WEBVTT - A Golden Bachelor Got Catfished! It Could Happen To You, So BEWARE! 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:16.400 Welcome back to I Do Part two. 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:18.960 Of course, I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Bob Geinny, 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:22.160 and I'm very excited today because I have Jonathan Rone 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:26.599 of course from Jones season of the Golden Bachelorette, and Jonathan. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:27.440 I'm so excited to have you back. 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:30.320 God, you've recently been in the news a little bit lately, 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:32.199 right with all the stuff going on, and I know 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:32.720 you had. 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.200 I know you had a little bit. 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:39.959 Of a little bit of you know, relationship woes recently. 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:44.040 But before we get into any of that stuff, you know, obviously, 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:46.320 I Do Part two is a show that's geared around 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:50.320 people realizing that there is life after divorce, right or 0:00:50.400 --> 0:00:54.440 life after our relationship ends. And I think maybe for 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:57.080 people who didn't watch, you know, your season of the 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:01.040 Golden Bachelorette and things of that new sure they might 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:03.520 not know that how you ended up on that show 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.600 was that, you know, you you had a relationship that 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:08.839 split up, that you were into in for quite some time, 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:10.760 and you know, tell us tell us a little bit 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.600 about that, about you know, what got you to the 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:14.200 point where you had a chance to find love the 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:15.120 second time around. 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.000 Oh gosh, you know what I was. I was out there, 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:20.480 you know, a single guy, you know, on the dating gaps, 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:26.520 and you know, I, I guess my my my pictures 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:31.839 attracted you know a certain I guess interest or something 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:35.120 like that, and you know, I was, Uh, I was 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.479 contacted and thought about, you know, what do you think 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:40.720 about being on the show with the Golden Bachelorette. And 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:42.440 it came. It came out of the blue. So I 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:45.880 was completely blown away. And I thought about it a 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:48.040 couple of times, and I thought about how much time 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:50.440 I would have to take off work. Do I really 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:52.520 want to put myself out there, so to speak like that, 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:55.960 you know, on on national TV looking for love? Because 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.960 you know I'm I'm a pretty private guy. And so 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:02.120 that was a big up for me to consider. And 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.200 I actually said no a couple of times, but then 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:07.640 I was I looked at it as that, you know what, 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:10.799 this is once in a lifetime opportunity. The opportunity came 0:02:10.840 --> 0:02:12.440 to me for a reason, and so I was open 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:16.600 to explore that. And so I went through the process. 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:20.480 I signed on, and I opened myself up to to 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:23.760 see if I could find that that chance of love again. 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:24.760 And what a way to do it? 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:28.400 Yeah, for sure, definitely not a little more. You know. 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:29.880 I used to always say to people when they say, 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.280 you know, did you go on all the dating apps 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:33.359 and stuff? I said, no, I find love the old 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:35.359 fashioned way on television shows. 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:36.040 That's what I do. 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:38.800 But what led you up to that? I mean, had 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:40.920 you how long have you been married previously before you 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:43.000 got divorced? Like what was what was your story there? 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:43.519 Yeah? 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:43.679 You know? 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.760 Okay, So I was married in two thousand and seven, 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:51.240 and prior to prior to meeting my my wife at 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:53.400 the time, I was single for two years. I just 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:56.400 needed to get out of the dating world and quit 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:59.320 you know, falling in falling in love and in out 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:00.760 of love and things like that. I just wanted to 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.919 get myself together, get my heart together, my spirit together, 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:06.400 just like you know, just what what are some really 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.720 good characteristics to be a guy that has integrity and 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:13.080 character and things like that to meet the woman of 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:16.120 his dreams. And so, after two years, a friend of 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:21.240 mine introduced me to someone and it was like love 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.520 at first sight for me, and so we dated for 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:27.520 about ten and a half months. I proposed in Jamaica 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:30.640 and she said she said yes, and so so that 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:34.240 was it. So we were married for gosh, close to 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:36.880 seven years, had two kids at the time of the divorce. 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:39.640 You know, my daughter was I think around six, my 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:43.240 son was three, and so so that was a difficult transition. 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:47.040 We're but we're really close family now and the kids 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.800 are doing great. But after my divorce, I mean I 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:53.400 literally I think I I got to the point where 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:57.000 I think my heart and spirit healed and I was like, 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.760 you know what, I gosh, what would it be like 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:03.240 to eight again? You know? Yeah, yeah, And so I 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:04.720 think that was like a year and a half or 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:08.240 two years before I actually got on the first dating app, 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:11.720 which was a Christian Mingo dating app, and okay, end 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:13.800 up getting Catfish my first tryouts. 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:15.520 No way, you did not. 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.920 Actually I actually sent money to Ghana. 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:22.960 Oh no, that's okay. 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:26.400 Well, okay, you got to explain this to me, because 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.719 I've seen the show on MTV. How did you get Catfish? 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:32.880 You're a smart guy, clearly, you're you know, you're you're 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.800 I'm sure you're you're pretty guarded with you know, your 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:36.839 your heart and everything. 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.880 I mean, how did you end up getting into that situation? 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:41.960 Well? You know what, I I had never heard of 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:44.599 what Catfish was before I never knew about the show 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:47.400 or anything like that. So, you know, like I said, 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:49.440 I went on Christian Mingo was what it was, you know, 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:51.080 because I was thinking, you know, if I'm looking for 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:54.920 another second chance of love, I wanted to have some 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:58.360 core values of Christianity because I'm you know, grew up 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:01.080 Catholic and so I that's part my faith. And so 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.120 I wanted to find a woman that would, you know, 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.359 have those core values. And so I was attracted to 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:11.080 this really, really pretty picture profile and we started communicating 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:13.560 and she was saying that she was from Ghana, she 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.240 wants to come over and we can start a relationship 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:18.440 and things like that, and so I was all in 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:21.280 and I told the guys at work, you know, hey, 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:23.360 I think I found someone. I kind of told them 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:26.200 that I was on this dating app and they were 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:28.480 just cracking up. They're like, man, you got Catfish. You're 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:31.000 getting catfish? And I'm like, what is that? And so 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.479 I checked out the show Catfish and I'm like, wow, 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.080 am I getting Catfish? And so I started to read 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.400 some of the signs and lo and behold, after I 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:41.520 sent the money, I figured that I was I was Catfish. 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:45.599 Because this person man or woman behind this behind the 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:49.599 scene you know, was asking like, you know what what 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:53.320 wireless service was my telephone and was starting to ask 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:55.839 me account information, so I knew. I was like, you 0:05:55.880 --> 0:06:00.200 know what, I felt attempt. 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:03.039 So well that's the word. Now do you mind me 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:04.440 asking how much money did you send? 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:06.159 It was like sixty bucks? 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:09.200 Oh, thank god? Okay, So and Bob, here's here's the 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:10.040 thing I had. 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:13.680 I had did a I had did a a modeling, 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:17.359 a cover or magazine shoot in Kansas City which I 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:20.600 was on the cover, and I thought, you know, I 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.520 would send a copy of this magazine with me on 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:26.720 the cover over to Ghana and I shipped email, so 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.160 I shipped it via mail, and so who knows where 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:29.840 that ended up? 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:33.320 So oh my god, you know I mean that that 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:35.479 probably changes the way you do things now. Now you're 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:38.840 immediately on the dating app first person, You're like, okay, 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:39.640 we can FaceTime. 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:41.680 Let's FaceTime right now? Right? 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:44.320 Well, you know what, you know what after the show, 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:46.560 after I came back from the show, I haven't I 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:48.880 haven't even been on the dating app since I think 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:51.080 it's yeah, yeah, how. 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:52.560 Do you how do your kids feel about you being 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:54.800 back in the dating world. I mean, obviously you seem 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:57.279 like a pretty sensitive guy to me, and my guess 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:00.640 would be that you probably And I say this as 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.200 a divorced man. I say this anytime I talk to someone, 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:06.240 whether they're thinking about going through divorce or whether they're 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:07.560 going through it, I always say, Look, I'm just going 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:10.280 to say this to you straight up. Divorce sucks, even 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:12.040 if you want, even if you're the person that wants 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:14.600 the divorce, trust me, and I tell you it sucks 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:18.400 because there's always there's always regret, there's always heartbreak, there's 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:20.880 always especially with children involved. I can't you know, I 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.840 when I was divorced, I we didn't have children, and 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:26.240 so I can't even imagine how the stakes are so 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:27.160 much higher there. 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.120 And it just hurts, right, I mean, no matter how 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:30.080 you look at it, it hurts. 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:32.480 Yeah. Yeah, there's a certain I was just thinking about 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:34.280 that this morning. It's kind of crazy that you're asking 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.160 me that, because there's a there's a certain sense of brokenness. 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.200 I think as a as a father, you know, because 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:41.200 you know when I, you know, when I when I 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:44.000 had these these ideas of starting a family and and 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:46.360 you know, and and and having kids. It was like, 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:48.880 you know what I thought of us being a whole 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:52.440 family unit, but now it's a different story. And so 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:57.720 so being being a single father so to speak. Is 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:00.680 that Uh every now and then and after all this 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.320 healing that I went through, and I feel like, while 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:06.480 I'm definitely back at myself now, uh, something will happen 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:10.440 that will trigger something, and uh it triggers that brokenness 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:14.080 or that situation, and it brings a sadness there, a 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:16.840 certain sense of sadness. And that's that's the part that sucks. 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.440 You know, Yeah, I get that. I get that totally. 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:24.360 That's where the humility and acceptance and accepting life on 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:27.840 life terms comes in and you just, yeah, just move forward. 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:30.440 Man, You're such a sweetheart of a guy. Man. 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:34.480 I I was I was happy to hear when I 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:36.560 when I heard that you were in a relationship earlier 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:38.880 on in the year, I was happy to hear about that. 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:40.840 But part of me now now. 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.160 Knowing that it didn't quite work out, and and you know, 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:46.800 are you are you disappointed that you know that you 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.120 missed out on some opportunities like you know, vaster and 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:51.880 Paradise and and things of that nature that you you 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:53.959 would have gone on to do, uh, you know, some 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:56.360 more of this fun stuff, because I know you kind 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:59.320 of you kind of if I'm not mistaken, you said 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:01.120 no thanks because you were already in a relationship and 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:04.040 that's why you didn't want to go do that other show, right. 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:06.840 Yeah, for the Bachelor in Paradise said, I said no 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:10.040 thanks because because I was I was broken up. You know, 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:15.400 our relationship ended like the first of the year. Five 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:19.120 has just not been my year. Yes, that's how That's 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:21.240 how it started off. And so at the time that 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.160 the opportunity came my way, I was still going through 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:29.360 heartbreak and you know I felt that that, you know, 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:32.760 being in Paradise, it just wasn't sitting well with me. 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:34.640 And you know what is like, you know, Bob, to 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:36.440 be honest with you, I mean, it's like, you know, 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:39.839 I appreciate the opportunity of being asked like that, but 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:43.400 being on the Golden Bachelorette, that opportunity was a once 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:47.880 in a lifetime opportunity for me, and I genuinely believed 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:50.880 that I opened my heart up to that opportunity to 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:55.120 find love and it didn't work out that way. And 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:58.240 so I guess I would say I would be disingenuous 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:00.600 if I wanted to go back on the show to 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:04.160 find love again, because I looked at the Golden bachl 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:06.760 my one opportunity, and I found out what I needed 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.360 to find out. So that was it was a great journey. 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:11.480 It was a blessed journey. But that blurt that journey 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:13.920 is ended, and so uh, I was just wanting to 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:16.400 move on and move on with my life, so to speak. 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:18.000 And I think that if I would have put myself 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:21.160 in the Bachelor in Paradise, it would have reopened wounds, 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:24.120 so to speak, and I I would have thrown away 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:25.720 a lot of healing that I just went through. 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:28.200 So no, I I appreciate that. 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:31.240 Well, you know I, I guess it's probably the best 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:31.679 time to tell you. 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:31.800 Then. 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.120 I was calling to tell you that we were going 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:34.719 to ask you to be the Golden Bachelor, but it 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:40.160 doesn't sound like you're interested. So would you ever consider that? 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:42.160 I mean, now, let me let me just say this 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.400 to you, because I I understand where you're coming from 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.120 from the disingenuous part, I really do, But I want 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:52.600 to say this so I think sometimes you know you 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.520 can because you remind me a little bit and and 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:57.720 I'm giving myself a very nice compliment here, but you 0:10:57.760 --> 0:10:59.240 remind myself a little bit of me and how I 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:02.640 felt post divorce, and I feel like, you know, you 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:06.320 can be you can kind of cut yourself off from 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:09.679 additional opportunities because you think that there's the right way 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:10.680 and the wrong way to do things. 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.400 But sometimes you never know. Man, maybe second time or 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:14.520 third times a charm, right. 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.600 So I mean, if they were to call you and say, hey, 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:19.880 we want you to be the Golden Bachelor, do you 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:23.080 think you could evaluate that opportunity and look at it 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:25.480 from the standpoint of Okay, the last time I did this, 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:29.440 I was with twenty five guys meeting one woman. That 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.480 one woman found her soulmate in another person, and I 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:36.800 have to respect that. However, I did open up my heart. 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.560 I did find that I was open for the opportunity 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:43.640 for love. Maybe if I let these incredibly talented producers 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:47.800 find twenty five women, maybe one of them might be 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:50.520 the right person for me and might jive with me, right, 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:52.840 Because I mean, I will say, you know, when I 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.680 was the Bachelor, I did not end up proposing to 0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.240 any of the women on my show, but I was 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.320 I love the thing that I had the opportunity to 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:05.280 meet them, and it really made me ready for love. 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:07.280 Like I knew after doing that show. 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:09.280 Even though I didn't find my person on that show, 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.440 I realized what I wanted in a partner and I 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.240 was trying to be a little more discerning, and you know, 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.679 it really kind of almost prepared me for Okay, I'm 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:21.320 going to go through this and I'm going to find 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:21.760 this person. 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:23.080 So I mean, it is possible. 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:25.240 And I always say to my wife, I say to 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.240 Canyon all the time, I'm like, amen, we would have 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:28.480 never met if we're for the Bachelor. 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:29.880 Like granted you were in high school when I was 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:31.880 on the show. Let's not think about it that way. 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:35.280 Let's think about the fact that many years later, because 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.120 of those experiences, lying up the way they did. I 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.360 believe in the butterfly effect. You know, had I not 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:42.439 done those certain things, I would have never met her. 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.080 And that may very well be out there waiting for you. 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:45.280 You know. 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:46.839 I mean, have you ever thought about it that way? 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:48.840 Or are you kind of hell bent on I did 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:50.280 it once, I'm never going to do it again. 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:55.520 Okay, So what is what has recently happened in the 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:58.560 past few months or so. I think that on one side, 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.240 on one side of your question, I would have loved 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.880 that opportunity. I think that opportunity was there for me. 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:07.319 I was I guess I would say I was ready 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:10.400 for that opportunity. And if I guess, you could say 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:13.320 I was the cherry on the top of the cherry 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:15.360 on the tree that was ripe and ready to be picked, 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:19.120 you know. And and so I, you know, I was 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.559 anticipating to see if it was gonna come my way. 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:24.360 And you know, the the things turned out the way 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:26.600 that they did, and so you know, that was that 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:30.200 was my indication, you know, that that that that opportunity, 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.920 that once in an lifetime opportunity to be the Golden 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:38.280 Bachelor was either there or it wasn't meant to be. 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.840 And so so the way things turned out, that just 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:44.480 that just let me know that it wasn't it wasn't 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:48.040 meant to be for me. And and and and that 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:49.920 being said, I mean, on one side, it is like, 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:51.800 you know what if it had been man, I would 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.320 have I would have had a blast. Man, I would 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.960 have I would have had you know, from the experience 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:59.280 of being on the Golden Bachelorette and being familiar with uh, 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.040 with the producers and the background and things like that, 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:04.920 and just being coming of age of who I was 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.360 as a guy and where I've my uh, where I've 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:11.280 grown to be. I think I I think I would 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.320 have been I would have had so much fun and 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:15.800 I you know, I definitely would have been looking for 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:19.360 the right person of twenty five. But now on the 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:22.320 other side, you know that that journey is that's somebody 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:25.160 else's journey. So I'm on a different journey, and uh, 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:29.560 if that opportunity was out there in the future, I 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:31.560 would say that I would probably have to do a 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.680 hard pass on it, because I'm not doing a hard lunch. 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:38.960 But but I would just say that I uh, I 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:41.200 wouldn't be able to uh to accept. 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:51.960 Here's the thing. 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.840 I mean, twenty twenty five, like you said, was not 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.640 a great starting of the year. But we can help 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.840 turn this around. I mean, I don't know if you saw, 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:03.400 but you know one of your mansion man, Gary, he's 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:07.280 in a relationship now. That's exciting. Are you in a 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:09.720 new relationship right now? And if not, you know, I mean, 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:11.600 we got a lot of female listeners. I think probably 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:14.200 ninety percent of our listenership and our viewership on this 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:18.600 is probably female, and I happen to know that they 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:20.520 think you are a pretty good looking dude. 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:24.160 My man and I have a pretty strong. 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:26.320 Indication that there are several women out there listening that 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:27.280 would love to meet you. 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:30.760 But you know, we got hey, we got the holidays 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:32.120 coming up. I get it. I mean, are you in 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:34.240 a relationship right now? Are you? Are you flying solo? 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:35.280 And are you keeping it that way? 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:39.680 Well, you know what, I'm glad. I'm glad that you 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.560 asked me that because I kind of felt that that 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.720 was that was gonna happen, you know, so, like I 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.479 had said on a previous podcast, you know that I 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:50.160 tried to do my best to you know, with the 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:55.720 experience of you know, announcing that relationship publicly and what 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:59.680 happened after that and just kind of guarding my private life. 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:01.920 But uh, but I but I will say, you know, 0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:04.360 I I you know, Bob, I'll just let you know that, 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:07.359 uh that I'm I'm a spoken I'm spoken. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:09.640 For Okay, all right, I like that. 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:11.680 I'll just leave it at that. It's like, you know, 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.000 it just reminds me of is like, you know, my 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:18.640 my heart's my heart is back in a place where 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:22.680 you know, it reminded me of a Christopher Marlowe poem 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:27.800 goes something like, go something like it's about the passionate, 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:31.120 the passionate shepherd to his love. He's like, come live 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:34.360 with me and be my love, and we will all 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:39.480 these pleasures prove that valleys, groves, hills and fields, woods 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:44.440 or steepy mountains field or steepy mountains yield. And so 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:48.880 that that poem just resonates with me because I'm just 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:52.720 looking to share my life with someone that's looking to 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.280 enjoy the simple things this life. It's it's not about 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.320 the materialistic, it's not about the money. It's about being 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:01.320 connected with nature and being connected with each other. 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:05.359 And so yeah, yeah, I love it, man, I love it. 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:06.879 I love you. I love the way you are, I 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:07.720 love your attitude. 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:10.240 I love You're such a kind and gentle dude, man, 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:13.000 And I always appreciated that about you. So many of 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:16.240 the guys from the Golden franchise I've loved getting to 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.000 know over the last several years, and you know, feel 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.000 like we're friends and feel like, you know, at the 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:22.399 end of the day, it's one of those things, you know, 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:24.600 we all have this kind of unusual bond of something 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:25.320 that we've done. 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.840 That's really weird, right that, you know. I mean it's 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:29.680 crazy because I. 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.720 Did I did it twenty years ago and it's still 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.560 go in the day, which is bananas to me. But 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:36.000 it's one of those things when you when you look 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:38.359 at it, the experiences are pretty similar, you know, like 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:40.800 I always like in Joe and season to the fact 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.560 that you know, when I was on Trista's season, the 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:45.680 guys we just got along great, you know, like we 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:48.600 just we were truly buddies. And and you can see 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:50.560 that with you all, you know, with your your crew, 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:54.000 still being friends, still keeping in touch, and you know, 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:56.600 and it's still root, still genuinely. 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:58.080 Rooting for each other. And you can see that. You know. 0:17:58.119 --> 0:17:59.680 That's one of the things I love the most about 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.000 all you eyes. And I just think it's pretty awesome 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:05.520 to see. How has it been watching this season of 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:08.600 The Golden Bachelor knowing, you know, knowing how close you 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.719 were to possibly be in that guy? I mean, how 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:12.959 interesting is it for you to watch the show unfold 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:14.240 this year? Yeah? 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.840 You know, uh, I've watched just a little bit, you know, 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.000 I've watched like the premiere the opening, and then I 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:23.679 watched I think, like the one episode and then like 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.080 maybe the half of the second, you know, I you know, 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:28.920 I just got to the point where I just gosh, 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:30.880 like I said, man, twenty twenty five has just been 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:36.120 a year of hard knocks, so to speak, spiritually and emotionally. 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:38.919 And uh, one of the one of the things I 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:41.119 needed to do for myself, for my self care was 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:45.160 in a certain sense, kind of disassociate myself from that, 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:47.919 you know, because you know, there was there was so 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:51.800 much on the line with you know, gosh, is the 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:53.680 Golden Bachelor is going to come my way? What would 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.080 happen if it does? And blah blah blah, and and 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:57.879 and thinking that I had a fan base that was 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.000 supporting that, and you know, all these emotion highs and lows, 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:04.640 and and then like you know, then when the selection 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:06.679 was made, it was it was like it was like 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:09.600 a gut punch, you know. So yeah, yeah, and so 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:11.679 I had to recover. I had to recover from that, 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:14.040 and part of and part of my recovery was, like, 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:17.960 you know what, I I wanted to disengage myself from it. 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.040 And so so I've watched a little bit of it, 0:19:20.080 --> 0:19:22.879 but I've I've kind of steered away from it not 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:25.239 to get so caught up into it. You know, I 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.439 know that you know, with the with the with with 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:30.600 a statement that kind of made the headlines. You know, 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:34.199 I was just you know, supporting, supporting mail. You know, 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.000 if it was a mistake, you know that uh, that 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:40.199 his apology was genuine, hopefully that it was genuine, and 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.320 that it was accepted by the women as genuine, and 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:44.880 then uh, you know that he could find find love. 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:48.040 And so that was that was my main I think 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:50.320 my main push for watching the show for. 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.600 What I no, I get it and I and I 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:57.399 get that disassociation part too. I think everybody, everybody reaches 0:19:57.440 --> 0:19:59.080 a point where it's kind of like, Okay, I need 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:00.720 to take a step back, you know, I need to 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:03.719 get my real life back in check here, and then 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:05.720 maybe I can go back and dabble. I mean I 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:07.560 I probably did that as well, you know at some 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:10.600 point along the along the way, because you know, it's 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:12.760 when you're married for a couple of years and you're 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:14.840 still known as Bash or Bob and your kids are like, what, 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:18.480 it's kind of weird. So sometimes it's like, you know, 0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:20.040 I need to pump the brakes on this part of 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:21.600 my life for a minute, and I'll come back to it. 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:22.879 So I respect that. 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:25.400 It's almost like, you know, it's a it's a reality 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:27.760 TV show, but it's not reality, you know, because it's 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:30.520 in a certain sense it's not reality. And then you know, 0:20:30.560 --> 0:20:32.840 if you do find love and you're and you you 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:35.720 have a relationship, then that becomes the reality. But then 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:39.240 outside of that, it's like you know, when I when 0:20:39.280 --> 0:20:42.240 I go into the Dollar the you know, to the 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:45.320 local stores here in town, and and every now and then, 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:48.760 as time has passed, someone will say, hey, aren't weren't 0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:50.439 you the guy? Weren't you the guy on the golden 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:54.320 on the Golden betsurette? And that feels good. Yeah, it 0:20:54.400 --> 0:20:57.399 almost it almost takes me out of my reality, so 0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:00.399 to speak, and it makes me jump back into that 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:04.760 that work. And it's like, you know what, but I 0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:07.159 but I don't get me wrong, I do like to 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:09.439 be uh. I like the recognition every now and then. 0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:10.320 I like the spotlight. 0:21:11.160 --> 0:21:14.040 I think I think anybody who says they don't, I mean, 0:21:14.040 --> 0:21:16.600 there's only one guy and this is God's honest truth, 0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:20.880 one human being. I say guy because I'll go guy, 0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:22.480 because I don't know the women as well from the 0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:23.199 different seasons. 0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:25.600 But one guy that I've ever met. 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:28.000 In the history of this franchise, and I've been around 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:30.920 since the first season of the Bacherette and the fourth 0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:34.800 season of The Bachelor, only one that I can say 0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:40.560 genuinely does not want any recognition, genuinely. 0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:43.240 Skirts away from it. And that's Trista's husband, Ryan Sutter. 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:45.639 Ryan is one of the few guys and if you 0:21:45.680 --> 0:21:47.080 meet him, you'll you'll see this. 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:51.840 He's he's not like Anti. It's just he doesn't need it. 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:53.280 And the rest of us kind of feed off of 0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:55.640 it a little bit, like I love like my wife 0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:56.520 will go does it ever get. 0:21:56.359 --> 0:21:58.280 Old for you? And I'm like, no, everyone's always so nice. 0:21:58.280 --> 0:22:00.680 I love it. You know, it's fun, it's it's engaging, 0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:01.560 it keeps me, you know. 0:22:02.000 --> 0:22:04.639 But it's like, you know, Ryan doesn't need it, like 0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:07.200 Trista and I will go to events with Ryan and 0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:09.000 my wife and the two. 0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:11.000 Of them will go off and watch us walk. 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:13.240 The red carpet and do our thing, and and it's funny, 0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:14.679 you know, so I get it. It's like it's like, 0:22:14.720 --> 0:22:17.399 you know, and who knows, maybe I was going to 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:20.280 ask you two questions about this the person you're seeing, 0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:22.520 and obviously we're gonna keep that kind of low key. 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:25.239 Do you think the two of you have a lot 0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:29.560 of similarities from personality perspective? Is she even more private 0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:31.560 than you? Is she more out there than you? More 0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:35.000 personality like what is what is the vibe there? Oh? 0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:38.000 Yeah, definitely more definitely more private. And it's like, you 0:22:38.040 --> 0:22:41.000 know what, as you know, and she has she has 0:22:41.040 --> 0:22:44.040 such a wonderful heart. It's like, you know what she 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:49.080 she looked and considered she put in consideration of you know, 0:22:49.600 --> 0:22:52.760 you know, I'm still associated with the show. I've still 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:58.120 got like fourteen fifteen thous or gosh, fifteen thousand followers, 0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:01.000 like you said that are mostly women, and so there's yeah, yeah, 0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:03.919 so she has to she's dealt with that, you know, 0:23:04.840 --> 0:23:08.679 and uh and the anxiety that she's gotten from that, 0:23:09.280 --> 0:23:13.480 and so her heart went out to you know, previous 0:23:13.520 --> 0:23:16.280 you know, my previous relationship. You know that that the 0:23:16.320 --> 0:23:20.440 anxiety that she probably went through. And and I never 0:23:20.480 --> 0:23:22.639 really looked at it from that perspective because I'm like, 0:23:22.680 --> 0:23:25.439 I was enjoying the limelight. I enjoyed like putting myself 0:23:25.480 --> 0:23:29.160 out there. But she, uh, she made it. She made 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:31.080 me look at it this way. Well what is yeah, 0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:34.320 what if the shoes were on the other foot and 0:23:35.280 --> 0:23:39.160 she was She's got fifteen thousand guys that are messenger 0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:42.600 telling her, you know, how hot she looks and things 0:23:42.680 --> 0:23:45.800 like that, How would I feel? And I never thought 0:23:45.800 --> 0:23:48.159 of it that way? And so, uh so we have 0:23:48.240 --> 0:23:51.359 the mutual respect and understanding about that, and uh yeah, 0:23:51.480 --> 0:23:53.960 that's a really really core value that we do have 0:23:54.040 --> 0:23:54.840 that with each other. 0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:56.280 No, that's nice. 0:23:56.320 --> 0:23:58.320 I mean, at the end of the day, that's one 0:23:58.359 --> 0:23:59.679 of those things you kind of got to have some 0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:03.920 type of agreement and understanding, you know, like there definitely 0:24:03.960 --> 0:24:06.320 is additional pressures there, there's no question you know. 0:24:06.880 --> 0:24:08.640 So I definitely I understand that. 0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:12.600 It's one of these things that I've learned it even 0:24:12.600 --> 0:24:18.240 in my golden years. Is sixty two boundaries, Yeah, considered 0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:23.680 boundaries and how important boundaries are. And that's a boundary 0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:27.080 you know when a woman, when a woman opens her 0:24:27.080 --> 0:24:28.840 heart up to you and wants to open up more 0:24:28.880 --> 0:24:31.879 to you, and you got to know what the boundaries are. 0:24:32.320 --> 0:24:36.320 Yeah, well that's nice. Yeah, it's nice to be respectful 0:24:36.320 --> 0:24:38.640 of that. I mean, you know, so that's that's obviously 0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:41.120 something that people need to take more seriously. Let's get 0:24:41.119 --> 0:24:43.399 into a couple of just lighthearted questions because I know 0:24:43.440 --> 0:24:44.720 you've been around a little bit. 0:24:44.680 --> 0:24:45.800 Now, you've dated a lot. 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:48.160 You know, I'd like to hear what your thoughts are 0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:51.720 on this. So you know, obviously, people as we get older, 0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:55.119 I'm fifty four, you're sixty two. People as we get older, 0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:57.879 things shift, right, things get a little bit different for 0:24:57.960 --> 0:25:01.000 us after a certain age. What are some things that 0:25:01.119 --> 0:25:04.320 you think in your experience of dating? Obviously, I think 0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:07.080 boundaries is one of them that that should be more important, 0:25:07.280 --> 0:25:10.320 right and and and recognizing those and respecting those. What 0:25:10.400 --> 0:25:12.600 are some things after the age of fifty while dating 0:25:12.640 --> 0:25:14.600 that you think people should lighten up a little bit on, 0:25:14.840 --> 0:25:16.879 Like are there any things that you encountered where you 0:25:16.960 --> 0:25:19.199 were just like what are you doing? You know, like 0:25:19.520 --> 0:25:21.960 let it go or or anything like that that maybe 0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:25.560 kind of struck you as after a certain age, we 0:25:25.560 --> 0:25:27.320 should probably kind of chalk that one up. 0:25:27.440 --> 0:25:29.360 Anything anything out there that makes you think like that. 0:25:30.160 --> 0:25:34.040 Gosh, you know what I think I think maybe the 0:25:34.080 --> 0:25:39.239 intentionality I think, you know, I think if you if 0:25:39.320 --> 0:25:41.280 you if you want to go into a relationship or 0:25:41.320 --> 0:25:46.120 going to the dating world, know what your intentions are? 0:25:46.200 --> 0:25:48.479 Are you looking for are you looking to date? Are 0:25:48.520 --> 0:25:51.040 you looking to date around? You know, and that person, 0:25:51.080 --> 0:25:54.120 that other person needs to know that if they're open, 0:25:54.280 --> 0:25:56.440 if they're open for that, then that kind of leads 0:25:56.480 --> 0:25:57.640 to lightheartedness. 0:25:58.280 --> 0:25:58.440 Uh. 0:25:58.600 --> 0:26:00.920 But then there's the intentionality is like, you know what, 0:26:01.080 --> 0:26:03.920 are you looking to get married? That changes the whole 0:26:03.960 --> 0:26:06.560 that changes the whole script of things, you know, And 0:26:07.640 --> 0:26:10.399 so like I was thinking about intentionality the other day. 0:26:10.440 --> 0:26:12.119 I don't even know why I think about Sometimes I 0:26:12.160 --> 0:26:15.840 think about metaphors. They helped me like put things in perspective. 0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:19.639 I was thinking intentionality as far as like getting married 0:26:20.080 --> 0:26:22.800 or finding someone to marry is almost like, you know, 0:26:22.840 --> 0:26:26.280 when you book a plane somewhere the most the most 0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:28.760 romantic destination you want to go to. Are you going 0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:32.280 to book direct are you gonna are you gonna have 0:26:32.359 --> 0:26:36.280 connecting flights for me? For me? Intentionality, if you're looking 0:26:36.280 --> 0:26:39.520 to find that one person, it's almost like booking a 0:26:39.600 --> 0:26:42.600 direct flight. You know what you know, you know point A, 0:26:42.760 --> 0:26:45.840 you know point B. So I'm at the point now 0:26:45.880 --> 0:26:48.919 that at sixty two with you know, with with dating 0:26:48.960 --> 0:26:52.680 before married and then getting divorced, and then dating after divorce, 0:26:53.720 --> 0:26:58.359 and then the relationships after the show. I'm not looking 0:26:58.400 --> 0:27:00.919 for connecting flights. I'm not looking for baggage. I'm not 0:27:00.960 --> 0:27:02.760 looking to see if I'm going to lose any luggage 0:27:02.760 --> 0:27:08.240 in the transition. I'm looking for a direct a direct. 0:27:07.840 --> 0:27:10.800 Flight, direct flight. Yeah, you're going point A to point B. 0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:13.119 I like that, I mean, and that's true. 0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:14.960 You know, I've often said a lot about like with 0:27:15.000 --> 0:27:17.040 the Golden Franchise one of the things, like for example, 0:27:17.080 --> 0:27:19.679 with UH with Gary and Teres for example, where I 0:27:19.680 --> 0:27:23.160 thought they kind of you know, missed on it was I. 0:27:23.119 --> 0:27:24.800 Thought, man, you know why? 0:27:25.520 --> 0:27:27.760 And here again, I mean, it's obviously something that's important 0:27:27.760 --> 0:27:29.680 to you too, Like it sounds like you do want 0:27:29.680 --> 0:27:31.360 to be married again, or you you at least want 0:27:31.359 --> 0:27:35.280 to have that that committed companionship with someone, you know. 0:27:35.400 --> 0:27:37.959 For them, I was like, they got grandkids, you know, 0:27:38.040 --> 0:27:40.040 in different places, Like it's gonna be really hard to 0:27:40.040 --> 0:27:42.480 get married and leave your grandkids. Like you know, I 0:27:42.520 --> 0:27:45.159 guess every situation is different, and everybody's different with what 0:27:45.200 --> 0:27:47.680 they need of a relationship, and you know, those things 0:27:47.720 --> 0:27:50.240 have to be weighed and measured, and you have to 0:27:50.280 --> 0:27:51.840 think about them and like you said, they have to 0:27:51.840 --> 0:27:54.520 be respected. When you hear people say things like like 0:27:54.600 --> 0:27:57.040 kind of superfluous things like oh, you know, I would 0:27:57.040 --> 0:27:59.159 not date a guy who's under six foot and I 0:27:59.200 --> 0:28:03.320 will not date a guy who's you know, over seventy. 0:28:03.520 --> 0:28:06.600 You know, do you think that kind of stuff. Isn't 0:28:06.600 --> 0:28:08.280 that getting kind of ridiculous at this point? Or do 0:28:08.280 --> 0:28:10.280 you think that it's one of those things where love 0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:11.879 is love and if you find it, you find it 0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:13.800 and you're lucky no matter how it's packaged. 0:28:14.280 --> 0:28:16.920 Yeah, I think that. I think it is pretty ridiculous 0:28:16.960 --> 0:28:20.960 if you put those kind of like measures on yourself, 0:28:21.000 --> 0:28:24.159 because yeah, you may be looking, you may be cutting 0:28:24.200 --> 0:28:26.280 out the great opportunity to meet the best person in 0:28:26.320 --> 0:28:30.720 your life, you know. Yeah, And like you said, love love, 0:28:30.880 --> 0:28:34.120 love is love and love love knows. I mean, once 0:28:34.280 --> 0:28:37.520 once Cupid draws back, that arrow man knee shoots, just 0:28:37.560 --> 0:28:39.960 like you know what, you don't know what hits you, 0:28:40.600 --> 0:28:47.600 and you you might be looking for the specific person height, age, 0:28:47.920 --> 0:28:50.560 hair color, and then all of a sudden someone comes 0:28:50.560 --> 0:28:53.120 out of the blue and you're like, what the what 0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:54.040 the hell happened? 0:28:54.120 --> 0:28:56.160 Yeah, well, sound think that's what happened to you. You 0:28:56.200 --> 0:28:58.520 were you were pretty much bound to termined. Twenty twenty 0:28:58.520 --> 0:29:01.440 five was going to be a disaster. Oh and now 0:29:01.680 --> 0:29:05.120 you've kind of already started that turnaround process. 0:29:05.120 --> 0:29:07.840 And it sounds like finding someone special. And you know, 0:29:08.440 --> 0:29:10.960 I'm sure you know with the age your kids. 0:29:10.720 --> 0:29:13.000 Are at too. Now, I've kind of I'm a pretty 0:29:13.000 --> 0:29:16.120 good math guy. So I'm guessing there what late teens. 0:29:16.160 --> 0:29:19.200 Probably my my daughter, My daughter is seventeen, she's a 0:29:19.240 --> 0:29:22.479 senior in high school now, and yeah, she and her 0:29:22.520 --> 0:29:24.720 team are killing it on the volleyball court. They're thirty 0:29:24.720 --> 0:29:28.120 six and so far this year on the feat, you 0:29:28.200 --> 0:29:29.560 haven't even lost one set. 0:29:30.320 --> 0:29:30.680 Wow. 0:29:31.200 --> 0:29:34.840 My son is thirteen, he's going to be fourteen here 0:29:35.080 --> 0:29:38.360 next month, and he's in the seventh grade. So yeah, 0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:41.440 they are growing and and yeah, so it's like you 0:29:41.480 --> 0:29:44.920 know what, you know, I've had my fair shake at 0:29:45.280 --> 0:29:47.520 the relationships, you know, And you know, Bob, it's like, 0:29:47.560 --> 0:29:51.400 you know what I've always, I've always I don't want 0:29:51.400 --> 0:29:53.160 to say I'm naive at love, but it's like you 0:29:53.200 --> 0:29:55.400 know what I I just when I fall in love, 0:29:55.400 --> 0:29:57.920 I fall hard and I fall fast. And so you know, 0:29:57.960 --> 0:30:00.680 what's what's happening now is that we're in our time. 0:30:00.720 --> 0:30:03.280 I have someone in my life that's saying, you know what, 0:30:04.000 --> 0:30:05.240 slow down? You know? 0:30:05.760 --> 0:30:18.080 Yeah, well, and you had your kids a little later too, 0:30:18.120 --> 0:30:20.000 Like I mean you had your kids sounding like forty 0:30:20.000 --> 0:30:22.320 five and forty eight, forty five and forty So I. 0:30:22.240 --> 0:30:25.240 Have my daughter when I was forty six forty six. 0:30:25.280 --> 0:30:28.680 Okay, yeah, so I had you know, my first child. 0:30:29.840 --> 0:30:32.240 You know, we have our first child when I was 0:30:32.440 --> 0:30:35.440 forty eight forty eight, and then my second when we 0:30:35.440 --> 0:30:38.560 were fifty. So, I mean, you're kind of in a weird, 0:30:39.000 --> 0:30:43.280 a different spot from a dating divorce guy who's technically 0:30:43.640 --> 0:30:46.760 golden right, because most of the goldens, I guess would 0:30:46.760 --> 0:30:48.560 have probably the majority if they if they've got kids, 0:30:48.600 --> 0:30:51.320 they are probably married with kids and their grandpa's You're 0:30:51.320 --> 0:30:53.240 not right. You got kids in high school, you got 0:30:53.280 --> 0:30:56.400 younger kids still, So does that factor in when you're dating? 0:30:56.480 --> 0:30:59.480 Like do you how how soon? How soon do you 0:30:59.520 --> 0:31:01.560 tell the story of your divorce? How soon do you 0:31:01.640 --> 0:31:03.640 bring up the kids? When do they get to meet 0:31:03.640 --> 0:31:04.120 the kids? 0:31:04.600 --> 0:31:04.640 Like? 0:31:04.720 --> 0:31:06.640 How I mean, is there is there some hard fast 0:31:06.720 --> 0:31:07.880 rules for you on that stuff? 0:31:09.400 --> 0:31:11.880 Uh? Like I said, with the intentionality all that, all 0:31:11.880 --> 0:31:15.480 that kind of came out in the beginning conversations. Yeah, yeah, 0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:19.160 you know, you know exactly who you are, who I am, 0:31:19.320 --> 0:31:21.520 what's going on in your life. And then just like 0:31:21.560 --> 0:31:22.960 you know, then you have the then you have the 0:31:23.040 --> 0:31:24.600 choice of whether you want to continue to go on 0:31:24.680 --> 0:31:26.840 and go on with that or not. And so uh 0:31:27.000 --> 0:31:30.240 so yeah, so uh so there's continuity there and uh 0:31:30.520 --> 0:31:32.280 and so, like it was kind of funny though, like 0:31:32.560 --> 0:31:34.800 when the show is like you know when when uh, 0:31:34.920 --> 0:31:37.920 you know, being Golden and uh and it was, and 0:31:38.000 --> 0:31:41.840 people had found out that I had younger kids. Yeah, 0:31:41.920 --> 0:31:43.560 I was just cracking up with some of the comments 0:31:43.600 --> 0:31:45.680 because they were thinking that my kids were like, you know, 0:31:45.680 --> 0:31:47.120 they're like, well, who's going to want to date a 0:31:47.160 --> 0:31:49.440 guy that's got you know, they're going to take care 0:31:49.480 --> 0:31:52.920 of his kids, like like their infants or toddlers. I'm like, 0:31:52.960 --> 0:31:56.240 you know what, you know, my my daughter's in high school, 0:31:56.280 --> 0:31:58.840 my son's going to be in high school the next day. 0:31:59.240 --> 0:32:01.360 You know what, I'm pretty much close to being an 0:32:01.440 --> 0:32:05.440 empty mester. I mean I'm like basically basically five years away, 0:32:05.480 --> 0:32:09.640 and so meeting someone with the intentionality of like knowing 0:32:09.680 --> 0:32:13.240 that Hey, I'm looking at a five year window basically 0:32:13.360 --> 0:32:16.880 of you know, getting my kids through school when they're 0:32:16.920 --> 0:32:19.160 off and doing their own things. Like you know what, 0:32:19.480 --> 0:32:22.520 if we've already built a five year relationship and I'm 0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:26.120 ready to spread my wings and relocate somewhere, then we've 0:32:26.120 --> 0:32:29.640 already got a good foundation for that beginning to happen. 0:32:30.680 --> 0:32:32.880 Yeah. No, it makes sense to me. I get it. 0:32:32.920 --> 0:32:35.240 And I was thinking about that because I mean, not 0:32:35.320 --> 0:32:38.560 that I'm playing on, you know, getting divorced, but I 0:32:38.600 --> 0:32:41.000 would be that guy, right, I'd be you know, when 0:32:41.040 --> 0:32:44.040 I'm sixty two. I mean, geez, when I'm sixty two, 0:32:45.120 --> 0:32:47.920 that would be what eight years for me. Grayson would 0:32:47.960 --> 0:32:51.360 be fourteen, you know, Blake would be twelve, so be 0:32:51.400 --> 0:32:54.080 right in that same you know, Wheelhouse, I guess a 0:32:54.120 --> 0:32:54.600 little bit. 0:32:54.480 --> 0:32:56.160 Younger for you than what you've got. 0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:58.280 But yeah, well, I mean at the end of the day, 0:32:58.320 --> 0:32:59.880 I would have to imagine that a lot of the 0:33:00.040 --> 0:33:03.880 uh relationship qualities that that you're looking for, you know, 0:33:04.200 --> 0:33:06.640 I would imagine you're looking for someone with some empathy, 0:33:07.240 --> 0:33:09.640 You're looking for someone with a big heart, someone who 0:33:09.800 --> 0:33:12.080 you know is willing to allow you to be yourself, 0:33:12.160 --> 0:33:14.280 but also isn't afraid to let you know what they 0:33:14.320 --> 0:33:16.600 need from you. And it sounds like she's done that 0:33:16.800 --> 0:33:21.720 and you're perfectly capable and happy with uh, with the 0:33:21.720 --> 0:33:23.840 way things are going. So for that, I'm I'm so 0:33:23.960 --> 0:33:25.920 excited to hear. I mean, you're such a great guy, 0:33:25.960 --> 0:33:27.640 and I love seeing you happy, buddy, And you can 0:33:27.680 --> 0:33:31.440 tell that you've found someone who is making you happy, 0:33:31.480 --> 0:33:33.000 so you know, good for you. 0:33:33.360 --> 0:33:35.720 And here's the thing too, about with the with the 0:33:35.760 --> 0:33:39.720 intentionality and kind of knowing what we both are looking for, 0:33:40.440 --> 0:33:42.720 it kind of spares me in a sense that of 0:33:42.880 --> 0:33:46.320 things if if we find out that maybe it's not 0:33:46.480 --> 0:33:49.600 meant to be and we're but we've got this opportunity 0:33:49.680 --> 0:33:53.000 to be friends. What happens, though, is that what has 0:33:53.000 --> 0:33:58.480 happened in my previous relationships is that jumping in fast 0:33:58.680 --> 0:34:02.560 and falling out fast is really really destroys my heart 0:34:02.560 --> 0:34:08.200 and spirit this last relationship, man, I mean it, it really, 0:34:08.280 --> 0:34:12.440 it really really hurt, and and so it gives me 0:34:12.480 --> 0:34:14.959 the opportunity to say, you know, i'd look back and say, 0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:17.279 you know what, if I don't want to feel that 0:34:17.360 --> 0:34:20.360 kind of that kind of pain again, then uh, yeah, 0:34:20.400 --> 0:34:24.400 maybe I do need to take it slow. When I 0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:28.080 find that person again, you know, what are those boundaries 0:34:28.080 --> 0:34:30.440 and what are those intentions and things like that, because 0:34:30.600 --> 0:34:33.640 if if we find out, you know, after getting to 0:34:33.680 --> 0:34:36.480 know each other and and kind of knowing what we're 0:34:36.520 --> 0:34:38.440 walking into and what we both want. But if it 0:34:38.480 --> 0:34:40.960 doesn't work out, least we know that we can walk 0:34:41.000 --> 0:34:44.520 away friends and I won't feel like I'm falling off 0:34:44.520 --> 0:34:45.920 the cliffs somewhere with right. 0:34:46.560 --> 0:34:48.359 You know, yeah, I get that. 0:34:48.520 --> 0:34:50.200 I mean that that's kind of part of it too, 0:34:50.200 --> 0:34:52.319 Like I always think about that with people you know 0:34:52.320 --> 0:34:55.200 that are dating, that are single with with children. You know, 0:34:55.239 --> 0:34:56.879 you never want to take your kids down that path 0:34:56.920 --> 0:35:00.239 too often either, Right, So it's like, exactly, God bid 0:35:00.280 --> 0:35:02.000 you keep introducing them to everybody that you think is 0:35:02.000 --> 0:35:03.560 gonna be the next great thing, and they and that 0:35:03.640 --> 0:35:06.160 person's gone, and now that your kids are like, you 0:35:06.200 --> 0:35:08.560 know what's going on. You know, I'm sure it's confusing. So, 0:35:09.239 --> 0:35:12.000 you know, good for you on being a little more 0:35:12.000 --> 0:35:14.040 protective of that. You know, I think it's hard when 0:35:14.080 --> 0:35:16.719 you're I mean, because I get it. You know, you 0:35:16.800 --> 0:35:18.360 fall in love and you think this is it, this 0:35:18.440 --> 0:35:19.799 is the greatest thing in the world, and then now 0:35:19.800 --> 0:35:21.279 he probably be a little bit of time. You have 0:35:21.320 --> 0:35:23.239 that retrospect or you can look back and you're like, Okay, 0:35:23.280 --> 0:35:26.239 I can see why this didn't work right, and I'm 0:35:26.239 --> 0:35:28.480 gonna change this moving forward. I'm gonna do something different 0:35:28.520 --> 0:35:32.440 this next time around. And you know, so, I think, well, 0:35:32.520 --> 0:35:33.960 one thing I think this is kind of great too, 0:35:34.040 --> 0:35:35.520 is now that you and Gary are both dating. 0:35:35.600 --> 0:35:38.440 I mean, you know, you guys rolling into Detroit. We'll 0:35:38.440 --> 0:35:40.680 grab canyon, we'll all go out on double date. We'll 0:35:40.719 --> 0:35:44.560 go triple date, triple date. What do you say, right? Yeah? 0:35:44.600 --> 0:35:46.839 When are you guys swinging through the detown anytime soon? 0:35:46.880 --> 0:35:48.240 The motor city needs you, buddy. 0:35:48.760 --> 0:35:51.400 Yeah. Yeah, Well you know I've never been to Detroit. 0:35:52.160 --> 0:35:53.880 Oh buddy, that's a loss. 0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:58.360 Well I will say this, if you haven't been able 0:35:58.400 --> 0:36:01.120 to get here before about the middle of November, wait 0:36:01.160 --> 0:36:01.680 till spring. 0:36:02.360 --> 0:36:03.400 The winners are brutal. 0:36:03.800 --> 0:36:06.520 But how about this, because I do think you're someone 0:36:06.560 --> 0:36:09.320 who would you strike me as someone who would. 0:36:09.120 --> 0:36:12.400 Give very good advice. Do you have any parting. 0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:14.279 Words, you know, any anything that you could say to 0:36:14.360 --> 0:36:17.560 people out there who you know, I think are going 0:36:17.600 --> 0:36:21.399 through divorce or going through a relationship breakup and who 0:36:21.440 --> 0:36:24.319 are you know, maybe feeling a little helpless right now, 0:36:24.400 --> 0:36:26.960 or maybe feeling a little bit defeated, you know, anything 0:36:27.040 --> 0:36:28.880 that you could share with them, because I mean, you 0:36:28.920 --> 0:36:30.840 even said one of the things you said that I 0:36:30.880 --> 0:36:32.719 didn't really touch on, but I heard it, and I 0:36:32.760 --> 0:36:35.160 don't want you to think I didn't, but I heard 0:36:35.160 --> 0:36:37.640 you say, you know, you were beginning to wonder if there. 0:36:37.520 --> 0:36:40.000 Was something wrong with you, and maybe you know you weren't. 0:36:40.600 --> 0:36:41.800 Are you know, not lovable? 0:36:41.920 --> 0:36:45.960 Not feeling you know, I get why people feel that 0:36:46.000 --> 0:36:48.320 when they're going through those hard times, and I've definitely 0:36:48.400 --> 0:36:49.200 been there myself. 0:36:49.800 --> 0:36:51.040 But any advice that you have. 0:36:51.040 --> 0:36:53.440 Now that you're where you're at right now emotionally and 0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:56.279 spiritually and everything else that you could give people while 0:36:56.280 --> 0:36:57.600 they're going through a dark time. 0:36:57.440 --> 0:37:01.040 Like that, Yeah, I tell you it's the advice I 0:37:01.040 --> 0:37:04.400 would give is that you know what you know? Uh, 0:37:04.800 --> 0:37:07.520 I understand that that love is not for the faint 0:37:07.560 --> 0:37:09.520 at heart. You know, it's a it's a wonderful feeling 0:37:09.560 --> 0:37:11.360 to fall in love. It's a wonderful feeling to be 0:37:11.440 --> 0:37:14.000 in love, but when you when it happens, when it 0:37:14.760 --> 0:37:18.600 when when things end suddenly or they they just stop. 0:37:19.160 --> 0:37:19.359 Uh. 0:37:19.760 --> 0:37:21.960 It hurts, and it's a human emotion, and it's like, 0:37:22.000 --> 0:37:25.640 you know what, it's an emotion to uh, to embrace, 0:37:25.800 --> 0:37:29.239 it's an emotion to feel, you know, and uh, as 0:37:29.280 --> 0:37:31.799 difficult as it is, you know, you know, if you 0:37:31.800 --> 0:37:34.400 get to the point where you know you're you know, isolating, 0:37:34.440 --> 0:37:36.880 you know, reach out to one of your closest friends 0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:39.840 that you feel that you can confide in, that you 0:37:39.880 --> 0:37:42.040 can say whatever you need to say to that person 0:37:42.200 --> 0:37:44.920 and and trust that they're not going to repeat anything, 0:37:45.560 --> 0:37:48.360 but that you are able to get something out to someone, 0:37:48.440 --> 0:37:50.120 That you can get something out of your heart to 0:37:50.160 --> 0:37:52.920 share with someone, and so, uh that's part of the 0:37:52.920 --> 0:37:56.160 healing process. And so uh, you definitely need to take 0:37:56.200 --> 0:37:59.799 time for yourself. For me, I'm a pretty spiritual guy, 0:37:59.880 --> 0:38:02.400 and so you know, I relied on a lot of 0:38:02.960 --> 0:38:06.040 a prayer and meditation and then when I when I 0:38:06.080 --> 0:38:07.680 do get isolated, I try to get out of the 0:38:07.719 --> 0:38:09.680 house or I go to the gym. It's tough to 0:38:09.719 --> 0:38:11.520 even it's tough to even want to go into the 0:38:11.560 --> 0:38:13.200 gym to work out when you're feeling like that. 0:38:13.800 --> 0:38:18.320 Yeah, yeah, well because you feel like everybody's yeah, happier 0:38:18.360 --> 0:38:20.640 than you and looking at you sideways, it's like, what's 0:38:20.640 --> 0:38:21.399 wrong with that dude? 0:38:21.440 --> 0:38:23.480 You know or whatever? I get it. Yeah, I've been there. 0:38:23.719 --> 0:38:25.920 But once you once you start taking those steps on 0:38:25.960 --> 0:38:28.560 the cardio machine or you start lifting those weights that 0:38:28.640 --> 0:38:32.120 resistant exercise, you get those kind of like endorphins going 0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:35.600 inside of you and you start feeling a little physical 0:38:35.600 --> 0:38:38.400 strength back. You know, because you've probably been laying around, 0:38:38.400 --> 0:38:41.280 you probably haven't been eating eating, and so you're probably 0:38:41.320 --> 0:38:44.680 physically weak. And so when you start putting nutrition back 0:38:44.719 --> 0:38:47.040 in your body and you start working out and getting 0:38:47.040 --> 0:38:48.960 out in a little bit, your strengthen your body and 0:38:49.000 --> 0:38:52.640 your mind and your soul. And then just and just 0:38:52.680 --> 0:38:54.680 take your time, you know, don't try to rush back 0:38:54.719 --> 0:38:56.760 into things. You know. It's like, you know, you can't 0:38:57.200 --> 0:39:01.399 rush being happy. You know, uh R want the gratification 0:39:01.480 --> 0:39:05.759 of instant happiness, but the happiness is a result is 0:39:05.800 --> 0:39:08.760 a byproduct of doing estimable things. 0:39:08.880 --> 0:39:09.080 You know. 0:39:10.000 --> 0:39:12.200 I know that when I felt low and broken hearted 0:39:12.239 --> 0:39:15.480 and and you know, I felt like my self esteem 0:39:15.600 --> 0:39:18.040 was just really really low. And a good friend of 0:39:18.080 --> 0:39:19.680 mine told me is that, you know what, when you're 0:39:19.680 --> 0:39:23.319 going through stuff like that, do esteamable things, whether It's 0:39:23.360 --> 0:39:26.920 as simple as you know, what if you've if you've 0:39:26.960 --> 0:39:29.280 just been letting your dishes pile up in the sink 0:39:29.640 --> 0:39:32.000 because you don't have the energy or spirit to wash 0:39:32.040 --> 0:39:36.040 your dishes. Go wash your dishes. Yeah, go clean the sink, 0:39:36.120 --> 0:39:38.800 Go wash your car. Go. I love to vacuum. 0:39:38.920 --> 0:39:41.600 Vacuuming is way, That's what I do every day. It's 0:39:41.600 --> 0:39:42.080 my favorite. 0:39:42.080 --> 0:39:42.239 Man. 0:39:42.800 --> 0:39:43.800 I love the vacuum. 0:39:43.920 --> 0:39:47.000 Yeah, it's knew I liked you. I'm a big vacuum guy. 0:39:47.560 --> 0:39:49.239 You know what I think, you know, like what you 0:39:49.280 --> 0:39:51.520 said earlier, I think you know you and I are 0:39:51.760 --> 0:39:54.080 I think like a kindred spirits. It's like almost like 0:39:54.120 --> 0:39:57.600 you know, we're like spitting image of image of mirrors 0:39:57.640 --> 0:39:58.400 of each other. You know. 0:39:58.719 --> 0:40:01.080 Oh my god, if I'm a buddy, I've never been 0:40:01.120 --> 0:40:04.240 better looking, then thank you for that. You're a handsome man, brother. 0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:08.920 I'll take it. No, I'm just I'm making life, But no, 0:40:09.000 --> 0:40:10.920 thank you. I I definitely think that. I mean a 0:40:10.920 --> 0:40:13.239 lot of the things you've said today and in your 0:40:13.239 --> 0:40:15.640 past interviews too, when I've seen him pop up, I mean, 0:40:15.840 --> 0:40:18.719 they resonate. You know, I've I think we've all been there. 0:40:18.760 --> 0:40:20.719 People hate to admit it. That they've been there. But 0:40:20.840 --> 0:40:24.640 you know, I was fortunate enough to find some great 0:40:24.640 --> 0:40:27.160 people to talk to, you know, I mean I went 0:40:27.200 --> 0:40:30.719 to therapy. You know, I wasn't afraid to lean on that. 0:40:30.800 --> 0:40:32.479 And it wasn't a bad word for me. In fact, 0:40:32.480 --> 0:40:34.560 it helped me quite a bit to you know. I 0:40:35.000 --> 0:40:37.880 used to jokingly say, my mom and I just took 0:40:37.920 --> 0:40:39.480 a little trip with my mom this past weekend. I 0:40:39.480 --> 0:40:40.960 told her, I said, you know what they say, mom, 0:40:41.520 --> 0:40:44.719 if it isn't one thing, it's your mother. And she 0:40:44.800 --> 0:40:47.080 just starts laughing, you know, like just getting just kid. 0:40:47.280 --> 0:40:49.399 But it was funny because you know, I had such 0:40:49.400 --> 0:40:51.319 a great childhood growing up, and I had you know, 0:40:51.600 --> 0:40:53.480 so part of me was like, you know, well, gosh, 0:40:53.360 --> 0:40:56.360 why am I not able to find a successful relationship? 0:40:56.400 --> 0:40:56.560 You know. 0:40:56.640 --> 0:40:59.080 And I think a lot of it was based on 0:40:59.160 --> 0:41:03.000 my expectation and needing to find the right person who 0:41:03.040 --> 0:41:04.799 was willing to let me be me but was also 0:41:04.880 --> 0:41:06.480 willing to call me out, call me out when I 0:41:06.520 --> 0:41:09.239 needed it, and uh and you know, and and I 0:41:09.280 --> 0:41:11.600 think I've found that. And it's like, you know, and 0:41:11.640 --> 0:41:14.160 it's one of those things that sometimes it takes some 0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:16.399 of us longer than others, right. So I mean from 0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:18.240 that perspective, as long as you're never going to stop 0:41:18.640 --> 0:41:21.440 looking for whatever will complete you in whatever way you 0:41:21.480 --> 0:41:23.680 need to be completed, I think that's that's part of 0:41:23.719 --> 0:41:25.480 the process too. And I love to hear that you're 0:41:25.560 --> 0:41:27.760 you're doing that, and I love that you found someone 0:41:27.800 --> 0:41:31.160 that you know is filling your cup. You know, so 0:41:31.400 --> 0:41:33.440 good for you, my friend. Nothing, nothing can make me 0:41:33.440 --> 0:41:34.640 happier than to see you happy. 0:41:35.080 --> 0:41:37.879 And Bob, check this out. There's there's something new that 0:41:37.880 --> 0:41:42.160 that I was introduced to that I that I never 0:41:42.239 --> 0:41:46.160 knew in any of my previous relationships. The five stages 0:41:46.200 --> 0:41:48.080 of love. Are you familiar with those? 0:41:48.840 --> 0:41:50.640 No? I know the five stages of grief. I don't 0:41:50.680 --> 0:41:51.719 know the five stages of love. 0:41:51.760 --> 0:41:54.480 This is good, Okay, So the five stages of love, 0:41:54.520 --> 0:41:57.320 if I can remember them correctly. Okay, So the first stages, 0:41:57.480 --> 0:41:59.800 you know, the obvious one. It's like you meet someone's 0:42:00.120 --> 0:42:03.240 tacular and you're like heads over heels over each other 0:42:03.360 --> 0:42:05.640 and everything is lovey dovey and all this other stuff, 0:42:05.680 --> 0:42:07.759 holding hands, kissing and whatever the case may be. 0:42:08.400 --> 0:42:08.640 Uh. 0:42:08.640 --> 0:42:11.759 Step two is the uh Step two is the is 0:42:11.800 --> 0:42:15.520 the critical stage that I found out that uh, that 0:42:15.600 --> 0:42:17.520 a lot of people get stuck in and can't get 0:42:17.560 --> 0:42:19.120 out of. And then that's where a lot of great 0:42:19.160 --> 0:42:22.920 relationships probably end. It's the uh, it's the stage where 0:42:23.840 --> 0:42:25.560 you know, you're starting to really get to know that 0:42:25.600 --> 0:42:28.680 person and some of those important questions that need to 0:42:28.719 --> 0:42:31.680 be asked. Once they're asked, either you put up your 0:42:31.680 --> 0:42:34.160 walls of defensiveness and you walk away, or you get 0:42:34.520 --> 0:42:36.719 get into little arguments or whatever and you can't get 0:42:36.760 --> 0:42:39.880 past stage two. Yeah, so that's where a lot of 0:42:39.920 --> 0:42:43.120 people get stuck and uh. And then the third stage 0:42:43.160 --> 0:42:45.080 is the third stage is that you know, uh, you know, 0:42:45.239 --> 0:42:47.160 you pretty much got to handle You got out of 0:42:47.160 --> 0:42:50.040 stage two, everything is great. Then stage four is like, 0:42:50.080 --> 0:42:52.319 you know what, you can really imagine your life with 0:42:52.400 --> 0:42:55.000 this person. You start doing things where you're actually building 0:42:55.040 --> 0:42:57.600 your life with that person. You you understand who that 0:42:57.640 --> 0:43:01.040 person is. And then stage five is that that's that's 0:43:01.440 --> 0:43:04.399 that's the honeymoon stage basically right there is that you 0:43:04.480 --> 0:43:07.359 are you are going to spend the rest of your 0:43:07.360 --> 0:43:10.040 life with that person. Stage five. One of the things 0:43:10.080 --> 0:43:12.799 that I one of the things that I remember when 0:43:12.800 --> 0:43:16.279 I was after going through the divorce, I mean, I 0:43:16.320 --> 0:43:20.360 was like sitting in the car by myself, just broken hearted. 0:43:20.719 --> 0:43:24.919 And I was in in downtown Omaha and I saw 0:43:25.000 --> 0:43:29.160 walking down the street this couple. I think they must 0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:31.160 must have been in their nineties. I mean, but they 0:43:31.200 --> 0:43:33.759 were in great shape walking down the street. But they 0:43:33.760 --> 0:43:38.040 were walking hand in hand, and I was thinking, as 0:43:38.080 --> 0:43:41.040 old as they are, they're still walking hand in hand. 0:43:41.680 --> 0:43:44.520 So there obviously have been in stage five for a 0:43:44.560 --> 0:43:47.640 long time. They got past stage two. So I would 0:43:47.680 --> 0:43:50.719 say to anyone that's maybe going through something right now, 0:43:51.320 --> 0:43:53.160 think of it. Look at it as stage too. This 0:43:53.200 --> 0:43:55.360 is this is a difficult stage that if you really 0:43:55.360 --> 0:43:57.439 care about that person, you really think that you want 0:43:57.440 --> 0:44:00.880 to spend more time and maybe you're time with that person, 0:44:00.880 --> 0:44:04.480 you got to get out of stage two. Answer difficult questions, humble, 0:44:04.680 --> 0:44:08.920 humble yourself, and expose yourself and be really really vulnerable. 0:44:09.680 --> 0:44:12.760 No, I love that man. You speaking of being vulnerable, 0:44:12.760 --> 0:44:13.880 I mean, thank you for sharing. 0:44:14.000 --> 0:44:15.960 I mean, you know, this is stuff that I know 0:44:16.080 --> 0:44:17.920 isn't easy to talk about all the time, and so 0:44:18.040 --> 0:44:19.799 I really appreciate you being on the pod with us. 0:44:19.840 --> 0:44:22.160 I really appreciate you sharing that and sharing your feelings 0:44:22.200 --> 0:44:24.840 and your experiences. You know, a lot of people relate 0:44:24.880 --> 0:44:28.200 to you, man, and and I think whether whether it's. 0:44:29.640 --> 0:44:31.800 You know, because you're you're a sweet and kind person, 0:44:32.360 --> 0:44:34.080 or whether you put it out there or whatever it 0:44:34.160 --> 0:44:34.440 might be. 0:44:35.080 --> 0:44:36.520 You know, there's a lot of people that aren't deserving 0:44:36.520 --> 0:44:38.000 of the attention they get, and I always thought that 0:44:38.080 --> 0:44:40.920 you were, and I think that you are and U 0:44:41.080 --> 0:44:43.879 and I appreciate you. So I'm glad that you were 0:44:43.920 --> 0:44:45.440 willing to come on the show and talk about this 0:44:45.560 --> 0:44:47.840 and be vulnerable and be open about it and share 0:44:48.360 --> 0:44:49.319 where you're at with things. 0:44:49.520 --> 0:44:49.839 I think. 0:44:50.280 --> 0:44:52.600 I think I'm not the only one who's sitting here 0:44:52.640 --> 0:44:55.040 really happy for how things are shaping up for your 0:44:55.040 --> 0:44:57.160 twenty twenty five as you roll into twenty twenty six, 0:44:57.239 --> 0:44:59.280 given that it started like a disaster. 0:44:59.480 --> 0:45:01.960 So I'm really happy to hear about the rebound. 0:45:03.960 --> 0:45:06.080 Well, man, it's good to be back on the show 0:45:06.080 --> 0:45:07.920 with you. It's good to see your face and your smile. 0:45:07.960 --> 0:45:09.920 And you're dimp on man, you know what, you know, 0:45:10.280 --> 0:45:11.600 you got one hell of a dimple too. 0:45:11.640 --> 0:45:13.560 My brother, Oh, I know, we got Boddy. 0:45:13.560 --> 0:45:15.680 I'm telling you, man, if we got to figure out 0:45:15.719 --> 0:45:17.640 the top part of this, but otherwise we're twins. 0:45:17.880 --> 0:45:18.360 Just shave it. 0:45:18.480 --> 0:45:20.040 Just shave it off. You'll enjoy it. 0:45:21.280 --> 0:45:23.880 Oh no, I kind of. I'm pretty fortunate right now. 0:45:23.960 --> 0:45:25.640 I was thinking about the other day when my buddies like, 0:45:25.719 --> 0:45:27.279 I know you color your hair. I said, I swear 0:45:27.320 --> 0:45:29.239 to you, I've never colored my hair. He's like, you're 0:45:29.280 --> 0:45:31.120 fifty four, you have no grades. I'm like, oh, buddy, 0:45:31.280 --> 0:45:33.080 I've got grays. I just got really thick hair. You 0:45:33.080 --> 0:45:34.919 s aren't seeing them yet. Trust you get close enough. 0:45:35.360 --> 0:45:37.680 But thank you, buddy. I love you being on the show. 0:45:37.800 --> 0:45:40.200 I'm happy for your happiness. I hope we can connect 0:45:40.200 --> 0:45:40.799 sometime soon. 0:45:40.920 --> 0:45:42.440 Well, Bob, you know what, it's good to see. It's 0:45:42.480 --> 0:45:44.360 good to see you. I love I love seeing the 0:45:44.400 --> 0:45:48.040 images of you with your family and your kids. It's like, 0:45:48.080 --> 0:45:49.799 you know what, it's like, you know when I when 0:45:49.800 --> 0:45:52.520 I see that, you know, when I see you, it's like, 0:45:52.600 --> 0:45:54.680 you know, I see it's like, you know what. I 0:45:54.719 --> 0:45:57.000 love that. I love seeing your happiness with your family. 0:45:57.040 --> 0:45:58.480 And so just keep it up, my brother. 0:45:58.960 --> 0:45:59.520 Thank you, brother. 0:45:59.520 --> 0:46:01.920 The same to you, Jonathan, Jonathan rowd everybody, thank you 0:46:01.920 --> 0:46:04.799 so much for joining us, buddy, and for everybody else 0:46:04.800 --> 0:46:05.200 out there. 0:46:05.360 --> 0:46:07.560 I mean, let us know, you know, if you're ready to. 0:46:07.600 --> 0:46:11.560 Date again, you need some help Davigt navigating your dating landscape. 0:46:11.880 --> 0:46:14.440 Call us or email us the show. The email infos 0:46:14.440 --> 0:46:16.000 of the show notes, so make sure you check it out. 0:46:16.000 --> 0:46:18.160 Follow us on the socials. Make sure to ready to 0:46:18.160 --> 0:46:20.759 review the podcast. It's I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio 0:46:20.840 --> 0:46:23.440 podcast where falling in love is the main objective.