1
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,360
Speaker 1: That's sorry, that's where I got if you do that

2
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:16,680
Speaker 1: while we all stage all right there, Hey guys, welcome

3
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,200
Speaker 1: to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I wanted to we

4
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,200
Speaker 1: excuse me, I forgot. I don't do the show solo,

5
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,400
Speaker 1: but you know I hate that anyway. UM, we are

6
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:30,280
Speaker 1: launching our Patreon account. I'm so super excited. So we

7
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,120
Speaker 1: what we're gonna be doing with Patreon is you guys

8
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,319
Speaker 1: are going to be able to subscribe UM to us

9
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,559
Speaker 1: and with these comes tons of goodies and do you

10
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,040
Speaker 1: want to talk about the tears that we're gonna offer us. So,

11
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,479
Speaker 1: because we're you know, a little slotty slot slots, we

12
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,320
Speaker 1: have named them after Basis, So if you want to

13
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,320
Speaker 1: go to first base with us, it's just two dollars

14
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,120
Speaker 1: a month, thinking um us for the free content we've

15
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,560
Speaker 1: been giving out nikets for six months. A second base

16
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,840
Speaker 1: is a bonus episode and video footage, So every single

17
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,360
Speaker 1: month will be providing bonus episodes. To start, it's gonna

18
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,440
Speaker 1: be one a month, and as we get more Patreons,

19
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,160
Speaker 1: we're gonna possibly doing two or maybe one every other week.

20
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,360
Speaker 1: So we're super hyped up to do that. UM and

21
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,760
Speaker 1: third base the best base. I most she really likes

22
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,720
Speaker 1: this space in the space is really good and I

23
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,240
Speaker 1: like to give. So this is the third base, final base. Um,

24
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,200
Speaker 1: with this base, this is going to be fifteen dollars

25
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,400
Speaker 1: a month, and what you're gonna get is everything before.

26
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,280
Speaker 1: So you're gonna get the bonus episodes, you're gonna get

27
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,959
Speaker 1: the video footage, and you're also going to get a

28
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,600
Speaker 1: T shirt. Um that's if you remember at this tier

29
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,600
Speaker 1: four four consecutive months. But the best, the best part

30
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,160
Speaker 1: of this ship. We're also going to allow you to

31
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,720
Speaker 1: help us plan our shows. Um, so we're gonna be

32
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,440
Speaker 1: able to receive topics from you guys, and whoever's topics

33
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,759
Speaker 1: we choose, we're gonna go ahead and shout you guys

34
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,440
Speaker 1: out on the show. Now. With this will possibly become

35
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,360
Speaker 1: longer episodes and no advertisements. We're really trying to eliminate ads.

36
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,800
Speaker 1: I'm kind of tired of hearing about Blue Apron and

37
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,880
Speaker 1: Talk space. A bitch is hungry and needs her mental

38
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,480
Speaker 1: health check all of the time. Now, so I really

39
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,720
Speaker 1: want you guys is to check this out. Um, It's

40
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,320
Speaker 1: not like you have to log onto a whole another

41
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,840
Speaker 1: website too. Um, you know listen to another episode. It's

42
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,119
Speaker 1: going to be in your Apple podcast just for you

43
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,320
Speaker 1: or SoundCloud, I don't know, don't sound clothe all of that.

44
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,520
Speaker 1: It'll it'll be really easy to access and I can

45
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,839
Speaker 1: help um some of you guys who have never heard

46
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,440
Speaker 1: of Patreon. I'll walk you guys through it either via

47
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,200
Speaker 1: my Twitter. UM, we also are getting a horrible decisions

48
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,880
Speaker 1: Twitter shout out, Wheezy. We are so coming to Facebook.

49
00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,000
Speaker 1: We're getting on all the platforms, so if you guys

50
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,400
Speaker 1: have any questions, we will be able to answer those. Um,

51
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,760
Speaker 1: and I guess let's get on with the show. Okay,

52
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:37,160
Speaker 1: bye bye, Okay, So welcome yet to another episode of

53
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:46,040
Speaker 1: Horribled Scisions. We have rush. So we are here for

54
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,560
Speaker 1: another episode. I'm your girl, Mandy b a k A

55
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:53,560
Speaker 1: full core pumps ak that beach and and we honey crip.

56
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,240
Speaker 1: Um we'll get into that. But UM, I guess we

57
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,800
Speaker 1: can introduce our guests now. I'm gonna let Wheezy steerhead

58
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,960
Speaker 1: this episode for many reasons. UM, I guess what I

59
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,079
Speaker 1: want to go ahead and put out in the beginning

60
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,239
Speaker 1: of the show is a disclaimer UM for anyone a

61
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,160
Speaker 1: part of the l g B t Q community. I

62
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,240
Speaker 1: don't want to offend anyone with any of the questions

63
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,680
Speaker 1: that I might ask throughout this show, or with anything

64
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,480
Speaker 1: that I may say that can come off as offensive.

65
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,200
Speaker 1: I'm learning, just like you guys, and just like a

66
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,320
Speaker 1: lot of our listeners, I am not politically correct one

67
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,280
Speaker 1: percent of the time. So I just want to throw

68
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 1: that out there. And so I just want to throw

69
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,600
Speaker 1: that out there before this episode begins. So we do

70
00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,400
Speaker 1: you want to introduce who we have parties? Yourself? Please?

71
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:42,720
Speaker 1: There we go? Alright? Uh um, I'll go by RuSHA London. Um,

72
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:48,440
Speaker 1: no ship. The accent kind of says at all. You

73
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:53,680
Speaker 1: see what I like to make his access now the

74
00:03:53,760 --> 00:04:00,720
Speaker 1: rings visible? Yeah, I'm sorry, definitely marry um. Yeah, so

75
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,440
Speaker 1: what do you like? So you do b K chat

76
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,080
Speaker 1: That's how we found yes. So basically I was on

77
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,440
Speaker 1: a platform called b k chat or back chat UM.

78
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:12,480
Speaker 1: It started off in London as a web series or

79
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:18,120
Speaker 1: a debate platform UM on YouTube basically to discuss various

80
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,520
Speaker 1: different topics in today's society that are controversial. It's a

81
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:26,920
Speaker 1: panel based UM that provides different opinions and perspectives on

82
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,839
Speaker 1: various topics UM and basically what they did is a

83
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,440
Speaker 1: spinoff that came to New York. UM, I auditioned. I auditioned,

84
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,200
Speaker 1: and I'm a cast member. I didn't know that you

85
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:40,360
Speaker 1: weren't on the UK one. I wasn't on the UK Well,

86
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,320
Speaker 1: I wasn't on the UK one because at the when

87
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,279
Speaker 1: when back chat came out, I was actually already living

88
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,160
Speaker 1: out here, So when I heard about a year and

89
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,800
Speaker 1: five months, So when I heard about it coming over here,

90
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,599
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm down. I'm gonna audition and see

91
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,440
Speaker 1: see what's good at my perspective, you know what I mean,

92
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,920
Speaker 1: let people hear my opinions and try and try and

93
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,919
Speaker 1: really um give people some thought provoking opinions so that

94
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,760
Speaker 1: the contract, the conversations not just one track minded, you

95
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,719
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And I feel like I've done that.

96
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:12,800
Speaker 1: So it's so funny that you also say it's back

97
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,360
Speaker 1: chat because I had black Chat. Yeah, I thought it

98
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:19,559
Speaker 1: was Berkley. So I'm literally like posting you and people

99
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,360
Speaker 1: are on my Twitter like b K chat. I ain't

100
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,840
Speaker 1: seen that nan one of the motherfuck's in Berkeley, Like,

101
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. I definitely thought it was b K

102
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,359
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Chat. So I'm glad that you kind of corrected

103
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:38,680
Speaker 1: us chat. Okay, So I remembered you because we recently

104
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 1: interviewed Melissa and her Magical Pussy, and you guys were

105
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,800
Speaker 1: ready to get on us because you're like, oh, yeah,

106
00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,880
Speaker 1: been just want dudes have a nicer bills, yeah, and

107
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,920
Speaker 1: much Why else do you listen to the show? So

108
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,160
Speaker 1: you were the person that said is that all? Is

109
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:58,760
Speaker 1: that all? So well? And I was like this nin

110
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,400
Speaker 1: is me. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. That that kind

111
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,400
Speaker 1: of caught me off guard because I was like, yo,

112
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,760
Speaker 1: you're really saying that this is all that you have

113
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,480
Speaker 1: to to give, you know what I mean. It's like

114
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,640
Speaker 1: for me, it was more a question of not so

115
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,279
Speaker 1: much her man right and her man expects from from

116
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,080
Speaker 1: her or or requires or anything like that. It was

117
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:20,200
Speaker 1: more case of is this really like the weight of

118
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,640
Speaker 1: you as a woman? Like that was where I was

119
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,000
Speaker 1: coming from, you know what I mean, because it was like,

120
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,919
Speaker 1: as a woman, like, of course, your pussy is is great,

121
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:34,680
Speaker 1: it's magical, apparently, how mean it much? She she got

122
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,080
Speaker 1: a niggat, right, And I was saying, but at the

123
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,360
Speaker 1: same time, it's like, as a woman, there's so much

124
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,560
Speaker 1: that you'll have to offer that holds so much weight,

125
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,480
Speaker 1: and I feel like in society we generally hold pussy

126
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,640
Speaker 1: on the pedal stool. And it's like, if that's your

127
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,240
Speaker 1: only contributing factor to relationship, how long is this really

128
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,320
Speaker 1: gonna last? That was kind of my mindset, and it

129
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,840
Speaker 1: was like, how are you comfortable with with saying this

130
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,359
Speaker 1: when potentially that could be all that your relationships based

131
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,080
Speaker 1: on them? And I think we dug too much into

132
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,440
Speaker 1: that because we were like, we still don't get it,

133
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,040
Speaker 1: we still don't get it. We still get it and listen,

134
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,480
Speaker 1: it's got to be good. Um. But now you're on

135
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,520
Speaker 1: our show because a new video has come onto b

136
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,440
Speaker 1: K Chat where you came out as trans to your panel,

137
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,600
Speaker 1: I was curious, did you before you auditioned, did you

138
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,400
Speaker 1: tell them wow, what made you change? What made you

139
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,360
Speaker 1: decide to come out? So to be honest, it came

140
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,640
Speaker 1: from a selfish place and a selfless place. And I

141
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,960
Speaker 1: say that in a sense of coming from London, it's

142
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,280
Speaker 1: evident that I'm known in a sense, you know what

143
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,600
Speaker 1: I mean? Like I've been to school with people, I've

144
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,200
Speaker 1: been to college with people, I've worked with people. There's

145
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,960
Speaker 1: gonna be for me. It was like I didn't want

146
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,120
Speaker 1: anyone to feel like they held weight over me, like

147
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,120
Speaker 1: they was going to be the puppet master to my

148
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,600
Speaker 1: life and my story and be trying to out me,

149
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like on social media, be like,

150
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,960
Speaker 1: oh I know him, he used to be. I didn't

151
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,720
Speaker 1: want anyone to feel like they had that power over me.

152
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,520
Speaker 1: So that was the self because of real they would

153
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,720
Speaker 1: have never knew. No, I would never know. But we

154
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,680
Speaker 1: we want to get really deep into the discussion of

155
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,960
Speaker 1: you being a trans man and that that's the correct terminology.

156
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,320
Speaker 1: So we're gonna get into the trans man discussion. But

157
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,680
Speaker 1: prior to that, we kind of like to break the

158
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:19,600
Speaker 1: ice with I guess and kind of you know, so

159
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,600
Speaker 1: I adn't even questions. I don't even have your oh girl,

160
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,520
Speaker 1: I pass it because I got some good ones. Um So,

161
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,040
Speaker 1: what we like to do with our guests when they

162
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 1: come on the show is we like to play either

163
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,440
Speaker 1: this or that, or have you ever? And I decided

164
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,760
Speaker 1: to do this or that with you because I think

165
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,959
Speaker 1: that would be, you know, very telling. Um So I'm

166
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:40,000
Speaker 1: gonna start off fairly simple. Okay, So would you rather

167
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,199
Speaker 1: your parents walk in on your masturbating or walk in

168
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:52,080
Speaker 1: on your parents, masturbait. We looked like she's thinking so hard.

169
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,959
Speaker 1: Right now, my mom's walked in. She's walked in on you.

170
00:08:55,520 --> 00:09:01,400
Speaker 1: What would you rather do? Like, I prefer them to

171
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,240
Speaker 1: walk in on me. You prefer them because you're always

172
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,920
Speaker 1: getting caught doing ship right. And it's like as a parent,

173
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,080
Speaker 1: as a parent when you have a child, Like as

174
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 1: much as you don't ever expect to walk in on

175
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,920
Speaker 1: your child master being as a parent, you know that

176
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,160
Speaker 1: there's going to be certain things that you walk into

177
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,439
Speaker 1: with your child, you know what I'm saying. Whereas as

178
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:20,960
Speaker 1: a child, you don't ever think that you're gonna walk

179
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,719
Speaker 1: in on your parents. Oh my god, I walked into

180
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:30,800
Speaker 1: my mom jerking my dad off. One I was like

181
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,760
Speaker 1: eleven years old. I remember calling our first name. I

182
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,800
Speaker 1: said Jewel, good night. I would die. So this is

183
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,840
Speaker 1: another one. This is rather funny. So would you rather

184
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,880
Speaker 1: have sex with someone who never showers or someone who

185
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:51,240
Speaker 1: never brushes their teeth? Both bed? Yeah, that's fun. If

186
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,599
Speaker 1: I smote the nanny on it? Wait you bend the

187
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:58,800
Speaker 1: die over? Yeah? Would you just said? Oh okay, but

188
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,160
Speaker 1: like think about it, you. I'm sure everyone slept with

189
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:05,440
Speaker 1: someone they've never kissed exactly right, A lot of nigga

190
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:14,000
Speaker 1: my nose stuff up right now? Okay? And then would

191
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,880
Speaker 1: you rather date someone who refuses to cuddle or who

192
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,960
Speaker 1: refuses to go down on? You? Refused to go down? Really?

193
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,440
Speaker 1: That was so fast? I really like coming. I got

194
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:31,840
Speaker 1: a dog, I could get a teddy, but listen, I

195
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,720
Speaker 1: could get what's it called an electrical blanket that feels

196
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:39,520
Speaker 1: like a caudle? No, I guess here we go the

197
00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,400
Speaker 1: minute the man in the room is sucking saying, I,

198
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:46,280
Speaker 1: of course, just let me get that. Okay, and I

199
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,000
Speaker 1: have one more. This is one that I'd like. You know,

200
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,080
Speaker 1: either both of you gotta answer. Would you rather have

201
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:56,040
Speaker 1: sex in front of your closest friends or have sex

202
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,920
Speaker 1: on a video with your face blurred out but circulated

203
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:04,880
Speaker 1: online video? How? No, you don't have to. You don't

204
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,120
Speaker 1: know what you gotta wear. You ask my friends to

205
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,600
Speaker 1: watch me. I'm not gonna lie beat in front of

206
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,720
Speaker 1: my friends. So you beat off in front of your

207
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,560
Speaker 1: friend in front of one of my friends that they

208
00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:15,160
Speaker 1: walked in and they wasn't I didn't stop, and I

209
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,760
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, cool, Oh, I know that's right. I

210
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,520
Speaker 1: want all of my friends to see me first. You

211
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,400
Speaker 1: know you don't know my about short school to get

212
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:32,560
Speaker 1: me let me come back. Okay, well, I'm glad to

213
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,520
Speaker 1: see we're all laughing. Now what else we like to

214
00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,480
Speaker 1: do on our weekly shows. I'm not sure if you listen,

215
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 1: but we have kinks of the weeks, week of the week,

216
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 1: weeks not weeks. You have it? Um, you want me

217
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,800
Speaker 1: to read it? Yeah? I like the one you had

218
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:51,280
Speaker 1: because it's gross. Which one? Oh? That one? I'm not

219
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,240
Speaker 1: gonna lie in screenshot at one. So we're gonna go

220
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:57,080
Speaker 1: with sorts. Okay, Well, I guess that this is really

221
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 1: um odds at galma tophilia. I want to say it

222
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,480
Speaker 1: like I'm not retarded atmaphilia. There we go. I say

223
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:22,359
Speaker 1: it like a mataphilia. I feel like a Wikipedia out metaphilia.

224
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:27,119
Speaker 1: It's a paraphilia in which a person gets aroused by dolls, statues,

225
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,719
Speaker 1: and mannequins. I watch the document or nothing. Did you

226
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 1: see the guy in love with his car? Dude? People

227
00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,920
Speaker 1: really fall in love with things. So anyway, you know,

228
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,360
Speaker 1: anytime there's a kink, they're always weird. I try to

229
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,480
Speaker 1: put myself in that person's shoes. I think I feel

230
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:48,800
Speaker 1: like that about my bead. Wait, I don't get aroused

231
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,679
Speaker 1: by it, but like I get really turned on at

232
00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,080
Speaker 1: the idea of going to bed. I'm excited to go

233
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,000
Speaker 1: home to my bed. I feel like I'm in love

234
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,480
Speaker 1: with it. See, I don't know, So I'm gonna admit

235
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:06,200
Speaker 1: something I probably shouldn't, but it doesn't matter. I was young, Okay,

236
00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:10,680
Speaker 1: so before I started having sex, Like I had this

237
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:16,080
Speaker 1: big teddy bear that I did. We all used are

238
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:21,120
Speaker 1: stuffed animals. I didn't even have to. Well, you never hunched,

239
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,880
Speaker 1: so you used to hunch the edge of your bed

240
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,080
Speaker 1: and I used to hunch this big stuffed animals. So

241
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,120
Speaker 1: you've never hunched anything that wasn't a post yourself again,

242
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:34,760
Speaker 1: because I feel like a little kid does that. I

243
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,760
Speaker 1: like really used to like grind, Like I used to

244
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,160
Speaker 1: ride the hell out of my fucking teddy bear growing up,

245
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:44,240
Speaker 1: and I proba, I'm not gonna lie. It used to

246
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,040
Speaker 1: make my pussy really wet. And I was like probably

247
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,520
Speaker 1: seven or eight or nine, really fucking the shot out

248
00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,120
Speaker 1: of my teddy bear. And so when when you said

249
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 1: that we were going to have this as a king,

250
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,760
Speaker 1: I was like, bro fucking statues. But I'm not gonna lie.

251
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,400
Speaker 1: There's this big old statue in Columbus Circle and it's

252
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,680
Speaker 1: a big old it's a super Columbus naked. But no,

253
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,720
Speaker 1: that's not the one with Dick showing. I'm talking about

254
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,760
Speaker 1: the mall where you have the big guy and it's

255
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 1: like a and I just like to look at the

256
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,199
Speaker 1: penis on the statue. I think it's you know, I'm

257
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 1: not by it now, I'm not turning on it, but

258
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:20,240
Speaker 1: I was turned on by rubbing my goddamn um. Honestly,

259
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,080
Speaker 1: I could have it on anything. I've been doing this

260
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,840
Speaker 1: new thing with lover voice since he got home, so like,

261
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 1: you know, you'd be sucking his knee. No, but you

262
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,440
Speaker 1: know how like when you with somebody, you already know

263
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 1: if you wanted to be long sex, it can but

264
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,120
Speaker 1: could also be very short. Yep, we could like five minutes.

265
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,040
Speaker 1: So now I think he'd just be ready to come

266
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,960
Speaker 1: and go to bed. So like before we're about to,

267
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,680
Speaker 1: he'll go down on me and I'll get on top

268
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,360
Speaker 1: of him, and then he kind of just lets me

269
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,480
Speaker 1: sit on his chest for a little bit while we

270
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,240
Speaker 1: make out, or like on his stomach, and I come

271
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,120
Speaker 1: like that bitch rubbing on like just as long as

272
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,040
Speaker 1: like clip feel a little bit of dick. It's like

273
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,080
Speaker 1: a tease and it's kind of high. Is that weird? Okay, No,

274
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,480
Speaker 1: that's not weird. That makes sense. It's not a statue,

275
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:02,320
Speaker 1: but I mean it's a it's a not a option stuff.

276
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,360
Speaker 1: On the documentary you said people like had arousals from

277
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 1: their cars through different objects and the statues, well, the

278
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,440
Speaker 1: statue one when I saw enough you saw this one

279
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 1: where the guy was in love with the doll um

280
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,040
Speaker 1: it was a live doll. They pay like a thousand

281
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,400
Speaker 1: dollars and no, no, no, not the thousand, probably way more.

282
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:24,280
Speaker 1: They're very heavy. He would put it on I see.

283
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,880
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm talking about one where like they put

284
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,280
Speaker 1: on these outfits. They spend mad money for it, and

285
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,560
Speaker 1: it's like a doll literally like they put it on

286
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,440
Speaker 1: and it looks like a real life walking doll and

287
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 1: that's their thing like that. I just see people that

288
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,320
Speaker 1: are partners with dolls, and I heard a guy would

289
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,160
Speaker 1: be like, I don't want to go out in the

290
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,400
Speaker 1: real world and just you know, meet people and have

291
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,920
Speaker 1: to deal with them. Now, these dolls have actually seen

292
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 1: in the Museum of Sex. I think it's and their

293
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:53,120
Speaker 1: eyes move and like the mouth is like softer. I

294
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,680
Speaker 1: think one of the dolls and there's twenty dollars that's

295
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:59,120
Speaker 1: in the skin feels real. He changes her clothes. He's like, oh,

296
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,240
Speaker 1: she likes to wear pain. So I guess for the listeners,

297
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,960
Speaker 1: I do want you guys to know that this is

298
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 1: not the same as a blow up doll or sex

299
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,640
Speaker 1: toys or anything like that. This is really an affixiation

300
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:16,080
Speaker 1: with statues and option of people dolls. Really, yeah, we

301
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,160
Speaker 1: do not even blow up dolls, man, like those real livings.

302
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,760
Speaker 1: Guys that are listening, I'm gonna find these porns for you.

303
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:27,160
Speaker 1: Even since Twitter allows pretty much everything, Twitter is blocking

304
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 1: out like, oh my god, I hope no one is

305
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 1: looking at my phone because it's mad Dicks bron the light,

306
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,880
Speaker 1: mad din on the light. Because I'm a whole all

307
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,360
Speaker 1: day every day. I don't know who this is. Okay,

308
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,440
Speaker 1: it's a bill collector, so okay, um, and I think

309
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 1: that's kind of We're gonna get into our questions, but

310
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna lie, I said my disclaimer. I'm

311
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,920
Speaker 1: gonna let we the start off nice until I get

312
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,480
Speaker 1: into the questions that are probably on everybody's mother s mind.

313
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,760
Speaker 1: So go ahead and say that the question to get

314
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,560
Speaker 1: this started. But I want to know, Um, how do

315
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 1: you describe yourself? Are you? Hey, you're a straight chance

316
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,119
Speaker 1: in it man? Are you? Because like people don't know?

317
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 1: So yeah, I describe myself. I guess as a black

318
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 1: straight man. Um, I guess for the sake of politics

319
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 1: and being politically correct, I have to throw in trends.

320
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,920
Speaker 1: For a long time, I didn't, and that was because

321
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,280
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be identified as I didn't want to.

322
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,640
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be put into a yet another box.

323
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,000
Speaker 1: I don't have to, however, and a lot of terms

324
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:43,200
Speaker 1: of raising awareness I feel like I have. That's that's

325
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 1: the selfless part of me. I have to because there's

326
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:49,399
Speaker 1: so many other little boys and girls that feel the

327
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,720
Speaker 1: same way that I did as a child and didn't

328
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 1: have an adult to identify with, or an adult to

329
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 1: to have these kinds of discussions with. Didn't have anyone

330
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,199
Speaker 1: around him that was raising awareness in regards to what

331
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,000
Speaker 1: it's like to be trans and the trials and relations

332
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,120
Speaker 1: of being a young black or brown or person of color.

333
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? That identifies as trend. So

334
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,239
Speaker 1: I feel like it's very important for me and now

335
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 1: as an adult, to be the adult that I needed

336
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 1: as a child. So you said that no one, um

337
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,439
Speaker 1: like a lot of people are listening and young adults

338
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 1: don't understand what it's like to go through this. So

339
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 1: can you explain how it was that you felt as

340
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,360
Speaker 1: a child. Well, what you were born? Yeah, you were

341
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 1: born a female, correct, What was it like growing and

342
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 1: how did you deal with the trans how? Yeah, what

343
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 1: prompted you to transition? And I'm going to start with

344
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 1: your question first, which was age. I was eight years

345
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 1: old when I was first attracted to another female. So

346
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 1: not even when you know you were the wrong girl, No,

347
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,680
Speaker 1: I had no idea at that point. All that I

348
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,440
Speaker 1: knew was that the boys and girls playing kiss chase

349
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,679
Speaker 1: in the playground, and I went on being kissed or

350
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 1: chased by no guy we're fighting from like what do

351
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 1: you mean? You know what I mean? But I knew

352
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,399
Speaker 1: that I was attracted to a female, and for me,

353
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 1: it was like I couldn't comprehend it because I grew

354
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 1: up in a in a in a home where my

355
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 1: mom was with my stepdad at the time, had been

356
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 1: for years, and my older brother, who six years older

357
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:19,800
Speaker 1: than me, had only ever been with females. Females. That's good, ROMI.

358
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 1: So I had never seen any interaction between any anyone

359
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,679
Speaker 1: else other than males and females. So what city did

360
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:32,360
Speaker 1: you grow up in? London? Okay? Okay? Now I felt

361
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,560
Speaker 1: like London was progressive? Was it not? How do you

362
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 1: by the way six? Um? So at that time, London

363
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 1: is very progressive. London is very similar to New York

364
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 1: and in various senses. Um, it's very diverse, and yes,

365
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 1: it is very progressive. Um. However, back in those days,

366
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 1: there wasn't that like look look even here now in

367
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: the in the state's the same, even in the nineties.

368
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 1: We're just now progressing to where we can even have

369
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 1: this converse. There's still going to be something that do say.

370
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 1: And it is where it is, and this is where

371
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 1: this Conversations like this are very important to be heard. UM.

372
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 1: But but then and and also it depends on what

373
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 1: area you grow up. And I'm sure you guys are

374
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 1: aware of this. In New York. If you grew up

375
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 1: in a certain area in New York, there's certain things

376
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 1: that you're gonna be exposed to. UM. And there certain

377
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,160
Speaker 1: things that you're you're definitely not going to be exposed

378
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 1: to you, you you know what I mean? And that was

379
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 1: very much so high. It was where I was living.

380
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 1: I grew up in a hood essentially speaking, and what

381
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,679
Speaker 1: I was aware of and what I was exposed to

382
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: um wasn't anything close to the LGBTQ community. UM. In fact,

383
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 1: in terms of my friends at that moment in time,

384
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 1: you know, if we would even see anything like that,

385
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,479
Speaker 1: and even me, like I was, I was a product

386
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 1: of my environment. If you could see anything like a

387
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 1: gamel was like, oh you're batty boy and what I'm saying.

388
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 1: And I'm from the Caribbean. Also my family is from

389
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,360
Speaker 1: the Caribbean. So that was a big influence. Even after

390
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: the music bashment, a lot of bashment is that. So

391
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:06,439
Speaker 1: now that's interesting because I'm like super curious because you

392
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 1: mentioned actually after Mike that you just said you were

393
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: from the hood, and you were like, you know, this

394
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,679
Speaker 1: is not only culture, but race and race influences culture.

395
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: You think the black community, I think that the black

396
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 1: community is in this unfortunate bubble exactly that the word

397
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 1: real my mouth, in this bubble where they have this

398
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:32,200
Speaker 1: um forced concept that it doesn't exist, that the LGBTQ

399
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 1: community does not exist in the Black community. And it's

400
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: like no, like first and foremost, but all of those

401
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 1: guys out there that are screaming Black lives matter, you

402
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 1: only need to understand that Black Lives Matter was created

403
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:48,120
Speaker 1: by queer and gay folks that identified with the LGBTQ community,

404
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So you can't be out

405
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 1: here screaming Black lives matter but not accepting the fact

406
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,399
Speaker 1: that all black lives matter. And that doesn't matter how

407
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 1: you identify it, you know what I mean. It doesn't

408
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: matter whether you're part of the or GBTQ community or not.

409
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 1: You are you you're screaming that you're part of this

410
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: movement and that you want to raise awareness for this

411
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,640
Speaker 1: movement and you want justice for this movement, But yet

412
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 1: you're not accepting everyone in the whole entity. You know,

413
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 1: you think that's a masculinity issue, Like when talking about

414
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 1: toxic masculinity, do you think that the black community has

415
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: a masculinity issue? And it's like, I don't know. I

416
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: think that's a that's a that plays a huge part,

417
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 1: but on a bigger scale, I think it's about awareness.

418
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: Now you look at the media. The media plays a

419
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: big part in what we understand and what we're exposed to.

420
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 1: If you only ever see white folks. Actually, Like, one

421
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: of my questions is for you is how do you

422
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: feel about Calin I mean as a as a white transmant. Well,

423
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: then that would be a transferment transforment, correct, So going

424
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: from a male to a female would be considered a

425
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 1: trans woman. How do you feel about the I guess

426
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 1: the attention that she's got, not even that, but she's

427
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: like the face, well, we know she's not people that

428
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,600
Speaker 1: I feel like every anybody that's down. No, she's not.

429
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: But and that goes back to the racial there's a

430
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: conversation and part of things because when you check it,

431
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, everyone has everyone gets

432
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,920
Speaker 1: to a point in life where they find themselves and

433
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 1: it doesn't. Age is not a factor in this. We can't.

434
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 1: People are looking at it like, oh, but she she's

435
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: had kids and being married and and you know she

436
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: was living her life as a man for so long.

437
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: What made her do it? Now? That's that's not that's

438
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: neither here nor there. I agree with you on that one.

439
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 1: A lot of people think that it's bullshit. I didn't.

440
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: I think it's real. It's real. You find, like everyone

441
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 1: has their points in their life where you find yourself

442
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 1: and age. Age isn't a factor in that, you know

443
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, you find your authentic self and

444
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 1: you want to live your authentic truth whenever you feel

445
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: ready to do so. Whether that means that now society

446
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 1: has become more progressive and opened the door for you

447
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,719
Speaker 1: to be able to do so, whether you're you're more

448
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: accepting of yourself, you've done more research, whatever it may be.

449
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: That's even like for me, age isn't a factor. The

450
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: problem I have is that she's not the first trans

451
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 1: woman right ever. Right in fact, like there are other

452
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 1: trans women of color out there that have been out

453
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 1: there that have been advocating hard for for for trans

454
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 1: folks of color that have never had Janet mock Domain

455
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 1: was saying like, I can't tell you this is not

456
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 1: a beautiful when I was this podcast, Like I can't

457
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 1: tell you, like there's been people that's been doing it,

458
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: so it's it's just for me. It's just like, now

459
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 1: you've got this white woman of you know that's got

460
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: somewhere well, we know that that's standard white I guess, right, woman,

461
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 1: as long as you white, you've got that. You know,

462
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 1: people have to you know, learn to understand that. And

463
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 1: but anyway, that's a whole different conversation. But um, you've now,

464
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: I've got this white woman that's come from money, that

465
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 1: holds some form of power in the social um in

466
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: a in a social like economic situation, you know what

467
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 1: I mean. And all of a sudden, it's like all

468
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: the media is just focused on on her. And that's cool,

469
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, because you're living your truth and

470
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like you've got the platform

471
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: to somewhat be an advocate for it. But that to me,

472
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: But little every other woman of color that's been out

473
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 1: here doing this, you know what I mean, And I'm

474
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: still not today getting the recognition that they should be getting.

475
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: And that goes back to the media and propaganda feeding

476
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 1: us looking at one of that, right, Well, I really

477
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: enjoy that we're even discussing the progression that we have

478
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 1: been made. But what I really want to do is

479
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: get back to your story. So when eight he realized

480
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 1: you liked women, at what was the next phase, Um

481
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 1: that you feel like that you went through through your

482
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: transition so you realize I'm different. I don't like the

483
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: opposite sex. What was the next phase? The next phase

484
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: for me was puby pubes, impub pubs. I mean I

485
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: was like pubes. Okay, puberty hits you canybe hit me,

486
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 1: and it was like, oh my gosh, like this is

487
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 1: not my body anymore, you know what I mean? Like

488
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: for a long time for me, gender and sex because

489
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: sex and gender two completely different things. Mind. I'm sorry

490
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: this segway, but I do want people to understand that

491
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,880
Speaker 1: sexual orientation and gender identity. So sexual orientation is one

492
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: thing completely. Sexual orientation is who you're attracted to, what

493
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: you're attracted to. Gender identity. Gender identity is a mental thing.

494
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 1: It's whether you are. It's how you identify in social circles.

495
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: So whether you identify as a man in society right

496
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 1: and then? And then sex is in terms of anatomy,

497
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 1: and that's what makes you a straight man. No, because

498
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: you identify yourself that way. Yes, But look, sex is

499
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: so you was born, he was born a male or female.

500
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:10,880
Speaker 1: That's six. Gender is man and woman. Ah, so sex

501
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: gender sexual you have female, so you have sex gender sexuality.

502
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 1: Why people went in on us for saying that women

503
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: are female. Probably Yeah, this is that conversation that we

504
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:24,959
Speaker 1: had with Sam White where everyone was like, how can

505
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: y'all know know the difference? Which excuse me, So let

506
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 1: me break this down for a listeners, because you did

507
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: a great job. So sex is male or female, gender

508
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: is man or woman, and in sexuality is what you're

509
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 1: attracted is attraction? Okay, exactly. Good to know. Yeah, because

510
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: we clearly was like, nigga, female woman, what you're talking about? Like,

511
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm like what you're still call a female? We really

512
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: didn't understand. Okay. So during puberty is when you realize

513
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 1: you were identifying you want to identify with another gender.

514
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: You didn't like that your voice was changed, Well, no,

515
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: look I'm looking at you like a man. I'm like

516
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 1: your voice was changing. No, you're a female. So you

517
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: ain't like that you started bleeding out your vagina basically,

518
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: like I lightened none of that saying like pube was

519
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 1: definitely a realization for me that came out a young

520
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 1: came out twelve, um. So for me, I was still

521
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: at a point my central orientation was still women, that's

522
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 1: the females um. But my gender did not align with

523
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: my with my sex with what you were looking exactly

524
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:31,959
Speaker 1: the question like, uh so, and don't take this wrong way.

525
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 1: It's because it's why I wanted you want here so badly.

526
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: I sent your picture to some friends, was like, I'm

527
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: so excited and they're like what, but no fucking way.

528
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: I was curious to know have you always had that look?

529
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: Had you always had you been in drogyn this because

530
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: like so a lot of people don't transition this like

531
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: you look like a straightening into me. I mean, I'll

532
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: just saying no offense. I told you I don't want

533
00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: to and people don't say things like but you look

534
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: like right and for yes, I have always looked this way.

535
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: Um in terms of like facial hair and stuff like that. Yeah,

536
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: of course, like we're gonna get into that right now.

537
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: But you've always had no shape November okay, And so

538
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: daring back back to the puberty standpoint, so he started

539
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: getting teddies at this point where you hiding your breast?

540
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: Were you hiding the parts that automatically come with with

541
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: being a woman. Yeah, And at this point I was

542
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: hiding that part of my identity, you know what I mean?

543
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 1: And and also because I've always looked this way and

544
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: presented this way. Females was automatically would automatically assume that

545
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: I was a guy. Oh, they didn't question where I

546
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: was a girl because you had your hair cut, you

547
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 1: addressed at way I had. But then you know you're young, um,

548
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 1: so you know, um, having a deep voice and and

549
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 1: and having facial hair wasn't the thing. I'm younger that stage.

550
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: You're like a little bit. So I'm imagining a little

551
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: bit right now because I was killed. I mean, and

552
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 1: you know they all say, you know, like little mama,

553
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 1: because it's like you fluctuate what did your family think?

554
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: Because I feel like people the scariest thing to do

555
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: is come out to your friends and family like where

556
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: they support it. It took me a very long time

557
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: to come out to my to my family. To be honest,

558
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 1: I'm my friends, like I like my mom. One thing

559
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 1: that I'm never gonna forget. My mom wishes I would,

560
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 1: but I can't get stuck with me because from a

561
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 1: very young age, you know, your mom buys your clothes.

562
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: You don't really get much of a choice. So I

563
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 1: don't know abou anyone else, but we don't have job.

564
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 1: I didn't really get much of a choice, but my

565
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 1: mom would always kind of let me choose one or

566
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: two things, and I choose like attract suit kicks, the

567
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: baggage jeans or something, you know what I mean. And

568
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 1: I would wear that like all the time, and my

569
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 1: mom would be like, why are you wearing that? Where

570
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: something else? You know what I mean? And this is

571
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: this is like under the age of ten, you know

572
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I'll just be the an't going

573
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: out to play. I feel comfortable. And I was very

574
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: active like I was. I was. I participated in a

575
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: lot of sports. Um, I was always out playing well guys,

576
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So like in that sense,

577
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: I was that was my excuse. Oh I'm going not

578
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: to play football. I'm going not to play basketball, so

579
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 1: I can't be wearing you know, the type dresses and

580
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 1: the skirts, you know what I mean. But for a

581
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: long time, my mom used to say to me, like,

582
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: you know, do you want me to get your sex change.

583
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: It's like you want me to you know, It's like

584
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: you got me working out here to say about all

585
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: my money to pay for a sex chafee. And at

586
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: that age, I didn't even know what that what that

587
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 1: man if I had, I would have went to my

588
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: mom and been like, yes, that's what I wanted, absolutely

589
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: pleased tomorrow. And so now you've hit here ready high school.

590
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 1: High school is where I feel like a lot of us,

591
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: um not only judging were now then yeah, we're going

592
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: into adulthood and we're starting to have sex. Um we

593
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 1: were early like. But so transition into high school? Were

594
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: you picked on where you like? Did people understand where

595
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 1: you were coming from? So? And also at this point

596
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 1: we were looking at pictures on your Instagram and I

597
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: made the reference again, shoot me if I'm wrong. He

598
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:20,479
Speaker 1: looked like a stud um and so we accept studs,

599
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: I feel like with no problem. So is that how

600
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: you identified in high school and then transition past that?

601
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 1: Or explain that for us? So disclaimer to anyone that

602
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: might be listening. For a long period of time, I

603
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: lied to females, Oh oh, this is good, because we

604
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: can't ask this question from the age of about fourteen

605
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 1: to at least sixty. And I would say I au

606
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 1: thirteen at because I was definitely about sixty. I was.

607
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: You know, they would assume and I wouldn't correct them,

608
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And and after some long

609
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: like thinking about my life and and how things panned

610
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: out and my transition thus far. I've got to the

611
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: realization that I feel like that part of me, that

612
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,479
Speaker 1: part of me that was that was lying to females

613
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: and and had this like this, this kind of that

614
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 1: point of deception. I would say, you know what I mean, like,

615
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: I feel like that was me creating an alter ego

616
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: to allow me to be free to identify as who

617
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: I knew I was. But I was start in the

618
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 1: social like in the social struggle of identifying with what

619
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: is socially normal? Do you know what I mean? And

620
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: and so in saying that, I just want to put

621
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: out there, I don't for any young person that's listening,

622
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,480
Speaker 1: whether you identify as trans or where you trying to

623
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: find yourself, Um, I would never want you to do

624
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: that because the backlash that you see, like the the

625
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: hardship that you see the female on the other end

626
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 1: go through. And we were just talking about that. So

627
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 1: he was just saying in a whole bunch of person

628
00:33:56,160 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: because well, you know, I was fingering still eating, but

629
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 1: at this point there wasn't there could have been a

630
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 1: right And so we talked about this on an episode

631
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: with um, James, which is one of these really close friends.

632
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: So James is super liberal, fuck you trans people don't

633
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 1: have to tell you ship blah blah blah. So Mandy

634
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 1: and James got into it because He's like, they don't

635
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: owe you anything. They don't have to tell you about

636
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 1: their genitals. Mandy's like, but I still deserve that. So

637
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: coming back and he said what he said about killing somebody,

638
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 1: I wanted to know from you specifically, do you feel

639
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 1: like it needs to be discussed when it does? How

640
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 1: soon it basically is it your writer? There's because you

641
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: also have the right to be private and that so

642
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 1: that's kind of where our questions aren't like how soon

643
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: a first date, when they get your number, when they

644
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 1: hauler at you. So I don't feel like I need

645
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: to disclose to anyone upon me and the trends. I

646
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: don't feel like that to various reasons because I disagree,

647
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:05,399
Speaker 1: but cool, we can get into that. But I don't

648
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,400
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, at the end of the day,

649
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 1: that's that's that's that's a part of me. And I

650
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:16,320
Speaker 1: feel as though there's various things, not just transition centered,

651
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: but there's various things in people's lives that they don't

652
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 1: reveal upon meeting a person. Why, because where's this going?

653
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: Do I know that it's going anywhere? Why am I

654
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: going to reveal the deep? Why am I going to

655
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 1: reveal some of the deepest parts of me that are

656
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 1: so sacred to me to you? And I don't even

657
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 1: know where this is going this, this may not be

658
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: going anywhere. Why am I investing so much into you?

659
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: And I don't know how much you got invested in me.

660
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: I don't even know if I want to be that

661
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,320
Speaker 1: invested in you yet, you know what I mean? And

662
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: I just feel like this notion, this forced notion that

663
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 1: trans people have to declare it. No, they do not.

664
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: They do not have to declare anything upon meeting someone,

665
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 1: upon a first date with someone. However, however, what I

666
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: will say is it is important to have these kinds

667
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: of discussions prior to intercourse. Oh, of course, that is

668
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: my standpoint on it. And I say that because, as

669
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 1: I said, the hardship that you see females go through

670
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: after finding out maybe and this sense of you took

671
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: something from me, you know what I mean, which you

672
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,439
Speaker 1: took a part of me that perhaps I wasn't ready

673
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: to give you I didn't want to give you, and

674
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: it's it's that deception, you know what I mean. And

675
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: I feel like it's important before you you're intimate with

676
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 1: someone on that level, you give them the option to

677
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: say whether this is what they want, you know what

678
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: I mean. And a lot of transfolk might be listening

679
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: to me, and I feel like I'm not really rooting

680
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 1: for the team kind of thing because you know, at

681
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: the same time, there's a lot of trans folks and

682
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: we have to discuss. This's a lot of transpolks, predominantly

683
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 1: of color, that are being murdered, uh, pretty much every week.

684
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: And I'm glad that you really like your perspective because

685
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: that was the one I had. I would want someone

686
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: to tell me before sex, but I don't feel like

687
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 1: they owe me that. No, if I feel like I'm

688
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 1: going on a date with a man, I am. I mean,

689
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 1: the only thing that I thinks, and it's just like

690
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: if you had. I hate comparing it to this, but

691
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: something to tell during sex is if you've got an

692
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: STD right, I don't need to know that when I

693
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: meet you or a dinner and we it's crazy because

694
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 1: we had um Ella who has her pies and she

695
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 1: came out openly and was like a couple of guys

696
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 1: who she has met on the first time, She's like, hey,

697
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 1: I have herpes. I'm known as the Herpe's girl. You know.

698
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: Well she's got ted talks about it. She has ted

699
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: talks about it. Yeah, but that was something I think

700
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: that's different, like, oh, how's the calumari? Good? I got

701
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: down here? See, I don't know. To me, that's something

702
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 1: that's private, like just about like just like living with HIV,

703
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: which part of being in the LGBT community. This this

704
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 1: happens and I know about it. No, you don't need

705
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: to tell someone when you meet them your status in

706
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 1: that way because you haven't sucked them yet and you

707
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: don't know if you want to, and it's something that's

708
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: so revealing in private. I think that a lot more

709
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: people on the other shot side should be sensitive to that.

710
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: If you had a first day and see, to me,

711
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: I'll sit here and break it down this way. I

712
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: feel like the same way with with progress, we're learning

713
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: to be sensitive to you know, you your transition, how

714
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,959
Speaker 1: you identify. I feel like as a trans man trans woman,

715
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: you also need to be sensitive to the heterosexuals who

716
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: a are not fully comfortable with with what you're going through.

717
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: They don't understand, they don't know how to respond to it.

718
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: And with the hyper masculinity and men women are a

719
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 1: little different. I feel like it may be easier for you,

720
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: but on the other end of the spectrum, men have

721
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: a different idea. We had an engineering here before, and

722
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 1: that was his very first question, like, um, when when

723
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: when do they tell me that he was a nigga

724
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 1: at one point? And this is again from a trans woman,

725
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: but it's just like for straight people, I feel like

726
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: you need to have the respect and be just as

727
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: sensitive to kind of letting them in. What would be

728
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: your ideal situation He just said when meeting somebody, which

729
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 1: if you do date, we're sitting here someone's number in

730
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 1: the club, do you agree with that party? He doesn't

731
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 1: have to you can get getting someone's number, But I'm

732
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: comfortable with at the end of date one, if we're

733
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 1: going on a second date, that means you're progressing to

734
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: me as a female like myna. We're not going on

735
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 1: another day if I don't want to see you. And

736
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: men kind of the same way, if they're not really

737
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 1: digging a female, they're not going to see them. You

738
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 1: need him to tell you that, Like at the end

739
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: of the first day, if we sum or not the

740
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: exact day before, if we're on the phone planning a

741
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: second day, to me, that's progress. To me, we're going

742
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 1: in a direction to see each other more than once.

743
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 1: That's where I draw the line to where, Okay, I

744
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: see us now moving forward one day. Okay, we're meeting

745
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 1: at the end of day one. If we plan to

746
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 1: see each other again, that's when I feel like you

747
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 1: should let me know because as a as a straight person,

748
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: well I'm not even straight, I like, but I'm talking

749
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 1: from my straight people as someone who would be straight

750
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: and may not go both ways or like both, you know,

751
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: I think that that's when you should let them know. Listen,

752
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: I'm this, I've transitioned to this. I'd like to see

753
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 1: you again. What was your What were you going to

754
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: say when you start? What she was saying that because

755
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: you looked at and they looked like I was like, yeah,

756
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 1: what do you not feel like the end of first day?

757
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 1: Do you think that? I feel like it's I feel

758
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 1: like it's when that person's comfortable enough to tell you

759
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:30,720
Speaker 1: that's some bullshit. Yeah, I feel like that that person

760
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 1: should have the space and time too, and that's just

761
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: what if you were missing Wait, wait what? First of all,

762
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 1: this is something that you're not going to find out

763
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: until you see me naked. This is something that you're

764
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,399
Speaker 1: not going to know about me until and it's something

765
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 1: that's like a part of the sexual being that you

766
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: could be attracted to or maybe not want to sleep me.

767
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,360
Speaker 1: For when would you tell somebody you were missing a titty?

768
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: You're sick, you really are, because who picks this ship?

769
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: Because I'm trying. I didn't think of saying, don't titty

770
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna ask maybe on the first day as

771
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 1: a joke you a titty man like like, because if

772
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: he's an ask man, he might not give a funk

773
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 1: about my one titty. So a trance should be like

774
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't and maybe, but I know I wouldn't care,

775
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: and I know you wouldn't know. I have never been

776
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 1: attracted to studs because to me, they still have that

777
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 1: girly like do when they hate that I'm bisexual, Britney grindery.

778
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: But if I've been someone fully transition and they told

779
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 1: me on the date three or four, I might be

780
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: like I mean, I know you're gonna strap up, So

781
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 1: what do I here's fine with them strapping up because

782
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 1: you like both, you like what everybody. But my question

783
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say, No, you gotta strap You sleep

784
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 1: with men, you sleep with women. Yes, I am shocked

785
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 1: that you're telling me if someone you liked by date

786
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 1: three like, that's me. However, I'm saying this because your

787
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: friends with a lot of members of the LGBT could community.

788
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: You you're your that's what your friends are. I'm friends

789
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:06,360
Speaker 1: with a lot of people who aren't. Okay, you know,

790
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: I'm friends with a lot of black people. Okay, I'm

791
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 1: I'm friends with niggas, and my friends a lot of

792
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: them don't swing both ways. A lot of them would

793
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 1: never peg their man. A lot of men that I'm

794
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 1: around are like good good ship from me. So they

795
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: are the little duvalls. Those are a lot of my friends.

796
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: So when I'm speaking, I'm speaking for them. Um of

797
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,320
Speaker 1: course I like men and women, and I identify as bisexual.

798
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: But I'm speaking from them because I'm talking about you, right,

799
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 1: But I'm speaking both of us. Can't speak up for them.

800
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:36,839
Speaker 1: I want to speak up for my friends. That when

801
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: I have these conversations with them. They say the ship

802
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: like Little Duvall said, if I was on a date

803
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:45,360
Speaker 1: and the female with a nigga and that ship like that,

804
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 1: those are my type of friends. So that's why when

805
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 1: I come to you and I ask these questions and

806
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,320
Speaker 1: I say after date one, I'm speaking for for a

807
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 1: lot of people who aren't comfortable with this Conversation's been

808
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: on dates with guys that I've asked if it's ever

809
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 1: happened to the Montendo and you man, I've been out

810
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 1: with Google guy who I went to sex club with.

811
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,320
Speaker 1: He was like, I went on a date. Towards the

812
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: end of the day, she told me and he said

813
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 1: the only kind of clue he had was that she

814
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 1: was like five eleven, which but he said it was

815
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 1: still it's New York everywhere. Um, And I said, how

816
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,320
Speaker 1: did you take it? And he was like, honestly, I

817
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: said he was like a part of me instantly got

818
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 1: mad that I didn't know before, But then I thought

819
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 1: why she couldn't tell me. Then he's like, what the

820
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: fun is she gonna do? Just be like, oh, by

821
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:29,840
Speaker 1: the way, on the ray that like He's like, she

822
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 1: I thought she did it in the right time. Okay,

823
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: so that's cool, and you leave somebody that choice. Not

824
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 1: has any woman ever told you know after you've came

825
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:42,399
Speaker 1: out to them, that's a good question. No, damn your

826
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:46,359
Speaker 1: tongue game was No. No, I don't even think. It's

827
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: not about the tongue games. So you're very very You're

828
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: a handsome man, um, And so I want to get

829
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 1: into that because Okay, you're saying that no one's ever

830
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: turned you down for being a woman. But but listen

831
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 1: to this, so in terms of me, in terms of me,

832
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 1: so I've only heard um, three serious relationships in through

833
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 1: my marriage today. Okay, prior to that, I've been with

834
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 1: with females who perhaps I didn't tell them straight up, um,

835
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 1: and there was how did you get around that? Lights off?

836
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,839
Speaker 1: You know? I had a real good no. But people

837
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: saying that that like, what does that mean? That funny?

838
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 1: Though ain't funny? Definitely worn. So I was, I was,

839
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,320
Speaker 1: I was, I was dating, I was young, I was sixteen,

840
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 1: I was dating a female and she didn't know. I

841
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: used to give her nine months in total, whoa hold up?

842
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 1: Wait for him? About three months in she found out?

843
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 1: How did she find out? Well, there was other people.

844
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 1: There was people in the area that knew me obviously

845
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 1: went to school. Me and word go out and you

846
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: know how it goes. Word is the fastest way to

847
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 1: spread news. So she questioning me, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no,

848
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. The chain shit,

849
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: let me phone the phone. You know, when you get aggy,

850
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 1: make it seem ready, niggas line, you had a down pat.

851
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: So she's like a cool babe. So we had never

852
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: done this oral thing, right remember six D mean she

853
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: ain't never gone down to me. I ain't never gone

854
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 1: down to her. So cool, it's so good. And then

855
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, like she was like, let me give

856
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 1: you a head. So I'm spitting bars and I'm like,

857
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 1: my my wife, my wife, man, you don't need to

858
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 1: do all of that. You get me. I got respected,

859
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: you know that ship two twos. We went out one night,

860
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: I got drunk, went back to a grand's house. I

861
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 1: hope she ain listening, just too yeah, like taco Tuesday.

862
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: No No, I thought like a transition word like like

863
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: to like I don't even know how to translate that

864
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: out here, like two twos like and the next thing next, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

865
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: I was turning Tuesday. It's Wednesday anyway, Okay. So we

866
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 1: went back to her grand's house and and we're chilling

867
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: or whatever, and she's like, I want to keep your head.

868
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,439
Speaker 1: And obviously back then, because I knew that was because

869
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 1: I was with her and she didn't know. I was

870
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: always strapped, like I never I would never go out

871
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 1: in public and not have my strap on because I

872
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,320
Speaker 1: was prepared, like ship might get right here, you know

873
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: what I mean, I'm gonna be ready. So she was like,

874
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 1: let me stuck at dick and I was yack. So

875
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, Oh god, fucking turn

876
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 1: off the lights. She was sing plastic she's doing that thing. No,

877
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 1: obviously I'm not at me all the noise effects. I'm like,

878
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 1: a cool must be about time to bust night at me.

879
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: So I'm like, yeah, I done my thing. She got out.

880
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 1: She was like, she telling like she do you think

881
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking dickhead? You know? When the alcohol just

882
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: just left my system? I was like, I was like what.

883
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 1: She was like, do you think I don't know? Do

884
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: you think I haven't known? Do you think I ever?

885
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,800
Speaker 1: So like a fucking dick I was like, oh shit,

886
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 1: wake up, found quick, wake up, get with it. She

887
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 1: knew the whole time. She she was basically saying that

888
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 1: she had known for a minute and she wanted to

889
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: just and she wanted to rock with me. Her her

890
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: explanation was, my sex was good. Oh so she was

891
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 1: with it. But for me, it was kind of like,

892
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: how do we progress from here? You know what I mean?

893
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: And and she was the first female that even though

894
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 1: she we stayed together after that point, were together nine

895
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 1: months in total, and she she found out, well she

896
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:37,359
Speaker 1: let me know she knew at the three months mark roughly. Um,

897
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 1: but even up to today, she's kind of like, she

898
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: feels like I betrayed her, you know what I mean?

899
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: And I made her question her sexuality up until now.

900
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:46,879
Speaker 1: And that's crazy because that was gonna be my next

901
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,839
Speaker 1: question to you. You've been in three serious relationships, one

902
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: being your wife. Now do they identify as lesbians like

903
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 1: my wife or as in the women that you dealt with,

904
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 1: because even though you identify as a male, you still

905
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: have female parts. So do they do do they like

906
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: women or do they like like how do the people

907
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 1: that you deal with identify? So the two previous partners

908
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: I have been with they one of them doesn't identify

909
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 1: as lesbian. UM. In fact, she she we had been

910
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 1: friends for three years prior to again together and UM,

911
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 1: and she was basically like it was me. She felt

912
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 1: for me as a as a person. I wasn't about

913
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 1: you know, male or female, man or woman. It was

914
00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: the fact that she she was attracted to me as

915
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 1: a person, and we went from there. But then when

916
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: it came down to me telling her that I was,

917
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: I wasn't happy and content as as a female. You know,

918
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: that's kind of when things started going left. She wasn't

919
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: really down for this, for being with a trance, although

920
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: she wasn't really down for also letting her friends and

921
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 1: family too much know that UM she was also with

922
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,879
Speaker 1: Because at that moment time I was identifying as a start,

923
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 1: I was in the social circle and not so I was.

924
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: I was trying to label myself as what society accepted

925
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: exactly what I said at that time, because I was

926
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: eighteen at that point. So you know, we're still to

927
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: more a few years ago when you know, progression wasn't

928
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 1: quite a way it was not um so uh and

929
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:16,320
Speaker 1: then the female before after that storry, UM, I was

930
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: here for four years, and she did identify as a

931
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: lesbian and again the same thing. But but you know,

932
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 1: when it came down to using pronouns and stuff, she

933
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 1: was good with that because I pretty much told her

934
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,800
Speaker 1: from the off, But at the same time, when it

935
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 1: came when when she hit the fan and it was

936
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 1: really time for me to start transition, and she wasn't

937
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 1: really down with it. She couldn't really understandish. That's interesting, yeah,

938
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 1: because she's like, no, for you, I'm curious because I

939
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 1: haven't had a friend that was a transmail and he

940
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: talked about not enjoying women wanting to like his pussy.

941
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:50,760
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't like that. I don't like people

942
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 1: talking to me like that. Like so for her to say, lesbian,

943
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,800
Speaker 1: did you not enjoy because that's the part that she

944
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: liked about it seems especially if she didn't like that

945
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 1: you were transitioning, so because they're not more girl on there,

946
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 1: so I can understand how she was attracted to it,

947
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 1: Like that's it's almost gone. So in terms of like

948
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 1: how she identified, um, that was a problem for me

949
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 1: because her her identifying as a lesbian of course right

950
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:23,320
Speaker 1: meant that she was with a woman and that wasn't me.

951
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: I was. I felt trapped in the in the body

952
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 1: that I had. UM. I felt like nature did this

953
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 1: justice to me. Um And I wasn't comfortable with that

954
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 1: at all. Um. And in terms of like sexual like

955
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: sexual interaction and stuff, there was like back then as

956
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 1: a stud I guess I would be classes are touched

957
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 1: me not Um. Yes, in terms of like you know,

958
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,320
Speaker 1: I can strap up, I can do all that, but

959
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:50,320
Speaker 1: you ain't gonna touch me. There's there's none of that

960
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 1: rabbit playing. I mean, there's none of that dildos and

961
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 1: all that kind of study ain't gonna be doing all

962
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 1: of that on me. And I'm saying so I was

963
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 1: very much so I touched me not. I have a

964
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,720
Speaker 1: question about that. So how do you you get pleasure?

965
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 1: Because I've worn a strap on before and I meant

966
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: I might get wet, but it doesn't make me come.

967
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 1: It doesn't really please me more as it does you know, mentally,

968
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 1: I'm stimulated, but it doesn't really please me. So if

969
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: you're a touch me not or you're you know, how

970
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: do you become how do you get pleasured? You just don't?

971
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: That is that is my pleasure, that's your pleasure. Yeah,

972
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: I think that's a misinception for a lot of people. Yeah,

973
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: we don't because we get in another way exactly. I mean,

974
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: I really like penetration. Okay, they don't need to be tops, don't.

975
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 1: I mean we take it like game and like tops

976
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 1: don't need it. Yeah, but but tops feel the pleasure

977
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 1: of going in a pussy. When you have a strap on,

978
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,240
Speaker 1: you don't feel the pleasure of going inside of the pussy,

979
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:50,680
Speaker 1: but you get the mental stimulation. And I guess in

980
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 1: that sense that's what gives you that that stimulation in

981
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 1: other ways, you know what I mean, Like from time.

982
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 1: For me, it's like a lot of people say, oh,

983
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:05,799
Speaker 1: I'm I'm aroused by the intelligence of another being, right,

984
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 1: Like a lot of people are like that. They're like um,

985
00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:12,919
Speaker 1: saipo sexual sexual um. And that is how they're They're

986
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: turned on by by feeding on for someone else's knowledge

987
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 1: a mind, right, And a lot of people find that weird,

988
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 1: But that's that's a mental thing. It's a mental stimulation

989
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: which stimulates them in other ways. Um. And for me

990
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: it's very much so. Because I do not identify as

991
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 1: a female. I don't want any association to that. So

992
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 1: for me, like penetrating my my wife or you know,

993
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,840
Speaker 1: back in the day, penetrating any woman with with my

994
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 1: strap was enough for me and it still is enough

995
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 1: for me. Okay, And so I want to talk now

996
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,000
Speaker 1: briefly because we're running out of time, unfortunately, I know,

997
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 1: but I do want to ask you now, um as

998
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 1: an adult the transition. I'm not like my nigger. You

999
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:58,880
Speaker 1: look like a straight man. Um. So I want to

1000
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 1: talk about like you facial hair, your voice is rather deep. Um.

1001
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 1: I know my mama got a deep voice, but not

1002
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 1: like this. Um. So, what what is it like to transition?

1003
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 1: What have you gone through? What? What? What do you

1004
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: have to take people you know that don't understand how

1005
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 1: this works? I would love for you to break you

1006
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 1: Like I think you're you're like the epitome of that's

1007
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 1: ready to transition. Like so yeah, like the beard, you have,

1008
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,320
Speaker 1: the voice. What have you had to do to undergo

1009
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: this transition physically? So? Um, in terms of the physical journey,

1010
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: the the you know in this thus far at um

1011
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,360
Speaker 1: in terms of like facial features and well, not so

1012
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 1: much facial feature because my face hasn't really changed, No,

1013
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: I mean like in that sense. By in terms of

1014
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:45,720
Speaker 1: like um, growing hair and voice deepen in or dropping

1015
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: um and weight shift because these these are because you

1016
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 1: have muscles, right, your arms look really like a real

1017
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 1: much like you've always been. To be honest, like before

1018
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,320
Speaker 1: I transition, like when I when I started my journey,

1019
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you a question first, all right, So

1020
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 1: it starts. It goes like you have to go and

1021
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 1: see a therapist first or psychologist first, UM. And then

1022
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 1: once you do that, they this is in England at least,

1023
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 1: and then they will refer you to something called the

1024
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,319
Speaker 1: Gender Identity Clinic. Once they referred you to the gender

1025
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: gender Identity you don't have to see another psychologist in

1026
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 1: in that center. Once you've done that, then they will

1027
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,480
Speaker 1: assess whether you're ready to start your hormone therapy. Hormo

1028
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 1: therapy UM as in physically is UM something called testosterone.

1029
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,479
Speaker 1: We are aware of it. And then for the trans

1030
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,760
Speaker 1: women they're taking a strangers, they will take a students pills.

1031
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:38,360
Speaker 1: I believe, but I can't speak to you heavily on

1032
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 1: that just because I'm for transman. You take yes, it

1033
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily have to be shot straight away. It might

1034
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 1: be a jail for a pill. No, there's no pill

1035
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:52,040
Speaker 1: for testos. It might be a jail you rub it,

1036
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 1: so you rub it in certain places on the body

1037
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 1: and that that seeps into the into the bloodstream, um,

1038
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,400
Speaker 1: the same way those packets, but it's not they're not

1039
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 1: as effective. Um, but they're not as the shots because

1040
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,240
Speaker 1: the shots, uh enter your muscle, and obviously a muscle

1041
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 1: is a quick, fastest way to get through the body. Um.

1042
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 1: Do they have to do you have to do this

1043
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life? Yes, okay, okay, of

1044
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 1: course it's it's you know, um, I don't know if

1045
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 1: it was ten. No, it is for the rest of

1046
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,080
Speaker 1: your life. However, you know, Um, there's certain things that

1047
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 1: are irreversible. Right, so in terms of like my voice hair, um,

1048
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:30,080
Speaker 1: weightshift isn't irreversible. But but there's certain things that are irreversible.

1049
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 1: So they could get for me or anyone, they could

1050
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 1: get to a point in their life where they're like, Okay,

1051
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: I've seen as much physical changes as I could possibly get.

1052
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:41,359
Speaker 1: I'm going to stop here. But if they haven't had

1053
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 1: a hysterect to me yet, they're obviously going to have

1054
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 1: periods after right, right, that's w Yeah, that's so anyone

1055
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:53,799
Speaker 1: any trans mail probably wouldn't stop taking testosterone unless they

1056
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:56,399
Speaker 1: had a hystereict to me, so the testosterone doesn't stop

1057
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 1: the period, but the hystorrect me does. No testosterone doest

1058
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 1: which maybe I need to if you if you stop

1059
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,279
Speaker 1: taking the testosterone and you haven't had a history to me,

1060
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 1: then you all go to have period. Have you had

1061
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 1: a v sectomy? Okay? But to me is just for

1062
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 1: me is okay? I'm sorry? Sorry? Sorry, yes, I mean,

1063
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 1: uh am I wrong? Is that not what it is? Okay?

1064
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 1: So what historrect to me is your warm removed. Must

1065
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 1: sect to me is getting your breast removed, and thus

1066
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 1: sect to me is getting your balls removed. Correct. V

1067
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: Sectomy is balls, right, preach? Yeah, but what sectomy is

1068
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 1: when you eliminate your ball so that you can't get

1069
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 1: that's cutting out they ain't go. No, that have drained

1070
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 1: them that they can't get in a pregnant Yeah. Oh wait,

1071
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 1: I think I'm thinking of neutering when you neuter an animals.

1072
00:56:56,040 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 1: But sectmy is just draining of the sperm, cut the cords, sorry,

1073
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 1: and then must activy is cutting out the tissue. So

1074
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,400
Speaker 1: have you cut out the tissue of your breath? But

1075
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: we to surgery in the community. But yet Okay, okay, wow,

1076
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 1: this is a lot of information. She's just really happy

1077
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 1: because you don't understand, like me and Mandy have actually

1078
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 1: argued on air. My word did you say? I think

1079
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 1: I said training or trailing or trams. So let's talk

1080
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 1: real quick before we go. I want to talk about, Yeah,

1081
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: what are the slurs or things that are offensive to

1082
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: the trans community? Now, she said on our horrible decisions.

1083
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,920
Speaker 1: And I'm not calling you out. I'm taking serious. My

1084
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 1: friends call me. It was like, listen, I need to

1085
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 1: talk to you before you guys do this because Mandy

1086
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 1: just went on and said, we're going to have a

1087
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 1: transgender on Is that not a to me? This is

1088
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 1: my argument. I said, if we were going to have

1089
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 1: a female on a mail on, a escort on, goddamn,

1090
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 1: everything would be a So I don't know how else

1091
00:57:57,440 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 1: I would have said that. I guess because trained to think,

1092
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 1: because I didn't say trans man like, so explain to

1093
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 1: us what what is offensive and what is not. So

1094
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 1: I feel like there's certain things that are definitely perception based, right,

1095
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 1: and for you to say, sorry, what was it you said?

1096
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 1: Tans we're having a transgender on the show. If you

1097
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 1: have any questions in regard to this police sentiment pretty

1098
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 1: much so I don't. I don't know. There's a lot

1099
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 1: of people that probably would say that's derogatory. Um. I

1100
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 1: feel like for someone that probably hasn't been made aware

1101
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: of some of the slurs, I guess I wouldn't take

1102
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:38,120
Speaker 1: defense to that. Perhaps some folks would, And as I said,

1103
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:40,800
Speaker 1: that's perception, right, that's certain things that people are susceptible

1104
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 1: to and a certain things that people aren't. For me personally,

1105
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I personally wouldn't take defense to that. If

1106
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 1: you said tranny, which you know certain of my cast

1107
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 1: members have said, I had to holder at them like

1108
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:53,800
Speaker 1: and be like, yo, you gotta take off your off

1109
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: your Instagram and all that kind of stuff, because that's

1110
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 1: throwing like okay, so training and trainese derrovaty term. It's

1111
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying, it's it's it's just

1112
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:05,160
Speaker 1: on the minds everything that we've we were going through,

1113
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 1: we've been through like now the better word I wanted

1114
00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:10,920
Speaker 1: to ask because it's it's a real men men love it.

1115
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 1: Every when I went to Amsterdam, we got red light

1116
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: blue lights they were saying tea girls and a lot

1117
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 1: of especially I don't know if I'm saying away, but

1118
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: two girls like told me that they have enjoyed like

1119
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 1: I love having a dick like and you know, having

1120
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 1: tips and you know something they enjoy about their body

1121
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 1: and they don't want to change it. Is ta girl

1122
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 1: an okay thing to say? Or what is the proper

1123
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 1: thing to say? Um? From what I'm I can't speak

1124
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:40,439
Speaker 1: too much from that. I don't really like to give

1125
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 1: out false information in terms of like what like. I

1126
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 1: like to speak on what I'm aware of rather than

1127
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 1: gisson because I don't want to be the person that

1128
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:53,880
Speaker 1: um somewhat represents the community and doesn't even know understand

1129
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 1: right And you know, you're you're all gonna be comfortable

1130
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 1: different things. The person that heard it thought a transgender

1131
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 1: wasn't good enough. You are understanding enough to say, okay,

1132
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,600
Speaker 1: well she doesn't know right, and and that's kind of

1133
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 1: what I said. And I just like, even to me, like,

1134
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: I don't know the whole I had a conversation with

1135
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 1: my friend about the the stud the dyke, the things

1136
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 1: that we can say stud but we can't say dyke.

1137
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:18,480
Speaker 1: We could say transgender, but we can't say training. We

1138
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 1: can and it's just like, I don't know all this

1139
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 1: guy damned politically correct now like um, in the UK

1140
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 1: people use that word, and is it I'm not gonna lie.

1141
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 1: The only time that's used this towards white women, really

1142
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:35,680
Speaker 1: it's not. It's not used in the black in the

1143
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 1: black LGBTQ community because we say stud I mean, but

1144
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: here I heard. I couldn't get it off. Okay, Okay,

1145
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 1: So I think it's just I guess it's how people

1146
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:50,760
Speaker 1: receive it as to if it's going to be offensive

1147
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 1: or not, except for the word of course, training. Okay.

1148
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 1: So I guess that's good for our listeners to know.

1149
01:00:55,680 --> 01:01:00,080
Speaker 1: And I haven't heard that word, and I'm like, okay it.

1150
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: I think I'm somebody go off of me about that.

1151
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of learning to do myself, because,

1152
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 1: as I said, I feel like I said off air,

1153
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: I didn't identify with with I didn't want to be

1154
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:12,440
Speaker 1: put in yet another books. I didn't. I didn't for

1155
01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 1: a long time. I didn't want to identify as a

1156
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 1: transmil right. And we talk about labels here. A lot

1157
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 1: felt guilty when you were saying it because I want

1158
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 1: you on so badly because I want people to get it.

1159
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 1: I want people to understand it. And most of our

1160
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:29,920
Speaker 1: listeners are male, which is why this is very important

1161
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:32,320
Speaker 1: to me, because I feel like women are going to

1162
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: be like, oh yeah, I understand it, but men don't,

1163
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 1: and I just want them to. But it's also you know,

1164
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: you just said to me like, I don't need to

1165
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 1: tell someone I identify as a black straight male. I

1166
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 1: don't need a black straight man I don't know. But

1167
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 1: not only that, but then I do feel the guilt

1168
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 1: of asking you to do it because it makes you

1169
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 1: open this thing up. But not only that, I think

1170
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 1: even for our female listeners, they can literally sit here

1171
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 1: and think if I was put in this position, how

1172
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 1: would I respond? Um? And I think that's even good

1173
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 1: with how we talked about where you feel like you

1174
01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 1: should announce um your gender identity as far as dating UM.

1175
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:06,080
Speaker 1: So for different women, like for me, it might not

1176
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,440
Speaker 1: bother me. I like pussy, I do strap on. It's

1177
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:11,360
Speaker 1: all cool. But for the listeners who maybe identify as

1178
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 1: straight straight straight straight straight, just for them to be

1179
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:17,439
Speaker 1: able to listen to this episode and think, how would

1180
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 1: I respond if I was put into this, you know,

1181
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 1: into a day where where it's true, it's private, sacred.

1182
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, there's a lot of

1183
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 1: things in life that we are not going to be

1184
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:31,560
Speaker 1: able to understand. Right, that's just impossible, And I get that.

1185
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 1: But at the same time, like there's this common denominat

1186
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 1: I believe between all humans which kind of um allows

1187
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 1: us to to feel able and liberate and expressing ourselves,

1188
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: which is just room for respect. And and at the

1189
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 1: end of the day, you're not understanding your person's decisions

1190
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 1: or choices in life, is okay as long as you

1191
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 1: can still respect that person for living their authentic life

1192
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:55,960
Speaker 1: and and and being the authentic self. UM. I don't

1193
01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 1: feel like any trans person or person that identifies as

1194
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 1: trans is anyone anything in terms of an explanation as

1195
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:05,280
Speaker 1: to why they're transitioning. Um, But I do feel like

1196
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:08,560
Speaker 1: it is important to have these kinds of conversations because

1197
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 1: people that have identified as transgender, non binary, queer, it's

1198
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:16,600
Speaker 1: not a new wave. It's not this new thing that's

1199
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 1: just happening like, oh my god tomorrow. It's not it's

1200
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 1: all bullshit. Like my grandfather was trans. I was born

1201
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 1: in San France, a lot of people don't know that.

1202
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 1: My mom she passed. But yeah, you know what I mean.

1203
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:35,959
Speaker 1: In San Francisco gay and LGBT community is so open

1204
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 1: and uh, maybe that's why I'm so used to it.

1205
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 1: But I mean I knew that in history. It's documented

1206
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 1: in ancient history, kings and queens in Egypt identified as

1207
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,600
Speaker 1: trans and non binary, you know what I'm saying. So

1208
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:53,680
Speaker 1: that's what I mean. This is not new. It's just that, um,

1209
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,960
Speaker 1: I feel like we're talking about it. We're more some

1210
01:03:57,120 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 1: of us are more open with with education in others.

1211
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 1: Um and there is more resources available to educate others.

1212
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: Um And I feel like media and technology plays a

1213
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:12,440
Speaker 1: big part in that and bringing that to the forefront. UM.

1214
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 1: But that's needless to say that, Like this isn't something new,

1215
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like people are like, oh

1216
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:24,439
Speaker 1: my god, the world's gonna end all these transgender people

1217
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:28,000
Speaker 1: pack out what they wanted. That's too much. Yea and

1218
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:31,479
Speaker 1: n that's a great headline the other day that said

1219
01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:35,760
Speaker 1: where are these imaginary rapists coming from? That people keep saying,

1220
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:41,160
Speaker 1: there's always I don't like what because the bathroom argument

1221
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:44,440
Speaker 1: is that somebody's going to go in there and rape

1222
01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 1: and rape you. Yeah, it's just like if someone wants

1223
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 1: to go in the bathroom emery are in fact, I

1224
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 1: think that's it's that that's really really stupid because at

1225
01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,439
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you've got, as I said,

1226
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:05,080
Speaker 1: I brought up briefly, there are transgender folks being murdered weekly.

1227
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 1: We are. There's twenty five today that have been murdered

1228
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 1: this year alone, predominantly of color and predominantly trans women.

1229
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 1: And if we're not going to create safe spaces, what

1230
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,640
Speaker 1: we're doing is basically accepting the fact that these women

1231
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 1: and men that identify as trands are being murdered. And

1232
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 1: that's okay. We ask you before we go. I watched

1233
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,520
Speaker 1: Boys Don't Cry. Oh my mom made me watch that

1234
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:32,080
Speaker 1: from a young age. She did my mom, You know what,

1235
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,360
Speaker 1: Me and mamma were good friends. Now like like she's

1236
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:36,160
Speaker 1: not my best friend. She wants you to watch it

1237
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 1: for you to feel better, or she wanted for me

1238
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: to be scared. Do you remember Boys Don't Cry? We're

1239
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:46,480
Speaker 1: on a writer or no um where she was I

1240
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 1: don't know what No No from the Hands and Stranger thing.

1241
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:54,440
Speaker 1: It is an amazing movie, but basically she's living as

1242
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:56,040
Speaker 1: a man. I haven't seen it in some years. But

1243
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:59,120
Speaker 1: gets a girlfriend. The girl's cool with it, she felt

1244
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:01,680
Speaker 1: it new, didn't give a fuck. Um, but she hung

1245
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 1: out with some guys. Huh. That was Hillary splaining that

1246
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:13,440
Speaker 1: more no a right, all right, Oh I movies, Well

1247
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:19,600
Speaker 1: you incorrectly ship. I didn't know I from that movie. Um,

1248
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 1: I just watched Stranger Thing. It was probably my se

1249
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 1: no no, but anyway, she was hanging out with some

1250
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:25,440
Speaker 1: men and when they found out, I don't remember if

1251
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:28,919
Speaker 1: they beat her up and raped her and killed him. Yeah.

1252
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,720
Speaker 1: It was a scary as place to be, but it

1253
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 1: taught you so much. And I remember watching it with

1254
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:35,280
Speaker 1: my mom and she was like, if you ever have

1255
01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:37,800
Speaker 1: friends that are scared to come out and blah blah blah,

1256
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:39,080
Speaker 1: you should make sure they have someone to talk to

1257
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 1: and be safe. I wish my mom did. I'm just

1258
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:43,280
Speaker 1: my mom did it as a scared tactic. I think

1259
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 1: that she saw that I was, you know, constantly. For her,

1260
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,920
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, I'm constantly wearing boys clothes or

1261
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 1: masculine clothes. And for her it's just like and and

1262
01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:55,440
Speaker 1: And It's funny because fast forward a little bit and

1263
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:56,880
Speaker 1: I'll come back to the first forward a little bit

1264
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 1: um when I was in my teens and I was,

1265
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:01,600
Speaker 1: you know, dating females and they didn't know, and then

1266
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,400
Speaker 1: they found out. My mom too found out. And when

1267
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 1: my mom found out, she was like, say, these little

1268
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:09,560
Speaker 1: girls brothers and cousins, and dad wants to come and

1269
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:12,120
Speaker 1: do what what happened? And boys don't cry? And she

1270
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:15,280
Speaker 1: was very fearful of my s. She was, she was,

1271
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 1: she she still was scared. Watched and I'm a grown

1272
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:20,760
Speaker 1: man now and I can you know, I mean, I'm good,

1273
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:28,760
Speaker 1: but in terms of like I don't fear yeah, but

1274
01:07:29,200 --> 01:07:31,680
Speaker 1: my mom was really like after I watched, and she's like,

1275
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:33,280
Speaker 1: you know, she she sent me a voice, no, I

1276
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:38,360
Speaker 1: I should play, and she's like, let me see a please.

1277
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:39,800
Speaker 1: That would be I would love to know that, because

1278
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 1: just looking at you, I wonder if your mom is like,

1279
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:43,400
Speaker 1: oh my god, he is so handsome and he's got

1280
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:46,320
Speaker 1: he's kind of me and MO. Mom didn't have a

1281
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:50,200
Speaker 1: good relationship up. It was strange, said, we do know

1282
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,080
Speaker 1: we didn't growing up, We didn't have a good good

1283
01:07:52,120 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 1: relationship because I was trying to find myself. She was

1284
01:07:55,680 --> 01:07:59,160
Speaker 1: obviously hoping that she would have a relationship with her daughter. UM,

1285
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,320
Speaker 1: and that never came, you know, I mean that never

1286
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:03,720
Speaker 1: came to fruition. And for a long time we we

1287
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:06,480
Speaker 1: didn't have a good relationship. And I remember when when

1288
01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:08,120
Speaker 1: you know, she started coming to me, coming with me

1289
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:11,440
Speaker 1: to appointments and starting to learn about, you know, what

1290
01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:13,840
Speaker 1: it is that I'm going through. Um. She was like,

1291
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 1: I just hope that I have a better relationship with

1292
01:08:15,480 --> 01:08:17,280
Speaker 1: my son than I did with my door, you know.

1293
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:19,800
Speaker 1: And I was like, Yeah, that's exactly what I needed

1294
01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 1: to hear kind of thing. That's exactly what I want,

1295
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:23,560
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And that's exactly what we have.

1296
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:26,360
Speaker 1: We have a great relationship. And it's like finding myself

1297
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:30,639
Speaker 1: was the first step to me loving myself, and prior

1298
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:33,280
Speaker 1: to that, I didn't love myself. And in turn, it

1299
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,840
Speaker 1: meant that my relationships with everyone and anyone around me

1300
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 1: was strained due to that. I'm scrolling through my phone

1301
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:42,280
Speaker 1: trying to find um this um she she sent me

1302
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 1: so many. I said, well, we're gonna end with your

1303
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:46,680
Speaker 1: voice note. If we can't, can you go ahead and

1304
01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:49,439
Speaker 1: let our listeners know where they can find you? Wait,

1305
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:52,720
Speaker 1: I think did you find it? Listeners? You can find

1306
01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:56,200
Speaker 1: me on Instagram at Rush London, Twitter at Rush London.

1307
01:08:56,479 --> 01:09:01,280
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna give out my Snapchat, but don't hurt

1308
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:06,400
Speaker 1: your information. Um in the link of this episode. Yeah,

1309
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:08,960
Speaker 1: and if you want to see more of Rush, he

1310
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:12,120
Speaker 1: is on d b K chat episodes on YouTube. You've

1311
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:15,400
Speaker 1: seen Jelissa and Flee who we had on. Um. I'm

1312
01:09:15,479 --> 01:09:18,920
Speaker 1: just so grateful that he came and he is just

1313
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:21,519
Speaker 1: as hot as he looks in pictures. I already stuck

1314
01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:23,120
Speaker 1: a little video because I don't know what I'm gonna do.

1315
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:28,120
Speaker 1: Look at that myself later. Sorry, Russia's wife. All right,

1316
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:30,040
Speaker 1: so this is what my mom said because she's still

1317
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:34,240
Speaker 1: very much so fearful for my safety. Okay, yeah, I

1318
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,600
Speaker 1: want to hear this. It's quite hold it up to

1319
01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 1: the mike. I don't even know, like making new friends,

1320
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 1: meeting new people, just nine you know who who you really?

1321
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:58,000
Speaker 1: You know, you know me? You know, stuff like that. Okay.

1322
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:00,720
Speaker 1: In other ways, what she would saying in is after

1323
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:02,639
Speaker 1: being on backchat, she's sure that a lot of people

1324
01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:04,599
Speaker 1: are going to be reaching out. It sounds very supportive.

1325
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:09,200
Speaker 1: It still doesn't know how to word it exactly. You

1326
01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:13,960
Speaker 1: could definitely hear the kind of caution. Yeah, but my mom,

1327
01:10:14,040 --> 01:10:15,640
Speaker 1: she is cautious because what she's trying to say is

1328
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:17,840
Speaker 1: basically just be aware of like who's reaching out to

1329
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:21,280
Speaker 1: you in terms of one wanting to befriend you because

1330
01:10:21,439 --> 01:10:23,439
Speaker 1: of the ship like that. Again, a lot of trans

1331
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:26,599
Speaker 1: folks are murdered. Yeah, she's quite fearful of the fact

1332
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:30,200
Speaker 1: that being in the States where you know, coming out here,

1333
01:10:32,240 --> 01:10:35,400
Speaker 1: she's quite fearful of who who may seem as though

1334
01:10:35,439 --> 01:10:38,760
Speaker 1: they have good, good intentions about going to meet them,

1335
01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 1: that may not be the case. Thank you well, Thank

1336
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:44,240
Speaker 1: you mom, and thank you so much Rush for coming

1337
01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:47,200
Speaker 1: to You were an amazing guest and I hope that

1338
01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:54,400
Speaker 1: our listeners on this episode umption they hated us last one,

1339
01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:56,800
Speaker 1: but thank you again so much for coming on. We'll

1340
01:10:56,840 --> 01:10:59,400
Speaker 1: put all of your social media links in the link

1341
01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:01,640
Speaker 1: of this bio. We will also post you on our

1342
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:04,040
Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions page and for you guys listening, you guys

1343
01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:07,560
Speaker 1: can continue to follow us on Instagram at Horrible Underscore Decisions.

1344
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 1: Um every ch out to us again, Thank you again

1345
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:13,040
Speaker 1: for all of the love on iTunes, SoundCloud, I heart radio,

1346
01:11:13,120 --> 01:11:15,960
Speaker 1: everywhere that you guys listen to us, and thank you.

1347
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:18,880
Speaker 1: Um oh and bitch, we slow me off with this

1348
01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 1: motherfucking live show hole, so we will see you guys.

1349
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,439
Speaker 1: You'll have to come and see you guys December one

1350
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:28,640
Speaker 1: here in NYC for our very first live show that

1351
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:31,840
Speaker 1: is sold out. Bitches. Anyways, this has been another episode

1352
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:32,800
Speaker 1: of horrible decisions