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Speaker 1: Hey, this is jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My best friend uninvited me from her wedding after I

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Speaker 2: refuse to pay. What if I'm broke girl?

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Speaker 3: Sorry?

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Speaker 2: I twenty five female am part of a bridal party

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Speaker 2: for a close friend whose wedding is coming up soon.

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Speaker 2: A few months ago, the maid of honor planned a

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Speaker 2: bachelorette party in another country. From the very beginning, I

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Speaker 2: let them know I wouldn't be able to attend due

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Speaker 2: to financial reasons. International travel and the associated costs just

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Speaker 2: aren't in my budget right now, everyone was understanding at

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Speaker 2: the time, all show, I thought, By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from Throwaway three nine, five oh one four seven,

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Speaker 2: And if you want to smit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it. I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 2: I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy,

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Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 2: do in the comments. And oh Pie sis. The bachelorette

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Speaker 2: trip happened recently, and days after the group got back

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Speaker 2: to the States, the Native Honors sent a message in

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Speaker 2: the group chat, specifically one that included only the bridal

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Speaker 2: party members who did not attend the trip, asking each

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Speaker 2: of us to send three hundred dollars so the bride

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have to pay her share of the trip. I

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Speaker 2: never agreed to contribute financially to something I wasn't attending,

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Speaker 2: and at no point before or during the planning did

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Speaker 2: anyone say anything about splitting the bride's costs among people

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Speaker 2: who weren't going. If they had, I would have made

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Speaker 2: it clear that I couldn't afford that either. Now I'm

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Speaker 2: feeling really weird about the whole thing. On one hand,

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Speaker 2: I get that people want to treat the bride, and

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Speaker 2: if I'd been a part of the trip, I might

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Speaker 2: have chipped in with the others to cover some of

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Speaker 2: her expenses. But to ask for that money after the

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Speaker 2: fact from people who didn't even go feels unfair and

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Speaker 2: borderline manipulative. I haven't responded to the message yet, and

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Speaker 2: I don't want to cause drama, but I also feel

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Speaker 2: like I shouldn't have to pay for something I didn't attend,

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Speaker 2: especially when I was upfront from the beginning. So am

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Speaker 2: I the a hole for thinking it's unfair to ask

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Speaker 2: me to pay three hundred dollar trip I didn't go

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Speaker 2: on update three months later, I texted the bride telling

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Speaker 2: her that due to financial issues, I would no longer

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Speaker 2: be able to be a bridesmaid, but I wish her

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Speaker 2: the best and would still love to be there for

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Speaker 2: her and attend as a guest. I know, I know

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Speaker 2: I should have at least called, but I also struggle

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Speaker 2: with confrontation and social anxiety, so I prefer to do

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Speaker 2: things over text so I have time to really think

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Speaker 2: about what I'm going to say. But crap really hit

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Speaker 2: the fan. She told me she's really hurt by my

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Speaker 2: decision and she felt that she deserved more than a

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Speaker 2: text message. Valid I agree with that, sure, yeah, and

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Speaker 2: that she doesn't know where we go from here. Hindside

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Speaker 2: is twenty twenty, So I asked if I could call

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Speaker 2: her after I got out of work, to which she

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Speaker 2: never responded. I tried reaching out a few more times,

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Speaker 2: and she told me she didn't have time for this drama,

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Speaker 2: which I took as she needed some space, So I

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Speaker 2: decided to respect that. Her bridal shower came and went,

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Speaker 2: and I did not attend because we haven't had any

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Speaker 2: contact with each other since I dropped out of the

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Speaker 2: bridal party. But the drama doesn't end there. I think

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Speaker 2: that you really should have called, which you seem to know,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, yeah, you really should have done that.

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Speaker 3: It is weird though, that she's just like, Oh, I

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Speaker 3: just don't have time for this drama. But it doesn't

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Speaker 3: really seem like a lot of drama.

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Speaker 2: No, it's just like I can't be in your bridal party.

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Speaker 3: It's just like bummer conversation. It's yeah, like, oh like

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Speaker 3: I can't do this because of this and this and this.

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Speaker 3: It's like it feels like it's only drama if you

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Speaker 3: make it drama. And Op didn't know.

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Speaker 2: Also, if I were at the bride and I really

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Speaker 2: wanted OP to be in it, I'd be like, hey, like,

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Speaker 2: let's talk about this. When can you not afford Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because you're not going on the trip. Was there something else?

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Speaker 2: Is it the dress costs? And then OP would be like, well, no,

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Speaker 2: they're asking three hundred dollars right, Yeah, I feel like

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Speaker 2: and then I should have called but I.

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Speaker 3: Find out that it's a big old miscommunication because the

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Speaker 3: bridesmaid wanted, you know, to go have a big trip

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Speaker 3: in theirs and kickos. Yeah, you see.

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Speaker 2: I like to make jokes that the bride is friends

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Speaker 2: with everyone and their mom, because she truly has a

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Speaker 2: lot of friends. And I'm not even being dramatic. Basically,

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Speaker 2: everyone I know has been invited to this wedding, include

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Speaker 2: my own mom, and my sisters, and my brother and

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Speaker 2: my cousins, but not me. I never got an invitation.

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Speaker 2: That is crazy. What's going on that? That is pretty crazy?

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Speaker 3: That is very weird because if she's friends with everyone, yeah,

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Speaker 3: good friends of you, your whole family is going.

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Speaker 2: That's really strange. Which for you to be like, I

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Speaker 2: can't afford to be your bride's maid.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And then she's straight up like, I don't have

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Speaker 3: time for this drama. I'm just not gonna invite you.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna talk to you about it.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty insane. Think. Ope, you need to like push

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Speaker 2: past your you know, anxiety, and if this is your friend,

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Speaker 2: then you gotta push past that and call her totally.

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Speaker 2: And how can I even apologize now when I'm being

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Speaker 2: ghosted Also, I'm not even sure if I want to

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Speaker 2: reach out anymore because I don't feel like I need

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Speaker 2: to beg for someone's friendship. It does make me sad

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Speaker 2: that she threw away a twenty year friendship over this, though,

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Speaker 2: and there are some relevant comments. Comment one says, based

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Speaker 2: on the post you linked, I don't see how that

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Speaker 2: was the reason to drop out of the wedding party.

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Speaker 2: I would have felt blindsided as the bride, especially if

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Speaker 2: I didn't know anyone asked you to pay for anything.

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Speaker 1: I do agree with that.

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Speaker 2: OHP says Okay, I definitely posted a very water down

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Speaker 2: version of the story, but basically I dropped out after

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Speaker 2: the maid of honor told us that we're renting a

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Speaker 2: huge house for the shower and we would have to

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Speaker 2: set up for three days, and that we needed to

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Speaker 2: split everything equally to make sure it all works for

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Speaker 2: the bride. That text came less than twenty four hours

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Speaker 2: after I said I was able to pitch in one

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Speaker 2: hundred dollars for the bachelorette and not three hundred, so

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Speaker 2: it kind of felt passive aggressive to me. The house

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Speaker 2: in Balloons had to set up a two thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: tab already and didn't include any drinks, food decor or

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Speaker 2: party favors. So I was really nervous about the budget,

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Speaker 2: and that's when I texted her. I did tell her

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Speaker 2: I wasn't sure if she was aware that we were

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Speaker 2: being asked to pay for everything, and I just couldn't

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Speaker 2: swing it financially, and that's why I was pulling out.

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Speaker 2: So oh P did clarify to the bride, okay, that's good,

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Speaker 2: and then was uninvited completely from the wedding, which is wild.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: I also sent the text back in July and the

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Speaker 2: wedding is in November. I'm also hurt that one of

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Speaker 2: the other bride'smaids told me she texted the bride and

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Speaker 2: pulled out for financial reasons and she didn't send any

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Speaker 2: money for the bachelorette and she's still invited, and the

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Speaker 2: bride was extremely kind to her and said she understood.

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Speaker 3: I think a game is afoot. I believe that there's

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Speaker 3: some sort of sabotage happening over here.

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Speaker 2: She even said that the other girl could just be

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Speaker 2: there for her day of and not pay anything, and

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Speaker 2: that it was offensive because I only threw in one

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Speaker 2: hundred dollars, which is basically nothing.

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Speaker 3: What the heck? What? Okay?

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Speaker 2: Okay, weird?

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Speaker 3: My original theory, yeah, is that like, okay, bridesmaid over here,

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Speaker 3: bachelorette or made of honor is like boo boo, you're poor,

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Speaker 3: and then is like telling the bride a something totally

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Speaker 3: untrue of what she's doing or saying or whatever, and

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Speaker 3: then just trying to make her look bad. But if

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Speaker 3: the bride is responding that way, whyeah? Like I feel

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Speaker 3: like maybe something's just up with the bride.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, man, this is Comment two says, how

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Speaker 2: did this bride's may go about telling the bride she

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Speaker 2: couldn't do it based on information you've given? That has

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Speaker 2: to be the reason the bride is still inviting her

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Speaker 2: and not you. Oh Pie says, I'm not exactly sure

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Speaker 2: what the tech said, but I know she told her

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Speaker 2: through a text, and then the bride called her and

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Speaker 2: that's when she said it was offensive that I only

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Speaker 2: gave her one hundred dollars towards the bachelorette trip. So

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Speaker 2: she told this other bridesmaid when she was saying I

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Speaker 2: can't do it because financial reasons, yeah, she was like, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: don't even worry about paying anything. Oh my god. Oh

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Speaker 2: Pee tried to give me one hundred dollars though, so rude,

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Speaker 2: But you don't pay anything. Don't even worry about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah what?

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm so glad that you didn't offer any money.

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Speaker 3: Yeah right.

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Speaker 2: The bride did tell me a few months ago that

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Speaker 2: she only asked her to be a bridesmaid because they

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Speaker 2: used to be really close, but they haven't really been

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Speaker 2: in touch lately, so I'm really not sure what is happening.

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Speaker 2: And another person asks when did the other bridesmaid drop out?

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Speaker 2: Opie says it was between two to four weeks after

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Speaker 2: I pulled out, and also over a text message. I

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Speaker 2: just don't know exactly what was said. Comment three says,

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Speaker 2: your family is still going when she treats you like this? Why?

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Speaker 3: Oh? P says My.

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Speaker 2: Mom says I shouldn't be friends with her if she's

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Speaker 2: just going to ghost me and just not send an

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Speaker 2: invitation after I tried or reaching out a few times,

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Speaker 2: So she isn't going, prop to your mom, Come mom,

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Speaker 2: Mom said, I'm not going if you're not going, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: this is your friend, not mine. My sisters have a

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Speaker 2: relationship with the bride. They met through me, but they'll

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Speaker 2: hang out with her on her own, so I feel

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Speaker 2: like their relationship with her is separate from ours. And

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Speaker 2: they say that they are thinking about it, but to

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Speaker 2: be honest, I think they'll still go because they've had

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Speaker 2: dinners with her since then. My cousin also has a

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Speaker 2: relationship with the bride but feels I'm being treated unfairly,

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Speaker 2: so she also isn't going. The bride is telling the

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Speaker 2: bridesmaids that if it was so easy for me to

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Speaker 2: drop out of being her bridesmaid, then it was easy

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Speaker 2: to drop me as a friend. But it really wasn't.

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Speaker 3: There must have been something else going on, Like if

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Speaker 3: none of my ideas right now are like justified, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I know it's a I'm thinking like maybe if Opie

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Speaker 3: is closer to the bride than that other broke girl, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and maybe there's more of an expectation of her.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's what I was thinking. Yeah, maybe because they

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Speaker 2: were closer, it hurt more. Yeah, and even then particularly

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Speaker 2: you should still understand for sure. Or I wonder like

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Speaker 2: if there have been other problems like this, like if

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Speaker 2: she is already been feeling like Opie has been letting

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Speaker 2: her down in other ways somehow, and just hasn't voiced it,

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Speaker 2: which yeah, still she's in the wrong for not voice

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Speaker 2: choicing it. Literally yeah, so I don't know, and inviting

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Speaker 2: Opie's entire family.

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Speaker 3: Yeah right, Like there's gotta be something else going on.

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Speaker 2: I stress so much about sending the text in the

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Speaker 2: first place, and once I realized my mistake, I tried

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Speaker 2: to fix it. Another one of the comments said that

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Speaker 2: she expected more from me because we're close compared to

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Speaker 2: the other ex bridesmaid. But on the flip side, don't

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Speaker 2: I deserve to be heard out and not just ghosted

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Speaker 2: If we were so close, I can't think of another

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Speaker 2: time in the past twenty years twenty years, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: that we've had any thing bad happened between us. So

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Speaker 2: that's why I feel like the entire friendship is being

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Speaker 2: thrown away over this. But also now, when I step

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Speaker 2: back and look at everything I know about her, I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure I should be surprised that she dropped me,

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Speaker 2: because she once got into an argument with her own

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Speaker 2: sister and didn't talk to her for four years, and

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Speaker 2: she missed her sister's wedding and the first three years

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Speaker 2: of her niece's life. Wow, to be fair though I'm

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Speaker 2: not one hundred percent sure what it was about, but

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Speaker 2: I know they were arguing about the family finances. All

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Speaker 2: the kids helped pay for their parents' home. This girl

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Speaker 2: seems to get in a lot of arguments about finances.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm just like literally making a crazy assumption here,

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Speaker 2: But it feels like maybe sister with the kid was like,

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Speaker 2: I can't afford to pay all this money for mom

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Speaker 2: and dad's home. Yeah, and then she was like, well

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Speaker 2: that's crazy, yeah, like you should pay this exorbitant round.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I got a kid, I can't pay that much. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's my assumption to what happened. I could see that happening, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: for sure. Common Force says, does the bride actually know

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Speaker 2: what the problem was, because it seems like the financial

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Speaker 2: pressure was coming from the maid of honor, so the

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Speaker 2: bride might have no idea what happened behind the scenes.

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Speaker 2: Opie says, I don't know if she knew before I

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Speaker 2: dropped out, but in the text, I explained to her

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Speaker 2: all of the things we were being told to pay for,

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Speaker 2: and now there was no conversation about the budget. The

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Speaker 2: maid of honor would just say, hey, this is what

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Speaker 2: we're doing and it costs X amount, and I just

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Speaker 2: felt like that was unfair Common five says Opie. I

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Speaker 2: genuinely get financial constraints, but you dropped out via text

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Speaker 2: and got upset that the bride wouldn't hear you out,

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Speaker 2: and now are mad that you're not invited to the wedding.

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Speaker 2: You hurt your friend and she doesn't want to consider

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Speaker 2: you a friend anymore. That was a consequence of your decision.

260
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Speaker 2: Opie says, it just really hurts my feelings that two

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Speaker 2: weeks after I did it, another bridesmaid sent her a

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Speaker 2: text pulling out for financial reasons, and the bride called

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Speaker 2: her to ask her if she would be able to

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Speaker 2: show up and wear the dress and not pay anything.

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Speaker 2: Why am I getting treated differently. The other girl also

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Speaker 2: didn't send anything, but I sent one hundred dollars for

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Speaker 2: the bachelorette, and the bride told her that I was

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Speaker 2: disrespectful for not paying the full three hundred and I

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Speaker 2: should have just not even bothered. Ope on making a

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Speaker 2: mistake when sending a response via text to the bride,

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Speaker 2: Oh Pi, I understood I made a mistake when I

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Speaker 2: saw how she responded to my text. That's why I

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Speaker 2: tried to call her afterwards. I was thinking I heard

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Speaker 2: her feelings, so she needed space, which I gave. But

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Speaker 2: I feel the way she escalated it by not sending

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Speaker 2: me an invitation is really mean when my entire family

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Speaker 2: is invited. Is it wrong to think that since we

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Speaker 2: were so close that I was even asked to be

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Speaker 2: a bridesmaid, that I also deserved a chance to apologize?

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Speaker 2: Or was me sending the text so bad I deserve

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Speaker 2: to be cut off and for her to go full

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Speaker 2: no contact. We both grew up with poor families and

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Speaker 2: had to hustle our entire lives, so she's always been

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Speaker 2: very conscious about finances. But suddenly it's go big or

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Speaker 2: go home, and I just can't. I guess I'll just

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Speaker 2: go home. Opie on the Friendship with a Bride, Opie says,

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Speaker 2: that's how I feel like. If we were so close

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Speaker 2: for me to even be a bridesmaid, wouldn't you at

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Speaker 2: least hear me out and give me a chance to apologize.

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Speaker 2: There is a little bit left to this story. Any

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Speaker 2: final thoughts. I think we know we need to do here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're upset about how she's responding. She might have

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Speaker 3: responded this way because she's upset about how you texted.

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Speaker 3: You gotta make your friendship move now. And if you

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Speaker 3: want there to be open communication and all that kind

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Speaker 3: of stuff, you gotta just make it happen. I agree. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: even if it's upsetting that the other person isn't doing that,

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Speaker 3: that doesn't matter. You have to ignore that.

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Speaker 2: If you expected to get another chance because of your

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Speaker 2: long friendship, then even though she's acting like an ale

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Speaker 2: and has totally burned you in this scenario, I agree.

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Speaker 2: I think that if you want there to be communication,

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Speaker 2: push for that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta set the tone.

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Speaker 2: In your own friendship, Yeah, for sure, But there is

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Speaker 2: a little bit left. We also have the same group

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Speaker 2: of friends and she even hangs out with my family.

308
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Speaker 2: So I'm not sure how to navigate this going forward

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Speaker 2: because I'm definitely going to run into her at some point. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: I think I would be less hurt if she totally

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Speaker 2: cussed me out or something or told me I was

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Speaker 2: uninvited instead of being ghosted and just not sent an invitation.

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Speaker 2: At least I'd have some sort of closure, truly. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: go get that closure, girl. Yeah, you don't have to

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Speaker 2: be friends with her after the fact if it really

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Speaker 2: just doesn't go the way that you want, but like

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Speaker 2: try and have that conversation.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: My best friend confess that he's in love with me

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Speaker 3: after we accidentally made out.

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Speaker 2: I don't think any accidents have been happening. James and

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Speaker 2: I have been friends since second grade. We've shared practically

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Speaker 2: everything with each other, been there for each other, and

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Speaker 2: when no one else was, we tell each other I

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Speaker 2: love you a pretty often.

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Speaker 3: He's my family.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a throwaway Asasha, and

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash Okay storytime subbured.

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Speaker 2: It and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're

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Speaker 2: here to give you good advice.

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Speaker 3: Goofily. But we don't have all the answers. We just

335
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Speaker 3: know what we would do in the situation. So let

336
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,400
Speaker 3: us know what you would do in the comments. So

337
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,920
Speaker 3: Op says, I don't drink much ever, and James had

338
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,880
Speaker 3: begged me to come with him to his friend's apartment

339
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Speaker 3: for drinks and games. I decided to let loose mad

340
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Speaker 3: move on my part and I drank too much. He

341
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,560
Speaker 3: had a bit to drink as well, but not nearly

342
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Speaker 3: as much. He saw I was a warm and loopy,

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Speaker 3: so he took me out for some fresh air. Honestly,

344
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 3: this bit is pretty fuzzy. I just remember laughing and

345
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Speaker 3: going to kiss his cheek like I would my mother,

346
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Speaker 3: but it didn't end that way. I missed and kind

347
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,920
Speaker 3: of hit the corner of his mouth, and he took

348
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,240
Speaker 3: that as an invitation to really kiss me, and we

349
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,080
Speaker 3: kind of made out. Then he told me that he

350
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Speaker 3: loved me, and I told him I loved him too,

351
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,880
Speaker 3: because that's what we always say. But he responded with

352
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,040
Speaker 3: something like no, like I'm in love with you. I

353
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 3: puked in a bush and he took me home. I'm

354
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,000
Speaker 3: still quite embarrassed about it. It has been a couple

355
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,040
Speaker 3: days and neither of us have brought it up. I'm

356
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,920
Speaker 3: kind of confused about my feelings. I haven't been in

357
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Speaker 3: love before, but I do love him, and I've always

358
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Speaker 3: considered him my person. Am I being obduse? How could

359
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 3: I bring the topic up with him? Because I do

360
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,960
Speaker 3: want to discuss it once I figure myself out. Coming

361
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,080
Speaker 3: Number one says, close your eyes and imagine him with

362
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Speaker 3: another woman and think about how you would feel if

363
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,280
Speaker 3: he smiled at another woman just like he does with

364
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,120
Speaker 3: you in the way he looks at you. Many times

365
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,760
Speaker 3: they don't realize the feelings until it's too late, many

366
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 3: times because you take it for granted, or because you

367
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,840
Speaker 3: see such a predictable person, and many people let that

368
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Speaker 3: person go because another person came along and they see

369
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 3: the novelty, they see something new. But in the end

370
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,720
Speaker 3: you realize that the other person didn't love you, so

371
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 3: you regret it, and many times it's too late. And

372
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,120
Speaker 3: Opie responds, well, we have grown up together and have

373
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Speaker 3: seen each other through different phases of life. We have

374
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,440
Speaker 3: each dated other people. Whenever he has had a girlfriend,

375
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,720
Speaker 3: I have never felt jealous or unhappy. He seemed happy,

376
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 3: which made me happy, and I always got along with

377
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,760
Speaker 3: his girlfriend. That being said, we've always had our special

378
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,920
Speaker 3: inside jokes and secret handshakes. I never felt pushed aside,

379
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 3: So maybe that's why I was so okay. And Opie

380
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,760
Speaker 3: comments on concerns towards their families. I'm not worried about

381
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,040
Speaker 3: my love life. I'm just worried about forever altering our relationship.

382
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,040
Speaker 3: It affects people that we love too. Our families, our friends,

383
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,880
Speaker 3: our mothers get brunched together every other week. Maybe I'm

384
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 3: just putting too much pressure on this, but it really

385
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,760
Speaker 3: feels like a big deal. Seriously, thank you for this advice,

386
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 3: though I do see now that that something will inevitably change.

387
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 3: Kind of stupid to try and hold off the inevitable.

388
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,280
Speaker 3: And yeah, I think that things have already changed from him,

389
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,280
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, saying that, like, I think it's whatever you

390
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,399
Speaker 3: do now, it's not really going to change it that

391
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 3: much more.

392
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,439
Speaker 2: No, yeah, your friendship has changed.

393
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, unless you go up to him and you're like, hey,

394
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,120
Speaker 3: I'm sober and then you do throw up on him,

395
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 3: then it's like, yeah, okay, Yeah, that would probably change

396
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 3: some things for sure.

397
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 2: That would probably shake things up a little bit.

398
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 3: I'd say so. And Opie comments about the brewing romance

399
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 3: in their relationship, I'm slowly realizing that I'm at the

400
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 3: point of no return. This perspective is genuinely helpful. Makes

401
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 3: me feel a little less dreaded. I just want to

402
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,120
Speaker 3: do the right thing. He isn't the kind of guy

403
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 3: to blow up at me if it doesn't go well.

404
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 3: I know we care about each other enough to want

405
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,560
Speaker 3: to work it out He's a thoughtful man. I think

406
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 3: I had a slight meltdown over it, but I have

407
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 3: even doubt a little bit ha ha. Opie also comments

408
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 3: on the friends previous relationships. Since second grade, he has

409
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,800
Speaker 3: had two girlfriends, and I have had one boyfriend since

410
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 3: second grade. Second grade boyfriend, second grade boyfriend.

411
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 2: Those are fake boyfriends. Those are what those are fake boyfriends.

412
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,880
Speaker 3: I thought, you know, when you said second grade boyfriends,

413
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 3: I thought you said second boyfriend and then probably yeah, yeah,

414
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 3: but we do have an update. Do we have any

415
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 3: final thoughts before we move on?

416
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,360
Speaker 2: We're about a half away through just kind of figuring

417
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 2: it out, and yeah, okay.

418
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 3: I think it was really funny before the comments, he

419
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 3: was like, I mean, I've never been in love, but

420
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:41,320
Speaker 3: like I also have imagined marrying him, so like I

421
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 3: always thought I was gonna marry him, but like that

422
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 3: doesn't mean.

423
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:44,679
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean anything.

424
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:49,200
Speaker 3: She didn't say Mary girls, but still you get me, girl,

425
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 3: you get me. You're the same update. So we talked,

426
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 3: and I was honest, I have been way overthinking this

427
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 3: and really just confusing myself. More and more I came

428
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,240
Speaker 3: to terms with the fact that I was truly very

429
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 3: into the kiss and enjoyed the thought of kissing him

430
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 3: even when I was sober. So I told him back

431
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 3: and then he throws up. But I also loved But

432
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 3: I also told him how nervous I have been about

433
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 3: our relationship because I have thought of him as someone

434
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 3: who will be in my life forever since sixth grade,

435
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 3: and I have never been lucky in love. I thought

436
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 3: of as parting ways because our relationship goes south makes

437
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 3: me feel legitimately ill, and I told him that too.

438
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 3: I started off with the talking because he knew it

439
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 3: was coming, and I could tell that he was incredibly nervous,

440
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 3: but he seemed to loosen up as I continued. He

441
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 3: actually smiled a little. After I finished my speech, he said,

442
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 3: can I say something cheesy but true? And I naturally

443
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 3: responded with yeah. He told me that he has loved

444
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 3: me since middle school and that he never thought it

445
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 3: would get this far.

446
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 2: Oh, this is so cute. Someone make a movie. Someone

447
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 2: call director. Write it down, write it down and down

448
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 2: right down.

449
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 3: I am still utterly shocked by this. I seriously, we

450
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 3: have never known. I was getting all flustered and shy

451
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 3: because of a man that I've literally shared everything with.

452
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 3: Which is bonkers. When I am with him, I am

453
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 3: the most unapologetic version of myself, but he had me blushing.

454
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 3: That pretty much solidified it for me. The only thing

455
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 3: left to discuss was how to move forward, and he

456
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 3: took the initiative and asked what it was that I

457
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 3: wanted to do about this. I had been thinking about

458
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 3: this for a day or so since unraveling how I

459
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,919
Speaker 3: felt about him. I suggested that we go on a

460
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,120
Speaker 3: real date, not just to hang out, if you would

461
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 3: be okay with that. I understand that at this point

462
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 3: he is much deeper to this than I am, so

463
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to do anything to hurt him, but

464
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 3: committing super hard would be a lie on my end,

465
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 3: and this feels necessary to explore.

466
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 2: I think it's just being very upfront about where you are.

467
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 2: I'm saying, hey, I've never thought about this, yeap, and

468
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 2: this is completely new to me.

469
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that is a good point. I

470
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 3: didn't even like think about that about like she's still

471
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,479
Speaker 3: like she's pretty sure about her feelings, but it's still new,

472
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 3: so like they probably just need to settle.

473
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 1: A little bit.

474
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't even think about like full on boyfriend

475
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 3: girlfriend would just be like committing too fast.

476
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 2: Yeah that makes sense. No, absolutely, because you're like, is

477
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 2: this just something you know a person I like to

478
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 2: kiss and I don't actually have long term romantic feelings

479
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 2: for right, because there is a difference.

480
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,360
Speaker 3: Totally. Yeah, honestly, it is a possibility that he could

481
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 3: find out that I was better in his head or something. Anyway,

482
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 3: he agreed and we are giving it a shot. I

483
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,680
Speaker 3: am very happy and he seems to be as well.

484
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 3: He was absolutely grinning, and once I offered up the

485
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 3: date idea, he was tickled that I asked him out.

486
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 3: It was very cute and would you have a second update? Yes,

487
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 3: this is adorable.

488
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 2: This is adorable.

489
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 3: I feel like, Yeah, now going to certain parts of Redd,

490
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 3: it might be a great way to get ideas for

491
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 3: a rom com. Yeah, good ideas on it? So true,

492
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 3: Well a lot, you know in the grand scheme of things.

493
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 3: Out of the stories we read very small Yeah, yeah,

494
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 3: like maybe.

495
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 2: Five maybe five stories.

496
00:21:55,119 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 3: Five. We do have a second update. James and I

497
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 3: are exclusively dating and have been since that first date,

498
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 3: which went well. I thought that I would be the

499
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 3: nervous one and he would be chill, since I had

500
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 3: been overthinking about how our dynamic will change since day one,

501
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 3: and he kept saying that he was so excited for

502
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 3: the date. But when he picked me up and brought

503
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,920
Speaker 3: me flowers like the gentleman he is, my brain went

504
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 3: a quiet calm and everything just felt like it clicked

505
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 3: into place for me. He, on the other hand, was

506
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 3: sweating bullets, incredibly nervous. He was chivalrous and cheesy, opening

507
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 3: the car door for me and making a show of it.

508
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 3: It was really adorable. Also, this felt entirely new. I

509
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 3: wondered if our date would feel like a regular hangout,

510
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 3: but it didn't. It felt special, and my cheeks were

511
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 3: warm and tired from smiling the entire night. The car

512
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 3: ride was kind of awkward at first, just because he

513
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 3: was so stiff, but he explained that this is something

514
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 3: that he had been dreaming of for years now and

515
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 3: was really scared to mess up. He loosened up after

516
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 3: I reassured him that the biggest possible mess up wouldn't determine.

517
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 3: We had a real big heart to heart on the

518
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 3: drive to the restaurant and came to the conclusion that

519
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 3: no matter how this goes, we will be in each

520
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 3: other's lives no matter what capacity, it made us both

521
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 3: relax a bit more. I held his hand in the

522
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 3: parking lot. Because we already know each other like no

523
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 3: one else. We fell into our conversational habits, but it

524
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 3: still felt like I was unlocking parts of him that

525
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 3: weren't available to me before, and that he was doing

526
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:21,399
Speaker 3: the same to me.

527
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 2: That's nice.

528
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 3: That's because it's like dating someone is like you are

529
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 3: just friends, like you're friends, but you know, it's.

530
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,640
Speaker 2: More get Yeah, you get some of the deep lore.

531
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 3: I feel like, yeah, so it's like you should still

532
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 3: feel like you're just talking to a friend. But that

533
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 3: is nice that there's still that extra element there.

534
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 2: How sweet.

535
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 3: I really thought I would be freaked out, but it

536
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 3: is so natural, and we have such a deep trust

537
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 3: that has been established over the years that I don't

538
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 3: even feel slightly stressed. This is so nice.

539
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 2: I think I love it. Some of the best relationships

540
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 2: I think come from like this friendship, like this shared

541
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 2: friendship that you had. Yah, because a lot of relationships

542
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,159
Speaker 2: develop friendship, but like when you, I think, when you

543
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 2: start off as friends and then you get to know

544
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: each other as like another layer.

545
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's a beautiful thing. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing,

546
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 3: but there is a little bit more to the story.

547
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 3: Sometimes it is a little weird but nice. Over the years,

548
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 3: we haven't cut oled a few times, like ahead on

549
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 3: the shoulder with minimal contact, so being a little more

550
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,479
Speaker 3: intimate feels foreign, And sometimes I do feel the need

551
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 3: to rewire my brain because I have to remind myself

552
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 3: that it is appropriate to do with it now. But

553
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 3: once I remind myself, it is incredibly nice. It has

554
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 3: been over a month since our dates and we are

555
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:33,440
Speaker 3: still taking it slow. Don't expect an engagement announcement anytime soon.

556
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 3: We are comfortable with this pace. That is the end

557
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 3: of that story.

558
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 1: John here og host. We're going to get back to

559
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 1: these stories, but a quick three minute break from as

560
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

561
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,199
Speaker 2: My best friend lied to me for years and was

562
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 2: secretly in love with me.

563
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 3: Well are you in love with him?

564
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 2: I female, twenty eight have been friends with Blake twenty

565
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 2: eight male for about ten years now. We met when

566
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 2: I was traveling for a new job out of state,

567
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 2: and I kid you not immediately became best friends in

568
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 2: the week that I was there. Same interest, great energy

569
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 2: and conversation. We just clicked by the way this comes

570
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 2: from Songbird Spectrum and if you want to smit your

571
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subt

572
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,199
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and we're here to

573
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 2: give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have all the answers.

574
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 2: We only know what we do, so let us know

575
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments and Op says.

576
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 2: We were friends for nearly two years before trying the

577
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 2: dating thing. It lasted three months important, during which Blake

578
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 2: did not treat me well due to unresolved issues from

579
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 2: prior relationships okay and not a great start. Before I

580
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 2: could end it, he decided to end it himself as

581
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 2: he had feelings for someone else fine with me. We

582
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 2: were clearly better as friends. I took some space because

583
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 2: he hadn't been treating me well. He got into therapy

584
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 2: and apologized for being terrible and was willing to put

585
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 2: in the work to regain my trust for our friendship,

586
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 2: which he did consistently over the eight years since. Fast

587
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,199
Speaker 2: forward to now, I am now happily married to my

588
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 2: wonderful husband Cam twenty eight mail together for six years,

589
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 2: married at two oh. It is about to get missy Boy.

590
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 2: Blake and I are still best friends. He is now

591
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 2: with a wonderful woman, Kaylee, twenty one, female for almost

592
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 2: two years now. Started dating a few months before my wedding.

593
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,880
Speaker 2: This is important. Kaylee and I are also good friends.

594
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 2: She's the sweetest person. Blake also lives in the same

595
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 2: city as me now after his mother passed, having moved

596
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 2: down here for a better support network. His girlfriend moved

597
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 2: in about nine months ago. In the past six months

598
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 2: or so, things have been very strained with Blake. My

599
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 2: husband is very introverted, and Blake started voicing frustration about

600
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 2: his inability to be closer friends with Cam and feeling

601
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 2: like he bothers. Cam and I also started having weird

602
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 2: TIFFs with subtle nags and belittling comments. Then my husband

603
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,719
Speaker 2: and I came over to a game night for Blake's

604
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 2: birthday three months ago, during which Blake picked fights with

605
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 2: me about very weird things, for example, my career path,

606
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 2: how I'm going about it wrong, making comments like I

607
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: guess if you want to stunt yourself in life, you

608
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 2: can do it that way. Both Cam and I were

609
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 2: caught very off card and after several attempts to shut

610
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 2: it down, may it excuses and headed home. Later, Blake

611
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 2: proceeded to send me a text asking if I was

612
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 2: okay because the vibes felt off, to which I was like,

613
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 2: uh no, kidding, and explain my issue. He decided to

614
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 2: reply with an email who uses email anymore? Eight long

615
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 2: paragraphs about how he felt he and his experience was

616
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: dismissed in our discussion, how he felt ganged up on

617
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,680
Speaker 2: when Cam would defend my side, and how he felt

618
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,920
Speaker 2: like he can't be himself around me and Cam anymore.

619
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 2: He also made comments voicing that he didn't feel like

620
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 2: he could trust me because I tell Cam everything not true.

621
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 2: I always ask before sharing unless it's a danger or

622
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 2: moral issue. Okay, so it's not even true, and that

623
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 2: he thinks I'm unhealthily codependent on Cam because whenever Blake

624
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 2: and I hang out one on one, I'm always calling

625
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 2: to let Cam know how late i'll be out, or

626
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 2: check if I'm cool to pick up takeout. That's literally

627
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 2: her husband, that's her husband. Yeah, checking out with her husband.

628
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,959
Speaker 3: It's like, oh my god, you tell him everything, tell

629
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 3: him too much? Yeah, dude, that's what relationships are for.

630
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:00,880
Speaker 3: It's all the secrets.

631
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, secret, secret, why you get.

632
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 3: Into relationships sec your secret two people.

633
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 2: I tell everything to my best friend Isabella and my boyfriend. Yeah, exactly,

634
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 2: unless you say, hey, don't tell my best friend Isabella. Yeah,

635
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 2: but you gotta being it's like a genie.

636
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: You gotta be.

637
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 2: Specific in your wording. Honestly, really is. And it's like, ah,

638
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 2: they like, don't tell. Okay, damn, you got me. We're

639
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,360
Speaker 2: married with joint finances.

640
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: Sue me.

641
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 2: I'm suing you, I replied, trying to clarify my end

642
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 2: as well as understand where the ever eleven a heck

643
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 2: this all was coming from. But no matter how many

644
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 2: times I tried, we kept going in circles. The emailing

645
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 2: back and forth, during which he demanded we not meet

646
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 2: up till this was resolved, lasted till about two weeks ago,

647
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 2: when I said I needed time to think about how

648
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: to reply next. About a month ago, I got into

649
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 2: therapy because it was seriously messing with my head and

650
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: making me feel like I was a problem, and like

651
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 2: I couldn't talk to anyone about this because we share

652
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 2: much of our supports this. I finally broke down to

653
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,959
Speaker 2: my sister when she came over to see why I

654
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 2: hadn't been answering her or really anyone yay anxiety. Lately,

655
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 2: She's also friends with Blake through me. I let her

656
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 2: read the emails. She got pretty ticked on my behalf

657
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: and then proceeded to drop of a bombshell on me

658
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 2: in Cam. Blake is apparently still in love with me

659
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 2: and hates Cam's guts. Boo booo.

660
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 3: Sorry dude, you had your chance and you've treated me

661
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 3: so poorly.

662
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 2: Yeah that's crazy. Yeah, like he literally treated her terribly. Yeah,

663
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 2: left her for another girl. Yeah, and then is coming.

664
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess he's not telling her, but we're

665
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: finding out that he's been in love with her this

666
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 2: whole time.

667
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why he's been crap talking in this whole time.

668
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:44,640
Speaker 3: Messed up, Get out of here.

669
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 2: Apparently, when she drove to pick up Blake out of

670
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: state for our wedding, he was a groomsman. He confided

671
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 2: in her and her husband that he didn't agree with

672
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 2: the wedding and wished I would break up with Cam

673
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 2: and give him another chance. That were soulmates and Cam

674
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 2: isn't the one for me. Shut it down. But Blake

675
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 2: proceeded to do the same thing when she drove him

676
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: back home after our wedding. He ended off saying he

677
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 2: just needed some time, So my sister kept her mouth

678
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: shut because she knew that he's my best friend and

679
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 2: hoped she could trust him to resolve it over time

680
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: since he lived far away. Blake then moved near me

681
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,959
Speaker 2: about a year ago, and Kaylee moved in the August.

682
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 2: After My husband's and my wedding anniversary is in October,

683
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 2: and apparently Blake called my sister's husband to again confide

684
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 2: that he's still in love with me and wishes I

685
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 2: would divorce Cam because he would be a better husband

686
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 2: to me.

687
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 3: You have no credibility there.

688
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 2: You literally already had your chance and you failed.

689
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. If it could have worked out, it would have it,

690
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 3: and it freaking didn't.

691
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. While living with Kaylee, who he's told me is

692
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 2: his soulmate, I think he's dying. This was about when

693
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: all the stress started, so she never found a good

694
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 2: moment to bring it up, as if to ice the cake.

695
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 2: Kaylee and I have been keeping up via text through

696
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: all of this. Again, we're friends. During the past few weeks,

697
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 2: I learned some odd things. Kaylee got new piercings, reportedly

698
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 2: encouraged by Blake to do so because she looked so cute.

699
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 2: A double nose piercing and septum, which possibly coincidentally Blake

700
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 2: told me to get as a post wedding gift two

701
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 2: years ago. Blake apparently has beef with the month of

702
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 2: August and so has decided their anniversary will be in October.

703
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, you have beef with a whole month.

704
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 2: You have beef with a monk month. Monk with a

705
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 2: monk with you even do that?

706
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 3: I'm out of all the stupid things that are in

707
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 3: the story. Yeah, that's the stupidest August. She have beef

708
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 3: with the month of August, and that's in quotes.

709
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, the reason he gave was because it's spooky month.

710
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 2: That's not even true that October they live. Oh oh sorry,

711
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 2: I thought the reason he was giving for not liking

712
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 2: August was that it was spooky month. But the reason

713
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 2: that he wants the anniversary in October is because it's

714
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 2: spooky month. I see, But Cam and I started dating

715
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 2: and got married that month. I also, at my sister's prompt,

716
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 2: went back and checked. When Blake and I broke up

717
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 2: August twenty seventeen, It's also worth noting Blake had another

718
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 2: relationship fall apart because the girl was outright convinced Blake

719
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 2: was cheating on her with me to the point of

720
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: blasting me for weeks as some homewrecker. Cam and I

721
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 2: always talked it up to her insecurity, but now I'm

722
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 2: wondering if she was just watching Blake carry on some weird,

723
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,479
Speaker 2: one sided emotional affair. I love my husband more than

724
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 2: words can say, and he makes me happier than anyone

725
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 2: I've ever met. He's my ultimate best friend. Learning all

726
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 2: of this has made me feel so gross and like

727
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 2: a horrible wife, though Cam has been wonderfully supportive and

728
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 2: doesn't blame me at all. All this to say, I'm

729
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 2: ending our friendship but have no clue how. I feel

730
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 2: like I have to tell Kaylee as this has all

731
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 2: happened during their relationship and living together and the woman

732
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 2: deserves the world, but also recognized I have no real

733
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 2: proof beyond spoken accounts besides the weird emails sounds like

734
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 2: some wild conspiracy theory or soap opera. My therapist is

735
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 2: on vacation, so I'm on my own. After learning all this,

736
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 2: I'm also realizing just how manipula. Blake has been for

737
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: years given this context, and already feels shaky about confronting him.

738
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 2: Given my serious confrontation anxiety which he knows about and

739
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 2: could easily try to exploit. I'm realizing more and more

740
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 2: that he has massive control issues that I dismissed as

741
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 2: anxiety for years. The fact that he lives so close

742
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 2: now fills me with dread rather than joy. I want

743
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 2: to come out of this with no regrets, knowing I

744
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 2: stood up for myself and then I put a decisive

745
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 2: end to this. I want Blake to know his actions

746
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 2: and creepy ulterior motives are the reason our decade long

747
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 2: friendship is done. I've never ended a friendship myself, and

748
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 2: this is basically friend breakup on steroids. How do I

749
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 2: break this lunacy to Kaylee in a way that sounds

750
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: remotely believable given the front Blake is built. I also

751
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 2: would love some advice on how to go about telling

752
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 2: Blake I know everything and we're absolutely done and there

753
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 2: is an update. Any thoughts.

754
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 3: Obviously, you want to be honest with her, and I

755
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 3: think you will be. I don't think you're leaning towards

756
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 3: and like leaving things out. Yeah, but yeah, I think

757
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 3: there's definitely a way to go about it of just

758
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 3: like hey, I just want to talk to you and

759
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 3: get a preface in with all this stuff about like,

760
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 3: you know, I just found this out, this is what's happening.

761
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 3: This is what I'm doing about it, Like I make

762
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 3: you feel, yeah, like this is what I heard. You

763
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,879
Speaker 3: might want to check with him to make sure that's true. Yeah,

764
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:18,240
Speaker 3: this is just what I.

765
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 2: Heard and from her sister, So yeah, exactly, like that's

766
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 2: I'm going to believe it.

767
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 3: And honestly, he's been acting weird like this and this

768
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 3: and this all our years. I didn't like how he

769
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 3: tread me all this stuff, Like I think that this

770
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 3: stuff is a lie. Like I wonder if Kaylee knows

771
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 3: about his beef with August, and yeah, is.

772
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 2: Maybe wondering what's up with August, what's up with her? Yeah,

773
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 2: And it might be the wrong idea, but potentially you

774
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 2: could bring Cam to that meeting since they were friends

775
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 2: or like somewhat friends. Yeah, maybe if you're really uncomfortable

776
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,720
Speaker 2: or feel a little bit like scared about this, maybe

777
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 2: bring Cam and just say like, hey, you sit over

778
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 2: there right out conversation.

779
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, all right.

780
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 2: Update next day, Cam knew about mine Blake's dating stint

781
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 2: from the start. Cam also has friends who is similarly dated.

782
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 2: This is not an issue for us, and he has

783
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 2: been aware and involved in everything that happened. My husband

784
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 2: told me to tell any who are concerned. I love

785
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 2: and trust my wife. And someone has a problem, that's

786
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 2: a you problem, buggo now that that's a side. I

787
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 2: decided to talk to Kaylee after all. I asked her

788
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: to meet up and treated her to coffee in Peastries

789
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 2: and then disclosed everything I knew. She listened, even reaching

790
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 2: over to hold my hand when she saw me shaking,

791
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: and thanked me for telling her. In short, she has

792
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 2: decided to stay with Blake for now. They are living together,

793
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 2: so sooneh but as moving forward with this in mind,

794
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 2: as is her right to decide. She wants to stay

795
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 2: friends with me and fully understands that I want nothing

796
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 2: to do with Blake and why, as well as to

797
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 2: not share any info about me with him, and that

798
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 2: there'll be some distance for a bit. I did confront

799
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 2: Blake in person. This was mostly due to the fact

800
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 2: that I wanted to get it out of the way

801
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 2: right after talking to Kaylee without raising alarm bells, and

802
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 2: meeting up under the guise of talking it out in

803
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 2: person was the easiest way to do that. My husband

804
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 2: went with me, though the conversation was just between Blake

805
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 2: and myself. I took several safety precautions as well, such

806
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 2: as secretly recording the interaction. Initially, Blake started in on

807
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 2: classic darvo, saying he didn't remember saying those things to

808
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 2: my sister, and then remembered certain things but in different contexts.

809
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 2: I shut all that down, as well as any excuses

810
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 2: and justifications given, and firmly landed my point that, regardless

811
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 2: of intent or reasoning, his actions are wildly inappropriate and inexcusable.

812
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 2: After dismantling enough of the excuses, he actually offered several apologies,

813
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 2: owning up to his actions. Whether he meant them or not,

814
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 2: I don't know nor care, but he was semi cathartic

815
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 2: for sure. He insists everything with Kaylee is coincidental, but

816
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 2: either way that is between them. At this point. The

817
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,439
Speaker 2: conversation ended with him saying he didn't want to lose

818
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 2: our friendship, that he was willing to take a friendship

819
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 2: break for a bit establish better boundaries, that he feels

820
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 2: he's in a better place to be more honest than now.

821
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 2: He was aware of the issue, would pay more care

822
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 2: in not breaking my boundaries. I shut him down, saying

823
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 2: that that ship sailed long ago and it shouldn't have

824
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 2: taken me, saying I'm done for him to put effort

825
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 2: into respecting me. He then said he'd respect my decision

826
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: to under friendship, but beg me to at least keep

827
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,760
Speaker 2: an open mind at possible future reconciliation. I was pretty

828
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,879
Speaker 2: much done at this point and told him flat out

829
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 2: that these are the consequences of his own actions, that

830
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: I can never trust anything he says or does ever again,

831
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 2: not even if in some alternative universe I was open

832
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 2: to that he would be an acquaintance and certainly would

833
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 2: never be my best or even close friend again. He

834
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 2: was quiet and teary eyed after this, I assume because

835
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 2: he knew things were coming to a close. I stood up.

836
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 2: He asked me for one last hug. I said no,

837
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,280
Speaker 2: reached out to shake his hand, and left without looking back,

838
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 2: which felt kind of legendary until I got down the

839
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,280
Speaker 2: block and round the corner and had a panic attack

840
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 2: that had been looming all day when some lose him.

841
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,919
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts, Yeah, I mean I think it's fair

842
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,800
Speaker 2: that you're going to have that panic attack afterwards. So yeah,

843
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 2: I mean it was such like a hard conversation to have.

844
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, in just such a complicated situation in general, Like

845
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 3: you're going to have all of those feelings even if

846
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 3: you've made your decision on what you want to do

847
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 3: about it and how you feel on it, Like it

848
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,240
Speaker 3: totally makes sense that there's still all these other complete

849
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 3: opposing feelings. Yeah, you know, but I'm proud of you.

850
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 3: I think you took care of it pretty well.

851
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 2: Agreed.

852
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, just having that conversation is very impressive.

853
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 2: Good job, agreed. Overall, though, I think this went as

854
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,760
Speaker 2: well as it could have. I'm not letting my guard

855
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 2: down yet, jost in case, but it's a relief that

856
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 2: it's finally seemingly resolved. Admittedly I'm not doing great, but

857
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,399
Speaker 2: I know I'll be okay. Cam helped me realize I'm

858
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 2: basically mourning the passing of a decade long friend. While

859
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 2: Blake himself may not be gone, the Blake I knew

860
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 2: is so I'm trying to give myself some grace in

861
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 2: processing through this. Cam has decided tonight is reserved for

862
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 2: Taco's cake and video games together for some dopamine, and

863
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 2: we're both calling into work tomorrow after this chaos. And

864
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story. My best friend

865
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:57,720
Speaker 2: manipulated my wife into cheating just to prove he could.

866
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's a way to lose it. Friend.

867
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: Look, I'm already feeling like an insecure idiot for even

868
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 2: writing this, but I need an outside perspective because my

869
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 2: wife just shut me down when I tried to talk

870
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 2: to her. By the way, this comes from Itchi kas

871
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 2: forty two eleven, and if you want to submit your

872
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime suppared it.

873
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and we're here to

874
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,760
Speaker 2: give good advice goofully, But we don't have all the answers.

875
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

876
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments and op Sas

877
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,760
Speaker 2: My wife Sarah twenty eight female and I thirty mail

878
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 2: have been married for two years. My best friend Mark

879
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 2: twenty nine Mail is basically the brother I never had.

880
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,240
Speaker 2: We've been a solid trio since Sarah and I started

881
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 2: dating five years ago. I thought it was great that

882
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 2: they got along so well. It made everything easier. But

883
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 2: lately I'm just getting this gut feeling that their relationship

884
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 2: has shifted. It feels like they're a unit and I'm

885
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,280
Speaker 2: the nice guy who brought them together. It's a million

886
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 2: little things, like they're always texting. If Sarah has a

887
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 2: bad day, she's venting to before she even gets home.

888
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 2: Last week, she was super stressed about this project and

889
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 2: I asked her about it that night, and she just

890
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: casually says, oh, I already talked to Mark about it.

891
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 2: He gave me some good advice. It's like all her

892
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: emotional crises, big or small, go to him first. I

893
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 2: feel like I'm getting the filtered, day old version of

894
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: her life while Mark gets the live feet. Then there

895
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,839
Speaker 2: are the inside jokes. When the three of us are

896
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 2: hanging out, they'll just start going back and forth, laughing

897
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: at some random reference. I have to literally interrupt and ask, wait,

898
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: what are you guys talking about? And they'll both be

899
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 2: like it's nothing, or give me this brief, half budded

900
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 2: explanation that just makes me feel dumb. It's constant. It

901
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 2: feels exclusionary. They are just so physically comfortable best or

902
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 2: she's a cuddly person. But if Mark is on the

903
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 2: couch next to us, her head will be on his shoulder,

904
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 2: or they'll be leaning into each other talking about a

905
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 2: show they both like. It looks completely innocent, but it's

906
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 2: more physical and relaxed than she is with some of

907
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 2: her female friends, because she's cheating on you, at least emotionally.

908
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 2: I finally tried to bring it up last night. I

909
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 2: didn't yell or accuse anyone. I just said, hey, love

910
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 2: that you would mark our friends, But sometimes when you

911
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,719
Speaker 2: two are talking, I feel a little left out, like

912
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 2: I'm interrupting a private conversation. She immediately blew up, not yelling,

913
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 2: but freezing cold. Are you serious right now? Are you

914
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 2: telling me I can't have friends? This is insane. You're

915
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 2: being so insecure and childish. She called me jealous and

916
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 2: said I need to grow up and trust her. She

917
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 2: said it was offensive that I would even hint that

918
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 2: anything was going on. Maybe she's right. Mark is a

919
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 2: great guy. He would never do anything. He's actively doing something,

920
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 2: and Sarah is loyal. No, she's not, dude, Open your eyes,

921
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,800
Speaker 2: But why do I feel like the most important parts

922
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: of her life are being shared with him and not

923
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,360
Speaker 2: with her husband, because that's what she's doing. Why is

924
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,280
Speaker 2: she so defensive because she's cheating on you. It's making

925
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 2: me doubt myself and the study of our marriage. I

926
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 2: feel like the backup friend. Is this really just my

927
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,840
Speaker 2: massive insecurity or is it normal to feel so deeply

928
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 2: uncomfortable when your spouse treats your best friend like their

929
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 2: primary emotional outlet. I honestly don't know if I'm the

930
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 2: a hole here. The blow up anger and making this

931
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 2: all about you is a definite red flag. If my

932
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 2: husband would address a concern like that, I'd be mortified

933
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:25,839
Speaker 2: for giving him the wrong impression and talk it through,

934
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 2: because that's what you do when you love someone. If

935
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 2: she's incapable of reflecting on her own behavior to see

936
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,879
Speaker 2: if maybe you have a point, she's either guilty as

937
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 2: heck or extremely immature. Both are serious concerns. There is

938
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 2: an update. I just don't care about anything now. I

939
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 2: just want to disappear you all are right? She is

940
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 2: cheating on me that which is stupid as f Okay,

941
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Let me tell you what happened. My best

942
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 2: friend and I went out alone. I asked him about

943
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 2: his relationship with my wife. He said everything was fine.

944
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 2: I think he thought I was being sarcastic, but I'm not.

945
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,759
Speaker 2: I asked him about how they are so close that

946
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm feeling like an outsider between them. He said, sorry

947
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: for making me feel like that, but nothing happened. I

948
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,799
Speaker 2: pressed him a little bit, and that's it. I wish

949
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 2: I didn't press that mother effort.

950
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 1: You wish you did it.

951
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 3: Wait, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

952
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 2: This guy's going there's nothing happened. And then if he says,

953
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 2: are you sure, and he goes. I love her because

954
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 2: she's fun, and I wanted an ego boost that I

955
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 2: could take your girl if I wanted, But this witch

956
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 2: fell in love with him. She asked him that she

957
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 2: told him that she'll leave me if he's okay with it,

958
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 2: but he rejected her. Then he said, if she's capable

959
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 2: of cheating on me, she's also capable of cheating on him. Well,

960
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, but weird logic, dang in my whole

961
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 2: effing reddit life, I use this statement. If she's capable

962
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 2: of cheating on her husband to get with you, she

963
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 2: might as well be ready to cheat on you to

964
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 2: get to someone else. Never did I think that this

965
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 2: sentence would be used in my life. He also said

966
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 2: they slept together for times. I didn't ask him when exactly,

967
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 2: because I just went cold and numb.

968
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: At least she kind of got what she deserved here,

969
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, because like he literally pulled the like.

970
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: She's like, I mean, I'll literally like leave my husband

971
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: for you, and he goes, oh, no, I don't want you.

972
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: You cheated on your husband. That's disgusting. You're for the streets.

973
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 1: I'll never trust you again.

974
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 2: They're all terrible people. At this point, I'm just laughing

975
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 2: at how pathetic my wife is. Well, I cut him off.

976
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 2: He begged me, but I ignored him, went home, confronted her.

977
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 2: She denied played dumb, but bro she had the audacity

978
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 2: to call me insecure and controlling. That fact made me

979
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 2: colder than a witch. I said, I'm going to divorce her,

980
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 2: and she started crying and begging me not to and

981
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 2: started saying she loves me. I wonder why she does that.

982
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 2: If she truly loved me, she wouldn't say she wanted

983
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 2: to leave me for my best friend, that which is

984
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 2: a waitress. After all, she has no goal, no ambitions.

985
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,319
Speaker 2: I think she loved the stability I provided more than

986
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 2: she did me. But I don't mind providing it to

987
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,240
Speaker 2: her if she's straightforward and honest. She just kept begging.

988
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 2: I tried to leave, and she held my legs. I

989
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:11,280
Speaker 2: just broke free and ran away, literally like a coward.

990
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,880
Speaker 2: I went to my sister's house, an hour long drive,

991
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 2: and just knocked on the door and crashed in the

992
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 2: guest room bedroom. She tried to talk to me, but

993
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 2: I wouldn't talk to her. I think I should. I'm

994
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 2: still on the bed here. My phone is literally bursting

995
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 2: with calls and messages. I turned on airplane mode so

996
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 2: I could type this. While I was coming home, my

997
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 2: best friend called me. I thought I didn't want to

998
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 2: talk to him, but I did want to hear what

999
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 2: he had to say. He said my wife called him

1000
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 2: to come to her home, but he declined that he

1001
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 2: doesn't want to ruin our friendship. Writing this gave me

1002
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 2: some clarity. I guess it's just funny oupathetic she is

1003
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 2: to think my best friend really is in love with her,

1004
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 2: and I feel bad that she's alone now. No mutual

1005
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 2: friends know this. Should I tell everyone or just divorce

1006
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 2: and proceed. Let's start with divorcing. Let's start with that.

1007
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: I agree.

1008
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 2: Unless you have like some really good friends who you

1009
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 2: think will actually support you and to get this off

1010
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 2: your chest, then sure, just make it.

1011
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: Get ready with me, Yeah, get ready with me?

1012
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 2: Why talking videos?

1013
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,280
Speaker 1: Well, I talk to you about why I no longer

1014
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: have a wife or a best friend.

1015
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there are some comments. Divorce her and tell

1016
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 2: everyone what she did and what your pos friend did.

1017
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 2: They don't deserve any sympathy. No sympathy for cheaters, Opie

1018
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 2: replies to comments after learning his wife was manipulated by

1019
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 2: her a fair partner. I am so eager to learn

1020
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 2: how she spends this. I have no problem with them

1021
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 2: sleeping together. I don't care. I don't want to control

1022
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 2: anyone because I'm struggling to control myself in the first place.

1023
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 2: I'm literally hurt because I might still be in love

1024
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 2: with her. That she's alone, crying and he denied her.

1025
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 2: This hit me when he said, like, why do you

1026
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 2: want to hurt that poor crying girl? If you really

1027
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 2: loved her. Your friend said that to you. Your friend

1028
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,839
Speaker 2: said presumably when you were like, yeah, I'm leaving her.

1029
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 2: He was like, why would you want to hurt that

1030
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 2: poor crying girl? And then OPI continues, why does he

1031
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 2: think his side deserves respect? And manipulating? Okay, I don't

1032
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 2: think it's manipulation. But he didn't love her, she loved him.

1033
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 2: He made her believe he loved her. Isn't that unfair

1034
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 2: to her? But there is a second update. I don't

1035
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 2: understand why people are saying they might get together. I

1036
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 2: want to say to them that I really don't care

1037
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 2: about what my wife and best friend.

1038
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,760
Speaker 1: Do you mean you don't understand why people are saying

1039
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: they might get together? They cheated She cheated on you

1040
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: with this guy.

1041
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 2: I think you need to get off for edidope, that's

1042
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 2: my advice. In fact, I'm actually a little bit more

1043
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 2: happy at least she's not alone.

1044
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:36,040
Speaker 1: I want this guy to leave me alone. What's going

1045
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 1: on here?

1046
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 3: Man?

1047
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 2: There's a little bit left of this story. But ay

1048
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 2: yi yi, But the thing is he rejected her. That

1049
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 2: mother effort is using that same dialogue. If she cheats

1050
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 2: on me, she also cheats on him. That she's not

1051
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,800
Speaker 2: trustable and she ended up lonely. Still, no one shared

1052
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: anything to mutual friends as I need some time I'm

1053
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 2: starting to think that he might be a sociopath or something.

1054
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 2: There are a lot of unfair things in the world,

1055
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 2: and if we think about that, we spend our whole

1056
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 2: life feeling bad for others. Please don't care about this

1057
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 2: post at all, and thank you all for your help.

1058
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 2: I was blind when I wrote post one, but not anymore.

1059
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 2: I think you're a little bit blind still.

1060
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: I think you need to like talk to a professional, yeah,

1061
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 1: to really get things sorted out of me.

1062
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 2: In a new prescription, I think mentally like you need

1063
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 2: a new like emotional, you.

1064
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: Need a new prescription, mental prescription for mental.

1065
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 2: Glass, mental clarity. But that's yeah story, folks, Sam here

1066
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 2: og host.

1067
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three

1068
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:36,720
Speaker 1: minutes fads from our sponsors. First, I tried to save

1069
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 1: my wife from her past, but it didn't end well.

1070
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 2: You can't save me from my past.

1071
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: I uh, forty six male, have been married to my wife,

1072
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: forty five female for over twenty years. We have three

1073
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: teenage kids, and until recently I would have said we

1074
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 1: had a wonderful marriage. But looking back, I think out

1075
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: of pure love and obsession, I've been seeing things through

1076
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,319
Speaker 1: rose colored glasses. By the way, this comes from user

1077
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 1: Independent Drive five point forty four. If you want to

1078
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay stories.

1079
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,760
Speaker 1: I'm Suburnate, I'm Dakota.

1080
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Angie.

1081
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 1: And we are here to give you good advice. Goofy,

1082
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

1083
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: what we would do, so if you would do something else,

1084
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 1: let us know in the comments. And op says. We

1085
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 1: met in college through her best friend. She had a

1086
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 1: tough upbringing. Her mom was very young when she was born,

1087
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 1: and her parents were never married. She didn't meet her

1088
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 1: biological dad until her thirties. Her mom is not a

1089
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: good person and they are no contact now. Until my

1090
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,279
Speaker 1: wife was a teenager, she shared a bedroom with her

1091
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 1: mother in her grandparents' house. They were more like sisters.

1092
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: As a teenager, her mom married another awful person after

1093
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 1: having an affair with him. He was divorced with two

1094
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 1: kids slightly older than my wife. Imagine merging two families

1095
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,839
Speaker 1: with teenage kids after their dad cheated on their mother

1096
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 1: and forced them all into one house. My wife endured

1097
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,839
Speaker 1: count less horrors as a child. She was never complimented.

1098
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 1: Growing up, I have never heard my mother in law

1099
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 1: compliment her. My wife was always smart, did well in school,

1100
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 1: and helped her ound the house. She was and is

1101
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 1: a very pretty Her mother only criticized her constantly. To

1102
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: say this has taken a mental toll is an understatement.

1103
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 1: I've loved her with every sense of my being and

1104
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: supported her through therapy, and i am, by no means

1105
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: a perfect husband, but I've tried my best to be

1106
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: supportive and loving. Fast forward to today, my wife obviously

1107
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: has a lot of issue stemming from her childhood. I

1108
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: love her more than anything, but it hasn't been easy.

1109
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 1: I've borne the brunt of some pretty outlandish treatment, and

1110
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if I've been blinded by love and if

1111
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 1: this is not a safe and healthy environment for me.

1112
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,319
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could ever leave. I don't

1113
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 1: know if I could do that to her or my kids.

1114
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: But I'm starting to feel like I'm only here to

1115
00:50:56,080 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 1: provide support financially, emotionally, physically, and with About five years ago,

1116
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 1: we went to a beach location for a long weekend

1117
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 1: with a lifelong friend of mine and his family. One night,

1118
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:11,320
Speaker 1: while leaving an amusement park. My friend and I asked

1119
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 1: the wives if we could grab a drink and watch

1120
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: the end of a baseball game at a nearby bar

1121
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 1: while they got ice cream next door. Everyone seemed fine

1122
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 1: with this. We were gone maybe thirty minutes. When we

1123
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: got home, my wife lost it. She couldn't believe I

1124
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 1: abandoned the family. That was the first time she lost control.

1125
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 1: She did awful things, and I just froze. This pattern

1126
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:38,399
Speaker 1: escalated over the next few months. She slammed the shower door,

1127
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 1: breaking it and trapping me unclothed inside. If she hadn't

1128
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: brought me a screwdriver to remove the door, I'd still

1129
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: be in there. Right before the holidays. In twenty nineteen,

1130
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 1: my wife had a disagreement with my daughter. My wife

1131
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 1: made a mistake and said something she shouldn't have, but

1132
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 1: instead of simply apologizing, she turned it into the Third

1133
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 1: World War. After my daughter went to her room punished,

1134
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: my wife and I went to our room. I tried

1135
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:08,800
Speaker 1: to calm her down, but she wanted me to match

1136
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 1: her level of outrage. I'm over six feet tall and

1137
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,959
Speaker 1: a pretty fit guy. My wife is almost a foot

1138
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: shorter and maybe eighty pounds lighter. I sat there, frozen

1139
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 1: and afraid. I didn't even want to grab her hands

1140
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 1: out of fear i'd be blamed for the fight and arrested.

1141
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 1: She was unhinged. After this, I freaked out. Our kids

1142
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 1: heard the commotion and we later had to talk to

1143
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: them about it. I told my wife this wasn't safe

1144
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 1: for me. She had a near breakdown out of fear

1145
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 1: I would leave her. She discussed it with her therapist.

1146
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 1: We went to couples therapy for the first time. I've

1147
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:43,439
Speaker 1: come to realize that therapists, or at least the ones

1148
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: we've seen, focus on the patient with the most needs.

1149
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 1: Given my wife's past, she has the most mental health issues,

1150
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 1: so that's where the focus was. The VID came and

1151
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 1: the couple's therapy stopped. We tried again last year, and

1152
00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 1: that was worse for the same reasons. My wife very

1153
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 1: beautiful and gets attention anywhere she goes. I have always

1154
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: complimented her her beauty, her intellect, how wonderful of a

1155
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 1: mother she is, how incredible of a cook and hostess

1156
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 1: she is. She's amazing in so many ways. I think

1157
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: I'm good looking, but nothing special. I'm in good shape,

1158
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 1: but I'm going bald and I've aged. I was fine

1159
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 1: with this for a long time, but as I started

1160
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 1: to age, I felt somewhat insecure. I looked for reassurance

1161
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 1: from her about my physical appearance, and she didn't come

1162
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 1: through for me. She had never really complimented my appearance

1163
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 1: or whole relationship. One night, after we were intimate, she

1164
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 1: told me how small I was. I always thought she

1165
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 1: was pleased, so hearing a complaint in that department was

1166
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 1: quite a blow. She later admitted she said it to

1167
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 1: hurt me out of some sort of anger. She wasn't

1168
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: even sure what she was mad about. Not long after that,

1169
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 1: I asked her what was physically attractive about me. I

1170
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 1: was just looking to feel better about myself, and she

1171
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: told me there was nothing. Those were her words, and

1172
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 1: she was kind of shocked that I was taken aback

1173
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 1: and hurt by it. She tried to walk that back

1174
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 1: over the years. Around that time, I said I was

1175
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 1: feeling anxiety over work and the kids and life. For

1176
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,879
Speaker 1: the first time ever, I asked if she could try

1177
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 1: to be more supportive. She said no, that she was

1178
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 1: already a good wife and was providing support already. She

1179
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: couldn't do anymore.

1180
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,440
Speaker 2: This is this is my maximum support level. That's all

1181
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 2: you getta get.

1182
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 1: Your wife sounds like a real Georgia Peach.

1183
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:33,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like if you're going to therapy and

1184
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 2: this is what she you know, she's like, I think

1185
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 2: it's it's time to say, hey, I'm not seeing any

1186
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 2: changes here, and maybe I don't know, maybe we would

1187
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:44,760
Speaker 2: go to the doctor, but like, I can't keep living

1188
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 2: like this.

1189
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, at some point, you just got to be like,

1190
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:50,720
Speaker 1: you're a nasty little lady. You're nasty and I don't

1191
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 1: like spending my life with you because you make me

1192
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 1: feel bad.

1193
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 2: You make me feel really bad about myself.

1194
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 1: We talked through a lot of it. I expressed how

1195
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 1: it made me feel, and she apologized. She's way more

1196
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 1: giving of compliments than she's ever been now, but it

1197
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: feels forced like she's only saying it because I asked

1198
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 1: her to. My wife has a massive fear of abandonment

1199
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:17,719
Speaker 1: and massive trust issues. Uh yeah, okay, never mind. So

1200
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: maybe she's not cheating on you. She's just doing the

1201
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 1: thing where it's like i'll make him leave so that

1202
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,080
Speaker 1: because I know he's gonna do it anyway. Yeah, she

1203
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 1: regularly accuses me of cheating. I have been nothing but faithful.

1204
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 1: I travel about three days a month for work, and

1205
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 1: she regularly wakes me up in the middle of the

1206
00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: night to FaceTime to see if anyone's in my room. Obviously,

1207
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 1: there's never been anyone else in my room. One night

1208
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 1: last year, I had to travel to give an important

1209
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 1: presentation first thing in the morning, and I'd prepared for weeks.

1210
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 1: It was stressful. My wife and I spoke around ten PM,

1211
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:53,479
Speaker 1: talked for about half an hour, and I went to bed.

1212
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:56,400
Speaker 1: At two am, I woke up to banging on the

1213
00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:00,720
Speaker 1: hotel door. She had somehow convinced the hotel tell manager

1214
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,839
Speaker 1: to check on me because of an emergency. I realized

1215
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,840
Speaker 1: I had maybe ten missed calls and thirty text messages

1216
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 1: from her. I had been asleep, So we FaceTime and

1217
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 1: we confirmed there's no one in the hotel room with me.

1218
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 1: She wasn't sorry, she was mad it took her so

1219
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,359
Speaker 1: long to get a hold of me. I was now

1220
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,399
Speaker 1: wide awake and had to give this presentation, then work

1221
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 1: a full day and attend to work dinner on basically

1222
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 1: three hours of sleep. My wife has always been insanely

1223
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 1: jealous of other women. My first boss after college was

1224
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 1: like four years older than me, and her husband worked

1225
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 1: at the same company. My wife hated her because I

1226
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:39,320
Speaker 1: would talk about her. I basically gave up any female

1227
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:43,439
Speaker 1: friendships I had. Bachelor parties were particularly an issue when

1228
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:46,280
Speaker 1: all my friends were getting married. She hated the idea

1229
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 1: of me going to the spicy dance club. Neither of

1230
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: us had spicy dancers at a or bachelorette parties. Some

1231
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 1: friends of mine did go to these clubs for their

1232
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 1: bachelor parties, and she wanted me to attend, but stay

1233
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: in contact the entire time. I would literally text her

1234
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 1: nearly the entire time describing the situation. This happened three

1235
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 1: or four times, and when I got home, I got

1236
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 1: the third degree. She examined me, smelled me, examined my

1237
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 1: body for evidence, and examined my underwear. And then this

1238
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 1: last one. I said, I didn't want to go. Why

1239
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 1: is she doing all this if she's like, yeah, I

1240
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't find anything about you attractive.

1241
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.

1242
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 2: There's nothing relationship that needs to end.

1243
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 1: Also, were you touched by a single woman like even like,

1244
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: because if you were, I will literally rip you in half.

1245
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: That's crazy. That's insane. I think you need to divorce. Yeah,

1246
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 1: she wanted me to go and stay in touch. She

1247
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 1: promised to back off some, but she didn't. At one point,

1248
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 1: a bouncer came over and told me to put the

1249
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 1: phone away when I was texting, so I did. All

1250
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 1: of this would have been no big deal. These bachelor

1251
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 1: parties all happened over ten years ago. Recently, she was

1252
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: talking about her best friend's bachelorette party from years ago.

1253
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 1: My wife was the maid of honor. She had always

1254
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 1: insisted she never went to a spicy club. Ever, well,

1255
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 1: recently my wife mentioned something about men pulling her friend

1256
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 1: up on stage and embarrassing her. I asked where this was.

1257
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 1: Even in that moment, I wouldn't have cared. I trust her,

1258
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 1: or until all this, I fully trusted her. She insisted

1259
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 1: this was at a typical bachelorette party restaurant that wasn't

1260
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,959
Speaker 1: a spicy club. I said, it felt like she wasn't

1261
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 1: being honest. She was offended. She's like, I just went

1262
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 1: there for the wings.

1263
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?

1264
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,920
Speaker 1: We were just there for the lemon pepper wings.

1265
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 2: Who it's really good.

1266
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 1: Don't understand.

1267
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 2: Wasn't there for this.

1268
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: I wasn't there for the men.

1269
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 2: Wasn't there for the men?

1270
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:44,919
Speaker 1: I wasn't there for the men in their bodies, I said.

1271
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:46,880
Speaker 1: The real issue was that she thought I might have

1272
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 1: put her through the same thing she put me through.

1273
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 1: But she doubled and drippled down. She goes to the

1274
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 1: other room, texts her best friend and comes back to

1275
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: show me. She asks, did we go to a spicy

1276
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 1: club for your bachelorette party? Which seems like an odd

1277
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:02,600
Speaker 1: question to ask out of the blue. The responses seemed

1278
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 1: odd too, so I ask, is this the full text exchange?

1279
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: It feels like something is missing. I look in her

1280
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 1: deleted text and sure enough, there are deleted texts. I

1281
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 1: restore it and the response from the friend is oh,

1282
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 1: that is a definite yes. So I look at my

1283
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 1: wife shocked. She says her friend is wrong. Now I'm annoyed,

1284
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: asking what happened that you would lie about this? What

1285
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 1: did you do? We have an argument where I'm gaslighted unbelievably,

1286
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 1: and she doesn't remember her friend is wrong. Oh, that's

1287
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 1: why she deleted the text. She didn't cheat or do

1288
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 1: anything wrong. No real resolution, but she promises she'll figure

1289
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:41,320
Speaker 1: out exactly what happened. Fast forward about a month to

1290
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,040
Speaker 1: a holiday party. We see her best friend for the

1291
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 1: first time in a few months. They talk a lot,

1292
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,880
Speaker 1: we leave, and twenty minutes later she's in the passenger

1293
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,920
Speaker 1: seat when she gets a text from her friend. It

1294
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: includes a screenshot from one of their other friends, and

1295
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:58,080
Speaker 1: the text says, wife and I just cannot remember what

1296
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 1: we did for the bachelorette party. Do you remember? The

1297
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: response is this whole description of a comedy show they

1298
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:09,280
Speaker 1: went to. The entire thing is so contrived it's almost comical.

1299
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: There's no way this is true, and it's so clear

1300
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 1: they discussed this at the party and came up with

1301
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:18,960
Speaker 1: this plan. I feel so manipulated. My wife is almost

1302
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:22,120
Speaker 1: giddy reading the text and saying they've now solved the mystery.

1303
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 1: I have no idea what happened at that bachelorette party,

1304
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 1: but the whole story and the lying was so unnecessary.

1305
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have even cared if they went to a

1306
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 1: spicy dancer club because I trusted my wife. But this

1307
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,480
Speaker 1: story has made me lose trust, and now all the

1308
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:39,520
Speaker 1: others over the years is coming back to me and

1309
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 1: making me see things differently. Have I ever been loved?

1310
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 1: Is my wife capable of love? Did she cheat on me? Am?

1311
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 1: I the world's biggest fool? I love her and the

1312
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 1: family we have created. Obviously, there are so many positives

1313
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 1: in our relationship that I didn't list. But can all

1314
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 1: the positives in the world make up for this? How

1315
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 1: do you? How does one make up for this?

1316
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 2: You don't. I think this is a marriage that has failed,

1317
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 2: has been failing for a while, and I think, Oh,

1318
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 2: he's finally realizing, Wow, this isn't you know, this isn't okay?

1319
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:14,800
Speaker 2: And I think I think I want to encourage you

1320
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 2: to just not take that anymore and and know that, honestly,

1321
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 2: it's going to be best for your kids and you

1322
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 2: in the long run if you're in a healthier state

1323
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 2: of mind and not in this relationship, and she gets

1324
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:28,439
Speaker 2: to help she needs.

1325
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:31,520
Speaker 1: I've got to assume that this is sporadic.

1326
01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 2: I think so.

1327
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 1: I think it's not consistent. Yeah, I gotta assume No,

1328
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 1: I guess he said never. She's never complimented you. Yeah,

1329
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 1: she's only ever insulted you. That she doesn't like anything

1330
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 1: about you physically. That's really rough. I know she's gone

1331
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 1: through a lot and has like trauma and stuff in

1332
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:52,520
Speaker 1: her in her upbringing.

1333
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 2: But that just means that she's not ready for You know,

1334
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 2: she wasn't ready for a relationship when you started this.

1335
01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:00,080
Speaker 2: If she hasn't gone work through that, it's not your

1336
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 2: it's not your cross to bear. If she's not able

1337
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:05,840
Speaker 2: to be in a relationship, that's healthy.

1338
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think it's at the very least separation. Yeah,

1339
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:13,400
Speaker 1: I agree, And then like trying to maybe make it

1340
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:17,080
Speaker 1: work while not being together all the time. Yeah, But

1341
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 1: then realistically it's you're probably gonna find your piece from divorce. Brother.

1342
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: And there is an update. I had a lot of

1343
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 1: conversation with my wife. We've actually been apart all weekend.

1344
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 1: She sent me a long love bombing message which was

1345
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 1: very nice and said a lot of the right things.

1346
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:37,919
Speaker 1: But she's just talking. You know. That can be nice,

1347
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:42,000
Speaker 1: but until those words become consistent action, it's just a

1348
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 1: love bomb. Same story on her friend's bachelorette party. So

1349
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:48,280
Speaker 1: it's all kind of silly. That's it. That was the update.

1350
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 2: I hope that you leave her. I hope that you

1351
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 2: leave her.