WEBVTT - Mi Pandemic Health Experience 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:06.440 I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:08.880 and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:13.880 I'm a body positive advocate. I'm Carolina Bermudez, but i 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:17.599 was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama, 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:22.000 and a worker being. This is life in English Windows 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:26.560 d s. Carolina Windows, Honey German. It is so good 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.440 to see you today. Now I do look a little 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:31.040 bit different, and I know we're going to get into 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:32.760 that in a minute. But how are you feeling on 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:37.440 this fine day. I'm feeling amazing, are you? Yeah, I'm 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:39.919 feeling good. I've been feeling really really good lately. You know, 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:42.720 it's crazy because it's like the healthier I get, the 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:45.000 better I feel. And I never thought that would be 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:47.199 possible because I always felt like I look good, I 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:49.720 feel good. But now it's like a different feel good 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:52.800 and look good. But you've made the lifestyle changes though, 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:55.360 that's the reason why I feel. Yeah, No, for sure, 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:57.840 it's a daily thing now. It's not you know, thirty 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.560 pounds and thirty days anymore. Before me, you know, it 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:02.440 was always like crash that you know, I've struggled with 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:09.440 my weight, my whole life. My mom was like, you know, 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:11.840 I've always I've always been a big girl. Just now 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:13.920 I feel like I caught the right rhythm and the 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:17.440 right wave during the pandemic. How is everything with you? 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:20.760 Because I know like you do yoga. I used to. 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:25.080 I used to, but you know, well after I noticed 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:26.800 a big shift for you, I want to focus on 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:30.400 you really quickly because I did notice that after you know, 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:33.640 your situation happened with your stroke and everything where you 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.200 giving guidance from your doctors. Because I started noticing you 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.039 posting your breakfast that NOONI was making you you would 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:43.640 get like almonds and young burn and fresh fruit. Yeah. 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:46.360 It was like a combination of the doctors and me 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:49.560 realizing that I can heal myself through foods. I was 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.000 always like online, like, you know, the stroke is a 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:54.960 brain injury. So I then I started foods that helped 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:58.560 with the brain nutrition and brain function. And then I 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.040 just started to just do that only because I was like, Okay, 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.360 I gotta heal myself. I gotta heal my brain. So 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:04.640 then it was just like, Okay, you gotta eat a 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:06.920 lot of salmon, you gotta eat berries. So I kind 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:09.720 of like adopted a diet that would help me heal 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:12.680 myself from the stroke, and decided that, you know, I 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.080 wasn't going to poison myself in any which way because 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:17.560 how I look, you know, having a stroke which did 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:19.639 not happen for health reasons. You know, I want to 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:21.840 put that out there. I did not have high blood pressure, 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:24.600 I did not have diabetes. I was not an unhealthy person. 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.560 You know, it was just a freak accident. The only 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.640 thing they were able to link it to was birth control. 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:33.040 They couldn't find anything else. I didn't have hard problems, nothing. 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:35.080 When I was being transported because you know, I went 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:37.360 to a rehab. When I was being transported from the 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:39.560 hospital to the rehab, can you believe the E M. S. 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.200 Worker said, Okay, now time to take care of your health. 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.840 I'm like, you fucking asshole. You don't even know why 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:46.640 I had a stroke, and you over here telling me 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.560 I was being unhealthy. Right, just take me where you 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.160 need to take me. He diagnosed you on the ride. 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:56.640 You know what I mean, you know what happened. I 0:02:56.639 --> 0:03:00.919 guess he assumed, like, okay, stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes, 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:03.200 poor diet. I guess you just made all these types 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:04.760 of assumptions. I'm like, first of all, I was a 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:07.800 healthy person and I still am. I decided I wasn't 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:11.120 going to poison my body or my brain, and I 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:13.120 was just going to try to heal myself because food 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:17.200 heals absolutely naturally too. You know, I've always been very 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:21.280 health conscious and like, I just think that over over time, 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:23.800 you know, I fell into the run. Yes, I was 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:26.680 having wine every night, and yes, then I was having 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:28.760 like you know, I was, I was indulging in letting 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:30.680 myself go a little bit. But I always do a 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:33.639 good job of bringing myself back. You know that. It's 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:35.840 not like you were at McDonald's getting the number two 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.720 with supersized fries. You ways have a glass of wine. 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:42.839 But you know what, you're a female, you're a mom, 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:45.320 you're a working woman. A glass of wine every now 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:48.560 and then. You know you didn't say a bottle of wine. No, No, 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:50.680 I mean some knights of bottle. Yes, when I was 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:52.760 crying and I would be like, you know, my tears 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:56.600 would make it salty. You know what I'm talking about? It? Oh, 0:03:56.680 --> 0:03:59.400 please forget it. Like you know, I'm like crying, What 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.760 am I going to do? How about it's going to do? This, 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:03.480 but like, no, you know, the one thing that I 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:08.000 did do was I evaluated, Okay, I'm forty three years old. 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:11.640 I had my breast implants put in in two thousand 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:15.440 and three, and I went for a mammogram. Um what 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.640 I go every year, but at this point, I went 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:20.080 for a mammogram and the person who was doing my 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:22.159 mammograham told me she was like, you know, it looks 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:26.000 like your implants have somewear and tear. You may want 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:28.360 to look into getting them replaced. And she's like, how 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:29.919 long have you had them? And I said, you know, 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.600 I've had them for seventeen years. This woman almost fell 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:35.359 on the floor. She said, what I said, fell on 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:37.040 the floor right now, because I know it's like a 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:39.800 certain amount of time and it's not seventeen years. Women, Well, no, 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:42.520 you know what they actually do say either ten years 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:45.200 you should go for like a tune up, or when 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.520 there's wear in tear, you know. So I just said, 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:49.520 you know, I had not said, what the hell has 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.120 Mark been doing with these that you got? Well there 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:57.800 it's you know what it is, having kids, coming out 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:02.120 of having kids, breastfeeding all of that, John, And so 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.040 we knew that, like, yeah, no, but that's okay. No, 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:07.159 he did tear it up a little bit. But but 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:09.279 now I we knew that we weren't going to be 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.880 having any more children. And then after that, Mammogram, I said, 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:13.680 you know, I really have to focus on me, like 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.440 I have to focus on making time for this. But again, 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:17.880 and I hate, you know, I don't want you guys 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.200 thinking that, like all we're talking about is the pandemic, 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.560 but like this is the reality of our last year 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:24.520 and a half. You know, I feel like we're still 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:27.680 in a damn pandemic. Watching Good Day New York and 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:31.200 the school in Harlem went remote mad kids with COVID, Like, oh, 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:34.240 that was weeks ago. Yeah, no, I know, Yeah, it's 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:36.320 just crazy, you know, and like every day we're going 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:38.880 to be hearing stories, you know, and people are just 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:41.520 trying to get back on track. So during the pandemic 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:45.680 that you used to yeah, this was right at the beginning. 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.440 And I said, I'm not missing my mammogram. I said, 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:49.960 you know what, no matter what, I know, there was 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.800 like storms and everything. I remember we had no power 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:54.839 and I was like I couldn't even call to see 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:56.640 if my appointment was still on. I was like forget 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.680 that I'm just showing up. After that, I had to 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:00.400 talk with the lady and then I thought to myself, 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.400 you know what I really do, I should focus on 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.760 myself and get these out if they're really, like, you know, 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:07.040 in bad shape. So I went to my doctor. By 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:08.920 the way, he's not paying for this. I paid full 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:12.000 price for my dets uh doctor to tell over in 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.479 New Jersey, and I had him evaluate me and he 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:16.200 just said, look, he goes, I want you to do 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:17.800 me a favor. He's like, I know that this is 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:20.400 gonna make you uncomfortable, but I want you to at 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.479 least see three other surgeons. He's like, see three other 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:29.200 people get their opinions. And because he basically said, he 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:32.640 doesn't want anybody coming to him, you know, uninformed, you know, 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:34.680 so he wanted to make sure that I felt the 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:39.360 most comfortable with him, that you know something that no, no, 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.080 not at all, and so um so I ended up 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:44.080 going to a bunch of different doctors and I decided 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.000 to go with him. I said, you know, this is 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.640 time like I feel comfortable with you. You always make 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:50.920 me feel at ease. And you know, I ended up 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:55.159 getting my breast implants replaced and I got a little lift, 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:57.280 you know, because mom was forty three and I needed 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:59.560 to get these girls perked up. You know, you got 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:03.200 the third teen, No girl, I got the like I 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.680 got the twenty eight year old ones that you know, 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.640 they they they're not really like up to my chin, 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:11.760 but they're kind of like they're realistic. My headlights are straight, 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:15.040 they're pointing in the right direction. You know, um where 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.920 you scared changing them? Like what if he picked the 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.120 among the side where you shook, because I would be shook, 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:23.280 you know what. I First of all, I had to 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.320 go during and I was more scared, honestly to go 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:28.520 to the hospital during the pandemic, because I said to 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:30.920 my husband, I go, I'm literally going in and like, 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:33.040 I got it, You're in and out. You I went 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:36.000 to recovery. They let me come home, and at that 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.680 point in time, going to any place and visiting it 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:41.960 was giving me anxiety. You know what, I imagine, Oh 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:45.320 my god, I died fixing my implants as that was 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.040 gonna go on my damn tombstone, right, So I know, 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:49.840 and that's what I said. But it was also like 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:52.720 it was a necessity, like after seventeen years, they were 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.720 just like, and then I began thinking to myself. You know, 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.760 throughout this time, everybody kept saying, oh, well, when the 0:07:57.760 --> 0:07:59.800 pandemic is over, Oh, when the pandemic is over, And 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:01.880 so I kept saying to myself, what if I have 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:03.920 to go back to work and I never got this 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.520 done and I had the opportunity to recuperate at home, 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:08.440 you know, so I was in a hurry to just 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:10.680 get it done because we work in the city. I 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:12.680 was like, I'm not trying to go and wear a 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:15.200 seatbelt on my new girls and you know what I mean, 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:18.560 like it's even driving or carrying a handback do none 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.560 of that, right, Yeah, totally. So um, you know I 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.840 did it. Am I glad. I did it one million percent. 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.680 I'm so glad, Like I feel more comfortable now. But like, 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:30.400 there were girls who were going in and getting full 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:33.520 body makeovers during the pandemic because they didn't have to 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:35.960 be out and about. They had full time to recover. Yes, 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:39.199 so a report that said plastic surgery was way up 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:41.559 during the pandemic because it's like, you know, whoever had 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:43.720 that money was like, fuck it, nobody's gonna see me. 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:45.360 I'm gonna be laid up at home, let's just do 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:48.480 it now, and not just women men, Even men were 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:51.200 going in and getting like facelifts or getting like their 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:53.800 calves done. I saw something. I was like, who even 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:55.840 thinks to get their calves done? But then again, like, 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:59.600 let's not seen some bad legs on these men. Chicken 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:02.680 little I know somebody who definitely would benefit from some 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.760 caffeine plans. Yes, no, So it's like, you know what. 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:07.880 I took that time and I said to myself, like, 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:10.720 this is where I'm going to like really focus on me. 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:12.839 I only had to miss one day on the air, 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:16.040 which is that's amazing, Carolina. I had it done on 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:18.520 a Thursday, so I missed on Friday. I was back 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:22.080 downstairs in my seat doing the show on Monday. Let 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:24.240 me ask you a question, who did you want to kill? 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:26.880 Who jumped on you or who hit your boobs a 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:31.720 by mistake? And you were like, jump on you the 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:34.920 freaking dog, dude. And by the way, her name is Rain. 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:39.360 She did not act like she is a monster, you know, 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:42.480 but beautiful. That's my dream dog, she really is. But 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:44.280 you know, I will say this like she has kept 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:47.240 me active throughout this pandemic. I'm not even kidding because 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.600 every day she's a big dog. She's a German Shepherd. 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:51.520 If you guys haven't seen her, go to my Instagram 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:54.640 at the real Carolina. She's beautiful. She's a beautiful dog. 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:58.000 But she is feisty, you know what I mean, Like 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:01.520 she needs a lot of attention. It's a puppy, right, Yeah, 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:04.120 she's a puppy. So, like, you know, I said to 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.000 my husband, I was like, I can't do anything. I 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:07.920 need you to get like, you know, come home, walk 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:10.720 the dog, like during your lunch hour. Sure enough, he 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:12.720 can't make it one time because the fine of his 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.640 was late, and who has to take the dog out? Me? 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:18.199 And what did she do? Like I swear she pulled 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.120 the leash so hard. And this is when she was 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.480 a puppy. So it's like you've got to make sure 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:24.160 that when you do things like this that you like 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.120 think about yourself and say, no, I am not going 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:28.959 to be the person that you can count on at 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:31.320 this time. I need to figure out my stuff. I 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:34.200 need to count on me alone, you know what I mean. 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:36.520 And like that was a really difficult thing for me 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:38.880 to do because I'm so used to taking care of everybody. No, 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:41.040 I can't imagine, I know what the boobs. It's like 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:44.360 I had a breast reduction probably like six seven years ago, 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.120 and Jesus, I couldn't do anything for a long time. Yeah, 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:50.640 I was like, uh anything. I remember I was taking 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.320 a train and I was like, if somebody bumps into me, 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:55.880 today is gonna be a today that I fight somebody 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:59.440 on this somewhere. Today's when you choose violence. Uh, And 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:01.760 we don't want ever choose violence, but I want I 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:13.840 want that button more violence. But honey, you look so 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:16.400 good and like it's about what your routine has been 0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:19.960 because I can see that you've incorporated more fitness, take 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:25.160 care of your you know what you eat, what you're consuming. Yeah, No, definitely. 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:29.280 I consume only mostly foods that can nourish the body. 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:31.600 It's a weird thing, but I think of it when 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.800 I'm eating it, like is this poisoning me? Or is 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:36.880 this like spreading all over me? Like a strawberry it's 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.760 being good, a blueberry it's it's being good. Or a 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:42.920 French fry? Is it poisoning me? Is it hindering my recovery? 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.400 It was physical and it was it was mental. So 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.080 it's like I had to think about both. You know, 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.800 it's like when you have a stroke, the brain forgets 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.199 you have an arm and you have a leg. The 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.920 brain forgets about the side of your body that is affected, 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:57.240 which for me was my left So it's like I 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:00.240 needed my brain to be an optimal health, not just 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.280 you know, regular health. Like if I tell you the 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:05.559 amount of things I've done to try to recover fully, 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:07.800 I even did oxygen therapy, like where they put you 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:12.160 in a pressurized tank. I did months of that. So 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.760 it's like I couldn't be doing all that and then 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:19.160 eating fast food impossible, Like why am I spending thousands 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.520 and thousands of dollars on these you know, holistic approaches 0:12:22.760 --> 0:12:24.960 and then I'm going to be eating trash food? Hell now. 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.520 So it's just like everything I consume, I tried for 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.720 it to be you know, nutritious and you know, just 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:33.160 beneficial towards me as a person that in conjunction with 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:38.240 the physical therapy, which sometimes would be six twelve hours 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:41.000 a week, it depended days, I would do physical therapy 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.520 for two or three hours a day. So wow, So 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:47.880 that's what really propelled me to like lose the exist 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:49.920 weight that I did not need because I was working 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:52.160 all day trying to build muscles. You know, the muscles 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.240 on the left side of my body just shut down 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.480 like when you turn off a car. So I had 0:12:56.520 --> 0:13:00.080 to get them all back in order. So it required it, 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.320 you know, a lot of hours in the gym, a 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.720 lot of hours with personal trainers, physical therapists. So my life, 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.520 you know, for nine months until right now, it's mostly 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.760 you know, recovering, working out, physical therapy, and it's like, yeah, 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.360 I would do the treadmill on two points. Oh, but 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:20.079 when you're so weak, that's tough and it's waste a 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:22.040 lot of calories. That's what happened. You know. It's just 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.800 me trying to get better, me trying to recover lad 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.360 to you know, the best version of me. I'm like, damn, 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.480 I haven't been like I'm like a hundred and forty 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.360 eight pounds. I haven't been this since I was twelve 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:34.880 years old. And I would saying and at one point, 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:36.600 you know, people that know me know I was heavy. 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.200 At one point, I was two hundred and thirty pounds, 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:41.720 and then I went on a health kake. You know, 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.360 I lost weight, Like I've lost the weight throughout the years. 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:46.760 But now during the pandemic and after the stroke, I 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:50.839 dropped thirty pounds. I don't celebrate it because it wasn't like, wow, 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:52.840 look at me, I got snatched, you know. It was 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:56.280 just like I had to work my ass off to 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:59.440 be able to walk again, and in turned, I lost 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.400 this weight. So it's it's a weird thing. It's like 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:04.040 bitter sweet, yeah, you know, because I'm so happy I 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:06.640 lost all this weight, but I'm not happy because of 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:10.600 what happened that how you had the course of events 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:12.800 that made you have to make that change. So it's 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:14.400 like I want to and I want to post cute 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:15.800 pictures and I want to get all these outfits, but 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.680 I'm like, bitch, you lost this damn weight because you 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:21.000 have to learn how to walk again. Relax, calm down. 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:24.080 It's not that serious. But that's okay too, though, But 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.680 that is a celebration of who you are. You shouldn't 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.880 be so critical, you know, Like I mean, you should 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.960 take those moments to really put yourself out there and 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.400 shine because you've earned it, I know. But then I 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:37.160 feel weird, like you didn't lose this weight because you 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.960 went to the gym when you were you know, able 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:42.040 and fit and when you should have gone to the gym. 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.360 This is because you had to fight for your life 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:46.320 that you ended up losing this damn weight. So it 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:47.960 makes me feel a little weird because I'm like, yo, 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:49.360 I could have been like this my whole life if 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:51.840 I wouldn't have been so lazy, or I wouldn't have 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.760 not gave priority to me and my health. So it's weird. 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:56.880 I will I'll put a little snatch the picture every 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.280 every now and then, but I don't really take pictures 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.000 that much now either, Carolina. I still don't feel comfortable. 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.080 That's gonna take time, you know, I think it is. 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:05.960 And I think that maybe people listening right now, I 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:08.600 think to themselves, like, oh, well, Honey had a team 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.280 of people. Honey had physical therapists, and she had this, 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:13.000 and she had that. But you know what it's like, 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:18.400 but ever forget forget that these people. My body was 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:22.120 dead on one side getting on a treadmill. I have 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.280 to use a harness to use a treadmill because I 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:26.840 physically could not hold myself up. So it's like, yeah, 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:28.800 I had a team of people, but you have an 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:31.360 able body. How about that? It was like some iron manship. 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:33.360 They had you in like harnesses and stuff, and they 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.440 had you like yoked up to all of these different 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:39.480 machines and monitoring you like everything everything, But you know 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.240 what it was just the will, the will to want 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.160 to get better and the will to want to be 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:46.680 healthy again and to have my life again. You know 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:48.520 it was None of those people could have put that 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.040 in here or in here, you know, they couldn't put 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:52.640 that in my heart. You know, there's people that have 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.560 strokes and never get back up. They just say, fuck it. 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.600 It is what it is. I'm in a wheel chair now, 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.600 and you know, so it's not it's not the people 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.960 around you. It's your fight. It's the fight you know 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:05.200 that you have to really be better, to get better 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:07.160 and to live a better life. So it's like anything 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.840 that anyone is going through. You know, if you're listening 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:12.280 right now, if you put your mind to it, and 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:14.320 I know it's like, oh, easier said than done, Well 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:16.360 guess what I did it. So you can't tell me 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:18.760 easier said than done. If I did it, you can 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.440 do it too. You know, whatever it is that you're 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.280 going through, you just every day, work a little bit 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.440 and you'll wake up a year later and I'm like, oh, Ship, 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.200 look at this, I got better. I just want to 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.320 point out for the record that you know, Honey is 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.640 talking about learning how to walk again, how to move 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:35.040 her arms. I just talked about getting new titties. Guys, 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:38.040 that's all. I'm here for. What I mean, I'm I'm 0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:41.880 bringing the substance everybody. I want you all to know. No, 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:44.120 I'm just messing around. But it's true. Let me look 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.040 at what you do. You know, you're learning how to 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:48.680 do things again. But like, mentally, this is something that 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:50.600 you just hit on, and I think that that's true 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.200 your mental strength and my own mental strength. I'll tell 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.560 you in different ways, you know what. At first of all, 0:16:57.000 --> 0:17:00.160 we didn't touch too much about the fact that you 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:02.400 bad withed COVID. You know, like you didn't tell me 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:05.359 about your symptoms. That ship was crazy. You go, how 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:08.800 scared you work, Carolyne. I am scared. I'm terrified at 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:11.560 catching COVID. How did you feel when that test came 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:15.320 back positive? Well, first of all, I was furious because 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:21.240 I had been so careful. I lost friendships during COVID 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:23.480 for real, because like you know what it is, I'm 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.359 not a hypocrite and I'm not saying, and I'm just 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:27.359 like always you guys know, we keep it all the 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:30.520 way real with you here. Um. I had some friends 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:32.680 that were like, oh, no, I'm not going out, I'm 0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:34.199 not doing this, But then they would have like a 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:36.840 play date with six of their kids friends over and 0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:39.359 the moms would stay and they'd have wine, and I like, 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:43.240 I just wasn't doing anything to put myself or my 0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:45.960 family in jeopardy. And I said, the biggest risk that 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.320 we took as a family was having Mark go into 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:52.040 work every day because I was truly keeping my little nest. 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:55.280 I never wanted anybody to kind of penetrate that like 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:57.560 safety wall that I had put up for me and 0:17:57.600 --> 0:18:00.199 my children. But then I just remember when I got it, 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:02.639 I was so upset because I was like I was 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.679 heartbroken actually because I felt like I did all the 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.119 right things. I did everything I was supposed to do, 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.320 Like why is this happening to us? And then I 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:12.679 went into super mom mode. I had kids that had 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:16.320 a hundred and three fever, so I said, you had 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:19.040 all of us, We all ended up getting it. And 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:22.040 when I tell you, as a person who was asthmatic 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:25.080