1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,279 Speaker 1: All right, y'all, we have to first say happy birthday 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: to our girl, Sheirley Strawberrysday. Thank you, it's my birthday. 3 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: Thank you guys, showy alright, girl, a happy birthday. We 4 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: love you, Shirley girl. Thank you, Carl. I love you 5 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: guys to appreciate it very much. Oh, i'ld have took 6 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: you to Magic said it to night if we If 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: I was there, I ain't. We got them wings a 8 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: night girl. All right, listen, time now for my Strawberry Letter. Listen. 9 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 10 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey 11 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could 12 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on the air, just like 13 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: we're gonna read this one right here, right now. Let's 14 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: go buckle up and hold on tight. We got it 15 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. All right, 16 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: thank you. Few subject. I'm well known by a lot 17 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: of men. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I'm a forty four year 18 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: old woman who's been with a man for five years, 19 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: and he has had the same complaint four five years. 20 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: He always whines about me knowing too many men. I 21 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,679 Speaker 1: was raised in the city we live in, and my 22 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: father was a prominent businessman, and my family is well known. 23 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: When my boyfriend and I would go out, I'd run 24 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: into guys that I grew up with, guys that I 25 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: work with, went to high school or college with, etc. 26 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: These are men that I've known that these are men 27 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: that I've never dated or had sex with. If I 28 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,759 Speaker 1: mentioned a man in conversation, he asked how I knew, 29 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: how I know the man, if we've ever dated, and 30 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: what the nature of our relationship is. The final straw 31 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: was a few weeks ago when we went out to 32 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: a farmer's market and I saw a group of guys 33 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: that I went to college with me. I introduced him 34 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: to the four guys, and he was kind of rude 35 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: when he spoke to them afterwards. He almost caused a scene. 36 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 1: He yelled, I don't want to date a woman that 37 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: knows all of the men in town. He said that 38 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: I do not understand that men don't want their women 39 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: being friendly with men, and that it makes a woman 40 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: look easy. He also said it makes him look bad 41 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,079 Speaker 1: when I'm so eager to talk to them. He told 42 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: me I should speak and move on. He has actually 43 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 1: lectured me on this several times, and about three years 44 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: ago he broke up with me over this. I love 45 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,639 Speaker 1: this man, and I do not want to lose him 46 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: over something so silly. I have solid business relationships with 47 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: a lot of men. I am tired of juggling between 48 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: the man I love and the friends and associates that 49 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,800 Speaker 1: I've known for over thirty years. Is this my problem 50 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: or his? Do you think our relationship can withstand this? 51 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: Or should I let him go be insecure alone? Well, 52 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: this is a problem, you know, with both of you guys, 53 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: because he's upset that you have so many friends. But 54 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:06,359 Speaker 1: these are your friends, I mean legitimately, And I'd say 55 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 1: you definitely got it right when you mentioned insecure at 56 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: the end of your letter. He Sarey has a whole 57 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: show called Insecure, and your man sounds like he could 58 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: star in this show because he's acting a bit childish 59 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 1: and insecure. And why would he put all of that 60 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: on you and make you so uncomfortable? I mean, it's 61 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: humiliating when you do it in public like that, in 62 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: front of your friends. I mean, this is not something 63 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: you do to me, to a woman that you love. 64 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: If you're not insecure? Do you have to go to 65 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: you know, through the third degree every time you even 66 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: speak to a guy. I mean, I just think it's 67 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: a bit much. I mean, you didn't say he has 68 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: reason to feel this way about you. I mean, did 69 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: he catch you cheating with these guys, kissing them, sexting 70 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: with any of them? I mean, you don't mention that 71 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: at all in your letters. So I'll just have to 72 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: assume here that he hasn't come completely grown up yet. 73 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: I'm sure after five years you think you know you 74 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: want to have a future with this guy, and you 75 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: say you love him and everything, but he sounds just 76 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: way too immature and insecure. I don't think he's the 77 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: one for you if he doesn't want to accept the 78 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 1: fact that, like you said, you grew up there, you 79 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: went to school with these guys, You have professional relationships 80 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: with these people. I mean, doesn't he understand that you 81 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: did have a life before him. Everyone has a past. 82 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: You sound frustrated and tired here, not happy and in 83 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 1: love as you should be. Above all, please remember that 84 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: this is not going to stop. If you guys do 85 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: get married, it's gonna get worse. Probably he doesn't trust you. 86 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: That's the issue. He does not trust you, and he's 87 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,680 Speaker 1: going to continue to embarrass you. Sounds like, or just 88 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: break up with you like he did before. I don't know. 89 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: I think you should either move to another city where 90 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 1: you know no one and start afresh, or let him go. 91 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: As I see it, those are your choices because your 92 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: man can't handle the tru steve. Very good response. Surely, 93 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: very very good. I see a lot of the same thing, 94 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 1: and let us. But see she forty four, she's been 95 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: with it due five years. He's been complaining about the 96 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,359 Speaker 1: same thing. Now. You sent it up by saying you 97 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: was raised in this city, your father was a prominent businessman, 98 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: you your family famous, and you run into guys that 99 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,720 Speaker 1: you grew up with, work with, went to high school 100 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 1: or college with. You ain't never dated them or had 101 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: sex with them. Okay, well, let's slow up. You've never 102 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: dated them or had sex with him. You forty four, 103 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: you single, You ain't dating nobody. You ain't you ain't 104 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: been here, you ain't had no body. See. The problem 105 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: is this dude is trying to figure out how he 106 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: come alone in this time. You was raised in, grew 107 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: up in socializing and educated in he thank you fine. 108 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: He trying to figure out how a nobody in all 109 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,599 Speaker 1: this time to scooped you up. That's where he had 110 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:20,039 Speaker 1: with this. I'm telling you how he's processing this so 111 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: you can understand. So now he can't understand how he 112 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: didn't got to catch me out and ain't nobody else 113 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: wanted Unless we come back, I'll tell you what else 114 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: he thinking. Okay, all right, I can't wait to hear it. 115 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: All right, act like a lady, think like the man. 116 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: I'm an author of that book. Yes you are, sir, 117 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: very good buck. We'll have part two of Steve's response 118 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject 119 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: I'm well known by a lot of men. We'll get 120 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening to show, 121 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. 122 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 1: Let's subject I'm well known by a lot of man. Yeah. Yeah, 123 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: And that's the problem. You've stated in this letter that 124 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: you're well known, and your boyfriend go out. He'd been 125 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: complaining about the same thing for five years. You know 126 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: too many men, but these are guys you work with. 127 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: Your family was wealth, well known, your famous father was 128 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 1: big business man, and you've been in the same city, church, educated, school, 129 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: everything all right. Every time y'all go somewhere, you run 130 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: up into me and you speak when you're friendly. And 131 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: you never had dated or had sex with him. Now 132 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: you didn't had to date or have sex with somebody. See, 133 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: this is where your man is having the problem. Man, 134 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: you keep telling him you ain't dated or had sex 135 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: with none of them. He trying to figure out how 136 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: he didn't come to town scooped up to cats me out. 137 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: He thank you fine, and I don't know abody else. 138 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: Thank you fine. See that's what the problem is. Now. 139 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: Is he insecure? Yes he is, as Shirley said, But 140 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: the finer stragas. A few weeks ago we went out 141 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: to the farmer's market. Damn they know you're down there too. Yeah. 142 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: So now y'all down at the farmer's market. You saw 143 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: a group of guys you knew air last one of 144 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 1: them too. See this ain't adding up to dog. This 145 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 1: is what's wrong because you haven't told him anything or 146 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 1: enough about your past. Where he just been drawing conclusions 147 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: and he didn't drew a bunch of bad conclusions. I 148 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: introduced him to the four guys. He was kind of 149 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: rude when he spoke to him afterwards. He almost calls 150 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,599 Speaker 1: it seeing. He yelled, I don't want to date the 151 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: woman to know everybody, all the dudes in town. God. Now, 152 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: is he immature? Yes he is, because the problem he's 153 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 1: having is see, instead of realizing that he got the 154 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: prize and being proud of it and walking around flexing. 155 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: Instead of realizing he got the prize, he too worried 156 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 1: about who had the prize. See, and who had the 157 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: prize is driving his ass crazy. You know why, because 158 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: he's looking in the real view mirror. He can't even 159 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: see what he got now. He broke up with you 160 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 1: three years ago over this same incident, and you begged 161 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: him back, you know. And then he said, when you 162 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: real friendly, make you look easy. No, being friendly don't 163 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 1: make you look easy. It gives men more of the 164 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: green light, but it don't make you look easy. He 165 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: told you should speak and move on. Damn dog. See, See, 166 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: this ain't really the guy for you. Don't seem like 167 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: to me. As Shirley said it right, when you get married, 168 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: it's only gonna get worse. He's actually lectured me on 169 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: this several times about three years ago, y'all broke up. 170 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to lose him over something 171 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 1: that's silly. But I got a solid business relationship with 172 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: a lot of men. See, this is gonna be a 173 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: problem because you got a lot of men. So now 174 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,439 Speaker 1: let me ask you a question. All them whole lot 175 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: of men, you ain't seen one better than one you got. 176 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,559 Speaker 1: I'm just asking. I'm tired of juggling between the man 177 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: I love and the friends and the associates that I've 178 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,960 Speaker 1: known for every thirty years. Now, part of this is 179 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: your problem to system. So let me point this out 180 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 1: to you sometime. To get what you want, you got 181 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: to let go of what you had. Now, if maintaining 182 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: all these relationships and friendships is more important to you 183 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,559 Speaker 1: than the relationship, didn't do it. Now. I'm not saying 184 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 1: he's correcting this, but some of this stuff you might 185 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: be just a little bit too much. I don't know you, 186 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: but you could be and you might be too much 187 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 1: for him. Now, some other man might be cool with 188 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,960 Speaker 1: this hill, but this particular dude right here, with his 189 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: insecurities and the way he's not looking at you being 190 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,440 Speaker 1: the prize, he's so worried about who had the prize. 191 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: Y'all either got to sit around and you got to 192 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: sit out and explain to him your previous life so 193 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: he can be comfortable with it, because right now he's 194 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: assuming you've been with everybody. She told him, Steve, she 195 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: told him, what these are men that I've never dated 196 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,599 Speaker 1: or had sex with? Well, who have you dated and 197 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: had sex with? You? See, you can't be from the 198 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: same downtown damntown, No everybody and they had sex or 199 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 1: dated no damn body. What is that his business? Because 200 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: if he gonna make you his wife, he want to 201 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: know what he's dealing with. And the ain't no dude, 202 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: this is just the male ego, Shirley. No dude wants 203 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: to walk around thinking some other man that had this girl, 204 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: and even though that probably ain't even the case, he's 205 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 1: got securities. But she seems a little bit in this letter, 206 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: the way she wrote this letter, because it's so one sided. 207 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 1: She could be a little miss bubbly, bubbly, flirty, flirty. 208 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 1: You know, everybody like her. Everybody know that ain't in 209 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: the letter, but I'm just saying it. She didn't have 210 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 1: such I think she needs to sit the ass down 211 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: somewhere she flounces it. I'm on her side, not one 212 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: you sit out rubbing on his elbow. Stop touching him. 213 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: All right, Look, we gotta get out of here. Poster 214 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 1: coming some Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey. That and 215 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: just the Way I Walk. I got it like that 216 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 1: And check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Comes 217 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: Franks Now. Coming up, coming up after the hour, Junior 218 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: Sports Talk. Junior there I said it, coming up right 219 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,839 Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.