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Speaker 1: It's another Jube. Hello, Hi, I was looking for Amy.

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Speaker 1: This is Amy. My name is Colby. I'm a friend

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Speaker 1: of Meredith. Oh yeah, yeah, she said you might be calling. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I need a little bit of legal help. And she

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Speaker 1: said you were an attorney and might be able to

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Speaker 1: um answer some questions for me maybe. Yeah. Um, let's issue. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think I have a really solid case and with

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Speaker 1: some good legal advice it could help me win. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: tell me what's going on. Well, I was at my

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Speaker 1: friend's house the other day, okay, and I was playing

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Speaker 1: with her cat, okay, and the cat scratched me. Huh.

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Speaker 1: Now it didn't break skin or anything, but it hurt

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Speaker 1: pretty bad. Okay, And I want to sue. Oh okay,

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Speaker 1: Well I've had I've had nightmares cat scratching me. It's

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Speaker 1: all I can think about, and so I'm ready to

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Speaker 1: do it. I want to sue. Um, have you thought

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Speaker 1: about exploring alternative solution before you file a lawsuit? You

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Speaker 1: mean killing the cat? No, I thought about that, but

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Speaker 1: I think that might be taking things too far. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think you're right there. Um No, I meant maybe

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Speaker 1: more like just talking to her about it. That's the problem.

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Speaker 1: I can't. Why not, she's a cat. You can't talk

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Speaker 1: to her because of the cat. No, I can't talk

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Speaker 1: to the cat about scratching me. We can't communicate. Oh okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're a lawyer or you're a lawyer, right. I mean

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Speaker 1: you should know that humans and cats can't talk. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know that. Um, but what about your friends? She

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Speaker 1: can't talk to cats either. Okay. Can you talk to

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Speaker 1: your friend about the cat? Listen. I love my friend, Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a good friend to me, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to sue her and I don't want to hurt her feelings,

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Speaker 1: but I do want to sue the cat. Want to

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Speaker 1: You want to sue the cat? Yes? Um, I know

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Speaker 1: it's probably never been done before, but I think that

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Speaker 1: it's high time that we step up and stop this

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Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And I want to be one of

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Speaker 1: the first people to sue a cat. You know. Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't know you personally, you know, but it's I mean,

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Speaker 1: just from what you're telling me, I'll give you. I'll

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Speaker 1: give you a little background on who I am personally.

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Speaker 1: I'm a nice guy who was hanging out at my

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Speaker 1: friend's house and was viciously attacked by a cat. You

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Speaker 1: said it didn't break the skin. It didn't break it

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Speaker 1: didn't break the skin. But it's not what it did

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Speaker 1: to the skin. It's what it did to like, my

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Speaker 1: whole life. I mean, I can't even drive past a

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Speaker 1: petco without having a panic attack. This cat is causing

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Speaker 1: uchanic attack. I drove past a pet store the other

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Speaker 1: day and I had to pull over on the side

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Speaker 1: of the road and I cried for an hour and

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Speaker 1: a half thinking about what this cat did to me.

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Speaker 1: Are you seeking any professional help? Yeah, that's that's what

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Speaker 1: I'm doing with this phone call right now. I mean

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Speaker 1: outside of legal Matt, Like, do you have a therapist?

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Speaker 1: I get what you're saying. Yes, I've been having to

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Speaker 1: go to intense therapy, right That's what I need to say. No, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not telling you to lie. I'm telling you maybe

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Speaker 1: you should actually think about seeing a therapist. This cat

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Speaker 1: has ruined my life by scratching me. Listen, and you

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Speaker 1: know what I want to do. Because it's got one

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Speaker 1: of those big cat towers. I want to sue it

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Speaker 1: and I want to take everything from it. I want

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Speaker 1: to take its house, that little cat's tower. I want

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Speaker 1: to take all of its toys. I want to take everything,

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Speaker 1: all right. I want to make that cat regret today

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Speaker 1: that it scratched me. Dude, have you got some kind

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Speaker 1: of screw loose? Okay? Are you a nut job? I

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Speaker 1: mean you're not going to legally take some cat's play

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Speaker 1: toy away from it? Because yes I am. And I

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Speaker 1: want that cat to come home every day and see

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Speaker 1: that empty space by the wall where it's little cat

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Speaker 1: tower used to be, and know that it's not there anymore,

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Speaker 1: and that it's hit rock. I don't think a cat

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Speaker 1: would even register. You know what I really want? You

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Speaker 1: know what I really want? Absolutely, don't tell one. I

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Speaker 1: really wish that that cat could take the stand. I

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Speaker 1: know it's impossible, but I want. I would love to

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Speaker 1: hear its explanation for what it did. I thought you're

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Speaker 1: the one who told me humans can't talk to I

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Speaker 1: know it can't, but I would just love to hear

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Speaker 1: what I had to say, don't you well, wouldn't we all?

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Speaker 1: I would love to hear what that cat had to say.

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Speaker 1: See a little furry paw place it on the Bible.

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Speaker 1: You know I'm the good book, right, the other one?

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Speaker 1: You know, mew for the whole car. Finally you get me.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly what I'm saying. I was being sarcastic. Listen,

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Speaker 1: what this has been a very entertaining phone call. You

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Speaker 1: have given me something to talk about later tonight. But

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Speaker 1: I need to go now, so good luck. With all

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Speaker 1: that off the record, I want to let you know

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Speaker 1: I know why the cat scratched me, and it's because

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Speaker 1: I pinched one of its nipples. Dude, you are not okay.

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Speaker 1: What is rub with you? This is actually jewel from

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Speaker 1: brook and Jewel in the morning. I'm moving ninety two

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Speaker 1: point five doing a phone tap on you. Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Your roommate Meredith set you up. She says. As a lawyer,

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Speaker 1: you get just bombarded with strange legal questions all the time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: nothing like this, not like this. I'm serious. So I

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Speaker 1: do want to see that cat. I can I count

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Speaker 1: on you to be my lawyer. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in.

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Speaker 1: I's go get this cat. Ye wake up every morning

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Speaker 1: with jubal foone taps weekday mornings on the twenties, holy

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Speaker 1: On removing ninety two point five