WEBVTT - Raising the Roof with Dan Tinker 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:09.720 Welcome to the Good Stuff. 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:12.080 I'm Jacob Schick and I'm joined by my co host 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:13.480 and wife, Ashley Shake. 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:16.720 Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:20.840 gold Star granddaughter, and we work together to serve military veterans, 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:24.600 first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:28.160 and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy. 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.639 At One Tribe Foundation, we. 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:33.559 Believe everyone has a steared itself, not only about the peaks, 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:35.120 but also the valleys they've. 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:37.000 Been through to get them to where they are today. 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:39.960 Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story, 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.520 to share with us the lessons they've learned that shaped 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:44.640 who they are and what they're doing to pay it 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:45.920 forward and give back. 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.240 Our mission with this show is to dig deep into 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:50.960 our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:53.000 and inspiration their story has to offer. 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.400 We are thrilled you're joining us again. 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:57.240 Welcome to the Good Stuff. 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:01.080 Our guest today is our dear friend, mentor Dan Tinker. 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:04.360 He's the CEO of SRS Distribution, one of the largest 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:06.560 roofing companies in the world, and is at a founding 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:10.040 member of Raise the Roof foundation we met years ago. 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:12.600 He came on as a board member to help scale 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:16.200 One Track Foundation to accomplish bigger and better goals, and 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.640 through his leadership, we have been able to achieve this. 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.760 The Tinkers are truly relationship and family goals for us, 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:24.720 and he's here today to tell us the story of 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.800 how his life and path from a wayward college student 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.560 changed in an instant when he met his wife of 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.920 thirty years, and how he spent decades stepping up to 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.160 the challenges and opportunities in front of him to make 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:40.240 his life, family, his company, and the world a better place. 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.360 We're so proud to bring this conversation to you because 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:45.560 this man is someone that I truly look up to 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:50.320 and I value our relationship greatly because not only does 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:54.400 he help me grow as a leader in business or nonprofit, 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:56.960 but as a human being, as a father, as a husband. 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:01.360 He's not only a successful businessman and Audrey, they don't 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:04.520 only lead by example, they live by example, right And 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:07.360 the fact that he's always been there for me When 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:10.760 I've asked him for something, for someone or for a family, 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.640 He's never hesitated to step up. He takes my call, 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.840 he listens to my why, and he makes it happen 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:17.839 every single time. 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:21.240 Definitely one of the most generous philanthroprists we know, ladies 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:21.760 and gentlemen. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:29.640 Dan Tinker, my brother, Dan Tinker, Welcome to the Good Stuff. 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:31.880 Thanks for having me honor to be here. 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:34.160 I know it's our first season and so we've had 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:38.960 a lot of first but as a lifelong Texas Longhorn, 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:40.960 I have to point out we have our first Aggie 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:42.200 on the show today. 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.880 Yeah, he is from the colt that love. 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:46.960 It, love that call out. 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:49.040 He's thirty seconds in and we've already got a woop. 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:52.799 No Texas A and M University Grad. Proud Texas A 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:55.960 and M University Grad. It's funny because every episode we 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:57.120 always joke the good stuff. 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.080 It's a lot of good stuff. You know. We go 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:00.400 deep and then we came out and. 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:04.160 We celebrate the successes of life and we talk God, 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.680 and we talk a lot of football and a little 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:09.959 bit of cussin. So there it is our football intro 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:13.000 for this show. But honestly, I love the tradition at 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.000 Texas A and M. I can say that. 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:16.880 Oh my god, we're recording. 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:20.040 We are recording, and I think there's a lot more 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:21.800 people to serve in the military from A and M 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:23.680 than Texas and we have checked the facts on that, 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:26.919 but I'm pretty sure with that big core programming former 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:27.960 military school, so. 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:33.280 I didn't. I didn't join the Marine Corps to. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.040 Go to college, so maybe I'm just an. 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:36.800 Exception of the rule. 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.920 I had the privilege of going covering a game at 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:42.440 Texas A and M and just being there at Kyle Field. 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.280 It was unbelievable because Jake and I talk about it often. 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:48.960 We respect tradition, whether it be looking at news over 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.400 what's going on in England with a monarchy, or the 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:54.800 military service here in the United States and ancestry, the 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:57.200 Marine Corps, Daughters of the Republic of Texas, whatever it 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:00.800 might be. We respect tradition, and A and M does 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:01.640 it like none of it. 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:03.000 Yeah, I think that's right. 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:06.080 I think the value system at that university really sets 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:09.160 the tone, which resonated with both my wife, Audrey and 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:09.760 I that. 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:12.240 We were at the right place for us, no doubt. 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:15.200 Just what that school stands for is something we were 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.120 proud to be a part of it. We were not 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:21.080 crazy like Aggie's, we were not raised in Aggie families, 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.720 so we both ended up there kind of in weird 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:26.120 routes that we were not like lifelong. We were definitely 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:27.320 going to go to and M It was very much 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.280 a last minute decision our senior year. So we were 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:32.480 just so lucky to end up where we thrived, and 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:34.840 we certainly are passionate about it now, but everybody there 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:38.640 is either borderline fanatical or passionate about the university, and 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:40.280 to me, that's the important part. You want to be 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:41.840 around people that love where they're at and love what 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:43.520 they're doing, and love who they stand for. 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:45.560 And you have an incredible story. You and Audrey have 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.640 an incredible story that we'll dig into, but first we 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.120 want to talk about how we even got to know you. 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.159 You and Jake have known each other for years, have 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:56.599 a lot of great memories and fun times, and I knew. 0:04:56.400 --> 0:04:58.640 That'd make you lat Yeah, no, I mean and nothing bad. 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:00.680 You know, Dan's only been a grea friend to me 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:03.640 and like an older brother who's been a mentor. And 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.960 I've learned so much from you. Obviously, you've come up 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:11.160 through the ranks big time in the corporate world and 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:12.320 you've earned what you've. 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:13.560 Nothing's been given. 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.040 I've learned a lot from you and when I was 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:18.560 asking you to be on the board for one Tribe 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:20.240 and I said, you're not leaving. 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:22.640 This place, do you say yes? Because especially those are 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:26.440 my drinking days, so I definitely meant it. But I've 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:27.159 learned a lot. 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:30.000 Aside from the fact you're a great dad and a 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:34.200 very present father, very present, dedicated husband, you're a great 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:38.640 example for not only me but everyone within the tribe. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.920 And it's just been a very humbling experience. 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:43.320 And everyone can point to people that have really made 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:46.320 an impact and made them better humans by default, and 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:48.000 you know, you're one of those people. For me, and 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:50.240 I know for Ash now and you and Audrey and 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:53.520 the kids. It's nice to say that as small as 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:55.479 our circles are, you're definitely in there. 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:56.640 So you made the cut. 0:05:57.480 --> 0:05:59.320 I appreciate that now. I remember the day I'm at 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.000 you a very vivid You were late, of course, and 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:06.760 to our meeting at Castle Hills with Mike Brower, and 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.120 when you enter a room, everybody knows it. But I 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:10.680 knew I wanted to be a part of the tribe 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:13.320 and twenty two kill. At the time, there was something 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.800 missing in my life on the military veterans side. I 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.760 mean certainly our company had given back. We've been doing 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.320 a lot on hiring veterans, but I really felt like 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:22.360 I still need to do more. 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:24.320 And really it was resonating. 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:27.320 Around this whole mental wellness and the need that when 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:29.760 people talk about wounded vets, they think about, you know, 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:32.200 flesh injuries. They don't think about the mental side ever. 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.880 But you know, I'd argue many many veterans come back 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.720 wounded physically, but almost all of them come back wounded 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:40.880 mentally in some way, and we just don't do enough 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:41.200 for them. 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.320 So the cause was there right out of the gate. 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:46.160 And then your personality, you're no nonsense and hit me 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:47.760 right in the face, punch me in the face kind 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:49.960 of with an attitude of like, hey, if you're going 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:51.440 to do this, I need you all in and I 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.839 don't know how to scale an organization like you do, 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:55.480 and I need you for these things where you can 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:58.480 add value. And that's really the main thing I leaned 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:00.960 on to make the decision to join the was do 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:01.960 I like the CEO? 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:03.159 And can I add value? 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.360 And once I said check, check, which was about again 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:08.159 thirty seconds in, yeah, we were ready to roll. 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.600 Well, it's been a tremendous asset to this foundation. And 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:15.520 you know, because of your influence and because of your discipline, 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:18.720 we felt a lot of people and most of which 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:22.320 that will never ever personally meet, and that to me 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:26.440 is one of the beautiful parts and aspects of this job. 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:29.240 We just create force multipliers for their greater. 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.720 Good And because of everything you just said, that's one 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:33.640 of the reasons we said we've got to have Dan 0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:37.440 on the good stuff. You have achieved so much as 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.880 a father and a husband, so family first, but then 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:46.160 as a businessman, just great achievements, and then to take 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.680 all of that and turn it around and really use 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:52.600 that platform to contribute back. It's really beautiful everything that 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:56.400 you and your entire team have been able to accomplish, 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:58.480 and that's what the good stuff is all about. We 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:00.640 feel so blessed to have you as a friend and 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.920 a mentor. We wanted to share this goodness with our listeners. 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.880 Right your story is one of great achievement in the 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:09.480 business world. You've accomplished so much and then used it 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:10.600 to help so many others. 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:11.880 Today we want to hear. 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:15.960 About the love story that's responsible for the man that 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:16.800 we now admire. 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:20.760 Yeah, it all starts with the motivation and what motivated 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:23.120 me to do all of that and have the career 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.960 I've had, And that really does go back to a 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.080 pivotal moment in my life where I had just entered 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.000 A and M as a freshman, and I was like 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:34.599 every eighteen year old boy away from home at the 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:35.160 first time. 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:39.199 I was dumb, stupid. That's not hat was thinking. I 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:41.240 was thinking I didn't need to go to class. 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.720 I spent more time playing sand volleyball on my first 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.000 semester than and I didn't even I don't even know 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:50.079 where my classes half of them were. I somehow got 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:53.840 through the semester with like a one point something GPA, 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:57.079 and I somehow luckily at Christmas break intercepted the mail 0:08:57.559 --> 0:08:59.319 from A and M to my parents saying that I 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.800 had been put on academic probation at Christmas break, so 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:06.280 I was on the fast track to be back here 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.360 at community college within probably four more months. 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:11.520 Had I not met my wife. 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:13.320 And started dating her two weeks later after I got 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:16.080 back from Christmas break, So in many ways, she not 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:19.120 only saved my life in some way, I say it 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.040 that way and people say, well, that's overly dramatic, but 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:23.800 it really is true. She certainly saved the life I 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:24.319 have today. 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:25.280 The life I have to day. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:27.560 Wouldn't have happened had I not met her, had the 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:29.440 courage to take the risk to ask her out when 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:31.360 everybody else wanted to and didn't. 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.640 Wow, that is beautiful. It gives me goosebumps. But I'm 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:37.600 not emotional yet. I usually cry. 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:43.640 So what was the first meeting? 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:47.360 Like, like, what was the I see her and I 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.000 have to ask her out, especially before I get put 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:51.120 on academic probation. 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:54.199 I was fortunate enough that two of her high school 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.760 classmates were in my dorm and on my hall, so 0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:59.880 when we started hanging out in groups. She was in 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.120 a dorm close proximity to mind where we'd have common 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:06.600 places with meals. One night, we'd have big groups of twelve, fifteen, 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:08.800 twenty people that we'd beat together and go out at 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:09.640 night and stuff like that. 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:12.160 So I remember I think being seen in her for 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:12.720 the first time. 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.440 She was actually playing in her mural soccer and she 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:16.200 was out on the soccer field and one of my 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:18.200 buddies said, Hey, that's that girl Audio I was telling 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:18.600 you about. 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:21.400 And I saw her, and I was like, I would 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.120 love to marry that woman someday. 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:26.880 And I had no game and nothing, you know, no 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:29.800 reason to think that I had any shot, and. 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:30.920 So I was totally cleoless. 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:32.000 But I was like, you know, you have to have 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.880 high aspirations. And she was dating he high school sweetheart 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.320 the first semester, so it gave us a chance to 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:38.800 get to know each other a little bit in a 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:42.200 very non pressure situation because she had a boyfriend, so 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:45.560 we were just becoming friends casually with a big group. 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:46.920 So it was very easy for me to just get 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:47.160 know her. 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.439 And if once you're around her, do you understand her personality? 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:52.320 And she's a beautiful person outside but way more so 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:55.520 than out. She just has an infectious smile. She never 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.920 met a stranger, very kind, very sweet. Luckily she broke 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:00.839 up with her high school sweet couldn't get into and 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:03.760 m thank god. I can't say I had anything to 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:05.320 do with that, although looking back, I would have tried 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.040 to get it back on out of that, but she 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.880 came back and they had broken up, and I, honestly, 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:12.400 I was just the first one that took the risk 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:14.920 and had the courage to actually ask her on an 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:17.480 individual date as opposed to just going out with our group, 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:21.080 setting friends all together in a group. So she said yes, 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:22.959 and I was like, holy crap, now what do I do? 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:26.000 So again, I didn't have yeah front pressure. I didn't 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:27.400 have a lot to offer at that time. You know, 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:29.080 I'm pretty good at sand volleyball, but I'm not really 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:30.520 going to class very often, and I'm not sure I'm 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.440 gonna be here very long. And she thought I was 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:35.400 full of shit too, because I talked about stories of 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:38.280 my high school days with my buddies and how. 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.120 Much beer we drank and all that. So she didn't 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:41.120 come from that environment. 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:44.280 She had a much better high school experience of doing 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.920 the right thing and always busy and in athletics and academics, 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.000 and so I don't think she drank alcohol till she 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:51.920 got to college, where I think I drank more in 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:53.839 high school than I did at A and M. So she 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.319 thought all that was like, you know, me just making 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:57.760 up stories. And then she met all my friends fro 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.400 high school and she realized I wasn't longing butter On. 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.040 But she she even says, I didn't think to people, 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:04.959 you know, yeah, I kind of liked him, but I 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:06.760 thought he was full of craft. But I think some days. 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.640 She still says, I'm full of craft three years later. 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.600 But anyway, so luckily we had our first date. 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:12.120 It was fun. 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.200 We I picked her up at the dorm and we 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:16.800 went out to dinner, went to a movie. Kept it 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:19.360 very simple, but I you know, I knew. It was 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:22.439 the first person I had never dated anybody in high school. 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.080 Didn't really went anywhere, had any length to it. It 0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:27.800 was very much just all nothing serious. So I went 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:30.120 into full court mode. I'm asking her out again. And 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:32.720 then we were lucky to get together. I'd moved off 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:35.600 campus for second semester. On campus, I was breaking too 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:37.520 many rules. So we had a party at our house, 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:39.760 and I remember that is the year the Cowboys won 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:44.680 that first Super Bowl, ninety three January ninety three. So yeah, 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:46.840 we had a party and she stayed over. And I 0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:48.680 was just so afraid that she'd meet some other guy 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.960 that I started walking her to every class. 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:52.760 And I said, I. 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:54.480 Was so worried about her breaking up with me. 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:56.400 I was like, well, if I spend every minute with her, 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:58.320 she can't meet anybody better. 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:00.360 So that's when I tried, and then I, well, shit, 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.000 i'm on campus. After I drive up, I might as 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:03.160 well go to my class that way. 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:05.480 So I drop her off and I'd walk down the 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.559 campus and say, where's that building I'm gonna going to? 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:10.840 I should probably go in there, And overnight my grades 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:14.520 went from like horrible to like almost straight a's the 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.040 rest of my entire time. I finished second in my 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:20.400 class and my major. Wow with that horrible start, And 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:24.520 that's all because of her motivating me to say, you're way. 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:26.040 Better than this. You can do way better things than if. 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:27.240 Oh by the way, if you're gonna be with me, 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:29.360 you're gonna be an all star, and you're gonna work 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:30.800 your ass off and you're not gonna be lazy, and 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:31.440 you're gonna. 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:31.920 Go to class. 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:35.000 She it was that important to me that I would 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.160 have done anything to stay in school, do well, and 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:40.680 impress her that I'm worthy of being her future husband. 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.520 So it really was a game changer. 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.640 That's an example of when fear can motivate for good. Right, 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.200 and you're there at this crossroads, it's almost your tipping 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:51.320 point of Okay, I better get off my butt and 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:55.120 go apply myself. How do you feel like? She besides 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.280 the fear unlock that in you, was it the tough 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:58.440 love well. 0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:01.640 It was also just positive reinforce of saying, you know, 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:03.319 she knew I was smart, and she knew I wasn't 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:06.320 applying myself in and so she is good Catholic guilt. 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:08.240 She used lots of different tools in her tool kit. 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.480 But she's like, Hey, I'm going to go study for 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:12.880 three hours in the library. Do you want to go 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:14.199 with me? And of course the answer was going to 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:17.280 be yes. So she modeled the behavior that she wanted 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:20.000 me to do. I started going to mass with her, 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.240 just living the life that I was actually proud of 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:26.120 as opposed to just being kind of lost. I was 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:29.200 lost before we started dating, and then she really just 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:32.400 focused me on, like, you know, what are you going 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:35.000 to be doing after college? Because that matters to me. 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:37.240 We were having conversations right out of the get go 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:38.880 of like what kind. 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.280 Of man are you going to be when you grow up? 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.880 And I was doing a lot of reflection and saying, well, 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:45.920 I want to be somebody she's super proud of, which 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.760 started and manifested with well, if I want to go 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.160 out and have an awesome career and achieve great things 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:52.640 and be able to do good things and. 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:54.720 Help her give back to the world. And make the 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:55.520 world a better place. 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:57.600 I got to get in gear, and I got to 0:14:57.640 --> 0:14:59.840 get totally motivated, totally focused, and so it was really 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:03.320 just about focus, motivation, and then unleashing what I had 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:06.280 in me. But I just was wasting until she kind 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:07.840 of showed me the light. And then I emulated her 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:12.160 behavior of just really ruthlessly attacking studying and then going 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.600 to mass and just grounding myself in the right things 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:17.000 as opposed to just wanting to party or do other 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:18.520 things that. You know, we still had a lot of fun, 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:20.200 don't get me wrong with Yeah, we had a great 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:22.080 college time and tons of fun. 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:22.800 The whole way. 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.880 Seems like she, from such a young age, had all 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:27.360 of her ducks in a row, and she knew what 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:29.120 she wanted, and she knew what she was looking for 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:30.840 in a life partner. Where do you think that came 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:31.640 from instead of her? 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:32.920 You know, it's funny. 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.720 I always reflect that because her dad was a very 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:38.800 successful businessman and a wonderful man, one of the kindest 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.600 people you'd ever meet. She always told me, I don't 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:43.800 want you to be a workaholic because my dad was, 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:45.560 and we didn't get to spend enough time with them. 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:49.680 So I was always on the fence of like, does 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:51.240 she want me to be like her dad or not? 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:54.160 I think underneath the surface level of that one comment, 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:56.720 which I tried to balance all that I failed miserably 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:58.760 throughout most of my career of not being a workaholic. 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.400 But I try to be leave as much at work 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:04.000 when I get home, try to be way more present 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.120 to our kids than her dad maybe had the opportunity 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:10.440 to be in his career. Once I exhibited those behaviors 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.120 that were like her father of the work ethic and 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.520 the career ambition, I'm going to lead to be a 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:18.440 great provider and provide our family with a great life, 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:21.000 and then allow us to give back to things that 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:24.480 you're passionate about, Audrey, our church or whatever it is, 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.520 We're going to have the means to do that. You're 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:28.320 not going to be with some guy that we're hoping to, 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:30.680 you know, just scrape by and always going to be 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:33.280 struggling to keep a job or something like that. So 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:35.680 it really I think it all came back for she 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:38.120 was looking for what she knew, and I think most 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.920 people do fall back on, you know, their family experience 0:16:40.960 --> 0:16:42.920 and what does good look like and certainly her dad 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.560 was an amazing guy and great business person and just 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:46.200 a kind soul. 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.320