WEBVTT - Richard E. Grant 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:08.160 The amount of people that have said to me, where 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:09.280 do you keep your skill? 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:14.520 Because they were convinced that or wanted to be convinced 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:15.360 that I had wanted. 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:23.720 Yeah, I've never had that. But people think I went 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:27.200 to Harvard because Skyler, the character I played in Goodle 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.000 he went to Harvard. Most people they're like, what was 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:37.279 Harvard by? It was amazing? Hello, I'm mini driver. I've 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:41.960 always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was originally in nineteenth century 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:45.159 parlor game where players would ask each other thirty five 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:49.680 questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature. In 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:52.680 asking different people the same set of questions, you can 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:56.200 make observations about which truths appear to be universal. And 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:59.040 it made me wonder, what if these questions were just 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:02.160 a jumping off point, what greater depths would be revealed 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:06.080 if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So I 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.240 adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven questions 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:12.039 that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story. 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:15.480 They are when and where were you happiest? What is 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.959 the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:22.720 or fictionalized, defines love? For you, What question would you 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:26.840 most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.600 you the most? What would be your last meal? And 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.200 can you tell me something in your life that's grown 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.679 out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:40.240 of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:42.959 humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:46.240 may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions. 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:49.800 We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:54.160 their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most 0:01:54.160 --> 0:02:00.560 fertile ground to connect. My guest today is the comparable 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:05.200 actor and author Richard E. Grant. I say incomparable because 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.520 I have genuinely never met anyone in my life who 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:15.720 is as curious, interested, fun, clever, positive and wise as Richard. 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.440 He's the person you're most pleased to see when you 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:22.000 walk into a room full of strangers or of friends. 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:25.440 And it's quite confronting interviewing him because he follows up 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:29.600 every question with one for you, and he won't stop 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:32.400 until you've answered it. And it's not as a deflection, 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:37.240 but it's because he's interested. I have three favorite movies, 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:40.880 and Richard's first movie with them, and I is one 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:45.000 of them. It is a film that is so perfectly 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:50.920 and eccentricly British, and the wayward, giant, roaring character of 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:54.040 with Noel, who Richard plays, is lodged forever and ever 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:58.800 in my heart, like the Queen and the Clash and 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:02.120 cucumber sandwiches. It's quite rare for actors to begin with 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:07.040 a moment of pure incandescence and to then consistently expand 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:09.440 beyond that in a unique and engaging way. I mean, 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:13.160 I think, but to me, Richard has done that throughout 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:17.360 his entire career. We talk about London and our loves, 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:23.160 about Oscars and competitive creativity and about loss. As ever, 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:27.680 it was a riveting and wonderful conversation. And if you 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.800 haven't already read his book A Pocket Full of Happiness, 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:33.640 I urge you to do so, because it is a 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:38.440 truly beautifully written book. And you can watch him later 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.560 this year in the movie's Death of a Unicorn and urrembug. 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:45.080 Do you know this was the first year in twenty 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.520 five years that I haven't gone to the Oscars or 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:52.080 any of the Oscar parties and just stayed at home. 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.080 I mean, it was very difficult to get from Malibu. 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:56.280 Everything shot, the roads were all still shut. There was 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:59.400 no possible way of doing it anyway, But it was 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:03.280 It was so interesting to just observe and to see 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.840 the pageant from a distance, because it really is a pageant. 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:11.080 It's funny, so observing big thing from not being there. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.720 Yeah, how did that make you feel about it? 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:18.760 To actually realize that. I have always struggled with the 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:23.200 idea of competitive creativity, the idea that you would be 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:27.480 put into a position where you are are judging who 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:33.400 is best Jeremy Strong or Kieran Culkin or Edward Norton. 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:37.120 It's absurd when you break it down. And yet there's 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:39.719 this delight and wonder and the speech of the person 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:43.200 that does win, and the excitement, and there's there's something 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:47.440 It felt like it felt sort of Roman, That's what 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:49.280 it felt like. It felt like it was the Colosseum. 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:52.160 It just it felt like it was proper entertainment, that 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:55.840 you shouldn't really take any of it to heart at 0:04:55.920 --> 0:05:01.200 all and just have a big fun party, win lou Straw, whatever. 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.160 And I think it was sort of seeing that and 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.240 the celebration more than the competition. 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:08.560 You know it's all competitions. 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:13.040 Yeah, when they focused on each person's face awful momer making. 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.520 But they you know before people are going to Louis. 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:19.799 It's we watched because you don't. 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:23.160 Get it livening My George and I watched the pil 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:28.920 activity and she could not dare to look at any more. 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:30.920 It was horrific. It's horrific. 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:33.719 Well she was then, because any time I don't have 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:37.800 been there six years ago was I can remember I 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:38.800 was in the third row. 0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:42.280 Glen Clace was in the stunt blow in the middle 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.479 of the stunt bowen in a bold dress. 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:49.080 I remember an awfully pound train behind them, so she 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:54.760 looked like human Oscar and Olivia Oemen was eighteen brows 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.479 back in boone box and had done no publicity shooting 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:03.680 Brown and every single plandis and you know, all the 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:04.680 Vaga Solts everything. 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.279 Were the Glen close for a sixth nomination. 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.320 Gene on the Golden Globe, and I think the exact 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:16.440 same thing happened to Ignore as well, saying it's it's 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:19.960 absolutely brutal to anybody outside of Sherby's. 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.680 It's like with people worrying about that, and they love it. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.200 They love seeing the faces of the gutted people, it's 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.599 like it's like, that's right, you didn't win. 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:30.320 I tell you what was so we are suing is 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:32.560 that I knew in Cavali that I was six years 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:35.800 ago that the other PHO nominee is because we all 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:39.359 got to know each other, as you know that I 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.520 got to know all the other guys almost. 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:46.320 Of five months political campaign, and we all. 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:49.560 Knew that Mahashel Ali was going to win because it 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:52.520 was it was a given at that point. And like 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.719 like qan Falcon this year, there's always one award where 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.320 it's absolutely ye, you're not able to prepare the speech 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:02.280 because you know, unless you dropped there and said, oh, 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.400 you know, as a results of this pressing, I've been here. 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:07.159 That's why I'm here. And as soon as. 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:11.320 The nominees came up and any Pillar and the other 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:14.840 two comedy partners in crime is sitting directly behind me 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:20.200 chapping off the shoulder and loser welcome to the Losers Club, 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:22.440 and they said ninety nine percent of the people that 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:23.120 they go back. 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:28.440 To, we're the majority. I said, there must have been 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:31.200 some percentage of your brain which I thought, no, there's 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:33.960 a chance on the worst. They said, you're lying, You're lying. 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:38.080 I said, believe me. I knew, we knew it was 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:41.320 a bottle, no chance. But you're talking about the Colosseum. 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:45.120 Thing is that it is not always about as we know, 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:49.120 it's not about the best. It's about they say deserves 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:51.440 the most or who is the most popular at this 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:54.480 point in time. And it's like the economy wanted to 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:56.040 give it to Charon Copkin. 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.600 Yes, yes, and they wanted to give it to Mikey Madison. 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:03.680 It's true. It's a funny sort of tidal thing. Like 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:07.800 it was really interesting just watching it, not being there 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:09.840 and not kind of getting ready to go out to 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:11.440 the parties and being in a state of sort of 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:14.640 you know, fizz and excitement. It was just to genially 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:18.360 watch it and to enjoy it and to listen. I 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:20.600 remember when I was nominated when they called it because 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.040 it was always the first category back in the day 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:26.480 best Supporting Actress. And my dad just like he was 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:28.640 holding my hand and he just leant over as they 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:30.200 were reading out the nominies and he was like, you 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:32.640 do know you're not going to win ant you I 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:37.800 was like, hold off, what I mean? Yes, But also maybe, 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:40.800 and he was like, I'm not this. I mean, it 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:44.400 was so funny and great to have him there, and 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:48.880 I was chuckling at him doing that in that moment. 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:50.880 It was like having someone pinching your finger when you're 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.560 getting an injection that you're busy looking at that thing 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:57.600 and thinking that's funny. Well, the hard thing's happenings. 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:00.640 When she came with me, Joan couldn't face good the 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:04.160 last minute. My daughter said, whatever happens. Do you know 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:07.640 that you're one of five actors on the planet this 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:11.280 moment because see dissmination. They can never take that away 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.400 from me for evermore until you're boxed up and blount. 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:16.640 It shall be am. 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:17.520 It's true. 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:19.080 And I know that you had this experience. 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:21.760 But the amount of people that have said to me, 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:23.840 where do you keep your skill? 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:29.120 Because they were convinced that or wanted to be convinced 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:32.000 that I had want Yeah, you know, after a while, 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:34.800 I just you know, civilians would say, you know, where 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:41.760 do you keep it? I'd say, I'll tell you what. 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:43.880 No, I've never had that. But people think I went 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:47.320 to Harvard because Skuyler, the character I played in Pople 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:50.720 he went to Harvard. Most people They're like they were like, 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:51.480 what was Horvord? 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:55.200 Like, well, that was great, you know, I'm in mensa. 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.280 It was amazing, it was lovely. I got my honorary 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:00.840 doctorate after playing a Actually who went there? 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:01.280 When? When? 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.760 When Wind not going to the oscars this year? Did 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:06.480 you suffer from fomo? 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:11.280 Actually? Actually no, it's funny I thought that I would. 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.040 I did. I did wake up in the middle of 0:10:13.080 --> 0:10:14.840 the night at like two thirteen, and I was like, 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:17.880 and I knew all of my friends who would just be. 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.320 Rage for the granity Fair party. 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:32.120 Where and when were you happiest? 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:38.640 Well, it's like telepathic because it's just because we would 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:42.360 just have the oscars. I was sitting with our daughter 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:47.480 in an Italian restaurant at one thirty in the afternoon 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:51.080 in English time. We both had iPhones on the table, 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:57.040 leaning against the salt sellers. The names of the nominees 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:01.760 came up, and when Timothy's name didn't come up, need 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:05.080 always being pulled the boss the five. When Key didn't 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:07.760 come up, I thought, oh, that's it, and I, you know, spit. 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:10.240 Second I looked at our daughter and thought, I'm not 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:14.480 I'm not getting a nomination and dang. Next second, name 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.679 came up, So I think that's as you will know 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:21.320 more than anybody. That's it is that moment that you 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:24.840 feel the approbation or the sort of stample of approval 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:28.240 of your peers that they have you feel seen. 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:30.400 You know, you're think all away as an actor, and 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.960 you do the stuff. And I never won any award 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:36.040 or denominated for stuff ever was all so when this happened, 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:39.480 it was such an aut of body experience that that 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:43.240 moment I thought, I will never ever have this feeling 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:44.640 again in quite the same way. 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.319 And it's not like falling in larval, you know, when 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.920 you get married or the birth of your child. It 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:53.720 is something that is I don't know outside of that, 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:57.520 and you I take for an actor just that basic equation, 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.560 but a formula that I find most actors of big 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:04.440 ego low self esteem, which is always contradictive for people 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:07.480 to understand because they think, you know, you seem so confident, 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:10.600 you know what you have low self esteem? You go, yeah, 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:13.640 most actors I know do, but have a big enough 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:14.200 eager to go. 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.559 Give me the path over many drive. I can put 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:18.240 on a right. 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:21.520 And I can have Charlie hair, and I can puante 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:24.480 more teeth, dumb ike and stuff. And I think that 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:27.400 goes right back to being a kid, when it's like 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:30.440 watch me, Dad, watch me map, and when your whole 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:32.920 profession or it feels like your whole profession is kind 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:33.599 of going. 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:34.320 We see you. 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:38.840 That was absolutely Zilo working and as good as anything 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:39.840 every experience. 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.920 It's so good to hear you say that, because it 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:47.040 is an extraordinaryly rarefied experience and it is like a 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:52.080 bolt of pure lightning. And you're right, it's about being 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.480 I used to. I mean, I still think that ninety 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:58.640 percent of parenting is witnessing the whole look at me, 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:00.079 look at me on the swings man, we look at me, 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.080 look at me do this thing, And that taken to 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.839 the nth degree in kids who want to act and 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:08.520 who love acting and are that way incline, it is 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:12.079 about being witnessed. It's about being seen for this extraordinarily 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:16.120 ephemeral and creative and strange magic that lives inside an actor. 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.480 I know that sounds wildly poncy, but you know what 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:18.880 I mean. 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:22.240 On the world and only let me just stop you there, madam, 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:26.880 because I thought that it was a victim specifically to actors, 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:32.120 and yet if somebody has delivered something, or has done 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:35.480 some carpentry or fixed something or done with gardner whatever. 0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:38.880 Somebody's come to do something. You know they're being paid 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:39.720 as we are paid. 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:44.760 They want to be acknowledged and praised for it, just 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:46.920 like the mediatest actor that I've ever timoplast. 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.880 Sometimes more so it's the acknowledgment of your work. 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:52.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:55.120 The exo because I think, like you've just said, whether 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.760 you're a carpenter or a plumber, or an electrician or 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:00.320 a teacher, the thing that you have inside I do 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.800 for it to become exo, to not be that internal 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.280 experience of this thing, is this thing that I love, 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:08.440 but rather to put it on the outside and then 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:12.319 to have people go, yes, indeed, I acknowledge that magic 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:16.479 is magic. It's fleeting, but it is so wonderful. 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:18.680 You know, it's all the climate I've been all the 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:21.160 time when people say they give somebody a gift, and 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:22.120 I hear the master. 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:25.040 Person, But did you like it? Did you really like it? 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:28.320 And think this is as needing as the only actor 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.520 kind of going. Have you seen my show? Did you 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.880 like that performance? For the basic rid. 0:14:34.200 --> 0:14:38.080 One hundred percent is to feel useful, needed and acknowledged. 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.000 We just do it in like you know, clothes that 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:44.000 get judged and people who are annoyed by what they 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.720 can perceived to be an extraordinarily glamorous life. I would 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:51.000 like to tell you, honestly, Manchester is a great, worthy, 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:55.800 amazing northern city, but it is so dark and cold 0:14:55.920 --> 0:15:01.600 and rainy and pretty doer. I was shooting in a 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.440 basement on a night shoot the other night, in the 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:09.880 freezing cold rain, thinking there is nothing less glamorous in 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:13.920 the whole world than pretending in a basement in the 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:16.760 middle of the night for money. 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.400 But it's still better than joming down a coal mine 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:20.840 every day. 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:24.160 In fact, that's exactly what jimmy Nesbit said. He literally 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.960 said that he went it beats going down a coal mine, 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:42.520 and I was like, correct, So what is the quality 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:44.360 you like least about yourself? 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:48.640 That doubt? 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:52.040 And I have that every day, even at sixty seven 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:57.600 three quarters. I try and that's why I yeah, Clampton shots, 0:15:57.640 --> 0:16:01.440 but at the beginning of every job, in particular, that 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:04.800 that just comes in, like the ob truss lands on 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:07.280 each shoulder goes you can't do this. 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:11.520 Everybody the weed through is doing it. Williantly, and every 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:14.520 word that comes out of your mouth is like dropping 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:17.720 like a shrinking anvil, and people are going, oh my god, 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:19.840 we should have thought, you know, and I could just 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:23.000 see the name of the people, but would be my contemporan. 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:27.080 So that is the thing that I've come to accept, 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:31.600 that it's something that you have to just tell the 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.800 thing to shut up. But sometimes it does overwhelm you. 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.920 And right top after the first read through of something, 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:41.120 and after the first day of shooting, I anticipate that 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.560 I'm going to be fired the next day. And if 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:47.280 i haven't been, I think win win. And this is 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:51.680 not disingenious because I did a TV series that came 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:55.080 up earlier this year and after the weed through the 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:58.120 media actor, we did the weed through a chalklop in 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:01.280 the afternoon, and at four thirty in the afternoon, my 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:05.520 Asian coudinates said, little going back intomorrow because they've a placed. 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:05.800 The lead act. 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:10.320 Oh my god, fine, so you can be replaced like 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:14.680 that is very real. I mean, that's only happened twice 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:17.840 of my body is doing this, but the fact that 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:22.040 it has happened and it does happen, I find feeds 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:25.040 all that Parania, what's yours? 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:30.320 Oh God? I mean, there's a mercurialness that I find 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:34.840 terrifying in myself that I know I am a fundamentally 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:38.360 good person. I've observed myself for fifty five years. I'm 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:41.080 a good mother, and I know the nice things. But 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:44.560 there is just this kraken in me that comes out 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:52.080 sometimes of intolerance and impatience and not being aware of 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:57.080 how powerful I think I am in my reactions and 0:17:57.160 --> 0:18:01.240 how that can affect other people. Made amends, truly, and 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:02.879 if that's the only thing that comes with age, is 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:06.080 an immediate and acute awareness. But in terms of like 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.719 the quality that I like least about myself, it's the 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:10.880 one that I need to shine the light on the 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:15.920 most is impatience and not realizing that that might hurt 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.080 somebody because of the way that I might react quickly 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:19.680 to something. 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:22.879 What this situation? Why you did lose it? 0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:27.520 I was doing something that required complete attention and someone 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:30.920 kept asking me to focus on what they were doing, 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:34.040 and I said, I just need five minutes. I just 0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:37.600 have to I'm really sorry, and I'd started there, and 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:39.960 then they kept asking me, and eventually I was like, 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:43.320 could you please just give me five minutes and it 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:46.840 upset the person, It really upset them. But what can 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:50.560 you do as like a fractured fragile human except to 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:54.240 go this is my shittiest bit and this is the 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:57.240 place that requires work. I am not perfect. 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:01.960 Now you see yourself as a fractured fragile people, I think. 0:19:01.760 --> 0:19:04.840 We all are. And that's only looking at the fractured fragile. 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.639 But it's then there are the great, wonderful, generous, kind, 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:12.399 loving open parts of everybody that are comforting to others, 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:14.960 and that all the good things. But I do think 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:17.720 that we've sort of been told that we're meant to 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.720 be perfect all the time, and it's impossible. So all 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:22.960 you can do is when you see your imperfection happening, 0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:26.600 I think, is to acknowledge it, to have an awareness 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:30.359 about it, to apologize if you need to apologize, To 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:32.800 sit down and have a proper talk with yourself about 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:35.480 this thing that you would continue you need and want 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:40.240 to change, and file it under in the serenity prayer, 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.280 God garant me the serenity to accept the things I 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:45.280 cannot change and change the things that I can. Did 0:19:45.359 --> 0:19:49.480 you do what did you need to absolutely to absolutely apologized? 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:53.639 Explain what was going on. I'm really sorry that was 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:56.280 on me, that was my bad says what else can 0:19:56.320 --> 0:20:00.440 you do? Accept a knowledge in the moment that you're 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:04.159 not at your best and say I'm really really sorry. 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:07.040 I think about when people have done that with me, 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:09.800 and if someone's looked me in the eye and apologized 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:14.159 for an unkindness or anger, it's very hard for me 0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:16.560 not to forgive them because I think I feel like 0:20:16.960 --> 0:20:19.680 it's the acknowledgment of that behavior that is the most 0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:20.199 important thing. 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:23.879 Have you worked with an actor or producer who is 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:26.560 tefron coaching They don't care if they're runed all? 0:20:26.840 --> 0:20:30.200 Yeah, I have. And also there seems to be absolutely 0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:32.840 no consequence at all. But my mother used to say 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:35.480 to me, she was like the fact that there is 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:38.480 always consequence for you. Mini if you have a harsh word, 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:41.639 or you're sharp or something and someone tells you that 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:44.040 they feel bad, is that you have the opportunity and 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:47.280 the inclination to fix it and to work on it, 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:50.399 and that that's a gift rather than get constantly getting 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:52.679 away with it and having people speak badly about you. 0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:54.720 But you carry on working, and you you know, do 0:20:54.800 --> 0:20:56.680 you know what I mean when you said about doubt. 0:20:56.680 --> 0:21:02.600 It reminded me of that Peter Strawn piece of writing 0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:06.480 in Conclave that Ray Lyin says when he says, I'm 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:09.400 paraphrating if everything was certain, there would be no mystery, 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:15.520 and without mystery there would be no faith. So I'm 0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:20.639 supplanting mystery for doubt and the opposite of certainty, and 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:24.720 that it does require a sort of a faith in 0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:27.040 the innate unics of you and that. 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:29.440 People love you, or do you find that face? 0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:33.600 I honestly think you have to set your coordinance for everything, 0:21:33.800 --> 0:21:37.560 for everything that you want in yourself, that is difficult. 0:21:38.400 --> 0:21:41.320 You have to set your coordinance towards that, and your 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:43.800 faith is that you hope that your ship will sail there. 0:21:44.080 --> 0:21:45.440 If it doesn't, then what do you do. 0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:48.320 You take a dead reckoning that is a sailing town, Richard. 0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:51.720 You take a dead reckoning from where you are when 0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:54.320 you don't know where you are and you don't know what. 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:57.320 You take a dead reckoning, which is from the last 0:21:57.359 --> 0:22:00.520 known position. You take a reading of where you think 0:22:00.560 --> 0:22:03.160 you might be going. But I think it's about intention, 0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:05.720 not in so much in sailing. In sailing, you don't 0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:07.960 want to just intend to get to where. 0:22:07.760 --> 0:22:12.520 You're going, should there be an analysis of your lid 0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:14.480 you put your boat in at ports and something like, right, 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:16.400 I'm intending to get to the Caribbean. 0:22:17.560 --> 0:22:19.879 I'm intending Barbados by lunchtime. 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:23.360 I think that's a great course of action. Don't think 0:22:23.400 --> 0:22:25.760 it along, just go for it. 0:22:30.440 --> 0:22:34.520 What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:40.439