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Speaker 1: The amount of people that have said to me, where

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Speaker 1: do you keep your skill?

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Speaker 2: Because they were convinced that or wanted to be convinced

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Speaker 2: that I had wanted.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never had that. But people think I went

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Speaker 3: to Harvard because Skyler, the character I played in Goodle

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Speaker 3: he went to Harvard. Most people they're like, what was

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Speaker 3: Harvard by? It was amazing? Hello, I'm mini driver. I've

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Speaker 3: always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was originally in nineteenth century

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Speaker 3: parlor game where players would ask each other thirty five

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Speaker 3: questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature. In

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Speaker 3: asking different people the same set of questions, you can

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Speaker 3: make observations about which truths appear to be universal. And

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Speaker 3: it made me wonder, what if these questions were just

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Speaker 3: a jumping off point, what greater depths would be revealed

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Speaker 3: if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So I

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Speaker 3: adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven questions

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Speaker 3: that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story.

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Speaker 3: They are when and where were you happiest? What is

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Speaker 3: the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real

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Speaker 3: or fictionalized, defines love? For you, What question would you

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Speaker 3: most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped

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Speaker 3: you the most? What would be your last meal? And

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Speaker 3: can you tell me something in your life that's grown

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Speaker 3: out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group

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Speaker 3: of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and

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Speaker 3: humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You

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Speaker 3: may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions.

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Speaker 3: We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to

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Speaker 3: their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most

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Speaker 3: fertile ground to connect. My guest today is the comparable

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Speaker 3: actor and author Richard E. Grant. I say incomparable because

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Speaker 3: I have genuinely never met anyone in my life who

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Speaker 3: is as curious, interested, fun, clever, positive and wise as Richard.

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Speaker 3: He's the person you're most pleased to see when you

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Speaker 3: walk into a room full of strangers or of friends.

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Speaker 3: And it's quite confronting interviewing him because he follows up

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Speaker 3: every question with one for you, and he won't stop

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Speaker 3: until you've answered it. And it's not as a deflection,

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Speaker 3: but it's because he's interested. I have three favorite movies,

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Speaker 3: and Richard's first movie with them, and I is one

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Speaker 3: of them. It is a film that is so perfectly

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Speaker 3: and eccentricly British, and the wayward, giant, roaring character of

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Speaker 3: with Noel, who Richard plays, is lodged forever and ever

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Speaker 3: in my heart, like the Queen and the Clash and

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Speaker 3: cucumber sandwiches. It's quite rare for actors to begin with

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Speaker 3: a moment of pure incandescence and to then consistently expand

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Speaker 3: beyond that in a unique and engaging way. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I think, but to me, Richard has done that throughout

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Speaker 3: his entire career. We talk about London and our loves,

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Speaker 3: about Oscars and competitive creativity and about loss. As ever,

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Speaker 3: it was a riveting and wonderful conversation. And if you

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Speaker 3: haven't already read his book A Pocket Full of Happiness,

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Speaker 3: I urge you to do so, because it is a

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Speaker 3: truly beautifully written book. And you can watch him later

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Speaker 3: this year in the movie's Death of a Unicorn and urrembug.

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Speaker 3: Do you know this was the first year in twenty

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Speaker 3: five years that I haven't gone to the Oscars or

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Speaker 3: any of the Oscar parties and just stayed at home.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it was very difficult to get from Malibu.

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Speaker 3: Everything shot, the roads were all still shut. There was

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Speaker 3: no possible way of doing it anyway, But it was

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Speaker 3: It was so interesting to just observe and to see

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Speaker 3: the pageant from a distance, because it really is a pageant.

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Speaker 4: It's funny, so observing big thing from not being there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how did that make you feel about it?

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Speaker 3: To actually realize that. I have always struggled with the

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Speaker 3: idea of competitive creativity, the idea that you would be

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Speaker 3: put into a position where you are are judging who

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Speaker 3: is best Jeremy Strong or Kieran Culkin or Edward Norton.

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Speaker 3: It's absurd when you break it down. And yet there's

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Speaker 3: this delight and wonder and the speech of the person

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Speaker 3: that does win, and the excitement, and there's there's something

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Speaker 3: It felt like it felt sort of Roman, That's what

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Speaker 3: it felt like. It felt like it was the Colosseum.

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Speaker 3: It just it felt like it was proper entertainment, that

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Speaker 3: you shouldn't really take any of it to heart at

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Speaker 3: all and just have a big fun party, win lou Straw, whatever.

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Speaker 3: And I think it was sort of seeing that and

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Speaker 3: the celebration more than the competition.

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Speaker 2: You know it's all competitions.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, when they focused on each person's face awful momer making.

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Speaker 2: But they you know before people are going to Louis.

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Speaker 2: It's we watched because you don't.

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Speaker 4: Get it livening My George and I watched the pil

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Speaker 4: activity and she could not dare to look at any more.

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Speaker 3: It was horrific. It's horrific.

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Speaker 4: Well she was then, because any time I don't have

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Speaker 4: been there six years ago was I can remember I

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Speaker 4: was in the third row.

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Speaker 2: Glen Clace was in the stunt blow in the middle

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Speaker 2: of the stunt bowen in a bold dress.

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Speaker 4: I remember an awfully pound train behind them, so she

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Speaker 4: looked like human Oscar and Olivia Oemen was eighteen brows

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Speaker 4: back in boone box and had done no publicity shooting

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Speaker 4: Brown and every single plandis and you know, all the

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Speaker 4: Vaga Solts everything.

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Speaker 2: Were the Glen close for a sixth nomination.

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Speaker 4: Gene on the Golden Globe, and I think the exact

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Speaker 4: same thing happened to Ignore as well, saying it's it's

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Speaker 4: absolutely brutal to anybody outside of Sherby's.

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Speaker 2: It's like with people worrying about that, and they love it.

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Speaker 3: They love seeing the faces of the gutted people, it's

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Speaker 3: like it's like, that's right, you didn't win.

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Speaker 2: I tell you what was so we are suing is

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Speaker 2: that I knew in Cavali that I was six years

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Speaker 2: ago that the other PHO nominee is because we all

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Speaker 2: got to know each other, as you know that I

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Speaker 2: got to know all the other guys almost.

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Speaker 3: Of five months political campaign, and we all.

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Speaker 4: Knew that Mahashel Ali was going to win because it

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Speaker 4: was it was a given at that point. And like

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Speaker 4: like qan Falcon this year, there's always one award where

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Speaker 4: it's absolutely ye, you're not able to prepare the speech

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Speaker 4: because you know, unless you dropped there and said, oh,

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Speaker 4: you know, as a results of this pressing, I've been here.

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Speaker 2: That's why I'm here. And as soon as.

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Speaker 4: The nominees came up and any Pillar and the other

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Speaker 4: two comedy partners in crime is sitting directly behind me

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Speaker 4: chapping off the shoulder and loser welcome to the Losers Club,

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Speaker 4: and they said ninety nine percent of the people that

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Speaker 4: they go back.

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Speaker 2: To, we're the majority. I said, there must have been

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Speaker 2: some percentage of your brain which I thought, no, there's

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Speaker 2: a chance on the worst. They said, you're lying, You're lying.

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Speaker 2: I said, believe me. I knew, we knew it was

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Speaker 2: a bottle, no chance. But you're talking about the Colosseum.

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Speaker 4: Thing is that it is not always about as we know,

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Speaker 4: it's not about the best. It's about they say deserves

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Speaker 4: the most or who is the most popular at this

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Speaker 4: point in time. And it's like the economy wanted to

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Speaker 4: give it to Charon Copkin.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and they wanted to give it to Mikey Madison.

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Speaker 3: It's true. It's a funny sort of tidal thing. Like

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Speaker 3: it was really interesting just watching it, not being there

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Speaker 3: and not kind of getting ready to go out to

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Speaker 3: the parties and being in a state of sort of

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Speaker 3: you know, fizz and excitement. It was just to genially

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Speaker 3: watch it and to enjoy it and to listen. I

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Speaker 3: remember when I was nominated when they called it because

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Speaker 3: it was always the first category back in the day

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Speaker 3: best Supporting Actress. And my dad just like he was

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Speaker 3: holding my hand and he just leant over as they

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Speaker 3: were reading out the nominies and he was like, you

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Speaker 3: do know you're not going to win ant you I

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Speaker 3: was like, hold off, what I mean? Yes, But also maybe,

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Speaker 3: and he was like, I'm not this. I mean, it

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Speaker 3: was so funny and great to have him there, and

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Speaker 3: I was chuckling at him doing that in that moment.

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Speaker 3: It was like having someone pinching your finger when you're

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Speaker 3: getting an injection that you're busy looking at that thing

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Speaker 3: and thinking that's funny. Well, the hard thing's happenings.

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Speaker 4: When she came with me, Joan couldn't face good the

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Speaker 4: last minute. My daughter said, whatever happens. Do you know

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Speaker 4: that you're one of five actors on the planet this

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Speaker 4: moment because see dissmination. They can never take that away

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Speaker 4: from me for evermore until you're boxed up and blount.

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Speaker 4: It shall be am.

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Speaker 3: It's true.

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Speaker 2: And I know that you had this experience.

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Speaker 1: But the amount of people that have said to me,

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Speaker 1: where do you keep your skill?

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Speaker 2: Because they were convinced that or wanted to be convinced

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Speaker 2: that I had want Yeah, you know, after a while,

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Speaker 2: I just you know, civilians would say, you know, where

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Speaker 2: do you keep it? I'd say, I'll tell you what.

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Speaker 3: No, I've never had that. But people think I went

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Speaker 3: to Harvard because Skuyler, the character I played in Pople

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Speaker 3: he went to Harvard. Most people They're like they were like,

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Speaker 3: what was Horvord?

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Speaker 4: Like, well, that was great, you know, I'm in mensa.

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Speaker 3: It was amazing, it was lovely. I got my honorary

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Speaker 3: doctorate after playing a Actually who went there?

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Speaker 2: When? When?

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Speaker 4: When Wind not going to the oscars this year? Did

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Speaker 4: you suffer from fomo?

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Speaker 3: Actually? Actually no, it's funny I thought that I would.

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Speaker 3: I did. I did wake up in the middle of

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Speaker 3: the night at like two thirteen, and I was like,

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Speaker 3: and I knew all of my friends who would just be.

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Speaker 2: Rage for the granity Fair party.

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Speaker 3: Where and when were you happiest?

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Speaker 4: Well, it's like telepathic because it's just because we would

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Speaker 4: just have the oscars. I was sitting with our daughter

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Speaker 4: in an Italian restaurant at one thirty in the afternoon

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Speaker 4: in English time. We both had iPhones on the table,

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Speaker 4: leaning against the salt sellers. The names of the nominees

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Speaker 4: came up, and when Timothy's name didn't come up, need

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Speaker 4: always being pulled the boss the five. When Key didn't

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Speaker 4: come up, I thought, oh, that's it, and I, you know, spit.

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Speaker 4: Second I looked at our daughter and thought, I'm not

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Speaker 4: I'm not getting a nomination and dang. Next second, name

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Speaker 4: came up, So I think that's as you will know

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Speaker 4: more than anybody. That's it is that moment that you

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Speaker 4: feel the approbation or the sort of stample of approval

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Speaker 4: of your peers that they have you feel seen.

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Speaker 2: You know, you're think all away as an actor, and

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Speaker 2: you do the stuff. And I never won any award

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Speaker 2: or denominated for stuff ever was all so when this happened,

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Speaker 2: it was such an aut of body experience that that

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Speaker 2: moment I thought, I will never ever have this feeling

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Speaker 2: again in quite the same way.

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Speaker 4: And it's not like falling in larval, you know, when

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Speaker 4: you get married or the birth of your child. It

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Speaker 4: is something that is I don't know outside of that,

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Speaker 4: and you I take for an actor just that basic equation,

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Speaker 4: but a formula that I find most actors of big

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Speaker 4: ego low self esteem, which is always contradictive for people

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Speaker 4: to understand because they think, you know, you seem so confident,

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Speaker 4: you know what you have low self esteem? You go, yeah,

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Speaker 4: most actors I know do, but have a big enough

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Speaker 4: eager to go.

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Speaker 2: Give me the path over many drive. I can put

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Speaker 2: on a right.

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Speaker 4: And I can have Charlie hair, and I can puante

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Speaker 4: more teeth, dumb ike and stuff. And I think that

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Speaker 4: goes right back to being a kid, when it's like

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Speaker 4: watch me, Dad, watch me map, and when your whole

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Speaker 4: profession or it feels like your whole profession is kind

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Speaker 4: of going.

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Speaker 2: We see you.

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Speaker 4: That was absolutely Zilo working and as good as anything

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Speaker 4: every experience.

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Speaker 3: It's so good to hear you say that, because it

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Speaker 3: is an extraordinaryly rarefied experience and it is like a

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Speaker 3: bolt of pure lightning. And you're right, it's about being

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Speaker 3: I used to. I mean, I still think that ninety

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Speaker 3: percent of parenting is witnessing the whole look at me,

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Speaker 3: look at me on the swings man, we look at me,

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Speaker 3: look at me do this thing, And that taken to

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Speaker 3: the nth degree in kids who want to act and

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Speaker 3: who love acting and are that way incline, it is

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Speaker 3: about being witnessed. It's about being seen for this extraordinarily

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Speaker 3: ephemeral and creative and strange magic that lives inside an actor.

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Speaker 3: I know that sounds wildly poncy, but you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean.

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Speaker 5: On the world and only let me just stop you there, madam,

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Speaker 5: because I thought that it was a victim specifically to actors,

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Speaker 5: and yet if somebody has delivered something, or has done

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Speaker 5: some carpentry or fixed something or done with gardner whatever.

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Speaker 2: Somebody's come to do something. You know they're being paid

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Speaker 2: as we are paid.

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Speaker 4: They want to be acknowledged and praised for it, just

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Speaker 4: like the mediatest actor that I've ever timoplast.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes more so it's the acknowledgment of your work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: The exo because I think, like you've just said, whether

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Speaker 3: you're a carpenter or a plumber, or an electrician or

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Speaker 3: a teacher, the thing that you have inside I do

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Speaker 3: for it to become exo, to not be that internal

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Speaker 3: experience of this thing, is this thing that I love,

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Speaker 3: but rather to put it on the outside and then

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Speaker 3: to have people go, yes, indeed, I acknowledge that magic

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Speaker 3: is magic. It's fleeting, but it is so wonderful.

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Speaker 5: You know, it's all the climate I've been all the

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Speaker 5: time when people say they give somebody a gift, and

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Speaker 5: I hear the master.

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Speaker 2: Person, But did you like it? Did you really like it?

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Speaker 2: And think this is as needing as the only actor

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Speaker 2: kind of going. Have you seen my show? Did you

261
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Speaker 2: like that performance? For the basic rid.

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Speaker 3: One hundred percent is to feel useful, needed and acknowledged.

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Speaker 3: We just do it in like you know, clothes that

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Speaker 3: get judged and people who are annoyed by what they

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Speaker 3: can perceived to be an extraordinarily glamorous life. I would

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Speaker 3: like to tell you, honestly, Manchester is a great, worthy,

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Speaker 3: amazing northern city, but it is so dark and cold

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Speaker 3: and rainy and pretty doer. I was shooting in a

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Speaker 3: basement on a night shoot the other night, in the

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Speaker 3: freezing cold rain, thinking there is nothing less glamorous in

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Speaker 3: the whole world than pretending in a basement in the

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Speaker 3: middle of the night for money.

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Speaker 2: But it's still better than joming down a coal mine

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Speaker 2: every day.

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Speaker 3: In fact, that's exactly what jimmy Nesbit said. He literally

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Speaker 3: said that he went it beats going down a coal mine,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, correct, So what is the quality

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Speaker 3: you like least about yourself?

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Speaker 2: That doubt?

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Speaker 4: And I have that every day, even at sixty seven

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Speaker 4: three quarters. I try and that's why I yeah, Clampton shots,

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Speaker 4: but at the beginning of every job, in particular, that

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Speaker 4: that just comes in, like the ob truss lands on

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Speaker 4: each shoulder goes you can't do this.

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Speaker 2: Everybody the weed through is doing it. Williantly, and every

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Speaker 2: word that comes out of your mouth is like dropping

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Speaker 2: like a shrinking anvil, and people are going, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: we should have thought, you know, and I could just

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Speaker 2: see the name of the people, but would be my contemporan.

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Speaker 4: So that is the thing that I've come to accept,

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Speaker 4: that it's something that you have to just tell the

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Speaker 4: thing to shut up. But sometimes it does overwhelm you.

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Speaker 4: And right top after the first read through of something,

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Speaker 4: and after the first day of shooting, I anticipate that

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Speaker 4: I'm going to be fired the next day. And if

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Speaker 4: i haven't been, I think win win. And this is

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Speaker 4: not disingenious because I did a TV series that came

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Speaker 4: up earlier this year and after the weed through the

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Speaker 4: media actor, we did the weed through a chalklop in

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Speaker 4: the afternoon, and at four thirty in the afternoon, my

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00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 4: Asian coudinates said, little going back intomorrow because they've a placed.

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Speaker 2: The lead act.

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Speaker 6: Oh my god, fine, so you can be replaced like

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Speaker 6: that is very real. I mean, that's only happened twice

305
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Speaker 6: of my body is doing this, but the fact that

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Speaker 6: it has happened and it does happen, I find feeds

307
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Speaker 6: all that Parania, what's yours?

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Speaker 3: Oh God? I mean, there's a mercurialness that I find

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Speaker 3: terrifying in myself that I know I am a fundamentally

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Speaker 3: good person. I've observed myself for fifty five years. I'm

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Speaker 3: a good mother, and I know the nice things. But

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Speaker 3: there is just this kraken in me that comes out

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Speaker 3: sometimes of intolerance and impatience and not being aware of

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Speaker 3: how powerful I think I am in my reactions and

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Speaker 3: how that can affect other people. Made amends, truly, and

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Speaker 3: if that's the only thing that comes with age, is

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Speaker 3: an immediate and acute awareness. But in terms of like

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Speaker 3: the quality that I like least about myself, it's the

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Speaker 3: one that I need to shine the light on the

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Speaker 3: most is impatience and not realizing that that might hurt

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Speaker 3: somebody because of the way that I might react quickly

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Speaker 3: to something.

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Speaker 2: What this situation? Why you did lose it?

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Speaker 3: I was doing something that required complete attention and someone

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Speaker 3: kept asking me to focus on what they were doing,

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Speaker 3: and I said, I just need five minutes. I just

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Speaker 3: have to I'm really sorry, and I'd started there, and

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Speaker 3: then they kept asking me, and eventually I was like,

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Speaker 3: could you please just give me five minutes and it

330
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Speaker 3: upset the person, It really upset them. But what can

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Speaker 3: you do as like a fractured fragile human except to

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Speaker 3: go this is my shittiest bit and this is the

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Speaker 3: place that requires work. I am not perfect.

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Speaker 2: Now you see yourself as a fractured fragile people, I think.

335
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Speaker 3: We all are. And that's only looking at the fractured fragile.

336
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Speaker 3: But it's then there are the great, wonderful, generous, kind,

337
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:12,399
Speaker 3: loving open parts of everybody that are comforting to others,

338
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Speaker 3: and that all the good things. But I do think

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Speaker 3: that we've sort of been told that we're meant to

340
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Speaker 3: be perfect all the time, and it's impossible. So all

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Speaker 3: you can do is when you see your imperfection happening,

342
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 3: I think, is to acknowledge it, to have an awareness

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Speaker 3: about it, to apologize if you need to apologize, To

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Speaker 3: sit down and have a proper talk with yourself about

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Speaker 3: this thing that you would continue you need and want

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Speaker 3: to change, and file it under in the serenity prayer,

347
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 3: God garant me the serenity to accept the things I

348
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Speaker 3: cannot change and change the things that I can. Did

349
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 3: you do what did you need to absolutely to absolutely apologized?

350
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,639
Speaker 3: Explain what was going on. I'm really sorry that was

351
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 3: on me, that was my bad says what else can

352
00:19:56,320 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 3: you do? Accept a knowledge in the moment that you're

353
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,159
Speaker 3: not at your best and say I'm really really sorry.

354
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 3: I think about when people have done that with me,

355
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 3: and if someone's looked me in the eye and apologized

356
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 3: for an unkindness or anger, it's very hard for me

357
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Speaker 3: not to forgive them because I think I feel like

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Speaker 3: it's the acknowledgment of that behavior that is the most

359
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Speaker 3: important thing.

360
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Speaker 4: Have you worked with an actor or producer who is

361
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Speaker 4: tefron coaching They don't care if they're runed all?

362
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have. And also there seems to be absolutely

363
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Speaker 3: no consequence at all. But my mother used to say

364
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 3: to me, she was like the fact that there is

365
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 3: always consequence for you. Mini if you have a harsh word,

366
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 3: or you're sharp or something and someone tells you that

367
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Speaker 3: they feel bad, is that you have the opportunity and

368
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Speaker 3: the inclination to fix it and to work on it,

369
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,399
Speaker 3: and that that's a gift rather than get constantly getting

370
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Speaker 3: away with it and having people speak badly about you.

371
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 3: But you carry on working, and you you know, do

372
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Speaker 3: you know what I mean when you said about doubt.

373
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Speaker 3: It reminded me of that Peter Strawn piece of writing

374
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 3: in Conclave that Ray Lyin says when he says, I'm

375
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 3: paraphrating if everything was certain, there would be no mystery,

376
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 3: and without mystery there would be no faith. So I'm

377
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 3: supplanting mystery for doubt and the opposite of certainty, and

378
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 3: that it does require a sort of a faith in

379
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Speaker 3: the innate unics of you and that.

380
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Speaker 2: People love you, or do you find that face?

381
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Speaker 3: I honestly think you have to set your coordinance for everything,

382
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,560
Speaker 3: for everything that you want in yourself, that is difficult.

383
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 3: You have to set your coordinance towards that, and your

384
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Speaker 3: faith is that you hope that your ship will sail there.

385
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 2: If it doesn't, then what do you do.

386
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 3: You take a dead reckoning that is a sailing town, Richard.

387
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 3: You take a dead reckoning from where you are when

388
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 3: you don't know where you are and you don't know what.

389
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 3: You take a dead reckoning, which is from the last

390
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 3: known position. You take a reading of where you think

391
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 3: you might be going. But I think it's about intention,

392
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 3: not in so much in sailing. In sailing, you don't

393
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 3: want to just intend to get to where.

394
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Speaker 4: You're going, should there be an analysis of your lid

395
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 4: you put your boat in at ports and something like, right,

396
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,400
Speaker 4: I'm intending to get to the Caribbean.

397
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 3: I'm intending Barbados by lunchtime.

398
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,360
Speaker 2: I think that's a great course of action. Don't think

399
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 2: it along, just go for it.

400
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 3: What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you?

401
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,439
Speaker 4: I've thought, because of my parents for Aircomony's divorce, that

402
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 4: love didn't really exist in the way that the movies

403
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 4: and the books said that they did. And I thought, well,

404
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 4: if I never get mad and never have a child,

405
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,639
Speaker 4: I'll somehow be im mute to all that stuff. And then,

406
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 4: of course, when I was twenty six, I met somebody

407
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 4: who you knew, called Joan Washington and fell in love.

408
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 4: That's the bit where you have no control over it,

409
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 4: And then you know, I think that's more than anything

410
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 4: about being love with somebody, is that you feel and

411
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 4: are truly seen like no other human being sees or

412
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 4: knows you in that way. That to me is the

413
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 4: greatest giftable and worth more than any money that I

414
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 4: might own.

415
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 2: How would you describe what it is for you?

416
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: It is the tolerance of that love is the love

417
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 3: that I experience with my son Henry and with my

418
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 3: boyfriend Addison. It encompasses all of the things that are

419
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,159
Speaker 3: beautiful and difficult, so to be seen as a whole

420
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: human whats and all for better or worse, forever and

421
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 3: ever are men unconditionally.

422
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,120
Speaker 2: And this is the first time you've been in love

423
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 2: like this.

424
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 3: I've been in love before, but there was all an imbalance.

425
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: There was never it was either never reciprocated in the

426
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,439
Speaker 3: way I loved more or they loved more. This is

427
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 3: the love that I realized I dreamed about, of the symbiosis,

428
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,479
Speaker 3: the roaring with laughter at the things that other people

429
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 3: found difficult. He minds the very the very best in

430
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 3: me and Henry, and the creation of our little family

431
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: is the light of my life. Truly, It's really simple.

432
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 3: It's so interesting when you say, at twenty six, you

433
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 3: know you met Joan, who was and is a spectacular spirit.

434
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 3: You knew when Joan had walked into the room. So

435
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 3: the idea that you that you met and that you

436
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 3: fell in love like I feel that incandescence and also

437
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 3: that that lasted and that lasts today. I think your

438
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 3: definition of love is I mean everybody's is different, right,

439
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 3: but it's a really beautiful one.

440
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 4: Have you ever had fan love for somebody that is

441
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 4: lasted beyond being a teenager?

442
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 3: Yes, I've loved Daniel day Lewis since I was twelve

443
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 3: years old and he went to my school. And I've

444
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 3: said this before on the show, and we were like

445
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 3: vaguely were not related by blood, but he is the

446
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 3: cousin of a man my aunt married, so there was

447
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,199
Speaker 3: this tenuous connection. And he was incredibly kind to me.

448
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 3: And when I would stand in a driving rain watching

449
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 3: him play football and old boys matches, and I'd wait

450
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 3: and I'd walk back to the changing rooms with him,

451
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 3: and he'd give me advice on the National Youth Theater

452
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 3: and acting and just to keep reading and to keep

453
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 3: reading plays and to keep being in as many plays

454
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 3: as possible. And I love him with a complete devotion

455
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 3: that was forged when I was twelve.

456
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 2: And have you seen him as an adult?

457
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 3: I have, not frequently at all, just a couple of times.

458
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 3: We had a very long plane ride together, once which

459
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 3: was honestly epic because I kept falling asleep and then

460
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 3: waking up and I was still next to doubt, and

461
00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 3: then I think at the Oscars or the Golden Globes

462
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 3: or something, and I went over that was the first

463
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 3: time I've seen him since I was a kid, and

464
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 3: said to him and his lovely wife, I said, you

465
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 3: you made such a difference. You made it okay that

466
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,679
Speaker 3: I didn't get into the National Youth Theater, and that

467
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 3: you made it okay to sort of keep figuring it

468
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 3: out and you didn't have to follow anyone else's path.

469
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 3: But I mean, it is a particular definition of love.

470
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 2: It's a one side lot.

471
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,239
Speaker 4: I have that with somebody brought Barbara streisand I've got

472
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 4: a two foot statue of her head sculpt But that

473
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 4: is a completely one way.

474
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 3: It's a one side, one side. It means it's perfect.

475
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 4: It is perfect and when you meet and it's not

476
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 4: a disappointment, you know the old never meet your heroes.

477
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 4: You've met yours multiple times. I've met mine multiple times,

478
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 4: and it is only an endorsement of that rather than

479
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 4: it being.

480
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 3: Disappointing.

481
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly.

482
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 4: That is another amazing which you're supposed to path through

483
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 4: by the time adolescence has stopped and real well.

484
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 3: It is funny that I love that there are some

485
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 3: things that they're held in amber. They're held in some

486
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 3: sort of energetic amber inside you, and they're just not

487
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 3: subject to time. They just stay the way that they are.

488
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 3: Like I know that I will love Daniel Da Lewis

489
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 3: until the day that I die in a very particular, devoted,

490
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 3: appreciative way, just as you will love Barbara Streisand what

491
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 3: question would you most like answered?

492
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 4: I want to know what has happened to my vast

493
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 4: collection of Dinky toys that I had when I will

494
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 4: the ply, and to know where they are, That's what

495
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 4: I want to know.

496
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 3: Where were they last?

497
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 4: Well, they were all in Swazilang, which is now called

498
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 4: Esporteini in some hemisphere in Southeast Africa. And I think

499
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 4: that if I could have all my Dinky toys back then,

500
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 4: the meaning of life would be complete for me.

501
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 2: I would have no expectation. And beyond that, So, whether

502
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 2: they've been destroyed in playing war, or whether they are buried.

503
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 4: In the mud pies that I made when I was

504
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 4: a kid, whether they're buried in the garden of the

505
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 4: different houses that I grew up in, I don't know.

506
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 4: But that is the question I would like answered much

507
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 4: more than what I imagine most people ask is is their

508
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 4: life after death?

509
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the number one or isn't because dopes come back. Well,

510
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 3: there's not life like this. It's not the same.

511
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 4: This is it, This is it, this is it. I

512
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 4: agree with you, and I'm very I'm reassured by that.

513
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 4: I love No, this is it.

514
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 2: MM.

515
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 3: Will you live very presently? From the outside looking in

516
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 3: or just from the time that I've spent with you,

517
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 3: you live incredibly presently?

518
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 4: That you have to you know, all the philosopher I've read,

519
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 4: the analysis I've had, or the people that I've met,

520
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 4: or the people that I've admired, I think that to

521
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 4: live in a state of could have, would have, should

522
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 4: have is torture. That if only part of life is

523
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 4: you know, it's like remorse and regret. It doesn't fulfill anything.

524
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,719
Speaker 3: It's a dead end. It's an absolute dead end. Regret.

525
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: There's only moving forward.

526
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 2: I've stop this going border by the minute, and I

527
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 2: can't stop this lava flowing. No, but I would like

528
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 2: my dinky toy collection.

529
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,719
Speaker 3: On your dinky toys, you want to know where your

530
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: dinky toys are? Have anyone out there? I mean, are

531
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 3: there any identifying features that they have your name on them.

532
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 4: No, because dinky toys are these dinky they're tiny matchbox

533
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 4: cars and they are so cute, you know. So this

534
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 4: is completely pristian of thinking you're the Madeline. If I

535
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 4: found this match box dinky toy car or my childhood

536
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 4: would be returned to me.

537
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 3: Do you remember when the last time you saw them? When?

538
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 3: That was?

539
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 4: Well, when up until I was ten years old, up

540
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 4: until nineteen sixty seven, because I was born in black

541
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 4: and white, you see, because all my baby pictures on

542
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 4: black and white. God chrome hadn't quite come in there.

543
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 4: So yeah, that's that's well, all of them back.

544
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 3: Yours is now my number two favorite answer to that question.

545
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,959
Speaker 3: My number one will forever be Jamina Jamil. When I

546
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 3: said what question would you? Mostly answered and like quick

547
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 3: as a snap, she was like, yeah, I really want

548
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 3: to know if any women really enjoy reverse cowboy.

549
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 2: The fuck? It's reverse cowboy.

550
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 3: It's a sexual position, Richard, and I did that cowboy?

551
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 2: Yeah you do with your hands? How how did that work?

552
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,959
Speaker 3: If you're sitting on a man but you're facing backwards,

553
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 3: he's essentially waiting reverse cowgirl shit, reverse cowboy? Fuckar. I

554
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 3: love it when your producer has to put in the

555
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 3: chat it's reverse cowgirls.

556
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 4: The man is sitting on the chair or sitting Oh

557
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 4: my god, this is okay, and leadership it's the other way.

558
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 3: No, he's eyeing on the bed as far as I know,

559
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 3: and she is facing away from him, so he's looking

560
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 3: at her back. That's reverse cowgirl as far as I know.

561
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 3: Maybe I've been doing it wrong all these is well,

562
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 3: I've certainly been giving it the wrong name. I've been

563
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: calling it reverse cowboy.

564
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 2: I've had a very sheltered life that I had no

565
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 2: idea what you were talking about.

566
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: Well, now you do.

567
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 2: I do.

568
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 3: But as you can see, I'm a terrible teacher because

569
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 3: I don't know what it's called.

570
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 4: I'm not entirely Shane going to extract this particular moment

571
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 4: and say they were discussing.

572
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 3: We don't worry. It's me who looks bad, not you.

573
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 3: As per usual, what person place for experience most altered

574
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 3: your life?

575
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 2: London? London.

576
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 4: Everything that's has been life enhancing, life changing, life charging, reverberating.

577
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 4: Everything that has happened to me has happened in the

578
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 4: city in which I live and which.

579
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 2: I've speaking to you from.

580
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 4: Now I genuinely felt like when I emigrated here when

581
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 4: I was twenty five that I felt like Dick Whittington

582
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 4: and the Panther arriving with a rocksack of stuff. I

583
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 4: think I've come here to find my fortune, and everything

584
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 4: that has.

585
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 2: Happened workwise, love wise, family wise is so beyond anything

586
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,240
Speaker 2: that I could have dared anticipate that I feel like

587
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: I've won the pot of gold.

588
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 3: And you attribute that to London.

589
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, because the people are here, the spirit of the

590
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 4: place and the sense of you are, and the culture

591
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 4: and the history and just all of it, and the weather.

592
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 2: All of it contributed in a profound and even arbitrary,

593
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 2: chaotic way and has completely shaped my legs. And I've

594
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: now been here for forty three years and counting, so

595
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 2: I've lived here much longer than I lived in Swaza,

596
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 2: where I grew up. What's yours?

597
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I think having Henry changed my life

598
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 3: so extraordinarily in a way I could never have imagined.

599
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 3: But before that, this one weekend where my lovely then

600
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 3: agent gave me the money to go to New York.

601
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 3: My first film hadn't come out yet, and she said,

602
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 3: I think you should go and meet some casting directors

603
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 3: in New York and I was like, I don't have

604
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 3: any money to get there, and she said, oh no,

605
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 3: I'm going to pay for your ticket and I'll pay

606
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 3: for a hotel just for a couple of nights. And

607
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 3: she sent me off, and in that time I met

608
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 3: a casting director who gave me a job. In the room,

609
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 3: there were two directors next door an actress had fallen out.

610
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 3: It was extraordinary coincidence. And I didn't go home. I

611
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 3: had a little tiny overnight, you know, two day case

612
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 3: with me and I didn't go home for two So

613
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 3: that experience going to New York on what was meant

614
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 3: to be for a weekend and my mother rather sniffy

615
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 3: looking over what I was packing, and when she saw

616
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 3: I wasn't packing any bras, she was like, oh, You're

617
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,879
Speaker 3: never coming back. I wrote about it in my book

618
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 3: because it was so funny. It was such an amazing moment.

619
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 3: I was like, how the fuck? What does she know?

620
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 3: Of course I'm coming back and coming back on Monday.

621
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 2: Oh, how old I was?

622
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 3: Twenty three? Wow, I was a baby. Yeah, I was

623
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 3: a young twenty three as well. Yeah, So that was

624
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 3: so you've never looked, never looked back on an adventure

625
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 3: really like riding a wave like it has been, like

626
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 3: riding away.

627
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 2: You feel in America you are on a much better

628
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: surf wave and tide than you ever were in England.

629
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 3: Well, for a woman in England in the late eighties

630
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 3: early nineties to want to be as free and as

631
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 3: wild as I wanted to be, and as give me

632
00:34:56,040 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 3: life or give me nothing, it was incredibly unseen in London.

633
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:06,320
Speaker 3: And there was something in America that embraced my feeling

634
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 3: of how far could I ride this wave? Like how

635
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 3: big could this wave be? How far could I go?

636
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,879
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness? And I didn't feel like I could

637
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 3: do that in London. I didn't feel like that was supported.

638
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 3: If I were a man, I think it would have

639
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 3: been different.

640
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 2: Do you feel that London by comparison is provincial?

641
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 3: No, not provincial. But there was definitely a sneariness and

642
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 3: a sniffiness to the ambition that I had of the limitlessness.

643
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 3: It was like it wanted to put a cap on it,

644
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 3: and how dare you want more than what you have?

645
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 3: Which you know it's a conservative way of looking at things.

646
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: That is absolutely you've just nailed what I kind of Quintessentially,

647
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 2: British attitude is to ambition and success. If you're a

648
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 2: British actor and only said what are you doing next?

649
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 4: And you said, oh, I'm during Student Spielberg and then

650
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 4: I'm doing one of the curtain Tarantina. Having sort of

651
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 4: like played down where's in La or New York, somebody

652
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 4: says what are you doing next? I'm doing See, there's

653
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 4: a license to be as celebratory as you did without

654
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 4: it being sort poppy syndrome where there's a sort of

655
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 4: mate instinct or desire to catch you down to size.

656
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 2: And go who the hell did think you are?

657
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 3: And I don't I don't disbelieve that that humility is

658
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 3: important and that staying grounded and true. And I definitely

659
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 3: went out to the furthest reaches of the stars with

660
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 3: celebrity and fame and then came crashing back to earth

661
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 3: and that that was a good thing. But I wanted

662
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: that experience of absolute It's the same feeling of taking

663
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 3: off on a wave that you know is far too

664
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,879
Speaker 3: fucking big for you and it's going to smash you,

665
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 3: but in that moment and if you make the drop

666
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 3: and you ride it, even for a few seconds, the

667
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 3: feeling is it is so extraordinary, You're in concert with

668
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 3: something that is so powerful and amazing and unfettered. I

669
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 3: think it was that feeling of that freedom that was

670
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 3: absolutely it was just divine and I made too.

671
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 2: You are fearless, you.

672
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 3: Know what, there's a fearless quality that might also be

673
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 3: WA's the word when it's a bit dangerous, folly, But

674
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 3: in the moment, there is a fearlessness that I embrace

675
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,439
Speaker 3: that I love and I know I'm very good at

676
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 3: being able to support people who are not feeling fearless

677
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 3: and to really help them find that courage to find

678
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 3: I'm good at helping people find courage. I know that

679
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 3: that's a good thing about me.

680
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 4: Like you to funnel some down in my brain on

681
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 4: a daily basis, please feed me that fearlessness.

682
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 2: I'm very grateful for that.

683
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 3: Love. Well, it gets you into all sorts of it's

684
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 3: misinterpreted and its People don't like it. They don't like

685
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 3: seeing people feel is. They're like, why should you be

686
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 3: able to go and do that? How dare you h like?

687
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 3: That was always the feeling, certainly like in England, that

688
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 3: you had to be an awful, ambitious, terrible person in

689
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 3: order to want to go and embrace something unknown. Fully,

690
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,760
Speaker 3: there was always that payment, and I think particularly for women,

691
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 3: like it was really unseemly for women to be ambitious

692
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 3: and wanting. Men are always allowed to be ambitious.

693
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 2: And do you think that's it?

694
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think it's changing. I do, I really do. Yeah.

695
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 3: And I think as you get older, you're far more

696
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 3: able to articulate calmly. And what on earth are you

697
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 3: talking about?

698
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 2: That?

699
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,399
Speaker 3: Having wonderful goals and dreams and ambitions and what you're

700
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 3: setting your course for is big and unbridled and beautiful.

701
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,879
Speaker 3: Why on earth is that a bad thing?

702
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 2: How do you see world? Bait?

703
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 3: Gosh? I mean, I really strive for it to be

704
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 3: physically abundant. I really really hope. My neighbor she swam

705
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 3: every single day for the twenty years that we live

706
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: next door to each other. So from seventy until ninety

707
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 3: that's what I want. I want to be in a

708
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 3: black bathing suit, walking down to the ocean, diving in

709
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:13,239
Speaker 3: at seventy eight, eighty eighty four, lying on my back the.

710
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 2: Next forty till you're ninety five, and then beyond that.

711
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 3: I'd really like to have a physical and mental acuity,

712
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 3: and I would really like to continue to sort of

713
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 3: share stories in some fashion. That's my dream. And for

714
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 3: my son and my partner to be healthy and happy.

715
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 3: That's it. Oh, that's my dream.

716
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,720
Speaker 2: Simple. So you don't need to go to any therapy

717
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 2: or analysis from nowmers, because it's clear maybe you don't

718
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 2: do you.

719
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 3: You know, I have done god loads currently. I felt

720
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 3: very clear about the shit that I've got to work on,

721
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 3: and I will sit down and work on it. I'll

722
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 3: write about it, I will look at it, I will

723
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 3: turn it over, I will meditate, like I feel like

724
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 3: that's maybe what's glorious about being fifty five is that

725
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 3: I've observed the observable stuff about myself and now you

726
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 3: it's really just about working on it or enjoying, enjoying

727
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 3: the fruits of your labor, being available to help others

728
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,920
Speaker 3: like I love I love working with younger actors and

729
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 3: actresses and so gee them along and God, don't worry

730
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 3: about that. And this is so brilliant. And you know

731
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 3: it wasn't like that when I was a kid.

732
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 4: Jenner Bob was really leveling. I've just been on holiday

733
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 4: on Lamu Island off the Kenyan Coast, two teenage girls,

734
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 4: one was eighteen, one was sixteen, and they said to me,

735
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 4: which female actor do you know holding high esteem?

736
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 2: I said, well, this person has had most nominations, and

737
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: I worried you that once on the iron lady paying

738
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 2: it's more bold. But the person that I'd been most

739
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 2: inspired by being around a Washington career all these decades

740
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,319
Speaker 2: is male Street. And they had no idea who she

741
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 2: was christ or didn't know Male Street.

742
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 3: It all goes to dust, It all just goes to dust.

743
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 4: And they then said, well, what has she been in?

744
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 4: And I started scrubbing my brain and well, what would

745
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 4: they feasibly have seen? I said, have you seen Mama

746
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 4: mir No? And I thought, well, yeah, that was It's

747
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 4: sort of straight thing to hear. Yeah, sober and and

748
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 4: you know the only thing, Well, that's just the it's.

749
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,240
Speaker 3: Just the way it is. You just do the work,

750
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 3: like you know how I feel about with no al

751
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 3: and you know that that's it. That's it's in the

752
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 3: same place that Daniel de lewis. It's in my heart.

753
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 3: It sits unfettered perfection. So to have made and you've

754
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 3: made many films that have that effect on people from

755
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 3: the player to take your pick, but that particularly is

756
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: it enough that you know what Meryl Street meant to you?

757
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 3: I know what you mean to me and what you

758
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,879
Speaker 3: mean to my son, By the way, in having watched

759
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 3: with now, perhaps it's enough and that that's the evolution,

760
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: is that we all arrive at a day where the

761
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 3: teenagers go, I have no idea who you're talking about.

762
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 3: That's completely meaningless to me, and it's awful, And it's

763
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,359
Speaker 3: also how it is. That is the.

764
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 2: Steve Martin said to me ten years ago.

765
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 4: We were talking about, you know, you're talking about that

766
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 4: point of retiring and it was pre only murders in

767
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 4: the building, sort of giving him a whole new career

768
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:40,479
Speaker 4: on television. He said, most people's careers are over five

769
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 4: years before they realize.

770
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 2: That they are.

771
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 4: And he said, you have five YouTube clips of your career.

772
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,760
Speaker 4: That's probably as good as I thought.

773
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. Again, it's sort of reassuring.

774
00:42:55,239 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 4: It's so ephemeral a short short amount of time, so

775
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 4: enjoy it while it's around.

776
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 2: That's I suppose my philosophy. This stuff.

777
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,799
Speaker 4: It sort of helps quell the doubt of you know,

778
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 4: I think, well, these teenagers didn't know who Males Street Bars,

779
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 4: I thought, Yeah.

780
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 3: Just all you can do is just keep is just

781
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 3: like keep showing up, keep on trucking, keep on trucking,

782
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: and keep hoping that there's a place for you in

783
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,919
Speaker 3: the workplace that you can still offer.

784
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,240
Speaker 2: At my stage of the world, old fart parts still available.

785
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 3: But you are so in demand. Richard, like, that's list.

786
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 2: It sounds like I'm hard pooning for you to reassure me.

787
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm just sending out the lines there of

788
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 2: the reality of what I think it is.

789
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, because there are so many actors, don't you find

790
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 7: you look at online on Instagram all the people's dresses

791
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 7: and the stuff for the people who went to the Oscars,

792
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 7: and the people were with the Vanity Fair part. So

793
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 7: many people and there are so many people names I've

794
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 7: heard of.

795
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 2: But if I had to be in a lineup, would

796
00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 2: I be able to identify room? Do you know who

797
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: everybody is?

798
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 3: No? I mean I know lots of them, but I

799
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 3: don't know loads. I also put that into the kind

800
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 3: of that there is so much content now, there are

801
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 3: so many more platforms for content. It used to just

802
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 3: be there are films and then there are you know,

803
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 3: network television and now it's just endless feeding the beast

804
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 3: of streaming. And I think that if you love it

805
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 3: and you're lucky enough, as you know, my dad said,

806
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:27,880
Speaker 3: find what you love and get someone to pay you

807
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 3: to do it. So if someone is still paying you

808
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,399
Speaker 3: to do this thing that you love, were quits in.

809
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 2: Now you're up. I agree, and.

810
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 3: That there will always be a wave, just as we

811
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 3: were the wave of young the new upcoming talent. There

812
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 3: will always be this replenishing wave. People will always be

813
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 3: moving into the next season of their life if they're lucky,

814
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 3: And that it's an aberration to think that that flow

815
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 3: should be anything other than that flow. That you know,

816
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,759
Speaker 3: you can't buck against the seasons. You've got to embrace them,

817
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 3: right Indeed, indeed, I mean I'm saying this obviously, like

818
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 3: I don't do it every day. I'm trying to say

819
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 3: the best version of it, like it's really it's gutting.

820
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 3: Gravity is gutting gravity on one's face and bottom is

821
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: just terrific. Like that I could do without that. No

822
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 3: more reverse, no reverse Cowgirl for me because of gravity.

823
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 3: What would be your last meal?

824
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 4: A dozen oysters and two dozen giant Indian ocean prawns

825
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 4: that about ten inches long.

826
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,439
Speaker 3: Ah, and that you shell yourself. This is that part

827
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 3: of the whole.

828
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 8: Thing, yahnu oh yeah, darling butter on top, and then

829
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 8: an entire Christmas pudding with light chi sorbe that only

830
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 8: I would get to eat and most people don't like.

831
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,240
Speaker 2: So I've got twenty Chris well, where of a dining breed?

832
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:04,480
Speaker 4: You know?

833
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 3: I know we are with lightweight, with light che yum.

834
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 3: That is very very delicious. I know that you would

835
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,479
Speaker 3: recently you were in the ocean, did you eat some.

836
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 2: Drank pron and I had some for lunch today? What

837
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 2: was yours mine?

838
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 3: It's the roast chicken that my mother taught me to

839
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 3: make with the most delicious gravy, roast potatoes, some giant

840
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 3: pile of greens, roast parsnips, carrots, a Yorkshire pudding, amazingly

841
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 3: succulent chicken, and then apple and BlackBerry crumble with cream. Yeah,

842
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 3: I'm it's just ITT's pristian. It's the most delicious food.

843
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 3: When I was growing up, that was the most food

844
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 3: that we had was on a Sunday when one would

845
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 3: cook that. Like she was a really good cook, but

846
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 3: she was a sparse cook. She never cooked quite enough,

847
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 3: but on Sunday there was plenty, and I was quite

848
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 3: greedy and always hungry.

849
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:56,919
Speaker 2: And what is the weirdest final meal that you've had

850
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:57,720
Speaker 2: on any guest?

851
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 3: Offering up David, who is this extraordinary neuroscientist, like truly

852
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 3: one of the most fascinating like scientist people, a scientific

853
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 3: person I've talked to. He wanted a protein shape. He

854
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 3: wanted to still be feeding his brain protein and I

855
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 3: was like, but you're about to die well, And it

856
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 3: was just what I loved is that he was just

857
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 3: it was almost like the absolute denial that this was

858
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,799
Speaker 3: his last meal. That was like, I'm still want to

859
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 3: be feeding protein to my brain, which, by the way,

860
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,800
Speaker 3: for a neuroscientist, that's really on brand, Like that's really cool,

861
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 3: but like super super, super great and weird. I love

862
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 3: that answer, though we.

863
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,240
Speaker 2: Couldn't be having a last meal with David Eagleman.

864
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 3: Then my last question is in your life, can you

865
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 3: tell me about something that has grown out of a

866
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 3: personal disaster?

867
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 4: Y Ah, When my father died of lung cancer at

868
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:01,720
Speaker 4: the age of fifty two, when I'm twenty four, I

869
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:05,919
Speaker 4: thought that if I lived till fifty three, I would

870
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,839
Speaker 4: have kind of broken that curse or whatever it is

871
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 4: you call it. That's a benchmark of his life, so

872
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,760
Speaker 4: that every year that I've lived since then has felt

873
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 4: like a bonus. But more than anything, I because I

874
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 4: was acutely aware of how young that was to die,

875
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 4: and as I got closer to fifty two myself.

876
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: I thought, wow, it really is just feel young. And

877
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 2: I think more than anything, it is galvanized my thinking

878
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 2: and desire to try and get everything I can out

879
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 2: of every day.

880
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 9: Of my life that I have because he's ended so

881
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 9: halfway through you know what he might have lived done

882
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,800
Speaker 9: to so that that has had a profound ongoing effect

883
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 9: on that.

884
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 2: So whether you call that the.

885
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 4: Starst or not, I don't know, but it's absolutely galvilized

886
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 4: me when they know I'm very impatient and I just

887
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 4: want everything, and you know, I just feel like I'm

888
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 4: running at life going I'll gobble it up. So that

889
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 4: is what I think my father's death had that effect

890
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 4: on me.

891
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 3: That's amazing, that's really that's really amazing.

892
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 2: And what's yours.

893
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 3: I think that there was a big change when I

894
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 3: had Henry and I was a single mother, and I

895
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 3: really realized that that sort of going off around the

896
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 3: world making independent films was not something that I wanted

897
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 3: to do with a tiny baby on my own, and

898
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 3: that I couldn't necessarily make enough money doing that because

899
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 3: it wasn't particularly well paid at all, and I knew

900
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 3: I didn't want to be scrabbling to piece his childhood together.

901
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 3: So I made this very conscious turn into network television,

902
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 3: which I'm eternally grateful for, but it was it was

903
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 3: a sobering moment to move from the wildness of filmmaking

904
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 3: and this kind of immediacy into very prosaic and formulaic

905
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:08,439
Speaker 3: creativity that sometimes didn't feel like creativity, and I knew

906
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 3: the reason that I'd done it, and there was a

907
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 3: heartbreak in it that was really difficult. But what came

908
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 3: out of that was this childhood. This eight years that

909
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:21,360
Speaker 3: I was fortunate enough to be on two television shows,

910
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 3: paid handsomely, working with lovely people, and it wasn't going

911
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 3: to change the world kind of necessarily what we did,

912
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 3: but there was a steadiness and a kindness and a

913
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 3: wonder in watching Henry have this childhood of having tea

914
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 3: at home and oftentimes I could be there and that

915
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,399
Speaker 3: I could put him to bed, and that I wasn't

916
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 3: worried about paying the mortgage, and I knew he was

917
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 3: going to be okay, and I could put money in

918
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:54,240
Speaker 3: a college fund for him, and all of these things

919
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 3: and him turning out to just be this incredible person,

920
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:05,839
Speaker 3: calm and funny, and that like I thought that, I'd well,

921
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 3: I'm giving up this whole thing, this dream that I've

922
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 3: always had, and I'm embracing this other kind of a life.

923
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 3: And I thought it was going to be terrible, and

924
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 3: all that grew out of it was wonderful. Win win, yeah, absolutely, win, win,

925
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 3: win win. Darning Richard, you provoke and like an interrogation

926
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 3: of life always whenever I'm with you, and I know

927
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 3: that you do that with everybody else. That is so

928
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 3: sincerely wonderful and amazing. And I know what profound sorrow

929
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 3: you have experienced and how you have turned that into

930
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,920
Speaker 3: something that is a gift for everybody else will forever

931
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 3: be in total awe of you, because that's what that's

932
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 3: what you do. Truly amazing, amazing and wonderful. And I

933
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 3: can't thank you enough.

934
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me on your Zoo mini driver, brilliant,

935
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 2: Thank you.

936
00:51:55,560 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 3: Thank you many Questions is hosted andritten by Me Mini Driver,

937
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 3: Executive produced by Me and Aaron Kaufman, with production support

938
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,959
Speaker 3: from Jennifer Bassett, Zoey Denkler and Ali Perry. The theme

939
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:15,760
Speaker 3: music is also by Me and additional music by Aaron Kaufman.

940
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 3: Special thanks to Jim Nikolay Addison, O'Day, Henry Driver, Lisa Castella,

941
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:26,760
Speaker 3: Anick Oppenheim, a, Nick Mueller and Annette Wolfe, a WKPR,

942
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 3: Will Pearson, Nicki Etoor, Morgan Levoy and mangesh At Tigadore