Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is about how to think of progress when
Speaker 1: we're talking about relationships rather than basic tasks. Progress is motivational. Sadly,
Speaker 1: the converse of that is also true. When progress is
Speaker 1: less obvious, it can be hard to feel motivated. Fortunately,
Speaker 1: there are some ways to recreate a sense of progress
Speaker 1: no matter what kind of work we're talking about. Today's
Speaker 1: tip comes out of a question I got from a
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast listener who had recently left her job partly
Speaker 1: to spend more time caring for her daughter, who is
Speaker 1: on the autism spectrum. The listener noted that her daughter
Speaker 1: was needing to interact with people more and this was
Speaker 1: definitely challenging. She wrote, she needs more support to cope
Speaker 1: with how exhausting elementary school is. The listener was also
Speaker 1: studying to pursue a new career as a chaplain. All
Speaker 1: of these are worthy endeavors, but as she noted, I'm
Speaker 1: so used to measuring and valuing my time by tasks finished.
Speaker 1: Parenting and researching are both activities that are not task oriented.
Speaker 1: I find myself struggling to measure my progress and feeling
Speaker 1: unaccomplished after lots of time well spent. Do you have
Speaker 1: any tips for how to measure time and progress in
Speaker 1: these non task oriented settings. It's a good question. The
Speaker 1: nature of parenting, or for that matter, being a chaplain,
Speaker 1: is to spend a lot of time with people simply
Speaker 1: being available to them. The quantity of time is a
Speaker 1: key part of the job, and while we can tract
Speaker 1: time and I recommend tracking time, the outcome of being
Speaker 1: available is not always clear. One of the things that
Speaker 1: people who decide to be full time parents most struggle
Speaker 1: with is this transition from turning in a report at
Speaker 1: the end of the day to getting to the end
Speaker 1: of the day and wondering what actually got done. This
Speaker 1: can make it hard to stay motivated, but I think
Speaker 1: we can create concrete tasks within these swaths of time
Speaker 1: that allow us to feel a sense of progress and motivation. Yep,
Speaker 1: it's quality time within the quantity time. I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about this a lot lately, as all five of my
Speaker 1: children have been home with me for the past two months.
Speaker 1: I know that theoretically this extra time together can allow
Speaker 1: us to deepen our relationships but so much of the
Speaker 1: time is just managing chaos, keeping the five year old
Speaker 1: from breaking things in between feeding the baby and keeping
Speaker 1: the other children from hurting each other. So to keep
Speaker 1: my sanity, I've come up with distinct projects each of
Speaker 1: us can do together. I'm sure that simply spending time
Speaker 1: together is more important in the long run, but keeping
Speaker 1: mom motivated is important too, So we've ordered a bunch
Speaker 1: of legos. I recently finished a whole rocket launch set
Speaker 1: with the ten year old, plus a farm set with
Speaker 1: a five year old. My twelve year old has become
Speaker 1: my writing accountability partner. He's writing a novel and we
Speaker 1: check in with each other on how many words we've
Speaker 1: done in our creative projects. My eight year old daughter
Speaker 1: and I are undertaking a grown up dollhouse project, not
Speaker 1: for playing, in for building and enjoying the miniature scenes.
Speaker 1: Even the baby can have some projects. We've been reading
Speaker 1: through all the old issues of Baby Bug magazine that
Speaker 1: I've kept from previous children. I know that it doesn't
Speaker 1: particularly matter that I'm reading a child focused magazine versus
Speaker 1: the dictionary with a baby, but it makes mom feel
Speaker 1: better that, yes, I read through two issues today and
Speaker 1: I will do two issues tomorrow and so forth. If you,
Speaker 1: likewise are looking for ways to stay motivated in relationship work,
Speaker 1: you might try setting some particular tasks that you can
Speaker 1: do and then celebrate completion. A chaplain, for instance, might
Speaker 1: set goals for numbers and types of visits and follow ups,
Speaker 1: and particular passages to read or spiritual exercises to do
Speaker 1: when it feels appropriate. Sure, the main point is being
Speaker 1: there and listening and offering comfort, but we can create
Speaker 1: tasks for ourselves within that. Our listener who wants to
Speaker 1: support her daughter with social interaction might set goals for
Speaker 1: how to handle welcoming her home from school or sending
Speaker 1: her off to school, or planning activities on the weekends
Speaker 1: that might gently introduce certain social interactions. She can note
Speaker 1: her progress and celebrate what she's done. Quantity and quality
Speaker 1: time are often presented as being in opposition, but really
Speaker 1: relationships are made up of both. A lot of the
Speaker 1: real work is done in the quantity, but the quality
Speaker 1: part keeps us motivated, and that's a good in its
Speaker 1: own right. In the meantime, this is Laura, thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. M hm. Hey, everybody.
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod
Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: At i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is
Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, S,
Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.