WEBVTT - The Magical Mythical White Man

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<v Speaker 1>Hey ba fam, Please follow us on Apple Podcasts and

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<v Speaker 2>Hey hey, hey, I try to say a little cuter cuss.

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<v Speaker 2>We're back. We're black, We're brown and in living color.

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<v Speaker 2>Last edition.

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<v Speaker 1>Shit the Marown edition color edition.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey else, Hey, I see well, I mean I'll be

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<v Speaker 2>seeing you, but like I see you in the world,

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<v Speaker 2>can see you.

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<v Speaker 1>It's nice to see your face. You look refreshed. You

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<v Speaker 1>look like your vacation is still sunk into the melanin popping,

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<v Speaker 1>Like everything is just glowing. How are you feeling your

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<v Speaker 1>first full week back?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm hot, flashing, just so, y'all though, Like, because so,

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<v Speaker 2>here's the thing, we are actually like you guys are

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<v Speaker 2>going to be able to watch us on the on

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<v Speaker 2>the you of the tubes. Yeah, because we're like I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like you guys, want to see how we interact,

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<v Speaker 2>like you know, we frand friends for real, for real And.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it has nothing to do with Instagram's algorithm favoring video,

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<v Speaker 1>not at all. We want to do this for you.

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<v Speaker 2>But you will see that I am extra glowing because

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<v Speaker 2>these damn IVF medicines literally get hot flashed me. So

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm not going through menopausea, not just yet,

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<v Speaker 2>but you just gonna see, like there'll be moments when

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<v Speaker 2>I'm completely dry and moments when I look like who

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<v Speaker 2>something is glowing?

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<v Speaker 1>I am just from what How do you feel about

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<v Speaker 1>listening to other women's IVF experiences? Are you just like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm living it? I don't want to hear it? Or

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<v Speaker 1>does it?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you like it? No, I'd like to. I'd like

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<v Speaker 2>to hear just because sometimes you it's nice to normalize

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm not gonna lie. When I first started hot flashing,

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<v Speaker 2>I was scared to tell my doctor because I thought

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<v Speaker 2>she was going to be like, oh my god, you

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<v Speaker 2>know you're an early menopause. I'm like so I was

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<v Speaker 2>like guesse, you know, cause it was like it was extreme,

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<v Speaker 2>like I'd be talking and then all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 2>beats of sweat and I'm like it took a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of days. I'm like, wait, I'm this is hot flash.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I'm hot flashing. So I mentioned it

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<v Speaker 2>when I was like, I was like, I'm not flushing.

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<v Speaker 2>She was like what. I'm like, come on, and she's like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, the mad So I was like what And

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<v Speaker 2>she told me that one of the medicines that I'm on,

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<v Speaker 2>that's common that women have, like you know, that reaction.

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<v Speaker 2>I say all that to say, if I would have

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<v Speaker 2>heard someone like say, like, you know, I'm listening to

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<v Speaker 2>my fath podcast pro anhmbition and I heard one of

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<v Speaker 2>the hosts, Tiffany talk about how one of her medicines

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<v Speaker 2>had her hot flashing, it would kind of give me solace, like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, I thought it was just me whoo

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<v Speaker 2>and so like yeah. So, I mean, I honestly like

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<v Speaker 2>when people share their you know, journey, it helps to

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<v Speaker 2>normalize it because it feels very abnormal, like you're you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you're alone in it. No.

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<v Speaker 1>I yeah, I totally agree. I brought it up because

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<v Speaker 1>I was just thinking about Master of None. It's back

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<v Speaker 1>on Netflix. Remember, so Master of None is that show

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<v Speaker 1>by Azizanzari, who's hilarious, but he kind of got into

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<v Speaker 1>some hot water what I forget now what the scandal was,

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<v Speaker 1>but he something about a girl he had hit on

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<v Speaker 1>or really pressed himself upon in a date or something

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<v Speaker 1>like that, and he was sort of like Mini canceled

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<v Speaker 1>for a while. So when he brought back Master of None,

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<v Speaker 1>I say, the road to redemption is paved with the

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<v Speaker 1>season of Master of None for him, because he completely

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<v Speaker 1>centralized two queer black women, like he centralized Lena Waite

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<v Speaker 1>and her partner in this story. And they want to

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<v Speaker 1>have a baby, and her partner I think her name is, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>what's her name? Dammit, I forget Renee Alicia. Alicia wants

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<v Speaker 1>to have a baby. They end up I'm not gonna okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so spoiler okay, I think I can say it without spoilings.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't come for me all in the comments. But Alicia

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<v Speaker 1>ends up doing IVF and there is an entire I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know how long was that episode, fifty minutes dedicated

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<v Speaker 1>to chronicling, like one of the most realistic and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even obviously I haven't done IVF, but it just

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<v Speaker 1>anyone who had gone through IVF. I mean, women were

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<v Speaker 1>just going nuts over this episode because it just was

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<v Speaker 1>so realistic, and I was gonna say, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if that would be helpful or enjoy that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I thought it was.

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<v Speaker 1>So powerful, and especially for me having not gone through it,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to, you know, you talk about it,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's really generous of you, but I'm not trying

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<v Speaker 1>to be like, so what's it like? You know, what

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<v Speaker 1>did the doctor say? But it really the uncomfortableness of it,

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<v Speaker 1>especially for a queer woman, you know, trying to do

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<v Speaker 1>it on her own, and just the conversations and the

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<v Speaker 1>invasiveness of it, it was really beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>So yes, when I go, like to the IVF, like

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<v Speaker 2>you know, to my doctor, I see, like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>every type of partnership that you can think of, you know, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>so I've seen queer women there. I've seen people with

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<v Speaker 2>their boyfriends, people with their girlfriends, people with their spouses.

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<v Speaker 2>Even like recently a couple of friends of mine, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>have hit me up and they were like, Tiffany, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>having trouble. I think I'm gonna do IVF. I would

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<v Speaker 2>really love to talk to you and I share it

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<v Speaker 2>because it can feel like something is wrong with me,

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<v Speaker 2>And so it was nice for me to know people

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<v Speaker 2>in real life that I cared about who went through

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<v Speaker 2>it to say, Okay, I'm not the only one. Like

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<v Speaker 2>when I found out that the Michelle Obama, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if she did IVF or she did did something

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<v Speaker 2>called IUI, but basically she needed help with both her kids.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, Okay, you know, those stories are important

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<v Speaker 2>because it really helps to normalize that everything is normal.

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<v Speaker 2>Challenges are normal. Getting pregnant just like that is normal,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, having a hard time, you know, getting pregnant

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<v Speaker 2>is normal. So they're a lot more people have trouble

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<v Speaker 2>getting pregnant than people really realize, you know, And so

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<v Speaker 2>I think that, Yeah, no, actually I'm actually looking forward.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to see it if I'm like, she took

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<v Speaker 2>those needles real easy, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that's a whole segment. Oh my god. Yeah, well,

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<v Speaker 1>uh man, that's such a so if y'all haven't seen it,

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<v Speaker 1>master I've done on Netflix. I really I highly recommend that.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh I'm gonna watch just for that epim.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, another thing that happened today. My financial planner is

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<v Speaker 1>so good, ol'd Helen. Okay, he sent me, Hey, Helen

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<v Speaker 1>Enrika and I. We met with her when I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to launch my business, and that's when she was like, girl,

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna be fine. You tenn ext your network. Yeah yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>But in that conversation, she had each of us take

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<v Speaker 1>a risk tolerance quiz. Have you ever done that?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>It's basically if you're going to start investing or just

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<v Speaker 1>to have an investor and an advisor kind of check

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<v Speaker 1>in and see is this girl going to freak out

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<v Speaker 1>you know, when the next pandemic happens, or is she

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<v Speaker 1>going to keep her cool? And then they use that

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<v Speaker 1>knowledge to say, Okay, all of the logic says, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>put the money in the market, you have time to

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<v Speaker 1>bounce back. But emotionally, you know, what's Mandy's reaction going

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<v Speaker 1>to be. Is she gonna lose it and she gonna

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<v Speaker 1>like drive off a cliff or whatever. I was really

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<v Speaker 1>shocked that my risk tolerance per her quiz was not

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<v Speaker 1>that high. See sixty eight out of one hundred.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, put a risk like I know me, I'm eighty,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm an eighty year old me and me and Superman

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<v Speaker 2>or you're like we are like we're about to not

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<v Speaker 2>mar for that money a cash like we.

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<v Speaker 1>So, do you have gold bars under your under your bed?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, literally, like Angelie, who say he is friends

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<v Speaker 2>with Helen, who's my financi advisor, was like, honestly, I

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<v Speaker 2>need you guys to be boring, like this is the ring. No,

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<v Speaker 2>but honestly, you seem like somebody who is. I can

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<v Speaker 2>maybe see you're the husband. Maybe I don't know him

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<v Speaker 2>well enough, but you seemed like me, but you seem

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<v Speaker 2>like who is Just like, no, let's go for it.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, Okay, Yeah, that's kind of the reaction I get

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<v Speaker 1>when I tell people I'm an introvert. They're like, really,

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<v Speaker 1>you seem so outgoing. You do the show, you do video,

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<v Speaker 1>and your tiktoks are anyway. But the thing is, I

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<v Speaker 1>think this is a really good lesson. I guess naturally

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<v Speaker 1>my inclination is to be more conservative with my money,

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<v Speaker 1>but I have trained myself to like understand the logic

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<v Speaker 1>and to let facts rule my emotions. So I was like, yeah, cool, cool, cool.

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<v Speaker 1>I get that maybe I'm a little bit stressed, but

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<v Speaker 1>I still am like ninety percent in stocks. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm younger than you, so I mean not to rub

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<v Speaker 1>it in but I was gonna say, but it's taking

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<v Speaker 1>not even by very much.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just laughing.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I might have time for like one more

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<v Speaker 1>recession bounce back, but then you but yeah, So so

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<v Speaker 1>that was a good lesson, and the same thing with

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<v Speaker 1>being an introvert, Like I don't know, I just taught

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<v Speaker 1>myself how to be extroverted as needed. But then I

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<v Speaker 1>know I need to plug myself in after, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I put myself out. So for me, what helps me

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<v Speaker 1>with my being more risky and being so heavy in

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<v Speaker 1>stocks is having these moments to recharge and plug in

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<v Speaker 1>by talking to Helen for her to keep my head

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<v Speaker 1>on straight and also just to check everything, like I

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<v Speaker 1>try not to check my accounts that often so that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not, you know, feeling those ups and downs so much.

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<v Speaker 1>So just to say, if y'all want a little window

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<v Speaker 1>into your what you should be working against, like if

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<v Speaker 1>you're a little bit too conservative with your money, so

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Helen's note was kind of like, here's here's

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<v Speaker 1>what we're working with, but uh, let's try to uh

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<v Speaker 1>let reason overcome, you know, how we might emotionally react

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<v Speaker 1>to the stock market.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I love that this is just like a random aside,

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<v Speaker 2>what feels good. I was just thinking about what you're

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<v Speaker 2>saying about Helen was thinking about Angelie. It just had

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<v Speaker 2>me thinking about coaches and I thought, oh, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>since I've been back, I met with my personal coach,

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<v Speaker 2>doctor Green, and then Zion, my business coach. It was

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<v Speaker 2>like it felt like such a reunion, Like I'm bad

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<v Speaker 2>and they're like, my child, do you return from the

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<v Speaker 2>desert you know where you went to, like like.

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<v Speaker 1>They sent you there right?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I know.

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<v Speaker 2>So honestly, it was like such a great reunion. Doctor

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<v Speaker 2>Green was like such a proud mom. She's like, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>so proud of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Even though do you all meet together like the Avengers?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you just you know we together?

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<v Speaker 2>We should. But it was just like really nice and

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<v Speaker 2>you know it was honestly, so you tell me this, Mandy.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a little scary because Zion and I still

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<v Speaker 2>have work to do. But what prompted me to go

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<v Speaker 2>to find doctor Green was we had Richard. Now what

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<v Speaker 2>is the couple we had on i'man and in Christina?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Christina and on our Riche journey. We talk about

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<v Speaker 1>them all the time, I know it.

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<v Speaker 2>So we had them on and the level of joy

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<v Speaker 2>that they were emanating. I was like, that can't be real.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a lot in an amazing, joyful way. And

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<v Speaker 2>I remember thinking, when's the last time you felt like that, Tiffany?

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<v Speaker 2>And it had been a long time, and it prompted

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<v Speaker 2>me to say something is wrong. You're not present and

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<v Speaker 2>you're not connected, not in a way that you used

0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.240
<v Speaker 2>to be. And so I thought I needed a therapist.

0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:42.959
<v Speaker 2>Remember we used the therapist finder Stephanie, and she was like, actually,

0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.160
<v Speaker 2>it's less about therapy. I think you need more coaching.

0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:48.439
<v Speaker 2>She connected me to doctor Green. And as I was

0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.880
<v Speaker 2>talking to doctor Green and that was just like she said, Tiffany,

0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.520
<v Speaker 2>you know who you sound like. I was like, no, who.

0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.160
<v Speaker 2>She's like, you sound like our rich journey, like how

0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:59.480
<v Speaker 2>you describe them to me. She was always like, good it,

0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.280
<v Speaker 2>that's exactly what she said. I was like, that's how

0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:04.840
<v Speaker 2>I feel. And then she said something scary. She was like, well,

0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:05.880
<v Speaker 2>you know our time together.

0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:10.880
<v Speaker 1>I was like, so what was she ready to just

0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:13.800
<v Speaker 1>say you're ready to fly? Did you act real sad,

0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:15.360
<v Speaker 1>real quick? Were You're like no, no, no, no, no, I'm

0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:16.920
<v Speaker 1>actually I feel a little pang.

0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:21.880
<v Speaker 2>What I'm yet I felt like you like Stewart from

0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:26.240
<v Speaker 2>an SNL or no, I know, I know, like what's

0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.320
<v Speaker 2>it like? You know, it's Comedy Central whatever, it's like

0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.480
<v Speaker 2>the Stewart character. It's like this girl man that pretends

0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:35.320
<v Speaker 2>to be like a baby. He's like, and I can't

0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:35.960
<v Speaker 2>be forever?

0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:37.439
<v Speaker 1>What are you going to do? Like a check in?

0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:38.480
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Well we have one more official because with six months

0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:42.920
<v Speaker 2>we have one more official chat. And then she said,

0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:45.480
<v Speaker 2>if you want to continue, what gold do you want

0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:48.240
<v Speaker 2>to work toward? And I'm like, I'm always here just

0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:50.040
<v Speaker 2>thinking about like let's.

0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.760
<v Speaker 1>Look at weren't you going to like i mean, build

0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:55.319
<v Speaker 1>a hospital or go to the moon or something last time.

0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.240
<v Speaker 2>We talked, you know, but you know, like gold like

0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:02.040
<v Speaker 2>an internal like you know, and so I honestly don't

0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.160
<v Speaker 2>know like kind of like so I've just been kind

0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:05.920
<v Speaker 2>of like self checking, like what are some pain points?

0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.040
<v Speaker 2>But I'm curious, you know, I know you said you've

0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:10.360
<v Speaker 2>done therapy before. Have you ever kind of like outgrown

0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 2>or moved past and said I did it? Or what

0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:15.760
<v Speaker 2>I came here for I got? And it's like how

0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:16.719
<v Speaker 2>do I hell do.

0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:22.400
<v Speaker 1>I know? I'm I wish I could say yeah, but no.

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:24.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean I never thought of that. I didn't know

0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 1>that was a thing you could do. But I guess

0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:29.720
<v Speaker 1>coaching is different. You have a specific goal in mind. Therapy,

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:33.360
<v Speaker 1>I hope I never outgrow it. I mean, maybe the

0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:36.160
<v Speaker 1>therapist I'm seeing, but y you know, I saw. I'm

0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:40.160
<v Speaker 1>seeing a therapist who specializes with the postpartum journey and

0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.760
<v Speaker 1>with new mothers. And I found her through a recommendation

0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:46.960
<v Speaker 1>through a prenatal yoga studio. So she's perfect for the time,

0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:49.200
<v Speaker 1>especially the past two years. She's been perfect for this

0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 1>period of my life. Now I can think I'm kind

0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:54.280
<v Speaker 1>of a badass mom. We spent a lot less time

0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:57.720
<v Speaker 1>talking about you know, Rio's poops and his feeding schedule

0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:00.880
<v Speaker 1>and you know, sleeping now than we do about my

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.920
<v Speaker 1>career and all of that. I call therapy for me,

0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:06.600
<v Speaker 1>And this is therapy versus you know, your coach. But

0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.600
<v Speaker 1>for me, therapy is like the mental health form of

0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:12.000
<v Speaker 1>an emergency fund. It's not like I'm going to need

0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.719
<v Speaker 1>that money right now. So even though it feels like

0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:16.959
<v Speaker 1>do I really need to save that extra hundred bucks,

0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:19.640
<v Speaker 1>you know I have a pretty decent emergency fund. I

0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.439
<v Speaker 1>continue contributing in the form of that weekly session with her.

0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 1>But when I tell you when I need her, I

0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.800
<v Speaker 1>am so happy that I have stashed away that time

0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.319
<v Speaker 1>with her. I don't have to go find a therapist,

0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.079
<v Speaker 1>get the referrals, you know. And I would say about

0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:37.520
<v Speaker 1>once every in my life. It's like once every couple

0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:39.720
<v Speaker 1>of months or something big that we have to talk about.

0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.760
<v Speaker 1>So it's definitely an ongoing relationship for sure.

0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.480
<v Speaker 2>So I don't know, I'm like really debating whether or

0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:47.960
<v Speaker 2>not because I don't want to make up something, you know,

0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:51.240
<v Speaker 2>with the coaching obviously, but I felt like it was

0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:55.280
<v Speaker 2>so help I honestly not that I didn't think that

0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:58.000
<v Speaker 2>it would work. I never thought to myself, well, what

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:02.120
<v Speaker 2>happens when you feel present and you know how to

0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.720
<v Speaker 2>tap into joy and you know, because I just you

0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:06.560
<v Speaker 2>just kind of feel like you're just going and then

0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:09.680
<v Speaker 2>one day you're like, wait, I'm here, and so yeah,

0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:11.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm just curious for anybody who's listening, BA fan have

0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:13.880
<v Speaker 2>if you've ever had a coach and you've kind of

0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.160
<v Speaker 2>accomplished the thing that the coach was there to coach

0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 2>you on. You know, I'm going to do some deep

0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:19.840
<v Speaker 2>diving for real to see if there's anything else i'd

0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:21.840
<v Speaker 2>like to work on, but I don't want to just

0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:24.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, just be like I just want to, Hey girl,

0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 2>every Friday.

0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure, I'm sure, Like, give it a month, you'll

0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.200
<v Speaker 1>have something like it. But listen, if y'all want some

0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:37.280
<v Speaker 1>free career coaching, I'm doing that right now. I don't

0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 1>know why did you see that I post on Instagram?

0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what came over me Friday night. But

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:45.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm in the middle of writing kind of an ebook guide.

0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:51.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm so passionate about helping people be relentless about quitting

0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.320
<v Speaker 1>quitting and moving on to their jobs. And the ebook

0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm writing isn't ready yet, but I really want I

0:14:58.040 --> 0:14:59.960
<v Speaker 1>want to help. I want to. You know, I get

0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:03.160
<v Speaker 1>messages from our listeners personally because I can tell I've

0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.640
<v Speaker 1>talked about it quite a bit and had I set

0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:07.360
<v Speaker 1>up a call last week with one of our listeners

0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:09.600
<v Speaker 1>and we had a really great conversation about where she

0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:13.200
<v Speaker 1>was feeling stuck in her career, and listen, it's just

0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.520
<v Speaker 1>something that I want to do. I've posted a form.

0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm still taking submissions if you want to sign up

0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:22.920
<v Speaker 1>for a free little career coaching session, and I'm doing it,

0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, for free, but I'm also doing it for information.

0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.440
<v Speaker 1>I just kind of want to know what pain points, Like,

0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:32.360
<v Speaker 1>what is it that's stopping people from not pursuing the

0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.240
<v Speaker 1>highest level that they can attain in their career? And

0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:37.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to call her out real quick, but she said.

0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:39.600
<v Speaker 1>I was like, so, you know, send me a link

0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.520
<v Speaker 1>to your LinkedIn. And she said, oh that I don't

0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:47.600
<v Speaker 1>have a LinkedIn. It's like what talk about low hanging

0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:51.120
<v Speaker 1>fruit LinkedIn? So she seemed a little kick in her butt.

0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:53.520
<v Speaker 1>But I'm ready to be that kick in the butt

0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:55.960
<v Speaker 1>for people if they if they need it. So we'll

0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.400
<v Speaker 1>post a link to that form. I think I have

0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:00.480
<v Speaker 1>to close it. There's already like one hundred people that have.

0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:02.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Mandy, when are you gonna find the time?

0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm not accepting all of them. Okay, I'm going

0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:09.000
<v Speaker 1>to go through and choose some, but I'm going to

0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:10.440
<v Speaker 1>close the form. I'm going to close the form.

0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 2>But honestly, I'm so proud of you. I mean, you know,

0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.480
<v Speaker 2>I know how hard business could be, you know, but

0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:18.800
<v Speaker 2>you know taking the leave is not easy. And I

0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.960
<v Speaker 2>mean you have a family, you know, you've got bills,

0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.400
<v Speaker 2>even though you know you've made really great financial choices,

0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:28.920
<v Speaker 2>but still, you know, betting on black and brown. But

0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm just really proud of you because it's not a

0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:34.280
<v Speaker 2>road that many people can manage, not because there's anything

0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 2>wrong with them, but just because it's a lot. It's

0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:39.280
<v Speaker 2>a lot emotionally. Here's the thing. What's so crazy. Even

0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:43.280
<v Speaker 2>if the financial returns are amazing, that doesn't mean that

0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:46.200
<v Speaker 2>you're not having a hard time. Like literally last year,

0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.840
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty, we had our biggest year yet that's when

0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:51.360
<v Speaker 2>we crossed over the ten million mark. It was literally

0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:53.400
<v Speaker 2>one of the hardest years in business that I've ever

0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:58.240
<v Speaker 2>had because it was so overwhelming. I considered, quite honestly

0:16:58.280 --> 0:16:59.600
<v Speaker 2>shutting it all down. I was like, who needs a

0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:02.720
<v Speaker 2>preschool teacher? You know? Like I spoke to my attorney

0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:04.679
<v Speaker 2>and was like, honestly, if I shut down this business,

0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:06.280
<v Speaker 2>what would that look like?

0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:06.399
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:09.159
<v Speaker 2>That's why I needed the doctor Green and Zion because

0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:13.639
<v Speaker 2>I felt equally pressed, like almost like this heavyweight was

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:16.400
<v Speaker 2>on me. But also I felt like a balloon where

0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:18.119
<v Speaker 2>you know it's ready to pop and you keep blowing

0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:19.879
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, is this the one? Is this is

0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.159
<v Speaker 2>this the air that's gonna I literally felt like, Okay,

0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:24.000
<v Speaker 2>is this the problem that's going to break me? Oh well,

0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:24.680
<v Speaker 2>maybe the next one.

0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:28.160
<v Speaker 1>We're like the watermelons on TikTok with you. Yes, yes,

0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.520
<v Speaker 1>I like that analogy. Those are stressful for you.

0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.399
<v Speaker 2>But it is stressful and so honestly, so I just

0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:35.040
<v Speaker 2>share all that to say that, Like I think people

0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.120
<v Speaker 2>think that like once in business, once you make money,

0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:40.800
<v Speaker 2>it's all good. And the truth is the money making aspect,

0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:42.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, once you get good at it, is one

0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.439
<v Speaker 2>of the easier aspects. There's so many things to manage.

0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:48.600
<v Speaker 2>There's balance, and there's family, and there's team, and there's

0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.720
<v Speaker 2>mission and vision and and there's you know, there's just

0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.080
<v Speaker 2>so many things. So the fact that you you know,

0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:57.640
<v Speaker 2>you've you've waded into these waters, girl, you know, and

0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:01.120
<v Speaker 2>you're doing well. And I'm just like to thrive from

0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:03.840
<v Speaker 2>the very beginning. And I told you before, like challenges

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.200
<v Speaker 2>will come be like that's just natural. But to watch

0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:07.840
<v Speaker 2>you thrive from the very beginning, I feel like a

0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.800
<v Speaker 2>proud auntie, not mine, because you ain't that much younger,

0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:13.080
<v Speaker 2>our proud older cousin.

0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.520
<v Speaker 1>Listen you, I can't tell you how many times you

0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:18.679
<v Speaker 1>and I start recording you're like, I just woke up

0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:24.480
<v Speaker 1>from a nap. I was like, going, you're tired, not me. Listen,

0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:26.440
<v Speaker 1>now I can take naps. You got my I can

0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:29.320
<v Speaker 1>see my little moon pod behind me. That's where the

0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:32.080
<v Speaker 1>quality of the naps I take, when I tell you,

0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I just think it's like it's having anesthesia. Almost. Yes,

0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:39.640
<v Speaker 1>the naps are midday naps are good. I don't know, yes,

0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:42.719
<v Speaker 1>but the struggle has been real. Let me live some

0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:44.800
<v Speaker 1>more of this entrepreneur life and maybe I'll find a

0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:46.879
<v Speaker 1>way to like verbalize all the struggles. But for me,

0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:50.280
<v Speaker 1>it's mostly just been like there's so many things and

0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:52.240
<v Speaker 1>it's just like which thing I'm like, do I have

0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:56.360
<v Speaker 1>adhd undiagnosed? Just which thing do I? So every day

0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:58.480
<v Speaker 1>it's like a put you you know, get your coffee,

0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:02.119
<v Speaker 1>sit down, feed yourself, and one thing at a time.

0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:06.480
<v Speaker 1>It's like sometimes you're so busy, just you know, head down,

0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.400
<v Speaker 1>just like doing the work. But I need to bacon.

0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:11.520
<v Speaker 1>The one smart thing I've done is try to have

0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:13.959
<v Speaker 1>designated days for things good. And I need to have

0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.800
<v Speaker 1>like a reflection day where I just kind of look

0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:18.439
<v Speaker 1>back and then you know, make my little list of

0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:23.600
<v Speaker 1>questions for the accountant for Helen, for whoever, and just reflect.

0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:25.800
<v Speaker 1>But I will let you know.

0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 2>We don't do We don't do it because I can't

0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:30.240
<v Speaker 2>just be helpful for the people listening because sometimes I,

0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:33.320
<v Speaker 2>like I said, I love talking to my like different

0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:35.399
<v Speaker 2>people that are that are different stages of business, and

0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:38.399
<v Speaker 2>then also leaning in Like I just reached out to

0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:40.600
<v Speaker 2>a friend of mine. His name is Rohan. He he's

0:19:40.600 --> 0:19:42.920
<v Speaker 2>been a business longer than me and his business does

0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.280
<v Speaker 2>better and I was asking him a question. He gave

0:19:45.320 --> 0:19:48.199
<v Speaker 2>me one little tip that was like life changing. That

0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:52.080
<v Speaker 2>circle is important having mentors and sponsors and coaches, right,

0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:55.600
<v Speaker 2>having peers people who are like similar level, and then

0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:58.160
<v Speaker 2>having mentees. The mentees keep you sharp, like as I'm

0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:01.280
<v Speaker 2>solving your problem, it's also really helping me to think

0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:04.760
<v Speaker 2>differently and expand my capacity for challenges. And you know,

0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:06.840
<v Speaker 2>so it's always I love that loop, like you know,

0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:08.960
<v Speaker 2>this kind of people who know more than you, people

0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:10.920
<v Speaker 2>who are similar than to you, and people who are

0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:14.560
<v Speaker 2>newer than you are. I think that three tiered approach

0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:17.800
<v Speaker 2>to kind of like your business circle is will really

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:19.480
<v Speaker 2>do you well, you know, No.

0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:21.199
<v Speaker 1>I think I need to be more intentional about that

0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:25.359
<v Speaker 1>circle too, it's I can't. I'm trying to think who's

0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:28.240
<v Speaker 1>the circle. The circle is there, but it's like when

0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:30.440
<v Speaker 1>do you reach out and in the right and I

0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:33.160
<v Speaker 1>kind of just take it, you know, situationally, when there's

0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:35.439
<v Speaker 1>a situation, I try to find the right person versus

0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:38.679
<v Speaker 1>having like schedule time for this person and that person.

0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:42.840
<v Speaker 1>I'll let you know, Well, listen, should we take a

0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:46.440
<v Speaker 1>quick breaking break and come back and do some boostyrk

0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:49.840
<v Speaker 1>some boosts and breaks. Let's take a quick breaking right back, y'all,

0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:51.480
<v Speaker 1>stick around, don't forget y'all.

0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:53.360
<v Speaker 2>We have our questions in a separate episode. You might

0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:54.080
<v Speaker 2>be like, where's the question?

0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:58.640
<v Speaker 1>Separate EPI ETI on Fridays. Yeah, our new bonus episode

0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:02.280
<v Speaker 1>on Fridays. So still send us your questions Bronibision Podcast

0:21:02.320 --> 0:21:05.200
<v Speaker 1>at gmail dot com or hit us up at Brown

0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:08.160
<v Speaker 1>Ambition Podcast at GEMA. I just said that, or go

0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:12.280
<v Speaker 1>to Brownivision podcast dot com and ask us anything. There

0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:47.399
<v Speaker 1>you go, All right, we are back. You ready to

0:21:47.400 --> 0:21:49.720
<v Speaker 1>boost or break? Mims Tiffany, Yes.

0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:53.600
<v Speaker 2>It's time to boost up break or boost up? Break up? Boost?

0:21:54.200 --> 0:22:01.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh break, I'm gonna break. Okay, he knows the plan.

0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:02.160
<v Speaker 1>Let's go.

0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:08.919
<v Speaker 2>I am literally and figuratively breaking from social media. Okay,

0:22:09.040 --> 0:22:12.080
<v Speaker 2>I came back on Monday, I didn't really do like,

0:22:12.119 --> 0:22:14.480
<v Speaker 2>I didn't do any social media, and then Wednesday was

0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:17.320
<v Speaker 2>my official day back on social got to social lying

0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:23.080
<v Speaker 2>promptly started to feel anxiety and depression. I was like, Mandy,

0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:25.720
<v Speaker 2>like crazy. I was like, it took me a wile

0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:28.280
<v Speaker 2>of reals, I'm like, what is this feeling? You were

0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:30.560
<v Speaker 2>so happy on Monday, so happy on Tuesday.

0:22:30.600 --> 0:22:31.560
<v Speaker 1>Who are you following?

0:22:32.040 --> 0:22:34.719
<v Speaker 2>Now? You know what it was? What I realized is

0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:38.000
<v Speaker 2>that I'm not following anyone negative. I didn't realize how

0:22:38.040 --> 0:22:42.320
<v Speaker 2>much I compared myself and then always found myself lacking.

0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:46.119
<v Speaker 2>So we had a huge milestone. Wooh woo. We just

0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:49.160
<v Speaker 2>sold just over seventy five thousand copies of Gecko with Money,

0:22:49.160 --> 0:22:52.639
<v Speaker 2>which is huge. You know, like, twenty five thousand copies

0:22:52.720 --> 0:22:56.119
<v Speaker 2>in a lifetime is considered a success, fifty thousand copies

0:22:56.160 --> 0:23:00.000
<v Speaker 2>it is considered next level, and then seventy five well, literally,

0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:02.480
<v Speaker 2>only a handful of books ever sell one hundred thousand

0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:04.639
<v Speaker 2>copies every year, and the fact that we're going to

0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:06.240
<v Speaker 2>sell one hundred thousand by the end of the year

0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:10.840
<v Speaker 2>is like astronomical. Right, Yeah, normally I'd be like whoo whoop,

0:23:10.840 --> 0:23:12.880
<v Speaker 2>woop woop. Then I saw a friend of mine whose

0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:15.520
<v Speaker 2>book came out the same time. She had a plaque

0:23:15.560 --> 0:23:18.320
<v Speaker 2>that she had already sold one hundred thousand. So all

0:23:18.359 --> 0:23:22.119
<v Speaker 2>of a sudden, my seventy five looked like whoom. And

0:23:22.160 --> 0:23:24.320
<v Speaker 2>I was like, but I didn't even recognize that that's

0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:27.120
<v Speaker 2>what I was doing to myself. Internally goes, oh my god,

0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:30.520
<v Speaker 2>congratulations for her, but there was this little like, oh girl,

0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:34.160
<v Speaker 2>but you didn't do it. And I was like, oh,

0:23:34.840 --> 0:23:35.119
<v Speaker 2>oh my.

0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:37.359
<v Speaker 1>You know, is this your next project for Doctor Green?

0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:42.160
<v Speaker 2>No? Maybe so. But what I realized is that I

0:23:42.240 --> 0:23:46.679
<v Speaker 2>am my own Nigerian parent. Because whenever you like, as

0:23:46.720 --> 0:23:47.639
<v Speaker 2>a Nigerian.

0:23:47.320 --> 0:23:49.560
<v Speaker 1>Child, do they have two heads, Tiffany? Is that why

0:23:49.600 --> 0:23:50.760
<v Speaker 1>they have a best selling book?

0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:53.320
<v Speaker 2>It's a little or like my dad would be like, Daddy,

0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:55.399
<v Speaker 2>I got in ninety six, m what happened to the

0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:59.840
<v Speaker 2>other four points? So I realized that I was doing

0:23:59.840 --> 0:24:02.760
<v Speaker 2>that to myself, and I was feeling really bad about it,

0:24:03.119 --> 0:24:04.720
<v Speaker 2>even though I was happy for my friends, you know,

0:24:04.800 --> 0:24:08.399
<v Speaker 2>cause I follow really great positive people, and I thought, like,

0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:10.680
<v Speaker 2>some people can be on and honestly, that doesn't play

0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:12.480
<v Speaker 2>a role for them, you know. But I realized I

0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:15.800
<v Speaker 2>didn't even recognize until I was away that that's what

0:24:15.880 --> 0:24:18.760
<v Speaker 2>I had been doing. And so I literally came off

0:24:18.800 --> 0:24:22.639
<v Speaker 2>and said, Okay, there's an issue here. I want to

0:24:22.640 --> 0:24:25.160
<v Speaker 2>be able to see a thing and recognize it as good,

0:24:25.520 --> 0:24:28.119
<v Speaker 2>but not use it as a tool to make myself

0:24:28.160 --> 0:24:30.960
<v Speaker 2>feel bad, which is what I was doing. Even when

0:24:30.960 --> 0:24:32.480
<v Speaker 2>I saw it, I was like, Okay, Tivy, We're not

0:24:32.520 --> 0:24:34.159
<v Speaker 2>going to do that the next person. We're gonna just

0:24:34.200 --> 0:24:36.040
<v Speaker 2>be happy for them. And I'd be happy for them,

0:24:36.040 --> 0:24:38.919
<v Speaker 2>but still be like it was like a condemnation of like,

0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:41.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, where I should be. And then two, what

0:24:42.040 --> 0:24:47.280
<v Speaker 2>I recognized too is that it was so limiting. Since

0:24:47.280 --> 0:24:50.159
<v Speaker 2>I was away from social media, I've been rethinking and

0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:52.800
<v Speaker 2>restructuring my businesses and next year is going to be

0:24:52.880 --> 0:24:54.919
<v Speaker 2>explosive as a result. And I actually came up with

0:24:54.960 --> 0:24:58.800
<v Speaker 2>this huge disruptive idea for the financial industry that I've

0:24:58.840 --> 0:25:01.880
<v Speaker 2>never seen before that could really just change the way

0:25:02.000 --> 0:25:05.119
<v Speaker 2>people navigate in the finance industry, something that none of

0:25:05.119 --> 0:25:07.600
<v Speaker 2>the big boys have been able to solve for, and

0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:09.760
<v Speaker 2>I have been solving for it for the last ten years,

0:25:09.800 --> 0:25:12.960
<v Speaker 2>and I didn't even I just had not named it.

0:25:13.119 --> 0:25:16.240
<v Speaker 2>And now that I've named it, I'm going to systemize

0:25:16.240 --> 0:25:21.639
<v Speaker 2>it and scale it so anyway, that idea is huge, right,

0:25:22.160 --> 0:25:25.760
<v Speaker 2>But I wouldn't have thought of it because social media

0:25:26.440 --> 0:25:31.840
<v Speaker 2>has me looking that my goal is one hundred because

0:25:31.840 --> 0:25:34.320
<v Speaker 2>she got a hundred, whereas maybe my book could be

0:25:34.359 --> 0:25:36.080
<v Speaker 2>doing three hundred. Do you see what I mean? Like,

0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:39.560
<v Speaker 2>social media will have me set my goal to what

0:25:39.720 --> 0:25:42.240
<v Speaker 2>someone else's goal is and then stop there and say

0:25:42.280 --> 0:25:44.720
<v Speaker 2>you did it versus girl, what you had before you

0:25:44.880 --> 0:25:48.040
<v Speaker 2>was three times as much. And so also too, I'm

0:25:48.080 --> 0:25:50.280
<v Speaker 2>pulling myself off social media, Like you won't know the

0:25:50.280 --> 0:25:53.120
<v Speaker 2>difference because I have a team that will run social media.

0:25:53.640 --> 0:25:56.600
<v Speaker 2>But I just really realized that like for me, at

0:25:56.680 --> 0:25:59.560
<v Speaker 2>least for now, social media is really not a place

0:25:59.600 --> 0:26:02.000
<v Speaker 2>for me that you know, it's a place that I

0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:04.919
<v Speaker 2>need to take a break from because one, I use

0:26:04.920 --> 0:26:06.560
<v Speaker 2>it as a tool to make myself feel bad and

0:26:06.640 --> 0:26:08.920
<v Speaker 2>so I fix that we can't go there. And then

0:26:08.960 --> 0:26:12.520
<v Speaker 2>two it's a limiting tool because it has me set

0:26:12.560 --> 0:26:17.119
<v Speaker 2>the bar according to someone else's you know, accomplishments versus

0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:19.800
<v Speaker 2>what I could accomplish fully on my own. So feel

0:26:19.840 --> 0:26:22.399
<v Speaker 2>free to take a if you want to take a

0:26:22.400 --> 0:26:24.440
<v Speaker 2>break with me, a collective break from social for a

0:26:24.440 --> 0:26:26.880
<v Speaker 2>little while, you know, feel free. I'll be over here,

0:26:26.920 --> 0:26:28.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, just get.

0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:31.919
<v Speaker 1>Follow me on TikTok, don't leave, don't leave. It's fine

0:26:31.920 --> 0:26:33.560
<v Speaker 1>here with me.

0:26:34.280 --> 0:26:37.640
<v Speaker 2>But do you say, yeah, go ahead? I don't know.

0:26:37.720 --> 0:26:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't do it so much anymore, but I'm gonna

0:26:40.280 --> 0:26:43.760
<v Speaker 1>everyone's different. Let's say, yes, I had a whole different

0:26:43.800 --> 0:26:46.119
<v Speaker 1>set of parents, a whole different life experience, and you know,

0:26:46.240 --> 0:26:48.439
<v Speaker 1>I can't imagine what that must have been. Like my

0:26:48.640 --> 0:26:50.679
<v Speaker 1>parents were thrilled if I brought home a B. It

0:26:50.800 --> 0:26:53.480
<v Speaker 1>was myself that wanted those a's. You know, I don't

0:26:53.480 --> 0:26:57.399
<v Speaker 1>know how I created this like perfectionist out of that,

0:26:57.440 --> 0:27:00.399
<v Speaker 1>because they really were just like, oh baby, you try hard,

0:27:01.560 --> 0:27:06.560
<v Speaker 1>classic American American parents. But I will say with social media,

0:27:07.080 --> 0:27:09.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I think the way that I see

0:27:09.640 --> 0:27:13.400
<v Speaker 1>it is I feel like I want people to succeed.

0:27:13.920 --> 0:27:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I haven't always been this way. Obviously, I get jealous

0:27:16.800 --> 0:27:19.760
<v Speaker 1>sometimes too, and I get fomo too, but I don't know.

0:27:19.840 --> 0:27:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm just so I'm just so good with what's going

0:27:23.240 --> 0:27:25.600
<v Speaker 1>on now, and it's like I was saying, like, seeing

0:27:25.600 --> 0:27:29.119
<v Speaker 1>your success it makes me feel what's possible for me.

0:27:29.400 --> 0:27:31.879
<v Speaker 1>And you know, for me, it's like kind of a

0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:34.199
<v Speaker 1>flipped scenario where you're saying it kind of limits you.

0:27:34.240 --> 0:27:37.560
<v Speaker 1>I feel like it helps me see what's possible. And

0:27:37.600 --> 0:27:39.840
<v Speaker 1>on top of that, yeah, I mean, social media is

0:27:39.840 --> 0:27:42.240
<v Speaker 1>an important tool for a business. So some people, you know,

0:27:42.240 --> 0:27:44.000
<v Speaker 1>you can't necessarily turn it away or you have to

0:27:44.040 --> 0:27:46.280
<v Speaker 1>outsource it. Maybe you're not. I'm not able to outsource

0:27:46.359 --> 0:27:48.679
<v Speaker 1>mine quite yet. And for me, it's also like my

0:27:48.800 --> 0:27:52.320
<v Speaker 1>way to consume what other creators are creating so that

0:27:52.359 --> 0:27:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I can learn from them. But TikTok, Man, what I

0:27:55.600 --> 0:27:57.320
<v Speaker 1>love about TikTok, and this is why I spend so

0:27:57.400 --> 0:27:59.840
<v Speaker 1>much more time there than Instagram these days. It is

0:28:00.080 --> 0:28:02.879
<v Speaker 1>not the highlight reel TikTok for me at least, what

0:28:02.920 --> 0:28:06.560
<v Speaker 1>they serve me is the reality reel. It is like Mama,

0:28:06.800 --> 0:28:10.879
<v Speaker 1>like the moms of TikTok, it's we're letting our entire

0:28:10.960 --> 0:28:15.560
<v Speaker 1>freak flag fly. I mean like it's almost like TikTok rewards.

0:28:15.680 --> 0:28:19.720
<v Speaker 1>The hotter the mess, the more real, the personal like

0:28:19.800 --> 0:28:22.880
<v Speaker 1>dysfunction of your relationship or your I don't know, that's

0:28:22.960 --> 0:28:25.600
<v Speaker 1>that's almost like the community of weirdos on TikTok. I

0:28:25.640 --> 0:28:26.119
<v Speaker 1>just love it.

0:28:26.160 --> 0:28:28.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, maybe i'll maybe you know, I never really took

0:28:28.800 --> 0:28:30.159
<v Speaker 2>a look at it, but I love that, and I

0:28:30.160 --> 0:28:32.440
<v Speaker 2>could see that because you're right, I see the tiktoks

0:28:32.440 --> 0:28:34.040
<v Speaker 2>that I see kind of that mostly their ray on

0:28:34.119 --> 0:28:37.560
<v Speaker 2>over to IG are like me and my boyfriend are

0:28:37.600 --> 0:28:39.560
<v Speaker 2>going through this thing, or like, oh the baby spit

0:28:39.640 --> 0:28:42.280
<v Speaker 2>up on me again. So I mean, I don't. I'm

0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:44.040
<v Speaker 2>still taking just like a break for now, just to

0:28:44.120 --> 0:28:45.400
<v Speaker 2>and to your point. Maybe I'll bring it up to

0:28:45.400 --> 0:28:47.720
<v Speaker 2>doctor Green to be like, oh, how do I because

0:28:47.760 --> 0:28:50.360
<v Speaker 2>I told her that social media can be and she's like, honestly, Tiffany,

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:53.360
<v Speaker 2>it very much can be, and it's okay to take

0:28:53.400 --> 0:28:54.760
<v Speaker 2>breaks away, and not to say I'm.

0:28:54.560 --> 0:28:57.200
<v Speaker 1>Never one thousand percent. It's all all just to say

0:28:57.200 --> 0:28:58.560
<v Speaker 1>that you just need to be true to yourself. You

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:01.160
<v Speaker 1>always have that, you know what's right for you, you know,

0:29:01.640 --> 0:29:01.920
<v Speaker 1>And so.

0:29:02.000 --> 0:29:02.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I.

0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:06.960
<v Speaker 1>Really should probably give up TikTok at least. I mean,

0:29:06.960 --> 0:29:09.440
<v Speaker 1>but the time that when you said you came up

0:29:09.480 --> 0:29:12.800
<v Speaker 1>with this business idea, I worry about spending so much

0:29:12.800 --> 0:29:15.520
<v Speaker 1>time consuming other content is less time that I can

0:29:15.600 --> 0:29:17.880
<v Speaker 1>use to create my own there's a certain limit where

0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:20.440
<v Speaker 1>it becomes less educational for me and more like maybe

0:29:20.480 --> 0:29:21.960
<v Speaker 1>you should just be doing your own thing and not

0:29:22.120 --> 0:29:25.280
<v Speaker 1>sitting here like like you know the face that you

0:29:25.360 --> 0:29:26.960
<v Speaker 1>have when you turn your camera and all of a

0:29:27.000 --> 0:29:29.040
<v Speaker 1>sudden on your phone You're like, oh, is that how

0:29:29.080 --> 0:29:33.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm sitting like with like fortunes and like food on

0:29:33.840 --> 0:29:34.320
<v Speaker 1>your shirt.

0:29:34.440 --> 0:29:36.520
<v Speaker 2>No, the worst is like when you look at your

0:29:36.520 --> 0:29:38.520
<v Speaker 2>phone at night, right, and then you do the thing

0:29:39.320 --> 0:29:43.440
<v Speaker 2>You're like, wow, that's my signals time to go to bed.

0:29:44.600 --> 0:29:49.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's bad. It's bad. Okay, well, thank you for

0:29:49.200 --> 0:29:53.840
<v Speaker 1>sharing that my brain. My boost is this, So it's

0:29:53.840 --> 0:29:55.160
<v Speaker 1>a boot. It could have been a break, but it

0:29:55.200 --> 0:29:57.760
<v Speaker 1>was a boost because I was just actually brand Ambish

0:29:57.760 --> 0:30:00.160
<v Speaker 1>and we were mentioned in an article and on a

0:30:00.440 --> 0:30:02.880
<v Speaker 1>personal finance publication, very nice, and I just happened to

0:30:02.880 --> 0:30:05.040
<v Speaker 1>scan the rest of the article and it was all

0:30:05.040 --> 0:30:07.160
<v Speaker 1>these different things that you can do to improve your

0:30:07.240 --> 0:30:11.520
<v Speaker 1>finances this year, and one of the tips was negotiate

0:30:11.640 --> 0:30:15.120
<v Speaker 1>like a white man. When I did like the eye

0:30:15.120 --> 0:30:18.480
<v Speaker 1>scrolling version of my eyes screw like tires squealing, I said,

0:30:19.640 --> 0:30:22.560
<v Speaker 1>what And I actually know the person who wrote it.

0:30:22.600 --> 0:30:24.920
<v Speaker 1>So I reached out and I was like, I have

0:30:25.000 --> 0:30:27.560
<v Speaker 1>some emotions about this article. I'd love to talk to you.

0:30:27.760 --> 0:30:29.280
<v Speaker 1>I could have written a very long email, but I

0:30:29.360 --> 0:30:31.080
<v Speaker 1>was like, I want to talk, and we ended up

0:30:31.080 --> 0:30:36.360
<v Speaker 1>having actually a really good, meaningful conversation. So the issue

0:30:36.400 --> 0:30:38.800
<v Speaker 1>that I told this person about he's a man, a

0:30:38.840 --> 0:30:42.320
<v Speaker 1>white man, and this tip was well meaning. It was

0:30:42.360 --> 0:30:44.960
<v Speaker 1>a subhead bold you know, negotiate like a white man.

0:30:45.000 --> 0:30:47.240
<v Speaker 1>And the excerpt below it was about a woman who

0:30:47.240 --> 0:30:50.000
<v Speaker 1>I had talked about. What often is said to women

0:30:50.120 --> 0:30:54.000
<v Speaker 1>in business situations or you know, financial is like negotiate harder,

0:30:54.240 --> 0:30:58.080
<v Speaker 1>ask for more, where this used the firm handshake. I

0:30:58.160 --> 0:31:00.400
<v Speaker 1>told him the problem with this headline and for me,

0:31:00.640 --> 0:31:04.560
<v Speaker 1>is once again we are trying to put the blame

0:31:04.680 --> 0:31:06.360
<v Speaker 1>or put the onus and put the work on the

0:31:06.360 --> 0:31:08.400
<v Speaker 1>shoulders of the people who don't have the power in

0:31:08.440 --> 0:31:12.080
<v Speaker 1>a negotiation. Often, if you're a woman and you're interviewing

0:31:12.120 --> 0:31:14.200
<v Speaker 1>for a job, for sure, you don't have the information

0:31:14.280 --> 0:31:16.760
<v Speaker 1>on their end. You don't know the budget, you don't

0:31:16.800 --> 0:31:19.800
<v Speaker 1>know the dynamics behind the scenes, you don't know you

0:31:19.840 --> 0:31:22.440
<v Speaker 1>know what's been improved for this role, what's been benchmarked

0:31:22.760 --> 0:31:24.520
<v Speaker 1>you don't know any of that stuff, and the people

0:31:24.520 --> 0:31:26.960
<v Speaker 1>who do, they're the ones who have the power to

0:31:27.000 --> 0:31:29.440
<v Speaker 1>be sure that you're paid what you're worth. But why

0:31:29.600 --> 0:31:31.720
<v Speaker 1>is it that we kind of put that on women?

0:31:32.000 --> 0:31:33.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, you need to know your worth, you need

0:31:33.680 --> 0:31:36.320
<v Speaker 1>to do your research. Why are we working so hard

0:31:36.720 --> 0:31:39.560
<v Speaker 1>to break into a system that is sexist and racist?

0:31:39.920 --> 0:31:43.000
<v Speaker 1>Why not focus on the system itself. So I've always

0:31:43.080 --> 0:31:46.840
<v Speaker 1>been very passionate about, like, dude, train your managers to

0:31:46.880 --> 0:31:50.000
<v Speaker 1>be aware of their unconscious bias when they're interviewing. Make

0:31:50.040 --> 0:31:54.400
<v Speaker 1>sure that you have a clear compensation, benchmarking, salary plan,

0:31:54.640 --> 0:31:58.680
<v Speaker 1>and system and process, because I believe processes and systems

0:31:58.680 --> 0:32:02.320
<v Speaker 1>are what protect against the human instinct to be an asshole,

0:32:02.440 --> 0:32:05.880
<v Speaker 1>like to be biased, to be stereotype. You know, I

0:32:05.920 --> 0:32:08.240
<v Speaker 1>wasn't even saying all this as fortfulity to him. I was,

0:32:08.280 --> 0:32:10.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, it was an interesting conversation. It was one

0:32:10.240 --> 0:32:12.160
<v Speaker 1>of those things where it could have been a quick

0:32:12.160 --> 0:32:15.240
<v Speaker 1>little comment on an article I could have posted like

0:32:15.240 --> 0:32:17.960
<v Speaker 1>a passive, aggressive TikTok about it or whatever, but I

0:32:18.000 --> 0:32:19.440
<v Speaker 1>was like, let me talk to him. I think he

0:32:19.560 --> 0:32:23.480
<v Speaker 1>means well. But it's just these little those that messaging

0:32:23.480 --> 0:32:26.280
<v Speaker 1>that you get from society that something is wrong with us. Yes,

0:32:26.400 --> 0:32:28.320
<v Speaker 1>you know that if only we could just be like

0:32:28.360 --> 0:32:30.960
<v Speaker 1>the magical white man, we would be doing better.

0:32:31.240 --> 0:32:33.800
<v Speaker 2>You know, that is the name of this episode, the

0:32:33.840 --> 0:32:35.080
<v Speaker 2>magical white Man.

0:32:35.160 --> 0:32:39.320
<v Speaker 1>The mythical magical white Man. And this is why I

0:32:39.320 --> 0:32:41.320
<v Speaker 1>told this guy. I was like, I said, no, listen.

0:32:41.600 --> 0:32:44.360
<v Speaker 1>The other problem with this headline is also like it

0:32:44.480 --> 0:32:49.000
<v Speaker 1>makes it seem like white men are these miraculous negotiators. Yeah,

0:32:49.040 --> 0:32:52.360
<v Speaker 1>like they are doing something so fantastic, They're so smart,

0:32:52.400 --> 0:32:56.880
<v Speaker 1>they have no no. I know plenty and I have

0:32:57.000 --> 0:33:03.680
<v Speaker 1>interviewed plenty of awkward, quiet, passive, shy Menut like these

0:33:03.680 --> 0:33:06.160
<v Speaker 1>are versions of men too. You know, they're not all

0:33:06.240 --> 0:33:09.560
<v Speaker 1>walking into offices with the big, hairy you know, handshake

0:33:10.000 --> 0:33:12.760
<v Speaker 1>and the business suit and you know they've all watched

0:33:13.280 --> 0:33:16.080
<v Speaker 1>Wolf of Wall Street or whatever that movie was. You know, Like, no,

0:33:16.160 --> 0:33:17.920
<v Speaker 1>there's plenty of guys who would come in all different

0:33:17.960 --> 0:33:21.880
<v Speaker 1>shapes and sizes and demeanors and personalities. The fact is

0:33:22.800 --> 0:33:25.400
<v Speaker 1>white men they just have the benefit of the doubt,

0:33:25.920 --> 0:33:29.200
<v Speaker 1>and that literally translates to money in their pocket that

0:33:29.520 --> 0:33:32.479
<v Speaker 1>they did not do anything special or miraculous to deserve.

0:33:32.600 --> 0:33:34.200
<v Speaker 1>So what do you want me to learn how to

0:33:34.240 --> 0:33:35.680
<v Speaker 1>do like be a white man.

0:33:35.880 --> 0:33:36.520
<v Speaker 2>I can't do that.

0:33:36.760 --> 0:33:39.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know what I mean. So it's not good

0:33:39.120 --> 0:33:43.440
<v Speaker 1>advice and it's dangerous and it proliferates just a stereotype

0:33:43.560 --> 0:33:46.520
<v Speaker 1>and a way of speaking to women that I think

0:33:46.560 --> 0:33:50.040
<v Speaker 1>has really hurt us. And my boost is because we

0:33:50.080 --> 0:33:52.440
<v Speaker 1>had a really good conversation and he's going to change.

0:33:52.520 --> 0:33:54.920
<v Speaker 1>He's going to change the article and he ended up

0:33:54.960 --> 0:33:57.040
<v Speaker 1>being really open to having that. But he's you know,

0:33:57.080 --> 0:34:00.000
<v Speaker 1>he was just like, I can see how quickly dashed

0:34:00.240 --> 0:34:03.720
<v Speaker 1>off a subhead like that, you know, could be could

0:34:03.720 --> 0:34:05.040
<v Speaker 1>be hurtful and have an impact.

0:34:05.040 --> 0:34:07.440
<v Speaker 2>And no, I love that. I love that boosty and

0:34:07.440 --> 0:34:09.239
<v Speaker 2>I love that and honestly I love that also I

0:34:09.600 --> 0:34:11.160
<v Speaker 2>love the break, but I also love the boost. And

0:34:11.200 --> 0:34:13.960
<v Speaker 2>so I'm glad that you had that conversation people, because

0:34:14.000 --> 0:34:17.279
<v Speaker 2>sometimes people are not open to feedback and so the

0:34:17.280 --> 0:34:18.880
<v Speaker 2>fact that he was oping to feedback is oh so

0:34:19.080 --> 0:34:22.320
<v Speaker 2>good because that means he's going to be mindful moving forward.

0:34:22.400 --> 0:34:25.080
<v Speaker 2>So we love a feedback feeling.

0:34:25.160 --> 0:34:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Man, Yeah, thank you. They don't all react that way.

0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:30.400
<v Speaker 1>So I appreciate you. Shouts out to you. You know

0:34:30.440 --> 0:34:34.160
<v Speaker 1>who you are. You are well, did we do it?

0:34:34.200 --> 0:34:35.080
<v Speaker 1>Did we do another show?

0:34:36.200 --> 0:34:40.040
<v Speaker 2>We did it? And if you really love us, you

0:34:40.120 --> 0:34:45.960
<v Speaker 2>will tell three five friends to listen to Brown and

0:34:46.480 --> 0:34:49.080
<v Speaker 2>Fish that here you get your life. You get to

0:34:49.120 --> 0:34:52.960
<v Speaker 2>learn a little bit about business, career, finance and money.

0:34:52.960 --> 0:34:54.919
<v Speaker 2>You get a little tea about me and Manny's life

0:34:55.360 --> 0:34:55.680
<v Speaker 2>and how.

0:34:55.640 --> 0:34:58.879
<v Speaker 1>We're man flash sweaty pit moment, my.

0:34:58.880 --> 0:35:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Hot flash moment. That's why I got my little fan.

0:35:00.680 --> 0:35:04.120
<v Speaker 2>Here you get to learn all the things. Isn't this cute?

0:35:04.120 --> 0:35:04.920
<v Speaker 2>I got some Nigia.

0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:06.680
<v Speaker 1>I think that is cute.

0:35:08.000 --> 0:35:10.440
<v Speaker 2>I have a family. Like for those of you non vieway, like,

0:35:10.440 --> 0:35:12.560
<v Speaker 2>if you were watching on YouTube, handhand, you'd be able

0:35:12.560 --> 0:35:15.160
<v Speaker 2>to see that I pulled out a ration. This is

0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:16.960
<v Speaker 2>no wait, this is made at a palm. I don't

0:35:16.960 --> 0:35:19.120
<v Speaker 2>know anyway, It's a beautiful fan that I'm using to

0:35:19.160 --> 0:35:20.920
<v Speaker 2>fan myself. You would only know that if you were

0:35:20.920 --> 0:35:22.600
<v Speaker 2>watching us via YouTube. But you know you're missing that

0:35:22.680 --> 0:35:25.839
<v Speaker 2>if you're not. No, but honestly, like, we would love

0:35:25.960 --> 0:35:29.400
<v Speaker 2>if wherever you listen to Brown Ambition, you know, share

0:35:29.440 --> 0:35:31.760
<v Speaker 2>the link, like not just hey guys, listen, but like, honestly,

0:35:31.800 --> 0:35:34.400
<v Speaker 2>I'd love this episode that think you were talking about

0:35:34.480 --> 0:35:38.760
<v Speaker 2>that thing you were sharing sis brauh other. You know here,

0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:41.799
<v Speaker 2>here's a really great podcast that I think is going

0:35:41.880 --> 0:35:43.200
<v Speaker 2>to relate to you, So share it with them. I

0:35:43.200 --> 0:35:44.760
<v Speaker 2>think that they would love it in return.

0:35:45.000 --> 0:35:49.200
<v Speaker 1>So at least three people minimum, as you know, three

0:35:49.200 --> 0:35:54.520
<v Speaker 1>people Amazon, Guy, Door, Dash person like you know you

0:35:54.560 --> 0:35:56.560
<v Speaker 1>know three people? Yeah, everyone has a parent?

0:35:57.080 --> 0:35:57.319
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:35:58.080 --> 0:36:01.200
<v Speaker 1>All right, well until Friday. You can check out our

0:36:01.280 --> 0:36:04.839
<v Speaker 1>mini qan a episode this Friday. Check it out, rate

0:36:04.920 --> 0:36:09.520
<v Speaker 1>and review, etcetera, etcetera. You see all then bye