Speaker 1: Hey ba fam, Please follow us on Apple Podcasts and
Speaker 1: keep our audience growing. If your iPhone recently upgraded to
Speaker 1: iOS fourteen point five, head to Apple Podcasts, search for
Speaker 1: Brown Ambition and click on the plus button in the
Speaker 1: upper right hand corner. Do that and you'll be following
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Speaker 2: Hey hey, hey, I try to say a little cuter cuss.
Speaker 2: We're back. We're black, We're brown and in living color.
Speaker 2: Last edition.
Speaker 1: Shit the Marown edition color edition.
Speaker 2: Hey else, Hey, I see well, I mean I'll be
Speaker 2: seeing you, but like I see you in the world,
Speaker 2: can see you.
Speaker 1: It's nice to see your face. You look refreshed. You
Speaker 1: look like your vacation is still sunk into the melanin popping,
Speaker 1: Like everything is just glowing. How are you feeling your
Speaker 1: first full week back?
Speaker 2: I'm hot, flashing, just so, y'all though, Like, because so,
Speaker 2: here's the thing, we are actually like you guys are
Speaker 2: going to be able to watch us on the on
Speaker 2: the you of the tubes. Yeah, because we're like I
Speaker 2: feel like you guys, want to see how we interact,
Speaker 2: like you know, we frand friends for real, for real And.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it has nothing to do with Instagram's algorithm favoring video,
Speaker 1: not at all. We want to do this for you.
Speaker 2: But you will see that I am extra glowing because
Speaker 2: these damn IVF medicines literally get hot flashed me. So
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not going through menopausea, not just yet,
Speaker 2: but you just gonna see, like there'll be moments when
Speaker 2: I'm completely dry and moments when I look like who
Speaker 2: something is glowing?
Speaker 1: I am just from what How do you feel about
Speaker 1: listening to other women's IVF experiences? Are you just like
Speaker 1: I'm living it? I don't want to hear it? Or
Speaker 1: does it?
Speaker 2: Do you like it? No, I'd like to. I'd like
Speaker 2: to hear just because sometimes you it's nice to normalize
Speaker 2: because I'm not gonna lie. When I first started hot flashing,
Speaker 2: I was scared to tell my doctor because I thought
Speaker 2: she was going to be like, oh my god, you
Speaker 2: know you're an early menopause. I'm like so I was
Speaker 2: like guesse, you know, cause it was like it was extreme,
Speaker 2: like I'd be talking and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: beats of sweat and I'm like it took a couple
Speaker 2: of days. I'm like, wait, I'm this is hot flash.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm hot flashing. So I mentioned it
Speaker 2: when I was like, I was like, I'm not flushing.
Speaker 2: She was like what. I'm like, come on, and she's like,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, the mad So I was like what And
Speaker 2: she told me that one of the medicines that I'm on,
Speaker 2: that's common that women have, like you know, that reaction.
Speaker 2: I say all that to say, if I would have
Speaker 2: heard someone like say, like, you know, I'm listening to
Speaker 2: my fath podcast pro anhmbition and I heard one of
Speaker 2: the hosts, Tiffany talk about how one of her medicines
Speaker 2: had her hot flashing, it would kind of give me solace, like,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I thought it was just me whoo
Speaker 2: and so like yeah. So, I mean, I honestly like
Speaker 2: when people share their you know, journey, it helps to
Speaker 2: normalize it because it feels very abnormal, like you're you know,
Speaker 2: you're alone in it. No.
Speaker 1: I yeah, I totally agree. I brought it up because
Speaker 1: I was just thinking about Master of None. It's back
Speaker 1: on Netflix. Remember, so Master of None is that show
Speaker 1: by Azizanzari, who's hilarious, but he kind of got into
Speaker 1: some hot water what I forget now what the scandal was,
Speaker 1: but he something about a girl he had hit on
Speaker 1: or really pressed himself upon in a date or something
Speaker 1: like that, and he was sort of like Mini canceled
Speaker 1: for a while. So when he brought back Master of None,
Speaker 1: I say, the road to redemption is paved with the
Speaker 1: season of Master of None for him, because he completely
Speaker 1: centralized two queer black women, like he centralized Lena Waite
Speaker 1: and her partner in this story. And they want to
Speaker 1: have a baby, and her partner I think her name is, oh,
Speaker 1: what's her name? Dammit, I forget Renee Alicia. Alicia wants
Speaker 1: to have a baby. They end up I'm not gonna okay,
Speaker 1: so spoiler okay, I think I can say it without spoilings.
Speaker 1: Don't come for me all in the comments. But Alicia
Speaker 1: ends up doing IVF and there is an entire I
Speaker 1: don't know how long was that episode, fifty minutes dedicated
Speaker 1: to chronicling, like one of the most realistic and I
Speaker 1: don't even obviously I haven't done IVF, but it just
Speaker 1: anyone who had gone through IVF. I mean, women were
Speaker 1: just going nuts over this episode because it just was
Speaker 1: so realistic, and I was gonna say, I don't know
Speaker 1: if that would be helpful or enjoy that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought it was.
Speaker 1: So powerful, and especially for me having not gone through it,
Speaker 1: I don't want to, you know, you talk about it,
Speaker 1: and that's really generous of you, but I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to be like, so what's it like? You know, what
Speaker 1: did the doctor say? But it really the uncomfortableness of it,
Speaker 1: especially for a queer woman, you know, trying to do
Speaker 1: it on her own, and just the conversations and the
Speaker 1: invasiveness of it, it was really beautiful.
Speaker 2: So yes, when I go, like to the IVF, like
Speaker 2: you know, to my doctor, I see, like, you know,
Speaker 2: every type of partnership that you can think of, you know, Like,
Speaker 2: so I've seen queer women there. I've seen people with
Speaker 2: their boyfriends, people with their girlfriends, people with their spouses.
Speaker 2: Even like recently a couple of friends of mine, you know,
Speaker 2: have hit me up and they were like, Tiffany, I'm
Speaker 2: having trouble. I think I'm gonna do IVF. I would
Speaker 2: really love to talk to you and I share it
Speaker 2: because it can feel like something is wrong with me,
Speaker 2: And so it was nice for me to know people
Speaker 2: in real life that I cared about who went through
Speaker 2: it to say, Okay, I'm not the only one. Like
Speaker 2: when I found out that the Michelle Obama, I don't
Speaker 2: know if she did IVF or she did did something
Speaker 2: called IUI, but basically she needed help with both her kids.
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, you know, those stories are important
Speaker 2: because it really helps to normalize that everything is normal.
Speaker 2: Challenges are normal. Getting pregnant just like that is normal,
Speaker 2: you know, having a hard time, you know, getting pregnant
Speaker 2: is normal. So they're a lot more people have trouble
Speaker 2: getting pregnant than people really realize, you know, And so
Speaker 2: I think that, Yeah, no, actually I'm actually looking forward.
Speaker 2: I want to see it if I'm like, she took
Speaker 2: those needles real easy, you know.
Speaker 1: No, that's a whole segment. Oh my god. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: uh man, that's such a so if y'all haven't seen it,
Speaker 1: master I've done on Netflix. I really I highly recommend that.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm gonna watch just for that epim.
Speaker 1: Well, another thing that happened today. My financial planner is
Speaker 1: so good, ol'd Helen. Okay, he sent me, Hey, Helen
Speaker 1: Enrika and I. We met with her when I was
Speaker 1: going to launch my business, and that's when she was like, girl,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be fine. You tenn ext your network. Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: But in that conversation, she had each of us take
Speaker 1: a risk tolerance quiz. Have you ever done that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It's basically if you're going to start investing or just
Speaker 1: to have an investor and an advisor kind of check
Speaker 1: in and see is this girl going to freak out
Speaker 1: you know, when the next pandemic happens, or is she
Speaker 1: going to keep her cool? And then they use that
Speaker 1: knowledge to say, Okay, all of the logic says, you know,
Speaker 1: put the money in the market, you have time to
Speaker 1: bounce back. But emotionally, you know, what's Mandy's reaction going
Speaker 1: to be. Is she gonna lose it and she gonna
Speaker 1: like drive off a cliff or whatever. I was really
Speaker 1: shocked that my risk tolerance per her quiz was not
Speaker 1: that high. See sixty eight out of one hundred.
Speaker 2: Yeah, put a risk like I know me, I'm eighty,
Speaker 2: I'm an eighty year old me and me and Superman
Speaker 2: or you're like we are like we're about to not
Speaker 2: mar for that money a cash like we.
Speaker 1: So, do you have gold bars under your under your bed?
Speaker 2: I'm like, literally, like Angelie, who say he is friends
Speaker 2: with Helen, who's my financi advisor, was like, honestly, I
Speaker 2: need you guys to be boring, like this is the ring. No,
Speaker 2: but honestly, you seem like somebody who is. I can
Speaker 2: maybe see you're the husband. Maybe I don't know him
Speaker 2: well enough, but you seemed like me, but you seem
Speaker 2: like who is Just like, no, let's go for it.
Speaker 1: Wow, Okay, Yeah, that's kind of the reaction I get
Speaker 1: when I tell people I'm an introvert. They're like, really,
Speaker 1: you seem so outgoing. You do the show, you do video,
Speaker 1: and your tiktoks are anyway. But the thing is, I
Speaker 1: think this is a really good lesson. I guess naturally
Speaker 1: my inclination is to be more conservative with my money,
Speaker 1: but I have trained myself to like understand the logic
Speaker 1: and to let facts rule my emotions. So I was like, yeah, cool, cool, cool.
Speaker 1: I get that maybe I'm a little bit stressed, but
Speaker 1: I still am like ninety percent in stocks. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm younger than you, so I mean not to rub
Speaker 1: it in but I was gonna say, but it's taking
Speaker 1: not even by very much.
Speaker 2: I'm just laughing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I might have time for like one more
Speaker 1: recession bounce back, but then you but yeah, So so
Speaker 1: that was a good lesson, and the same thing with
Speaker 1: being an introvert, Like I don't know, I just taught
Speaker 1: myself how to be extroverted as needed. But then I
Speaker 1: know I need to plug myself in after, you know,
Speaker 1: I put myself out. So for me, what helps me
Speaker 1: with my being more risky and being so heavy in
Speaker 1: stocks is having these moments to recharge and plug in
Speaker 1: by talking to Helen for her to keep my head
Speaker 1: on straight and also just to check everything, like I
Speaker 1: try not to check my accounts that often so that
Speaker 1: I'm not, you know, feeling those ups and downs so much.
Speaker 1: So just to say, if y'all want a little window
Speaker 1: into your what you should be working against, like if
Speaker 1: you're a little bit too conservative with your money, so
Speaker 1: you know, Helen's note was kind of like, here's here's
Speaker 1: what we're working with, but uh, let's try to uh
Speaker 1: let reason overcome, you know, how we might emotionally react
Speaker 1: to the stock market.
Speaker 2: No, I love that this is just like a random aside,
Speaker 2: what feels good. I was just thinking about what you're
Speaker 2: saying about Helen was thinking about Angelie. It just had
Speaker 2: me thinking about coaches and I thought, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: since I've been back, I met with my personal coach,
Speaker 2: doctor Green, and then Zion, my business coach. It was
Speaker 2: like it felt like such a reunion, Like I'm bad
Speaker 2: and they're like, my child, do you return from the
Speaker 2: desert you know where you went to, like like.
Speaker 1: They sent you there right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: So honestly, it was like such a great reunion. Doctor
Speaker 2: Green was like such a proud mom. She's like, I'm
Speaker 2: so proud of you.
Speaker 1: Even though do you all meet together like the Avengers?
Speaker 1: Do you just you know we together?
Speaker 2: We should. But it was just like really nice and
Speaker 2: you know it was honestly, so you tell me this, Mandy.
Speaker 2: It was a little scary because Zion and I still
Speaker 2: have work to do. But what prompted me to go
Speaker 2: to find doctor Green was we had Richard. Now what
Speaker 2: is the couple we had on i'man and in Christina?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Christina and on our Riche journey. We talk about
Speaker 1: them all the time, I know it.
Speaker 2: So we had them on and the level of joy
Speaker 2: that they were emanating. I was like, that can't be real.
Speaker 2: It was a lot in an amazing, joyful way. And
Speaker 2: I remember thinking, when's the last time you felt like that, Tiffany?
Speaker 2: And it had been a long time, and it prompted
Speaker 2: me to say something is wrong. You're not present and
Speaker 2: you're not connected, not in a way that you used
Speaker 2: to be. And so I thought I needed a therapist.
Speaker 2: Remember we used the therapist finder Stephanie, and she was like, actually,
Speaker 2: it's less about therapy. I think you need more coaching.
Speaker 2: She connected me to doctor Green. And as I was
Speaker 2: talking to doctor Green and that was just like she said, Tiffany,
Speaker 2: you know who you sound like. I was like, no, who.
Speaker 2: She's like, you sound like our rich journey, like how
Speaker 2: you describe them to me. She was always like, good it,
Speaker 2: that's exactly what she said. I was like, that's how
Speaker 2: I feel. And then she said something scary. She was like, well,
Speaker 2: you know our time together.
Speaker 1: I was like, so what was she ready to just
Speaker 1: say you're ready to fly? Did you act real sad,
Speaker 1: real quick? Were You're like no, no, no, no, no, I'm
Speaker 1: actually I feel a little pang.
Speaker 2: What I'm yet I felt like you like Stewart from
Speaker 2: an SNL or no, I know, I know, like what's
Speaker 2: it like? You know, it's Comedy Central whatever, it's like
Speaker 2: the Stewart character. It's like this girl man that pretends
Speaker 2: to be like a baby. He's like, and I can't
Speaker 2: be forever?
Speaker 1: What are you going to do? Like a check in?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: Well we have one more official because with six months
Speaker 2: we have one more official chat. And then she said,
Speaker 2: if you want to continue, what gold do you want
Speaker 2: to work toward? And I'm like, I'm always here just
Speaker 2: thinking about like let's.
Speaker 1: Look at weren't you going to like i mean, build
Speaker 1: a hospital or go to the moon or something last time.
Speaker 2: We talked, you know, but you know, like gold like
Speaker 2: an internal like you know, and so I honestly don't
Speaker 2: know like kind of like so I've just been kind
Speaker 2: of like self checking, like what are some pain points?
Speaker 2: But I'm curious, you know, I know you said you've
Speaker 2: done therapy before. Have you ever kind of like outgrown
Speaker 2: or moved past and said I did it? Or what
Speaker 2: I came here for I got? And it's like how
Speaker 2: do I hell do.
Speaker 1: I know? I'm I wish I could say yeah, but no.
Speaker 1: I mean I never thought of that. I didn't know
Speaker 1: that was a thing you could do. But I guess
Speaker 1: coaching is different. You have a specific goal in mind. Therapy,
Speaker 1: I hope I never outgrow it. I mean, maybe the
Speaker 1: therapist I'm seeing, but y you know, I saw. I'm
Speaker 1: seeing a therapist who specializes with the postpartum journey and
Speaker 1: with new mothers. And I found her through a recommendation
Speaker 1: through a prenatal yoga studio. So she's perfect for the time,
Speaker 1: especially the past two years. She's been perfect for this
Speaker 1: period of my life. Now I can think I'm kind
Speaker 1: of a badass mom. We spent a lot less time
Speaker 1: talking about you know, Rio's poops and his feeding schedule
Speaker 1: and you know, sleeping now than we do about my
Speaker 1: career and all of that. I call therapy for me,
Speaker 1: And this is therapy versus you know, your coach. But
Speaker 1: for me, therapy is like the mental health form of
Speaker 1: an emergency fund. It's not like I'm going to need
Speaker 1: that money right now. So even though it feels like
Speaker 1: do I really need to save that extra hundred bucks,
Speaker 1: you know I have a pretty decent emergency fund. I
Speaker 1: continue contributing in the form of that weekly session with her.
Speaker 1: But when I tell you when I need her, I
Speaker 1: am so happy that I have stashed away that time
Speaker 1: with her. I don't have to go find a therapist,
Speaker 1: get the referrals, you know. And I would say about
Speaker 1: once every in my life. It's like once every couple
Speaker 1: of months or something big that we have to talk about.
Speaker 1: So it's definitely an ongoing relationship for sure.
Speaker 2: So I don't know, I'm like really debating whether or
Speaker 2: not because I don't want to make up something, you know,
Speaker 2: with the coaching obviously, but I felt like it was
Speaker 2: so help I honestly not that I didn't think that
Speaker 2: it would work. I never thought to myself, well, what
Speaker 2: happens when you feel present and you know how to
Speaker 2: tap into joy and you know, because I just you
Speaker 2: just kind of feel like you're just going and then
Speaker 2: one day you're like, wait, I'm here, and so yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just curious for anybody who's listening, BA fan have
Speaker 2: if you've ever had a coach and you've kind of
Speaker 2: accomplished the thing that the coach was there to coach
Speaker 2: you on. You know, I'm going to do some deep
Speaker 2: diving for real to see if there's anything else i'd
Speaker 2: like to work on, but I don't want to just
Speaker 2: you know, just be like I just want to, Hey girl,
Speaker 2: every Friday.
Speaker 1: I'm sure, I'm sure, Like, give it a month, you'll
Speaker 1: have something like it. But listen, if y'all want some
Speaker 1: free career coaching, I'm doing that right now. I don't
Speaker 1: know why did you see that I post on Instagram?
Speaker 1: I don't know what came over me Friday night. But
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of writing kind of an ebook guide.
Speaker 1: I'm so passionate about helping people be relentless about quitting
Speaker 1: quitting and moving on to their jobs. And the ebook
Speaker 1: I'm writing isn't ready yet, but I really want I
Speaker 1: want to help. I want to. You know, I get
Speaker 1: messages from our listeners personally because I can tell I've
Speaker 1: talked about it quite a bit and had I set
Speaker 1: up a call last week with one of our listeners
Speaker 1: and we had a really great conversation about where she
Speaker 1: was feeling stuck in her career, and listen, it's just
Speaker 1: something that I want to do. I've posted a form.
Speaker 1: I'm still taking submissions if you want to sign up
Speaker 1: for a free little career coaching session, and I'm doing it,
Speaker 1: you know, for free, but I'm also doing it for information.
Speaker 1: I just kind of want to know what pain points, Like,
Speaker 1: what is it that's stopping people from not pursuing the
Speaker 1: highest level that they can attain in their career? And
Speaker 1: I'm going to call her out real quick, but she said.
Speaker 1: I was like, so, you know, send me a link
Speaker 1: to your LinkedIn. And she said, oh that I don't
Speaker 1: have a LinkedIn. It's like what talk about low hanging
Speaker 1: fruit LinkedIn? So she seemed a little kick in her butt.
Speaker 1: But I'm ready to be that kick in the butt
Speaker 1: for people if they if they need it. So we'll
Speaker 1: post a link to that form. I think I have
Speaker 1: to close it. There's already like one hundred people that have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Mandy, when are you gonna find the time?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not accepting all of them. Okay, I'm going
Speaker 1: to go through and choose some, but I'm going to
Speaker 1: close the form. I'm going to close the form.
Speaker 2: But honestly, I'm so proud of you. I mean, you know,
Speaker 2: I know how hard business could be, you know, but
Speaker 2: you know taking the leave is not easy. And I
Speaker 2: mean you have a family, you know, you've got bills,
Speaker 2: even though you know you've made really great financial choices,
Speaker 2: but still, you know, betting on black and brown. But
Speaker 2: I'm just really proud of you because it's not a
Speaker 2: road that many people can manage, not because there's anything
Speaker 2: wrong with them, but just because it's a lot. It's
Speaker 2: a lot emotionally. Here's the thing. What's so crazy. Even
Speaker 2: if the financial returns are amazing, that doesn't mean that
Speaker 2: you're not having a hard time. Like literally last year,
Speaker 2: twenty twenty, we had our biggest year yet that's when
Speaker 2: we crossed over the ten million mark. It was literally
Speaker 2: one of the hardest years in business that I've ever
Speaker 2: had because it was so overwhelming. I considered, quite honestly
Speaker 2: shutting it all down. I was like, who needs a
Speaker 2: preschool teacher? You know? Like I spoke to my attorney
Speaker 2: and was like, honestly, if I shut down this business,
Speaker 2: what would that look like?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: That's why I needed the doctor Green and Zion because
Speaker 2: I felt equally pressed, like almost like this heavyweight was
Speaker 2: on me. But also I felt like a balloon where
Speaker 2: you know it's ready to pop and you keep blowing
Speaker 2: and you're like, is this the one? Is this is
Speaker 2: this the air that's gonna I literally felt like, Okay,
Speaker 2: is this the problem that's going to break me? Oh well,
Speaker 2: maybe the next one.
Speaker 1: We're like the watermelons on TikTok with you. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I like that analogy. Those are stressful for you.
Speaker 2: But it is stressful and so honestly, so I just
Speaker 2: share all that to say that, Like I think people
Speaker 2: think that like once in business, once you make money,
Speaker 2: it's all good. And the truth is the money making aspect,
Speaker 2: you know, once you get good at it, is one
Speaker 2: of the easier aspects. There's so many things to manage.
Speaker 2: There's balance, and there's family, and there's team, and there's
Speaker 2: mission and vision and and there's you know, there's just
Speaker 2: so many things. So the fact that you you know,
Speaker 2: you've you've waded into these waters, girl, you know, and
Speaker 2: you're doing well. And I'm just like to thrive from
Speaker 2: the very beginning. And I told you before, like challenges
Speaker 2: will come be like that's just natural. But to watch
Speaker 2: you thrive from the very beginning, I feel like a
Speaker 2: proud auntie, not mine, because you ain't that much younger,
Speaker 2: our proud older cousin.
Speaker 1: Listen you, I can't tell you how many times you
Speaker 1: and I start recording you're like, I just woke up
Speaker 1: from a nap. I was like, going, you're tired, not me. Listen,
Speaker 1: now I can take naps. You got my I can
Speaker 1: see my little moon pod behind me. That's where the
Speaker 1: quality of the naps I take, when I tell you,
Speaker 1: I just think it's like it's having anesthesia. Almost. Yes,
Speaker 1: the naps are midday naps are good. I don't know, yes,
Speaker 1: but the struggle has been real. Let me live some
Speaker 1: more of this entrepreneur life and maybe I'll find a
Speaker 1: way to like verbalize all the struggles. But for me,
Speaker 1: it's mostly just been like there's so many things and
Speaker 1: it's just like which thing I'm like, do I have
Speaker 1: adhd undiagnosed? Just which thing do I? So every day
Speaker 1: it's like a put you you know, get your coffee,
Speaker 1: sit down, feed yourself, and one thing at a time.
Speaker 1: It's like sometimes you're so busy, just you know, head down,
Speaker 1: just like doing the work. But I need to bacon.
Speaker 1: The one smart thing I've done is try to have
Speaker 1: designated days for things good. And I need to have
Speaker 1: like a reflection day where I just kind of look
Speaker 1: back and then you know, make my little list of
Speaker 1: questions for the accountant for Helen, for whoever, and just reflect.
Speaker 1: But I will let you know.
Speaker 2: We don't do We don't do it because I can't
Speaker 2: just be helpful for the people listening because sometimes I,
Speaker 2: like I said, I love talking to my like different
Speaker 2: people that are that are different stages of business, and
Speaker 2: then also leaning in Like I just reached out to
Speaker 2: a friend of mine. His name is Rohan. He he's
Speaker 2: been a business longer than me and his business does
Speaker 2: better and I was asking him a question. He gave
Speaker 2: me one little tip that was like life changing. That
Speaker 2: circle is important having mentors and sponsors and coaches, right,
Speaker 2: having peers people who are like similar level, and then
Speaker 2: having mentees. The mentees keep you sharp, like as I'm
Speaker 2: solving your problem, it's also really helping me to think
Speaker 2: differently and expand my capacity for challenges. And you know,
Speaker 2: so it's always I love that loop, like you know,
Speaker 2: this kind of people who know more than you, people
Speaker 2: who are similar than to you, and people who are
Speaker 2: newer than you are. I think that three tiered approach
Speaker 2: to kind of like your business circle is will really
Speaker 2: do you well, you know, No.
Speaker 1: I think I need to be more intentional about that
Speaker 1: circle too, it's I can't. I'm trying to think who's
Speaker 1: the circle. The circle is there, but it's like when
Speaker 1: do you reach out and in the right and I
Speaker 1: kind of just take it, you know, situationally, when there's
Speaker 1: a situation, I try to find the right person versus
Speaker 1: having like schedule time for this person and that person.
Speaker 1: I'll let you know, Well, listen, should we take a
Speaker 1: quick breaking break and come back and do some boostyrk
Speaker 1: some boosts and breaks. Let's take a quick breaking right back, y'all,
Speaker 1: stick around, don't forget y'all.
Speaker 2: We have our questions in a separate episode. You might
Speaker 2: be like, where's the question?
Speaker 1: Separate EPI ETI on Fridays. Yeah, our new bonus episode
Speaker 1: on Fridays. So still send us your questions Bronibision Podcast
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Speaker 1: Ambition Podcast at GEMA. I just said that, or go
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Speaker 1: you go, All right, we are back. You ready to
Speaker 1: boost or break? Mims Tiffany, Yes.
Speaker 2: It's time to boost up break or boost up? Break up? Boost?
Speaker 2: Oh break, I'm gonna break. Okay, he knows the plan.
Speaker 1: Let's go.
Speaker 2: I am literally and figuratively breaking from social media. Okay,
Speaker 2: I came back on Monday, I didn't really do like,
Speaker 2: I didn't do any social media, and then Wednesday was
Speaker 2: my official day back on social got to social lying
Speaker 2: promptly started to feel anxiety and depression. I was like, Mandy,
Speaker 2: like crazy. I was like, it took me a wile
Speaker 2: of reals, I'm like, what is this feeling? You were
Speaker 2: so happy on Monday, so happy on Tuesday.
Speaker 1: Who are you following?
Speaker 2: Now? You know what it was? What I realized is
Speaker 2: that I'm not following anyone negative. I didn't realize how
Speaker 2: much I compared myself and then always found myself lacking.
Speaker 2: So we had a huge milestone. Wooh woo. We just
Speaker 2: sold just over seventy five thousand copies of Gecko with Money,
Speaker 2: which is huge. You know, like, twenty five thousand copies
Speaker 2: in a lifetime is considered a success, fifty thousand copies
Speaker 2: it is considered next level, and then seventy five well, literally,
Speaker 2: only a handful of books ever sell one hundred thousand
Speaker 2: copies every year, and the fact that we're going to
Speaker 2: sell one hundred thousand by the end of the year
Speaker 2: is like astronomical. Right, Yeah, normally I'd be like whoo whoop,
Speaker 2: woop woop. Then I saw a friend of mine whose
Speaker 2: book came out the same time. She had a plaque
Speaker 2: that she had already sold one hundred thousand. So all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, my seventy five looked like whoom. And
Speaker 2: I was like, but I didn't even recognize that that's
Speaker 2: what I was doing to myself. Internally goes, oh my god,
Speaker 2: congratulations for her, but there was this little like, oh girl,
Speaker 2: but you didn't do it. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: oh my.
Speaker 1: You know, is this your next project for Doctor Green?
Speaker 2: No? Maybe so. But what I realized is that I
Speaker 2: am my own Nigerian parent. Because whenever you like, as
Speaker 2: a Nigerian.
Speaker 1: Child, do they have two heads, Tiffany? Is that why
Speaker 1: they have a best selling book?
Speaker 2: It's a little or like my dad would be like, Daddy,
Speaker 2: I got in ninety six, m what happened to the
Speaker 2: other four points? So I realized that I was doing
Speaker 2: that to myself, and I was feeling really bad about it,
Speaker 2: even though I was happy for my friends, you know,
Speaker 2: cause I follow really great positive people, and I thought, like,
Speaker 2: some people can be on and honestly, that doesn't play
Speaker 2: a role for them, you know. But I realized I
Speaker 2: didn't even recognize until I was away that that's what
Speaker 2: I had been doing. And so I literally came off
Speaker 2: and said, Okay, there's an issue here. I want to
Speaker 2: be able to see a thing and recognize it as good,
Speaker 2: but not use it as a tool to make myself
Speaker 2: feel bad, which is what I was doing. Even when
Speaker 2: I saw it, I was like, Okay, Tivy, We're not
Speaker 2: going to do that the next person. We're gonna just
Speaker 2: be happy for them. And I'd be happy for them,
Speaker 2: but still be like it was like a condemnation of like,
Speaker 2: you know, where I should be. And then two, what
Speaker 2: I recognized too is that it was so limiting. Since
Speaker 2: I was away from social media, I've been rethinking and
Speaker 2: restructuring my businesses and next year is going to be
Speaker 2: explosive as a result. And I actually came up with
Speaker 2: this huge disruptive idea for the financial industry that I've
Speaker 2: never seen before that could really just change the way
Speaker 2: people navigate in the finance industry, something that none of
Speaker 2: the big boys have been able to solve for, and
Speaker 2: I have been solving for it for the last ten years,
Speaker 2: and I didn't even I just had not named it.
Speaker 2: And now that I've named it, I'm going to systemize
Speaker 2: it and scale it so anyway, that idea is huge, right,
Speaker 2: But I wouldn't have thought of it because social media
Speaker 2: has me looking that my goal is one hundred because
Speaker 2: she got a hundred, whereas maybe my book could be
Speaker 2: doing three hundred. Do you see what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: social media will have me set my goal to what
Speaker 2: someone else's goal is and then stop there and say
Speaker 2: you did it versus girl, what you had before you
Speaker 2: was three times as much. And so also too, I'm
Speaker 2: pulling myself off social media, Like you won't know the
Speaker 2: difference because I have a team that will run social media.
Speaker 2: But I just really realized that like for me, at
Speaker 2: least for now, social media is really not a place
Speaker 2: for me that you know, it's a place that I
Speaker 2: need to take a break from because one, I use
Speaker 2: it as a tool to make myself feel bad and
Speaker 2: so I fix that we can't go there. And then
Speaker 2: two it's a limiting tool because it has me set
Speaker 2: the bar according to someone else's you know, accomplishments versus
Speaker 2: what I could accomplish fully on my own. So feel
Speaker 2: free to take a if you want to take a
Speaker 2: break with me, a collective break from social for a
Speaker 2: little while, you know, feel free. I'll be over here,
Speaker 2: you know, just get.
Speaker 1: Follow me on TikTok, don't leave, don't leave. It's fine
Speaker 1: here with me.
Speaker 2: But do you say, yeah, go ahead? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't do it so much anymore, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: everyone's different. Let's say, yes, I had a whole different
Speaker 1: set of parents, a whole different life experience, and you know,
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what that must have been. Like my
Speaker 1: parents were thrilled if I brought home a B. It
Speaker 1: was myself that wanted those a's. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: know how I created this like perfectionist out of that,
Speaker 1: because they really were just like, oh baby, you try hard,
Speaker 1: classic American American parents. But I will say with social media,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think the way that I see
Speaker 1: it is I feel like I want people to succeed.
Speaker 1: I haven't always been this way. Obviously, I get jealous
Speaker 1: sometimes too, and I get fomo too, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm just so I'm just so good with what's going
Speaker 1: on now, and it's like I was saying, like, seeing
Speaker 1: your success it makes me feel what's possible for me.
Speaker 1: And you know, for me, it's like kind of a
Speaker 1: flipped scenario where you're saying it kind of limits you.
Speaker 1: I feel like it helps me see what's possible. And
Speaker 1: on top of that, yeah, I mean, social media is
Speaker 1: an important tool for a business. So some people, you know,
Speaker 1: you can't necessarily turn it away or you have to
Speaker 1: outsource it. Maybe you're not. I'm not able to outsource
Speaker 1: mine quite yet. And for me, it's also like my
Speaker 1: way to consume what other creators are creating so that
Speaker 1: I can learn from them. But TikTok, Man, what I
Speaker 1: love about TikTok, and this is why I spend so
Speaker 1: much more time there than Instagram these days. It is
Speaker 1: not the highlight reel TikTok for me at least, what
Speaker 1: they serve me is the reality reel. It is like Mama,
Speaker 1: like the moms of TikTok, it's we're letting our entire
Speaker 1: freak flag fly. I mean like it's almost like TikTok rewards.
Speaker 1: The hotter the mess, the more real, the personal like
Speaker 1: dysfunction of your relationship or your I don't know, that's
Speaker 1: that's almost like the community of weirdos on TikTok. I
Speaker 1: just love it.
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe i'll maybe you know, I never really took
Speaker 2: a look at it, but I love that, and I
Speaker 2: could see that because you're right, I see the tiktoks
Speaker 2: that I see kind of that mostly their ray on
Speaker 2: over to IG are like me and my boyfriend are
Speaker 2: going through this thing, or like, oh the baby spit
Speaker 2: up on me again. So I mean, I don't. I'm
Speaker 2: still taking just like a break for now, just to
Speaker 2: and to your point. Maybe I'll bring it up to
Speaker 2: doctor Green to be like, oh, how do I because
Speaker 2: I told her that social media can be and she's like, honestly, Tiffany,
Speaker 2: it very much can be, and it's okay to take
Speaker 2: breaks away, and not to say I'm.
Speaker 1: Never one thousand percent. It's all all just to say
Speaker 1: that you just need to be true to yourself. You
Speaker 1: always have that, you know what's right for you, you know,
Speaker 1: And so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Really should probably give up TikTok at least. I mean,
Speaker 1: but the time that when you said you came up
Speaker 1: with this business idea, I worry about spending so much
Speaker 1: time consuming other content is less time that I can
Speaker 1: use to create my own there's a certain limit where
Speaker 1: it becomes less educational for me and more like maybe
Speaker 1: you should just be doing your own thing and not
Speaker 1: sitting here like like you know the face that you
Speaker 1: have when you turn your camera and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden on your phone You're like, oh, is that how
Speaker 1: I'm sitting like with like fortunes and like food on
Speaker 1: your shirt.
Speaker 2: No, the worst is like when you look at your
Speaker 2: phone at night, right, and then you do the thing
Speaker 2: You're like, wow, that's my signals time to go to bed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's bad. It's bad. Okay, well, thank you for
Speaker 1: sharing that my brain. My boost is this, So it's
Speaker 1: a boot. It could have been a break, but it
Speaker 1: was a boost because I was just actually brand Ambish
Speaker 1: and we were mentioned in an article and on a
Speaker 1: personal finance publication, very nice, and I just happened to
Speaker 1: scan the rest of the article and it was all
Speaker 1: these different things that you can do to improve your
Speaker 1: finances this year, and one of the tips was negotiate
Speaker 1: like a white man. When I did like the eye
Speaker 1: scrolling version of my eyes screw like tires squealing, I said,
Speaker 1: what And I actually know the person who wrote it.
Speaker 1: So I reached out and I was like, I have
Speaker 1: some emotions about this article. I'd love to talk to you.
Speaker 1: I could have written a very long email, but I
Speaker 1: was like, I want to talk, and we ended up
Speaker 1: having actually a really good, meaningful conversation. So the issue
Speaker 1: that I told this person about he's a man, a
Speaker 1: white man, and this tip was well meaning. It was
Speaker 1: a subhead bold you know, negotiate like a white man.
Speaker 1: And the excerpt below it was about a woman who
Speaker 1: I had talked about. What often is said to women
Speaker 1: in business situations or you know, financial is like negotiate harder,
Speaker 1: ask for more, where this used the firm handshake. I
Speaker 1: told him the problem with this headline and for me,
Speaker 1: is once again we are trying to put the blame
Speaker 1: or put the onus and put the work on the
Speaker 1: shoulders of the people who don't have the power in
Speaker 1: a negotiation. Often, if you're a woman and you're interviewing
Speaker 1: for a job, for sure, you don't have the information
Speaker 1: on their end. You don't know the budget, you don't
Speaker 1: know the dynamics behind the scenes, you don't know you
Speaker 1: know what's been improved for this role, what's been benchmarked
Speaker 1: you don't know any of that stuff, and the people
Speaker 1: who do, they're the ones who have the power to
Speaker 1: be sure that you're paid what you're worth. But why
Speaker 1: is it that we kind of put that on women?
Speaker 1: You know, you need to know your worth, you need
Speaker 1: to do your research. Why are we working so hard
Speaker 1: to break into a system that is sexist and racist?
Speaker 1: Why not focus on the system itself. So I've always
Speaker 1: been very passionate about, like, dude, train your managers to
Speaker 1: be aware of their unconscious bias when they're interviewing. Make
Speaker 1: sure that you have a clear compensation, benchmarking, salary plan,
Speaker 1: and system and process, because I believe processes and systems
Speaker 1: are what protect against the human instinct to be an asshole,
Speaker 1: like to be biased, to be stereotype. You know, I
Speaker 1: wasn't even saying all this as fortfulity to him. I was,
Speaker 1: you know, it was an interesting conversation. It was one
Speaker 1: of those things where it could have been a quick
Speaker 1: little comment on an article I could have posted like
Speaker 1: a passive, aggressive TikTok about it or whatever, but I
Speaker 1: was like, let me talk to him. I think he
Speaker 1: means well. But it's just these little those that messaging
Speaker 1: that you get from society that something is wrong with us. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know that if only we could just be like
Speaker 1: the magical white man, we would be doing better.
Speaker 2: You know, that is the name of this episode, the
Speaker 2: magical white Man.
Speaker 1: The mythical magical white Man. And this is why I
Speaker 1: told this guy. I was like, I said, no, listen.
Speaker 1: The other problem with this headline is also like it
Speaker 1: makes it seem like white men are these miraculous negotiators. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like they are doing something so fantastic, They're so smart,
Speaker 1: they have no no. I know plenty and I have
Speaker 1: interviewed plenty of awkward, quiet, passive, shy Menut like these
Speaker 1: are versions of men too. You know, they're not all
Speaker 1: walking into offices with the big, hairy you know, handshake
Speaker 1: and the business suit and you know they've all watched
Speaker 1: Wolf of Wall Street or whatever that movie was. You know, Like, no,
Speaker 1: there's plenty of guys who would come in all different
Speaker 1: shapes and sizes and demeanors and personalities. The fact is
Speaker 1: white men they just have the benefit of the doubt,
Speaker 1: and that literally translates to money in their pocket that
Speaker 1: they did not do anything special or miraculous to deserve.
Speaker 1: So what do you want me to learn how to
Speaker 1: do like be a white man.
Speaker 2: I can't do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. So it's not good
Speaker 1: advice and it's dangerous and it proliferates just a stereotype
Speaker 1: and a way of speaking to women that I think
Speaker 1: has really hurt us. And my boost is because we
Speaker 1: had a really good conversation and he's going to change.
Speaker 1: He's going to change the article and he ended up
Speaker 1: being really open to having that. But he's you know,
Speaker 1: he was just like, I can see how quickly dashed
Speaker 1: off a subhead like that, you know, could be could
Speaker 1: be hurtful and have an impact.
Speaker 2: And no, I love that. I love that boosty and
Speaker 2: I love that and honestly I love that also I
Speaker 2: love the break, but I also love the boost. And
Speaker 2: so I'm glad that you had that conversation people, because
Speaker 2: sometimes people are not open to feedback and so the
Speaker 2: fact that he was oping to feedback is oh so
Speaker 2: good because that means he's going to be mindful moving forward.
Speaker 2: So we love a feedback feeling.
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, thank you. They don't all react that way.
Speaker 1: So I appreciate you. Shouts out to you. You know
Speaker 1: who you are. You are well, did we do it?
Speaker 1: Did we do another show?
Speaker 2: We did it? And if you really love us, you
Speaker 2: will tell three five friends to listen to Brown and
Speaker 2: Fish that here you get your life. You get to
Speaker 2: learn a little bit about business, career, finance and money.
Speaker 2: You get a little tea about me and Manny's life
Speaker 2: and how.
Speaker 1: We're man flash sweaty pit moment, my.
Speaker 2: Hot flash moment. That's why I got my little fan.
Speaker 2: Here you get to learn all the things. Isn't this cute?
Speaker 2: I got some Nigia.
Speaker 1: I think that is cute.
Speaker 2: I have a family. Like for those of you non vieway, like,
Speaker 2: if you were watching on YouTube, handhand, you'd be able
Speaker 2: to see that I pulled out a ration. This is
Speaker 2: no wait, this is made at a palm. I don't
Speaker 2: know anyway, It's a beautiful fan that I'm using to
Speaker 2: fan myself. You would only know that if you were
Speaker 2: watching us via YouTube. But you know you're missing that
Speaker 2: if you're not. No, but honestly, like, we would love
Speaker 2: if wherever you listen to Brown Ambition, you know, share
Speaker 2: the link, like not just hey guys, listen, but like, honestly,
Speaker 2: I'd love this episode that think you were talking about
Speaker 2: that thing you were sharing sis brauh other. You know here,
Speaker 2: here's a really great podcast that I think is going
Speaker 2: to relate to you, So share it with them. I
Speaker 2: think that they would love it in return.
Speaker 1: So at least three people minimum, as you know, three
Speaker 1: people Amazon, Guy, Door, Dash person like you know you
Speaker 1: know three people? Yeah, everyone has a parent?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: All right, well until Friday. You can check out our
Speaker 1: mini qan a episode this Friday. Check it out, rate
Speaker 1: and review, etcetera, etcetera. You see all then bye