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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. But before that, we got a teeny two

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Speaker 1: minute break from the sponsors that keep this show propped

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Speaker 1: up like a little house. Oh yeah, my brother in

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Speaker 1: law insulted my husband's job, so I pointed out that

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Speaker 1: he was broke.

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Speaker 2: Just because you've got a law degreed don't mean you're

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Speaker 2: using it.

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Speaker 1: Wait and overthink.

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Speaker 2: Just because you're educated, don't mean you're making money.

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Speaker 1: Ignore any grammar or spelling mistakes. I'm using a phone

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Speaker 1: and autocorrect is exhausting. My thirty eight female younger sister

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Speaker 1: thirty five female, and her husband thirty six male, have

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Speaker 1: six kids. They don't have high paying jobs and can

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Speaker 1: barely afford to go by a month. I always give

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Speaker 1: them part of my income every month. I'm not on

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Speaker 1: good terms with my brother in law. Sometimes he's rude

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Speaker 1: and I don't like to be around him. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from a deleted user, And if you want

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Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 1: okay Storytime subreddit submit them there. So recently, I got

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Speaker 1: married to my wonderful husband, Danny thirty six mail after

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Speaker 1: four years of data. He is an amazing guy. We

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Speaker 1: had a beautiful baby boy who's six months old. Danny

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Speaker 1: didn't receive a good education and he didn't have a

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Speaker 1: degree and couldn't go to high school. He worked as

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Speaker 1: a truck driver and now he's a janitor at a

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Speaker 1: middle school. He doesn't like people paying for him. Two

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Speaker 1: years into our relationship, he was still using his bicycle

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Speaker 1: and said it was just like a car. I bought

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Speaker 1: him a car as a wedding gift. He was so happy.

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Speaker 1: His smile and hug brought me unimaginable joy. Recently, Danny

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Speaker 1: wanted to buy a laptop. His birthday was soon, so

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Speaker 1: I decided to buy him that laptop as a gift.

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Speaker 1: So I had to use part of the money that

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Speaker 1: I kept for my sister. I invited my sister and

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Speaker 1: her kids to dinner, and I haven't seen her this week.

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Speaker 1: I visit every week. Brother in law came as well.

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Speaker 1: I always try to avoid him, but we can manage

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Speaker 1: to eat dinner without fighting. At least. I told my

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Speaker 1: sister that for the next month, I'll only be giving

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Speaker 1: her a thousand dollars because I'll be using the rest

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Speaker 1: for us. She didn't like that, but she was fine

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Speaker 1: with it. Brother in law wasn't fine at all, though.

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Speaker 1: He thinks I'm wrong for not giving them that money

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Speaker 1: when they desperately need it and instead are using it

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Speaker 1: for unnecessary stuff. He went as far as giving his

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Speaker 1: opinion and advice aka insulting my husband and saying that

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Speaker 1: it's sad that all I can afford is to marry

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Speaker 1: a garbage man who was a truck driver, saying imagine

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Speaker 1: the kind of language he'd be using, and other very

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Speaker 1: insulting things.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what's that one term that literally goes perfectly with this?

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Speaker 2: We don't buy the hand that.

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Speaker 1: We don't bite the hand that feeds.

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Speaker 2: This is why are we doing this? Why are we

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Speaker 2: hitting the self destruct button when we get a little

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Speaker 2: less per month?

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Speaker 1: Because brother in law's Oh my god, brother in law's

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Speaker 1: got problems. Brother in law has low self worth hm

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Speaker 1: and takes it out on others. That's my guess. Ironically,

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Speaker 1: my husband is way more civilized than brother in law

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Speaker 1: and is respectful, open minded, smart, kind, generous, humble, and

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Speaker 1: doesn't have an ounce of entitlement in his body, everything

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Speaker 1: that brother in law lacks. And he's also really handsome.

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Speaker 1: I got mad and made fun of him for being poor.

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Speaker 1: That's a bad look, ope, But you were pushed to

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Speaker 1: that point and that I'd pray for them to survive

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Speaker 1: a month with their half dozen kids without my leftovers.

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Speaker 1: Why I might be a hole here? Their kids were

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Speaker 1: around and heard what I said.

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Speaker 2: Ooh you you this, this was where you were, This

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Speaker 2: is where he was, and you went to his level.

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Speaker 2: Now you feel bad because you know what level you're

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Speaker 2: supposed to be at, but you went to their level.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's probably not a very good uh. If anything,

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Speaker 1: maybe now that his own kids are shaming him for

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Speaker 1: being broke, maybe that will inspire him to grow all

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Speaker 1: harder to gain more income.

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Speaker 2: Also, you got six kids and you're poor.

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Speaker 1: Dude, dude, It might look as if I was bragging

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Speaker 1: or shaming my sister finally doing the thing that made

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Speaker 1: me mad at brother in law for doing Why I

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Speaker 1: might not be the a holes because I was defending

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Speaker 1: my husband, who wasn't around to defend himself against all

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Speaker 1: these insulting comments that came out of my ridiculous, entitled

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Speaker 1: brother in law's mouth. Am I the A hole was

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Speaker 1: a hypocrite? So I don't know, Riley, what would you say?

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Speaker 1: Are they the a hole in front of the kids?

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Speaker 2: Yes, I don't think the kids need to know that.

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Speaker 1: Accidentally in front of the kids though, a front of

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Speaker 1: the goods.

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Speaker 2: Hiding playing high seek and like one of them was

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Speaker 2: on the six of them.

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Speaker 3: What dad's poor?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean that's all right? Makes them hearty? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: tough strength, its strengthened.

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Speaker 2: In front of the kids. It would it just basically

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Speaker 2: putting unnecessary stress on the kids where they're now thinking like, oh, shoot,

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Speaker 2: do I have to worry about eating?

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Speaker 1: Like is that? What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: Dad's poor?

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Speaker 1: What? Like they put?

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Speaker 2: You push that kind of stress on the kids if

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Speaker 2: it's accidentally understand that. I just think it's a hole

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Speaker 2: in front of the goods. But like the kids aren't there.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, no, you are not the a hole? Yeah whatsoever?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna say, not the Ale, not the Ale

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Speaker 1: kids accident. Didn't do that on purpose. If you did

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Speaker 1: that on purpose, that's definitely an Ale move. This guy

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Speaker 1: needs to shut his dumb, broke mouth. Let's get into

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Speaker 1: the comments. Number one, not the Ahle. At this rate,

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Speaker 1: I would just cut off the funding entirely. You have

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Speaker 1: your own family to think about. Your sister and brother

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Speaker 1: in law should have financially planned for six kids without

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Speaker 1: your help or money. Oh, he says, to be fair,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't always the one helping them out back when

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Speaker 1: they had just three kids. Our parents were the ones

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Speaker 1: helping her after they passed away. I started doing that instead.

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Speaker 1: And reply, why on earth did they have three more

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Speaker 1: kids if they couldn't afford the first three? Also not

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Speaker 1: the ahole reply They already had people supporting the three.

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Speaker 1: They had no incentive to stop having kids. Then OP

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Speaker 1: just continued what her parents started. OP has a child

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Speaker 1: and a future to plan for her. Sister's family is

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Speaker 1: not her responsibility. She needs to stop enabling them. Another

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Speaker 1: reply here, they kept having kids because others pay for

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Speaker 1: those kids. Her parents started enabling, and now OP does

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Speaker 1: that is true? Financial help needs to stop. Sister and

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Speaker 1: brother in law can figure it out. They've had years

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Speaker 1: of help where they could have tooken on a trade

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Speaker 1: or put themselves in a better financial situation, but instead

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Speaker 1: are using their kids to mooch off of others. And

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Speaker 1: here's an update from the husband's point of view.

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Speaker 2: Whoa the nice guy?

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Speaker 1: Yes, said the one who was being insulted by the

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Speaker 1: brother in law.

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Speaker 2: Dude, he's about to this is what's gonna happen. He's

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Speaker 2: gonna come in here and be like, you know, brother

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Speaker 2: in law's a nice guy. I understanding he's stressed out.

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Speaker 2: He's not gonna say a single bat about the brother

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Speaker 2: in law.

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Speaker 1: Also sorry.

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Speaker 2: Another thing that came to mind. I understand taking away

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Speaker 2: the money, but I'd be afraid of the kids, like

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Speaker 2: not I don't know, being okay. I'd maybe give gift

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Speaker 2: cards or like some food or something so the kids

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Speaker 2: are all right, or like checking in with the kids.

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Speaker 1: Like my brother was.

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Speaker 2: Like being an idiot and had a bunch of kids,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, dude, you're not gonna make it like

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Speaker 2: h Like I know, I know what you do for

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Speaker 2: a living, Like I'm not. I mean, I'm doing all

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Speaker 2: right for myself. But like, if I knew that he

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Speaker 2: was being insulting to me and my wife, I'd probably

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Speaker 2: be like, Okay, kids, how are we doing.

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Speaker 1: You can buy some groceries. Yeah, buy the groceries. Make

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Speaker 1: sure there's food in the pantry. Hello, everyone, I hope

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Speaker 1: you're doing well. We made this post a while ago,

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Speaker 1: and we were both reading the comments. We took your

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Speaker 1: advice and decided to slowly cut the allowance since kids

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Speaker 1: are involved, from two thousand to fifteen hundred to one thousand,

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Speaker 1: et cetera. We couldn't bring ourselves to cut it off

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Speaker 1: all at once, which I think is fair. My wife

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Speaker 1: called my sister in law, who unexpectedly brought her husband, Oliver.

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Speaker 1: We started talking, and we told them that we should

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Speaker 1: save and take care of ourselves and our future alongside

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Speaker 1: our son's future. We told them our plan to cut

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Speaker 1: the allowance, and we told them that other resources are

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Speaker 1: available for people who need them, which would be y'all.

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Speaker 1: Oliver got mad and said that they have kids too,

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Speaker 1: and they need the money to live in acceptable childhood.

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Speaker 1: I told them to try again and find second jobs,

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Speaker 1: even if they thought it was tiring, and that they

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Speaker 1: should work for their family as parents. Oliver said that

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Speaker 1: they weren't talking to me and to not interfere since

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Speaker 1: it wasn't my money. Fighting Oliver is exhausting and a

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Speaker 1: waste of time. He isn't a civilized guy. My wife

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Speaker 1: isn't good at ignoring it. She got mad and asked

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Speaker 1: him to shut up and that their family isn't our responsibility.

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Speaker 1: They started fighting and it got heated. He can't insult

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Speaker 1: her money wise, and isn't great at pointing at anything

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Speaker 1: other than money and me. Of course, it didn't end

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Speaker 1: the way that we planned due to his insults. We

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Speaker 1: told them that we changed our mind and decided to

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Speaker 1: cut it all at once. You fed around. Then you

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Speaker 1: found out, Oliver, who is this stinky brother in law?

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Speaker 1: Now from the first part of the story. Uh yeah, Oliver,

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Speaker 1: I just found out what to do with the goods?

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Speaker 1: What do you do?

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Speaker 2: I'm creating an instacart and we are giving them old

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Speaker 2: loggins and they have a budget per month, and they

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Speaker 2: get to order food to the house okay, and then

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Speaker 2: they come to my house and I give them cooking

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Speaker 2: lessons so they can they know how to.

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Speaker 1: Like that's double care for themselves, double okay, teaching them

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Speaker 1: a skill and giving them groceries. Let's go. Oliver started

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Speaker 1: apologizing after we said that, but not to me. My

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Speaker 1: wife pointed out that since she isn't the person that

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Speaker 1: could accept that apology, she would ask them to leave.

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Speaker 1: Sister in law said, we know her husband doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: what he says, and that we're focusing on his words

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Speaker 1: too much, and that if we're okay with their kids

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Speaker 1: having a hard time, then so be it. Before going

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Speaker 1: after her husband, sister in law used her last card

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Speaker 1: their parents and it broke her heart. She tried contacting

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Speaker 1: her numerous times, but sister in law isn't picking up

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Speaker 1: or responding to the texts. We don't plan on backing

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Speaker 1: out of our decision. We have to think about ourselves

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Speaker 1: and our family. Yet my wife still wants a relationship

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Speaker 1: with her sister. She doesn't want to think that her

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Speaker 1: sister only talks to her because she gives her money,

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Speaker 1: and I truly wish this wasn't the case and for

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Speaker 1: sister in law to contact her again. As to people's questions, one,

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Speaker 1: my wife doesn't think that her sister was the favorite child,

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Speaker 1: but she was the younger child, so it was a

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Speaker 1: bit different. And Two, sister in law never mentioned or

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Speaker 1: complained about her husband being a towards her or anything.

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Speaker 1: Three For people who asked if I wanted to complete

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Speaker 1: my education, I was embarrassed at first, but as I'm matured,

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Speaker 1: I'm fine with myself in my job. I don't mind

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Speaker 1: being a janitor. I like the kids at school, and

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Speaker 1: if I wasn't a janitor, maybe I would have chosen

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Speaker 1: to be a teacher. By the way, you can choose

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Speaker 1: to listen to full episodes with stories like this. All

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Speaker 1: you gotta do is go to iHeartRadio or to Spotify

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Speaker 1: or Apple podcasts wherever you listen and search. Okay, storytime

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Speaker 1: and what will they find?

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Speaker 2: Riley dud A plethora stories just as crazy as these?

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Speaker 1: A Plethorah. Okay, let's finish the story. The fourth question

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Speaker 1: that the husband is answering to address the DMS. First, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not using my wife for her money. My wife

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Speaker 1: does pay more than I do, but I do contribute

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Speaker 1: as well. For example, while she paid for the wedding,

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Speaker 1: I bought the rings, crappy rings, but we love them.

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Speaker 1: She pays the bills and I buy the groceries. She

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Speaker 1: bought me my car, and I bought her new shoes,

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Speaker 1: so on and so forth. Second, No, I will not

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Speaker 1: save up money and then dump her. What kind of

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Speaker 1: suggestion is that you love it?

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Speaker 2: I you know what I loved about that they have

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Speaker 2: a system and they're sticking to it and they're not

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Speaker 2: comparing to others. That's what they do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's almost like they love each other for who

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Speaker 1: they are and not what they do or how much

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Speaker 1: money they make. Crazy, what a crazy thought. We got

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Speaker 1: some comments here. You made the right decision. Your sister

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Speaker 1: in law and her husband are taking you for granted,

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Speaker 1: acting very entitled in treating you badly. I'm sorry, but

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Speaker 1: you're being used and your wife will soon realize that

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Speaker 1: the relationship with her sister was always about the money.

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Speaker 1: You need the money for your own child and future.

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Speaker 1: There's a second comment. Her only value to her sister

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Speaker 1: was one hundred ndred percent the money. Your wife should

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Speaker 1: walk away and let the sister define any relationship that

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Speaker 1: they might have in the future. If she doesn't try

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Speaker 1: to re engage. That just confirms money was the root

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Speaker 1: of the relationship. OHP replies, It is really sad knowing

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Speaker 1: that this relationship was based on money. That's not how

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Speaker 1: siblings should act. I know that my wife will eventually

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Speaker 1: lose hope and realize this sad truth. Though. I hope

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Speaker 1: my sister in law comes to her senses and stops

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Speaker 1: this and for her husband to change as well, and

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Speaker 1: that is the end of that story. Get rid of

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Speaker 1: that toxic Yeah, it's you know, it's when people weaponize

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Speaker 1: their kids and it's like, you know, they're I think

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Speaker 1: that making sure that they have groceries is something, But

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Speaker 1: you know what, also maybe like, all right, let's look

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Speaker 1: at your finances. Then you have no money, You're you're

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Speaker 1: totally destitute the Caleb hammeroon. Let's do a little audit

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Speaker 1: on your finances and find out where all the money's going,

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Speaker 1: shall we.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law crashed my wedding night. Even her

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Speaker 2: own children can't tolerate her.

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Speaker 1: Everybody hates this mother in law.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry this is a little long, but I feel

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Speaker 2: like some backstory is relevant to the situation. All names

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Speaker 2: and locations have been changed to starr at My mother

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Speaker 2: in law Stay say fifty female is a self absorbed

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Speaker 2: person and my now husband, Jake twenty seven male has

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Speaker 2: always known this about her, but her self absorbed person

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Speaker 2: ic tendencies usually were only really bad towards the men

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Speaker 2: she was dating. Since she sees her kids doing well

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Speaker 2: as a reflection on things she has done right versus

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Speaker 2: things that have been accomplished on their own. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Jana Eve Taylor and if you want

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Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to our Sar's Okay

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Speaker 2: story tump Seulbrady. So, the first few years that I,

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Speaker 2: twenty five female, dated her son, she was very welcoming

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Speaker 2: and kind to me, even buying me gifts and wanting

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Speaker 2: to make plans to spend time with me, even voicing

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Speaker 2: her support for us to get married and have children.

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Speaker 2: I am more of an introvert personality, so I never

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Speaker 2: really committed to making plans with her, but it was

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Speaker 2: nice to feel like she liked me. I Doe, you

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Speaker 2: do not have a good relationship with either of my parents,

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Speaker 2: so I would always encourage Jake to red to his

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Speaker 2: mother because she genuinely cares about him and loves him

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Speaker 2: in her own way. He didn't have a bad relationship

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Speaker 2: with her per se, but he didn't particularly want to

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Speaker 2: be around her because of her behavior in narcissism. Moving

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Speaker 2: a few states over with me seemed to help their

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Speaker 2: relationship because he didn't feel obligated to see her as

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Speaker 2: often and it was more on his terms for planned visits.

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Speaker 2: Every year, Stacey and her boyfriend Gary sixty mel would

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Speaker 2: travel to where we live and stay for four to

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Speaker 2: five days. Jake and I don't look forward to this particularly,

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Speaker 2: but the first few times it went well for the

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Speaker 2: most part, there would be just moments where Gary, who

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Speaker 2: is a very kind and funny man, would say something

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Speaker 2: casual that would set her off for no reason, which

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Speaker 2: would lead to a very uncomfortable rest of the day.

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Speaker 2: One time we went to dinner and Gary ordered a

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Speaker 2: burger and fries. Stacy also ordered a burger, but when

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Speaker 2: the waitress asked if fries were okay, Stacey said she

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Speaker 2: wanted chips. When her food came out and she saw

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Speaker 2: Gary's fries and her chips, she realized she wanted the

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Speaker 2: fries and asked him to trade. He politely said he

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Speaker 2: didn't want you, but could call over the waitress to

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Speaker 2: order her a side of fries. She went off, Oh.

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Speaker 1: She'd be going out of the door because that's where

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Speaker 1: I'd be butting her. I'd say you're gone a goodbye.

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Speaker 1: I'm literally like, oh, you want fries. Oh you didn't

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Speaker 1: get fries, Now you want fries. I'll order you fries

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna yell at me about that. Get out here.

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Speaker 2: I didn't think that was an option. I thought if

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Speaker 2: your girlfriend wanted your food, you had a switch. I

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Speaker 2: didn't know you were learning that what you could ask

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Speaker 2: the waitress to come over and work out a deal.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I think ordering her another another side is

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Speaker 1: even a better move. That's how much I care about you.

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Speaker 1: One side of fries, Dan, That's how much I care

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Speaker 1: about you.

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Speaker 2: She started yelling at him in the middle of the

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Speaker 2: restaurant about how rude and selfish she was, and that

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Speaker 2: he'll eat anything, so it shouldn't.

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Speaker 1: Matter if they just trade.

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Speaker 2: Gary can be confrontational back, but it usually takes a

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Speaker 2: while to push him to the point where he wants

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Speaker 2: to fight back, so he was trying to calmly explain

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Speaker 2: to her that they could just order more fries to

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Speaker 2: calm her down, which had the opposite effect. This went

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Speaker 2: on for way too long than it needed to, until

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Speaker 2: we eventually paid and left. Every single time they came

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Speaker 2: to visit, something like this would occur. Gary was incredibly

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Speaker 2: nice to me and almost reminded me of a father

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Speaker 2: figure that I wish I could have, so these encounters

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Speaker 2: would break my heart. I started really dreading their visits.

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Speaker 2: I got more and more quiet around her because she's

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Speaker 2: an introvert.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's the death spiral.

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Speaker 2: It just gets worse and worse Jake and I got

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Speaker 2: engaged after five years of dating. We both decided to

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Speaker 2: buy a house first and have a small backyard wedding

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Speaker 2: since we don't know a large amount of people and

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Speaker 2: it felt it was more about the memories than the

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Speaker 2: venue and money spent. That's super smart to Cody might

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Speaker 2: agree with that.

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 2: A few months prior to our were set wedding date,

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Speaker 2: Stacey and Gary came for their annual visit. With the

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Speaker 2: purchase of our house, the previous owners left this huge

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Speaker 2: and fancy grill so they could take it with him.

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Speaker 2: Neither Jake nor I own or used a grill, so

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Speaker 2: Gary brought all of his person things from home to

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Speaker 2: clean the grill, build the propane tank, and even cooked

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Speaker 2: us some wonderful steak dinner. He was very kind and delicious.

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Speaker 2: This is probably three pm on a sunny weekend day

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Speaker 2: and we were going to play some game in the backyard.

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Speaker 2: Gary even cleaned up our plates and put the leftovers

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Speaker 2: in the fridge. Well, Stacey decided she didn't want to

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Speaker 2: wait on him anymore and went in the house where

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Speaker 2: he was cleaning up. It started screaming, I am to

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Speaker 2: hurry up because he was making us. Wait, Stacy, girl,

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Speaker 2: do you even realize what you got in here?

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Speaker 1: Why are you doing this?

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Speaker 2: What's up?

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Speaker 1: What's going like? What is it? What's making you do this?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Dude, this guy cooks steak and cleans up after himself.

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Speaker 1: And he's the worst. What's going on?

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Speaker 2: All I said was, it's really okay, we aren't in

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Speaker 2: a hurry, in a playful tone to try and calm

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Speaker 2: her down. She stopped yelling at him came back outside,

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Speaker 2: where a few minutes later we started our game. A

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Speaker 2: few hours after this, I was getting ready for bed

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Speaker 2: and came down to get water, where I saw Stacy

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Speaker 2: and my now husband Jake on our patio having a

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Speaker 2: heated conversation. I didn't want to snoop, so I just

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Speaker 2: went to bed. Come to find out, this conversation was,

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Speaker 2: in my husband's words, her yearly therapy session or she

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00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,920
Speaker 2: was ranting to him about how I spoke to her

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Speaker 2: and trying to figure out why I didn't like her anymore.

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Speaker 2: He told her that it wasn't like that, it was

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Speaker 2: about how she treats Gary, and that nobody likes how

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Speaker 2: she treats him. Jake told me later that they just

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Speaker 2: kept going in circles, and his mother refused to see

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Speaker 2: his perspective and was gaslighting him and playing the victim.

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Speaker 2: My husband is great though, and sees right through this

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Speaker 2: every time, but eventually just gives up. Yeah, because after

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Speaker 2: a while, what can you do?

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Speaker 1: After a while, it's like it's over. It's what. This

404
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Speaker 1: person's not gonna change. You're just gonna be in this

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Speaker 1: perpetual cycle of being upset for no good reason. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like I just can't get over the you ask specifically

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Speaker 1: for the chips, then you realize you want the fries,

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Speaker 1: but then you have to have my fries instead of

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Speaker 1: just more fries. That's whack.

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Speaker 2: And then I cook steak, I clean it up, and

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Speaker 2: while I'm cleaning up, being the responsible guest, you yell

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Speaker 2: at me because it's taking two much time.

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Speaker 1: Trash, that's trash behavior.

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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to figure out if Gary is actually

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Speaker 2: the bad guy, like in a world, like what kind

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Speaker 2: of world? What does Gary have to do in order

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Speaker 2: to deserve this?

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Speaker 1: It's just like his facial expressions are so bad. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: It's like she's like, can I have some of mere fries?

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Speaker 1: And he just goes and she's like you always do this.

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Speaker 1: You always give me the evil eye and growl at

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Speaker 1: me when I asked for your fries. That's probably not

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Speaker 1: what's happening though, Yeah, no, that's probably not what's happening.

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Speaker 2: Months later, now, my mother in law and a bunch

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Speaker 2: of our friend slush families from out of state all

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Speaker 2: come to stay at our house for our wedding weekend.

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Speaker 2: We had the entire set of grooonsmen staying in our basement,

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Speaker 2: along with my father in law Matt fifty five al

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Speaker 2: and my sister in law Amy thirty two female all

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Speaker 2: in our house, so it was packed. Everything was going great, though,

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00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 2: and everyone pitched in to help set up her backyard,

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00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 2: make food, and plan for the big day. I was

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Speaker 2: honestly surprised because my mother in law was mostly quiet

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Speaker 2: and helpful when assigned attached. She was great at focusing

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Speaker 2: on that and getting it done, which I was grateful for.

436
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 2: The actual day of the wedding was also good. The

437
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 2: only part that looking back now was weird is she

438
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,199
Speaker 2: kept asking me why my mother wasn't going to be

439
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 2: at the wedding. Not wanting to have that conversation on

440
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,680
Speaker 2: my wedding day, I kept saying that we can talk

441
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 2: about it sometime over the next few days she's in

442
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,959
Speaker 2: town if she really wanted to know. Little did I

443
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 2: know she would ask several of my family members that

444
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 2: same question during the wedding try and get the scoop

445
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 2: on my relationship with my mother.

446
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,160
Speaker 1: Person's terrible.

447
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 2: Since we had our wedding in our backyard in the fall,

448
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,639
Speaker 2: we decided to do the ceremony in cake slash dancing

449
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,400
Speaker 2: first and booked a private room in a restaurant afterwards

450
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 2: for the reception since it would be too cold for

451
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,399
Speaker 2: most people to want to stay outside that long. The

452
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 2: ceremony was amazing. The backyard decorations really turned out exactly

453
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 2: how we both wanted it, and it was really nice

454
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 2: having everyone in the same place. Jake and I are

455
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 2: truly in love and we're so happy to be married.

456
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 2: We had a few drinks, some dancing, and then it

457
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 2: was time to relocate to the venue to get to

458
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 2: the menu. My husband drove with his dad, mom, and

459
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 2: sister all in the back seat since they flew in

460
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 2: and didn't have transportation. Sister in law Amy was really

461
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,120
Speaker 2: great and supportive for the entire time. She's good at

462
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 2: planning and was very helpful to get me getting things

463
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 2: set up. Unfortunately for her, though, she has not had

464
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 2: a very good few years, having got married and divorced,

465
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,439
Speaker 2: and also her apartment burnt down. She lost all of

466
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 2: her belongings right after she moved to the other side

467
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: of the country.

468
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 1: That's rough.

469
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,919
Speaker 2: During the reception, she got emotional and decided to step

470
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: out of our room and got to sit at the

471
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 2: bar since she didn't want to bring the mood down

472
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 2: on our big day. Dude, Amy is a freaking angel.

473
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 2: That is the amount of selfishness you need to do

474
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 2: to have in order to do that. Like you know,

475
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 2: you're like going through it and like you're just gonna

476
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 2: remove yourself Like not saying you should do that, but

477
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 2: like that is huge part of it.

478
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, just knowing that your situation's gonna take away from

479
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 1: their day even though it's like it's not your fault. Yeah,

480
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 1: and you got to deal with people are just gonna

481
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, did you hear about what

482
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 1: happened or like the whole wedding, And then it's like,

483
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna make that dude about me.

484
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 2: Dude's in the chat for Amy. We didn't even notice.

485
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 2: And now appreciate her effort, even though we wouldn't have minded. Yeah,

486
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,160
Speaker 2: it sounds right. My husband and I are still unclear

487
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 2: on the particulars of what was said between them, but

488
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 2: mother in law went out and confronted the sister in

489
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,159
Speaker 2: law at the bar for stepping out and was scolding

490
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 2: her to grow up and get over it.

491
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: Wow, why don't you just get out of it? The

492
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 1: venue that we're all in to leave go be gone.

493
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 2: I feel like mother in law is about to have

494
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 2: a similar experience though.

495
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 1: She just get these people out.

496
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were none the wiser of any issues until

497
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 2: sister in law comes flying back into the room with

498
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,880
Speaker 2: angry tears streaking down her face and mother in law

499
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 2: hot on her drill, still yelling. Jay got in between

500
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 2: them and we ended up putting them on opposite sides

501
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 2: of the room for the rest of the receptions, which

502
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 2: worked temporarily. But remember we all drove together. Sister in

503
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 2: law was going to uber, but it was raining and late.

504
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 2: Jake and I convinced her to just get in the

505
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,360
Speaker 2: car and I would take her place in the backseat

506
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 2: so she didn't have to sit next to Stacey. Car

507
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 2: ride was only eleven minutes, long, and we naively thought

508
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 2: we could make it.

509
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 1: Home eleven minutes, eleven minutes.

510
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 2: Can we do this?

511
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: Dude?

512
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 2: You know what I'm putting on for the eleven minutes?

513
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 1: Just future?

514
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: No, that's funny, dude, Beheman and Rhapsody two and eleven. Well,

515
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 2: I'm just playing that. I don't even care what's happening.

516
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 2: I'm just blasting that stuff all the way.

517
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 1: Uh. The remixed version of Dragonfly by Lenny Kravitz.

518
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 2: What are you playing, Keon? What are you playing? In

519
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 2: the eleven minutes? To make sure that no one's talking.

520
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: In the car, I'll play Bonfire by Childish Scampino.

521
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 2: All right, Jake and father in law were casually chatting

522
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 2: about Metallica for the first few minutes of the rinde,

523
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 2: just trying to say something to ease some of the

524
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 2: tension in the car. Took about three or four minutes

525
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 2: for mother in law not to be able to contain

526
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 2: it anymore. She interrupted, The men started.

527
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 1: Screaming at her all The sister in law didn't turn

528
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 1: and was screaming back, having had you not. At that point,

529
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 1: all I did was hold back my hands out between

530
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 1: them to get their attention and calmly just said, can we.

531
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 2: Please wait until we get home. We're only five minutes away.

532
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 2: Mother in law then turned her rage onto me and

533
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 2: started screaming at me for saying stuff like I never

534
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,360
Speaker 2: liked her and started all this mess and putting her

535
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,399
Speaker 2: finger in my face. I was a little wasted and

536
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 2: feeling spicy at this point, so I started screaming back

537
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: at her, and I honestly couldn't tell you what was

538
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 2: said after that. I do vividly remember the Metallica playing

539
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 2: in the background, which.

540
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 1: Definitely way I was gonna choke that that should be

541
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 1: what was playing.

542
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 4: Master of Puppets, Yeah, yeah, or just done.

543
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 2: Just like it, just raging you up.

544
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: That's probably why President Amy Oh.

545
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 2: Jake, trying to drive through this chaos, took a look

546
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 2: behind him and saw no other cars in the road

547
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 2: and decided to take our car from forty five miles

548
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 2: an hour to zero in about two seconds flight, effectively

549
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 2: sciencing everyone in the car. My husband is the most

550
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: calm and patient man I've ever met, but he's no pushover.

551
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 2: I have never seen him as mad as he was

552
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 2: in that moment. When he turned around to his mother,

553
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 2: he told her that if he heard another pee from

554
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 2: her for we got home, that she would never see

555
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 2: him again, that he was not playing around. She started

556
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 2: to argue with him, but the look he gave her

557
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 2: shut her up. We got home and everyone dispersed to

558
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 2: their own rooms. My husband and I both got ready

559
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 2: for bed and were committed to just hiding out for

560
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 2: the rest of the night since we were exhausted. He

561
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 2: was very apologetic for me for his mother's behavior, but

562
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 2: I really felt bad for him had we to deal

563
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 2: with that on his wedding night, especially from someone who

564
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: was supposed to make things easier. He went downstairs to

565
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 2: get my cat and a glass of water, and we

566
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 2: were just planning to sleep. After about five fifteen minutes,

567
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 2: he had it come back, so I went to look

568
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 2: for him. Our cat is indoor slash outdoor, so I

569
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 2: thought he might be outside looking for her and wanted

570
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 2: to go help. I opened our bedroom door and Jake

571
00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 2: and mother in law Stacy were at the top of

572
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 2: fourus staircase. I think a tense conversation. Not wanting to

573
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: get back in the middle of it, I closed our

574
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 2: door almost all the way, wanting to listen to what's

575
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 2: going on, just in case he needed to rescue. Turns

576
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,160
Speaker 2: out that my sister law and father in law were

577
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 2: downstairs chatting about the night. When Jake went down for water.

578
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 2: On his way back up, mother in law was waiting

579
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 2: on the stairs and ambushed him. She was eavesdropping on

580
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 2: their conversation and couldn't believed they would talk.

581
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 1: Bad about her like that. Oh, you can't believe it. Huh,

582
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,719
Speaker 1: you can't believe that. You don't believe that.

583
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 2: So conflict number one blah blah blah blah blah.

584
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 1: Uh.

585
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was pretty crappy. Conflict number two. Yeah, I'd

586
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 2: be going down that whole list, right.

587
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: There's dude, you literally told the woman who lost her

588
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: whole life at the bar to grow up, get over,

589
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 1: to get over it, and grow up. You suck. You're

590
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,959
Speaker 1: a horrible person, and the fact that anyone tolerates you

591
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: for five seconds should be a blessing to you. Dude.

592
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 2: Wa keon when was this posted? Because I have a

593
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 2: hot take that if this happened within the last like

594
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 2: two months, that this was supposedly the last two months,

595
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 2: stuff probably would have been in the fires around here,

596
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 2: Like she probably moved to La, moved across the country.

597
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 1: To La, that could be it? That does that would

598
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 1: make sense.

599
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,679
Speaker 2: Jake told her to just go to bed and they

600
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 2: would talk the next day, but she wouldn't let him go.

601
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,719
Speaker 2: She kept asking to explain what she'd done wrong. It

602
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 2: was making it hard for him to pass her. Well,

603
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 2: that is when I opened the door and swiftly closed it.

604
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: I could barely hear their conversation until she yelled I

605
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 2: know you're there, missy, and taunted me to come out

606
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 2: of my bedroom.

607
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: You know what I would do, honestly, if she if

608
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: she was tawning me to come out of my bedroom, Yeah,

609
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: that's kind of crazy. I would just open the door

610
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 1: and go and then I close it again, like I

611
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: would just start messing with her, Like.

612
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: I opened the door and leaned into the frame, trying

613
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 2: to stay calm but super over the entire situation at

614
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 2: this point say. She then started to step to me

615
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,239
Speaker 2: in my own home, saying stuff like I don't know

616
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 2: whatever did to you and essentially blaming everything on me.

617
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 2: When Jake realized how physically close to me she was getting,

618
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 2: he put himself between us and sternly told her to

619
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: go to bed. She then said something along the lines

620
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 2: of this is how I get treated for paying for everything.

621
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 2: Brol you just paid for the cheapest wedding ever.

622
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna find out exactly how much you paid.

623
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get that money and i'm gonna throw it

624
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: at you. It's gonna be all Nichols, nikels and pennies,

625
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: dimes and quarters.

626
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 2: That way, whenever you go to the bank and you

627
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 2: have to put them in the slots, they're not all pennies,

628
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 2: so you have to get different things, which is not

629
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 2: close to the truth, since all she paid for was

630
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 2: the reception dinner, which we didn't even ask her to do,

631
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 2: considering she grabbed the check out of my husband's hand

632
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 2: and volunteerly paid for it. He again told her to

633
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 2: go to bed, and after a few more minutes of

634
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 2: pedaling to with her to stop yet enough, and took

635
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 2: the cash she had on them, which was probably fifty

636
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,400
Speaker 2: bucks or more that she had paid for the food,

637
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 2: and threw it down the hallway at her and told

638
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 2: her to get the f out of our house.

639
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 1: Boom, throw that money bag. That's crazy. Well, it's like

640
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 1: it's crazy when you volunteer to pay for something and

641
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: then later just use it as a thing where it's like, well,

642
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 1: I guess that's what I get for paying and it's like,

643
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: well yet, I mean what what usaid? Now you're gonna

644
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: act like that's something you can hold over me? Yeah,

645
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 1: because you offered to do it.

646
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: We both at this point knew we weren't getting sleep

647
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 2: anytime soon, so we joined following on sistem in law downstairs.

648
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 2: Every twenty minutes, Jake would go back up and check

649
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 2: in on mother in law's progress of getting her stuff

650
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 2: packed and finding a hotel. He was being very patient,

651
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 2: considering she was wasted and it was about three o'clock

652
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: at this point, but was not letting up on punting

653
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 2: her out. Eventually, she booked a hotel and had her

654
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 2: things together, which he carried downstairs for her, and even

655
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 2: agreed to drive her there on the condition that she

656
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 2: would not talk to him. He says that she tried,

657
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 2: but he just sat there and acted like he was

658
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: an uber driver. Ja CON's sister in law weren't optimistic,

659
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 2: but they were hoping that mother in law would come

660
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 2: to her senses after sobering up and getting some rest. Well,

661
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 2: what do we think you that happened?

662
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 1: Look, I don't know, Kick around the morning. Man, if

663
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: your mom's like drunk and it's three am, just like,

664
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: let's take care of it in the morning.

665
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 2: She's not. He's telling her go to bed, go to bed,

666
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 2: go to bed, and she's just bickering with him.

667
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 1: Isn't she telling him? Isn't he telling her to pack?

668
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 2: Well, because she want to go to bed, because she

669
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 2: kept like, he's like, you know, get out of my house.

670
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 2: He did it, He tried, He tried that. Unfortunately, isn't

671
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 2: what happened. She doubled down the next day and sent

672
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 2: my husband about four or five long texts about how

673
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 2: this entire thing was my fault somehow and that I'm

674
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 2: an evil mother hater and I'm trying to break apart

675
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 2: their mother's slash sunned relationship. Jake tapped out a well

676
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 2: written response with his perspective on everything that happened as

677
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: a large stitch effort to get her to understand and

678
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,959
Speaker 2: also have a written account while things were fresh in

679
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 2: his memory. But self absorbed person can't take responsibility for anything,

680
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: and she is convinced that she is the victim.

681
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 1: Look, and I don't know if I got get misconstrued

682
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: when I said that she's drunk. Just let her go

683
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 1: to sleep. It's like, is your being drunk doesn't excuse

684
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: her behavior at all. It doesn't make it nothing. What

685
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: she has done is okay. It's just more like it's

686
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: three am, she's drug trying to get her to pack

687
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: and get out of your house right now, he's gonna

688
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 1: be like, infinitely more difficult. He did that than just

689
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 1: waiting until the next day.

690
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 2: That's what he did. You're missing it.

691
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: He tried.

692
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 2: He tried to tell her to go to bed, and

693
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 2: he's like, the only thing that she's gonna do to

694
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 2: get out of my house.

695
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: I thought that was it went straight from me. Threw

696
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: the money at her, and then he was getting packed up,

697
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: so they were at the top of the stairs.

698
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 2: He's like, I don't want to have this conversation. Go

699
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 2: to bed, please, I don't want to have this conversation.

700
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: Go to bed, please.

701
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: Doing it for like probably like fifteen to twenty minutes,

702
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 2: and then she was not listening, and then he was like,

703
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 2: I'm done. You're gonna throw in my face that you're

704
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 2: paying for something. Get out of my house. So back

705
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 2: on it. So now she's still convinced that she's the

706
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 2: victim My husband has not seen or talked to her

707
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: since that weekend. He said he's going to do nothing

708
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 2: with her until she deeply apologizes to both of us

709
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: and sister in law for what went down and takes

710
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 2: accountability for it, which will likely never happen. She still

711
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 2: blames me, even though I had the least involvement out

712
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 2: of anyone I know. Jake is sad about the situation,

713
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 2: even though he didn't particularly care to spend time with

714
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 2: her before. Cutting ties with family is never easy, especially

715
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 2: when it didn't have to be this way. And by

716
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 2: the way, you to have the only happiness in this

717
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: life is if you go to your favorite podcast platform,

718
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: search up Okay story Time, and you will hear a

719
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: plethora of stories just like these. How many days will

720
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: we have to go to?

721
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 1: Fifty? In counting?

722
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: On the bride side, we've been happily married for two

723
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: years now and are expecting her first child, which she

724
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 2: will likely never get the chance to meet. I read

725
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 2: these things all the time where the man doesn't stick

726
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: up for his wife, and I'm beyond grateful that my

727
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 2: husband's stuck up for me. Dude, facts, hope the story

728
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 2: is entertaining.

729
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: Lol.

730
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 2: It gives us a good laugh now and we've healed

731
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: and move on. Okay, we've got two comments left. I'm

732
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 2: a number one. Jake is an absolute jewel and has

733
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 2: a very shiny spine. You are blessed to have him.

734
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 2: A word of warning, though, I don't know if your

735
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: nightmare of a mother in law knows about your pregnancy

736
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 2: or not, but if she does find out, be prepared

737
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 2: for all kinds of love bombing, because she's gonna want

738
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 2: to be a grandma. That's going to require a whole

739
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 2: new set of boundaries if you decide to let her

740
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 2: be a part of the baby's life at all. Best

741
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 2: wishes for a safe pregnancy and a beautiful, healthy baby,

742
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 2: OPI replies, honestly, don't know if she knows. His sisters

743
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: have said they didn't tell her, so unless one of

744
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 2: his aunts are ran a family member that I'm friended

745
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 2: on Facebook, did, she still doesn't know. We've talked about

746
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 2: this a lot recently, and I have pretty much both

747
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 2: agreed that even if someday my husband chooses to let

748
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 2: her back in our lives, it won't be the same

749
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: and she won't ever be allowed to stay overnight in

750
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 2: her home or be alone with our children. He sees

751
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 2: right through her, and I'm not too worried about the

752
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 2: love bombing. Thank you for the best wishes. We're due

753
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: in about two months and are thrilled my husband is

754
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 2: going to be the best dad. Comment number two. So

755
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 2: you still talk to father in law?

756
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 1: OPI.

757
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, they divorced when my husband was very young and

758
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 2: he was completely on her side with everything, and that's it.

759
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: They divorce.

760
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 2: Wait, they divorced husband father in law and mother in law.

761
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: Were great because she sucked dad's better off. Yeah, hey,

762
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 1: John og host here, we're gonna get back to this episode,

763
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from a

764
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: sponsor's keeping the show alive. I lent a hand to

765
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 1: my almost homeless friend years ago. Now I can't get

766
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 1: him to move out, kick him.

767
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 3: Out of there.

768
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 1: No, then he'll be homeless again. Yeah wait that was

769
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 1: You can't do that. That's food. I allowed a veteran

770
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: friend of mine and my husband, whom I have known

771
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: for twenty years, to move in with us. My husband,

772
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: also being a vet, agreed to let him stay when

773
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: our friend who he lived with sold his home and

774
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: he had nowhere to go. By the way, this comes

775
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: from user More Understanding twenty four and if you want

776
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

777
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 1: Okay storytime subreddit and submit them there. So when we

778
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 1: talked about him coming, I let him know I'd give

779
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: him two or three months to get settled and find

780
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: a job, and then he would need to pay five

781
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: hundred a month for rent that covered his room, his

782
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: own restroom, the use of our WiFi, cable TV, all

783
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 1: of these streamings platforms, the washer, of the dryer, and

784
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: the other household things including the fridge. That's a pretty

785
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: good deal.

786
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, when you're not paying for really, you

787
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 3: just have to find a Domicut deals.

788
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: When he moved in, he was super happy and grateful,

789
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 1: saying he was gonna find work quickly. He was doing

790
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: well at first, going for walks and actively trying to

791
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,839
Speaker 1: lose weight. This friend of ours is at least four

792
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty to five hundred and fifty pounds in

793
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 1: his mid fifties. We are forty diabetic and had not

794
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 1: gone to the doctor in years. My husband took him

795
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: to the VA and got him set up. He was

796
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,280
Speaker 1: walking with my fourteen year old and losing weight until

797
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 1: he wasn't anymore since he wasn't paying rent. We told

798
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: him he could help out around the house and cook

799
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 1: breakfast for the kids with the food I bought. We

800
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: fed him dinner every night, and if we got food

801
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: from a restaurant or fast food, I fed him too.

802
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: So you're just getting like another kid to take care of, essentially.

803
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 1: I offered him a little bruski after he mentioned that

804
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: he hadn't had one in a really long time and

805
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: missed it. I said, we don't really drink much, so

806
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: help yourself. My husband pointed out some things that were

807
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 1: off limits. A week or two later, my daughter woke

808
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 1: up and told me she heard a bang. I went

809
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 1: downstairs and found that he had fallen. We got him

810
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 1: up and in bed, but it happened three more times

811
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 1: over the next few weeks. He was also up at

812
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: odd hours and super noisy. At that time, I was

813
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: working two full time jobs and my husband and kids

814
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: were in full time college and school. I put it

815
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 1: on the back burner, assuming it was just diabetic issues,

816
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: and told him to make an appointment with his doctor.

817
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 1: Maybe two months went by and I had a particularly

818
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: hard day. I went to grab a drink and noticed

819
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: my entire liquor cabinet, probably three hundred to six hundred

820
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: dollars worth of alcohol was gone. He drank everything. Yeah,

821
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: so clearly this was a guy who had problems.

822
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 3: I mean he's a veteran. That often comes with it

823
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 3: of like, you know, you've gone through something really hard, yeah,

824
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 3: and the government doesn't support you, and now you're having

825
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,359
Speaker 3: to pick up the slack of something like you shouldn't have.

826
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 3: You don't like, you don't probably don't have the funds

827
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 3: for or the resources to handle someone. I was like,

828
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 3: it might have like mental you know, a health problem.

829
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 1: At the very least a very massive self control problem. Yeah.

830
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:59,240
Speaker 1: He drank everything, including my zema, which you can't buy anymore,

831
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 1: and the bottom champagne we were saving for my husband's graduation.

832
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 1: I confronted him and he cried, saying he was embarrassed

833
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,399
Speaker 1: and sorry. I asked what gave him the idea that

834
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 1: help yourself meant drinking everything. He had no answer, just

835
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: blamed his back issues and emotional trauma. I put my

836
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: foot down and told him that was it. It had

837
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,919
Speaker 1: been seven months and he still hadn't found a job.

838
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: We were struggling financially and he needed to start paying rent.

839
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,359
Speaker 1: He agreed. Three months went by, which means we're now

840
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: at month ten and nothing. That's a whole lot of nothing. Yeah,

841
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: that's a whole lot of nothing.

842
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 3: You don't have the resources to help this man.

843
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,760
Speaker 1: He just sat in his room, used his food stamps

844
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 1: to buy candy and junk food from Amazon and the

845
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: store gained one hundred pounds, and let his diabetes get

846
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,760
Speaker 1: so bad that his skin was bursting open. That's pretty graphic,

847
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: especially for your kid too, to be there skinny as

848
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: a hospital.

849
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, because the sores that you can get from like

850
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 3: diabetes is pretty gruesome.

851
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 1: His legs were so swollen his wounds wouldn't heal for months,

852
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 1: and he refused to get up. He did nothing but

853
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: sit at his computer all day. Every day the rest

854
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 1: of us left for work, and I reminded him again

855
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: that he needed a job. If you cooked or came

856
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: out to have a meal and watch television, you would

857
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: come out and talk your ear off about whatever he

858
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 1: was obsessed with at the time, or share outdated opinions.

859
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 1: It was so bad that I started avoiding going downstairs

860
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 1: at all. Then my husband's health took a turn. He

861
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 1: collapsed one day and we found out he had stage

862
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: four kidney and lung cancer. As I was still working

863
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,959
Speaker 1: two jobs and the kids were in school, I asked

864
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 1: our roommate to use our snowblower to clear the sidewalks

865
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 1: and driveway. He went out for three minutes, then came

866
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: back in saying his back hurt and he couldn't do it.

867
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 1: My husband, despite his illness, ended up doing it himself. Yeah,

868
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: this is when it's like you're out within like the

869
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 1: next two weeks, or I call the police. Yeah, here's

870
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 1: the shelter, go to the hospitter's the va exactly.

871
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 3: You give them, you lead them to, you know, resources

872
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 3: like an health them. But you can't.

873
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: Every day my husband shoveled the snow with only me

874
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: or our fourteen year old helping him. I was furious.

875
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 1: I told our roommate it was bs that he couldn't

876
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: even help with that. While living here rent free, my

877
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: husband had part of his kids removed. He now only

878
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,399
Speaker 1: has won and was told not to lift over ten

879
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,840
Speaker 1: pounds for six weeks. The roommate still didn't help with anything.

880
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: Then my mother in law said she was coming to

881
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: stay with us for a few months. After my husband's surgery.

882
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 1: We gave the roommate three months notice to move out.

883
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: He had a breakdown, crying to my husband that it

884
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: wasn't enough notice and that only he was getting the

885
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 1: crappy end of the stick. He's got stage four cancer.

886
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: Come on, his stick has plenty of dude.

887
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 3: The thing is, I think that you need to have

888
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 3: a conversation with this man. That's not just like, hey,

889
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 3: you need to pay pay rent. You pay rent, like

890
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 3: I need to do something. It's like, hey, we no

891
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 3: longer can house you because we are going through our

892
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 3: own problems here and our own mental or our own

893
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 3: health problems right now. Unfortunately, we've given you a lot

894
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 3: of time, but you have to move out, and like, well,

895
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 3: you know, we'll help you find those resources, but you

896
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 3: have to go because you are dealing with your own

897
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 3: things that require a lot of money and a lot

898
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 3: of like wherewithal mentally to be able to process and

899
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 3: handle all of that stuff that's going on with cancer.

900
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: Given him a quarter of a year to move out

901
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 1: should be enough time for anybody to that out. I

902
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 1: was livid that he actually said that to my husband.

903
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: I reminded him that most landlords only give thirty days notice,

904
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 1: so he was lucky. We said his move out date

905
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: for July thirtieth, but he's still here.

906
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 3: Dude, that's when you like take all of his stuff out.

907
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 1: Police.

908
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, you get him out of there.

909
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: Man, what a terrible situation to be in those pod

910
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: he put in that spot. Yeah, you're know on this

911
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: guy for twenty years. He's just abusing your good nature.

912
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 3: Your kindness.

913
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mother in law has had changed her flight

914
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 1: three times because we don't have anywhere to put her.

915
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: The roommate has given us three different move out dates

916
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 1: and each one has come and gone. Now we've told

917
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 1: him that he needs to be out by the end

918
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 1: of the month or we're moving mother in law into

919
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: his room. She hates him. He said he would just

920
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: go live on the streets, but I told him no.

921
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:44,280
Speaker 1: He had months of notice and did nothing until last week.

922
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 1: Now he's waiting for a background check to go through

923
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 1: so he can go to a men's shelter, and the

924
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: Catholic Church is helping him too. He's pretty much disabled,

925
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 1: so I offered a year ago to help him apply

926
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: for disability. He told me that he had a caseworker

927
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: helping him apply. That was a lie. He didn't want

928
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 1: to apply because it would affect his retirement. Turns out

929
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: he hasn't worked in six years and was living off

930
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 1: our other friend the entire time. There's so much more

931
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: to this, but as of now, I don't see an

932
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:13,919
Speaker 1: end in sight. I'm uncomfortable in my own home. My downstairs,

933
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 1: living room, kitchen, and common areas are a huge mess,

934
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 1: and he doesn't even do his own dishes or clean

935
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 1: up after himself. I just want this over and him gone.

936
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 1: It's caused problems in my marriage and my family. I

937
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: now never want to help anyone like this again. I've

938
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 1: helped a lot of people in my life and it

939
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: has always bitten me in the butt. I just need

940
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,760
Speaker 1: him to go. And there are some comments here. Number one,

941
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 1: he's not your child. Get him out already. This is ridiculous,

942
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 1: ye hope, he says, I know you're right. I just

943
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 1: didn't want to formally a vict him. I didn't want

944
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:44,800
Speaker 1: that on his record.

945
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, you know he didn't give you any choice. You

946
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 3: have told him so many times kindly, and you have

947
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 3: given so much time. You have to formally a victim

948
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 3: at this point. If he's not going to leave otherwise.

949
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: If he's not going to get out. Yeah, I replied

950
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: to this, how on earth do you expect him to

951
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: get out without doing an eviction? I reread your post,

952
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 1: and he will be living with you until one of

953
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 1: you passes away or you start the eviction process. It

954
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: can take a long time. You're really not doing your

955
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 1: family or him any favors by continuing to enable him

956
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: and not pushing foreign eviction as soon as your agreement

957
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 1: first started getting broken. You can't help someone who doesn't

958
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 1: want to help themselves. All you're doing is burning yourself

959
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,959
Speaker 1: out for someone who doesn't really care about you. Reply

960
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: to that, No, wonder the last person to help sold

961
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: their property. Can you imagine? Is that? What could that

962
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: be why they sell the houses? They're like, look, you

963
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,240
Speaker 1: can't live anymore. I'm selling the house, all right, you can't.

964
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 1: You can't leave here.

965
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 3: Maybe that's been like he was behaving terribly and they

966
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 3: were already gonna move out, But.

967
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,600
Speaker 1: I would hope it was at least that, Or we

968
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: need to start growing spine. Yeah, comment number two, he

969
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 1: doesn't care enough about you to treat you with any decency.

970
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: You are being far too kind. Let me put this

971
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 1: to you in a different way. You are a mom.

972
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 1: You have a child who is having to live with

973
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: this choice. How is it affecting your son? How does

974
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 1: he feel? My parents used to collect broken people, and

975
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 1: they always took advantage. I had people stealing my stuff

976
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 1: and it eventually so unsafe I moved out. It took

977
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 1: me a long time to go no contact with them.

978
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: They weren't saints. They were doing it to get access

979
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: to babies. They love babies. It's crazy. My point is

980
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: I still hold a lot of hurt over my parents

981
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: choosing these users over me. They had a duty to

982
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: provide me with a safe home and they weren't doing that.

983
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: Instead of feeling bad for this freeloader, think of your son.

984
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,879
Speaker 1: Think of the things he is putting up with. Think

985
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: of what he will go without because you have to

986
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 1: spend it on this man. Is your son missing out

987
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: because you have to do things for this man? Has

988
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,919
Speaker 1: he been able to live his life like a normal kid?

989
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: Or does he not have people over because of the

990
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: mentally unstable regular user who keeps falling over in his house.

991
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: You have a kind heart, You want to help, but

992
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: you can't. You need to protect your family. Comment three

993
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: The best thing that you can do for him is

994
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 1: force him to leave and face his circumstances. You can't

995
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 1: enable him anymore. He will keep doing this as long

996
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: as you let him do it. He needs to hit

997
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:49,879
Speaker 1: rock bottom if he's ever going to get up, even

998
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 1: if that's the street. He created this situation, Opie says,

999
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: you are not wrong. It just kills me to think

1000
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,839
Speaker 1: of someone I cared about in the street being someone

1001
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: who was homeless years ago myself. I have to let

1002
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 1: it go and let what it's going to happen happen.

1003
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 1: I even called his family and they want nothing to

1004
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 1: do with the situation at all. And here is the update.

1005
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: I think we're all in agreement.

1006
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,440
Speaker 3: Right right, You got to have victim.

1007
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 1: You've got to be like, you're out of here by

1008
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: this date. And if you're not out of there, police

1009
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 1: are being involved. Official, it's going to go on your record.

1010
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 1: Hates to your record are going to be involved.

1011
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 4: Oh, he was doing something out of the kindness of

1012
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,760
Speaker 4: their heart, and you were taking advents so badly.

1013
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy.

1014
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 4: And now you're anxious of being home And like I

1015
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,920
Speaker 4: kind of had that with a roommate in college and

1016
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 4: I was just like so stressed to be downstairs because

1017
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 4: it was so dirty and like even I've told him,

1018
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 4: like clean up. He's just like I wanted him out,

1019
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 4: but I couldn't get him out. It just felt bad.

1020
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 4: I'd like live in my upstairs room.

1021
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: That was it.

1022
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've had friends who are have also been situations

1023
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 3: like that with roommates. It's just like you don't know what.

1024
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, have you ever tried to out annoy a roommate.

1025
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 1: I try to bother a roommate.

1026
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 4: I've never had to do that, so I've tried it,

1027
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 4: but it's like that's not who I am.

1028
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 1: Here's the update. Hello again all. I figured some of

1029
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: you might be wondering what happened since my last post,

1030
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: which can be found above. Since this post, we gave

1031
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 1: him a move out date of early September. My husband

1032
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: talked with him literally daily about his plans to go,

1033
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 1: as it had now been five months since we initially

1034
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 1: told him he had to move. He told us he

1035
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: had found a wonderful Vets home that would take him

1036
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: in upon approval, as well as give him his own room,

1037
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 1: three meals a day, and counseling. So the day before

1038
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 1: he's supposed to be out. I text him to ask

1039
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 1: what exactly the plan shall be for tomorrow. He tells

1040
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,839
Speaker 1: me he's going, but he hasn't slept well the last

1041
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: few days as he hasn't been able to get a

1042
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 1: hold of any of them. The morning comes and my

1043
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 1: husband has to knock on the door to wake him

1044
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 1: up around noon to ask what the plan was as

1045
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 1: the place he's moving is an hour away and I

1046
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: might have to use one of our cars to go

1047
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,240
Speaker 1: to work. He says he doesn't know. My husband starts

1048
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 1: calling every single veteran resource and asking for help, stating

1049
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,439
Speaker 1: his situation and needing him to go so his mom

1050
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: can come stay with us to help. He asks all

1051
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: the places this friend had claimed to have applied to

1052
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: to the status of his application, and they had never

1053
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 1: cleared of him.

1054
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 3: Eviction, eviction, unfortunately, all blown.

1055
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: This guy's committing a crime against you, essentially. Yeah. My

1056
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: husband loses his crap and has a breakdown to the

1057
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 1: director of a veteran's homeless program, and the guy feels

1058
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 1: so bad for my husband that he tells him to

1059
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: bring him now and they will take him.

1060
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 3: Thank god, Oh my god, you just need a sob

1061
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 3: in front of someone and say.

1062
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 1: Please, this guy's ruining our lives and he does need

1063
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: help to be good. He's a guy who needs a

1064
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:22,879
Speaker 1: lot of help.

1065
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:26,320
Speaker 3: It's health issues, that's clear.

1066
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 1: Husband packs his crop up and throws it all in

1067
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 1: the car with a friend of ours, and the vet

1068
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 1: friend gets angry, saying he's being rushed out.

1069
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 3: Dude, you don't get to say you're being rushed out

1070
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 3: when it's been like seven months.

1071
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: It's longer. It's been like a year at this point

1072
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,839
Speaker 1: in a year, so excuse me. What if I had

1073
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: been there to hear that, I might have yieaded this

1074
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 1: man in the car and out of my life even faster.

1075
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 1: How is giving someone five months to move rushing them?

1076
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: So they go to the original home that the vet

1077
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: applied at, which is apparently like the Ritz Carlton, but

1078
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 1: he can't go there because they're two to three month waitlist,

1079
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 1: so he has to go ten minutes down the road

1080
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 1: to the other facility. It's run down. He has to

1081
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: share a room, but he gets three meals, free internet

1082
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 1: and television. He's not happy, of course, he's not happy.

1083
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: The lady comments, what did he expect a four bedroom house?

1084
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 1: She goes on to take my husband by the hand

1085
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: and tells him you don't worry about him anymore. He's

1086
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: a grown man and needs to step up for himself.

1087
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 1: Now we will take care of him. Go home and

1088
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 1: take care of yourself. Now.

1089
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 3: Sounds like a nice lady.

1090
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 1: What a nice lady who's clearly a professional at what

1091
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 1: she does. And by the way, you can be professional

1092
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 1: at listening to us if you go listen to full

1093
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: episodes with stories like this on your favorite podcasting platform,

1094
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 1: be that iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts or Spotify, wherever you listen,

1095
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: just search Okay storytime and there you will find the

1096
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 1: archive and it is complete fifty days long at this point.

1097
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 1: That's twenty four hours times fifty Someone do that math.

1098
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 1: That's a lot of hours. Let's go ahead and finish

1099
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 1: this story. My husband has a heart of gold. Guys,

1100
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,320
Speaker 1: he really didn't want to go until he knew he

1101
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: would at least be okay, he said. There are on

1102
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: site therapy groups and they even take them to weekly

1103
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 1: check ups through the so he will get his diabetes

1104
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:04,439
Speaker 1: under control. That's great, that is great, and us well,

1105
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 1: we both can't believe how quiet it is and how

1106
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: free we feel. Again, we actually talked and laughed together

1107
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 1: for the first time in a year. He's gone and

1108
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 1: I have my home back. Thank you to everyone who

1109
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 1: gave us advice. I read them to my husband and

1110
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 1: I told him you all gave me the turbo boost

1111
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 1: in my behind that I needed. Thank you. Comment. Wait,

1112
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 1: hopefully we do not see another post from you in

1113
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 1: six months saying that your husband is healthy and your

1114
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: mother in law won't move out. Haha. You guys are awesome. Okay,

1115
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 1: so yeah, also, may your husband be better? Yes, And

1116
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: now that you don't have that guy to deal with,

1117
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 1: I bet your help focus on that health will be

1118
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,720
Speaker 1: the main focus. But that is that it's.

1119
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,879
Speaker 3: So much easier to like get your health better when

1120
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 3: you are in a better state of mind.

1121
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,839
Speaker 1: That's there's peace around you. It is easier to bring

1122
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 1: the peace within you. Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get

1123
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 1: back to these stories. But here's three of us of

1124
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 1: bads from our sponsors that keep the show alive.

1125
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:59,720
Speaker 3: My irresponsible friend took advantage of my kindness for years.

1126
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 1: I finally evicted her. Get evicted, irresponsible wench.

1127
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 3: Let me start this with my boyfriend and I were

1128
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:10,360
Speaker 3: put into a very lucky situation with the house. However,

1129
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 3: it is still in my mother's name and she could

1130
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 3: easily evict us, especially since she does not know about

1131
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 3: any of this from me. She may have heard some

1132
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 3: from neighbors, but that's about it. By the way, this

1133
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 3: comes from Reasonable Camel four five to seven, and if

1134
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 3: you want to smit your own stories, go to our

1135
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 3: slash Oakie storytime separate in it. So, I, twenty seven female,

1136
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,239
Speaker 3: and my boyfriend twenty four male, who I'll call John

1137
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 3: for clarification, have been living in our current house for

1138
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 3: three years. We moved in because my parents owned two

1139
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 3: houses and my grandma was too old for her own

1140
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 3: forty acres of land. So my parents moved my grandma

1141
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,279
Speaker 3: into one house that was paid off and asked John

1142
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 3: and me if we wanted to finish paying off the

1143
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 3: other house while living in it. My mom and I

1144
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 3: have an agreement where I pay a little less for

1145
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:52,720
Speaker 3: the mortgage because I have health issues and am unable

1146
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 3: to work as many hours. The house itself needs a

1147
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 3: lot of work that John and I are paying for

1148
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:59,720
Speaker 3: out of pocket, so it was a win win for everyone.

1149
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 3: Things changed, but that's just backstory to the real issue

1150
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 3: I have a friend twenty eight female who I'll call Jane,

1151
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 3: who goes away for work every summer. Her long term

1152
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 3: relationship ended and she needed a place to stay for

1153
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 3: the winter with her dog. John and I were happy

1154
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 3: to share a room in her house and gave her

1155
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 3: a very reasonable rent fee of one to fifty a month.

1156
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 1: Very reasonable, very reasonable, more like the most reasonable.

1157
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 3: What, dude, that's like a climbing membership in a more

1158
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 3: expensive place. The room was very small, but she had

1159
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 3: her own full bathroom and basically the entire upstairs to herself.

1160
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 3: She had a full bathroom and the entire upstairs for

1161
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 3: one fifty a month month.

1162
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: That's insane. I'll take that deal. Yeez.

1163
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:44,839
Speaker 3: That year we had small issues. It was new and

1164
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 3: John and I were still figuring out living together. We

1165
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 3: also all worked together, so it was a lot of

1166
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,800
Speaker 3: time together and not enough time alone. During this time,

1167
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,760
Speaker 3: Jane was dating a guy that was married but planning

1168
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 3: to leave.

1169
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 1: Her, aren't they all?

1170
00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 3: So the whole time Jane stayed with us, all she

1171
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 3: did I was crying about her man. At one point

1172
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,279
Speaker 3: I even stopped her and told her I needed a

1173
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,240
Speaker 3: friend to listen to me vent. However, she just cried

1174
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 3: more about her own problems, and then disappeared before I

1175
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 3: ever got a word in Now, mind you, I'm painfully

1176
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 3: shy and extremely passive until I'm pushed to a limit,

1177
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 3: and then I'm a bombshell. So I never pushed her

1178
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 3: for conversation, but I did always assume that as a friend,

1179
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 3: she would eventually listen to me, you would hope. Well,

1180
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 3: this went on for the winter, and I slowly started

1181
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 3: to hold onto these feelings of regret because the entire

1182
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 3: time she was staying with us, she was being a

1183
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 3: bad roommate on top of being a poor friend.

1184
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: Is not good. That's a terrible combo.

1185
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 3: She would constantly leave her elderly dog out of its

1186
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:45,919
Speaker 3: kennel because she felt bad, but then the dog would

1187
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 3: get into the trash or use the bathroom on the carpet.

1188
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 1: Yoicks. To be fair, though, I do feel bad for

1189
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 1: dogs that are just in a kennel all the time.

1190
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: But like a kennel is a tool and you can

1191
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 1: use it very well and a lot of time psychologically

1192
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: dogs feel at they feel secure in a kennel. You

1193
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 1: just have to make it on how you're using it.

1194
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: You know, put some fluff, put some fluff stuff in there.

1195
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 3: Since I was always first home, I wasn't just going

1196
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 3: to leave the messes on my floor. I never made

1197
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,600
Speaker 3: her feel bad for it, though, just repeatedly suggested she

1198
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 3: cante it. She would leave bags of food in the

1199
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 3: room and we never had any problems with ants until

1200
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,439
Speaker 3: she started staying there.

1201
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 1: No, dude, I hate ants, chance the creepy, crawy little ant.

1202
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,720
Speaker 3: One time I went up into her room and found

1203
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 3: a BK cup tipped over, spilling onto my cloth dresser. Still,

1204
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 3: I kept letting things go, reminding myself she'd be gone.

1205
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 3: One summer hit and she was well. This year comes

1206
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 3: along and John and I think maybe it'll be better.

1207
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 3: That's we had more time to get ourselves together. John

1208
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 3: is a new job which keeps them away most days,

1209
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 3: and it'll be nice to have the company of my

1210
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 3: best friend again. John was hesitant, but agreed because I

1211
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 3: promised it'd be different. That's on you, honestly, that's on

1212
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 3: you now, because you already lived with her and you

1213
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 3: know exactly how she is.

1214
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,399
Speaker 1: That's on you putting that on you. You thinks she's

1215
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: gonna change, la change?

1216
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 3: Did you have any proof? Your proof was that you.

1217
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 3: John is a job, and it was just different worse.

1218
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:14,800
Speaker 3: Now Jane is with Let's call him Richard for obvious reasons. Richards.

1219
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,839
Speaker 3: He's a forty five year old man with a daughter

1220
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 3: of his own, and all he does is verbally of Jane.

1221
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 3: He tells her things like I've never seen anyone put

1222
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,919
Speaker 3: on wad as fast as you, and yet Jane won't

1223
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 3: leave Richard, which is whatever, not my place to tell her,

1224
00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 3: especially since John and I started off rocky, though not

1225
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 3: that rocky, and we were also twenty one and nineteen, respectively,

1226
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 3: But still I wouldn't have a problem with Richard. But

1227
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 3: one time Jane forgot her phone at his house during

1228
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 3: one of the arguments. I saw him on our ring

1229
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 3: camera and sent her a text saying, Hey, I can't

1230
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,439
Speaker 3: get to the door, but I see Richard is here.

1231
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 3: Everything okay. Richard proceeds text me aggressively about how he

1232
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:51,879
Speaker 3: knows Jane and I are talking because we're texting. Well,

1233
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 3: Jane had nothing but a phone and Richard had it. Oh,

1234
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 3: she like, her only device was a phone and Richard

1235
00:52:57,920 --> 00:52:58,560
Speaker 3: had that phone.

1236
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 1: She so this part it's it's like that's like the

1237
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 1: same thing is almost like It's almost the equivalent I

1238
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 1: feel like of like someone having your passport, yeah, not

1239
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 1: being allowed access to like like a phone or like

1240
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 1: to communicate.

1241
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 3: Yeah. And for him to be like, I know you're texting,

1242
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 3: you have her? How how is she texting anyone?

1243
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:15,720
Speaker 1: She's not? You have her phone?

1244
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 3: Literally ever phone. But needless to say, I now have

1245
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 3: beef with some man I could take out at the knees.

1246
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 3: Richard apologized to me by telling Jane he was sorry

1247
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 3: and to tell me and I'm not sure about you all.

1248
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 3: But I didn't feel like he was apologizing to me.

1249
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 3: It felt like he was apologizing to Jane about me,

1250
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 3: and she just vomited out the same words to me.

1251
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 3: This man called me immature, stupid, and implied I was

1252
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 3: a witch because he didn't like what I was saying,

1253
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 3: This forty five year old man with his own daughter. Nevertheless,

1254
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 3: Jane and Richard have caused several issues, from screaming outside

1255
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,840
Speaker 3: my house in front of my nosy neighbors who happened

1256
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 3: to be friends with my mother, to Jane showing up

1257
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 3: at my front door with arms filled with luggage, a

1258
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:56,280
Speaker 3: dog kennel, and even her off leash dog, a running amok.

1259
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,880
Speaker 3: I no longer have any respect for Richard and his

1260
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,439
Speaker 3: childish nature, and I've made it clear he's not welcome here.

1261
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 3: Not to mention the room. Same things happened. Jane wouldn't

1262
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:09,000
Speaker 3: kennel her dog. The dog made messes. I constantly cleaned

1263
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 3: them up. I never made a big deal out of it,

1264
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 3: as I have four of my own animals, including one dog,

1265
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,600
Speaker 3: and I understand these things happen.

1266
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 1: She's not cleaning up after her own dog.

1267
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 3: Why did you invite her back?

1268
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: It's your dog. You have to clean up after your dog.

1269
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 3: Whatever I didn't work. She'd leave her dog for me

1270
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 3: to babysit, and she would pay me in a few plants.

1271
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:33,479
Speaker 3: But what John and I really wanted was just for her.

1272
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 1: To deal with her own dog exactly.

1273
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 3: Then she finally kenneled the dog, and the dog ruined

1274
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 3: my curtains. They weren't that expensive, so I wasn't going

1275
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 3: to pressure her or be mean about it. However, in

1276
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 3: the moment, it was upsetting, so I left the damaged

1277
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 3: curtain on top of the dog kennel, hoping she'd just

1278
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 3: apologize and we could move on.

1279
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: She didn't.

1280
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 3: That was months ago, and now she says, I never knew.

1281
00:54:54,719 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 3: The room itself is about ten by eight, which is

1282
00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 3: very very small. It's basically a large closet. How she

1283
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 3: didn't notice something in that space is amazing, true talent.

1284
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 3: We did raise her rent for this winter to two

1285
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 3: seventy five, still extremely cheap. We did raise her rent

1286
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 3: for this room to two seventy five, still extremely cheap,

1287
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 3: as someone else offering a room near us is charging

1288
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 3: six fifty and only went down to six hundred upon

1289
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 3: Jane's request, and I'll never be there. We were even

1290
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 3: willing to lower our two seventy five because we felt

1291
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 3: it was too much for what she was getting in

1292
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 3: the house that costs six hundred dollars. She wouldn't even

1293
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 3: have her own bathroom. So realizing now, Jane has a

1294
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 3: pretty good deal here just with rent alone. Not to mention,

1295
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,440
Speaker 3: she leaves an item trail from our front door up

1296
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 3: our stairs, across the landing and to her room. Also,

1297
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:40,799
Speaker 3: mind you, she has an elderly small dog and I

1298
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 3: have a very young, medium dog. I have made a

1299
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,320
Speaker 3: secure safe place on our stairs for the elderly dog,

1300
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 3: including giving up an entire laundry basket so that he

1301
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 3: has a place to sleep. She not only doesn't secure

1302
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:53,719
Speaker 3: him on the stairs, meaning he can get into her

1303
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 3: room and trash it, but she will fill his basket

1304
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 3: with shoes and then leave him on the stairs, knowing

1305
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 3: he has nowhere to lay. She's a airble dog owner.

1306
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:03,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, people like this should not own the animals.

1307
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 3: On top of that, Jane will then leave water bowls

1308
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 3: all over the footing of the stairs where we often

1309
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 3: step and spill.

1310
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: Them, and I guarantee you. She's like, that's your fault.

1311
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, She's like, why did you step on them? The

1312
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 3: stairs are carpeted, No, John in my entire house is

1313
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:19,400
Speaker 3: carpeted except for the bathrooms in kitchen. Looking back, I

1314
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:21,479
Speaker 3: could have trapped them in her bathroom, but it gets

1315
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 3: so hot upstairs. I was always concerned for Jane's dog. Meanwhile,

1316
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 3: she was off fighting with Richard over the dumbest things,

1317
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 3: like her acne and how he's making Rudolph joke.

1318
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 1: Stores are oh, because she's got acne.

1319
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 3: Now, the trash. We have never had problems with ants,

1320
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,359
Speaker 3: but this year, weirdly we do. We know that someone

1321
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 3: in the house is constantly leaving trash in the room. Hmmm,

1322
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,360
Speaker 3: So I openly confront Jane about the ants and the trash.

1323
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 3: A week later, we're back to leaving trash and my

1324
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 3: dishes upstairs.

1325
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,399
Speaker 1: Well, why don't we just look at the ants as

1326
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:54,319
Speaker 1: like a free you know, protein subscription. You've got a

1327
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 1: trail of protein that walks in by itself every day.

1328
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 1: All you gotta do is pick them up and pop

1329
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: them in your mind. Now you've got free ant protein.

1330
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:03,959
Speaker 1: They don't even taste like anything. Guys, They're just ants.

1331
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 1: They're so small they don't taste like anything.

1332
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 3: Again, Oh, he's saying, oh, we never had problems with ants.

1333
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,959
Speaker 3: You had problems with ants? You did when Jane was there?

1334
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 1: Crazy, considerate, mock considerate, mocked.

1335
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 3: Man, oh man, does this girl order door dash? My

1336
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 3: parents know I can barely work, yet they see a

1337
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 3: constant flow of DoorDash in Amazon packages. This is our house,

1338
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,440
Speaker 3: and I'm sure they're wondering where I get the money.

1339
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 3: Funny enough, it isn't mine. She has no care to

1340
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 3: hide the fact that she is not supposed to be

1341
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 3: living here and has had no problem risking it for

1342
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 3: John and me. And although I'm sure it could sway

1343
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 3: my own mother into letting us keep her Why would

1344
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 3: Jane want to put me in the position to have

1345
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 3: that conversation when we're already doing her a solid by

1346
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 3: letting her stay here for the winter. Oh, did I

1347
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:47,439
Speaker 3: not mention the dishes? Jane would use our dishes, which

1348
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 3: is fine, even though we primarily use paper dishes. So

1349
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 3: I was almost solely washing what she used. But I

1350
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 3: even told her, don't worry about washing them because I'm OCD.

1351
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 3: It'd be better if I did it. It was fine

1352
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 3: until she started bringing her purse dishes, dishes she bought

1353
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 3: down for me to wash. I still did it because

1354
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 3: I didn't think too much about it. I'm already doing dishes, right.

1355
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 3: It's not that any of these things alone are that

1356
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 3: big of a problem. It's that it kept going. Jane

1357
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 3: kept taking more and more and more, and if all

1358
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 3: that wasn't enough, wait until you hear about the lastry.

1359
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 1: But what do you mean, op, your your perspective is

1360
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 1: all wrong. It's like not that any of these things

1361
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:25,840
Speaker 1: alone were They're all problems for someone who's paying essentially

1362
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 1: five dollars to live in an entire like bedroom, bathroom,

1363
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 1: like utilities paid like all this, that's a huge problem.

1364
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 3: And I would feel bad for you, Op, if you

1365
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 3: did invite her back.

1366
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:41,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, clearly Op doesn't really think that there's that

1367
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:43,400
Speaker 1: much of a problem going on here.

1368
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 3: You frustrate me. Our basement is a Michigan basement. It's

1369
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:49,160
Speaker 3: gross and I'm embarrassed by it. It also contains our

1370
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 3: washer and dryer. To avoid my embarrassment, I sucked it

1371
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 3: up and told her I'd wash her clothes.

1372
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: Stop it. See, this is the problem. You're enabling all

1373
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 1: of this behavior by not like putting your foot.

1374
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 3: I no longer feel bad for you when the story started,

1375
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 3: I felt bad for you. Now you know, and you

1376
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 3: knew in advance what she was like, and you're just

1377
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 3: letting her get away with everything.

1378
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,480
Speaker 4: So part of the payment plan Jane is literally seeing

1379
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 4: how far she can go and getting away with area.

1380
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 3: And apparently it's very far, extremely far, with a few

1381
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 3: exceptions such as bringing them down on Mondays when I

1382
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 3: do laundry.

1383
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 1: What what are we talking about her? She never made

1384
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: you're her maid.

1385
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 3: And she never did. She'd wait weeks and pile up

1386
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 3: loads of clothes and then just smile and say sorry,

1387
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 3: I am a pos but and that's not even an

1388
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 3: exaggeration that's verbatim. On top of that, she'd wear several

1389
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 3: outfits a day. I'd watch her change your clothes six

1390
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 3: times in one day. How many different outfits do you need?

1391
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:51,080
Speaker 3: We live in a town with less than ten thousand people.

1392
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:53,920
Speaker 3: Who are you dressing up for? And she never once thought, oh,

1393
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 3: I wear a lot, maybe I should take some clothes

1394
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 3: somewhere else. She just assumed that I would wash all

1395
00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 3: of them with no problem. I finally stopped asking her

1396
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 3: to bring them down because it wasn't my problem. And

1397
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 3: that's Jane's favorite thing to say, it's not my responsibility.

1398
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 3: She's twenty eight years old and still hasn't learned that

1399
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:12,440
Speaker 3: sometimes we'd take on others' responsibilities just because we are farmers,

1400
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 3: I mean, adults. Jane wouldn't offer to work a shift

1401
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 3: for me on my birthday because it wasn't her responsibility,

1402
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 3: And then, after making me feel guilty for even implying

1403
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 3: she could work it, she'd try to make me feel

1404
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,480
Speaker 3: guilty for not just asking her, as if it wasn't

1405
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 3: hard hearing her witch and moan about, well, why can't

1406
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 3: this sixteen year old kid with three brain cells do

1407
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 3: it by themselves? And the sixteen year old kid is

1408
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 3: a cool kid. No hate against them, but they can't

1409
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 3: do my job. If I need them as backup, and

1410
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 3: I've been doing it for almost ten years, then why

1411
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 3: would they be able to do it alone after a year.

1412
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 3: You might ask yourselves. I thought you said winters, but

1413
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,920
Speaker 3: it's fall now and this all sounds recent. That's because

1414
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 3: Jane decided with Richard that she wasn't going away for

1415
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 3: the summer. Jane didn't ask John Romi. Jane just assumed

1416
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 3: we'd be okay with it because if you can't gather,

1417
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:57,800
Speaker 3: we're good people and I am a people pleaser. Sadly, Yeah,

1418
01:00:57,880 --> 01:00:58,960
Speaker 3: that's obvious.

1419
01:00:59,240 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 1: We got the CP.

1420
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 3: Put your foot down.

1421
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 4: Please.

1422
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 1: It's true that what you're doing is arguably good, yeah,

1423
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:07,640
Speaker 1: from an optic standpoint, but like if you really broke

1424
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 1: it down, what you're doing is bad because you're enabling

1425
01:01:10,440 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: this person to live in fairy tale fantasyland where they

1426
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 1: don't have to change any of their bad behavior or

1427
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 1: do anything in order to survive in reality. So you're

1428
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,760
Speaker 1: not doing them any favors. You're kind of they're being stunted,

1429
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,439
Speaker 1: and they need to wake up to the reality that they.

1430
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 3: Not to mention that we are extremely against the use

1431
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:32,040
Speaker 3: of hard substances to each throne, but family has affected

1432
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 3: both John's and my lives with substances such as.

1433
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 1: Crystals such as the Walter White.

1434
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 3: I was just gonna say, crystals and spicy flower christology,

1435
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,080
Speaker 3: and so we aren't here for it. Jane once showed

1436
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 3: up at four am, very wasted, yet very hyper. It

1437
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:51,800
Speaker 3: didn't take a genius to figure out she had snorted.

1438
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:55,000
Speaker 1: Spicy flower danced. She took a dance in the spicy.

1439
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 3: Flower while staying under my roof. Knowing my feelings on

1440
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,120
Speaker 3: the matter. Some have even said, Richard, it's supplying Jane,

1441
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 3: and that's why she stays.

1442
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,320
Speaker 1: It breaks my heart. I've seen that happen a couple times.

1443
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:08,960
Speaker 1: That's rough. Yeah, sometimes, so I don't stay away from

1444
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 1: the spicy flower kids.

1445
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,479
Speaker 3: Yes, and I told her if she did it again

1446
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 3: under my roof, she'd be gone for good, because we

1447
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 3: just don't move like that. Unrelated, but I had a

1448
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 3: coworker try to ode, thinking that I would save him what.

1449
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 3: I only offered to let him shower because his water

1450
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 3: was turned off and I was trying to be a

1451
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 3: good person. Needless to say, he went to jail shortly

1452
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 3: after that for unrelated instance.

1453
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 1: Needless to say related, Who is this person? Needless to say?

1454
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 1: What was that about? Where did that come from?

1455
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 3: Probably for the best, bless his soul. But that's just

1456
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 3: the tip of the iceberg when it comes to why

1457
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 3: we don't like the use of hard substances. So I've

1458
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:47,080
Speaker 3: repeatedly given the girl everything just to be ignored and

1459
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:50,600
Speaker 3: taken advantage of. And when I say ignored, I mean ignored.

1460
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:53,120
Speaker 3: I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect. I'm petty for sure,

1461
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 3: and my personal emotions have spilled out into irrelevant conversations

1462
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 3: with Jane, and I've gotten snippy over work related that

1463
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:03,280
Speaker 3: I definitely shouldn't have. But she thought, oh, there's something wrong.

1464
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 3: Maybe if I have void and ignore her and plan

1465
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:08,080
Speaker 3: to move out without saying anything, everything will be fine.

1466
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 3: I didn't know she was planning to finally move out

1467
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:12,920
Speaker 3: after six plus months, even though it was supposed to

1468
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 3: be three at MAX. So I finally confront her about rent. See,

1469
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:19,120
Speaker 3: Jane thought you paid for rent at the end of

1470
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 3: the month. She paid for the month of July on

1471
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 3: July nineteenth and called it early, and I just laughed

1472
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 3: and shrugged it off. At least we were getting the

1473
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 3: rent right Loel. I finally tell her today rent for

1474
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 3: August is due, and if you plan to be here

1475
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 3: for September then it needs to be paid within the

1476
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,400
Speaker 3: first week. She proceeds to tell me how I've been

1477
01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:38,960
Speaker 3: rated towards her. I have been It's been deserved. The

1478
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 3: only time I felt I could get a word in

1479
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 3: between her complaining about work or Richard was when I

1480
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 3: was being rude. I suppose I'm sorry for that, but

1481
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:48,440
Speaker 3: should I be? I've asked her, told her we need

1482
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 3: to talk. I really need a friend, and then when

1483
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 3: I wasn't ready, the one and single time she wanted

1484
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 3: to talk, she took that as we just don't need

1485
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 3: to anymore. She just assumed I text her my issues,

1486
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 3: even though she made it very very clear she doesn't

1487
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 3: like texting conversations like that. But now I'm sitting here wondering,

1488
01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 3: am I the a hole? After two years of this

1489
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 3: a feeling unheard and used? After trying to give Jane

1490
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 3: a second chance, I feel like I am because I

1491
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 3: finally let it all out. Am I the a hole?

1492
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 3: And there are some comments which I need to read

1493
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 3: before we say anything further comment one. Oh wow, this

1494
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 3: is a bad situation you and John have gotten yourselves

1495
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 3: into again. I do feel bad for you. Here's what

1496
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,440
Speaker 3: I think would help. First, you should not be hiding

1497
01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 3: a tenant from your mother. That's dishonest and wrong. She

1498
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:35,120
Speaker 3: holds the mortgage indeed on the house for you and

1499
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 3: gives you a break on your rent amount. She would

1500
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 3: not have agreed to a sloppy tenant with an animal

1501
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 3: and bug infestations in her house. That's messed up too.

1502
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 3: I didn't even think about it. I forgot that your

1503
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 3: mom was your like landlord. Basically, I also forgot and

1504
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,920
Speaker 3: you're hiding a tenant from her? Is that true? Is

1505
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:49,600
Speaker 3: that what happened?

1506
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:49,680
Speaker 1: So?

1507
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 3: Second, you need to give Jane notice that she has

1508
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:54,800
Speaker 3: to move out asap. She has been careless with her

1509
01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 3: tendancy length, month to month rent payments, and extensions.

1510
01:04:57,960 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 1: So just get her out. Yeah you ready for this?

1511
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 1: Found it literally the opening paragraph.

1512
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 4: Let me start with this. My boyfriend and I were

1513
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 4: put into a very lucky situation with a house. However,

1514
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 4: it is still in my mother's name and she can

1515
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:12,320
Speaker 4: easily evict us.

1516
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, yeah, So the mother is the landlord, and

1517
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,400
Speaker 3: you guys are deceiving your mom.

1518
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're the ale, You're the a whole little bit

1519
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:24,480
Speaker 1: everybody's right. Yeah.

1520
01:05:24,560 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 3: Third, try to work on your passive aggressiveness. It is

1521
01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:30,919
Speaker 3: pretty severe. You bottle up a lot, see behind your teeth,

1522
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 3: and then explode. You say you're a people pleaser, but

1523
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:35,320
Speaker 3: this is not pleasing.

1524
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:37,000
Speaker 1: This does not please me, please yourself.

1525
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:39,440
Speaker 3: This is highly dysfunctional and not fair to you or

1526
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:41,760
Speaker 3: the people around you. Lastly, when you have good information

1527
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:45,160
Speaker 3: about a person or a situation, believe yourself exactly. You

1528
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 3: know you never should have had her there in the

1529
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 3: first place, let alone allowed her back for a second year.

1530
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:51,320
Speaker 3: You have to trust yourself that you have a good

1531
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 3: hat on your shoulders and can show good judgment. So

1532
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:57,240
Speaker 3: follow it. Listen to yourself and to John. You knew

1533
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 3: better too, but you didn't listen to him either. Good luck,

1534
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 3: and that is the end of that story. But I

1535
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:05,200
Speaker 3: fully agree with that comment. Get her out of there.

1536
01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 1: She needs to be gone, She needs to be vamoost