Speaker 1: Hey, guys, what's good? What's popping? Welcome to this show,
Speaker 1: my show. It's a girl, Amada La, and you're listening
Speaker 1: to Exactly Amada, a production of iHeart and thank you
Speaker 1: so much for tuning in. I am so grateful for
Speaker 1: all the love and support. I see you guys hitting
Speaker 1: me up on the Instagram account Exactly Amata giving me
Speaker 1: you know, good comments, good reviews, and I'm loving it
Speaker 1: because this show and today, like every other episode, I
Speaker 1: always try to spice it up. Some episodes are educational,
Speaker 1: but today it come okay, a combination because I really
Speaker 1: want to know how am I supposed to handle certain situations?
Speaker 1: And I'm sure at some point you've been through it,
Speaker 1: so tell me if you can relate. Look, today's topic
Speaker 1: is about social media and relationship boundaries meta. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter how beautiful you are, it doesn't matter how much
Speaker 1: money you have helped you are Oya, men will cheat regardless.
Speaker 1: It's social media flirting considered cheating. I want to know
Speaker 1: what you think. What about dming them? What about giving
Speaker 1: them legs? Hearts? I have a guest, but of course
Speaker 1: I have my producer Alex, who's gonna join me today
Speaker 1: and He's gonna give me the male perspective on these
Speaker 1: social media boundaries as far as relationships are concerned. And
Speaker 1: we're not alone. Just like I mentioned before, let's break
Speaker 1: down the guests that we have today. She has been
Speaker 1: featured on True TV's Laugh Mobs, Laugh Tracks. She was
Speaker 1: part of HBO's Inns and you could also catture on
Speaker 1: Comedy chinnas HBO Max Vanessa Gonzalez, Welcome to the Thanks
Speaker 1: so much for having me. Guys. Of course, of course,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming in today, for joining
Speaker 1: because I really want to know how you feel about
Speaker 1: these things because life has changed so much in social media.
Speaker 1: Are you in a relationship? Married? So that I read
Speaker 1: to mingo, what's your what's your story? I have a
Speaker 1: boyfriend and we're gonna be eight years. This justmberum, but
Speaker 1: I'm not No, I'm not married yet. Mom, calm down, everybody,
Speaker 1: but everyone keeps asking why and when and who? How
Speaker 1: does this work? A boyfriend for for eight years? Why
Speaker 1: what happened? Everything? That's the funny thing is everything's going good.
Speaker 1: He loves me, he supports me, he knows that I'm
Speaker 1: on this career path with comedy, and he's been there
Speaker 1: every step of the way. I feel like the big
Speaker 1: thing that I've had to learn with being in a
Speaker 1: relationship is not letting everybody else's was that I don't know,
Speaker 1: you should be married by now or he probably are
Speaker 1: like everybody else's opegative. Yeah, And I'm like, but I
Speaker 1: know the truth. He's here, we're good. So who's more
Speaker 1: eager to get married? You? Him, your mother? My mom?
Speaker 1: For sure. I think she she wants the wedding for
Speaker 1: her and and you know, I feel like I owe
Speaker 1: her because I didn't have a concinea and that was
Speaker 1: heartbreaking for her because I'm the only girl, and so
Speaker 1: that was a big deal. And she was now with
Speaker 1: a wedding. She's like, don't do this to me. Don't
Speaker 1: take that from me. Please, you have to have a wedding, right,
Speaker 1: So she wants that, But me and him, I told
Speaker 1: them I don't want a surprise, Like I'm not here
Speaker 1: waiting for somebody to ask me, will you marry me? No,
Speaker 1: we're adults. We're gonna talk. If you want to marry me,
Speaker 1: let's have the conversation. I don't want to be surprised
Speaker 1: in a park and it's all cold or whatever, okay,
Speaker 1: And we have had conversations and we both do want
Speaker 1: to get married, and you know, every every day we
Speaker 1: kind of like, will you marry me? Will you marry me? Well,
Speaker 1: then I'll ask you this much. In these eight years
Speaker 1: of relationship, honestly, has it been a rollercoaster of emotions
Speaker 1: or do you think that your relationships? You know, it's
Speaker 1: been neutral, We've been good or been like up and
Speaker 1: down all over the place. Oh, it's been a lot
Speaker 1: of ups and downs. You know. We we live when
Speaker 1: we met, three months later we moved in together. It
Speaker 1: was hap and then about three years after that, I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm moving to la I want to pursue comedy.
Speaker 1: So he wasn't ready yet. So then we did long
Speaker 1: distance for two years, and then the pandemic hit and
Speaker 1: then I came back and then so we're living together again.
Speaker 1: So we've been through it all. Have you had Have
Speaker 1: you had any social media inconveniences anything that has cost
Speaker 1: you know, your relationship to be have a little friction
Speaker 1: because of social media? No, thankfully, No. I get more dms,
Speaker 1: you know from guys, a lot of older guys that
Speaker 1: are like, I want to take care of you and
Speaker 1: I just show him to him and we laugh about it.
Speaker 1: And you're also on the road a lot, right, So
Speaker 1: tell us a little about your your comedy career, because
Speaker 1: you did mention it your alluded to in the beginning
Speaker 1: of the episode, so like for us, tell us a
Speaker 1: little about a little background on this because obviously the
Speaker 1: people won't know. Guys are gonna get into your dms
Speaker 1: because you are in entertainment just like I'm outa is
Speaker 1: and you're out there putting yourself, you know, in front
Speaker 1: of thousands of people. So yeah, I mean, well, I
Speaker 1: am on the road right now with Chelsea Handler. I've
Speaker 1: been opening for her and I've been doing my own
Speaker 1: headlining dates. But um, yeah, I mean I get those dms,
Speaker 1: but I don't answer them. I don't even I just delete, delete, delete,
Speaker 1: block delete, because for what I don't. I feel like
Speaker 1: if if my mind was trailing off and I did
Speaker 1: want to have those thoughts, I would gather. I think
Speaker 1: that's why people do it when they're like Puss on board,
Speaker 1: I'm going to talk to this stranger or whatever. But
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't ever go there. And yeah, because
Speaker 1: I feel like it's just a messy, messy road. You're
Speaker 1: walking in mud at that point, and if you start
Speaker 1: texting people back, yeah, I'm sure, I'm mana. Have you
Speaker 1: had Uh we're gonna get into the whole Adam Levine thing,
Speaker 1: but how close I'm out. Have you been to to
Speaker 1: something similar to Vanessa? I mean, like you, your dms
Speaker 1: must be blowing up on the daily. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: my dms be crazy. And I'm not gonna lie. I
Speaker 1: have cheated. I have social media cheated. I Am going
Speaker 1: to be honest, and I know it's terrible, but Domina,
Speaker 1: I mean, this is exactly a matter known filters uncensored.
Speaker 1: I didn't think that social media necessarily was cheating till
Speaker 1: somebody else did it to me, because I just felt like,
Speaker 1: sometimes you just want to feel like Mina, I just
Speaker 1: want to feel I still got it. Go get talk
Speaker 1: to me, me and them like, oh my god, yourself.
Speaker 1: I'm like, thank you. Only messages, no patris or nothing,
Speaker 1: no WhatsApp, no exchanging the phone numbers, no, none of that.
Speaker 1: But you know, I've had had convert Wall being in
Speaker 1: a relationship. I have had certain conversations that I feel
Speaker 1: if he would have done it, I would have felt
Speaker 1: like that was mad, disrespectful, mad and unappropriate. So social
Speaker 1: media didn't necessarily get me in trouble per se, or
Speaker 1: sometimes it did because it would accuse me of cheating
Speaker 1: or talking to like the most random person that I'm like,
Speaker 1: only if you knew that I am talking to somebody,
Speaker 1: but is that that person? And unfortunately, those little conversations
Speaker 1: can lead up if you don't know how to control it,
Speaker 1: it can lead up to other things. So it can
Speaker 1: be a little bit dangerous because I do get a
Speaker 1: lot of messages from like politicians, rappers. Yeah I'm not
Speaker 1: only if you knew all types of people ec no
Speaker 1: ayo mandun. They'll send somebody to you know, hit me
Speaker 1: up and then be like, okay, this information is actually
Speaker 1: for a political Blase Blase of Puerto Rico or something,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh yeah, okay, well, I mean I
Speaker 1: guess it's different. It gets intense in them DM. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because guys with money are hollering at you. I'm getting
Speaker 1: the four ones, yes, so this is that. That's what's funny, right,
Speaker 1: because you just mentioned someone else is writing these messages
Speaker 1: for someone with money or whatever of some type of celebrity.
Speaker 1: So that happened that was not the case for Levine.
Speaker 1: He wrote his own messages, He sent his own messages.
Speaker 1: These girls kept these messages and then publicly put it
Speaker 1: out there for everyone to see that he was, you know,
Speaker 1: sneaking into dms. He was talking about what he was
Speaker 1: going to name his daughter via these DMS, like he
Speaker 1: was getting deep into these conversations and he was lying.
Speaker 1: Then I didn't say that part. I said everything else,
Speaker 1: but I didn't say that bit shit, your your lying ass.
Speaker 1: You know you said it better way. So the only
Speaker 1: thing that happened was that he got caught because get
Speaker 1: the nick without them being meta. If I learned anything
Speaker 1: from my past two relationships, shit, is that you have
Speaker 1: to be with somebody that has something more to lose
Speaker 1: than you do. You can be with if you're going cheat,
Speaker 1: it's gonna sound terrible. That's why a lot of people
Speaker 1: cheat with married men, because you have more to lose.
Speaker 1: You're gonna make sure that I mean not Pino relaxation. Now,
Speaker 1: if you'll go with a single girl that's young, that
Speaker 1: has nothing going for her life besides the fact that
Speaker 1: you are a huge celebrity and huge name, or you
Speaker 1: have money, of course she's gonna make sure that everybody
Speaker 1: knows that they smashed and Tone said she went in
Speaker 1: the memo Hillo trying to get views in life that
Speaker 1: he'll went, No, I agree, and I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't understand why, Like, you know, when you're that
Speaker 1: famous in this age with screen shots and recording. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why would you risk it? Why, if anything,
Speaker 1: just go with another famous person at least? Oh my god. Right, yeah,
Speaker 1: he just went straight for although quote unquote models on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I think that's what that's what got to him. And
Speaker 1: it's just it's just crazy how I don't have any
Speaker 1: of you ever, and it doesn't have to do with dms.
Speaker 1: Have any of you had that problem where someone screenshot
Speaker 1: at something and shared it. I'll tell you this, Um, yes,
Speaker 1: I've had people to do They've done that to me,
Speaker 1: like even comments or messages that we've shared and they've
Speaker 1: shared it, like oh my god. My other nigga just
Speaker 1: answered me and she said, and I'm like, wow, you're
Speaker 1: such a groupie. Okay, I know not to a message
Speaker 1: you no more battle. I did make sure that on
Speaker 1: my past relationship, he sent an NDA moving forward, It's
Speaker 1: like you want to date me, you have to send
Speaker 1: an NBA. That's why if I speak, I say certain
Speaker 1: things and I do it very lightly because you know,
Speaker 1: I want to be fair. But legally, you can't say
Speaker 1: anything about our relationship, what we did, what happened, because
Speaker 1: I will sue you. I will sue you for everything
Speaker 1: that you don't have, and I'll make sure that your
Speaker 1: life is miserable because we had an agreement. So if
Speaker 1: you want to stick it to me, Bobby Meeta signed
Speaker 1: this paper right here. Yeah, okay, I love that, see
Speaker 1: too that Unfortunately, we live in this world where you
Speaker 1: can't trust anybody even if you're in love right now,
Speaker 1: you don't know what can happen tomorrow. You have to
Speaker 1: do that stuff. Whenever I got my first big check,
Speaker 1: I before I asked my boyfriend to marry me, I said,
Speaker 1: will you sign this prenup for sure? That's what I
Speaker 1: was going to ask you, Vanessa. Have you have you
Speaker 1: said those boundaries within the not only the relationship, but
Speaker 1: with anything else right Like you're um, you're in the
Speaker 1: public eye, So how far and how much do you
Speaker 1: guys share on social media? And how much you know
Speaker 1: of that is allowed when the relationship? Yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like we're both kind of with in terms of our
Speaker 1: private life and our relationship. We're both private about that.
Speaker 1: You know, he's a photographer, I'm a comedian. So we
Speaker 1: stick to just posting what we do and our brand
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. But yeah, I feel like what's
Speaker 1: helped us is that, you know, we share. I see
Speaker 1: his phone, he sees my phonduct. Here we go. She
Speaker 1: was going to jump in here, here we go. I
Speaker 1: don't have anything that h Okay, you check his phone,
Speaker 1: he checks your phone? Huh, not checking, not checking, not
Speaker 1: snooping like that, but like we'll sit next to each
Speaker 1: other and be like, oh, look at this message I got,
Speaker 1: and next to each other, look at this message. Because
Speaker 1: you know, when they're not going to send you a message,
Speaker 1: you put it plate moone. No, nobody's texting me. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't have that many dms coming in
Speaker 1: like you. I'm still over here, Like I say, it's
Speaker 1: just the snooped. Have you ever snooped in his phone? Never?
Speaker 1: You've never not, not any inclination or anything, even past relationships. No,
Speaker 1: I mean past ones. Yeah for sure. And get because
Speaker 1: that intuition was right and they were fucking around and
Speaker 1: doing all that, like your natural intuition is it when
Speaker 1: when when he's sleeping, where he's sleeping next to you,
Speaker 1: behind the bonus right there, it's right there, like you
Speaker 1: know he's not even going to roll over. You never
Speaker 1: feel like, let me just commo. No, and he falls
Speaker 1: asleep with it in his hand too, so I just
Speaker 1: always I have to put it away. No. No, I
Speaker 1: feel like we have very open trusting you know, we talk,
Speaker 1: we communicate, and it's just a feeling. Like I said,
Speaker 1: with those guys where your heart is telling you he's
Speaker 1: fucking around, then yeah, you fucking check the phone. But
Speaker 1: when you find that person where you really communicate shit
Speaker 1: and or that they know how to do it or
Speaker 1: that they know how to do it better, I am
Speaker 1: definitely there. Go. Now, let me ask you this in
Speaker 1: your relationship, right, since you guys are so open as
Speaker 1: far as your phones and things like that are concerned,
Speaker 1: do you have any social media boundaries with him? Is
Speaker 1: there anything that you're like, mita, you can't like this
Speaker 1: bitch pictures, don't talk to her or have you ever
Speaker 1: had those moments there was Well, it's funny because a
Speaker 1: lot of them are my friends. No. Wait, he's liking
Speaker 1: your friend's pictures. Okay, that's it. Yeah, where I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: you know he follows my friends, And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: you know a lot of the pictures are titties out,
Speaker 1: ass out and I'm like, well, I guess I liked
Speaker 1: it too. So you're saying he can't like any of
Speaker 1: your friend's photos. He can't like any woman photo. Lady,
Speaker 1: Hold up, let me tell you something. If if yo
Speaker 1: man my man meal and meal that his mother gave
Speaker 1: birth to him for me, If my man starts to
Speaker 1: follow my friends, okay, cool, my friends better be ugly,
Speaker 1: because like she better be like missing all her tea.
Speaker 1: She better be all the way messed up. If you want,
Speaker 1: if you want to be my friend's friend, she better
Speaker 1: not be fine. None of my fine friends you can follow.
Speaker 1: And if you follow them, I better not. No, you
Speaker 1: can't follow them. You just can't follow them. And you
Speaker 1: better not be liking her pictures. And if you like
Speaker 1: her pictures, she better be dressed conia with a dress
Speaker 1: all the way covering her ankles. If I see you
Speaker 1: liking her pictures, we got a problem. We got a problem.
Speaker 1: You can like somebody that we don't know that we
Speaker 1: don't have in common, but if somebody that can come
Speaker 1: to my house that we hang out with you, you
Speaker 1: guys are like liking each other and you guys are
Speaker 1: dming each other. What's happening? Are you guys having conversations
Speaker 1: that I don't know about because you can still have
Speaker 1: them without following each other. But the main thing, do
Speaker 1: it discreetly that I don't even suspect that something funky
Speaker 1: is happening. And I'm saying that to say this. At
Speaker 1: the West Scene recently, I was talking to this guy.
Speaker 1: I really wasn't into him, but he wasn't too me
Speaker 1: and I basically, you know, after my father, my daughter's
Speaker 1: biological father, I kind of felt traumatized and I just
Speaker 1: chose not to be with anybody else. I haven't had
Speaker 1: sex with anybody else, I haven't gone out on dates
Speaker 1: with anybody else. Nothing. So he was so come, okay,
Speaker 1: pushy hit that mean whatever, But I'm not going on
Speaker 1: with you on a date. I am going to be working.
Speaker 1: If you want you to just tag along, tag along
Speaker 1: with my kids and my mom and my mom's godmother combos.
Speaker 1: Not just to get two of us. It's not happening. Whatever.
Speaker 1: Then I have a little get together in the house
Speaker 1: at the apartment. We were celebrating my new purchase from
Speaker 1: one of my airbnbs in the Dominican Republic, and I
Speaker 1: invited a friend. Tell me that we're not really close
Speaker 1: like that, we've seen each other a couple of times,
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, you're here in dr let's
Speaker 1: hang out. I was like, all right, come, I'm doing
Speaker 1: a get together. Let me tell you this bitch starts
Speaker 1: having shots, having a thousand shots. I had a little
Speaker 1: shot that's say, because I'm a lady and I'm hosting
Speaker 1: the I'm hosting the party. Yes, and those she started
Speaker 1: to get bending over. She went there in boodhish shots
Speaker 1: come thud, she started bending over. I never said anything.
Speaker 1: I was just looking at her, like, bitch, what the
Speaker 1: point was that? Then he asked her for her Instagram
Speaker 1: in my house and he was like, oh no, just
Speaker 1: so that. Um. I found that later because you know,
Speaker 1: my intuition said go see if they're following each other.
Speaker 1: Boom they were following Eachet And I said, why is
Speaker 1: y'all following each other? Anyways? Then she told me d
Speaker 1: k Oh I was in the elevator, and he told
Speaker 1: me to hit him up in the DM and just
Speaker 1: to say hi, so that he can follow me back
Speaker 1: and say it cost. And then it's weird to me
Speaker 1: because every time he writes me, he deletes the messages.
Speaker 1: Every time I write him, he'll he'll just read it,
Speaker 1: answer me, but then he'll delete the things that he
Speaker 1: that he says. And he gave me his number, but
Speaker 1: I didn't answer in time and I saw that he
Speaker 1: deleted it. Oh. So my question is what are really
Speaker 1: the boundaries for social media when it comes to your
Speaker 1: relationship or when it comes to your even your own friends.
Speaker 1: What are the things you're not supposed to do? For example, one,
Speaker 1: if you have a friend and your friend has a
Speaker 1: man or a girlfriend or whatever, don't follow them on
Speaker 1: social media just out of bidding seep your morals, don't
Speaker 1: follow them if you follow them only like family pictures
Speaker 1: or pictures with your homeboys is any or you know
Speaker 1: your home girls any. Just those pictures don't give likes
Speaker 1: and they're by themselves looking sexy or not that shit.
Speaker 1: Don't do it, okay. Rule number one thousand, don't let
Speaker 1: up into d ms. Okay. So there's rules to it.
Speaker 1: Are there any rules for you, Vanessa that you would
Speaker 1: like your man to follow? Yeah, I mean I agree.
Speaker 1: I agree that, like I let him follow and stuff.
Speaker 1: But if he's like texting him like, oh I wanna,
Speaker 1: how are you and how's the I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we're not we're not trying to talk to them. I'm
Speaker 1: okay with the follow, but I relate to you with like,
Speaker 1: you know, I had a lot of past trauma, dealing
Speaker 1: with bullshit guys who lie a lot and they tell
Speaker 1: you and you're the only one, you're the world, and
Speaker 1: then it's it's hard to get over that shit and
Speaker 1: it's hard to finally trust someone. That was the biggest
Speaker 1: issue in the relationship I have now is me getting
Speaker 1: over that trauma because I kept putting it on him. Wait,
Speaker 1: as a as a male perspective, here on the round table,
Speaker 1: here Vanessa and a Mada, I want to know, like, like,
Speaker 1: I have a best friend in his life. Does sexy
Speaker 1: costplay on only fans right? Nothing? No nudes, no, nothing,
Speaker 1: just you know, she dresses up like characters from X
Speaker 1: Men or whatever? So is it bad? And we're boys,
Speaker 1: Like we're like really close, can I like his wife's
Speaker 1: picture on Instagram. There's nothing. It's like like wearing a
Speaker 1: bathing suit. Is that bad? No? No? No, yeah, yeah, No.
Speaker 1: Is your homeboy your boy? Is he in that picture
Speaker 1: with her? Most of the time, he's not. Most of
Speaker 1: the time he's not. No, no, no, we're not. No,
Speaker 1: we're not doing it. So but no, that's a liotle
Speaker 1: question too, Okay, okay, So is it okay for you
Speaker 1: to follow your girlfriends or your homeboys girl on like
Speaker 1: an only fans page just to support You're just being
Speaker 1: there as a support system because you know she's making money.
Speaker 1: This is to support the family. Look for a twelve
Speaker 1: ninety nine every month. No, you can support her family
Speaker 1: through her only fans and that's your homeboy probably. So
Speaker 1: if they're okay for you to follow, I just want
Speaker 1: to know, I don't. And you know, only fans is
Speaker 1: a part of social media. Is just a closed paywall,
Speaker 1: social media wall sectional social media because Instagram is doing
Speaker 1: the same thing. They have now a paywall for your Yeah,
Speaker 1: So for me, it's a no, I'm not gonna do that, obviously.
Speaker 1: I am definitely not gonna do I drink that crosses
Speaker 1: a line when you're paying money to see someone else's
Speaker 1: wife naked. No, you're supporting that. You're supporting your girl,
Speaker 1: your Homeboys girls, aren't. She got a business business. I
Speaker 1: have a business too, Send me twelve dollars. Okay. So so, okay,
Speaker 1: So only fans is off limits. So we already had
Speaker 1: that established. Only fans is off limits, even if they're
Speaker 1: just wearing costumes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so too,
Speaker 1: because you can ever know, like if if you happen
Speaker 1: to if they happen to take that next step. And
Speaker 1: last year we had Ali Rayon here. She has definitely
Speaker 1: taken that next step, right, So, so, for instance, if
Speaker 1: they were to do that, then you know that that
Speaker 1: local media if you guys are gonna go have a
Speaker 1: couple of drinks or everything, how awkward would that be? Right?
Speaker 1: You're like, hey, so I've seen your bits. No, I'll
Speaker 1: ask you this. How about this? What about if you
Speaker 1: find out that your Homeboys girl has an only fans
Speaker 1: and he don't know about it? Would you say something? Man?
Speaker 1: It's the same thing as if you see your Homeboys
Speaker 1: girl out with another man in the street, would you
Speaker 1: say something to your homeboy like, that's not my business.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna act like I didn't see it, but
Speaker 1: you said, Vanessa, I'll let you answer this because this
Speaker 1: one's kind of tough. I'm like, I'm on the border
Speaker 1: for that, and I'm like, I don't know, like do
Speaker 1: I step in? Yeah, Vanessa, what do you think? I
Speaker 1: think if I think if if it's your homeboy, I
Speaker 1: think if a dude sees another dude's girl on there,
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, you should be like do you know
Speaker 1: she has this? Or you think would he get mad
Speaker 1: at you for seeing it? There? You go, Oh, that's rough.
Speaker 1: I think I think that I would slowly hint because
Speaker 1: I don't want anything bad. I don't want my name
Speaker 1: to be brought up in it, in the arguments or
Speaker 1: in the fight, or even if it's a secret that
Speaker 1: he's trying to keep. And you're like, hey, by the way,
Speaker 1: I know this, Like, you know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: get into that situation. If it's out in the public
Speaker 1: is different, you know, Yeah, I know, I'm telling I
Speaker 1: don't know. Listen, I know that they're gonna come for me.
Speaker 1: They're gonna come for me. I already know because that's
Speaker 1: what happens. Do you tell your friend that you see
Speaker 1: her man cheating and she's still gonna be with her man,
Speaker 1: and they'll say, yeah, her man's gonna look at you
Speaker 1: like you can't trust his bas like now you're caught
Speaker 1: up in the middle of it. But I probably won't
Speaker 1: say like, oh, yeah, he's hitting on you. But I'd
Speaker 1: be like, I saw, you know, I saw whatever George.
Speaker 1: I saw him at the mall with his friend. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were really nice. They were having smoothies together and everything.
Speaker 1: That's that's his cousin Jose I you know her, and
Speaker 1: I basically I basically told you without telling you, oh,
Speaker 1: I thought that they were just friends. That was though
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I saw, I'm kind of letting you know.
Speaker 1: And to bring it in full circle, it all happened
Speaker 1: because of a simple following. DM. Oh, here's another question.
Speaker 1: An issue I had in my past relationship was I
Speaker 1: saw that my ex only followed what I called quetos
Speaker 1: only a whole bunch of quetos quatas to me, are
Speaker 1: all the girls that only have their titties out there
Speaker 1: ask out thongs. So I would saw, I would see
Speaker 1: who they were, who he was following consistently, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: why are you doing this? I don't understand. I don't
Speaker 1: mind you following a couple, but all the people you
Speaker 1: follow is only females. Is it okay? Is it not
Speaker 1: okay for your significant other to follow a certain type
Speaker 1: of women consistently? Does it bother you? Does it not?
Speaker 1: Is it just social media? It doesn't you know? How
Speaker 1: do you feel about it? I feel like if it's
Speaker 1: if that's he follows, like, yeah, we have a problem,
Speaker 1: Like come on, go on the explore page, look at
Speaker 1: some cakes, look at something else, destination, not just titties
Speaker 1: all day. No, that's that's too much. Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel like if that's the only interest, then that's
Speaker 1: a red flag, right, that's all he wants to look
Speaker 1: at on the phone. Red flag. That's what he's doing
Speaker 1: this whole You know, social media boundary things can go
Speaker 1: on and on forever because there's so many things we
Speaker 1: can talk about. For example, how was dating ten years
Speaker 1: ago in comparison to how things are now? How has
Speaker 1: social media affected the way that we view relationships? We
Speaker 1: no longer date necessary in person. We spend more time
Speaker 1: texting each other, and we're tapping each other and face
Speaker 1: timing each other than we actually do having physical contact.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many things to be spoken about
Speaker 1: when it comes to social media and boundary even dating apps.
Speaker 1: These pages, these new Apple Snapchat that at one point
Speaker 1: we used to use them supposedly just to share each
Speaker 1: other's daily content, but at the same time we knew
Speaker 1: that it would delete. So when it first came out,
Speaker 1: everybody was just sending each other's pictures, videos, nudes, all
Speaker 1: types of stuff. And you would never know that your boyfriend, wife, girlfriend,
Speaker 1: whatever have even those pages. So social media, the Internet
Speaker 1: is a blessing, but at the same time, I feel
Speaker 1: like it has been very damaging for relationships. It's been
Speaker 1: very damaging. Even when you have your social media page
Speaker 1: and you have a whole bunch of people that you
Speaker 1: don't know commenting on your relationship, given your advice or
Speaker 1: telling you, oh, you should leave your man or leave
Speaker 1: your girl, or instead of encouraging you to figure things out,
Speaker 1: work it out or whatever. However, shut us to those
Speaker 1: that have found love through social media, those that know
Speaker 1: how to maintain a realistic relationship, that don't expose everything
Speaker 1: and everything, like every time you have an issue you
Speaker 1: posted on social media, every time that you're having you posted.
Speaker 1: It's important to have boundaries and know how to separate
Speaker 1: real life from what social media life is. And I'm
Speaker 1: so glad Vanessa that you came through to tell me
Speaker 1: because honestly, as much as judg mental as the rest
Speaker 1: of us can be about your relationship, because you haven't
Speaker 1: gotten married, but you've been in a happy relationship for
Speaker 1: eight years, we need to hear more situations like that
Speaker 1: that you don't have to follow mun to be in
Speaker 1: a successful, happy relationship and still be in that space.
Speaker 1: So I really want to thank you for joining in today.
Speaker 1: Shout out to you and your booth thing. If you
Speaker 1: guys ever get married, I wants to go, and if
Speaker 1: you don't, it don't matter because I'm still happy for y'all.
Speaker 1: Alice as usual, thank you so much for joining in
Speaker 1: and always giving us your male perspective on things, because
Speaker 1: the truth is, we do need to listen to men
Speaker 1: a little bit more sure I agree, I agree as well,
Speaker 1: and Vanessa, real quickly, can you tell us where our
Speaker 1: wonderful audience can follow you and watch you well, y'all
Speaker 1: could send me dms at Vanessa JC Comedy on Instagram
Speaker 1: and Twitter. Don't be too nasty on there, and my
Speaker 1: website Vanessa Comedy dot com. Thank you Vanessa so much
Speaker 1: for coming in today. I can't wait to see what
Speaker 1: you guys think about today's episode. Please let me know
Speaker 1: at exactly amata on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and all that
Speaker 1: good stuff. Thank you guys so much for being part
Speaker 1: of exactly amata, and like I said before, don't forget
Speaker 1: to find us at all our social media platform at
Speaker 1: exactly amata, and to our YouTube channel where you will
Speaker 1: be able to watch us every week by searching exactly amata.
Speaker 1: This has been a production of Ihearts Michael podcast Network.
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