1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hi Lola, Welcome to an Unlikely Affair. I 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 1: like it better when you're in front of me, next 3 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,280 Speaker 1: to me, touching me. Ooh, like in your bed, touching you, 4 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:18,160 Speaker 1: just like where you're not through a screen. But I 5 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: have to say I was like overwhelmed by the amount 6 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,240 Speaker 1: of love that we got from the last episode same. 7 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:29,639 Speaker 1: It was wild how how into it people were and 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: so many people saying this gave me happy tears. I 9 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: cried at the end, which is exactly what we wanted. 10 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,599 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly the purpose of this podcast. I mean, 11 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,880 Speaker 2: not to make people cry, but like no. 12 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 1: But to understand the bond and how high the stakes are. 13 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 1: That that was always my intention behind it and just 14 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: showing how far we've come. And I also I can 15 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: never stop being myself. So for people who listen to 16 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: like the first and second episode, like I believe in 17 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:07,119 Speaker 1: strong foreplay, like don't just put it in right, It's 18 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 1: only going to get juicier. There's only you know, more 19 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: and more memories. And I don't know about you, but 20 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: there are times where I feel like I disassociate and 21 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: then I'll drive past like a certain place and I'll 22 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,319 Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, I remember this one time. 23 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: Like I've kind of put up such a wall, a 24 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: mental shield of like I don't remember a whole lot 25 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: during that time, but then something triggers it, or like 26 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: something you'll say, I'm like, oh my gosh, I do 27 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: remember that. 28 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. I have the same experience, not as much now 29 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 2: living in Montana, but because my house it like the 30 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 2: house on Mulholland I lived two minutes from, so I 31 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 2: would pass that house multiple times a day and like 32 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 2: just ran and sometimes the thoughts wouldn't come. But then 33 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I'd be driving and I would 34 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 2: see the street and I was like, it would literally 35 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 2: take my breath away, because I do have so many 36 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 2: memories in that house. 37 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: Right, the one that I lived into. 38 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that was the nesting house. That was the 39 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 2: house that we both like when we separated, the kids 40 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 2: stayed there, and then we both went in and out 41 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 2: of this apartment in Studio City. 42 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: Can I tell you something about that house? I always 43 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: fucking hated it. 44 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 2: I think we all did. Why did you hate it? 45 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: Well, originally I thought that I just hated the house 46 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: and it needed an overhaul. And then we had an overhaul, 47 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: and then I was like maybe if I changed this, 48 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, it's just the energy of 49 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: the house. The house is great, it's the energy within it. Yeah. 50 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 2: I think I had that experience the first time that 51 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 2: I lived on my own with the girls, I had 52 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 2: that same experience. It really affects you, like energy. I'm 53 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 2: such a impath and sensitive person to energy. Like I 54 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 2: can walk into a room just like I'm either really 55 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,679 Speaker 2: drawn to a person or I'm like, Okay, I got 56 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 2: to go on the other side of the room because 57 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 2: this person is giving like not good vibes. 58 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: Right you and I relate in that in that way. 59 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: Like I can walk into something as simple as like 60 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: a mommy and me class and my mom will be like, 61 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: are you gonna go back to it? And I'm like no, 62 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: and she's like why, And I'm like, didn't like the energy, 63 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,359 Speaker 1: didn't like the Functionuy, I just don't want to, Like, 64 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: I just don't want to be there. You didn't like 65 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: the songs, No, songs were fine, it was just the 66 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: energy from the room. I'm like, we're not going back. 67 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: I didn't dig it. 68 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that's funny. I felt that way when 69 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: I lived in Camrio and my kids did It's really 70 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 2: interesting if you listen to kids and how they they're 71 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 2: just like if you take them into a house, they'll 72 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 2: tell you right away. And I think kids are so 73 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 2: in tune with their nervous systems that they'll tell you 74 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 2: right away whether like and it's true. It's like you 75 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 2: got to Parks. 76 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: Stunning though I had never been like in person, so 77 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: I don't know the energy, but like looking at your 78 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: Instagram and it being like the what's that noise? Oh, Lisa, 79 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: my mom's here, Lisa, Hey, Lisa, I just can't. People 80 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: are like, do you want a third child? I'm like, 81 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: I have one. I have one. She's a grown ass 82 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 1: woman that I have to move. 83 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 2: Come on, be nice to your mom. 84 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: I'm so nice to her, I know. 85 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 2: But you're so lucky. You're so lucky that you have 86 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 2: that person like by your side. Now I get it. 87 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 2: It's a mother daughter relationship. And I have my own 88 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 2: shit with my mom like we all do. But like, 89 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 2: I love my mom, you love your mom. 90 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: So I'm the luckiest girl in the world. We all 91 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 1: know this, whatever, but there are times where I'm like, 92 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: in this whole you know, in the bigger picture of 93 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,720 Speaker 1: my mom moving out and helping me, you know, take 94 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: care of ocean and raise her. When she thought she 95 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 1: was coming out to just remedy a situation in her 96 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 1: mothering me and getting me to, you know, be an 97 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 1: independent person. She then loves independence if she just like 98 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: transferred her own independence onto me and now looks at 99 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: me when a waiter comes over and is like, what 100 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: would you like to eat? And she looks at me 101 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 1: like what do I want to eat? Like, I don't know, bitch, 102 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 1: what do you want to eat? 103 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 2: We need to get Lisa out of the house. We 104 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 2: need to get her out of the house. If she's 105 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 2: open to dating, I think that would be like. 106 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: Just no desire to date anybody? Do you lease? Yeah? 107 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 2: But how but she's never dated before? So how do 108 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,840 Speaker 2: you know that? Like, it's sometimes it's like you have 109 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 2: to we have to put yourself out there, and maybe 110 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 2: she realizes like, oh yeah, I really didn't like it, 111 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 2: But maybe she ends up loving it, and then you never, like, 112 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 2: then you're really going to have a kid to look 113 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 2: out for. 114 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: Oh geez, no, Amber, you're giving me a whole new 115 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 1: set of stressors. 116 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so I you were talking before about having 117 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,239 Speaker 2: these images and I actually had one that I don't 118 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 2: know why I made the biggest Well I do know 119 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 2: why I made the biggest deal about this. Do you 120 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 2: remember when you were in the house and you let 121 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 2: London put press on glue on nails when she was 122 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 2: like ten. You probably don't even remember because it wasn't 123 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 2: like you're probably like you're that was a really stupid 124 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 2: thing to get mad over. I'll never forget when London 125 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 2: came home and she's like, Lala, let me put on 126 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 2: glue on nails, And I was so freakin mad at you. 127 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 2: I was like infuriated, And in that moment, I realized, well, now, 128 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 2: looking back, I was just looking for any reason to 129 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 2: be upset with you. I really was, Well, that makes 130 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 2: total sense, of course, No, it doesn't make total sense, 131 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 2: like I should. That was like such a stupid thing 132 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 2: to get mad about. 133 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 1: There are a lot of things that I look back 134 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: on now that I'm a mom and I go, wow, 135 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: I really put her through a lot, and I should 136 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: have known better. I should have had more respect. But 137 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: I was deep in my alcoholism. I wasn't a mom. 138 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 1: I looked at you as someone who you were the 139 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: mom of those kids, and those were you know, the 140 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: greatest loves of his life. You had given him something 141 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: that I had. I you always felt up here and 142 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I could. I felt intimidated by 143 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: you very much, so you did of course, yeah, you know, 144 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: you you had actual talent. That was intimidating to me. 145 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 1: You know, I was just some girl on reality TV. 146 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: That was a lot of pressure. 147 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 2: But I told you the other day, with what you 148 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 2: do and under now like being like spending a lot 149 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 2: more time with you being a lot of people don't 150 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 2: know this. You have to have talent to be in 151 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 2: reality and I didn't know that in the beginning, right 152 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 2: as an as an actress. I remember when reality started 153 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 2: really popping off, especially when you came on the screen, 154 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 2: and like you know, and then I also hated reality 155 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 2: probably for that reason too. I mean I think I 156 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 2: had watched maybe like Southern Charm or something like really 157 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 2: you know like that, but that takes a lot of 158 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 2: talent too. Like you have this like personality that is 159 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 2: a lot of people wish they had, Like you have 160 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 2: this confidence, this this like spontaneous fiery attitude and also 161 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 2: a lot of love. Right, Like once people really get 162 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 2: to know you and they peel back the onions, Like, 163 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 2: I think that's where you and I are very similar 164 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 2: in a lot of ways. Right, you have this very 165 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 2: tough exterior, but you have heart, and when you had ocean, 166 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 2: you became not just this fierce woman. You became a 167 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 2: mama bear, which is like beautiful and a lot of 168 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 2: people can relate to that. 169 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. There is a shift that happens, 170 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: and I appreciate you saying that reality TV is a talent. 171 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:59,839 Speaker 1: I think as I get older and I'm sober and 172 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: I look at what I do, I have more of 173 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: an appreciation for the art of making reality TV because 174 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: not just anyone can do it. And I appreciate other 175 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: people where I watch their shows and they're making reality 176 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: TV living their lives and I'm like, you fucking crushed. 177 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: Like i just finished Real Housewives of Salt Lake and 178 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is so good. You all crushed it 179 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: and we're all just like authentic and told your truth. 180 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: I look at reality TV very differently now that I 181 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 1: have a fresh perspective on it, if that makes sense, 182 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: because I took a break and then coming back, I'm like, oh, 183 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,359 Speaker 1: I'm a little rusty, Like I actually was pretty. 184 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,719 Speaker 2: Damn good at what I did. Yeah, but that just 185 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 2: shows you it's an art, really is an art. And 186 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: you had to be quick on your feet, and you 187 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 2: had to, like, you know, you have that talent of 188 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 2: being able to spit it back and be quick on 189 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 2: your toes where some people just don't. You're like for me, 190 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 2: I personal, I'm like, oh, damn, I should have said 191 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 2: that like three days after the situation that happened. 192 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, instead, I go, Damn, I shouldn't have said that. 193 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,559 Speaker 1: I should have watched way. 194 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 2: So I'll never forget the first time you popped up 195 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 2: on vander Pump when we were watching Vanner Pump one 196 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 2: night in bed. 197 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,559 Speaker 1: Well, you know, after that, Bravo was blocked on all 198 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:20,479 Speaker 1: of your TVs. 199 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 2: Damn yeah, are you serious? 200 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, like you couldn't watch Oh my gosh, like codes 201 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: on it and stuff to watch that channel. Oh my god, 202 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: that's crazy. Did you know that? 203 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,440 Speaker 2: No, but I didn't even watch Bravo. I wasn't even 204 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 2: watching Bravo at that time. Well, even when I knew 205 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 2: you guys were together, I still wasn't watching this show. Well, 206 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 2: first of all, let's be honest. The show went on 207 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 2: for how many seasons? And I felt, well, it's still 208 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 2: going on. I felt like, oh damn, I have like 209 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 2: five seasons to catch up with. But then it was 210 00:10:54,160 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 2: like the pain of I don't even know what hapen 211 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 2: on vander Pump Rolls. All I know is people are like, 212 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 2: you should watch it. I was like, apps fusolutely not. 213 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 2: I'm not watching vander pump Roles because I'm literally living 214 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 2: in it right like I'm living the reality of the 215 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,719 Speaker 2: show very much so. But I will never forget when 216 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 2: he saw you on that screen the first night, What. 217 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: Do you mean. 218 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 2: When we were together and you came on the screen, 219 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,719 Speaker 2: you were you were a like. 220 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,679 Speaker 1: A waiter or what is it called a hostess. 221 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 2: You were a hostess. He you came on the screen 222 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 2: and we were lying in bed together and I was 223 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 2: not paying attention, doing something else on my phone, probably 224 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 2: playing like some word cross game. And he was like, 225 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: oh my god, I'll never forget that. He's like, oh 226 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 2: my god, I have to get a general with that girl. 227 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 2: Very quickly after that, he was taking a work trip 228 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 2: to New York. And I'm very familiar in the ways 229 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 2: that someone goes outside their marriage. It's like when you've 230 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 2: lived through these patterns you recognize the choreography of betrayal, right, 231 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:14,959 Speaker 2: So it wasn't a shock. 232 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 1: It was just for me. 233 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 2: I guess it was confirmation what my gut had already 234 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 2: told me, but my brain was telling me another story. 235 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 2: But the confirmation for me was the picture he posted 236 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 2: on Instagram of a YouTube together. So that was pretty 237 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 2: much like I kept track for so many months just 238 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 2: through Instagram. Like it's so easy to like catch people 239 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,400 Speaker 2: doing I mean, not smart people. Anyways, I didn't. 240 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,079 Speaker 1: I didn't catch anything. 241 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 2: But you probably didn't give a fuck. You didn't give 242 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 2: a fuck at that point. 243 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 1: Well, and that's what's so hard is when people would 244 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: ask me, like how did you not know? It's like 245 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 1: because I loved him gone so much that I didn't. 246 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 1: I think subconsciously I didn't give a fuck where he was, 247 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: didn't care. 248 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 2: And even now, it's funny, that's how I felt as 249 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 2: the wife of course my house. Every time I knew 250 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 2: he was coming back, I had I was a ball 251 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 2: of anxiety and I just it was just nerves and 252 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 2: panic and like I just did not like knowing that 253 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 2: he was coming back. I loved knowing he was leaving, 254 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 2: so I didn't care. I didn't care, So you just 255 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 2: got the stuff that you wanted. You got that that 256 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:30,559 Speaker 2: tank filled up. 257 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,960 Speaker 1: What do you mean, the stuff, like actual things? Yeah, 258 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,199 Speaker 1: like the actual stuff. And then well, at the beginning. 259 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: You have to remember, at the beginning, we were always together. 260 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: And I think, I think it's my karma. I think 261 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: I made a deal with the devil. I think, uh, 262 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 1: I liked the stuff. Anytime my gut would speak to me, 263 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: I would drink more and numb it. I think there's 264 00:13:55,240 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 1: so many things that I truly chose not to see 265 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: because the moment that it became clear, I would drink 266 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: until enough was enough and I got sober, and then 267 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: I you know, I continued to work throughout our time together, 268 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: and I made my own money. So I stopped caring 269 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,839 Speaker 1: about Chanel bags and Louis Vuitton bags because I could 270 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: go get that on my own. I stopped caring about 271 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: the private jets because I was on it with him 272 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: and that was not fun. I stopped caring about being 273 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: on boats because I was with him, and that was 274 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: not fun. I just wanted to feel peace. And I 275 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: don't mean that as an insult, because we had many 276 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 1: good times together. We were just not meant to be 277 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: in a partnership ever, and we thrived as friends. That's 278 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: what I always really appreciated. 279 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 2: I knew, I felt that One thing that I would 280 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 2: say that I was probably a little more envious observing 281 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 2: your guys's relationship from Afar is that you guys had 282 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 2: this like a deep rooted friendship. We had something else. 283 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 2: We definitely had something else, and I don't I'm not 284 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 2: quite sure what that is, but I saw you guys 285 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 2: have this this like ebb and flow. That was like, really, 286 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 2: I wouldn't say it was beautiful at the time, but 287 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 2: like now looking back, you know, because I don't want 288 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 2: to say, you know, there's something very likable in the 289 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 2: beginning about this person. Oh yeah, right, take away the 290 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 2: stuff like take away, it's a personality I think that 291 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 2: I was very very attracted to. I also came into 292 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,240 Speaker 2: the relationship at seventeen, when I first met him in 293 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 2: New York when I was working on all my children. 294 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 2: It was the personality. It was like he was what 295 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 2: I kind of always wanted to be like in terms 296 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 2: of his charismatic, being able to tell stories, be funny. 297 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 2: But then like over time you learn this is why 298 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 2: dating someone for A second is important because you really, 299 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 2: you know, when the mask comes down and you see 300 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 2: people for who they are, or does the good outweigh 301 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 2: the bad? No, And that's not always the case. 302 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: No. And also because we we had a question about it, 303 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: says La La. You have mentioned never truly being in love. 304 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: How did you stay and have a child? And that 305 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: goes back to what you just said. I'm still and 306 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: I feel guilty ever questioning this because we talked about 307 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: this episode one that Ocean is just the greatest thing 308 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,120 Speaker 1: that ever happened to me, and I feel like the 309 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 1: sole purpose of that entire experience with him was to 310 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: get Ocean here. You know, she was just meant to 311 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: be on this planet as my baby. But I think 312 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: because there were such high highs and such low lows 313 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 1: and there was never anything in between. And you know, 314 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: still the reason why I feel like I started started 315 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 1: putting myself out there, you know, I want to say, 316 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:07,959 Speaker 1: like nine months to a year after the breakup, I 317 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: kind of did that and then retreated because I noticed 318 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 1: I was attracting men who did that to me, and 319 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 1: I was like, this is a me problem. I am 320 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:21,720 Speaker 1: attracting men who take me to you know, the bottom 321 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: of the ocean and then into fucking outer space within 322 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 1: a matter of moments. And I'm addicted to that, and 323 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 1: that is that is toxic. And we have to figure 324 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,879 Speaker 1: out what's going in with what's going on within our 325 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,719 Speaker 1: own selves to say, why do I why is this 326 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: attractive to me? Why do I think that this is normal? 327 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: Why am I getting off on this? 328 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 2: One hundred percent? I can relate to that. I think 329 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 2: I was in the beginning seeking emotional security in a 330 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 2: place that was was not I don't want to stay safe, 331 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 2: but it was just like the emotional security that wasn't there, right. 332 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 2: I was trying to find that in someone else because 333 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 2: I didn't have that in myself, right, And I think 334 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 2: that's where you have to have a lot of compassion 335 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 2: and then eventually you realize that that's actually an addiction, right. 336 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 2: Addiction just doesn't mean chugging a glass of vodka or 337 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 2: a bottle of vodka, or taking pills or gambling or 338 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 2: having sex or shopping or overeating. There's like this psychological 339 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,959 Speaker 2: addiction that I have had experience, and I didn't have 340 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 2: the tools then because when I was so young and 341 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 2: I needed that. I really think my experience. I truly 342 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:38,919 Speaker 2: believe to my core that experience and the experience that 343 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 2: I'm still going through on a daily basis, is one 344 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,400 Speaker 2: of my sole purposes in this life, Like I really needed. 345 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 2: It's teaching me so much every single day, every single day. 346 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because no matter, no matter what, you go 347 00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:00,119 Speaker 1: through these phases of life, and every time you think 348 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,159 Speaker 1: you've got it figured out, though, the universe knocks you 349 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,639 Speaker 1: off of your toes to teach you another lesson, to 350 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 1: humble you, to get you to where you need to be. 351 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 1: And I think you saying that it's it's also the 352 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: power of reflection after sobriety. 353 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, it's interesting. I did that for two years 354 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:29,239 Speaker 2: without a program, and my experience was completely different. Did 355 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 2: you ever like to stop drinking for a period of 356 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,280 Speaker 2: time without using a program? 357 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 1: No. The first time that I stopped drinking and went 358 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: into a program, I was still smoking weed. Which then 359 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: the second round, where I've been sober now for over 360 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: seven years, I had to go back because I felt 361 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 1: like I made a mockery of the program. I'm like, 362 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 1: these women were working so hard to stay sober and 363 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: I was smoking weed. It was like an amendsa had 364 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: to make. 365 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 2: Sobriety is a journey, right, and it's an individual journey. 366 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 2: Some people just want to put down the drink, or 367 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,399 Speaker 2: some people just want to put down the weed and 368 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 2: keep drinking. Like you had to do what's best for you. 369 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: I don't think that's a sober person. 370 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,919 Speaker 2: Then no, no, no, I mean not in the program that 371 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 2: we work, right, there's other programs that people work in 372 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 2: this specific twelve step programs. You it's any mind altering substance. 373 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, what were you saying. I don't know. I 374 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: cut you off. I need to stop doing that because 375 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 1: you're doing something about Amber never cut which I always do. 376 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 1: I need to work on that. She forgets everything. I'm like, 377 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: how do you not remember? How do you not literally 378 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,199 Speaker 1: it was on the tip of your tongue. She's like 379 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 1: ninety seven with fucking amnesia. 380 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,640 Speaker 2: But let me tell you, yes, I one hundred percent true. 381 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 2: But that also has to deal with just like having 382 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,399 Speaker 2: too much going on in my brain. I do have 383 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 2: to say, I've been taking fish oil and I've noticed 384 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 2: the biggest difference in my recall, Like my recall time 385 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,919 Speaker 2: the time laps might be like a day and then 386 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 2: it's gone down to like within ten minutes. I'm like, 387 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 2: oh that's it. 388 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 1: Well, that's better. 389 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 2: And I'm writing. I'm writing everything down. Remember you said, 390 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 2: you're like, write it down. If you have something to say, 391 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,159 Speaker 2: write it down. And I have I write now. I 392 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 2: write everything. I mean, my notes in my phone are 393 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 2: just so freaking disorganized, But the really important ones I 394 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:23,360 Speaker 2: always pin, which I love. 395 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 1: I love that feature. Oh wow, you know how to 396 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: pin things on your phone? Yeah wow, I'm engrasped. I'm 397 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:31,880 Speaker 1: very impressed by. 398 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,640 Speaker 2: And do you know how to lock a note? 399 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 1: No, you don't. 400 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,680 Speaker 2: You don't know how to lock a note. I can't 401 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:37,879 Speaker 2: wait till I see you next time. I have so 402 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 2: much to teach you. 403 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 1: See No, I don't know how to lock a note. 404 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: I need to figure out. So Ocean's iPad is connected 405 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 1: to my phone, and I started panicking one day because 406 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 1: she pulled up photos and it was just her and 407 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: like her friends throughout like the last year. But you know, 408 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: I have a lot of stuff on there. She's seen 409 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 1: me naked million times. I'm not really worried if she 410 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,239 Speaker 1: sees like a photo of me naked, but if I 411 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: get a nude from somebody, I don't need to do. 412 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,159 Speaker 1: I don't need to so speaking of I need to 413 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: lock a lot of things. Yeah, but she's grounded from 414 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 1: her iPad right now because she was a massive oh 415 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 1: amber I was. I was so La La from vander 416 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 1: Pump Rules on her ass last night. 417 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 2: Would she do? 418 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: She had her dolls in this stroller and all of 419 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: the sudden I hear it just like slamming down the 420 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 1: stairs and she's at the top of the stairs and 421 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, are you okay? What happened? 422 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,199 Speaker 1: She goes, I pushed it down the stairs and I go, 423 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: why would you do that? And she goes because I 424 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 1: wanted to So I told her like, that was not okay, 425 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,639 Speaker 1: and then she got so lippy with me. So I 426 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: took away all her roomy costumes that I had just 427 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 1: gotten for her because yeah, you know, she was asking 428 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: about them since you've been here, yeah, from K pop 429 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,639 Speaker 1: Demon Hunter. So she lost those. Then she kept getting 430 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: lippy with me, so I and obviously she lost the 431 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: stroller as well. I was like, we're done. And then 432 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: then I had to say, you talk one more time, 433 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: and I'm putting hot sauce in your mouth. I bluff. 434 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 1: I bluffal up right, and she goes, if when you 435 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: put hot sauce in my mouth, I can't wait, I'm 436 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,920 Speaker 1: gonna swallow it and then become a fire breathing dragon 437 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: and light you on fire. 438 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my goodness, no, So you want. 439 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,840 Speaker 1: To know what I did? I started laughing. I go, 440 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: you think dragons are real? That's fine? Is that real? 441 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 2: You crushed her dreams of knowing that dragons aren't real. 442 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 2: I'm sorry. You crushed my spirit as me and may 443 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:48,919 Speaker 2: have fucked up the carpet on my stairs. So I'm annoyed, okay, 444 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:55,199 Speaker 2: But the most important lesson in that is that throwing 445 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 2: a baby down the stairs can really hurt that baby. 446 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 2: Did she have any like recollection of like? 447 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: No, because when I tell her things like that, she 448 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 1: was the mom it's not even real. I wouldn't really 449 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 1: do that. And I'm like, oh, okay, Yeah, so she 450 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 1: knows that, but thinks that she's going to become a 451 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 1: fire breathing dragon with some chilula in her gut. 452 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,880 Speaker 2: So your laugh's on onces or consequences where you take 453 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 2: away things. 454 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, And she wouldn't stop. She wouldn't stop, and so 455 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 1: then she started again, and I go, I would think 456 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 1: long and hard about what's about to come out of 457 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,320 Speaker 1: your mouth right now, because the gymnastics bar that you 458 00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 1: love so much upstairs will be gone if you say 459 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:34,879 Speaker 1: one more word. 460 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I can't. So when London was little, 461 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,919 Speaker 2: she was like three, and she went through this spitting phase. 462 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 2: She would just and I was like, where the hell 463 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,399 Speaker 2: did she pick this up? Yeah, And so finally I 464 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 2: was like, I didn't know how to I don't know 465 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 2: how to discipline her at this point. And I think 466 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 2: it was my mom that told me put apples side 467 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 2: of vinegar a score bottle, and whenever she's because it's 468 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 2: healthy for you, right, but it tastes disgusting. So whenever 469 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 2: she would do that, I would I would say, nope, 470 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 2: we're going to the refrigerator. Open your mouth, show me 471 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 2: your tongue. And I mean it was like I was 472 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 2: putting gasoline probably tastes like gasoline, but down her throat 473 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 2: and she stopped. The spitting stopped very quickly. 474 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 1: Okay, Well that I just she she hasn't lost it 475 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: like that for a while, and all of this sudden 476 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:32,760 Speaker 1: she was just I didn't know who she was. Last 477 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,439 Speaker 1: night kicking, throwing the tantrum, and I'm like that we 478 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,920 Speaker 1: have not dealt with this in so long. I don't 479 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: understand why she's being like this. Mm hmmmmmm. 480 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 2: The demon. The demon came out and then I felt. 481 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 1: Bad because she came up and she was like, I'm sorry, 482 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,479 Speaker 1: Mom and wanted to sleep in my bed, and I 483 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 1: was like, okay, you can get in. 484 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 2: That's okay. I mean as long as there was a consequence. 485 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,119 Speaker 2: I mean, that's what I've learned with my kids. The 486 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,360 Speaker 2: consequences have to be immediately. Yeah, if you delay them, 487 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,360 Speaker 2: Like for instance, Riley had a sleep over this past weekend, 488 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 2: and I probably shouldn't have let it happened because she 489 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,679 Speaker 2: spent all day at the mall, which I dropped her 490 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,320 Speaker 2: off for the first time, and I was like terrified, 491 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,200 Speaker 2: But they ended up being five, but four girls spent 492 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:18,720 Speaker 2: the night the upstairs in my house. Disaster destroyed. Okay, 493 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 2: I said, eleven thirty is bedtime. I woke. I had 494 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,679 Speaker 2: fallen asleep because I go to bed super early. It 495 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,240 Speaker 2: was one thirty in the morning, and I heard this giggling. 496 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,360 Speaker 2: So I came up the stairs and you hear the 497 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 2: and then the door was closed, but you could see 498 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:37,160 Speaker 2: the light. I opened the door. One of the girls 499 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 2: is on a freaking ledge in one of the rooms. 500 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 2: There's like this tall ledge with a sprite in her hand. 501 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: A sprite. Well this has poppen one. Yeah, sprite. 502 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,480 Speaker 2: Oh my god. They were on a sugar high and 503 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 2: they looked at me. They're like, we can't sleep. And 504 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, the fucking light's on, No wonder why you can't. 505 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,880 Speaker 1: Sleep and your face chugging sugar. 506 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 2: Yes, I said, two of you in there, two of 507 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,200 Speaker 2: you in there. I'm like, it's one thirty five in 508 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,919 Speaker 2: the morning. And that was it. And I was like, 509 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 2: I told Riley, and when I tell you, they just tried. 510 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:12,360 Speaker 2: There was sprite bottles on my stairway when I woke 511 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 2: up this morning. Like they were like it was the 512 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 2: craziest thing. I told Riley. I said, like a frat house. Yeah, yeah, exactly. 513 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,160 Speaker 2: I said, you guys are old enough to make a mess, 514 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 2: you're old enough to clean it up. You're old enough 515 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 2: to stay up till one thirty in the morning, you're 516 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 2: old enough to clean up the spilled. It was like 517 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,920 Speaker 2: they had a freaking party. And I told Riley this morning, 518 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 2: I said, no more. I said, this is I'm really 519 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 2: actually disappointed because this is how you It's just so 520 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,879 Speaker 2: disrespectful to our house. And I even said to her, 521 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,359 Speaker 2: I said, if you had a house, would you like 522 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 2: someone to do this, if you were actually paying rent? 523 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,919 Speaker 2: And she's like, Mom, we were just having fun. I'm like, 524 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 2: you're missing the whole point. Never mind, get in the 525 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 2: freaking car. Let's go to school. 526 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,639 Speaker 1: What a freaking nightmare. What a nightmare? 527 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 2: I know, I can't even they're so why are kids 528 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 2: so gross and like messy? I mean, your kids are little. 529 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,080 Speaker 2: Your kids are a little, so you're you're dealing with toys. 530 00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:12,679 Speaker 2: I'm dealing with like I deal with it is gross, 531 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:19,639 Speaker 2: make makeup all of it. The conditioner is spilt in 532 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,360 Speaker 2: the shower, Like you step in the shower and you're 533 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,360 Speaker 2: like slipping, and you're like, why can't you just put 534 00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,640 Speaker 2: the freaking top on the conditioner? Literally it takes two seconds. 535 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I went from wanting three kids to I want 536 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 1: no kids. Just kidding. 537 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,840 Speaker 2: I literally went downstairs and Riley made popcorn for all 538 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 2: her friends. It was like the wrapper was left on 539 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 2: the counter, the bag was left on the counter, and 540 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 2: then there was like little extra kernels, and I'm just like, 541 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 2: this is disgusting. You you guys are disgusting. Anyways, I 542 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 2: don't know. I think because since I've got I've been sober, 543 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 2: I'm super o cdy about my house being clean, and 544 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 2: maybe I need to like a little bit, But like, 545 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,959 Speaker 2: how do you teach kids not to be so frickin gross? 546 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,680 Speaker 1: You want to know what you do? You put all 547 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: the stuff she leaves around the house in her room, 548 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: the popcorn kernels, the popcorn bag. If you like it around, 549 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,480 Speaker 1: you can have it. This is your space, this is 550 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 1: your room. How fun with it? Here's the cans of sprite. Yeah, 551 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: that's what I would do. But then again, I don't know. 552 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 1: I don't know. 553 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 2: Em I mean, no, you do know, I'm gonna try it. 554 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 1: You could. So speaking of how both of us parent, 555 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 1: it's weird because your kids are older. But I feel 556 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 1: like when I talk to Ocean, I'm dealing. I have 557 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: to remember that even though there are times she speaks 558 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,000 Speaker 1: like she's a full teenager, I have to remember she's 559 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: only four almost five. 560 00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 2: She's so mature for her age. 561 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: I know. It's why I tell her she's like, I 562 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,280 Speaker 1: don't want to be a kid anymore. I want to 563 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 1: be a grown up. And I'm like, don't say that, 564 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 1: don't say that. But I met, I met Riley when 565 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: she was three. I think London was six almost seven? 566 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 1: Is that what it would have been, m or maybe 567 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,000 Speaker 1: it was the other way around. I can't remember. 568 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 2: No, Riley was three. 569 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: Riley was three, right, Yep, she was a baby. 570 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 2: I think she was still. No, she wasn't in diapers. 571 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 2: I don't think she was in diapers anymore. 572 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: No, she wasn't in diapers when Laala was officially with him. 573 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 1: How did you approach co parenting? Were there ever any 574 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 1: rules Amber gave Lalla when it came to being with 575 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 1: her kids? This is a There were so many different phases. 576 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 1: There were moments. 577 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,360 Speaker 2: Where like I was. 578 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 1: I remember when I was posting them and I don't 579 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: know if I was sober at this point or not. 580 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: But you had told me not to and you had 581 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: texted me or him, and then I continue to do it. 582 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 1: So you posted something on socials, but like, do you 583 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 1: remember it where you and I would actually have con 584 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 1: like constructive conversations about co parenting? 585 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 2: One hundred percent? I think I also did you know that? 586 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 2: Going back to like a lot of the things that 587 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 2: I got mad of. I was just looking for a 588 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,000 Speaker 2: reason to be mad, and I wasn't healed at that point, 589 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 2: nor did I wanted to be healed. I wanted to 590 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 2: live in the anger, which is like, if anyone's going 591 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 2: through that, just just do the work. It's a lot easier. 592 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 2: It's like you get on the other side. But I 593 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:35,239 Speaker 2: think I'll never forget you were and still are the 594 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 2: only woman that came into that house or in my 595 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:45,520 Speaker 2: kid's life that actually gave a damn about bedtime and school, 596 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 2: specifically helping London who struggled, and so many people were 597 00:31:54,120 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 2: in denial of her challenges. But you saw that right 598 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 2: and everyone else, even to this day, the other person 599 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,440 Speaker 2: that's in his life are you know. It says the 600 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 2: craziest shit to my kids, which makes me really angry. 601 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: You were. 602 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 2: You were there, and you gave structure. So when you 603 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 2: were in that house, I had to keep reminding myself 604 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,480 Speaker 2: and actually other people had to remind me as well. 605 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,239 Speaker 2: It's that it was. It was a good thing that 606 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 2: you were there. You were fucking there. You were there, 607 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 2: and I'll never forget you were like all hands on deck, 608 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 2: So thank. 609 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: You for that. Well, it was a pleasure to be 610 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,240 Speaker 1: there for all of that, and it taught me, you know, 611 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 1: if I ever got involved again with someone who had children, 612 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 1: it would be very important for me. 613 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:58,760 Speaker 3: Sorry, it's okay, just to make sure that the mom 614 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 3: knows that like you're seeing, you're heard, you know, what 615 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 3: happens at your house. 616 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 4: I would love to implement over here. Like however, I can. 617 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: Make your life easier, make the transition easy. There's just 618 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: so much that you realize when you have your. 619 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:22,240 Speaker 5: Own kids, you know, And I know that I made 620 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:28,120 Speaker 5: that hard for you, and I know I can't change it. 621 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 1: But I learned a lot. And I'm happy that the 622 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:38,440 Speaker 1: little moments that we succeeded in co parenting together, I'm. 623 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 4: Happy that we have those, even though they were few 624 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 4: and far between, because there was just so much hurt 625 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 4: and vain and trauma. You know, we really did rise 626 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 4: to the occasion a lot, and I think we should 627 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:52,080 Speaker 4: be proud. 628 00:33:54,320 --> 00:34:00,040 Speaker 2: Oh, I am really proud of us. We've come a 629 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 2: very very long way. And when I tell people our story, 630 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 2: the origin of our story, about this new podcast, people 631 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:16,919 Speaker 2: are shocked. People are shocked, and that just makes it's 632 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 2: just confirmation that we're heading in the right direction. We 633 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,600 Speaker 2: get one life, and we make a lot of mistakes 634 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:30,720 Speaker 2: along the way. But if we're just slowly one percent 635 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,640 Speaker 2: a little bit better every day, or ten percent one day, 636 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 2: one percent the other day, we're doing our job right. 637 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 2: We have little humans and big humans that are watching 638 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 2: every move, and we have a family now, like we 639 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:52,960 Speaker 2: literally have this family that is so beautiful together. 640 00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, our job is just it'll only I remember a 641 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,400 Speaker 1: therapist said to me, it only takes one healthy parent 642 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 1: to make a child. Okay, so it's our job to 643 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: give love, give discipline, give structure, all of the things 644 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,360 Speaker 1: that are not that fun for a child to get. 645 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:15,799 Speaker 1: But once they get older, they're very they're better for it, 646 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,480 Speaker 1: and they're grateful. And I don't know about your kids. 647 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,400 Speaker 1: My kid thrives when she has structure, when she is 648 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,439 Speaker 1: able to call the shots and run shit and act 649 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,400 Speaker 1: a damn fool. She's in a full spiral. And so 650 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,400 Speaker 1: even though I don't get to do a lot like 651 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,919 Speaker 1: I have to play good cop and bad cop, I'm 652 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,640 Speaker 1: proud of it because I know that that my kid 653 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 1: is going to thrive from it. So I know it's 654 00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 1: not fun that you have to see sprite cans and 655 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 1: all the things and give structure and get your ass 656 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,040 Speaker 1: up for school. But like we're freaking crushing Amber. 657 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's freaking hard. Believe me. Some days all I 658 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:59,200 Speaker 2: want to do is lay in my closet and eat 659 00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,200 Speaker 2: myself into Ablivian and cry. 660 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning and I'm like, you've 661 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:08,319 Speaker 1: seen better days, bitch. You always look tired, Like I 662 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,879 Speaker 1: always just look tired. That's just like my new I'm like. 663 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,240 Speaker 2: I'm not always look tired. 664 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 1: Well, thank you, ipatches, bowtoks, all all of them for 665 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 1: bo talks. Yeah, thank go real there there will be 666 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 1: a point in time. We're three episodes in and I 667 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 1: think some people that are tuning in are still They're like, 668 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,400 Speaker 1: I really do want to know the nitty gritty of 669 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:35,200 Speaker 1: how they came to be. So I want people to 670 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,960 Speaker 1: write in. I want you to ask your questions. They like, 671 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: don't be vague. We want to get into the nitty 672 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: gritty of things and be honest. So your your question 673 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:51,040 Speaker 1: may be so wild, but if you have it, please 674 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,719 Speaker 1: write it in because we want you guys to understand 675 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: how this started. I loved doing this podcast today though, 676 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,919 Speaker 1: because I had the outline of the direction. But every 677 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,360 Speaker 1: time I'm with you, I just feel like we just tangent. No, 678 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 1: I don't need bullet points. 679 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,399 Speaker 2: There's so much And by the way, even though there's 680 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 2: been you know, some some time between the time you 681 00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,040 Speaker 2: left him to the time that you slept with them 682 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:21,319 Speaker 2: or you were with him, there's so much healing. But 683 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,719 Speaker 2: I still get healing by doing this with you the 684 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,279 Speaker 2: same because we're talking about moments that maybe we, like 685 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,680 Speaker 2: you didn't realize about, you know, the fingernail like situation 686 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,839 Speaker 2: with London and doing the glue on nails like that 687 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,040 Speaker 2: was really impactful for me as a mother at the time, 688 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,640 Speaker 2: and you didn't know. And so it's like, this is 689 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 2: what the audience is going to get. Is they're going 690 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,920 Speaker 2: to get They're going to see us actually heal in 691 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,719 Speaker 2: real real time, and they're going to see us you know, 692 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,320 Speaker 2: all the fun shit that's that's gonna come. Oh. 693 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 1: I love you so much. I see I'm excited to 694 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 1: see you in person soon. 695 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,080 Speaker 2: Oh me too, Yeah, I know, I'm excited. 696 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,840 Speaker 1: My loves. Thank you for listening to another episode of 697 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 1: An Unlikely Affair with Lala Kent and Amber Shiulders. We're 698 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,760 Speaker 1: going to catch you guys next week. 699 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,120 Speaker 2: Bye bye guys.