Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Yew Hey this Roy Chang. The Daily Show is off
Speaker 2: this week, but don't worry. We put together some of
Speaker 2: our favorite moments from the show in case you miss them.
Speaker 2: We'll be back with brand new shows on September tenth.
Speaker 2: Until then, enjoyed today's episode what we did last week?
Speaker 1: I thought a very nice piece on the show about
Speaker 1: how Fox News wanted people to apologize for rushing to
Speaker 1: judgment on the Ferguson shooting Michael Brown, and so we
Speaker 1: had think quite cleverly drew an analogy to that, and
Speaker 1: they're rush to judgment on ben Ghazi. It was really
Speaker 1: quite droll. No, well, Fox never addressed our Benghazi point.
Speaker 1: It appears now they're asking for more than an apology.
Speaker 3: Pete Williams, who his credit, got that Boston Marathon terror
Speaker 3: reporting dead on and the mainstream media hailed him as
Speaker 3: a hero forgetting it right, which he did. Fox News
Speaker 3: got this case right, not just me. Sean Hannity had
Speaker 3: a lot of segments, plus O'Reilly had a lot of
Speaker 3: segments urging caution. Would the mainstream media ever hail them
Speaker 3: as heroes like we heard about Pete Williams.
Speaker 1: Yeah, why doesn't Fox get as much credit as Who's
Speaker 1: Pete Williams? Anyway, the point is it wasn't the first
Speaker 1: time they got it right.
Speaker 3: I urged caution in the Do coverage and in the
Speaker 3: Trayvon Martin coverage, and now in this coverage.
Speaker 1: That's three times they got it right, three times in
Speaker 1: ten years. Those are solar eclipse numbers, people, which I
Speaker 1: think is why it's recommended you only watch Fox through
Speaker 1: a tiny pinhole poked in a piece of cardboard. You
Speaker 1: can't look directly at Fox. It will indelibly burn your soul.
Speaker 1: While of course the whole rush to judgment complaint is
Speaker 1: bullsh Fox is nothing but a rush to judgment in
Speaker 1: almost every situation. Okay, you're the caution and sober Reflection network.
Speaker 1: But my favorite part of the piece was after ten
Speaker 1: minutes of complaining that no one would ever thank them this.
Speaker 4: If you are waiting for the mainstream media to say
Speaker 4: not only that we were wrong in this racially charged
Speaker 4: case that resulted in so much violence in that town,
Speaker 4: and to credit Fox News for being right, You're gonna
Speaker 4: hold your breath.
Speaker 3: A long time and we don't care about them.
Speaker 1: Right, You don't care in the same way my mom
Speaker 1: doesn't care if I ever call Sure a call or not.
Speaker 1: I could just sit here and die. What the book is.
Speaker 1: The point is you were right, and that is newsworthy
Speaker 1: when Fox is right, and cause for celebration. So to
Speaker 1: honor that time you were right, we got you a
Speaker 1: fudgi the way, because you know I we think you're
Speaker 1: away of a network in that we've been chasing you
Speaker 1: our whole lives and just can't kill you. But that's
Speaker 1: not all Fox. In honor of this singular achievement of
Speaker 1: you being right, Liberal Hollywood has something they'd like to
Speaker 1: say to you. Hollywood.
Speaker 5: I'm George Lucas, and I'm here to assure you that
Speaker 5: I'm only going to make movies from now on that
Speaker 5: are blindly uncritical of America, like The Empire Strikes Back
Speaker 5: justifiably American Exceptionalism, Graffiti, Star Wars, The Reagan Missile Defense Version,
Speaker 5: and The Clinton Menace. Fox News, May you live long
Speaker 5: and prosper Wait. I didn't write that today.
Speaker 1: Sorry, But the truth is this Fox. We can send
Speaker 1: you all the congratulatory messages and praise we can muster,
Speaker 1: but it's really just going to pale and compare person
Speaker 1: to how your biggest fans feel about you, and so
Speaker 1: we had them tape some messages of congratulations as well.
Speaker 1: Take a look. One network is dransborn. We envisioned and
Speaker 1: reinvented the way news is gone. Fox is the dominant
Speaker 1: force in broadcast news today. We're the only network that's
Speaker 1: telling the truth right now. It's the only place you
Speaker 1: can feel good about your country.
Speaker 3: You might learn something as opposed to just having your
Speaker 3: worldview reinforced.
Speaker 1: We give you both sides. We give you all the
Speaker 1: stuff for simply better than the opposition. We keep kicking
Speaker 1: their ass every day. And the ratings number one, number one,
Speaker 1: number one.
Speaker 6: That's us probably the most powerful news agency in the
Speaker 6: world right now.
Speaker 1: We're certainly covering it this morning. Thank you Fox News.
Speaker 1: You guys, you're the best. Thank God for outlets like
Speaker 1: Fox News. Thank God for Fox News. Thank god Fox
Speaker 1: News is on it.
Speaker 6: Thank God, thank god, thank God, God blessed fox News.
Speaker 1: He clearly already has the great thing is I get
Speaker 1: it now? Your network launched in nineteen ninety six. You're
Speaker 1: eighteen years old. Just like every other eighteen year old,
Speaker 1: you have a massive ego and spend twenty four hours
Speaker 1: a day, jerking yourself all. My announcement of leaving did
Speaker 1: not go unnoticed. John Stewart's surprise announcement. Sixteen years as
Speaker 1: the host of The Daily Show. Now he's stepping aside.
Speaker 3: I don't think overall he's been a force for good
Speaker 3: because I think, especially in his later years, he got
Speaker 3: a little nasty, a buck the ball.
Speaker 1: A little nasty. Not a force for good. Okay, I
Speaker 1: can handle that, Megan in his later years, I am
Speaker 1: only fifty two. I got four to five productive years left,
Speaker 1: and then about ten to fifteen that are mostly and
Speaker 1: then I guess, you know, the last four or five
Speaker 1: angry confused years, or they're sometimes referred to the Fox
Speaker 1: News viewer demo years. You know what, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: It's all good. Everybody's entitled to their opinion.
Speaker 2: What he added to a political discourse was largely sarcasm, insults,
Speaker 2: and dishonest editing.
Speaker 4: You know, it's clearly selective editing of clips.
Speaker 3: I can speak personally to a lot of the attacks
Speaker 3: that were levied on me. Had no foothold in the facts.
Speaker 1: Why dishonest and no foothold in the facts.
Speaker 7: You have cast us pussons upon my.
Speaker 1: Honor, and I demand.
Speaker 7: Satisfaction. I challenge you Fox News to a lie off.
Speaker 1: Your distortions and lack of fact footholds against mine. To
Speaker 1: start us off here as fifty of yours in a
Speaker 1: six second mine tell you more where that came from.
Speaker 1: Only have a twenty two minute show. Actually, you just
Speaker 1: go to the website and you can produce each lie
Speaker 1: at your leisure. You see, something of a conventional wisdom
Speaker 1: about this show has taken hold on the right, a
Speaker 1: thought they've become so comfortable with that they don't feel
Speaker 1: the need to even offer evidence to support it. That
Speaker 1: we lie and distort things all the time to make
Speaker 1: them look bad. It's perhaps best summed up by this fella.
Speaker 5: Here, John Stewart has helped to polarize the country by
Speaker 5: poisoning the Republican brand.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, poisoning the Republican brand. You're talking about this
Speaker 1: brand right here?
Speaker 8: The College co ed Susan Fluke who goes before a
Speaker 8: congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid
Speaker 8: to have sex.
Speaker 1: What does that make her? It makes her a slut? Right?
Speaker 1: If any race of people should not have guilt about slavery.
Speaker 5: It's Caucasians.
Speaker 6: Obama's entire economic program is reparations.
Speaker 5: Kujintawa was just going InGaN k.
Speaker 6: He is moving all around and shaking, and it's purely
Speaker 6: an act.
Speaker 1: This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. We poisoned
Speaker 1: that brand just out of curiosity. Let me ask you
Speaker 1: a question, and I mean this sincerely. How do you
Speaker 1: poison a cyanide factory? But see the little game that
Speaker 1: they play here is the only reason the Right looks
Speaker 1: bad is that these guys are un fair liars to us.
Speaker 1: By the way, that sentiment is brought to you by
Speaker 1: Arby's Arby's proof. John Stewart cannot destroy a brand by
Speaker 1: telling people what's in it pig ais and cheese, pig
Speaker 1: ais and cheese. My point is, we don't lie, we
Speaker 1: don't distort. We actually have a fellow who works in
Speaker 1: the building who uses every fiber of his being to
Speaker 1: prevent us from doing so.
Speaker 7: That moral bastard that John.
Speaker 1: What Actually my parents were married, so technically I'm not
Speaker 1: a bastard.
Speaker 7: Fine was a figure speech.
Speaker 1: The point is on the right, they're pretending that our
Speaker 1: truthfulness is what's really important to them, which ironically is
Speaker 1: not true. What matters to the right is discrediting anything
Speaker 1: that they believes harms their side. That's their prime directive,
Speaker 1: Captain Kirk. They stick with the prime directive. They don't
Speaker 1: just drop the protocol anytime they feel like humping a
Speaker 1: green girl in a unitard. Look, this mission drives their
Speaker 1: attack on all the institutions that form the foundation of
Speaker 1: the country they purport to love so dearly.
Speaker 6: Our big and very broken government got bigger and more broken.
Speaker 3: American students who are already suffering in a broken education system,
Speaker 3: teachers suggesting America is.
Speaker 1: Evil, America's election system broken.
Speaker 8: Science itself stains a little bit corrupt.
Speaker 9: There's a lot of agendas involved.
Speaker 1: Voter fraud is rampant. And what pray tell is wrong
Speaker 1: with these institutions, the.
Speaker 6: Liberal bias and anti americanism is infiltrating America's public schools.
Speaker 4: Are liberals ignoring science to push their agenda?
Speaker 8: The liberal left trying to destroy too many good things
Speaker 8: about our country.
Speaker 4: Sure, the cancer of liberalism that has America on her knees,
Speaker 4: on her.
Speaker 7: Knees king all of our liberal dead, all.
Speaker 1: Of them, each institution suffering from the same malady. Of
Speaker 1: liberalism and what can be done. This is their genius.
Speaker 1: They purport to want to fix things. But conservatives are
Speaker 1: not looking to make education more rigorous and informative, or
Speaker 1: science more empirical or verifiable, or voting more representative, or
Speaker 1: the government more efficient or effective. They just want all
Speaker 1: those things to reinforce their partisan, ideological, conservative viewpoint, because
Speaker 1: in their minds, the opposite of bad isn't good. The
Speaker 1: opposite of bad is conservative. The opposite of wrong isn't right. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: but you get my point. It's right wing. They judge
Speaker 1: solely on the level of conservative content in everything. It's
Speaker 1: their only litmus test. Even stupid if.
Speaker 3: You thought American Sniper's successment Hollywood was getting less liberal hmm,
Speaker 3: you didn't see the Oscars last night. The mega hat
Speaker 3: was snubbed on Sunday night at the Oscars.
Speaker 5: Oh Clonice would Yeah, he spoke up for the Republican Party.
Speaker 1: We don't like him so much. We're gonna make a
Speaker 1: point with that. Is Clinice with the problem with the
Speaker 1: American Sniper? Do you think because he was at the
Speaker 1: RNC talking to the chair probably cliniache what's been a
Speaker 1: conservative icon for years, Oscar's already awarded him with Best
Speaker 1: Director and Best Picture during that time. The left wing
Speaker 1: loons in Hollywood made the movie in the first place
Speaker 1: and nominated for Best Picture. Fine, Hollywood didn't get Best
Speaker 1: Picture of American Sniper, so it must hate America. No,
Speaker 1: they didn't even give Best.
Speaker 7: Picture to the Best Picture.
Speaker 1: The same thing. I mean, for God's sakes, if oscar
Speaker 1: nominations were based on liberal street cred, you get streamed
Speaker 1: on our tunes and it's available on Blue Ray. It's
Speaker 1: of excellent Saint Patrick's thy gift. And you know the
Speaker 1: saddest part of all this, Republicans conservatives are so relentless
Speaker 1: in their drive for ideological purity that those institutions they
Speaker 1: complain about continue to cave for the same reason. I
Speaker 1: guess that you always seem to end up going to
Speaker 1: the restaurant the four year old wants to go to
Speaker 1: Fine We're gonna get fribbles again.
Speaker 7: Just stop crying.
Speaker 1: Fifteen states have approved voter id laws in the absence
Speaker 1: of any meaningful evidence of voter fraud. An Oklahoma State
Speaker 1: House committee voted to ban ap history for not sugarcoating
Speaker 1: slavery enough. Abstinence has approved sex education, and scientific fact
Speaker 1: isn't reported now, it's debated. So let's just stop. Let's
Speaker 1: stop pretending that these concessions to the right will at
Speaker 1: any point state the beast.
Speaker 9: What do you make of Pope Francis, He's had some
Speaker 9: statements that to me sound kind of liberal. Has taken
Speaker 9: me aback.
Speaker 1: The Hope isn't conservative enough for these people, So let's
Speaker 1: just stop giving into them. Guys, take it from someone
Speaker 1: who's been watching what they do for a blessedly almost
Speaker 1: over sixteen years or so. They're chronically angry war for
Speaker 1: ideological purity, where every aspect of life becomes a two
Speaker 1: dimensional battle for America's soul. It ages you even watching.
Speaker 1: It is killing me. This was me at the start
Speaker 1: of tonight's show. And if you think that's a lie,
Speaker 1: I've got a fine video I want to show you.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm watching Fox News, which I'll continue to
Speaker 1: do now for another I don't know thirty six shows
Speaker 1: minus Today's Open and Well. We often poke fun with
Speaker 1: them for lying and sucking. They do care very deeply
Speaker 1: about certain issues like Benghazi or women's legs, or that
Speaker 1: time one of their female anchors didn't wear a dress
Speaker 1: now known as pants Gazi. The point is, after Fox
Speaker 1: Finish is caring about lots of other stuff, they eventually
Speaker 1: care very deeply about poverty.
Speaker 9: We haven't heard much about poverty from the Obama White
Speaker 9: House over the last four years.
Speaker 1: Virtually no emphasis on families.
Speaker 7: Why not focus on poverty?
Speaker 4: I remember five or six years ago President Omama making
Speaker 4: this one of his main talking points.
Speaker 1: I'm going to.
Speaker 4: Fix the structure of the African American family.
Speaker 1: Where did that go? And while the president has been
Speaker 1: addressing those issues his entire presidency. Good point. In fact,
Speaker 1: yesterday President Obama sat down for a seventy six minute
Speaker 1: discussion at Georgetown University in which he explained all sorts
Speaker 1: of things about personal responsibility and the debate between government
Speaker 1: assistants and person more responsibility as being a false choice,
Speaker 1: and families, et cetera.
Speaker 8: A free market is perfectly compatible with also US making
Speaker 8: investment in good public schools, public universities, investments in public parks.
Speaker 8: If we do those things, the values and the character
Speaker 8: that those kids are learning, they're less likely to get
Speaker 8: pregnant as teens, and less likely to engage in drugs
Speaker 8: and less likely to be involved in the criminal justice system.
Speaker 8: That is a reinforcement of the values and characters that
Speaker 8: we want. I am a black man who grew up
Speaker 8: without a father, and I know the cost that I
Speaker 8: paid for them, and I also know that I had
Speaker 8: the capacity to break that cycle.
Speaker 1: You know who else talked with his hands, Hitler, Sir.
Speaker 1: Fox finally got the substantive presidential discussion on poverty that
Speaker 1: they always wanted, including on stage the counterview from the
Speaker 1: head of the conservative American Enterprise Institute stage. I can't
Speaker 1: wait to see Fox's happiness and satisfaction. Fox News Alert,
Speaker 1: Fox News Front and center.
Speaker 3: President Obama taking time out today for one of his
Speaker 3: favorite topics, Fox News.
Speaker 6: President Obama accused Fox News of propagating harmful stereotypes about
Speaker 6: poor Americans.
Speaker 3: The President accused the media, in particular Fox News, of
Speaker 3: suggesting the poor are unwilling to work.
Speaker 1: Yep, just like college students. In the four hour commencement,
Speaker 1: Fox basically pays no attention until they hear their own names,
Speaker 1: it turns out, at one point in this at one
Speaker 1: point in this incredibly thoughtful and productive session on poverty,
Speaker 1: the President made the easily provable and decidedly true point
Speaker 1: that Fox News narrative is that poverty is not a
Speaker 1: function of economic condition, but of character.
Speaker 8: The effort to suggest that the poor are sponges, leeches,
Speaker 8: are or don't want to work or lazy. If you
Speaker 8: watch Fox News on a regular basis, it is a
Speaker 8: constant menu. They will find like folks who make me man, Yeah,
Speaker 8: I don't know where they find them, right, They're all like,
Speaker 8: I don't want to work, I just want a free
Speaker 8: Obama phone or.
Speaker 7: Whatever, and that becomes an entire narrative. Really yeah, really
Speaker 7: really really really yes, what's.
Speaker 1: With your tone of disgust and disappointment? Are you anchoring
Speaker 1: a news desk or did you just come home to
Speaker 1: find your dog at eating your cat's entire litter box? Rosscoe? Really,
Speaker 1: it sounds to me like the President has a remarkably
Speaker 1: firm grasp on your business model there, Fox, So why
Speaker 1: are you outraged?
Speaker 9: In my opinion, the president is spinning his own policy
Speaker 9: failures as the middle class shrinks and the poor are
Speaker 9: trapped in this system, so to speak, the president blames us,
Speaker 9: the honest messengers.
Speaker 1: The honest messengers. Martha, really, what what did you even
Speaker 1: did you even watch the program? What are you talking
Speaker 1: about Barney.
Speaker 9: We've looked at the food stamp program, not at the recipients.
Speaker 9: We haven't characterized the recipients. We've looked at the program.
Speaker 9: We're not saying that the recipients of food stamps are
Speaker 9: bad people or that they're lazy.
Speaker 1: That is such a rich buffet of bullet. I can't
Speaker 1: at the three course prefix. I'm sorry, prickfest for starters.
Speaker 1: Let's demonstrate foxes contempt for those in poverty in our
Speaker 1: first course of this meal and a mouse douche if
Speaker 1: you will.
Speaker 9: America's poor actually good luck.
Speaker 4: Just call them pennies from government heaven, the United States
Speaker 4: of entitlement, the nation of takers.
Speaker 9: Entitlement society.
Speaker 1: Scary. We have nothing against the poor. It's just that
Speaker 1: their rabbit is greed burst through America's.
Speaker 7: Chest like the monster and alien.
Speaker 1: But I'm sorry you were saying, you don't characterize the poorest,
Speaker 1: bad people or lazy while your entree is ready just
Speaker 1: as you asked for. It medium unfair.
Speaker 6: We have conditioned people to look to the government to
Speaker 6: be their answer for every problem they have and take
Speaker 6: zero responsibility.
Speaker 1: The moocher clash, subsidize freeload.
Speaker 8: Give me these goodies, give me a cell phone, pay
Speaker 8: my rent.
Speaker 1: Bailouts from cradle to grave, Nation of Moocher's three.
Speaker 7: Loaders in America, entitlement, mentality, and.
Speaker 4: Sitting on the couch eating bondbonds, people who sleep till noon.
Speaker 1: Sucking off you know, the nipple of the government. How
Speaker 1: removed from reality is Fox's perception of their own coverage
Speaker 1: on poverty. The main defender of your network's attitude towards
Speaker 1: those in poverty is the main offender. He does segments
Speaker 1: that would make Ebeneezer Scrooge go, hey, take it easy.
Speaker 1: These are people we're talking about. So for dessert tonight,
Speaker 1: we serve you baked a glass hole.
Speaker 9: The handout nation rolls on. We hand out seventy nine
Speaker 9: billion dollars every January to these so called poor people.
Speaker 1: You're not being mean to poor people. I am.
Speaker 9: I am being mean to poor people. Frankly, I am.
Speaker 9: Many poor families have homes with cable TV, cell phones, computers,
Speaker 9: you name it, much much more. N nine percent have
Speaker 9: a refrigerator, eighty one percent have a microwave. You're going
Speaker 9: to give us the emotional side of the story. People
Speaker 9: need fifteen dollars per hour to live on the's starving
Speaker 9: without it? Okay, I got that the image we have
Speaker 9: of poor people as starving and living in squalor really
Speaker 9: is not accurate. Many of them have things. What they
Speaker 9: lack is the richness of spirit.
Speaker 1: Anyway, you boy, what day is it today? Is it
Speaker 1: Christmas Day? Go up and buy all the gooses. Keep
Speaker 1: them out of those lazy boy hands. And if you
Speaker 1: see a boy on crutches, push him down. He's not crippled.
Speaker 1: He's crippled at heart. He lacks a richness of legsness.
Speaker 7: Are these delaying?
Speaker 2: Are they?
Speaker 1: I don't real Are these honestly? Are these glaring contradictions
Speaker 1: a product of lack of self awareness or cynicism, or
Speaker 1: stupidity or evil? I don't know anymore, And I'm starting
Speaker 1: to lack a richness of What I don't understand is
Speaker 1: another journalist on another network leaping to defend something so
Speaker 1: clearly indefensible.
Speaker 4: What about this specific clip about Fox News calling poor
Speaker 4: people leeches, sponges and lazy?
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard that on Fox News?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 1: I have not. Well, I guess it's time for our
Speaker 1: favorite game show. Did you even try to research this? All?
Speaker 9: Right?
Speaker 7: The rules are simple.
Speaker 1: First, Joe Scarborough cites three words. He says he's never
Speaker 1: heard Fox News called poor people, and then we see
Speaker 1: how wrong he is. Today's words are lazy, sponges and leeches.
Speaker 1: Ready sitko.
Speaker 6: These programs do make people lazy, they get food stamps.
Speaker 9: It makes it easy for them to sponge off their
Speaker 9: girlfriends and spouses. So the more of the leeches that
Speaker 9: he can get to vote for him.
Speaker 1: And that's our game.
Speaker 3: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 3: searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 7: Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven.
Speaker 6: Ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime
Speaker 6: on Paramount plus Paramount Podcasts