WEBVTT - Ep37: Living as a Trans-Man 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:08.360 That's sorry, that's where I got if you do that 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:16.680 while we all stage all right there, Hey guys, welcome 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:20.200 to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I wanted to we 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:22.200 excuse me, I forgot. I don't do the show solo, 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:25.400 but you know I hate that anyway. UM, we are 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:30.280 launching our Patreon account. I'm so super excited. So we 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:32.120 what we're gonna be doing with Patreon is you guys 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:35.319 are going to be able to subscribe UM to us 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:38.559 and with these comes tons of goodies and do you 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:41.040 want to talk about the tears that we're gonna offer us. So, 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:43.479 because we're you know, a little slotty slot slots, we 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:45.320 have named them after Basis, So if you want to 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:47.320 go to first base with us, it's just two dollars 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:51.120 a month, thinking um us for the free content we've 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:54.560 been giving out nikets for six months. A second base 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:57.840 is a bonus episode and video footage, So every single 0:00:57.880 --> 0:01:00.360 month will be providing bonus episodes. To start, it's gonna 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:02.440 be one a month, and as we get more Patreons, 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:05.160 we're gonna possibly doing two or maybe one every other week. 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:07.360 So we're super hyped up to do that. UM and 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:10.760 third base the best base. I most she really likes 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.720 this space in the space is really good and I 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:16.240 like to give. So this is the third base, final base. Um, 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.200 with this base, this is going to be fifteen dollars 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:21.400 a month, and what you're gonna get is everything before. 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:23.280 So you're gonna get the bonus episodes, you're gonna get 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:25.959 the video footage, and you're also going to get a 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:29.600 T shirt. Um that's if you remember at this tier 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.600 four four consecutive months. But the best, the best part 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:35.160 of this ship. We're also going to allow you to 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:38.720 help us plan our shows. Um, so we're gonna be 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:42.440 able to receive topics from you guys, and whoever's topics 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:44.759 we choose, we're gonna go ahead and shout you guys 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.440 out on the show. Now. With this will possibly become 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.360 longer episodes and no advertisements. We're really trying to eliminate ads. 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:53.800 I'm kind of tired of hearing about Blue Apron and 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:56.880 Talk space. A bitch is hungry and needs her mental 0:01:56.920 --> 0:01:59.480 health check all of the time. Now, so I really 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:01.720 want you guys is to check this out. Um, It's 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:03.320 not like you have to log onto a whole another 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:06.840 website too. Um, you know listen to another episode. It's 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:09.119 going to be in your Apple podcast just for you 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:12.320 or SoundCloud, I don't know, don't sound clothe all of that. 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:14.520 It'll it'll be really easy to access and I can 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:16.839 help um some of you guys who have never heard 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:19.440 of Patreon. I'll walk you guys through it either via 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:22.200 my Twitter. UM, we also are getting a horrible decisions 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.880 Twitter shout out, Wheezy. We are so coming to Facebook. 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.000 We're getting on all the platforms, so if you guys 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:29.400 have any questions, we will be able to answer those. Um, 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:31.760 and I guess let's get on with the show. Okay, 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:37.160 bye bye, Okay, So welcome yet to another episode of 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:46.040 Horribled Scisions. We have rush. So we are here for 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.560 another episode. I'm your girl, Mandy b a k A 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:53.560 full core pumps ak that beach and and we honey crip. 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:58.240 Um we'll get into that. But UM, I guess we 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:02.800 can introduce our guests now. I'm gonna let Wheezy steerhead 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:06.960 this episode for many reasons. UM, I guess what I 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.079 want to go ahead and put out in the beginning 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:12.239 of the show is a disclaimer UM for anyone a 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:14.160 part of the l g B t Q community. I 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:17.240 don't want to offend anyone with any of the questions 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:19.680 that I might ask throughout this show, or with anything 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:21.480 that I may say that can come off as offensive. 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.200 I'm learning, just like you guys, and just like a 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.320 lot of our listeners, I am not politically correct one 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.280 percent of the time. So I just want to throw 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.560 that out there. And so I just want to throw 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:34.600 that out there before this episode begins. So we do 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:37.400 you want to introduce who we have parties? Yourself? Please? 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:42.720 There we go? Alright? Uh um, I'll go by RuSHA London. Um, 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:48.440 no ship. The accent kind of says at all. You 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:53.680 see what I like to make his access now the 0:03:53.760 --> 0:04:00.720 rings visible? Yeah, I'm sorry, definitely marry um. Yeah, so 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.440 what do you like? So you do b K chat 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:05.080 That's how we found yes. So basically I was on 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:08.440 a platform called b k chat or back chat UM. 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:12.480 It started off in London as a web series or 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:18.120 a debate platform UM on YouTube basically to discuss various 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.520 different topics in today's society that are controversial. It's a 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:26.920 panel based UM that provides different opinions and perspectives on 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:29.839 various topics UM and basically what they did is a 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:33.440 spinoff that came to New York. UM, I auditioned. I auditioned, 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.200 and I'm a cast member. I didn't know that you 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:40.360 weren't on the UK one. I wasn't on the UK Well, 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:43.320 I wasn't on the UK one because at the when 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:45.279 when back chat came out, I was actually already living 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:48.160 out here, So when I heard about a year and 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:50.800 five months, So when I heard about it coming over here, 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:53.599 I was like, I'm down. I'm gonna audition and see 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.440 see what's good at my perspective, you know what I mean, 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:58.920 let people hear my opinions and try and try and 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:02.919 really um give people some thought provoking opinions so that 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:07.760 the contract, the conversations not just one track minded, you 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:10.719 know what I mean. And I feel like I've done that. 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:12.800 So it's so funny that you also say it's back 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:15.360 chat because I had black Chat. Yeah, I thought it 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:19.559 was Berkley. So I'm literally like posting you and people 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:21.360 are on my Twitter like b K chat. I ain't 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:24.840 seen that nan one of the motherfuck's in Berkeley, Like, 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.040 I don't know. I definitely thought it was b K 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:31.359 Brooklyn Chat. So I'm glad that you kind of corrected 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:38.680 us chat. Okay, So I remembered you because we recently 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:42.200 interviewed Melissa and her Magical Pussy, and you guys were 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:43.800 ready to get on us because you're like, oh, yeah, 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:45.880 been just want dudes have a nicer bills, yeah, and 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:49.920 much Why else do you listen to the show? So 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:53.160 you were the person that said is that all? Is 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:58.760 that all? So well? And I was like this nin 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:02.400 is me. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. That that kind 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:04.400 of caught me off guard because I was like, yo, 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:06.760 you're really saying that this is all that you have 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:09.480 to to give, you know what I mean. It's like 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:11.640 for me, it was more a question of not so 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:14.279 much her man right and her man expects from from 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:17.080 her or or requires or anything like that. It was 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:20.200 more case of is this really like the weight of 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.640 you as a woman? Like that was where I was 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.000 coming from, you know what I mean, because it was like, 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:27.919 as a woman, like, of course, your pussy is is great, 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:34.680 it's magical, apparently, how mean it much? She she got 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:38.080 a niggat, right, And I was saying, but at the 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.360 same time, it's like, as a woman, there's so much 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:44.560 that you'll have to offer that holds so much weight, 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:48.480 and I feel like in society we generally hold pussy 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.640 on the pedal stool. And it's like, if that's your 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.240 only contributing factor to relationship, how long is this really 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.320 gonna last? That was kind of my mindset, and it 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:58.840 was like, how are you comfortable with with saying this 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:03.359 when potentially that could be all that your relationships based 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:05.080 on them? And I think we dug too much into 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:06.440 that because we were like, we still don't get it, 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:09.040 we still don't get it. We still get it and listen, 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:11.480 it's got to be good. Um. But now you're on 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:13.520 our show because a new video has come onto b 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:17.440 K Chat where you came out as trans to your panel, 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:21.600 I was curious, did you before you auditioned, did you 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.400 tell them wow, what made you change? What made you 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:27.360 decide to come out? So to be honest, it came 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:30.640 from a selfish place and a selfless place. And I 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.960 say that in a sense of coming from London, it's 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.280 evident that I'm known in a sense, you know what 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:38.600 I mean? Like I've been to school with people, I've 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:41.200 been to college with people, I've worked with people. There's 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:43.960 gonna be for me. It was like I didn't want 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:47.120 anyone to feel like they held weight over me, like 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.120 they was going to be the puppet master to my 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:51.600 life and my story and be trying to out me, 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:54.040 you know what I mean, like on social media, be like, 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:55.960 oh I know him, he used to be. I didn't 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:58.720 want anyone to feel like they had that power over me. 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:00.520 So that was the self because of real they would 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:04.720 have never knew. No, I would never know. But we 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:08.680 we want to get really deep into the discussion of 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:11.960 you being a trans man and that that's the correct terminology. 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:14.320 So we're gonna get into the trans man discussion. But 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:16.680 prior to that, we kind of like to break the 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:19.600 ice with I guess and kind of you know, so 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.600 I adn't even questions. I don't even have your oh girl, 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.520 I pass it because I got some good ones. Um So, 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:27.040 what we like to do with our guests when they 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:28.800 come on the show is we like to play either 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.440 this or that, or have you ever? And I decided 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:32.760 to do this or that with you because I think 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:35.959 that would be, you know, very telling. Um So I'm 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:40.000 gonna start off fairly simple. Okay, So would you rather 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:44.199 your parents walk in on your masturbating or walk in 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:52.080 on your parents, masturbait. We looked like she's thinking so hard. 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:54.959 Right now, my mom's walked in. She's walked in on you. 0:08:55.520 --> 0:09:01.400 What would you rather do? Like, I prefer them to 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:05.240 walk in on me. You prefer them because you're always 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:07.920 getting caught doing ship right. And it's like as a parent, 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.080 as a parent when you have a child, Like as 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:11.920 much as you don't ever expect to walk in on 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:14.920 your child master being as a parent, you know that 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:17.160 there's going to be certain things that you walk into 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:19.439 with your child, you know what I'm saying. Whereas as 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:20.960 a child, you don't ever think that you're gonna walk 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:23.719 in on your parents. Oh my god, I walked into 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:30.800 my mom jerking my dad off. One I was like 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:32.760 eleven years old. I remember calling our first name. I 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.800 said Jewel, good night. I would die. So this is 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.840 another one. This is rather funny. So would you rather 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.880 have sex with someone who never showers or someone who 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:51.240 never brushes their teeth? Both bed? Yeah, that's fun. If 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:53.599 I smote the nanny on it? Wait you bend the 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:58.800 die over? Yeah? Would you just said? Oh okay, but 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:01.160 like think about it, you. I'm sure everyone slept with 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:05.440 someone they've never kissed exactly right, A lot of nigga 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:14.000 my nose stuff up right now? Okay? And then would 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:17.880 you rather date someone who refuses to cuddle or who 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:20.960 refuses to go down on? You? Refused to go down? Really? 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:25.440 That was so fast? I really like coming. I got 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:31.840 a dog, I could get a teddy, but listen, I 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:34.720 could get what's it called an electrical blanket that feels 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:39.520 like a caudle? No, I guess here we go the 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:41.400 minute the man in the room is sucking saying, I, 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:46.280 of course, just let me get that. Okay, and I 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:49.000 have one more. This is one that I'd like. You know, 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.080 either both of you gotta answer. Would you rather have 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:56.040 sex in front of your closest friends or have sex 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:58.920 on a video with your face blurred out but circulated 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:04.880 online video? How? No, you don't have to. You don't 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.120 know what you gotta wear. You ask my friends to 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.600 watch me. I'm not gonna lie beat in front of 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:11.720 my friends. So you beat off in front of your 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:13.560 friend in front of one of my friends that they 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.160 walked in and they wasn't I didn't stop, and I 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:18.760 was like, yeah, cool, Oh, I know that's right. I 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:20.520 want all of my friends to see me first. You 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:22.400 know you don't know my about short school to get 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:32.560 me let me come back. Okay, well, I'm glad to 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:35.520 see we're all laughing. Now what else we like to 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:37.480 do on our weekly shows. I'm not sure if you listen, 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:41.960 but we have kinks of the weeks, week of the week, 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.360 weeks not weeks. You have it? Um, you want me 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:45.800 to read it? Yeah? I like the one you had 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:51.280 because it's gross. Which one? Oh? That one? I'm not 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:53.240 gonna lie in screenshot at one. So we're gonna go 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:57.080 with sorts. Okay, Well, I guess that this is really 0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:04.160 um odds at galma tophilia. I want to say it 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:08.480 like I'm not retarded atmaphilia. There we go. I say 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:22.359 it like a mataphilia. I feel like a Wikipedia out metaphilia. 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:27.119 It's a paraphilia in which a person gets aroused by dolls, statues, 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:31.719 and mannequins. I watch the document or nothing. Did you 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:34.400 see the guy in love with his car? Dude? People 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.920 really fall in love with things. So anyway, you know, 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.360 anytime there's a kink, they're always weird. I try to 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:43.480 put myself in that person's shoes. I think I feel 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:48.800 like that about my bead. Wait, I don't get aroused 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.679 by it, but like I get really turned on at 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:54.080 the idea of going to bed. I'm excited to go 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:56.000 home to my bed. I feel like I'm in love 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.480 with it. See, I don't know, So I'm gonna admit 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:06.200 something I probably shouldn't, but it doesn't matter. I was young, Okay, 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:10.680 so before I started having sex, Like I had this 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:16.080 big teddy bear that I did. We all used are 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:21.120 stuffed animals. I didn't even have to. Well, you never hunched, 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:22.880 so you used to hunch the edge of your bed 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:26.080 and I used to hunch this big stuffed animals. So 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:29.120 you've never hunched anything that wasn't a post yourself again, 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:34.760 because I feel like a little kid does that. I 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.760 like really used to like grind, Like I used to 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.160 ride the hell out of my fucking teddy bear growing up, 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:44.240 and I proba, I'm not gonna lie. It used to 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:47.040 make my pussy really wet. And I was like probably 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:49.520 seven or eight or nine, really fucking the shot out 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:52.120 of my teddy bear. And so when when you said 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:53.320 that we were going to have this as a king, 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:55.760 I was like, bro fucking statues. But I'm not gonna lie. 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:58.400 There's this big old statue in Columbus Circle and it's 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:01.680 a big old it's a super Columbus naked. But no, 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:03.720 that's not the one with Dick showing. I'm talking about 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.760 the mall where you have the big guy and it's 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:09.480 like a and I just like to look at the 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:12.199 penis on the statue. I think it's you know, I'm 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:14.760 not by it now, I'm not turning on it, but 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:20.240 I was turned on by rubbing my goddamn um. Honestly, 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.080 I could have it on anything. I've been doing this 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.840 new thing with lover voice since he got home, so like, 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.840 you know, you'd be sucking his knee. No, but you 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.440 know how like when you with somebody, you already know 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:32.800 if you wanted to be long sex, it can but 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:36.120 could also be very short. Yep, we could like five minutes. 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.040 So now I think he'd just be ready to come 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:40.960 and go to bed. So like before we're about to, 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:42.680 he'll go down on me and I'll get on top 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:44.360 of him, and then he kind of just lets me 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:46.480 sit on his chest for a little bit while we 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:49.240 make out, or like on his stomach, and I come 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:51.120 like that bitch rubbing on like just as long as 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:53.040 like clip feel a little bit of dick. It's like 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:55.080 a tease and it's kind of high. Is that weird? Okay, No, 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.480 that's not weird. That makes sense. It's not a statue, 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:02.320 but I mean it's a it's a not a option stuff. 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:07.360 On the documentary you said people like had arousals from 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:10.320 their cars through different objects and the statues, well, the 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:12.440 statue one when I saw enough you saw this one 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.440 where the guy was in love with the doll um 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:17.040 it was a live doll. They pay like a thousand 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.400 dollars and no, no, no, not the thousand, probably way more. 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:24.280 They're very heavy. He would put it on I see. 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:26.880 Oh no, I'm talking about one where like they put 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.280 on these outfits. They spend mad money for it, and 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.560 it's like a doll literally like they put it on 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:35.440 and it looks like a real life walking doll and 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:37.720 that's their thing like that. I just see people that 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.320 are partners with dolls, and I heard a guy would 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:41.160 be like, I don't want to go out in the 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.400 real world and just you know, meet people and have 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.920 to deal with them. Now, these dolls have actually seen 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.880 in the Museum of Sex. I think it's and their 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:53.120 eyes move and like the mouth is like softer. I 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.680 think one of the dolls and there's twenty dollars that's 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.120 in the skin feels real. He changes her clothes. He's like, oh, 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:02.240 she likes to wear pain. So I guess for the listeners, 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:03.960 I do want you guys to know that this is 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.920 not the same as a blow up doll or sex 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:09.640 toys or anything like that. This is really an affixiation 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:16.080 with statues and option of people dolls. Really, yeah, we 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:20.160 do not even blow up dolls, man, like those real livings. 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:22.760 Guys that are listening, I'm gonna find these porns for you. 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:27.160 Even since Twitter allows pretty much everything, Twitter is blocking 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:35.400 out like, oh my god, I hope no one is 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:38.960 looking at my phone because it's mad Dicks bron the light, 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:42.880 mad din on the light. Because I'm a whole all 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.360 day every day. I don't know who this is. Okay, 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:48.440 it's a bill collector, so okay, um, and I think 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:51.120 that's kind of We're gonna get into our questions, but 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.760 I'm not even gonna lie, I said my disclaimer. I'm 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:57.920 gonna let we the start off nice until I get 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:00.480 into the questions that are probably on everybody's mother s mind. 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.760 So go ahead and say that the question to get 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.560 this started. But I want to know, Um, how do 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:10.240 you describe yourself? Are you? Hey, you're a straight chance 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:12.119 in it man? Are you? Because like people don't know? 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:18.159 So yeah, I describe myself. I guess as a black 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:22.800 straight man. Um, I guess for the sake of politics 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.720 and being politically correct, I have to throw in trends. 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.920 For a long time, I didn't, and that was because 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:33.280 I didn't want to be identified as I didn't want to. 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.640 I didn't want to be put into a yet another box. 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.000 I don't have to, however, and a lot of terms 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:43.200 of raising awareness I feel like I have. That's that's 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:45.520 the selfless part of me. I have to because there's 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:49.399 so many other little boys and girls that feel the 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:51.720 same way that I did as a child and didn't 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.600 have an adult to identify with, or an adult to 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:57.760 to have these kinds of discussions with. Didn't have anyone 0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:00.199 around him that was raising awareness in regards to what 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:03.000 it's like to be trans and the trials and relations 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:06.120 of being a young black or brown or person of color. 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:08.080 You know what I mean? That identifies as trend. So 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:10.239 I feel like it's very important for me and now 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:12.680 as an adult, to be the adult that I needed 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.720 as a child. So you said that no one, um 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:18.439 like a lot of people are listening and young adults 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.600 don't understand what it's like to go through this. So 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:24.560 can you explain how it was that you felt as 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:27.360 a child. Well, what you were born? Yeah, you were 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:31.399 born a female, correct, What was it like growing and 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:34.240 how did you deal with the trans how? Yeah, what 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.320 prompted you to transition? And I'm going to start with 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:39.960 your question first, which was age. I was eight years 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.760 old when I was first attracted to another female. So 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:44.520 not even when you know you were the wrong girl, No, 0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:46.680 I had no idea at that point. All that I 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.440 knew was that the boys and girls playing kiss chase 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:51.679 in the playground, and I went on being kissed or 0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:55.800 chased by no guy we're fighting from like what do 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:58.080 you mean? You know what I mean? But I knew 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:01.399 that I was attracted to a female, and for me, 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:03.680 it was like I couldn't comprehend it because I grew 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:06.560 up in a in a in a home where my 0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.840 mom was with my stepdad at the time, had been 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.280 for years, and my older brother, who six years older 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:19.800 than me, had only ever been with females. Females. That's good, ROMI. 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:24.720 So I had never seen any interaction between any anyone 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:28.679 else other than males and females. So what city did 0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:32.360 you grow up in? London? Okay? Okay? Now I felt 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:34.560 like London was progressive? Was it not? How do you 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:39.520 by the way six? Um? So at that time, London 0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:41.760 is very progressive. London is very similar to New York 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:45.840 and in various senses. Um, it's very diverse, and yes, 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:51.119 it is very progressive. Um. However, back in those days, 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:55.280 there wasn't that like look look even here now in 0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:57.280 the in the state's the same, even in the nineties. 0:19:57.280 --> 0:19:59.240 We're just now progressing to where we can even have 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:04.359 this converse. There's still going to be something that do say. 0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:06.120 And it is where it is, and this is where 0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:09.840 this Conversations like this are very important to be heard. UM. 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:11.960 But but then and and also it depends on what 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:13.760 area you grow up. And I'm sure you guys are 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:15.080 aware of this. In New York. If you grew up 0:20:15.119 --> 0:20:16.520 in a certain area in New York, there's certain things 0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:18.800 that you're gonna be exposed to. UM. And there certain 0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:21.160 things that you're you're definitely not going to be exposed 0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:22.560 to you, you you know what I mean? And that was 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:24.840 very much so high. It was where I was living. 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:28.560 I grew up in a hood essentially speaking, and what 0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:30.679 I was aware of and what I was exposed to 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:36.960 um wasn't anything close to the LGBTQ community. UM. In fact, 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:39.200 in terms of my friends at that moment in time, 0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:41.399 you know, if we would even see anything like that, 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:43.479 and even me, like I was, I was a product 0:20:43.480 --> 0:20:45.240 of my environment. If you could see anything like a 0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:48.320 gamel was like, oh you're batty boy and what I'm saying. 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.000 And I'm from the Caribbean. Also my family is from 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:53.360 the Caribbean. So that was a big influence. Even after 0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:59.520 the music bashment, a lot of bashment is that. So 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:06.439 now that's interesting because I'm like super curious because you 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:09.320 mentioned actually after Mike that you just said you were 0:21:09.320 --> 0:21:10.600 from the hood, and you were like, you know, this 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:14.679 is not only culture, but race and race influences culture. 0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:18.000 You think the black community, I think that the black 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:24.359 community is in this unfortunate bubble exactly that the word 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:27.680 real my mouth, in this bubble where they have this 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:32.200 um forced concept that it doesn't exist, that the LGBTQ 0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:36.080 community does not exist in the Black community. And it's 0:21:36.160 --> 0:21:39.080 like no, like first and foremost, but all of those 0:21:39.080 --> 0:21:40.960