1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and seventy nine, 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,199 Speaker 1: which is airing in early January of twenty twenty one. 12 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: We are recording in twenty twenty still, but we're wishing 13 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: our future listeners a happy new Year, and happy new 14 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: Year to future Laura and Sarah as well. Sarah, do 15 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: you have any exercise plans for the new year. I 16 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: know you always set sort of exercise goals and have big, 17 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: exciting new projects. How's that going for you? I have 18 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: not read. I do have an exciting announcement, which is 19 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: that I've been able to procure weights that I've been 20 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 1: trying to get all because they were all still down. 21 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 1: It was like diggle digsaw puzzles and clorax wipes, right, 22 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: like these were the things that was like completely. So 23 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: I had like fifteen pound weights and twenty I mean 24 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: I had ones less than that as well, and then 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: I had twenty five pound weights. But there are certain 26 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: exercises where like fifteen was getting kind of easy, but 27 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: twenty five was like I could do half of a 28 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: stem of a wrap. Yeah yeah, so so I really 29 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: wanted like those interval ones. And now I have seventeen 30 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: point fives and twenty so I feel like very excited 31 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: about that. So, I mean, I'm just going to keep 32 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: working on my strength stuff. I probably will keep doing 33 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,960 Speaker 1: the kind of beach body programs that I've been doing. 34 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,400 Speaker 1: I do kind of want to train for like a 35 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: faster five K, and now it would be the season 36 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: to do it, not like the spring or summer in 37 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: our climate. So we'll see if I can do some 38 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 1: kind of combo. And I think that I will do 39 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: the eighty day obsession yet again this summer. I think 40 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: it's a perfect use of our horrible summer weather and 41 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: I just enjoyed the challenge of it. So yeah, those 42 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: are my twenty twenty one fitness goals. Nothing crazy. Yeah, 43 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: I'm not setting anything crazy either. I just plan to 44 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 1: keep running four to five times a week most days, 45 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 1: get over ten thousand steps one way or another. I 46 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: keep saying I want to strength train. I'm pretty sure 47 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: I don't actually want a strength train, because I would 48 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: have done it by now if I truly wished to 49 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: do it. I have a kettlebell and resistance bands in 50 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: my office and occasionally I pick them up. So maybe 51 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: that's something I will just, you know, try to do. 52 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: As I say, three times a week is a habit, 53 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: maybe I'll just do it lately three times a week 54 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 1: and see how it goes. And yeah, when sometimes when 55 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: we say I don't have time, it really means it's 56 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: not a priority, and I think I should just accept that. 57 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: Maybe acceptance will be our message of twenty twenty one, 58 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: thatstens is actually a wonderful message. It is all right, Well, 59 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: let's go to our guest. Well, Sarah and I are 60 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 1: delighted to welcome Christina Shenvy to the podcast. I'll be 61 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 1: interviewing her today. So Christina, can you introduce yourself to 62 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 1: our listeners. Thanks Laura, I'm so excited to talk with 63 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: your listeners on this podcast. Yes, I am a practicing 64 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: emergency medicine physician and assistant professor at the University of 65 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 1: North Carolina, and one of the things that I'm really 66 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: passionate about is helping students and also other professionals understand 67 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: how to use their time better. So we share a 68 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 1: lot of excitement about that topic, clearly, And that's one 69 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: of the things I do is I coach students, and 70 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: now I've started coaching faculty and teaching about time management. 71 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: I also have four kids, so not the five that 72 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: you have, but it's pretty awesome. I feel like a 73 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: lot is nine kids enough to like make a soccer 74 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: team or something. Yeah, not quite but yeah, between the 75 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: what maybe it is getting my sports mixed up, but 76 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: between the two of us, we have a lot of 77 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: off sproats and a lot of young ones and a 78 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: lot of interest in time management too. How old are yours? 79 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 1: My kids are five, seven, ten, eleven, okay, right, packed 80 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: in there and six. At one point they were like 81 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: six ' five two and one right exactly. Yeah, yes, 82 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: there's always a think of those days and sort of yeah, 83 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: many many flashbacks, so and what made you decide to 84 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: I mean, give me you have this broad interest like 85 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: time management and things like that. I mean, what brought 86 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: you to medicine then as kind of your primary career. Well, really, 87 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,600 Speaker 1: I've had kind of a winding path. I get really 88 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: curious about things and then delve into them. So I 89 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 1: actually did a PhD first in chemical biology, and then 90 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: decided I want to go to med school and then 91 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,799 Speaker 1: did residency and fellowship. And I've always really loved education, 92 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: and so I got into the education realm in the 93 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: School of Medicine and was hired on to be an 94 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: academic coach to coach students, and I realized that a 95 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: lot of the struggles that they were having with academics 96 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: really came down to time management. And then as I 97 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 1: delved more into that and into some of the educational 98 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: psychology literature, I realized that a lot of the time 99 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: management problems are really trouble managing your own mind. And 100 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: that's where I feel like I can really make a 101 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,479 Speaker 1: difference with people. Yeah, so what is your job coaching 102 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: students and faculty actually look like? Then? Do the people 103 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: get referred to you? Can they just use you as 104 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: a resource? I mean how does that work? Yeah. So 105 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: now I'm director of our Office of Academic Excellence, it's 106 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: called So we have about thirteen of us who help students, 107 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: and students can come and ask for help, or if 108 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: they're not doing that well in a course, the course 109 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: director might refer them to us. Or if I monitor 110 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: the scores, I have like giant Excel spreadsheets with all 111 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: the data points and if it looks like as students 112 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: not doing as well as they could, then I'll email 113 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: them and reach out to them. And then with faculty, 114 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: I've been running workshops at different institutions for faculty on 115 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: time management and habit formation, will power, how to maintain 116 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: agency over your time, all those sorts of things. Yeah, 117 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: and so you do a lot of workshops and things 118 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: like that, right, Are there are any of those ever 119 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: open to the public or Yes, there are two upcoming 120 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 1: in January and February that I've opened up to the 121 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: public for the first time, which will be really fun 122 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 1: and if your listeners are interested, you can find out 123 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: more information about those at www. Dot time for your 124 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,600 Speaker 1: Life dot org. Awesome. So let's talk about your time 125 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: management system here. So you you have three aspects of it. 126 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: You have the compass, the clock, and the key very 127 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 1: good three, and you can see there's like flashing on 128 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: a screen or something and the music plays behind. But 129 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 1: wanted to talk a little bit about what that means, 130 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: sort of broad term, and then we'll take our ad 131 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: break and then we'll get we'll delve deeper into it. 132 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 1: So first, the compass I think about this is really 133 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 1: understanding where you want to go, because you can't measure 134 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: how well you're doing your with your time or how 135 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: well you're using your time unless you know what you 136 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 1: want to be putting your time towards. So the compass 137 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: is making sure you're focusing on the right things, making 138 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,719 Speaker 1: sure you have the right things on your plate. You know, Laura, 139 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: one of the problems so many people tell me they 140 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 1: have is the too much on my plate problem, And 141 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: so you can't tell what needs to be on your 142 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: plate unless you know where you want to be going. 143 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: So I think about this as kind of your big 144 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: picture or your big mission or vision or values what's 145 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: really important to you. So if you had thirty years 146 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: to live, what would you really want to accomplish? Or 147 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: what about if you had twenty years or ten years 148 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: or five years what are those things that are really 149 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: important to you. I kind of think about this too, 150 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: like a general in you know, one of those war rooms, 151 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: and with that map, maybe it can be a hologram 152 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: map if we're thinking like Marvel comics and that kind 153 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: of thing. But they're thinking about where to deploy their troops. 154 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: And you would never waste troops on a battle that's 155 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: not going to help you win the war. So you 156 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: have to know what is that war that I'm fighting, 157 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: what is it that I want to do, and then 158 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 1: you can figure out how to deploy your troops, which 159 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: is your time and energy to the right places, all right, 160 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 1: So that's our compass and then our clock. Yeah, so 161 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: the clock is really about doing the right things. Well, 162 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 1: so once you understand, like what are the things that 163 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: I need to do, then you can break it down 164 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: to an individual day. So if I say, okay, for you, 165 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: maybe writing that next book is your big thing that 166 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: you need to do, So then you can break it 167 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: down and say, today, what are the critical actions that 168 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: I need to do and kind of list them and 169 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: then prioritize them. So it's really about strategy and then prioritization, 170 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: and when you think about those things, you can think 171 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,319 Speaker 1: about what kind of work they are, because not all 172 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: work is the same for you. Maybe writing that chapter 173 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: draft is deep work that you really need to focus 174 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,679 Speaker 1: on and have at least an hour block of time 175 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: to work on, whereas shooting out some scheduling emails or 176 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: dealing with your bills and paperwork. That's what I think 177 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: of as shallow work. You really don't need your entiremental 178 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 1: focus and you can kind of knock out things really quickly. 179 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: So when I'm looking at my day from a strategy standpoint, 180 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 1: then I think about, Okay, I need to block off 181 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 1: chunks of time for my deep work, whether that's meeting 182 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 1: with students, or that's writing a presentation or writing an 183 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 1: article or something like that, and then my other shallow 184 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: work I can slot in between as kind of breaks 185 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: from my deep work, because your brain needs a break 186 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: from thinking really deeply. You can only think deeply for 187 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 1: about an hour and a half to two hours at 188 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: a time. So one of the things I'll do is 189 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: I'll put in that deep work on my calendar. And 190 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,680 Speaker 1: it works better if you specify what you're going to do, 191 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: because if you show up to your work or your 192 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: desk and you're like, okay, well what should I do today? 193 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,839 Speaker 1: Then you're less likely to really be working on those 194 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: high priority actions because your mind will say, oh well, 195 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: let me just you know, check my email real quick, 196 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,120 Speaker 1: or let me just that, let me just thought is 197 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: always a distractor. Let me just check Instagram, Let me 198 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: just check Facebook real quick. Let me just see how 199 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: many likes that got on Twitter, and then all of 200 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 1: a sudden, you've lost an hour. So if you plan 201 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 1: ahead of time what you're going to use your deep 202 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 1: work for, then that reduces the likelihood that you're going 203 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: to then go off on a tangent. So I'll put 204 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: in my deep worktime on my calendar, decide ahead of 205 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: time what I'm going to do with it, and then 206 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: take away any sort of distraction. Close down my email, 207 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: my phone, I take my watch off. I have one 208 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,319 Speaker 1: of the Apple watches that will tap me if I 209 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,679 Speaker 1: get a text, So I take that off, and then 210 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: I set an alarm for five minutes before whatever my 211 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: next meeting is, so that I don't even have to 212 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: look at the clock and keep track of time. I 213 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 1: know once my alarm goes off, I'll have five minutes 214 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: to like reset and then jump on my next in 215 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: this case, in this day and age, zoom meeting, So 216 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: that can really help you make sure you're getting those 217 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: high priority tasks done. The second part of that of 218 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: the clock is efficiency. So you know, if you think 219 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: about you have all these things on your plate, how 220 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: can you create more space on your plate, Well if 221 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: you shrunk each of the items. So every single thing 222 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 1: that you do, if you do it more efficiently, then 223 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: you'll have more time. When I was a med student, 224 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: I almost went into certain I loved surgery, so I 225 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: spent a lot of time doing rotations in ther and 226 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: I remember the surgeons were always so quick and efficient 227 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: with their movements, and I kind of thought, like, what's 228 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: the rush? But then I realized, if every single movement 229 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: you do you're fifty percent faster or twice as fast, 230 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: then you'll finish that whole case overall in two hours 231 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: instead of four hours. So those small incremental differences in 232 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: just tying a knot or you know, connecting two pieces 233 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: of whatever will add up to huge changes over the 234 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 1: long term. We're going to hear a little bit more 235 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: about how to do daily things more efficiently. In just 236 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: a minute, when we're back from our break, Hey listeners, 237 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 1: my family recently bought a new house with more bedrooms, 238 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: which means we need some new mattresses. But there was 239 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: a problem. I was not so excited about visiting a 240 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: mattress store during a pandemic. But I also didn't want 241 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: to buy a mattress online that might not be right 242 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,960 Speaker 1: for me. So I'm glad I found Helix Sleep. Helix 243 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: has a quiz that takes just two minutes to complete 244 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: and matches your body type and sleep preferences to the 245 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: perfect mattress. They have several different models to choose, from soft, medium, 246 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 1: firm ones that cool you down if you sleep hot, 247 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 1: and mattresses especially for plus size folks. I took the 248 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 1: Helix quiz and was matched with the Dusk model, probably 249 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: because I sleep on my stomach. The mattress is great, soft, 250 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 1: but supportive, and with a baby who sometimes keeps me 251 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: up at night, I want to enjoy all the sleep 252 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: I can get. So if you're looking for a mattress, 253 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: go to helixsleep dot com slash best of take the 254 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: two minute sleep quiz, order the mattress you're match to, 255 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: and it comes right to your doors shipped for free. 256 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: No Mattress store. They have a ten year warranty and 257 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,320 Speaker 1: you get to try it out for one hundred nights 258 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: risk free. They'll even pick it up for you if 259 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: you don't love it, but you know what you will. 260 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,719 Speaker 1: Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick 261 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 1: of twenty twenty by GQ and Wired Magazine. Helix is 262 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: offering up to two hundred dollars off all mattress orders 263 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep dot 264 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: com slash Best of That's Helix Sleep dot com slash 265 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 1: best of All. Right, so I am back with Christina Sheenvi, 266 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 1: who is talking about her time management system that she 267 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 1: uses to coach busy med students and faculty members. We've 268 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 1: been talking about the compass, which is the big goals 269 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: in life, figuring out where we're going. Now we're talking 270 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: about the clock, which is how to be more efficient 271 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: and effective in our daily schedules. So you're talking about 272 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 1: how surgeons were very efficient with their movements. What does 273 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: that look like for those of us who aren't doing surgery. Yes, 274 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: so think about it really comes down to being aware 275 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 1: and tensional with what you're doing. So if you're sending 276 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 1: an email, if you're kind of dawdling with it and 277 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,760 Speaker 1: at the same time like looking at your phone or 278 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: being distracted or you know, watching movies, you're not really 279 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,319 Speaker 1: being efficient with your time. So saying Okay, for the 280 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,439 Speaker 1: next ten minutes, I'm going to do my emails and 281 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to just knock them out one after another, 282 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,800 Speaker 1: and really being efficient with that or anything that you're doing. 283 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: Just looking at your your how you're spending your time 284 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 1: and saying, am I doing this efficiently? And that means, 285 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 1: you know, for your deep work to do it well, 286 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: you really have to focus. I don't know if you've 287 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: read cal Newport's book Deep Work, but he gives what 288 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: he calls the deep work equation, which is that the 289 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: high quality work produced equals time spent doing it, time's 290 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: intensity of focus. So you can have either a lot 291 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 1: of time doing something with a shallow focus or a 292 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 1: smaller amount of time doing something with a really deep focus. 293 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: And the other thing that comes into play here is 294 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: we have to have assist to manage all the things 295 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 1: we have to do, because if you're there trying to 296 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: write your chapter and then you all of a sudden 297 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: are thinking, oh man, I've got to pick up diapers, 298 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: or I've got to get my car checked, or I've 299 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: got to pay this bill. All those thoughts are like 300 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: live balls, like bouncing around in your head, and you 301 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: really can't work on your deep work if you've got 302 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,760 Speaker 1: all these thoughts bouncing around that you're trying to carry. 303 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 1: So you have to have a system to offload that. 304 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: Whether that's for me. What I do is I am 305 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: a little old fashioned. I like my paper to do list. 306 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 1: I have a clipboard and you know, not even a 307 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 1: digital clipboard, like an actual physical clipboard and a piece 308 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 1: of paper. And I have different categories of my to 309 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: do items. So when something pops in my head, like 310 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: I've got to do that, you know, renewal paperwork for 311 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: my job, then under my admin category, I'll write a 312 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: little checkbox and I'll write that I have to do that, 313 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: and if I know it, I'll write the do date. 314 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: That way, that offloads it from my brain so that 315 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: I can really focus on what I'm doing. And that 316 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 1: part of focus is it plays into the last of 317 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: the three things we had, the compass, the clock, and 318 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: now the key, which is controlling your mind. So talk 319 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: about what that means that really is the key because 320 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: a lot of times, you know, we can clear our 321 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 1: physical space, we can clear our digital space, but then 322 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: how do you clear the mental space? I love David 323 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 1: Allen's book Getting Things Done, and one of the things 324 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: he said is that most people have never experienced what 325 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: it's like to think of only the thing that they're doing. 326 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: And the trouble is, then, you know, those thoughts of oh, 327 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: I've got to pick up diapers or I've got to 328 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 1: get my car checked, they're relatively easy to manage, But 329 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,040 Speaker 1: how do we manage the thoughts that are more challenging, 330 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: like oh, what if I write this book and nobody 331 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 1: reads it? Or what if I publish this article and 332 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: everyone hates it or people tweet out that it's terrible. 333 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 1: So those kind of thoughts are much more challenging to 334 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: deal with. I was working with a student one time 335 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 1: who was saying she was struggling with her grades and 336 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: her classes, and she said she just had so much 337 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:07,200 Speaker 1: trouble focusing, and so we talked about, well, are you, 338 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 1: you know, studying in a quiet space? Have you cleared 339 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 1: your phone out of the room, shut down your email? 340 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,200 Speaker 1: She had done all that and then I just said, 341 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,400 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes it can be really hard to study 342 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 1: when you're very anxious about failing, or when you're having 343 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,640 Speaker 1: thoughts of you know, if this doesn't go well, I'm 344 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: not going to be able to be a doctor. And 345 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: at that point she just started crying, because that's where 346 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 1: we get hung up the most often. So once you've 347 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,479 Speaker 1: done all the kind of tactical measures of clearing your 348 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: digital space, clearing your physical space, you have to think 349 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: about becoming aware of your own thoughts. A lot of 350 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: times people procrastinate out of several things, sometimes what's called 351 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:51,719 Speaker 1: self worth preservation, because if you withhold effort, then if 352 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 1: it doesn't go well, if your article gets rejected, then 353 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: you don't feel as bad. And there's tons of data 354 00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,439 Speaker 1: on this too that if you withhold effort and it fails, 355 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: then you don't feel as much shame. So we naturally 356 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: when we're afraid, when we're doing something that's a little 357 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: outside our comfort zone, then we are tempted to withhold 358 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: effort or procrastinate or kind of be disorganized or whatever 359 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: it may be. So really the key starts with creating 360 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 1: awareness of our thoughts. What is the thought that is 361 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 1: keeping me from putting my whole self and my whole 362 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: effort into this, or what are the emotions that I'm 363 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,360 Speaker 1: avoiding by avoiding this task. So I had a paper 364 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: that I had to write, and I just kept putting 365 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: it off, and finally I realized, you know, it's not 366 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 1: that I couldn't make time for this, but I didn't 367 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: because I didn't want to feel that self doubt that 368 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 1: I knew I would feel, or that frustration or insecurity 369 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 1: or boredom if it's kind of a boring piece of work. 370 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: So we avoid tasks to avoid feeling those emotions. So 371 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: the first step is creating awareness and then really creating 372 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,679 Speaker 1: space between ourselves and our thoughts. We tend to do 373 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 1: what's called cognitive fusion, where we think a thought and 374 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 1: we automatically believe that it's true and we don't actually 375 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 1: examine it. So the next step is really examining is 376 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,359 Speaker 1: this a valid thought or is this a thought that 377 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 1: I want to entertain? Is this a thought that's serving me? 378 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 1: This thought of I don't want to do this because 379 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: it's so boring, or I'm just dreading doing this, that 380 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: thought itself is creating the emotion of dread or of 381 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 1: avoidance and then learning how to kind of manage our 382 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:33,119 Speaker 1: thoughts by intentionally choosing thoughts that will allow us to 383 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,399 Speaker 1: take action. And this requires This is not a quick 384 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,120 Speaker 1: fix by any means. This is not like a life 385 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,360 Speaker 1: hack like try this once. It's kind of like exercising, 386 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 1: you know, you don't eat a salad once three years 387 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: ago and then be healthy. You have to eat that 388 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 1: salad every day and exercise, you know, every week to 389 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,639 Speaker 1: be healthy. So this is the kind of thing that 390 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: you learn to do as a habit. But a great 391 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 1: place to start is just writing down those thoughts and 392 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 1: being just radically honest with yourself. When you find yourself 393 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 1: procrastinating or avoiding something, writing down what is it that 394 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: you're avoiding? Is it boredom? And then asking yourself, well, 395 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,679 Speaker 1: can I tolerate boredom to get this job done? Or 396 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,520 Speaker 1: if it's frustration or self doubt, can I tolerate self 397 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: doubt in order to get this done? And then another 398 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 1: method to overcome this is intentionally choosing new thoughts. So 399 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,959 Speaker 1: instead of the thought of I really hate that I 400 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: have to write this paper or study for this test, 401 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: or do this thing in my job that I don't 402 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: like choosing thoughts like I have full control over my time. 403 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: Isn't it great that I get to choose everything that 404 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 1: I do. I don't have to go to work, I 405 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: choose to go to work every day. Isn't it great 406 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 1: that I can use my creativity towards writing this paper? 407 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,119 Speaker 1: Or isn't it cool that I get to study the 408 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 1: human body by studying for this exam? And those thoughts 409 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: then create the feeling of self confidence, motivation and allow 410 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: you to then move and get it done. So that's 411 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: really the key of how to how to manage your 412 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 1: own mind around this. Yeah, it's interesting. My kids signed 413 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 1: up for I signed them up for rock climbing classes, 414 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,920 Speaker 1: which are on pause now with our various COVID restrictions. 415 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,239 Speaker 1: But my five year old is really a bit of 416 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: an acrobatic monkey, and so I'm quite sure he was 417 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: going to love it, and he does. But on the 418 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: first day I heard him talking to the instructor and 419 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 1: he was a little like, you know, that's a kind 420 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 1: of tall wall, very high, and she was talking with 421 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 1: them about, you know, what they could do. And he 422 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,679 Speaker 1: came back to me later and I said, because he 423 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,920 Speaker 1: kept climbing up to the top again and again and again, 424 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: and I was just like, wow, you know, you look 425 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: so fearless. And he said, no, no, I was kind 426 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 1: of scared of heights, but I'm in charge of myself. Oh. 427 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: And you know, I was like, that's that's so true. 428 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: You can be in charge of yourself and not you 429 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,760 Speaker 1: know that fear is interesting. Yeah, I'm gonna I can 430 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 1: still climb to the top, right, I can be afraid 431 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: and still do it. Yes, exactly. Yeah, So that's great, 432 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: that's wonderful. Let's talk a little bit about, you know, 433 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,680 Speaker 1: how you manage your time and your day to day 434 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 1: life because obviously you have a busy schedule with a 435 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,160 Speaker 1: medical practice and coaching and then your family life too. 436 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: What what does your sort of family responsibilities look like 437 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 1: and how you decide those and things like that. One 438 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,520 Speaker 1: of the things that's things that's really helped in my 439 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,919 Speaker 1: family and my husband and I is to have a 440 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: really clear idea of who does what in the house. 441 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 1: We very much have shared expectations. Actually he probably does 442 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: more of the house work than I do, but that 443 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,399 Speaker 1: way we know whose job it is and we just 444 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: kind of do it. So he does dishes, I do laundry. 445 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,320 Speaker 1: I do taxes and pay all the bills. He tends 446 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 1: to pick up more of the kids toys, or as 447 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,199 Speaker 1: your kids get older, thinking about well what do the 448 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 1: kids do? My kids are old enough now they can 449 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,920 Speaker 1: you know, put their own laundry in the washer and 450 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: dryer and pick up their rooms. And that way you 451 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:09,479 Speaker 1: don't have to negotiate each time. And the overarching idea 452 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 1: for me about kind of clearing your mind is offloading 453 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 1: as much as you possibly can to preserve your cognitive functioning. 454 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,919 Speaker 1: So you know, we think we can think about a 455 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: lot of different things and multitask and task switch and 456 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: do a bunch of stuff at once. And you can 457 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: do simple things, a lot of simple things at once, 458 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 1: but not complex things. So as much as possible if 459 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 1: you can preserve your cognitive load by offloading other things 460 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: other decisions, so it's never a decision of who's going 461 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: to do the taxes. I just do it that way, 462 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 1: we don't have to, you know, go through that each 463 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: time that comes up. The other thing that we do 464 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 1: is we put everything on our calendar. We live and 465 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: die by our shared Google calendar. That way, I don't 466 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: schedule something the same time as he has something, or 467 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: the kids have something, or you know, we've got to 468 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: dinner or something like that back when dinners used to 469 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,919 Speaker 1: happen pre COVID. And you can put a lot of 470 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,640 Speaker 1: things that are recurring. So I put on our calendar 471 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 1: each week whether it's trash or recycling day, or when 472 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: I need to change the air conditioning filters, or I 473 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 1: put on even to recur every year, all the birthdays 474 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 1: for family members and friends, or are recurring every six 475 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 1: months when I need to sit down and look at 476 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 1: my goals and my big vision and values and kind 477 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: of reassess my strategy. So if you put things on 478 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 1: your calendar, that offloads them from your mind and that 479 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 1: helps preseruly right on your calendar, think big thoughts. I 480 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: mean the so I think the entry is due one, 481 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 1: five and ten year goal sheet. So I have a 482 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: little sheet that I do every year where I look 483 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: at what do I want to accomplish in the next 484 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: one year, five year, or ten years, and then what 485 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,639 Speaker 1: steps do I need to do to get there? And 486 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 1: often the five and ten years are very vague, like 487 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,960 Speaker 1: I really don't have a great idea. I'm not like 488 00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,680 Speaker 1: one of those people who's saying, oh, I want to 489 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: be in this roll in five years, and here's my 490 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 1: ten step plan. I kind of know what I want 491 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 1: to accomplish in the next year, but I like to 492 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 1: just dream about ideas and put things out there. So 493 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,680 Speaker 1: that's something I try to do every year. Okay, And 494 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 1: so you guys all just your kids put stuff on 495 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 1: the calendar too, or how does that? Kids don't have 496 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 1: access to the calendar quite yet, mostly because I'm worried 497 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,640 Speaker 1: they would mess it up, but they might have quite 498 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,359 Speaker 1: understand it. Might just delete various things or meetings when 499 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,880 Speaker 1: they want me to be home. But at some point, yes, 500 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 1: I'll give them access so they can add things. Okay, No, 501 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 1: that's an And in terms of you know, you made 502 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: a point, I'm looking at our notes here about you know, 503 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: rest and recreation, like what what does that wind up 504 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:53,120 Speaker 1: looking like in a very busy life? How do you recharge? Yeah? 505 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 1: I try to think about what is really going to 506 00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 1: renew my mind and what is just mindless entertainment. And 507 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 1: not to say that there's not a place for mindless 508 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 1: entertainment or watching a movie or things like that, but 509 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 1: at some point there's a line where you go from 510 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 1: this is really renewing my mind and it's going to 511 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 1: make me feel more energized later to now at three 512 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 1: am and I'm pressing next episode, and I know I'm 513 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,360 Speaker 1: going to feel worse tomorrow. Because sometimes if we get 514 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:23,919 Speaker 1: into that habit of just turning on the entertainment or 515 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,199 Speaker 1: cracking open our beer and vegging out on the couch, 516 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,600 Speaker 1: that often doesn't actually make us feel more arrested or 517 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 1: more renewed. Instead, at the end of the day we 518 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,640 Speaker 1: feel like, oh no, now I didn't do this other 519 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: thing that I was supposed to do, and now I 520 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: feel worse. So figuring out what is renewing for me 521 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,679 Speaker 1: going to the gym or exercising. Certainly, getting enough sleep 522 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:50,160 Speaker 1: is important, but also connecting with friends is really important. 523 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,440 Speaker 1: I would so much rather have a twenty minute conversation 524 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,439 Speaker 1: with a friend than watch a movie for two hours, 525 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,920 Speaker 1: so that will be a much more renewing thing for 526 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 1: my own mind. Because when you've been doing deep work 527 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,639 Speaker 1: or difficult work, or handling these emotions of feeling bored, insecure, 528 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 1: or self doubt, those are very draining to feel. Those 529 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,400 Speaker 1: are very draining to manage your mind around, and so 530 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 1: you need to find a way to kind of renew 531 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 1: your mind and reset for the next day. Very cool. 532 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: So I wonder if you could talk us through a 533 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 1: little bit about your own schedule, like when you're doing 534 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: different things, like you know patient care, and you know 535 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,960 Speaker 1: your office work, your student facing work, your family stuff. 536 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:31,920 Speaker 1: Just talk like through a day, a day to day 537 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,199 Speaker 1: kind of schedule. So the interesting thing about being an 538 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 1: er doctor is almost no day is the same because 539 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: the shifts are all different. So how I manage my 540 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,879 Speaker 1: calendar is I have some big things that can't be moved. 541 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: So my shifts are eight hours long and they can 542 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,840 Speaker 1: be overnight, weekends, holidays, evenings, mornings, anytime. So those I 543 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,639 Speaker 1: have to set in. And if I have an overnight shift, 544 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 1: then I put on my calendar sleep for eight hours 545 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 1: the next day. Otherwise I'll accidentally schedule me during that 546 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 1: time and won't put down time to sleep. So I 547 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: block off those big things. And then there's some standing 548 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: meetings that I either lead or that I'm part of 549 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,480 Speaker 1: that are on my calendar and I can't move those 550 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,159 Speaker 1: other things. I think about what time of day do 551 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,679 Speaker 1: I work best to do my deep work, And I 552 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,840 Speaker 1: tend to do my deep work best in the kind 553 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: of nine am to noon time, and then maybe in 554 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,359 Speaker 1: the afternoon too, So I'll put big chunks of time 555 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,200 Speaker 1: there to do the big projects, whether that's creating a lecture, 556 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 1: writing article, doing my big strategic thinking, or whatever it 557 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: may be. So I'll set those times aside and try 558 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: to make them at least an hour long. And then 559 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 1: in between those, I'll have breaks of ten to twenty 560 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: minutes where I'll do the shallow work of emails scheduling 561 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: all those sorts of things. And then I'll schedule my 562 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: student meetings, typically for the end of the day from 563 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,880 Speaker 1: three to five pm, partly because i love meeting with 564 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 1: people with the students, but I'm also very much an introvert, 565 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 1: so after several hours of back to back meetings, I'm exhausted. 566 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 1: So if I do those in the morning, then I 567 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 1: just am so tired for the rest of the day. So, 568 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,680 Speaker 1: in thinking about the strategy, you know, back to the 569 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: general deploying their troops, I know that this type of work, 570 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: the meetings one on one, is going to be just 571 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,600 Speaker 1: tiring for me because of my introvert nature. So I'm 572 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 1: going to put those at the end of the day 573 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,479 Speaker 1: so that then I go home after that, whereas the 574 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 1: deep strategic work I'm going to put at the start 575 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,160 Speaker 1: of the day because that's when I focus better, Okay, 576 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: And so the work day ends maybe a little after five, 577 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,600 Speaker 1: after you've done this ends at five and then or 578 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: five thirty six, and then I'll come home, get the kid, 579 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: help get the kids dinner, play with the kids. They 580 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: go to bed at seven thirty, and then I do 581 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: more work. So typically, I know, and you've written about 582 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,760 Speaker 1: this about the second shift and the mosaic, and it 583 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,280 Speaker 1: definitely feels like that. It's kind of like a jigsaw 584 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 1: puzzle or a Tetris puzzle where all the pieces you're 585 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: trying to fit together, but then all the pieces often 586 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,959 Speaker 1: are moving or change shape and things like that. But 587 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,560 Speaker 1: typically we'll get the kids to bed and then I'll 588 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 1: do some more work from eight pm till ten pm 589 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 1: or whatever it may be. I'm right now, I'm also 590 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 1: doing an MBA, So that's what I've been doing in 591 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 1: the evenings. A lot is my MBA, homework and reading. 592 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: But other times I'll just do writing or things like that, 593 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: because why not, why not? Why the five year plan? Yeah, exactly. 594 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,280 Speaker 1: So we always end our episodes with a love of 595 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: the week, something that we're really enjoying right now. I'm 596 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,479 Speaker 1: going to say that sledding is my love of the week. 597 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 1: So we're recording this in mid December where we just 598 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: got a lot of snow in the Northeast here and 599 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: mid Atlantic region, and my family bought a new house recently. 600 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: We haven't moved there yet, but it has a hill 601 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,200 Speaker 1: in the front year. So we took our sleds over 602 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 1: there yesterday and zoomed on down. It was fun. I 603 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 1: zoomed too, it was I really enjoyed that part. So 604 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,760 Speaker 1: that's my love of the week. What are you really 605 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: enjoying right now? Well, my love of the week, to 606 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: be honest, Laura, yesterday I may have tiered up a 607 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 1: little bit with tears of joy when I got the 608 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 1: first dose of the COVID vaccine. This has just felt 609 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: like such a light that there is finally light. There's 610 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 1: still a long tunnel, but there's a little pinprick of 611 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: light out there that just feels so good. So that 612 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 1: was my love of the week this week. Yeah, now 613 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: that's an awesome one. Sarah I just posted pictures on 614 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 1: her blog of her getting her vaccine as well, and 615 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: her husband did I think on Wednesday this week. So yeah, 616 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: lots of people getting it hopefully and more to come 617 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,160 Speaker 1: very soon, even by the time this air is in 618 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 1: mid January. But we can, you know, really celebrate that 619 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: that is happening. That can be our love of the year. Yes, 620 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 1: everybody vaccinated and we can all, you know, hug each 621 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:48,320 Speaker 1: other and feel humanly. I think I may be wearing 622 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: a mask in like some public places, not about COVID, 623 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 1: but I'm like, I really like not having not getting colds. Yeah, 624 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 1: I have not got a hold in a long time, 625 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,880 Speaker 1: and my kids haven't either, and like you know, who knew. 626 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: I mean, the money that we've saved on Kleenex alone 627 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 1: is probably seven hundred dollars because nobody's not hold. Like 628 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 1: nobody's thrown up, I mean knocking on wood like crazy 629 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 1: right now, but like that hasn't happened all year. We 630 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: are and no colds. You know, I might wear a 631 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 1: mask on an airplane for like the rest of my life. Yeah, 632 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people will. I think, especially 633 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 1: working in the hospital, we might too, just to avoid 634 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: those kinds of things. Yeah, of course, I mean I'll 635 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: go see people again, like, yeah, I'll people again, but 636 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: but wearing a mask exactly. All right, well, Christina, thanks 637 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 1: so much for doing this and remind our listeners where 638 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: they can go find you. You You said the address earlier, 639 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 1: but let's hear it. Yes, you can go to time 640 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,200 Speaker 1: for your Life dot org. Is that all held out? 641 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 1: Time for your your Life? Yep, all the words spelled out, 642 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: And you can go there and find my blog posts 643 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: where I've been writing about different aspects of time management 644 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: and mind management, managing your own mind, not other people's minds. 645 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,920 Speaker 1: And you can find more information about my workshop in 646 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,320 Speaker 1: January and February. Awesome. Well, thanks Christina for coming on. 647 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,960 Speaker 1: Thank you, Laura. All right, well that was great. We're 648 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 1: back with our question and answer section. This question came 649 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:18,600 Speaker 1: from Instagram tips on job searching and switching while pregnant. 650 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 1: We actually get versions of this question a fair amount 651 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,760 Speaker 1: because obviously a lot of our listeners are in the 652 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 1: you know, baby having stages of their lives, and you know, 653 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,400 Speaker 1: moving around between jobs is one way that people do 654 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 1: also advance their careers early in the career growth years. 655 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 1: That's actually a way that many people are able to 656 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,840 Speaker 1: take their salaries, take their responsibilities up a significant notch 657 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 1: and so you know, these things may overlap, that pregnancy 658 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 1: and seeking out new opportunities can happen at the same time. So, Sarah, 659 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:55,520 Speaker 1: you have actually started a new job while pregnant, right, yes, 660 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 1: I have. In fact, my first interview that I had 661 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,120 Speaker 1: for my job, I was pregnant with Annabel, and when 662 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 1: I set foot to start working in August of twenty thirteen, 663 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 1: I had found out, like the month prior that I 664 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 1: was pregnant with Cameron. So yep, I have done it 665 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: and it worked out completely fine. To be honest, the 666 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,799 Speaker 1: maternity leave always seems really long when you think about it, 667 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: but it's really really like I just want to emphasize, 668 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,319 Speaker 1: like twelve weeks goes by so fast, and then the 669 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 1: job is still there for you to do, and usually 670 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 1: people can cobble together enough solutions so that your absence 671 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,239 Speaker 1: for twelve weeks doesn't matter so much. And in fact, 672 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 1: sometimes when you're in a new position, it matters even 673 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: less because like you haven't ramped up yet, whatever, you 674 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: don't have any responsibilities yet, right, just a you know, 675 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,440 Speaker 1: you've just started exactly, like no one assumes that you're 676 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 1: going to be, you know, carrying the weight of a 677 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 1: fully you know, hit the ground running employee on day one. Anyway, 678 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,840 Speaker 1: so there you go. So yes, from my personal experience, 679 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 1: it was fine. I've now still been at that same 680 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,839 Speaker 1: organization for the last seven and a half years now, 681 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,880 Speaker 1: and I don't think anyone remembers that, although I remember 682 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 1: being like horrified that I had to tell my my 683 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:07,160 Speaker 1: boss basically like so, yeah, that bump there is a baby, 684 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: so yeah, yeah, how did you have that conversation? Did 685 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 1: you literally do that, like, you know, let's sit down 686 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,240 Speaker 1: and talk. Yeah, I did. I mean I think I waited, 687 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 1: like I was like, I'm gonna work for a week 688 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 1: because I don't want to be like the first days. 689 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 1: And then like literally like one weekend, I was like, 690 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,799 Speaker 1: you know, doctor whatever, can I speak with you? And 691 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,520 Speaker 1: you know, we were more formal back then because I 692 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,800 Speaker 1: didn't know her as well, although I have a wonderful 693 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,960 Speaker 1: like senior leader and she's the same one, and so 694 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,000 Speaker 1: it's not surprising that she it was like fine, and 695 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 1: I was like, so, you know, I'm pregnant and she 696 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 1: was like, well, we assume that was going to happen 697 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 1: one day another you only had one kid, And I 698 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:50,680 Speaker 1: was like, well, yeah, you're right, Yeah, exactly. And I 699 00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:52,120 Speaker 1: think I took like I think I might have taken 700 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,759 Speaker 1: a ten week maternity leave then because some of it 701 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,839 Speaker 1: was unpaid or eleven weeks, like it wasn't quite twelve, 702 00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:01,280 Speaker 1: but it was very close to twelve. And it was fine. 703 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,680 Speaker 1: It was just fine. I mean I came back, I pumped, 704 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,520 Speaker 1: I ramped everything up, and now it's just kind of like, 705 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,880 Speaker 1: you know, a memory. And I did look up, like, 706 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 1: are people allowed to ask you if you're pregnant while 707 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 1: you're interviewing for a job. It gets a little bit 708 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 1: sticky because you're not allowed to discriminate against somebody for 709 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,200 Speaker 1: being pregnant. So if you ask somebody if they are 710 00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,759 Speaker 1: pregnant or planning to get pregnant, the interviewer is taking 711 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,759 Speaker 1: a legal risk because you could then knock at the 712 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,400 Speaker 1: job and then sue them and say it's because you 713 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 1: asked if I was pregnant, and then you're discriminated against me, 714 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,479 Speaker 1: and then they'd have to prove that like they didn't 715 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,520 Speaker 1: pick you for some other reason and blah blah blah 716 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 1: blah blah. So I mean that should empower you a 717 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: little bit to know that you don't necessarily have to 718 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:43,720 Speaker 1: answer that question. And actually this was a Forbes article 719 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,399 Speaker 1: that came up when I searched for this, and they 720 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 1: mentioned like, you can say something like I think what 721 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:49,920 Speaker 1: you want to know is whether I'll be around for 722 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,960 Speaker 1: the December rush. The answer for that is yes. Or 723 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,359 Speaker 1: I think you're asking whether I'm committed to the job. 724 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 1: The answer to that question is yes. Let me tell 725 00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,040 Speaker 1: you about a time at my current job where something 726 00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,800 Speaker 1: came up and I was able to get help and 727 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,520 Speaker 1: get through it or whatever, you know, et cetera. You 728 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,880 Speaker 1: can switch to question to address what you think is 729 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 1: their concerns. Yes, yeah, I think, I mean, I think 730 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:14,840 Speaker 1: there's interviewing while visibly pregnant is you know, going to 731 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,640 Speaker 1: be hard and people can you know, even if you 732 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,680 Speaker 1: can't legally discriminate, there's a million reasons somebody might not 733 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,280 Speaker 1: get a job. So it's also very hard to prove 734 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:27,400 Speaker 1: that you didn't get a job because of pregnancy discrimination. 735 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,840 Speaker 1: So I understand that this this is going to be 736 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:36,000 Speaker 1: a challenging thing to do. But you know, hopefully you 737 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:40,640 Speaker 1: have been you know, always building up career capital that 738 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,439 Speaker 1: you're coming into an interview situation, not just like I've 739 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 1: never heard of this company before, They don't know me 740 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 1: at all, Like it's random, Like hopefully this is coming 741 00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,200 Speaker 1: in in a very warm situation, like even they've invited 742 00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,839 Speaker 1: you to come in, like you know four people at 743 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,439 Speaker 1: the company who can all vouch for you, in which 744 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 1: case they're like, oh, this is great. You know, we're 745 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,319 Speaker 1: going to get her. She's going to take twelve weeks 746 00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 1: and then she's going to come back and be, you know, 747 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 1: the best contributor ever. So it's just saying that, like 748 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:12,400 Speaker 1: in general in life, you want to be in a 749 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 1: more powerful situation in these and if you are, you 750 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:21,239 Speaker 1: have a different experience than if you don't. And I 751 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,560 Speaker 1: recognize that that can be very difficult sort of early 752 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 1: on in the career, but that's one of the reasons that, 753 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,080 Speaker 1: you know, it is so good to be building up 754 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 1: your career capital, to be constantly networking, to be you know, 755 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 1: going to conferences and meeting people at different organizations, to 756 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,319 Speaker 1: have you know, a half dozen people who have been like, hey, 757 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 1: if you're ever thinking of switching jobs, call me first, Like, 758 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,920 Speaker 1: oh my goodness. If you have that, then probably your 759 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 1: bump isn't going to matter quite as much. So that's 760 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,960 Speaker 1: hopefully the place that you can get yourself to be 761 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,000 Speaker 1: love it all right, Well, this has been best of 762 00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 1: both worlds. We've been, you know, talking about all sorts 763 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,080 Speaker 1: of wonderful things. With this episode, we're recording ahead of time. 764 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,000 Speaker 1: I don't even know what we've been talking about in 765 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,359 Speaker 1: this episode, but we'll be back next week with more 766 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:04,720 Speaker 1: on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. 767 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 768 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,960 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 769 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:16,239 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 770 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us 771 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.