker 3: She was in she was in another state, she had
Speaker 3: a gig or something like that, and I was there
Speaker 3: a working woman. Yeah, oh no, like super established like
Speaker 3: these were just like I shouldn't.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't even put myself in that situation. But I
Speaker 1: did shout out to Patron giving me the confidence that
Speaker 1: you need to be in another bitch's house. This podcast,
Speaker 1: this podcast is not sponsored by Patron now or Hennessy,
Speaker 1: but it should be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was definitely And then I was looking at
Speaker 3: her close and just looking you tried it on a jacket. No,
Speaker 3: she had totally different body type than me. She had
Speaker 3: wife body, and I was side chick body, not even
Speaker 3: side check. I shouldn't have just I shouldn't even have
Speaker 3: been in the running for anything. She had a wife body,
Speaker 3: was that hips and ass, Oh great body.
Speaker 1: If I show you, if I show you a picture,
Speaker 1: you'd be like, this was cheating on on her with you? Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're definitely Wow. Not saying like I'm not shit, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying.
Speaker 2: Like I mean it sounds like you're not. I am
Speaker 2: in that situation, in that scenario.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have.
Speaker 2: But at the time I was twenty six and okay, okay,
Speaker 2: so this is yesterday.
Speaker 1: Okay. I had to know the STD so I was like,
Speaker 1: live my life.
Speaker 2: That's why I started before twenty six, so I want
Speaker 2: to have to wait until Yeah, but you don't know.
Speaker 1: You don't know what your life is going to turn into.
Speaker 1: You don't know that you should be a hole young.
Speaker 1: You don't know that when you're thirty, people gonna look
Speaker 1: at you and be like, oh you you out here
Speaker 1: in these streets. Really, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just feel like you were maybe you were maybe
Speaker 2: you were in your work done fifteen minutes into class
Speaker 2: because I didn't realize that, like oh now.
Speaker 1: It's peak whole time as a child.
Speaker 2: But I had older friends so they was already being
Speaker 2: ho so they were teaching me each one teach one, right.
Speaker 1: Oh well, the more you know, the more you know.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you want to leave our listeners with, like,
Speaker 1: any any tips on properly being petty, any tip anything
Speaker 1: you shouldn't do when you're trying to be petty, Like
Speaker 1: anything that's off limits when it comes to.
Speaker 2: I don't think nothing's off limits when it comes to
Speaker 2: being petty.
Speaker 1: Oh that's her show, that's him. Yeah, Oh wow, Sidney,
Speaker 1: these photos, I can't even I can't believe.
Speaker 2: I think you should go above and beyond. Yeah, she
Speaker 2: looks like she looks like a basketball wife. She do,
Speaker 2: But he also looks like a cheater. He looks like
Speaker 2: his and.
Speaker 1: Her face looked like he got all the time. And
Speaker 1: when you're gone is woman here? He definitely looks like
Speaker 1: at the core of his his face, he looks like
Speaker 1: the moment he takes her to the airport is another
Speaker 1: girl coming to the house. He has got the Tristan
Speaker 1: Thompson vibe.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Tristan Thompson smile in his face, Okay, I mean,
Speaker 2: I mean, but she's gorgeous. She is gorgeous, But she
Speaker 2: also looks like when she's on her gig, she may
Speaker 2: go on dates, she might not.
Speaker 1: She know that he's cheating. She doesn't look bothered. She
Speaker 1: looks like, Okay, he can do his thing, but I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do mine too. But I'm not gonna like like,
Speaker 1: that's not my color lipstick. This is day dates. When
Speaker 1: she's out of town. She absolutely, yeah, this is one hundred. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is who this is.
Speaker 2: I just saw the name on the Oh. She absolutely
Speaker 2: goes on day dates. If a colleague is like, hey,
Speaker 2: uh you want.
Speaker 1: To go, she she's gonna let them pay for her.
Speaker 1: And she might let him touch the titties. She might
Speaker 1: let him findle the boo. No pictures, but definitely he
Speaker 1: might could touch them. Right, he absolutely gonna touch them.
Speaker 1: And she's been working out. I was like, damn, dude, yeah,
Speaker 1: because she's got many men in her life.
Speaker 2: Many men put cac on me.
Speaker 1: Listen, Paris, you were leaving us with something I feel
Speaker 1: like deep. It wasn't.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it was deep. I was just saying,
Speaker 2: it's I don't think there's no limits to ben petty.
Speaker 2: I think go above and beyond when you're being petty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, be all that you can be. Wait, but what
Speaker 1: if it's friendships, Because I feel like, if you can
Speaker 1: even pay, you don't really want to be that person's friends.
Speaker 1: That bad because I couldn't see myself like say, for instance,
Speaker 1: me and you have a falling out, right, we could
Speaker 1: be petty, but that means we don't want to restore
Speaker 1: anything at all right, that's what I want to say.
Speaker 2: Now, if you're going to go back, yeah, it's no
Speaker 2: point of being petty to the extreme if you're gonna
Speaker 2: go back. But I don't think y'all friendship will get
Speaker 2: to that.
Speaker 1: Level of petty.
Speaker 2: But you feel like it's but see patty, and it's
Speaker 2: still a friendship, not petty on like I'm trying to
Speaker 2: shoot on this bitch petty, right.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think because I think that's when we
Speaker 1: say the word petty, it sounds like capital letters petty.
Speaker 1: But you could be petty in like small ways too.
Speaker 1: You could like.
Speaker 2: Friendship, petty is fine, but if you don't have any
Speaker 2: regards and becoming the person for and again I say
Speaker 2: go all out, Wow, Ben, Patty is not about saving
Speaker 2: anyone feelings. I don't care. My whole job is to win,
Speaker 2: just to win. All she does is win, win, no
Speaker 2: matter what.
Speaker 1: All she does is win, win, win, no matter what
Speaker 1: they say there. So that's it.
Speaker 2: I just say, just don't get mad, just get petty
Speaker 2: on all levels beautiful.
Speaker 1: That's can you just hit us with your social media?
Speaker 1: Where can people find you? At Paris? And my website
Speaker 1: is official Paris dot com. I was gonna get into
Speaker 1: the spell again from last week.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it and but the listeners didn't hear
Speaker 2: this part of the say right. So white guy early
Speaker 2: on two years in my career, bought Paris dot Com,
Speaker 2: didn't tell me.
Speaker 1: Later told me to come and meet Christopher Columbus. He's
Speaker 1: a lawyer.
Speaker 2: So he later told me to come to lunch about
Speaker 2: some deals and then deals.
Speaker 1: Freaking Josh Man. He was into the.
Speaker 2: Drinks and then he was like, hey, have you tried
Speaker 2: to get a website recently? And I was like, why'd
Speaker 2: you ask that? Because I already knew it was something coming.
Speaker 2: And he was like, I bought your name when you
Speaker 2: first started because I knew he was gonna be big,
Speaker 2: freaking freaking Travis fucking Edward freaking Tedward right.
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, said it to me. He
Speaker 1: was like, I'll send it to you.
Speaker 2: But then two months past he didn't send it to me,
Speaker 2: so I emailed him and then he was like, oh,
Speaker 2: going to get it to you when I get a chance,
Speaker 2: and I just was like, you can keep it, okay.
Speaker 1: So he was holding your website name that you had
Speaker 1: not yet tried to start hostage. What was this business deal?
Speaker 1: What was this business deal that you went to?
Speaker 2: He wanted to talk about something that's a lie.
Speaker 1: That's a lie exactly.
Speaker 3: He said, lobster and he he's gonna be there, and
Speaker 3: she came lobster.
Speaker 1: He said, no garlic butter, just dip hanny butter on
Speaker 1: your I stopped. Actually, I had.
Speaker 2: One cup of Hennessy right before you told me. Then
Speaker 2: I was like, I'll take some water because I wanted.
Speaker 1: To hear more.
Speaker 2: You had a cup of Hennessy, not a glass, you know,
Speaker 2: the glass of Hennessy.
Speaker 1: I hate you.
Speaker 2: At the same point, I was like, Okay, it's time
Speaker 2: to stop drinking and really.
Speaker 1: Listen to this because I feel like this white man
Speaker 1: is trying to own me. I don't trust white people.
Speaker 1: I will never drink a cup of Hennessy in the
Speaker 1: midst of white get a glass of Hennessy either. You're
Speaker 1: not catching me slipping and being super nigga. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean one couple of Hennessy. Drinking a couple of Hennessy
Speaker 1: in front of white people. You're gonna on the boat, Well,
Speaker 1: I've done it thus far. I haven't really been on
Speaker 1: the boat yet. You don't remember being on a boat.
Speaker 1: But she was on the boat.
Speaker 2: The boat, what Amina's boat?
Speaker 1: Wait? So this so Joshua says, I bought the domain
Speaker 1: name two years ago. When I saw that's crazy. That's
Speaker 1: lifetime movie behavior right there. It really was. And he
Speaker 1: was like, oh, she she's the one. He bought the name.
Speaker 1: He was, he was on his way out. He was like,
Speaker 1: what did you say That comedian's name was Paris Sash?
Speaker 1: He spelled you know, yeah, straight white men don't how
Speaker 1: to spell. Is this Sash like a Sasha? Is it
Speaker 1: Sasha with the a at the end? Okay, bought the name.
Speaker 1: Then he reaches out to you two years later. Oh
Speaker 1: he was peeping indo.
Speaker 2: He was already he already had shipped, backed up and
Speaker 2: built up.
Speaker 1: So I was just like, I'll just a self defense class.
Speaker 2: But I think now like he let it go or
Speaker 2: something because I just stopped contacting him.
Speaker 1: So he sends me messages.
Speaker 3: I don't respond, and he already sees that you're flourishing
Speaker 3: with out that fucking website.
Speaker 2: So your wee it's official Parasa dot com.
Speaker 1: I mean you sound like a mixtape rapper, but it's fine. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I might drop some hits on. I mean
Speaker 1: you look like a rapper. I can see you're doing
Speaker 1: some can you can you wrap? I got a couple,
Speaker 1: I got a couple of bars. Can can you leave
Speaker 1: us with some bars?
Speaker 4: You can leave us with those bars? No, that was
Speaker 4: the worst beat. Your hand is too dry, it's too
Speaker 4: flat knuckles. It's like you have a small hand with
Speaker 4: that beat, Sydney, I hate it.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do it today, Sydney.
Speaker 2: You want to influence everybody to be petty over the weekend.
Speaker 2: Do something that you've been wanting to do for a
Speaker 2: long time. Girl, there's gonna be so many fights starting.
Speaker 2: They're gonna be in our dams like that.
Speaker 1: Paris trouble Baker, Yes she is petty. Okay, we interrupted you.
Speaker 1: Where can people catch you? Official Parasas dot com and
Speaker 1: then what else?
Speaker 2: Uh at Paris on Instagram, Parasage on Facebook, Twitter, Parasasha, Parasasha.
Speaker 1: Paris, good luck with the mall stuff. We honestly heart
Speaker 1: you so much. And if we do a live show,
Speaker 1: I totally want you to be there, Definitely, I'll be there.
Speaker 2: I love you girls too, black girl, thank you, Okay,
Speaker 2: getting too love you.
Speaker 1: It really doesn't like too much sex, too much love.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, Sydney. Sydney don't like me talking about
Speaker 1: six I don't, which is crazy, like I just became
Speaker 1: a holy Honestly, she won't let me talk. Okay, Now
Speaker 1: now is the time before I make money people, before
Speaker 1: she gets real into her. I mean Rihanna is doing it.
Speaker 1: I mean no one's dropping sex stories on her because
Speaker 1: they want to come back.
Speaker 2: That's how fire the pussy is, so you gotta do its.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Sydney. It was beautiful seeing you here. God,
Speaker 1: this was so fun.
Speaker 3: You know you can always catch us on Instagram at
Speaker 3: Unofficial Expert. We had a our monthly show at hot
Speaker 3: Box at one one Christy Street next Wednesday, twenty fifty
Speaker 3: fifth at eight pm.
Speaker 1: Yes, please come through, slide through, come and bring cash
Speaker 1: because we will be taking cash at the door front
Speaker 1: people who listen and saying I love you guys. If
Speaker 1: you're not on Patreon, we'll take the money up front
Speaker 1: at the show.
Speaker 2: At the show, shout out to everybody who who just
Speaker 2: listens to the podcast. We love you, Hi, Wally, Wally,
Speaker 2: All right, come go over to the Patreon and listen
Speaker 2: to the messiness there also bye guys.