WEBVTT - There Will Be No Dinner Guests

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<v Speaker 1>Why everyone stopped having someone over for dinner. It's one

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<v Speaker 1>more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Armstrong and Getty. One more thing.

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<v Speaker 1>The actual, the actual title of this article is why

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<v Speaker 1>Americans stopped throwing dinner parties. I, I would never call

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<v Speaker 1>having somebody over for dinner, a dinner party.

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<v Speaker 3>I just, why not?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>Just rub the dinner table.

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<v Speaker 4>If that's as a.

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<v Speaker 1>Name for an event, having somebody over for dinner. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe I just don't like the word party. Maybe that's it.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, people coming over to your house for dinner

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<v Speaker 1>has dropped off a cliff. The share of Americans who

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<v Speaker 1>regularly host friends or family at home has dropped sharply.

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<v Speaker 1>In 1975, I'm going to give this percentage in the

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<v Speaker 1>order Joe prefers, and he is correct. You need to

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<v Speaker 1>know what you're about to hear before you hear the number.

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<v Speaker 3>Finally, thank you. In 1975, um.

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<v Speaker 1>People who regularly hosted someone over to their house for

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<v Speaker 1>dinner was 42%. Now it's 12. That's a pretty big drop.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>What are the key reasons behind the decline? Would anybody

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<v Speaker 1>like to guess before I give their guesses? Because everybody's guessing,

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<v Speaker 1>of course.

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<v Speaker 3>People can't cook anymore?

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<v Speaker 1>People can't cook. That's a good one. I'd like you

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<v Speaker 1>to have a little coma to my house, but I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know how to cook anything. Well, what do you eat?

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<v Speaker 1>You eat something.

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<v Speaker 3>One way to pass the time and be interested is

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<v Speaker 3>to have people over back before we had unlimited entertainment

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<v Speaker 3>all the time. Katie, you were throwing something in, sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>I was just thinking political differences, maybe.

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<v Speaker 3>It's not a bad idea. It's probably a factor.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like any of you is my reason. Or

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<v Speaker 1>anyone else.

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<v Speaker 2>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>So Michael struck on something there. I'd like to know

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<v Speaker 1>what's the percentage of people that ate out regularly in

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<v Speaker 1>1975 versus 2006. So, you know, that's one thing that

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<v Speaker 1>kind of waters down the stat. We all know that

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<v Speaker 1>we eat out way more. I mean, it's not even

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<v Speaker 1>close to so much more than like mid-70s when I

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<v Speaker 1>was a kid. And if you're eating out with people,

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<v Speaker 1>that doesn't count as a, obviously having people over your

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<v Speaker 1>house for dinner, but it's a dinner party. So maybe

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of the slack is being picked up of

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<v Speaker 1>your meeting people at a restaurant.

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<v Speaker 2>But if you order takeout when you have people over,

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<v Speaker 2>get it catered.

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<v Speaker 1>Can you do that? Is that cool?

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I don't think you're right just because I'm

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<v Speaker 3>looking at, I dug into this, the study that they're

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<v Speaker 3>citing and it's changes in American social activity. And everything

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<v Speaker 3>has declined. Everything, including specifically went out to breakfast at

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<v Speaker 3>a restaurant with other people.

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<v Speaker 1>But we eat out more, but we're eating out alone.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, or with our families, our nuclear family.

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<v Speaker 1>So the last time I had someone over to my

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<v Speaker 1>house to eat, I haven't at all since I've been divorced.

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<v Speaker 1>And prior to that, I'm just guessing. Does it count

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<v Speaker 1>if you have like a family member in town? Or

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<v Speaker 1>does that not count?

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<v Speaker 3>No.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think that counts.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, really?

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<v Speaker 4>No?

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<v Speaker 2>No.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you don't count that, never. Not one time.

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<v Speaker 3>Like in your life?

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<v Speaker 1>In my life.

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<v Speaker 3>Or since?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh.

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<v Speaker 3>In your entire adult life?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think ever in my life.

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<v Speaker 3>All right. Well, this is like somebody who's never surfed

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<v Speaker 3>talking about surfing. Well, I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm reading a study here. I'm not trying to.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay. But I'll thank you to not comment in any form.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not trying to weigh in on the surfing. Don't

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<v Speaker 3>even hint at your opinion.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh.

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<v Speaker 3>You're not allowed to have one. One of them.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the explanations is what you hinted at. And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if this makes sense to me. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>I've never had people over for dinner. Modern streaming services,

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<v Speaker 1>television and short term videos such as TikTok offer instant

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<v Speaker 1>low effort comfort compared to the friction of planning a party.

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<v Speaker 1>Watching a screen requires no preparation, coordination or cleanup. Time

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<v Speaker 1>spent at home is increased by nearly two hours a

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<v Speaker 1>day since the early 2000s.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I like the word friction. It's not just,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, as a word, but that describes, like, all

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<v Speaker 3>of the things you need to overcome to make that happen.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe it would be, you know, the work involved. Maybe

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<v Speaker 3>it's this, do we invite the Joneses? You know, there

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<v Speaker 3>are a number of things that need to be overcome,

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<v Speaker 3>particularly if you're an introvert, to just make that sort

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<v Speaker 3>of thing happen. Friction just in general is a good word.

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<v Speaker 3>You want to hear something sad. Do you want to

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<v Speaker 3>be sad? I'm going to make you sad.

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<v Speaker 1>Hmm.

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<v Speaker 3>The percentage of Americans, now this is just between 1995

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<v Speaker 3>and 2026, okay? That is, according to my figures, roughly

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<v Speaker 3>30 years. Who went to a picnic declined from 58%

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<v Speaker 3>to 39%.

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<v Speaker 1>A picnic? A picnic. I need to define the terms.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that any eating outdoors? Do you have to have

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<v Speaker 1>a checkered colored blanket?

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<v Speaker 3>No, certainly not.

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<v Speaker 1>Wicker basket, is that necessary?

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<v Speaker 3>Now, again, the accoutrements are up to you. It's sharing

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<v Speaker 3>a meal out of doors, I believe.

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<v Speaker 1>If potato salad is not involved, is it still picnic?

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<v Speaker 3>No. Yes, it is. It's just a bad picnic.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a weak one, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I love potato salad. Yeah, weak-ass picnic. You call this picnic?

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<v Speaker 3>I'd upset the wicker basket and storm off.

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<v Speaker 1>My good friend, Ali Gator, always used to say, you

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<v Speaker 1>haven't had my grandma's potato dream. He would call it

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<v Speaker 1>potato salad. But, uh... One of the great things about

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<v Speaker 1>potato salad, besides being delicious, is they're always so different.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Each one is completely, it's like your personality.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like having your own personality, your potato salad.

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<v Speaker 3>You hip the German potato salad?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure I am, since I grew up around so

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<v Speaker 1>many Germans in Kansas.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, very different than your standard American potato salad. Love it,

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<v Speaker 3>love it, love it. There's hardly an American picnic food

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like. Highest grade, love. Hot dogs, hamburgers. potato salad,

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<v Speaker 3>macaroni salad, watermelon, you know, the various desserts, crumbles and

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<v Speaker 3>pies and cakes and ice cream and just the whole

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<v Speaker 3>experience is about as good as it gets, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>gustatorially speaking. Is that the right word? Eating-wise.

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<v Speaker 1>Gastronomically?

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<v Speaker 3>Gastronomically.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>But there's also Gusted something or other.

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<v Speaker 1>If you say so.

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<v Speaker 3>Gusted tutorial.

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<v Speaker 1>Katie, would you like to weigh in on the picnic

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<v Speaker 1>thing before we move on?

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<v Speaker 2>No, Joe just fired off my dad's favorite meal, though.

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<v Speaker 2>Hot dog, hamburger, potato salad, but you have to have

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<v Speaker 2>the barbecue chips.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never done that with the kids, and I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know why. My dad would, every once in a while,

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<v Speaker 1>we would get the stuff together.

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<v Speaker 4>Hamburgers and hamburger buns, and my mom would make potato

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<v Speaker 4>salad or whatever, and we would go to the state park,

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<v Speaker 4>and then we'd My dad would grill them on that

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<v Speaker 4>grill there that the county provides for you.

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<v Speaker 1>We'd play catch with the baseball, waiting for the briquettes

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<v Speaker 1>to get hot. And then we'd, you know, have our

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<v Speaker 1>little picnic at a picnic table. I don't think my

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<v Speaker 1>kids and I, we've never sat at a picnic table.

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<v Speaker 1>And I feel sad now. They're almost out of the house.

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<v Speaker 3>We are sad. I hope Mary in the Ho adds

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<v Speaker 3>this to your list of things you've never done.

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<v Speaker 1>I noticed this a couple of years ago when I

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<v Speaker 1>would take my kids to the park a lot when

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<v Speaker 1>they were little, just to play on the swing set

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff like that. The only people that used the

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<v Speaker 1>picnic tables and the grills that were there, Mexican families.

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<v Speaker 1>Big Mexican families would show up and they'd grill stuff

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<v Speaker 1>and still do the big family picnic thing. And I

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<v Speaker 1>always thought, that looks really cool, really charming.

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<v Speaker 4>Really nice.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder how come we don't do that. We white

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<v Speaker 1>people are, because we got our TikToks. Is that why?

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<v Speaker 1>Just requires some effort. Is that what holds me back?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know. That's part of it. Let's see. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>looking at this list. Went to a picnic, I mentioned.

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<v Speaker 3>Gave or attended a dinner. Party is down, you know, significantly.

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<v Speaker 3>Played cards with friends. Judy and I do that regularly.

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<v Speaker 3>To our credit, I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll check the to your credit box. Here's the saddest reason,

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<v Speaker 1>if this is true, according to The Atlantic. The performance

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<v Speaker 1>pressure because of social media. Platforms like Instagram have turned

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<v Speaker 1>casual gatherings into high-stakes visual performances, making many people feel

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<v Speaker 1>intimidated or pressured to make everything look perfect rather than

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<v Speaker 1>focusing on simple socializing. If the pictures wouldn't look good

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<v Speaker 1>enough for Instagram or TikTok or whatever. Right.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, I pay zero shits to that. I have none

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<v Speaker 3>to give. Sorry, Hanson. Somebody make a note for Hanson.

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<v Speaker 3>He's got to bleep that. But... our next door neighbors. She,

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, she is a brilliant entertainer. Like, hey, you

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<v Speaker 3>guys want to come by for a drink? You show up.

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<v Speaker 3>It would have taken me days of effort. Just beautifully prepared.

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<v Speaker 3>Snacks and hors d'oeuvres, got a themed drink, the rest

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<v Speaker 3>of it. It's wonderful. And it's a gesture of affection, neighborliness.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, it's great. And Her husband is a friend

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<v Speaker 3>and is a great dude. Love spending time with him.

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<v Speaker 3>But Judy and I are like, you know, we want

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<v Speaker 3>to invite maybe them over or the other neighbors. But

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<v Speaker 3>the standard's too damn high.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, the bar's too high.

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<v Speaker 3>We're not good at that stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel that in my soul. I have a friend

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<v Speaker 2>like that and she is, we call her Pinterest-y. She's

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<v Speaker 2>very Pinterest-y. Everything she does, there can be a Pinterest

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<v Speaker 2>board about it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a good term.

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<v Speaker 3>Again, not that the person in my life ever does that. No,

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<v Speaker 3>it's just about the experience. There's no Instagram account involved,

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<v Speaker 3>but I love that. Very Pinterest-y.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, we'd do the barbecued meatballs, but forget to

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<v Speaker 3>get toothpicks. Yeah. I mean, we're just not good at it.

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<v Speaker 2>Like a themed cocktail.

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<v Speaker 1>Go away.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't do that.

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<v Speaker 1>A themed cocktail.

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<v Speaker 2>I appreciate it.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's not that hard.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, but it's.

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<v Speaker 3>Just, ah, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt. Hello, guilt, my old friend.

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<v Speaker 1>I am not the right person to comment on this

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<v Speaker 1>for obvious reasons, but I will stand up for the,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>You've been disallowed, yes.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess I'll stand up for the, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>what percentage of people are like me, a tenth of 1%

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<v Speaker 1>or 1% or whatever it would be. I'm never going

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<v Speaker 1>to have anybody to my home to eat, and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to go to your home to eat under

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<v Speaker 1>any circumstances.

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<v Speaker 2>No.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, that'll save anybody any trouble. That's been noted. It's

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<v Speaker 3>a good deal.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm perfectly happy with that deal. And you're probably

0:10:49.970 --> 0:10:51.090
<v Speaker 1>happy with that deal, so we're all happy.

0:10:51.110 --> 0:10:51.870
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that sounds fair.

0:10:53.110 --> 0:10:55.510
<v Speaker 1>I'll stand up for that. Half of 1% maybe that

0:10:55.570 --> 0:10:56.650
<v Speaker 1>agrees with that.

0:10:57.510 --> 0:10:59.130
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you're one of the few people who saw this

0:10:59.170 --> 0:11:00.450
<v Speaker 3>chart and thought, good.

0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.500
<v Speaker 1>No, I think it's sad for America. I think it's

0:11:04.510 --> 0:11:07.420
<v Speaker 1>probably bad for culture. It's probably bad for society that

0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.880
<v Speaker 1>we're going that direction. Just fits with my, whatever my

0:11:11.059 --> 0:11:15.190
<v Speaker 1>unique problems are. Although, if you have potato salad, you

0:11:15.210 --> 0:11:16.990
<v Speaker 1>could lure me into your home with potato salad.

0:11:20.530 --> 0:11:22.930
<v Speaker 3>Some sort of potato salad fest where you have like

0:11:22.990 --> 0:11:25.170
<v Speaker 3>a rib cook-off, a chili cook-off, that sort of thing.

0:11:25.190 --> 0:11:26.250
<v Speaker 1>Grandma's potato dream.

0:11:31.590 --> 0:11:33.470
<v Speaker 3>I'll try it. What the hell? How bad can it be?

0:11:33.530 --> 0:11:34.010
<v Speaker 3>Give me some.

0:11:34.130 --> 0:11:36.790
<v Speaker 2>Just want to let you know, my friend made fried

0:11:37.250 --> 0:11:38.410
<v Speaker 2>potato salad balls.

0:11:39.020 --> 0:11:40.900
<v Speaker 3>Wait a minute. Wow.

0:11:41.059 --> 0:11:42.760
<v Speaker 1>I have no idea what that would be, but I'd

0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:44.640
<v Speaker 1>eat that right now. It was something.

0:11:44.660 --> 0:11:46.380
<v Speaker 3>I'd eat the hell out of that.

0:11:46.620 --> 0:11:48.500
<v Speaker 1>Did you hold it like an apple or use a fork?

0:11:49.420 --> 0:11:52.069
<v Speaker 2>It was like a little, just like a little appetizer.

0:11:52.350 --> 0:11:52.790
<v Speaker 1>Use your hand.

0:11:52.809 --> 0:11:55.130
<v Speaker 2>I guess if you were fancy, you could have had

0:11:55.150 --> 0:11:55.929
<v Speaker 2>little toothpicks.

0:11:56.590 --> 0:11:59.150
<v Speaker 3>You ever had like the fried Gouda balls?

0:11:59.410 --> 0:11:59.790
<v Speaker 2>Oh, yes.

0:12:00.390 --> 0:12:03.390
<v Speaker 3>Oh, my God. How good are those? Gouda.

0:12:03.670 --> 0:12:04.230
<v Speaker 2>That's how good.

0:12:04.710 --> 0:12:06.120
<v Speaker 3>That's very, very Gouda.

0:12:08.260 --> 0:12:10.980
<v Speaker 2>My wife and I, we invited an Italian family over

0:12:11.020 --> 0:12:13.560
<v Speaker 2>to my house, and we served Olive Garden takeout.

0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.760
<v Speaker 3>We haven't seen them in a long time. Sorry to

0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:17.180
<v Speaker 3>hear that.

0:12:18.059 --> 0:12:19.410
<v Speaker 1>Well, I guess that's it.