Speaker 1: He's a sexy, sexy man with a sexy sexy plan
Speaker 1: because he ain't no stuck us. Look, it's so fun.
Speaker 1: You could try like a truck clean like a plan.
Speaker 1: You can solid yunger fool, We'll try so we never
Speaker 1: gets a dye. Say so far ticking up a lot
Speaker 1: of band wins. And he's a guy. Ye he ain't
Speaker 1: no stand and he doesn't have cheese on a nighttime
Speaker 1: sandwich because everybody knows he's a burget de bandit The
Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy Podcast, Why High Run California? Thank you? Oh my,
Speaker 1: that was lovely. That's invigorating right there. It's exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: really great. I'm Ron Burgundy if you if you, I
Speaker 1: didn't know that, and uh this, I'm joined by the
Speaker 1: lovely Carolina here. Ah. I like those boots, thank you.
Speaker 1: They're like kind of combat boots, right because you mean
Speaker 1: business tonight. I'm not messing night. It's going to be
Speaker 1: a war. No, I wouldn't say that. I just I
Speaker 1: thought they were kind of between you and me. No. No, okay,
Speaker 1: we're cool? Are we? I think we're cool? Okay me too? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're cool? Are you people cool? Is everyone? Thank you? Guys?
Speaker 1: So much for buying tickets. All the proceeds are going
Speaker 1: to Save the Children, which is an amazing charity helping
Speaker 1: families in the Ukraine right now. So we're very happy.
Speaker 1: Thank you for Largo for allowing us to do that.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you White, we literally just got on stage. No,
Speaker 1: I know you're tired a little bit. I was out
Speaker 1: all last night, uh way into the morning. I just
Speaker 1: had a spectacular night. It was I thought we were
Speaker 1: just going. I left the theater at and I just
Speaker 1: kept going. And uh, who was that with you? Anderson
Speaker 1: Peck pretty great guy. It was me Anderson, Dr Dre
Speaker 1: M and M. He came out, he came out, he
Speaker 1: flew in from Detroit. Sure, it was oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: Christine Aguilera and we were just out and carousing around
Speaker 1: and someone had a convertible laughing. The wind was blowing
Speaker 1: in our air, and we were You said you were
Speaker 1: going home, that no one was hanging out Anderson game
Speaker 1: you call and UH said, hey, you want to make
Speaker 1: some magic, and I said, let's do it. Uh. You
Speaker 1: should have been there. You would have loved I wish
Speaker 1: I was. Yeah, your family was there. I think your
Speaker 1: mom Denise was there. She was having the best time
Speaker 1: and just saying, Caroline would love this. A lot of
Speaker 1: your friends from Malibu. Hi, oh my god. Oh your
Speaker 1: grandmother was there from Arkansas, from Arkansas. What's your name again? Grandma?
Speaker 1: But does have a problem now. Her real name is
Speaker 1: Lou Lou, yes, Lou, and uh, and you guys partied.
Speaker 1: We just partied, just laughing. Thank god you weren't there,
Speaker 1: because if you had shown up, it had been like
Speaker 1: the cops showing up. I don't know Caroline is here.
Speaker 1: I would have just tried to have fun with everyone.
Speaker 1: And yeah, but that's what you think is happening, but
Speaker 1: it's not what's happening. I would have been great to
Speaker 1: see my grandmother and misses you terribly. She's like Carolina
Speaker 1: never calls. I didn't even know everyone. I flew all
Speaker 1: this way to see her. But this is so fun.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Dr Dre. Are you a real doctor? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's not familiar and we're just and we we went
Speaker 1: to the old spaghetti factory, um, which is abandoned. That's abandoned,
Speaker 1: but uh it turned in this late night club scene. God.
Speaker 1: I even got on the ones and twos and let
Speaker 1: some things rip. And we stayed up till dawn, and
Speaker 1: then we were all, you know, get a little bush
Speaker 1: rack and we were driving up through Griffith Park and
Speaker 1: there was a pregnant dear and it looked like it
Speaker 1: was in trouble. I said, you guys, she's about to
Speaker 1: give birth, and we gathered around. I delivered a beautiful
Speaker 1: baby fawn glistening and it's ambiotic fluid. I saved the
Speaker 1: umbilical cords supposed to save the court for stem cell research. Yes, um,
Speaker 1: and it it kind of got its, you know, sea legs,
Speaker 1: sea legs, right, and then looked at us, winked, and
Speaker 1: then bounded off into the forest. Son came up, and
Speaker 1: I swear there was a chorus of angels. Scene. You
Speaker 1: missed it? Yeah, I mean sorry. I got a phone
Speaker 1: called here phones. Oh it's a telemarketer. Just keep hanging
Speaker 1: up and we'll keep going. I know how to handle this,
Speaker 1: all right. Hello, Ah, Catherine Grenier, just say no, one
Speaker 1: hang up, yes speaking, it's not What do you think
Speaker 1: you're doing? What's that? Would I like rain gutters put
Speaker 1: on my house? Yes? I would just say no absolutely.
Speaker 1: Credit card number yes, watch this five six two, social
Speaker 1: Security No, don't don't absolutely to four six, five, seven, three?
Speaker 1: Uh huh No, Tuesday's great, oh god for my rain gutters. Yes,
Speaker 1: oh yes, someone will be there. No, thank you, Paul.
Speaker 1: Uh huh oh my address behind the Bob's Big Boy
Speaker 1: in Burbank. Mm hmm, it's a bungalow, right, thank you.
Speaker 1: I okay. So here's what's about to happen. Catherine's going
Speaker 1: to get a knock on her door. The guy's going
Speaker 1: to show up to install rain gutters, and she's going
Speaker 1: to be like, I didn't order these, and they're gonna
Speaker 1: go ahead and install rain gutters in her house and
Speaker 1: she's just gonna have to put up with it. I mean,
Speaker 1: are you cool with your information being out there? Your
Speaker 1: credit card number and they're probably be charged to your account.
Speaker 1: But that's just the cost of of putting one over
Speaker 1: on them. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, But that's
Speaker 1: I mean, and they call me a lot. So how
Speaker 1: much do you think your pranks have accumulated over the years.
Speaker 1: Half a million? That can be worth it. But I've
Speaker 1: gotten a lot of extraneous work done for a lot
Speaker 1: of people around the community. They must just be shaking
Speaker 1: their heads, going, well, I got a brand new screen door.
Speaker 1: I don't know how, but that's how I lived my life.
Speaker 1: And that's fun. Everyone having fun. So far, there is
Speaker 1: some audience participation that we need to get to. All right, listen,
Speaker 1: we're working on a catchphrase. I don't know how well
Speaker 1: it's going. I'm gonna be honest about that. We've spent
Speaker 1: a lot of work, um, but if you guys say
Speaker 1: it with me, maybe i'll know. So Ron Burgundy show
Speaker 1: r Bro that's from That's from Scooby Doo. If you
Speaker 1: were wondering that. It's a placeholder for now, but if
Speaker 1: I ever hold it up, it would be great if
Speaker 1: we could all This dog gets in a lot of
Speaker 1: trouble and for some reason, well he's a dog, but
Speaker 1: he speaks, is a bit of a speech impediment, and
Speaker 1: whenever he gets in trouble, he's trying to say it
Speaker 1: come out, and we thought maybe it could work. And
Speaker 1: that's just so fun, you guys, when you hear it
Speaker 1: from where I'm sitting, it's hilarious. So our first guest,
Speaker 1: this may be the most important person in the world
Speaker 1: we're about to bring up. Uh, And he's someone I've
Speaker 1: been following for a while um, he's uncovered the greatest
Speaker 1: cover up since the moon landing. Oh, he's very he's
Speaker 1: a very avant garde, dangerous thinker. I'm already it's a
Speaker 1: voice we need to hear more from. So please, if
Speaker 1: you'll welcome Mr Peter mcin do Peter mac and do
Speaker 1: please go bout. Thank you, Peter, Oh wow, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming onto the show. Appreciate this. It's
Speaker 1: a pleasure to be here. It's pleasure to actually have
Speaker 1: a platform for something. A lot of people never give
Speaker 1: a platform soon. So I'm very happy to be here.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I really been following your work and uh,
Speaker 1: it's it's astounding. It's astounding what you've discovered. And uh,
Speaker 1: it's very meaningful. It's and it's something this audience needs
Speaker 1: to be educated on. Um. I want to start off
Speaker 1: by saying that we offered a voice modulation for this interview,
Speaker 1: uh so that when it comes out in the podcast,
Speaker 1: you don't actually hear Peter's voice. But this young man refused,
Speaker 1: very brave. So I just I'm I'm sorry, I just Uh,
Speaker 1: when we talked about this, he said I could come
Speaker 1: share yes, serious information. You said, you're the media man yes,
Speaker 1: I was telling you the media never lets us have
Speaker 1: a platform, and since sense to us, here's your platform. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just don't want to be laughed at if I'm
Speaker 1: gonna share stuff. I just I just want to come
Speaker 1: on and share my truth without being ridiculed people laugh
Speaker 1: at me in the streets. Uh, I'm sorry, I'm cool. Well,
Speaker 1: let's just start by. Let's just start by. You have
Speaker 1: discovered something that birds are not real? Can you elaborate? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean all elaborate. Hey, listen, if this, if if
Speaker 1: even one of you and this audience has awakened tonight,
Speaker 1: then it's worth it's worth it for me. It's worth
Speaker 1: it's worth it for me. Um. I'll take good elaborate discovered. Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't discover this. I'm the public information
Speaker 1: officer for a movement called birds Aren't Real. Um. And
Speaker 1: just to clarify, these m a little goofballs in the
Speaker 1: front row laughing around. Uh the that's where we usually sit,
Speaker 1: the goofballs. I'm a normal guy, sure, just like you guys.
Speaker 1: I'm a normal guy, average Joe. I wake up in
Speaker 1: the morning, my pants on, on my phone. I struggle
Speaker 1: with social media. I'm on my phone, and I believe
Speaker 1: that that every burden this guy is a robot, and
Speaker 1: that uh is a position I would hope you know
Speaker 1: by uh, is is kind of like the normal opinion
Speaker 1: on birds in this nation. So you have uncovered you
Speaker 1: have uncovered a government plot. UH. Correct me if I'm
Speaker 1: wrong here. But over the course of decades, the government
Speaker 1: has has bird deicide killed over sixty to seventy million
Speaker 1: birds twelve billion twelve government I stand corrected, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean wrong. Yeah, I mean we we've had many good
Speaker 1: talks about this. Uh. And so that every bird we
Speaker 1: see is actually a drone. Yeah, I mean, so you know,
Speaker 1: we we live in a country right where we're told
Speaker 1: lies all the time. Uh. The mascot of our country
Speaker 1: is a bald eagle. Every state has a state bird. Uh.
Speaker 1: The president doesn't talk, he tweets, you know. Um, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's it's gonna keep being like this, or it's it
Speaker 1: gonna no, don't don't. They'll get it all right, um.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean basically what happens is quite simple too.
Speaker 1: Plus they're spying on us constantly. Yeah, I mean the
Speaker 1: United States government genocide of these birds. Uh. From through
Speaker 1: two thousand one they put crop dusting airplanes. Is this
Speaker 1: is literal? Is this a media hit job? I'm not
Speaker 1: here to be we we gotta give him a little
Speaker 1: candy to keep him in the game. So just Peter,
Speaker 1: just go with it. All the birds are spying on us,
Speaker 1: which makes perfect sense to me. Um, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: we had a really great conversation. Basically, just once you
Speaker 1: start asking questions, kind of de program yourself from the matrix. Uh,
Speaker 1: dig a little deep your shovel, um, start digging a
Speaker 1: lot of stars to unravel. You know, you wonder why
Speaker 1: human beings can't touch power lines without getting shocked, but
Speaker 1: birds can sit on all day, all day long, all
Speaker 1: day long. Hey you, hey guys, instead of a row,
Speaker 1: can I get why? Yeah? I wonder what's going on?
Speaker 1: I wonder what's going on there? You got my brain
Speaker 1: cooking right, and you got the gears turning, You got
Speaker 1: the grid of law on. Yeah. You know, you start
Speaker 1: to ask questions and a lot starts to unravel. You know,
Speaker 1: you start looking at the statistics of bird poop falls
Speaker 1: on cars, okay, instead of on How did that come?
Speaker 1: How did that get measured? We have we have independent research.
Speaker 1: I had a whole team of people. Okay, we have
Speaker 1: we have a team of independent researchers for I know
Speaker 1: I volunteered for. It's a little bit like Habitat for humanity.
Speaker 1: You sign up for cars. It was a great day.
Speaker 1: You gave us T shirts, We pulled a little vials.
Speaker 1: I mean, every every morning I have to start my
Speaker 1: day by washing off my car because the government likes
Speaker 1: to harass me. I drive. I drive a van around
Speaker 1: with information on it to share with people. And as
Speaker 1: I drive around, I always be followed by a flock
Speaker 1: of birds following over me like like a cloud. And
Speaker 1: every morning when I when I wake up, U, the
Speaker 1: van is completely drenched in bird poop. Right, Um, so
Speaker 1: Ron joined me yesterday morning, right, and you know after
Speaker 1: I we got his fans to scrub it off together
Speaker 1: and get into some good and get get into some
Speaker 1: good conversations. You know. Do you think Alfred Hitchcock's The
Speaker 1: Birds was one of the first kind of ways to
Speaker 1: signal to us that things are not right? Yes? Yes,
Speaker 1: and Mini hidden meeting a lot of metaphors in that movie.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of metaphors in that movie. I mean,
Speaker 1: Alfred Hitchcock was a man who I would say was
Speaker 1: tapped in you know he was he it's over, It's okay.
Speaker 1: He was a man who sometimes. I mean, listen, I'm
Speaker 1: not just talking off of cold day done hard statistical facts.
Speaker 1: Here are you? Are you guys spiritual people? Spiritual? Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So I I in my dreams every once in a while,
Speaker 1: Alfred Hitchcock comes to me, um, usually joined by the
Speaker 1: by the founding fathers, and they all lay hands on
Speaker 1: me and they say, thank you for what you're doing,
Speaker 1: for the for what you're doing for this nation. Thank
Speaker 1: you for what you've done. We're so proud of you.
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't know what it's like that Benjamin
Speaker 1: Franklin on his knees in front of you. You know,
Speaker 1: that's thank you, so thank you so much. Um, that's
Speaker 1: gotta be a thrill. It's it's a dream. It's a
Speaker 1: dream come true. In fact, I always you always get
Speaker 1: that hypothetical question if you could have dinner with any
Speaker 1: five people, I always start with Benjamin frank All five
Speaker 1: founding fathers, please, Yeah, I mean I think we can
Speaker 1: all learn something from them. And people compare us that
Speaker 1: the birds aren't real. Movement to a conspiracy theory. Do
Speaker 1: you take hioascar at all? I'm not sure what that is?
Speaker 1: What is the it doesn't matter. Edward Snowdon comes to mind.
Speaker 1: How long before you feel you will have to look
Speaker 1: for asylum in another country? Well, honestly that begs another
Speaker 1: question because you're onto them. But are they on to you? Oh,
Speaker 1: They're heavily on to me. I've had assassination attempts. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of people see the you know,
Speaker 1: the bird drones as surveillance drones. But bird drones have
Speaker 1: multiple applications. You know, there's there you know, vultures for instance,
Speaker 1: or of the public sanitation department. They're keeping the road
Speaker 1: kill off the highways. Um hummingbirds are attacked drones, and
Speaker 1: they have led to some of the most traumatic experiences
Speaker 1: in my life. So please don't. I don't understand why
Speaker 1: you're laughing. That's why if you if you ever let
Speaker 1: if a hummingbird ever sneaks into my house, I start
Speaker 1: screaming like a banshee. Yes, and I used to keep
Speaker 1: a whistle on me if I saw one, just just
Speaker 1: to have a loud, shrieking noise let people know. Then
Speaker 1: I transition thought to take this fight into my into
Speaker 1: my own hands and started carrying around a little tennis
Speaker 1: racket from when I saw them coming for me. You know,
Speaker 1: I could kind of get them right as they were
Speaker 1: coming through. Um. But I mean, yeah, it's not a
Speaker 1: fun life being a verge ruler. It's not a life.
Speaker 1: You know. Sometimes I wish I were. It's like a
Speaker 1: living hell. There's a heaviness about you. There's a heaviness.
Speaker 1: You've been here. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not here
Speaker 1: to joke around. I have to ask about the cowboy
Speaker 1: hates the cowboy hat. Yeah, why are you not wearing
Speaker 1: a cowboy hat? I mean, I think you guys think
Speaker 1: it looks nice. Well, thank you, thank you. I mean
Speaker 1: I wear it because I think it looks nice. I
Speaker 1: think I want to look manly. Um. I think it
Speaker 1: adds to um, you know, kind of my my my, my,
Speaker 1: my aura as man of the house. Um. But I
Speaker 1: also wear it because it shields my face. Are you
Speaker 1: in a house where you need to be the man
Speaker 1: of the house. I view the world as my house,
Speaker 1: and I've got to be the man. M hmm. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean i'd like that on a T shirt.
Speaker 1: The world is that the world is my house, and
Speaker 1: I'd like to be the man talk to me about ostriches.
Speaker 1: Ostriges are running around the African plains and what are
Speaker 1: they survailing? Ostriches are a scary case, man. I mean
Speaker 1: I was once. I was once in an alleyway and
Speaker 1: I got attacked by an ostrich here in Los Angeles. No,
Speaker 1: this was in Arkansas. Actually, Okay, so they're sending ostriches
Speaker 1: into Arkansas. Yes, I was. I was in Arkansas. I'm
Speaker 1: walking down a dark alley. World is messed up, yes,
Speaker 1: a messed up country. Sometimes I wish I was still
Speaker 1: ignorant to a lot of this, you know, because I
Speaker 1: feel like, since I have this information, it's like my
Speaker 1: more response, it's my moral responsibility to share it with people. Now, Now, Carolina,
Speaker 1: here is what you might call a skeptic. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not a fan of those. I saw a pigeon recently, really, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and a seagull. I just I feel like I see
Speaker 1: birds pretty frequently. That's super cool. Can you prove to
Speaker 1: me that they're real? Yeah? Can you prove to him? Yeah? Here,
Speaker 1: let's just let's do a little experiment right now. Can
Speaker 1: you prove to me the birds are real right now
Speaker 1: in this moment, and you grab the picheen and rip
Speaker 1: its head off to see it if it had I
Speaker 1: would never do that. Okay, this is my concern this
Speaker 1: it's just full of circuitry. You are getting on the
Speaker 1: side so quickly and not too but this information. He's
Speaker 1: a high i Q individual. Thank you. No one's ever
Speaker 1: said that, thank you, thank you. I just think this
Speaker 1: is how kind of a conspiracy theories build. You know,
Speaker 1: you get like it's okay. I'm just saying, like, you
Speaker 1: get a small theory that's kind of nebulous, and then
Speaker 1: people aren't able to poke holes in it because it's
Speaker 1: so far out. So what do you say to skeptics
Speaker 1: or what? Don't say it? What do you what do
Speaker 1: you have to say? All right, I can call her
Speaker 1: that because she works for me. That's not a rule.
Speaker 1: That's not a rule. What do you say to people
Speaker 1: like Carolina with those views? I'll tell you right now, Carolina,
Speaker 1: I'm so impressed that you're keeping your cool right now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: trying the best I can. I hope one of you
Speaker 1: is awakened through this experience and do the word you
Speaker 1: are sir. Thank you say it's good to have round. Carolina, Listen,
Speaker 1: I used to be like you. I used to be
Speaker 1: just like you. I used to be I would. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna use the word sheep. You don't skeptical, a skeptic.
Speaker 1: It's not interchangeable. Uh, Listen, I used to be blind
Speaker 1: just like you. And I don't look down on you
Speaker 1: for that. I don't look down on you for for
Speaker 1: being still in the program alright? For no, is that
Speaker 1: what like reality is called? Well, I think de programmed
Speaker 1: individuals such as Ron and myself understand the reality of
Speaker 1: what's happening in our country right now. Hi, I Q individuals. Well,
Speaker 1: A lot of professors are are parts of the birds
Speaker 1: are real movement as you know, a lot of profess scholars,
Speaker 1: gurus and teachers and all all kinds of former chess
Speaker 1: champion mm hmmmmm. People who see who see patterns and
Speaker 1: can crack circles, you know, And that that that that
Speaker 1: is the majority of the people that take up our
Speaker 1: our movement, Carolina, listen, see patterns and crack circles, you know.
Speaker 1: I love your terminology. I love the cut of your jib.
Speaker 1: I love that hat. You're trumpled up tie and you're
Speaker 1: cuffed little jeans. Love everything I'm seeing, I love it.
Speaker 1: I love you too, wrong, I love you too. So
Speaker 1: there is a government hit out on you right now.
Speaker 1: There's pretty much always a government hit. You have personal security,
Speaker 1: you must, uh, you know. I I prefer to take
Speaker 1: it myself, you know. And I try. I try to
Speaker 1: give him a hard time. I try to make it
Speaker 1: hard to find me. I wear this hat, you know,
Speaker 1: with this it hides my face from You're wearing the
Speaker 1: same hat every time, though, No, I'm just I would
Speaker 1: say it could be an instinct of maybe mix up
Speaker 1: the hats. I was just kind of thinking more in
Speaker 1: the vein of like, if I can give the intern
Speaker 1: at the Pentagon, who's watching a live stream of the
Speaker 1: bird drone, If if I can have them go, oh
Speaker 1: dang it, you know, once in their day because they
Speaker 1: can't see me. That Peter guy, I would, Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: kind of a cool guy, you gotta admit. Sometimes to tournament,
Speaker 1: I'll look right in the bird's eyes sometimes and I'll say, hello, Hillary, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start doing that, you know. Yeah, yeah, paracute
Speaker 1: at home pact. Yes, it's I know that. I use it.
Speaker 1: Two oh boy, you love that bird. That bird one.
Speaker 1: Now I'm really questioning coming here in the first place.
Speaker 1: I think it's a real bird, this one parakey. I
Speaker 1: think it's the one bird left in that captivity. I mean, listen, run,
Speaker 1: I I've nursed since it was a little chick. It
Speaker 1: sounds like, well, what what is its name? Its name
Speaker 1: is Alexander Hamilton's beautiful name. Yeah, I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't, you know, look down on you for that.
Speaker 1: You're my friend. I would never look down on you
Speaker 1: for that. But um, you know, would highly advise you
Speaker 1: to think about some things and there could still be
Speaker 1: real birds. I mean, listen, we love birds, you know,
Speaker 1: we we love real birds. That's the one thing people
Speaker 1: planet their love of birds. Yes, yes, let's talk about
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories in general. Of course, you know, some theories
Speaker 1: are crazy. We know. We know Hollywood elites eat babies,
Speaker 1: that's a fact. Uh. We know tacos were invented by
Speaker 1: pepto bismo, uh to increase sales for diarrhea diarrhea medication.
Speaker 1: In other words, so you get diarrhea, so you gotta
Speaker 1: buy the pepto bismo, is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1: But then there's some crazy ones too. Uh, faulty voting
Speaker 1: machines come to mind. I mean, how do we fight
Speaker 1: for truth in a world where truth is losing its grip?
Speaker 1: You're asking me, yes, well, I'm looking at you and
Speaker 1: we'll listen. I don't know, honestly, as you're saying all
Speaker 1: those I don't like, I don't know. There's sort of
Speaker 1: this affiliation. People like to group us up with conspiracy
Speaker 1: theories when I would prefer the term of facts based organization.
Speaker 1: You know something. Uh, we're not We're We're nothing like
Speaker 1: those whack jobs, you know. I mean, and hey, you
Speaker 1: know if you if that's you, that's you. But it's
Speaker 1: just we don't. I don't speak on anything I can't
Speaker 1: prove in a court of law, and everything that I'm
Speaker 1: bringing to the tap of everything we've talked about would
Speaker 1: definitely stand up in the court of law. Right now,
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I think you're happy to be your
Speaker 1: first witness on the stand, just so you know, thank
Speaker 1: you for that. It might come to that eventually. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm ready, I hope. So. Yeah. I mean, I on
Speaker 1: the question of ruth, if I had to say anything
Speaker 1: about it, I would just say do your own research.
Speaker 1: You know, turn off, turn off your TV, take it
Speaker 1: all down, do your own do do do your own research.
Speaker 1: Uh specifically on I get all my information from a
Speaker 1: website called birds Aren't Real dot com. That is a
Speaker 1: is a great site to go on. It's my primary
Speaker 1: source for information on the internet. There's the information about gatherings,
Speaker 1: pot lucks, Acoustic Guitar Munity build. Yeah. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: we have something called the ber Brigade that is our
Speaker 1: boots on the ground activism network across the nation. You know,
Speaker 1: we have members and elders. Ron just joined. He's just
Speaker 1: a member, uh but uh, you know one day he'll
Speaker 1: be an elder in our ranks. Um. And you know,
Speaker 1: we're looking not just to spread the word, but we're looking,
Speaker 1: you know, for people to ask their own questions. And hey,
Speaker 1: not just take my word for it tonight, you know,
Speaker 1: not not just hear me saying birds aren't real tonight
Speaker 1: and then go home believe in it, because you make
Speaker 1: the same mistake that you made when you thought birds
Speaker 1: were real in the first place. You know, you just
Speaker 1: heard somebody say something and accepted it. So I just
Speaker 1: want people to ask their own questions. I think the
Speaker 1: more that happens, the close to read the truth in
Speaker 1: this country. Let me give you a list right here.
Speaker 1: Atlanta Falcons, Philadelphia Eagles, Seattle Seahawks, Chicago Blackhawks. St. Louis Cardinals,
Speaker 1: Baltimore Orioles, Toronto Blue Jays, Arizona Cardinals, Pittsburgh Penguins, Anaheim Ducks,
Speaker 1: New Orleans Pelicans, Toronto Raptors. What's up with all these burgs?
Speaker 1: Does that make your blood boil when you look at
Speaker 1: all these teams with these insidious names? Do you just
Speaker 1: say they're piles of human garbage? And this is how
Speaker 1: I know that you're so smart, is because you see
Speaker 1: the pro bird imagery and the propaganda that's all over
Speaker 1: this country. It's out of control. It's out of control.
Speaker 1: Every state has a state bird. There. You've mentioned that
Speaker 1: there's a lot of college teams with birds. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you have to ask yourself, Okay, why why they do
Speaker 1: they actually do think that we're that dumb? I mean,
Speaker 1: think about my migration for instance. You know, one of
Speaker 1: the dumbest concepts of all time, doesn't make any sense
Speaker 1: at all. Yet as a society, people have come around you,
Speaker 1: the government, the common course, school teacher, system is teaching
Speaker 1: people that an entire species of animal leaves its natural
Speaker 1: habitat for an entire half of a year each year
Speaker 1: and then comes back just get their jollies to just go, yeah,
Speaker 1: it gets it gets too cold form here, they go
Speaker 1: closer to the equator. Uh, and they come back, and
Speaker 1: they come back to a habitat that they're gonna have
Speaker 1: to leave again in six months. So do you think
Speaker 1: that has something to do with like weather? Not at all.
Speaker 1: I think I'll tell you exactly what's going on. And
Speaker 1: I love the I love that you're asking these questions.
Speaker 1: Why are you looking at me like that you know what?
Speaker 1: I should stay out of it? I love No, I
Speaker 1: love that you're asking these questions. It has nothing to
Speaker 1: do to do with weather. It's actually the way the
Speaker 1: government swaps out old bird drowne models with new bird
Speaker 1: drowsy So we have this pie. I didn't prove anything.
Speaker 1: They gotta they gotta, they gotta fix the old models, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: And meanwhile the whole country is like the birds are
Speaker 1: gone again for six months, just like just like normal.
Speaker 1: I don't know anyone saying that, but I've you're not
Speaker 1: hanging around the same circle. As I am walking walking
Speaker 1: through the streets, I hear a bird obsessed country. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: it's true, especially with all the hot chicken places now,
Speaker 1: we're really obsessed. So if birds aren't, if I'm eating
Speaker 1: a hot chicken sandwich, what am I eating? If that's
Speaker 1: not burden meat? Is that some sort of I don't know. Ron.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of a little something called the impossible Burger?
Speaker 1: I have not. Do you have any vegan friends? Well
Speaker 1: to time, let me tell you this. If you're vegan,
Speaker 1: get out of my way. I don't. I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk to you. The government makes the best synthetic
Speaker 1: meat on the market. This is this is an indisputable fact.
Speaker 1: I have it. I have it at Chick fil A.
Speaker 1: What's the purpose of synthetic meat? Well, you know the
Speaker 1: government when they replaced every bird with a drone, you
Speaker 1: can't have them all with wires and gears inside of them, right,
Speaker 1: Their whole plans failed. So you know what they need
Speaker 1: to do is keep up the act. They need to
Speaker 1: keep it up as if there's real meat, real birds.
Speaker 1: You know, I have a lot of vegan friends for instance,
Speaker 1: that they're vegan. Communities have totally turned against them because
Speaker 1: they eat almost exclusively Chick fil A. It's the best
Speaker 1: synthetic meat on the market. Um, so eating chicken is
Speaker 1: essentially eating vegan. Yes, eating any bird all is eating vegan.
Speaker 1: So if you're a vegan, welcome to the best synthetic meat.
Speaker 1: You go ahead eat all the chicken you want. The
Speaker 1: government's truly outdone themselves. Truly, Colonel Sanders is just rolling
Speaker 1: over in his grave right now. You know, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, because I mean you have to ask
Speaker 1: the question why why are there so many birds? Why
Speaker 1: is there a whole holiday about a bird? Thanksgiving Turkey?
Speaker 1: You know, they got they gather, they gather society around, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, to prey to the bird around a table.
Speaker 1: Put bird. I was walking by a house the other
Speaker 1: day during Thanksgiving. I looked in the window. They were
Speaker 1: it was a bird in the middle. They were all
Speaker 1: praying to it. So you know, um, I think they
Speaker 1: might have just been praying together around the table with
Speaker 1: the bird in the middle. Okay, it's a little yea, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to be convinced on that one. Peter,
Speaker 1: this has been stunning. As many questions as you've answered it,
Speaker 1: it creates a thousand more. Um, you gave out your website.
Speaker 1: If if we all have more questions we can we can,
Speaker 1: of course reach out to you. We can't thank you.
Speaker 1: I know you're a busy, busy man. We can't thank
Speaker 1: you for spending this wonderful time with us and enlightening
Speaker 1: us on this situation. It's been a true pleasure. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, Pa, thank you. Okay, what the look.
Speaker 1: We've been having a lot of you know, silliness here
Speaker 1: on the podcast, and I needed to do some hard
Speaker 1: journalism and uh, listen, I try to talk about news
Speaker 1: stories that matter to me. I've asked you to watch
Speaker 1: Rachel Mattow. I've sent you watching Midpost articles. I've sent
Speaker 1: you on copies of the New York I don't have time.
Speaker 1: You were up all night giving birth to a deer.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm dedicating most of my time. Things like that.
Speaker 1: I just wish that there had been, UM, you really
Speaker 1: went you want me to vet things more with you,
Speaker 1: that'd be great. Oh my gosh, that would be amazing,
Speaker 1: just you know, poke holes and things a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I thought that was pretty solid. I
Speaker 1: just thought it's fascinating, right, I mean, next time you
Speaker 1: see this flying through the air, you're gonna think twice, right,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think I'll think once you're
Speaker 1: protecting yourself against the drone. That's why I'm going to
Speaker 1: walk around from now on every time in public, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna wear a ski mask. Oh that's actually more concerning,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to be followed. No, just if
Speaker 1: you need to protect your face where the cowboy hat
Speaker 1: ski mask kind of looks concerning, Maybe a ski mask
Speaker 1: and a cowboy hat double up be extra safe. That
Speaker 1: was That was I don't know if I'll sleep at night,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if I'll sleep at night
Speaker 1: knowing that. You know all of that, Let's change it up.
Speaker 1: Let's let's bring out our next guest. Let's lighten up
Speaker 1: the mood here. And you know, you know, I just
Speaker 1: I love stand up comedians. Do you guys love stand
Speaker 1: up comedians? Who doesn't? Largo is famous for him. I've
Speaker 1: seen so many good stand ups here, and uh, we
Speaker 1: have one of the funniest stand ups in the world.
Speaker 1: This guy. He's uh, he's not a household name yet,
Speaker 1: but you can bet your bridges. He soon will be.
Speaker 1: He's young and up and coming comedian. Uh. And he's
Speaker 1: just oh my god, he tickles me. Uh, please welcome,
Speaker 1: Like I said, young and young and just super young, fresh,
Speaker 1: fresh voice up comedian by the name of Tim Hidecker.
Speaker 1: Can you come on out here? Hey, how's gone? How
Speaker 1: to God? How's gone? M hm? How's going? Everybody good
Speaker 1: to be here? Like Ron said, my name is Tim Hidecker,
Speaker 1: I'm a stand up comedian. When so completely ruined my
Speaker 1: flow m hm, Like I said, my name is Tim Heidecker.
Speaker 1: I'm a stand up comedian. When I when I tell
Speaker 1: people that, they say, what do you mean? Like Tim Allen,
Speaker 1: I was like, he's already taking out. I just want
Speaker 1: to clear I just want to clear something up. Uh.
Speaker 1: I was just told about a couple of minutes or
Speaker 1: five minutes ago that this is a charity show and
Speaker 1: I am a comedian and this is what I do
Speaker 1: with Comedy is my life, comedy is my art, and
Speaker 1: I don't do it for free. I get paid to
Speaker 1: do it. So I just want to clear that up.
Speaker 1: All right, We're with you, and because that's not what
Speaker 1: that was not and maybe you I don't know who
Speaker 1: booked the show. But that wasn't explained in the request
Speaker 1: that my manager got. Anyway, can I do my thing?
Speaker 1: I just found out that I got a stalker. Anybody
Speaker 1: here have a stalker? Yeah? Actually it's just somebody trying
Speaker 1: to help me grow corn? What else? What else? I
Speaker 1: told my wife I was having an affair as she
Speaker 1: started throwing her started throwing my clothes out the window.
Speaker 1: Kid's gonna use son of a bitch, I go. You
Speaker 1: didn't let me finish the sentence. I said, I'm having
Speaker 1: I'm I'm having a fairly Brothers movie marathon. I'm having
Speaker 1: a fairly Brothers movie marathon. Somebody said, it's me uh
Speaker 1: on the Ron Burgundy? What is this? Uh? What is it?
Speaker 1: What am I hanging out with? What am I hanging
Speaker 1: out in Alaska with a Nobel Peace Prize winner Burr?
Speaker 1: I said, burg Gandhi, you got me? How about those
Speaker 1: Canadian truckers? H we love him, We love the Canadian truckers.
Speaker 1: I said, Canada's got the truckers. You got the when
Speaker 1: it comes to politicians. Sorry, sorry, that's all right. Um,
Speaker 1: Canada's got hockey, we got I got I've been hock.
Speaker 1: I hawk me gold rings because of inflation. What else?
Speaker 1: Oh uh, Canada's got snow and ice. That's just the
Speaker 1: name of the latest designer drugs that are that they
Speaker 1: have on the street, snow and ice down here. Everybody.
Speaker 1: Everybody stops me on the street, lady. Everybody says, hey,
Speaker 1: are you on TikTok? I said, no, I got I'm on.
Speaker 1: I have tik tac. I'm on. I use tick tac,
Speaker 1: I use tick tac. My wife, my dog's sick like that.
Speaker 1: My wife called me, says, yeah, they're gonna give him
Speaker 1: a cat scan. I said, what else? What else? What else?
Speaker 1: A lot of stuff going on in the world, You know,
Speaker 1: I just want to take a minute here. I know
Speaker 1: they're not allowing phones in this, and I think it's
Speaker 1: a good thing. I don't think we want people filming
Speaker 1: all these things because you never know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: And but I think if somebody can volunteer to take
Speaker 1: their phone out, is that okay? Can I have somebody
Speaker 1: take their phone out? Who wants to volunteer? Are you
Speaker 1: on social are you on social media and instagram? TikTok?
Speaker 1: I said, TikTok, it's TikTok, that's right now. But you're
Speaker 1: on Twitter or whatever. Do you mind filming something posting it?
Speaker 1: I mean you might get in trouble for this. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I want to because I feel like
Speaker 1: our leaders Biden, who's just Biden? His time? We got it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And uh, what's her name? What's the vice president? Kamela
Speaker 1: Kamala Harris? I thought, I thought, I want to say, now,
Speaker 1: don't slap me, don't slap me for this, but I
Speaker 1: have to say, Camela, come, Kamala Harri is maybe not
Speaker 1: the original color she was born with. That's not what
Speaker 1: I want you to film. Did you put that away?
Speaker 1: Put that away? Look at they went, they the jaws dropped.
Speaker 1: But now film this. Now film this. I have a
Speaker 1: message for putin. Tell me when you're rolling, because we're done.
Speaker 1: We're done with this bulls ready are you rolling? Resign her?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Oh? Thank you very much? Did I thank you? Guys?
Speaker 1: Thank you, Sam Heiderker, everyone, you guys so much. Come on,
Speaker 1: have a see yes, all right, let's see. Good to
Speaker 1: see you you too. Man. Post that, I dare you
Speaker 1: to post that? Truly amazing. Well, somebody's got to say it.
Speaker 1: And then, by the way, their Congress should impeach him
Speaker 1: at this point. Well, I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: how that system works. But the guys, you know, he's
Speaker 1: past his expiration day. What I mean? Yeah, I get
Speaker 1: what he's doing. What you do? Yeah, I mean, but
Speaker 1: you know it's a time and place or whatever. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't do. Yeah, just started a conflict. Sure, yeah, Caroline,
Speaker 1: I got Is that not the top? He's a fighter,
Speaker 1: you know, but I disagree with him? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: You check your material a lot, ah, so does he?
Speaker 1: Those are like conversation. I'm just yeah, I want to
Speaker 1: be I want to get it right. And you got
Speaker 1: it right, You got it right. Understand. You got a
Speaker 1: new watch there, right? I love it. Do you want
Speaker 1: to have one of these eye watches from Apple? These
Speaker 1: are awesome? Yeah, this guy's got it. Get up here.
Speaker 1: A lot of people I want to see what kind
Speaker 1: do you? Which one you have? What do you have
Speaker 1: the new one? Oh? Yeah I didn't. I didn't. I
Speaker 1: didn't bother with the new one. I'm just I'm happy
Speaker 1: with what I got. It's a couple of years old,
Speaker 1: works great. I love it. Yeah, it's got email and
Speaker 1: messages and monitors my health. Pretty fancy. The only complaint, now,
Speaker 1: the only complaint. I'm walking around. It's going ding ding
Speaker 1: ding ding ding ding. Right, this guy knows. This guy knows.
Speaker 1: You know. I'm walking into a store. I walk into
Speaker 1: uh yeah, story, I walk into p F Chas okay,
Speaker 1: and right, and the lady goes, what are you a
Speaker 1: pinball machine? She did not. It was a Panda Express.
Speaker 1: That's okay. I got a pound of Panda Express in
Speaker 1: me right now. By the way, you're like a load
Speaker 1: up with the pandit spicy, spicy, they die coke whatever, right,
Speaker 1: you pand Express a little diet coke. Oh yeah, do
Speaker 1: you have a like? Do you have like? I've never
Speaker 1: had the same thing twice. Yeah, it's just the way
Speaker 1: you do it. I just roll. I just go and
Speaker 1: I go to send me some send me something new,
Speaker 1: you know. Right right, I'm in there twice three times
Speaker 1: a week, don't matter, lunch, lunch, and dinner. There a
Speaker 1: couple of same day. Sure. Yeah, did you leave the
Speaker 1: fan expressors just stay there the whole time. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: walked out. It went back to work, right. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: doing uh you know, I just do freelance. That's what
Speaker 1: that's also photography or in addition to your stand up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: stand up doesn't take up so much time. I do jingles.
Speaker 1: Have been trying to work on jingles, fun fun you know,
Speaker 1: Oh Riley you no, oh that's not you big big fan.
Speaker 1: Oh you're a big fan of that. Yeah. I was doing, uh,
Speaker 1: working on so if you were going to do so
Speaker 1: you I'm sure you call your agent, says I'd like to.
Speaker 1: I want to get a meeting with the guy like,
Speaker 1: oh Riley parts. Oh yeah, I'm talking to the guy.
Speaker 1: I did get a lunch. It was kind of cool.
Speaker 1: I got a lunch with the one eight seven seven
Speaker 1: cars for kids, Right, you got a lunch with that
Speaker 1: guy with the guy who wrote that wait. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: the guy who wrote that song and performed it a
Speaker 1: lot of times. They performed, said, asked him how he
Speaker 1: broke in. Yeah, it's just like get to know you,
Speaker 1: a little meat and great. Yeah he didn't have much
Speaker 1: to say, didn't that much to awful. Still a good song,
Speaker 1: you got it. It's a great song. It's a great
Speaker 1: donate your I don't like how goes donate your car today.
Speaker 1: You don't need to look flunky. I didn't bring it
Speaker 1: up at lunch. I wouldn't. That part gets stuck in
Speaker 1: you know, in a bad way, gets stuck in the head. Anyhow,
Speaker 1: stand up. It's a I'm just fascinated, but it's a
Speaker 1: really it's a life. It's a lifetime. Oh uh, I
Speaker 1: watch a lot. Uh stand up. I find guys with
Speaker 1: like twenty five hits online and hear what they're saying
Speaker 1: and wait, molded different. I don't. I'm not saying I
Speaker 1: I just I get that. Then that gets me on
Speaker 1: It gets me on a route, you know. But just
Speaker 1: the world. I mean, how many people here just look
Speaker 1: around them and go yeah, yeah, there's a lot to observe.
Speaker 1: And then people take that and they like, uh like
Speaker 1: like Starbucks, right, I mean I could riff on Starbucks
Speaker 1: for an hour. Yeah, there's a lot there. Yeah. Did
Speaker 1: you who it? Carmel? You know? That's what I mean.
Speaker 1: That's what's funny about it. The thing if if I
Speaker 1: if you'll indul VENTI what is it? Well, if you don't,
Speaker 1: that's where I was gonna go ahead, go ahead, And
Speaker 1: this is this is it's tall grande vent three different sizes,
Speaker 1: but they all mean big in different languages. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. I think I like this one. I think
Speaker 1: this is remind me. But when when is? When is
Speaker 1: April fools Day? Is it? I mean, I'm like, hello,
Speaker 1: can it be today? You know what I mean? I get.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's Christmas for me. Oh you loves April
Speaker 1: fools Day. I love it. I'm just speaking of uh,
Speaker 1: speaking of Starbucks. My uh I did I did last year.
Speaker 1: I did something with my wife unbelievable. So she gets
Speaker 1: she intolerant. She goes get me a lot old milk latte. Right,
Speaker 1: that's how she sounds. It's pretty. So I go, I
Speaker 1: go to the behind the counter Starbucks. I go watch it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: excuse me, she's you should see the mouth on her.
Speaker 1: She's very rude. Okay, then it's fine. Anyways, I say
Speaker 1: I'll take a latte. Notice when I didn't say yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right? An hour later? Ye oh, by the way, honey, yeah,
Speaker 1: April fools Oh she was pissed. She was pissed. But
Speaker 1: that's when you know it's a good April Fool's gag. Pissed,
Speaker 1: very very true, stand up coming. I mean it's competitive rights.
Speaker 1: I mean, when you first had to start out, you
Speaker 1: had to find gigs are called gigs sets. Okay, what
Speaker 1: was that like to find a for a gig? It's sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm doing. I'm still doing. I'm still you know, I'm
Speaker 1: figuring out. I've been doing for lunch performing all over
Speaker 1: I'm doing lunch gigs. These days. You have lunch stuff,
Speaker 1: lunch acts, which is becoming a thing. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think a lot of the comedians are talking about it now.
Speaker 1: Is you don't want to stay out so late, so
Speaker 1: you do lunch. That's the lunch lunch. That's how. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's how. Where are you performing lunch shows? That?
Speaker 1: Because I love to catch one. Uh there's a Mexican
Speaker 1: place called Rubios, you know, Rubio's Rubio, not the not
Speaker 1: the big ears, not centator Rubio, which I I love
Speaker 1: to like, you know, goof on a little bit. Marco Rubio.
Speaker 1: What kind of name is that? Marco Rubio with the ears.
Speaker 1: I love that you have a clean act. Uh well,
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of stand ups today, you know
Speaker 1: kind of you know, like the ones Carolina likes. Uh
Speaker 1: use foul language, four letter words, you know, the D
Speaker 1: wordy F word to see where the sor you try
Speaker 1: to keep it clean. I mean, I say the B
Speaker 1: S word, which I think it's true. We're tired of both, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: we are, no question, I'm tired. That's my that's that's
Speaker 1: sort of my mottel unless my New Year's resolution. No, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: we're done. But you know, listen, these days you have
Speaker 1: to walk that fine line. You have to be so
Speaker 1: careful what you say to be. So I got in
Speaker 1: trouble the other day. I was talking about the bathrooms
Speaker 1: now with the all gender signs, right, go right, Hey,
Speaker 1: that's better than it used to be where it's ad restroom.
Speaker 1: Right because when I go to the restaurants, what am
Speaker 1: I supposed to do? Take a nap? So now I'm studying.
Speaker 1: I'm that's no disrespect anybody. Now, I'm I'm studying you
Speaker 1: right now, I'm studying the craft. And you delivered the
Speaker 1: punchline and you held it. I have to because they
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. These don't know what that
Speaker 1: singles to the art. It's like a roadmap, like it's
Speaker 1: okay to laugh. Now I'll tell you something, and no
Speaker 1: disrespect again, no disrespect and you people are who you
Speaker 1: are and not nothing's going to change that. But I
Speaker 1: did that nap bit that nap chunk right the restroom chunk.
Speaker 1: I got a standing of a few nights ago. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sometime sometimes exactly, And and the people at Rubio's loved it.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing a lot of TV executives are calling you
Speaker 1: up trying to get you to, you know, make the
Speaker 1: next us for this there's no places for us anymore.
Speaker 1: Are you looking to make a home improvement or a
Speaker 1: Jerry Seinfeld? Is that what I'd love to I'd love
Speaker 1: to do that kind of work. I have so many
Speaker 1: ideas for that setting. I have an idea, what's your
Speaker 1: what's your If you could do a sitcom right now,
Speaker 1: what's your idea? I would be a dad in a house.
Speaker 1: I'm already laughing. It's counts over there. There's dads and
Speaker 1: houses all over and my daughters are driving me nuts.
Speaker 1: How many daughters do you have? How many daughters? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I call him viny uh whatever. And I get home
Speaker 1: and maybe I live with There's a couple of guys
Speaker 1: there because we've fallen, you know, they've fallen on hard time,
Speaker 1: so staying with me old but old friends, old friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: different kinds of guys, you know, it's not all the same, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you got you want to have different characters, Yeah, different
Speaker 1: types rock and roll or whatever. You watch that show,
Speaker 1: No problem, Absolutely, I think that would be a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. Yeah. Yeah. And I would have been a
Speaker 1: guy that worked for the Trump administration. I think would
Speaker 1: be a funny angle one of the disgraced cabinet members
Speaker 1: for the heavy ones. I'd wear a fat suit. You've
Speaker 1: I'm impressed as to how much you've had it thought out. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I was running down, I was going down an angle
Speaker 1: with it, and I realized it's pretty close to something else,
Speaker 1: so I had to veer off. Yeah, yeah, sperm out
Speaker 1: with more. I I'm so in awe of you, and
Speaker 1: I just you. You you handle yourself with such ease,
Speaker 1: and if you just you got these people in the
Speaker 1: palm of your hand. And then I just and I
Speaker 1: actually wrote a joke that I'd like to try terrific
Speaker 1: if you'd let me, if it'd be all right, it's
Speaker 1: your show, did you like burg Gandhi could use that
Speaker 1: sometimes like that wait that you gotta do this by
Speaker 1: the way, that sells that blew me away when you
Speaker 1: did that. It opens a lot of doors Okay, So
Speaker 1: here's here's my joke. Here's my joke that I wrote
Speaker 1: down that, Hey, have you ever noticed when you order
Speaker 1: a hamburger at a restaurant you never get ham? What's
Speaker 1: the deal with that? It's like, if I say, hey,
Speaker 1: can I get a ham sandwich, You're gonna get ham?
Speaker 1: So what happened? If I asked for a turkey burger,
Speaker 1: They're gonna give me turkey? Right? It makes you think
Speaker 1: if I asked for a beef burger, would I get
Speaker 1: a ham sandwich? Should I stop? Yeah? I kind of
Speaker 1: what would I get if I asked for a spaghetti burger?
Speaker 1: A veal cutlet? That's good, thank you, I'm wrong burger
Speaker 1: any good night? Keep working on it. Okay, it's you
Speaker 1: make it look so easy. Case and well listen, almost
Speaker 1: like I pooped this out. By the way, I was
Speaker 1: gonna ask unless you've got a question me. Do you
Speaker 1: are you a coffee guy? Oh? I'm a what's your routine?
Speaker 1: What's my routine? I? Well, uh, I usually, you know,
Speaker 1: do a little French press action in the morning something
Speaker 1: like that. Let me turn you onto something. I've been
Speaker 1: doing this now for a couple I used to get
Speaker 1: the big pot of cop the big Mr Coffee go
Speaker 1: go go, go, go go go, but in the filter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been doing this. Cue cure rig Curig. You're called
Speaker 1: Curi Curi Curig coffee pots. Little guys with the yeah,
Speaker 1: pop them in. You got one cup of coffee. That's
Speaker 1: all I need. We don't have a lot of coffee
Speaker 1: drinkers in the house. Bing coffee done clean easy. Anybody
Speaker 1: have this, it's the best. If you don't. And this
Speaker 1: is not a very select few. It's high end, Yeah
Speaker 1: it is. It's not cheap. It's not cheap. It's a lot.
Speaker 1: It's much more expensive than a Mr. Coffee with a
Speaker 1: with the ground is. It's all messy. It gets in
Speaker 1: your discardag's disposal right and if you don't fill it
Speaker 1: up the night before, and that's a mess. Ku e
Speaker 1: r k go to this is on their site. You
Speaker 1: can order everything there. K you k e u is
Speaker 1: a k um k k k e U what k
Speaker 1: r ry are shut the hey? Hey Tim, Tim Tim
Speaker 1: dim damn damn Kim. He didn't mean that. He didn't
Speaker 1: mean that trying to get in mean that you're not helping.
Speaker 1: He's he's joking he's joking. Are you all right? But still?
Speaker 1: Hey you good lord? Ka kay? Is it started with
Speaker 1: a que now? It does not start with a quere
Speaker 1: trying to make fun of me? K you trying to help?
Speaker 1: K you r d I G. It's it's either ku
Speaker 1: or k EU. I don't know. Look it up KU
Speaker 1: R I G dot com. Are you like a paid
Speaker 1: spokesman for them? What? I am not? I just love
Speaker 1: the products and I get them sent to me. They
Speaker 1: got they have a they have a pod that's called
Speaker 1: a pod called Kappa Joe. It's not fancy, you know.
Speaker 1: It's liberal style coffee. It is. It's like a pot
Speaker 1: of It's like a seven eleven cup of coffee. It's delicious.
Speaker 1: I want to end right there. Yeah, And despite that
Speaker 1: brief ugly moment, Tim, you've been in the light. I
Speaker 1: do apologize, I really do. I wouldn't wear I wouldn't
Speaker 1: wear those kind of caps indoors though, Just leave them alone.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it looks like okay, by the way,
Speaker 1: shaggy right, he must be on some of that, I think, right.
Speaker 1: I thought, if he's hungry all the time, he's rolling
Speaker 1: those tight ones. Yeah, Tim, I'll let you go. Where
Speaker 1: can we look for you next? I know it's the
Speaker 1: Is it mainly Rubio's Rubio's in Glendale, Glendale Avenue and
Speaker 1: uh Wilson, I think it is anywhere else? Hopefully here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it'd be great if you had me back. Everyone breaks
Speaker 1: up Greaso. Yeah yeah, picked chickock side of ker what
Speaker 1: a stone cold pro He had some like I thought
Speaker 1: weaker moments, like when he talked about, well, you don't know, comedy.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I felt like it was kind of
Speaker 1: mean when he was having his wife floor. But you're
Speaker 1: not a big April fools. First, that's true, that's true.
Speaker 1: So and then he really freaked out at that audience
Speaker 1: member did. But the more I look out of my
Speaker 1: let's not worry about it. I'm on tim side. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: we're at the end of our show here. Um, it
Speaker 1: really flew behy was the crazy ride? It was more
Speaker 1: than ever of these are usually crazy pretty much. But
Speaker 1: we have one last segment that I like to end with.
Speaker 1: It's a little thing I call my take. Oh you
Speaker 1: can go. I'm sure by now you've become immune to
Speaker 1: the extraordinary news of last Sunday night. The one story
Speaker 1: that has been dominating news cycles, book club water cooler talk,
Speaker 1: especially here Intensiltown, the story that one man was caught
Speaker 1: down at the San Diego border trying to smuggle in
Speaker 1: sixty reptiles. Oh. I know, we're sick of talking about it,
Speaker 1: but the debate keeps going on. How how could he
Speaker 1: do such a thing? Where's the humanity? Dozens of of
Speaker 1: lizards and snakes were hidden in his pockets, pants, and
Speaker 1: and growing area. Think about that. Regardless of your ethical
Speaker 1: views of this situation, you can't deny that this man
Speaker 1: has guts. Right. Can you imagine trying to drive across
Speaker 1: the Mexican border with a bunch of lizards and snakes
Speaker 1: jammed in your crotch, trying to act casual or feel
Speaker 1: the sensation of a couple of gophers snakes sniffing your
Speaker 1: conus dios meo estradoso? No sorry, I think I just
Speaker 1: said my wife has large feet. Go back to our story.
Speaker 1: When asked by border patrol if he was going to
Speaker 1: declare any of the animals, he then decided to say
Speaker 1: there was nothing to declare because they were his pets. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm just a guy driving across the border with sixty
Speaker 1: reptiles jammed in my pants. They're my pets. No big deal. No,
Speaker 1: they like traveling like this, they prefer it, and so
Speaker 1: do I. Come on, man, get it together. You gotta
Speaker 1: have a better plan. I used to walk around cocktail
Speaker 1: parties with my pet Bullet Constrictor hanging around my neck,
Speaker 1: and people with say, 'ron that looks bitching. So I
Speaker 1: get the allure of having reptiles on your body, but
Speaker 1: I never stuck a box turtle in my Hanes underwear
Speaker 1: to go to the car wash. Look, we've all smuggled
Speaker 1: live animals across the border, all right. And if you're
Speaker 1: shaking your head, no, you're lying. It's just something you do,
Speaker 1: especially when you travel to other countries like Mexico or Florida.
Speaker 1: I mean, who hasn't come back into this country with
Speaker 1: a suitcase full of baby crocks or spider monkeys. But
Speaker 1: there's a smart way to do it and a humane
Speaker 1: way to do it. Let's not let one Yahoo ruin
Speaker 1: it for the rest of us. I remember when I
Speaker 1: had my first beer. Right, the next time someone comes
Speaker 1: up to you and says, is that a Yucatan box
Speaker 1: turtle in your pants? Or are you just happy? To
Speaker 1: see me. Stop, take the box turtle out of your
Speaker 1: pants and just say sorry it is a box turtle.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done that, but I am happy to
Speaker 1: see you. I'm Ron Burgundy and that's my tape. Thank
Speaker 1: you everyone. You've gotta wonderful audi, I'm Ron Burgundy, says,
Speaker 1: because he ain't no sucker, looking so bright, you try
Speaker 1: like a truckerwan like a planet. You this solid duck
Speaker 1: fool will try so we never get stuck up. Bright
Speaker 1: so far take up a lot of bandwids, and he's
Speaker 1: a god. He ain't no stand and he doesn't have
Speaker 1: He's on a night sized stand, which because everybody knows
Speaker 1: he's banded. The Ron Burgundy Podcast Nest