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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me.

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Speaker 2: You know it.

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Speaker 1: This podcast is all about the choices we make and

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Speaker 1: where they lead us. You know my guest today from

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Speaker 1: his roles in so many things, Rules of Engagement, Nashville,

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Speaker 1: Splitting Up Together, and I recently had the best conversation

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Speaker 1: with him over on his podcast that he co hosts

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Speaker 1: with his sister, Kate Hudson, sibling Revelry, and I just

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Speaker 1: think he's funny. He's self deprecating and completely unfiltered, which

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Speaker 1: I think is absolutely why I enjoy talking to him

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Speaker 1: so much. Please welcome Oliver Hudson to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Oh key dookey, Arta, chokey, are chokey? Here we all are.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I heard you just left the dentist. What happened?

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Speaker 1: Did your tooth? Thirty? Get it?

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Speaker 2: I had a root canal like a while back this

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Speaker 2: summer in Greece. I ate a caramel and it pulled

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Speaker 2: my whole tooth out, and so I have been existing

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Speaker 2: without a tooth.

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Speaker 1: For months and great which tooth?

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Speaker 2: Well, now you can see it. It's it was this. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was far back enough to where you don't notice it.

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Speaker 2: But you can also think that I could be like

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Speaker 2: a meth head or something like. Yeah, it could go

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Speaker 2: either way. I've done Drew Barrymore her show a few

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Speaker 2: times with the with the tooth out. But now I'm

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Speaker 2: doing this Netflix movie and it's like a Christmas movie

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Speaker 2: and I can't smile.

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Speaker 1: You need your teeth for a Christmas movie for sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm leaving shortly and I had to go

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Speaker 2: to go get it done.

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Speaker 1: Well good because it feels weird when you are missing

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Speaker 1: a tooth just in your head, in your mind. Ye wait,

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Speaker 1: something's wrong.

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Speaker 2: It does until it doesn't. Meaning if you're lazy like

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Speaker 2: I am, and you've you've had this missing tooth. Now

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Speaker 2: it feels strange to have a tooth in my mouth.

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Speaker 2: So I'm in the process of getting used to a

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Speaker 2: full a full head of teeth right now. Good.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad. I feel I feel like that's a good

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Speaker 1: thing all around.

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Speaker 2: Okay, not only not only that, but I'm I'm in

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Speaker 2: like stage dad hell, because I'm doing a show. I'm

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Speaker 2: doing a movie and my son auditioned for and he

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Speaker 2: did four or five auditions and he's never done anything yet.

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Speaker 2: He's been acting class for six weeks. He wants to

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Speaker 2: be in at weeks. Yeah, six weeks, and he ends

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Speaker 2: up getting this part and it's in Toronto. And it's

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Speaker 2: not a small little part. It please plays my son.

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Speaker 2: It's like throughout the whole movie. It's it's like a

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Speaker 2: big part.

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Speaker 1: It's oh my gosh, this is a big deal.

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Speaker 2: It's a big deal. But now I have to go

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Speaker 2: through all of the processes, processeds of being like a

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Speaker 2: stage dad. I can't DaPron him. I have to have

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Speaker 2: someone who's there. Apparently when he's not working, they have

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Speaker 2: to like be with him at the hotel, you know,

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Speaker 2: or the Airbnb. He's seventeen and extremely self sufficient, and

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Speaker 2: I kind of made a bit of a promise. I said, look,

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Speaker 2: I know he's not Canadian, I know he's under eighteen,

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Speaker 2: but you know, if you like him, I will help

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Speaker 2: cover some of the costs of the tutoring in this,

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Speaker 2: this and that. So I've just dug myself a hole

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Speaker 2: and now I am become something that I don't know

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Speaker 2: how to be, which is Yeah, it's tricky.

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Speaker 1: I did a movie with my daughter Luca once and

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Speaker 1: it was a weird feeling because you're like acting, and

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Speaker 1: you're in that mode and you're not in watching over

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Speaker 1: your kid mode or making sure that they're feeling like

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Speaker 1: they're doing a good job, or you know, supporting them

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Speaker 1: in the way they need to. It's tricky.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tricky. It's tricky. We're just right on the edge,

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Speaker 2: you know, because he's seventeen. I mean, he's almost mean.

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Speaker 2: He's almost completely legal, you know, so he's very self sufficient.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't really need someone to watch over him. I

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Speaker 2: understand their Netflix policies, not Canadian policies necessarily, but Netflix.

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Speaker 2: So it's me and Alicia Silverstone and Jamila Jamil. I

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Speaker 2: think that's how you pronounce it. Who's awesome. I just

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Speaker 2: talked with it and get named. Steve Carr is directing it,

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Speaker 2: and it's fun. It's really sweet, it's adorable. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's Christmas y. It's that kind of vanilla Christmas movie

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Speaker 2: that's you go and you do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I am ready for it. I love those movies.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I said, as long as I don't have to

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Speaker 2: take my shirt off, you know, dance on a pole

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Speaker 2: or something. Because a lot of these new Christmas movies

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Speaker 2: are like hot. Frost is one of them where they're

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Speaker 2: you know, the guy's like shirtless and chiseled and he's

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I mean, you know, Chad Michael Murray's

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Speaker 2: in one where he's like a dancing and some sort

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Speaker 2: of a tool belt with his shirt off. My I'm

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Speaker 2: forty eight, man, Like this is not going to look.

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Speaker 2: People will throw up if you're stop.

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Speaker 1: It, stop it you you I saw you posted something

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Speaker 1: on your Instagram where you were shirtless.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was probably expressing sort of how I need

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Speaker 2: I'm gone from an A cup to a B cup,

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Speaker 2: you know, and I need support in my.

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Speaker 1: Like literal yeah, support, yes, exactly.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm not afraid to be naked, but on

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Speaker 2: my own terms.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's all right. So first off, Oliver, that you

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Speaker 1: know our city right now, I know, and the fires.

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Speaker 1: How are you? How are your how's your family?

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Speaker 2: How are you good? Everyone's good? You know, my brother,

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Speaker 2: my brother's house, not why my other brother, Boston, his

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Speaker 2: house went he was living, you know, in sort of

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Speaker 2: that Tahitian Terrace mobile home community that went up. Everyone

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Speaker 2: else is okay, and you know, at the end of

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Speaker 2: the day, it's incredibly devastating. I mean, it's the city

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Speaker 2: that I grew up in the town honestly, the Palisades,

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Speaker 2: and it's just it's gone. I mean, it is completely gone.

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Speaker 2: And it's still surreal for me. I haven't gone and

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Speaker 2: looked at it personally, and I think that's when it

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Speaker 2: will even get even more real. But right now, it's

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Speaker 2: just unbelievably surreal. At the same time, thankful that everyone's safe,

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Speaker 2: you know, they're just things, but feel for so many people.

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Speaker 2: I can't tell you how many people I know who

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Speaker 2: don't have homes, Like that's how close it all is.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's unbelievable. I it's pushing one hundred people,

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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, Like, it's just it's crazy.

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Speaker 2: It's just crazy, and everyone wants to move out of town.

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Speaker 2: And I'm trying to figure out air quality. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, there's things to sort of figure out. But

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Speaker 2: you were you were You're not close, right.

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Speaker 1: We were evacuated or you were we were closer to

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Speaker 1: the eating fire?

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Speaker 2: Right? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, very scary.

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Speaker 2: It's scary. It was scary, you know. I got to

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Speaker 2: say though, and I'm only just speaking just me personally,

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Speaker 2: and I was lucky enough that the house is still standing,

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Speaker 2: but I'm not really attached to things so much. You know,

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Speaker 2: my family obviously, like my possessions are kind of like yah,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Were you like that before this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure without a doubt.

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Speaker 2: You know. It's like, oh, if something goes away, or

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Speaker 2: if something is low us or you know, I'm like, oh, okay.

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Speaker 2: You know. I wear this bracelet that the Dalai Lama

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Speaker 2: gave me when I was nineteen years old, and it's

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Speaker 2: been lost a thousand times and it has come back

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Speaker 2: to me in one way or another, and these are

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Speaker 2: this is something that is a really prized possession of

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Speaker 2: mine because he blessed it and I met him in

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Speaker 2: Dharmsala and it was an incredible moment and I was

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Speaker 2: crying and feeling things and I was nineteen and trying

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Speaker 2: to figure out my life out at the same time.

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Speaker 2: When it goes, it just goes, and was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: you know, I mean, it's probably one of my most

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Speaker 2: prize possessions, but I just kind of let it go.

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Speaker 2: What are you going to do about it? You know? Right,

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Speaker 2: So at the same time, I have yet to experience

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Speaker 2: anything that is devastating is obviously losing your entire home,

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Speaker 2: but the feeling wasn't fear of losing my house. It

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Speaker 2: was more of just getting everyone to a safe place,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but it was crazy.

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Speaker 2: It is it is crazy, so yeah, think about it. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: got a sight out of mind.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I was just saying in the

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Speaker 1: intro that I was just on your podcast. If you

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Speaker 1: guys haven't listened to it, you got to listen to

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Speaker 1: it because we had great talk. We talked about ghosts

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Speaker 1: and cemeteries and all the emotions involved. It was really

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Speaker 1: good talk. But I have to ask you since our conversation,

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Speaker 1: have you looked in the mirror and said I love you?

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Speaker 1: Remember we talked about that.

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Speaker 2: Yes, It's so funny because I did a podcast today

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Speaker 2: and I do these little rants, you know, and other

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Speaker 2: than what we did, and it was all half of

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Speaker 2: it was about that. It's funny you're even asking me.

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Speaker 2: It was about looking in the mirror, getting up, saying

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Speaker 2: I love you, You're the best, getting and then and

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Speaker 2: then you know, saying this is going to be the

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Speaker 2: greatest day. It's going to be the greatest day, even

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Speaker 2: if it's not the greatest day, you know, so I

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Speaker 2: was just talking about this. The answer is yes, and no,

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Speaker 2: am I looking in the mirror. No, I don't like

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Speaker 2: to look in the mirror generally. Why not.

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Speaker 1: You're a beautiful man, Like why wouldn't you want to

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Speaker 1: look at yourself in the mirror just to say I

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Speaker 1: love you?

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Speaker 2: Not to be like whoa, yeah, I love you. But

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Speaker 2: then you say I love you, and all of a

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Speaker 2: sudden you start to get critical, you know, and you're

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Speaker 2: looking in Oh my god, I'm getting old and you

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Speaker 2: see this and you see that, and then I'm puffy

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Speaker 2: and what about this I? And how come this eye

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Speaker 2: is higher than this I? You know, I get a

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Speaker 2: little you know, you get a little nuts. But no,

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Speaker 2: I need I need to do that more more.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, you don't have to look in the mirror.

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Speaker 2: You could just it's still positive. I'm still a positive

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Speaker 2: affirmations trying.

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Speaker 1: You're doing it? Okay, Yes, that's good. That's that's all.

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Speaker 1: That's growth right there, Yes, it is.

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Speaker 2: It is growth. And you know, this new experience with

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Speaker 2: my son and having this moment, which to me is

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Speaker 2: almost like a deathbed moment. You know, it's bucketless beyond

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Speaker 2: like work with your son. You've experienced it us living

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Speaker 2: in Toronto for six weeks in the same place. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's just very, very exciting to me. Yeah, it is

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Speaker 2: so I love that. I feel lucky, definitely feel lucky,

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Speaker 2: especially now, very lucky.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. I think when you when you start

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Speaker 1: doing the practice looking at yourself in the eye and

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Speaker 1: saying you love yourself, I think you just have to

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Speaker 1: shut up those voices of like, oh look at my

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Speaker 1: eyes lower than the other one, Like You've got to

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Speaker 1: just disallow it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, now, it's true. It is true. We are highly

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Speaker 2: critical of ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Are you a journal er, Yes, you do journal.

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Speaker 2: I used to journal like a madman, and now it's

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Speaker 2: every once in a while, you know. But I try

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Speaker 2: to do my you know again, my gratitudes every day.

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Speaker 2: And I think we talked about this, but the problem

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Speaker 2: is my gratitudes like I do ten of them and

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Speaker 2: they seem to be the same every day. So now

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to I'm almost out of my head. I'm

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Speaker 2: in my head now. Well, I've already done the ocean,

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Speaker 2: and I've done love for the kids, and I've done

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Speaker 2: that a thousand times, Like what else you know? Now,

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Speaker 2: I'm wrap my brain around, like, Okay, is there anything else?

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Speaker 2: And I'm grateful for it can't be the same shit

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Speaker 2: every day? But yeah, but it can?

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Speaker 1: Why not?

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Speaker 2: It can? It? Can? I hear it?

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Speaker 1: You you get a little bored. Yeah, yeah, with your journaling.

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Speaker 2: You know this year for you know, New Year's Resolution, Right,

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Speaker 2: We have an amazing New Year's Eve party every year

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Speaker 2: in Colorado and we invite a ton of people over

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Speaker 2: and we tentt it and we have music and it's

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Speaker 2: really fun and we build this like twenty five foot

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Speaker 2: bonfire and it's huge. I mean it's massive, and everyone's

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Speaker 2: out there. At New Year's they do the countdown. And

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Speaker 2: the ideas is that you write your resolutions. You know,

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Speaker 2: you have your resolutions, but you also have the things

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Speaker 2: that you want to get rid of. You know. You

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Speaker 2: put them in the fire and you watch them go

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Speaker 2: up and smoke, and it's just it's very ritualistic, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I every year I write sort of my my

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Speaker 2: resolutions in a journal since like nineteen ninety eight, and

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Speaker 2: I went back and looked at my journals, like this

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Speaker 2: last year and every resolution they're all the same, and

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Speaker 2: they've been the same since nineteen ninety eight. I'm making

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Speaker 2: no progress, is what I'm trying to say. I don't

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Speaker 2: understand it. It's the same shit. It was the same resolutions.

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Speaker 2: So this year I said, you know what, I'm not

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Speaker 2: doing any resolutions. Okay, I'm just going to be free,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm just going to be free of sort

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Speaker 2: of trying to attach myself to things that I want

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Speaker 2: to change and accomplish. Because it's been twenty five years

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Speaker 2: and I have the same resolutions, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, maybe it's time to just let them go

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Speaker 1: and give it up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah to the the part journaling goes. I was heavy,

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Speaker 2: heavy into it. It's gotten me through a ton of stuff.

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Speaker 1: So you still have all your old journals like I

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Speaker 1: do too. Yeah, when you go back and read them,

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Speaker 1: are you like, wait, is who is this person? How

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Speaker 1: could I have been in this at this point in

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Speaker 1: my life? And maybe you think and I'm still at

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Speaker 1: this point?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, Well, I mean, I you know, I don't

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Speaker 2: know if we talked about sort of my anxiety, dealing

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Speaker 2: with heavy anxiety back in my twenties and stuff, and

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Speaker 2: you know that that meditation and journaling when I went

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Speaker 2: through my first about my twenties is what got me

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Speaker 2: through so much. And I would hike up to the

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Speaker 2: spot and I had this rock that I would sit

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Speaker 2: on and I would have a meditation and then just write,

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Speaker 2: and I write poetry, I write what I was feeling

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Speaker 2: or anything. And it definitely, it definitely was I needed

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Speaker 2: that in order to sort of get through whatever I

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Speaker 2: was getting through, along with therapy and everything else. But

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Speaker 2: you know, my time involved getting my feelings out through

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Speaker 2: the written word. And you know, for me, it's much

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Speaker 2: easier to express myself through writing than it is actual,

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Speaker 2: you know, verbal communication, because I feel strangely insecure being

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Speaker 2: vulnerable in person, but I'm very easily vulnerable with a

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Speaker 2: pen and writing. How writing sort of my feelings.

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Speaker 1: You know, what do you feel about like podcasting because

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Speaker 1: you seem like you can get pretty real and yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, without a doubt.

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Speaker 1: Is that different? Like I was just talking about this

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Speaker 1: to someone else, like podcasting is a different way you

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Speaker 1: meet somebody but you're not in person, but you have

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Speaker 1: these great connections with them. But there's something that doesn't

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Speaker 1: You don't have that anxiety, because I know you and

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Speaker 1: I suffer both from anxiety. You don't have that anxious

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Speaker 1: feeling of like being in person with them.

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Speaker 2: No oh yeah, I mean the minute you have like

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Speaker 2: a microphone in front of your face or or you know.

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Speaker 2: There's something about it and it's hard to even explain,

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Speaker 2: because I can honestly say that it's even opened up

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Speaker 2: my relationship with my sister because there are certain things

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Speaker 2: that I may have one of us. I've said to her,

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Speaker 2: positive and negative, but I haven't been able to because

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Speaker 2: you either don't want to rock the boat or you

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Speaker 2: don't want to feel too vulnerable. But the minute the

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Speaker 2: microphone goes up, for some strange reason, with Kate, I'm

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Speaker 2: able to sort of express myself to her better. I

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Speaker 2: don't know why. It's this weird thing that overcomes me

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Speaker 2: where I feel a confidence to say, either you know,

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Speaker 2: I've always respected you and loved you and looked up

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Speaker 2: to you, even though you're my little sister, which is

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Speaker 2: not easy to say in person, or it's in person

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Speaker 2: but without the microphone, or you know, I feel like

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Speaker 2: you've been condescending to me at times because of whatever.

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Speaker 2: You know, When that mic is there, it's easier to

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Speaker 2: say it. If we push, we push stop and we're

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Speaker 2: not longer recording, I would be harder for me to express.

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Speaker 1: Myny you just stop talking.

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Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever worry if somebody's going to read your journals?

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Speaker 2: Though? No, honestly because I don't have like deep dark

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Speaker 2: secrets in there. You know. It's more about my feelings

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Speaker 2: and sort of what I'm going.

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Speaker 1: Through and nothing like I buried.

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Speaker 2: It's. Well, the funny thing is this journaling for me?

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Speaker 2: You know, And I've always I've said this to myself.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm always journaling when I'm going through something,

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Speaker 2: and I'm not journaling when things are good. So every

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Speaker 2: entry has some sort of you know, negative attachment to

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Speaker 2: it or something I'm trying to work through. It's never like,

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Speaker 2: you know, it was an incredible day to day, I

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Speaker 2: feel amazing, life is great? Like, who wants to journal

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Speaker 2: about that shit?

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Speaker 1: I know I've read my entries that are like that.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, next, so bored with myself? I need

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Speaker 1: the drama.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, yeah, oh for sure. You know I think

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Speaker 2: that's the arcis. But I would I would venture to

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Speaker 2: say that, you know, writing all the positive things and

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Speaker 2: the good things in your life is probably more beneficial

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Speaker 2: than even even getting rid of all the bad. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's like what you said, going back to looking in

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Speaker 2: the mirror. You know, we need those self positive affirmations.

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Speaker 2: So maybe I'll start writing more positive entries. But you

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Speaker 2: know what I love doing with stream of consciousness. Writing

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Speaker 2: was one of my favorite things to do.

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Speaker 1: Oh it was so fun. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Ah, well, you just do and don't pick up the pen,

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Speaker 2: and you just keep going and it could be complete horseshit.

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Speaker 2: But then all of a sudden things come out and

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Speaker 2: I've read some of those back while I'm like, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I'm rarely impressed with myself, but I'm like, damn, Oliver,

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Speaker 2: like that was pretty good. You got deep. I got

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Speaker 2: deep and not even knowing what I was doing.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to try that again because I

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Speaker 1: kind of have fallen in and out of the journaling

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Speaker 1: thing too, And I do feel better when I do it.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've gotten the stuff off of my

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Speaker 1: my brain, out of my mind, off my chest in

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Speaker 1: a really safe way. But yeah, it's sort of like

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Speaker 1: meditating too, Like it you go in, you come off

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Speaker 1: of it sometimes and just need a little break.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Well, the meditating is as far as

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Speaker 2: time consumption is probably the easiest thing you can do

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Speaker 2: in your day, Yet for some crazy reason, it's the

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Speaker 2: hardest thing for me to do and sit down for

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Speaker 2: ten minutes. I don't, I don't. I have so much

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Speaker 2: resistance to it. And I have had moments in my

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Speaker 2: life where meditation again was bringing me through a lot

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Speaker 2: of stuff. And it's a practice, obviously, So once you practice,

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Speaker 2: once you get through two weeks like solid you're in,

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Speaker 2: then it's like, oh, I got it.

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Speaker 1: I want to do it like you have yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh gosh, because it feels incredible when

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Speaker 2: you can like actually drop in. But once you let

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Speaker 2: it go, it's just like I got to sit down

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Speaker 2: for ten minutes, and I am I doing.

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Speaker 1: It's so true. Speaking of the anxiety you used to journal,

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Speaker 1: you resist meditating, Like what is it that you do

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Speaker 1: on a daily, weekly basis to help you with your anxiety.

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Speaker 2: I'm just aware of it, you know, when it when

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Speaker 2: it rears its head, I'm just kind of aware of it.

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Speaker 2: And I'm almost like a seasoned vet, meaning it doesn't

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Speaker 2: scare me anymore like you scare me, you know. I

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Speaker 2: know when I'm feeling it, I'm like, oh, shit, there

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Speaker 2: it is. Okay, now why Okay I can, I can,

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Speaker 2: I can try to assess why, or I can say,

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Speaker 2: you know, it doesn't matter, I'm feeling it right now

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Speaker 2: and just accept it and let it. Let just feel it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's something so relieving about just acknowledging something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because we want to diagnose ourselves. Okay, wait a minute,

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Speaker 2: what's going on? Okay, what happened to my day to day? Okay,

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Speaker 2: maybe this isn't it. It's like, okay, yeah, you can

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Speaker 2: do that, but is that really going to help you

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Speaker 2: in the moment or or is it best to say

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Speaker 2: I don't know right now, here's what I feel, and

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Speaker 2: let yourself feel it. And you're not going to die

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Speaker 2: like back in the day when you thought you were

396
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Speaker 2: literally going to drop dead. You know that's not going

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Speaker 2: to happen. You know, you are not your anxiety. You

398
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Speaker 2: are feeling it, but this isn't who you are, and

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Speaker 2: just to try to separate yourself from it.

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Speaker 1: Oliver, We've learned so much, I say, we I feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know, exercise, yes, exercise yes, yes, So that is

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Speaker 1: that something that's getting you helping you?

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Speaker 2: Now what do you EXI run? You know, running and

404
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Speaker 2: you know, I'm doing a.

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Speaker 1: Little wait you run like outside?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm not like a crazy run,

407
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Speaker 2: run like you know, a few miles. You know, when

408
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Speaker 2: I do my runs, that's impressive. You know I'm doing

409
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Speaker 2: I'm doing a little pilates now.

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Speaker 1: Whoa yeah, yeah, do you have the socks too, I.

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Speaker 2: Have the socks. I have the sock. And then for me,

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Speaker 2: it's also just about the anxiety. It's about just it's

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Speaker 2: health related to when when when you're waking up and

414
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Speaker 2: you're you're you're getting great sleep and you're eating properly

415
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Speaker 2: and you're working out, and you're not drinking booze, you know,

416
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Speaker 2: and you're not smoking cigarettes or doing whatever. I mean,

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Speaker 2: you just feel on top of the world, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. It's huge. The minute I fall back

419
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Speaker 2: into sort of that party that party guide mode where

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh man, it exacerbates that anxiety.

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Speaker 1: And it gets harder and harder as you get older. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: so like rebounder the next day, feel good in any way?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but that's rough. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So we all do, we all change so much, We

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Speaker 1: have all these different chapters in our life. What would

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Speaker 1: you say is your chapter right now, Like what era

427
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Speaker 1: is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 2: In right now? This is a good question. I love

429
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Speaker 2: this question because I've never really had to answer it,

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Speaker 2: you know, because we do find ourselves in these moments

431
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 2: and you have to sort of step back and again

432
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:10,919
Speaker 2: assess yourself, Like where am I right now? I feel like,

433
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 2: at almost the age of fifty, that I am probably

434
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 2: in the most creative space in my life, probably the

435
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 2: most confident space in my life, even though I definitely

436
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 2: have my crazy insecurities. I think as I get older,

437
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 2: I just stop giving a fuck, you know, I mean,

438
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 2: stop airing as much trying to, you know, impress or

439
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 2: feel like I'm less than when I'm speaking to executives

440
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,440
Speaker 2: or I'm pitching an idea. You know, I'm like, these

441
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 2: are just human beings. I'm not going to do it

442
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 2: by the book. I'm going to do it my way.

443
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,439
Speaker 2: You know. If I want to call the head of

444
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 2: the studio, you know, I'm going to call I'm gonna

445
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 2: call them. Oh, maybe you should go through the channels. Nah,

446
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 2: it gives it. He's a human. These are human beings,

447
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 2: you know. As far as being an actor too, I

448
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,880
Speaker 2: just I'm excited for what the second half of my

449
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 2: life holds, just because of the confidence level of the again,

450
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: the attitude of like, you know what, just go for it.

451
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: What have you got to lose?

452
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 2: What have you got to lose? Honestly, like that is

453
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 2: that is definitely sort of the period that I'm in.

454
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,639
Speaker 2: And my company, my production company is called slow burn,

455
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,719
Speaker 2: you know, because that's what I am and that's what

456
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 2: I feel like I've always been, is this kind of

457
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 2: slow burn. You know my sister do you mean, well,

458
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 2: my sister hit it white hot, right, I mean, he

459
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 2: got almost famous, nominated for Golden Globes boom. You know,

460
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 2: my younger brother, Wyatt, you know, worked hard, but bang

461
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 2: it takes off like this that this everything in my

462
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 2: life has just been sort of slower paced, slower moving,

463
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 2: I mean not just career like everything, you know, even maturity.

464
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 2: Why still you.

465
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: Think you were in your own way like you do?

466
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,159
Speaker 1: Do you think that was the reason you were a

467
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: slow burner?

468
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 2: Yeah? I do. I think part of it was that,

469
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 2: and part of it is my personality, you know. I

470
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,479
Speaker 2: mean I feel like I'm a very talented person. I

471
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 2: have a lot of like ambition, I just don't have drive,

472
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 2: you know, if that makes sense, like, oh, I want

473
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 2: to do this. I know I can do this, and

474
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: I'll probably win an Academy Award as a director because

475
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 2: that's what I really want to do. And I know

476
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 2: I can write, and I start discript and then I

477
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 2: just kind of like it peters off.

478
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 1: And I know exactly what you're talking about.

479
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: Put fun and family in front of everything, you know.

480
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 2: That's the other thing we talk about, sort of that

481
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 2: deathbed scenario or I Am not going to remember awards

482
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 2: and fame and any of that shit. I mean at all.

483
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 2: That does not define me in any way. I would

484
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 2: rather take a trip with my family and pass on

485
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 2: a movie that could advance my career, you know, rather

486
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 2: than miss whatever those moments might hold that I will

487
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 2: remember for the rest of my life, you know. And

488
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 2: That's the way I've operated, and I don't I don't

489
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 2: hate it. At the same time, I think that it

490
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 2: has created this slower pace for.

491
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 1: Me, and I think I think that's okay because look

492
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:29,920
Speaker 1: at you now, like you're turning into white hot now,

493
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 1: Like I feel like you feel it in your bones,

494
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 1: like you have arrived, you know, for yourself.

495
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,720
Speaker 2: So there's definitely energy there for me, there's a weird momentum.

496
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 2: I don't know why. I can't put my finger on

497
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 2: it necessarily, but it just feels good, you know, it

498
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 2: just feels good. And it's just kind of, you know,

499
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: just kind of letting go but working harder. Honestly, for me,

500
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 2: it's work ethic. I have to work harder, you know.

501
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 2: And that's my new phase. That's the new sort of

502
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: era that I want to into, which is still have

503
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: family as a priority, but you know, work your ass

504
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 2: off more. You know.

505
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. I saw that happen for me when I turned

506
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: fifty fifty one and I realized, like, as a woman

507
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: in this industry, I was like, I I feel as

508
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 1: if I might choose to have a shelf life, I

509
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: might choose to get the hell out of town at

510
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 1: some point because I just don't want it for myself.

511
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: I didn't. I haven't really enjoyed it, that the fame

512
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: and all of that of it. So I want to

513
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 1: be able to leave town, get out at age sixty.

514
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I got to do as much as

515
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 1: I can. Yeah, while I can do it, Yeah, no.

516
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 2: For sure. And there's so many different other things to experience, like,

517
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 2: you know, even the podcast. It's been so fun. Yeah,

518
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 2: no talking.

519
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 1: You've had probably so much growth from doing the podcast.

520
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 2: I know I have, oh yeah, oh oh for sure.

521
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 2: And the people that you meet and the stories that

522
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 2: you hear. And my favorite thing about doing podcasts is

523
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 2: getting a guest you don't know much about and you're

524
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: kind of like poop poo it in a way, You're like, god,

525
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 2: I mean, because we all have to fill it either

526
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 2: a lot of episodes that have to get done, and

527
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 2: oh man, it's so and so I don't even know.

528
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 2: And then after an hour you're like, wow, that was amazing.

529
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 2: That was incredible talking to this person who I didn't

530
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 2: really know and maybe had a preconceived idea of and

531
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 2: then that all shifts, you know, and then doing the

532
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 2: Drew Drew Show, you know, going on there and being

533
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,959
Speaker 2: a part of that kind of world. You know, I'm

534
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 2: leaving tomorrow to do another one. That's been really really

535
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 2: fun as well.

536
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 1: You know, that's a fun environment.

537
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,880
Speaker 2: Fun, it's fun, and it's not dissimilar to what we're

538
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 2: doing right now.

539
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: It's just on kids talking talking, Yeah, just being humans.

540
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: So cool.

541
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

542
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: I have to ask you, okay, because I know you

543
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: have two sons. Yeah, do you feel like there is

544
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: a rise in sort of this masculine world right now

545
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: with you know, some certain podcasters, our government, There's a

546
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 1: lot more masculinity coming. I'm just curious, like, as a guy,

547
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 1: as a dad of boys, how do you raise them

548
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 1: to be decent human beings and have that level of

549
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 1: understanding and educating them to you know, the right way

550
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: to behave out there in the world.

551
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that there's a few different There's there's

552
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 2: there are lessons that you teach, and then there is

553
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 2: just being who you are because at the end of

554
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 2: the day, those lessons matter. But I feel like our

555
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 2: kids are emulating us more than learning from us. As

556
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: far as specific lessons go. Yes, you can lecture them

557
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 2: on certain you know, ideas and certain things that you

558
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 2: might believe, at the same time allowing them the space

559
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 2: to have their own opinions and feelings. But at the

560
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 2: end of the day, when you're living in a healthy

561
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 2: you know family, they see you all the time and

562
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 2: they're there are imprint You're imprinting upon them. Whether I'll

563
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 2: just completely unconsciously, you know, consciously and unconsciously. As the

564
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 2: boys get older, you get to see more of yourself

565
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 2: in them, which is so interesting. You're like, wow, they

566
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 2: they are were listening or they were taking on a

567
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 2: lot of who I am. So I think that's a

568
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 2: big that's a big thing. At the same time, you know,

569
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 2: you can only show them and tell them so much

570
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: and help them with so many things. At some point

571
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 2: they're they're gonna have to make their own decisions, you know.

572
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 2: As far as this sort of masculine world, I think

573
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 2: there's a way to be masculine, but to also sort

574
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: of be sensitive and thoughtful and vulnerable. I mean, vulnerability

575
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 2: to me is masculine. Now, you know, I think twitched

576
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 2: whereas the soft man is not the strong man. And

577
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: I couldn't disagree with that more, you know. And I

578
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: think that my kids, at least hopefully they see me

579
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 2: being like that, because I'm no different with them than

580
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 2: I am with anyone else. And you watch them and

581
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 2: how they deal with people, and you know, how they

582
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 2: look you in the they look them in the eye,

583
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: and they're polite and all of these things, and you

584
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 2: watch that translate and it's the most proud that you

585
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 2: are when your kids, when you get praise from on

586
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 2: your kids, like oh man, your kids are so great, You're.

587
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: Like, it's degraded, my work is done. Yes, it's the

588
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: best feeling. I say that too, because my sometimes, my

589
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 1: one mostly one, my daughters can be real hard at home,

590
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: real hard on me specifically, and then I get these

591
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: messages from her teachers or her friend's moms and I

592
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: and they're like, she's such a great Like really.

593
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 2: Why don't you come home with me? And day?

594
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: I know, I'm always like, why don't you aviote your

595
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: friends over more often? Because you're a lot different when they're.

596
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, now I know. And then you know, as far

597
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 2: as the boy thing goes, I mean again, I know

598
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 2: a lot of their friends, a lot of them. You know,

599
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 2: they all try to flex, They all try to be cool,

600
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 2: they all try to feel masculine, you know what I mean.

601
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: I think do you think in that flexing though, are

602
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: we in danger of losing that the sort of respect

603
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:46,479
Speaker 1: for women and the chivalrous sort of mask, because like,

604
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: I love a guy that opens the door for me,

605
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: of course, yeah, but I'm not. I know, I can

606
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: open the door for myself.

607
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well that's the thing is I hopefully am showing

608
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 2: them that, you know what I mean? Then I I

609
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 2: I do house. Shit, I did this. I'm with mom,

610
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 2: I open up the door, like there's so much love,

611
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 2: like and we're very physical, like I'm always on hugging

612
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 2: Aaron and kissing and then no, no, no, you know, these

613
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 2: are the things that hopefully they see and want to emulate,

614
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 2: you know. I also think, but you know, you're dealing

615
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: with primal beings as well. And boys. Boys, you know,

616
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 2: boys are sometimes crazy, you know, and watching boy my

617
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 2: boys grew up versus my daughter and then my nephews

618
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 2: who are young, you know, like boys and girls, and

619
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: some of these boys, just like my nephews, were crazy,

620
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 2: running around, crazy, crazy, crazy shit, you know. So it's

621
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 2: just about directing it. And then you've got TikTok and

622
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 2: social media, which is feeding them all kinds of horseshit.

623
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 2: And that's when my kids like, dad, did you know

624
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 2: that pyramids? I'm like, you, guys, this is not true,

625
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, like quiet, because they're getting

626
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 2: fed so much of this misinformation. I'm like, you need

627
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 2: to learn to sift this shit out, you know what

628
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: I mean. I tell them that you guys are nuts.

629
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 2: Go read something, you know, just scroll and believe everything

630
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 2: that that's going on there.

631
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: Wait, do you read?

632
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 2: Yeah? I like to read. I definitely try to again.

633
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 2: That's the thing that I want to do more and

634
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 2: more of eight thousand books by my bedside, because every

635
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 2: time I go into a bookstore, I buy a new book.

636
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:27,919
Speaker 1: What kind of books do you buy? Oh gosh, my self,

637
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: I love books.

638
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 2: I have self help. I've done all, I've done that.

639
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 2: I just read a book that's this rare it's sort

640
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 2: of this rare sort of book. It was it's called

641
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 2: Hard Rainfalls by an author that's kind of obscure, but

642
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: I heard it on Instagram and fucking amazing. I tend

643
00:34:55,120 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 2: to gravitate towards, you know, sort of woman struggle, strangely

644
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 2: adversity and maybe overcoming it or or not. You know,

645
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 2: but just like tough times.

646
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: That in itself is sort of like self help because yeah,

647
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: you're you're like familiar with those feelings that that character

648
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 1: is going through and they learn something and you're like, hey, yeah,

649
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 1: that works for me, yeah.

650
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know, right now,

651
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 2: I'm actually reading Jerry Wine Robb's book, which is amazing.

652
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: What's the title of it.

653
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, it's Yeah, this autobiography and it's got to

654
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 2: forget the exact name of it. But he's just such

655
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 2: an amazing, interesting career. You know, for those of you

656
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: who don't know, Jerry wintrub was like was if he

657
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 2: passed away. It was like a titan of industry as

658
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: far as being a producer, but also was in the

659
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 2: music scene, you know, with Bob Dylan, and I mean

660
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 2: he was just an amazing man growing up in Brooklyn,

661
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 2: the Bronx and just coming out of nothing, and yeah,

662
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: pretty cool story. I try to read. I just try to.

663
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: I try to. I need to read more. I need

664
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 2: to read more. Yeah.

665
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 1: I heard recently that if you read twenty minutes a day,

666
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 1: it helps sort of reset something in your brain. And

667
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 1: it makes perfect sense because I'm sure you're familiar with

668
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: like EMDR therapy where your eyes go back and forth.

669
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 2: Have you done that?

670
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

671
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 2: Is it great? I was thinking about it.

672
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: It's you feel like ridiculous because you're just sitting there

673
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,840
Speaker 1: watching a light bar and keep keeping your focus on

674
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: the lights. But there's something about the back and forth

675
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 1: of your eyeballs that changes something connection wise in your brain,

676
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 1: and it really does like open up some space in there.

677
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: You feel you feel that.

678
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 1: Yes, definitely. So I heard that reading can have that

679
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: same effect. So I've been trying to read twenty minutes

680
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:51,359
Speaker 1: a day.

681
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 2: That's what they say. Nothing but read anything. It doesn't matter.

682
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: You can read anything. It's reading the eyeballs back and forth.

683
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,760
Speaker 2: So it can be on a screen or like book

684
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 2: or does it matter because.

685
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 1: I like, I'm going to go with book because we

686
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 1: got enough screen time. No, I know, we shut it down.

687
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 2: I need a book. My mom. My mom is all

688
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 2: about the Kindle. She reads everything on a like I

689
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 2: can't I need like A can't. No. I love the

690
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 2: physical book.

691
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: And the pages and the smell.

692
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. And going back to kids, here's the look. We've

693
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 2: been very lenient parents as far as letting our kids

694
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 2: experience what life is now, you know, obviously trying to

695
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 2: you know, balance it all out, because balance is everything.

696
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 2: I'm never going to take them away from social media.

697
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 2: Like this is the world that we live in. And

698
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 2: this is just my own philosophies where a lot of

699
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 2: my other friends sort of are very strict about things.

700
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 2: And I've sometimes seen kids who are not allowed to

701
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,479
Speaker 2: experience anything, whether it be sugar at a young age,

702
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,879
Speaker 2: whether it be, you know, TikTok or whatever it is.

703
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 2: They crave it and it almost because an obsession because

704
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 2: they can't have it. If I ever saw that my

705
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 2: kids were going off the deep end with anything, yes,

706
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: but right now everything seems to be okay. But reading

707
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:14,919
Speaker 2: is just gone. Kids don't fucking read anymore. And it's

708
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 2: the most you do not light up your imagination more

709
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 2: than when you read a book. I don't care what

710
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: you watch, I don't care anything. I don't care about it,

711
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 2: a movie, anything. When you get into a book and

712
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 2: you are ensconced in those words, your imagination is firing.

713
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 2: You're picturing it, you're wondering, you're feeling. I wish that

714
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: that would come back. I wish kids would read more.

715
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,879
Speaker 2: I tried. I'm like, read a book and I'm like what,

716
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 2: it's not even there, you know. And in school these days,

717
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 2: they're not being made to read like we were made

718
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 2: to read.

719
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:54,879
Speaker 1: No, they're reading on iPads. They're yeah, so different. I'm

720
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: of the same mind of as you too. I think

721
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,880
Speaker 1: I probably appear very lenient as a parent, but also

722
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,280
Speaker 1: I'm so on top of it. But I do agree,

723
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: like you've got to let them experience and figure out

724
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,760
Speaker 1: how to exist in this current world instead of holding

725
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: onto the morals and values that we had or like

726
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: what we spent our time doing when we were younger.

727
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 1: Thingse are just different, and you need to make sure

728
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: that your kids are able to thrive with what they

729
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: have right now.

730
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:28,839
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, without a doubt, and also understanding that it's

731
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 2: not real and they're a major pitfalls. And you know,

732
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 2: don't believe everything that you see, you know what I'm saying, Like,

733
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 2: if you're curious about something you might see on TikTok,

734
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 2: don't take it at face value. How about google it,

735
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 2: dig in a little bit, you know, maybe see what

736
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 2: you're reading is actually true or if it's just you know,

737
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 2: complete misinformation and false, especially with AI, which I've completely resisted,

738
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 2: by the way.

739
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you see, I.

740
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 2: I need to and I want to, and my sister

741
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 2: like loves it, and you know, I know writer friends

742
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 2: who are like, dude, this is scarier but it's incredible.

743
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 2: But I don't know, I have an aversion to it,

744
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 2: you know, I.

745
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 1: Feel like, does it feel like lazy?

746
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 2: Yeah? Now I feel weirdly scarier. I just don't want

747
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 2: to be a part of it. I don't know. It's

748
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,399
Speaker 2: not lazy, it's more of it. Just like I don't

749
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 2: want to I don't want to touch it. I don't

750
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 2: want to touch.

751
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 1: It because once you open that box.

752
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

753
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:27,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of hard to resist.

754
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 2: Yeah no, I know, I'm sure it's incredible.

755
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: I know my kids use it and also one of

756
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: their boyfriends uses it and he just sits and talks

757
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: to it, and it says like the most create a

758
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:45,360
Speaker 1: picture of a goat wearing a Mumo sipping on a

759
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: seven eleven slurpee in the iceberg, on an iceberg, and

760
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 1: then two seconds later it will.

761
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,280
Speaker 2: Show you that. I know, I think I'm scared.

762
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 1: That's scary, I think. And also use your time for

763
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: something productive? Please? What value?

764
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 2: Is that so scary? I know? But I did. I

765
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 2: did download the chat GPT you know app, and I

766
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 2: was like, I let mass around with it. I'm my house.

767
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 2: Pretty incredible. I mean, it's pretty, it's pretty amazing. I'm scary.

768
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 2: You can just say, you know, from a creative standpoint too,

769
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 2: I mean like I'm stuck. You know, I need to

770
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: help help get me out of this writer's block. I

771
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 2: need this, this, this and that yeah, ideas come up.

772
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 2: You know.

773
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 1: It is very helpful in that respect, but also very scary.

774
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, do you have see that movie Wally?

775
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, this. I always say this. It's funny you do.

776
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: Oh this is my fucking seventh saying this for years.

777
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 2: Like I said, that is the most prophetic movie in

778
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 2: the last fifty years.

779
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: And nobody's seen it. Like, people don't watch that movie.

780
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 1: I don't know why.

781
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 2: That's so funny you say that. I always say that.

782
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 2: I said, that's the most geniusly prophetic movie. You know,

783
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 2: this is what our.

784
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: Society is and you look around and you see it happening.

785
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: I tell my kids all that, I'm like, oh my god,

786
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm living in Wally World.

787
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 2: Yeah no, I know.

788
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 1: All the trash is on the earth and we all

789
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: have to go to some man made place in the sky.

790
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: And when we sit there and stare at our screens,

791
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 1: the screens and an order room service or whatever, you know.

792
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 2: Likestates, it's just crazy. It's just it's the lazy culture.

793
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,879
Speaker 2: And when my kids are here in the house doing

794
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 2: and they're not moving, I'm like out. I literally kick

795
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 2: them outside. I'm like outside, get outside. But that I'm like,

796
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 2: I don't care. I said, go get arrested, go get

797
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 2: in trouble. Honestly, I don't even care. I would rather

798
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 2: a police officer bring you home right now, like you've

799
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 2: got to get outside. You know.

800
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. You know I'm going to tell them

801
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: that tonight, you guys go get arrested. I've got some

802
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 1: sound parenting advice from.

803
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 2: My friend all exact. I have all kinds of weird

804
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 2: things I say that people like what you said that

805
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 2: you say that to your kids? Like another one real

806
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 2: quick is you know I I would rather my kids

807
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 2: cheat in school than not try at all. Like I've

808
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 2: literally said this. I said, I would rather you cheat

809
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 2: than just say I'm not going to do the assignment.

810
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,359
Speaker 2: If you're cheating, you're actively trying to get by, You're

811
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 2: actively trying to get it in. You know what I mean.

812
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 2: You're just saying, like I don't give a shit. That

813
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:31,439
Speaker 2: is that is extremely complacent. I'm not I'm not saying

814
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 2: cheating is where I want you to go, but I

815
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 2: would that at least says you're.

816
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:40,280
Speaker 1: Trying, You're doing something, You're trying to cheat.

817
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: You're trying. It's like, oh shit, I didn't get this

818
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 2: in what's your homework? Calling a friend? What is this?

819
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 2: Rather than being like I don't, I don't, I don't care.

820
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 1: You know so true?

821
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,399
Speaker 2: You tell you said that to your kids, and like.

822
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: Do you write a book of your parenting tips and tricks?

823
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 2: These are no, it's it's called fear and bribery, and

824
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 2: it's it's like a pamphlet.

825
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 1: A pamphlet.

826
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 2: That's all you got, parenting pamphlet.

827
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were kind of in the same boat as

828
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:21,720
Speaker 1: my husband. Surrounded by strong women except for your two boys.

829
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 1: It sounds like you have been raised by strong women. Yeah,

830
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 1: what is the biggest I mean, if you can even

831
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: narrow it down to like one, what's the biggest lesson

832
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 1: that you have learned from being around these amazing women,

833
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: your wife, your mom, your and my wife.

834
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:42,720
Speaker 2: Mom, Kate. You know, well, I have such respect first

835
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 2: of all, my mother. I mean, there's so much pride.

836
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 2: I mean when we look at how she came up

837
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 2: in this business, you know, truly a man's world, and

838
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 2: being one of the first female producers to have like

839
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 2: a real studio deal and having to go into boardrooms

840
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: with a bunch of dudes and saying the things that

841
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 2: she said and having to stand up for herself. I mean,

842
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 2: she has incredible stories.

843
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,280
Speaker 1: You know, he's a trailblazer, oh for sure.

844
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 2: I mean super a trail, big time trailblazer. And there's

845
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 2: a lot of pride there for me, you know, a lot,

846
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: a lot just that iconic, that iconic female, you know. Yeah,

847
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 2: And then I think, obviously it's rubbed off on sort

848
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 2: of what I want. You know, what I wanted in

849
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 2: a woman and a partner, no doubt. You know, someone

850
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: who's unafraid, someone who has their own life, you know,

851
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 2: will kick me in the ass when I need to

852
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 2: get kicked in the ass. You know, there's a mutual respect,

853
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 2: and honestly, there's no codependency. You know. I like that.

854
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 2: I don't want anyone having to rely on me. I

855
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,439
Speaker 2: don't want to have to rely on any one else emotionally,

856
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 2: of course, you know what I'm saying. And then you

857
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 2: look at Kate, and you know, I look up to

858
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 2: her tremendously in the sense of her no fear attitude.

859
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 2: You know, like she just has no fear, she's unafraid,

860
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 2: she doesn't care if she offends along the way, because

861
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 2: it's not intentional she's just a badass woman who's gonna

862
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 2: sort of get what she wants. And and again you know,

863
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 2: just fearless.

864
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, both role models of mine.

865
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, and then my daughter, you know, and

866
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: then and then that all translates to my daughter, you know,

867
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 2: and just making sure that she knows that she's in control,

868
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. You're gonna like boys, and

869
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 2: they're gonna like you back, but you you wear the

870
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:57,760
Speaker 2: pants like you're ye, like, yeah, you call the shots

871
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 2: because you can, you know. And it's just sort of

872
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 2: led into me in the way that I look at

873
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 2: the world, the way that I parent, you know, even

874
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 2: my boys, even the way that I parent my boys,

875
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 2: you know, and how they've seen strong women. And Wilder's

876
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 2: girlfriend right now of two years, how awesome she is

877
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 2: and how badass she is. You know, love her, she's

878
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 2: the greatest. She'll just say whatever she thinks. You know.

879
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 1: I was just so rad that's such a good thing

880
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: for women. All this talk about being strong. When's the

881
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: last time you cried?

882
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 2: You got to cry all the time, cry all the time.

883
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:42,399
Speaker 2: The dentist today, ver emotional person. No, No, I didn't cry,

884
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 2: the dentist. I you know, when was I, Oh, when

885
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:48,879
Speaker 2: was I just losing it?

886
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, sometimes you just got to release it.

887
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 2: Oh just recently, I was just a complete mess. I

888
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 2: forgot Oh god, I wish I could remember. And I

889
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 2: called Aaron because she wasn't with me. Oh I was

890
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 2: in Colorado. Oh, and I was just bawling. I don't

891
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 2: know what was going on, you know, I was calling, like,

892
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 2: I don't know why, I'm so like, I'm just like

893
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 2: losing it, you know, over weird things. Triumph is big

894
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 2: for me too. Overcoming adversity is huge, Like when I

895
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 2: see someone who has, you know, fallen to the bottom

896
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 2: but has worked their ass off to sort of get

897
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 2: back to where they were, or you know, even if

898
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:31,359
Speaker 2: it's like a personal victory, that kills me every time.

899
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 2: And then of course father son related, I'm done.

900
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, at least you know what you're where you need

901
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: to stay.

902
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:45,280
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah yeah yeah. I cry. I'm a crier.

903
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, because people think guys don't cry. Is that still

904
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 1: a thing?

905
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 2: Is? I think it's getting better again. I think that's

906
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 2: where like sort of guy's cry, that's where the old

907
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 2: the It's okay to be a vulnerable dude now you're

908
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 2: allowing allowing dudes to cry. I don't think I never

909
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 2: thought of it as a thing. You know, even growing up,

910
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 2: I would imagine, like Kurt, you know what I mean.

911
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, you also had those women around you to bring

912
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: out that sort of emotional Yeah.

913
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 2: Oh yes, Yes, there's.

914
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 1: Nothing better than being in touch with your emotional being

915
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: and being confident to let it come out if it

916
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:27,360
Speaker 1: needs to.

917
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:31,800
Speaker 2: No, I know, I know, and I need. It's funny

918
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,879
Speaker 2: because I told you I went to this place called

919
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 2: the Hoffman Institute Hoffmann Process, and you come out of

920
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 2: that place realizing the potential that you have as a

921
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 2: human being.

922
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 1: When did you go there?

923
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,320
Speaker 2: Oh man? Eight years ago now seven?

924
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: Did you chop wood?

925
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 2: Chopped wood? Yeah? Chop would I did? I mean all

926
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 2: of it? I mean it was extremely intensive. Did you

927
00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 2: go to No, I want.

928
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 1: To since you mentioned it. I was on your pod.

929
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 2: It's incredible.

930
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 1: I was intrigued and I looked it up and I'm like.

931
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a good time. And I've never I've

932
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:13,920
Speaker 2: never cried so much in my life with being at

933
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 2: the Hoffmann Process. I mean, it's a it was a breakdown,

934
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 2: but it allowed me to sort of realize the potential

935
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 2: of me as a human, as a man, as a

936
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 2: husband is everything, and then you know, it wanes, it wanes.

937
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 2: You know, all this to say that I want to

938
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:33,359
Speaker 2: get back to being okay with my emotions.

939
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 1: You know, I've been called emotional, and I've always felt

940
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 1: like that's such a derogatory sort of judgy term, especially

941
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 1: when it came from the men in my life. But

942
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,359
Speaker 1: I for the longest time, I'm like, I'm not emotional.

943
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 1: I'm emotion full, and there's nothing wrong with that.

944
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 2: Mm hm oh yeah, oh for one hundred percent. Yeah,

945
00:50:56,360 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 2: emotional seems derogatory when it said like emotional.

946
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: So some people just can't handle emotionful people.

947
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, well, there's also to be fair

948
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,359
Speaker 2: to whatever the other side of that is. There are

949
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 2: people probably who need to rein it in, you know.

950
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 2: I mean there was there was a woman who was

951
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 2: in my Hoffmann class and she was just almost so

952
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 2: open where she was everything was filled with emotion and

953
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 2: just the simplest things. And I went to my small

954
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 2: group teacher and was ed and I'm like, ed, let

955
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:34,760
Speaker 2: me ask a question. I know, I'm sort of having

956
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 2: trouble just letting go. But you know so and so,

957
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 2: would you say that she needs to kind of get

958
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:44,240
Speaker 2: it together.

959
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: You took your teacher to the side.

960
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 2: I did. I did, and just to understand, try to understand,

961
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 2: like there is the other side of the spectrum too,

962
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,240
Speaker 2: and he goes one hundred percent. People come in like, oh,

963
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 2: it's like so much, and you like, all right, it's

964
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,399
Speaker 2: time to bring that in. Maybe you've used that as

965
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 2: a crutch your home.

966
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,279
Speaker 1: You know that's that's probably not going to get you

967
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 1: where you want to go.

968
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm mm hmmm mm hmm. But yeah, the more,

969
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 2: the more emotional, the better.

970
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 1: I love talking to you. I think you're amazing and

971
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: I just love what's happening for you in your life,

972
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,319
Speaker 1: in your family's life. Like this a good time.

973
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 2: I think it's a good time. I think it's a

974
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 2: good time. It's exciting.

975
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:30,399
Speaker 1: I have to ask you a question before I let

976
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:33,280
Speaker 1: you go, though, Ye, what was your last I choose

977
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: me moment?

978
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:38,280
Speaker 2: Mmm, this is a good question.

979
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 1: It's the last time you said I'm going to do

980
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:42,800
Speaker 1: this for myself.

981
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 2: I choose Okay. This is great because I think there

982
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 2: are little things I think you have to choose yourself

983
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 2: at times, many times in the day, little things I

984
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 2: really do. I'm going to take this moment for myself.

985
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 2: They're the big ones. But I think every day you

986
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 2: have to choose yourself, even if you have kids, even

987
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 2: if you're busy, even if you're you know, in a workplace,

988
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 2: there are the moments where you're choosing you. Every day.

989
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 2: You have to find that, you know. I think my

990
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 2: big choose me moment was probably in November. I go

991
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 2: on these big fishing trips. Ten days. I'm out to

992
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 2: see you can barely get a hold of me and

993
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 2: leave out of San Diego. I'm on a boat, don't

994
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 2: get off the boat near in the middle of the ocean,

995
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 2: just catching tuna and with the twenty eight people, you know,

996
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 2: random people who now I know after being on this

997
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 2: specific trip, and again Aaron's amazing and she knows it's

998
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 2: a passion of mine. But you know, I'm choosing that

999
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 2: this is something that I need to do. It's personal.

1000
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 2: I love it, it's cleansing. It's the most as cathartic

1001
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 2: as you can get in the middle of the ocean,

1002
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 2: doing what I love to do and just separating, you know.

1003
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 2: So that my last like big choose me moment and

1004
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,360
Speaker 2: I'm gone for ten plus days, and it's it's a

1005
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:06,120
Speaker 2: long time to be away from the family when I'm

1006
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 2: not working, and you know, I do it all. It

1007
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 2: fills you up here, oh my gosh, yeah, one hundred percent.

1008
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 2: And then her, she has hers too. You know, she's

1009
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 2: big on her friends, and she goes to the sleepovers,

1010
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 2: you know, for two or three nights, and I'm with

1011
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 2: the kids, or you know, she just did a whole

1012
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 2: trip to New York with all of her girlfriends for

1013
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,120
Speaker 2: four four nights, you know. And and you know, I

1014
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 2: think relating it to relationships, you have to let your

1015
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,959
Speaker 2: partner have those choose me moments whenever the hell they want,

1016
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 2: you know.

1017
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've learned that kind of the hard way. I

1018
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 1: used to be like I felt left out. I don't

1019
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 1: know if that's jealousy.

1020
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 2: I felt.

1021
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: I would feel left out, I would feel like unincluded,

1022
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: like you know, I had all those very unhelpful feelings.

1023
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: And then something just sort of changed where I was like, Okay,

1024
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,760
Speaker 1: you are your own person, you have your own needs.

1025
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,840
Speaker 1: I have my own needs, and there's nothing wrong with

1026
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 1: each of us having the things that you know, fill

1027
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: us up and they don't they're not always going to

1028
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 1: be the same things. Of course, of course we're different people.

1029
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, one pillar, that codependency. That one. If you're going

1030
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 2: to hold up a big stone, you know, slab, one

1031
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 2: pillar right, there's going to be effected, the wind might blow.

1032
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 2: That ship is much easier, it's easier, going to be

1033
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 2: easier to tip. And that's the codependency. If you've got two,

1034
00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 2: that ship is going to stand strong, you know what

1035
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 2: I mean, whether that's family, relationship, whatever it is. You know,

1036
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,839
Speaker 2: that's why you need to have separate lives. You need

1037
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:43,280
Speaker 2: to have dependent and relationships independent of each other gets

1038
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 2: way too messy. And I've seen it so much with

1039
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 2: friends or it's like, dear, what it's up. You know,

1040
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 2: like you need to have your own ship. I mean

1041
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 2: it's so important and refreshing and you know it's energizing.

1042
00:55:58,800 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 2: You know, it's energizing.

1043
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,400
Speaker 1: Well, I love it that you take your fishing trips.

1044
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:05,920
Speaker 1: I saw you holding up fish that was like as

1045
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 1: big as you. Yeah, what do you do with that fish? Like,

1046
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: I'm curious. Do you eat it?

1047
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1048
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah yeah, chop it all up and you.

1049
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, they put it underneath the boat, you know, which

1050
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 2: has a cooling system, and then you're out for ten

1051
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 2: days and then they when you get back to land,

1052
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 2: there's a fish processor and you have it all processed

1053
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 2: and cut and frozen all beautifully, and then you take

1054
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 2: it home and you've got hundreds of pounds of fish.

1055
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:31,760
Speaker 2: And then I like to can a lot of the stuff.

1056
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 2: You know, you jar it with olive oil and rosemary

1057
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:38,240
Speaker 2: or garlic or different spices, and so now you've got tuna,

1058
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 2: yellow fin tuna, and then whatever else you're catching, you know,

1059
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 2: that is preserved in these amazing jars, these Mason jars.

1060
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,319
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's it's there's the whole process to it

1061
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:49,359
Speaker 2: is fun. And I have a boat.

1062
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 1: Love it.

1063
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 2: I love it.

1064
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:50,919
Speaker 1: I love it.

1065
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 2: My fish SMA on boat.

1066
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:52,880
Speaker 1: You're a fisherman.

1067
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 2: I'm a fisherman. I'm a fish. Yeah, that's right. Fishermen

1068
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 2: now with it with a tooth, with a too.

1069
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: Thank god. It's nothing worse than a toothless fisherman.

1070
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 2: I don't know, or is there anything? Is there? I

1071
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 2: don't know because that seems the work, if you know

1072
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

1073
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you're a good time Oliver. Good luck

1074
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 1: on your movie with your son, that's so exciting. You're

1075
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 1: gonna have a great time.

1076
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 2: You're gonna bond, it's gonna be amazing.

1077
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, good stuff.

1078
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 2: Well, be well, I will thank you toffee or anything. No, no,

1079
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 2: I know that's what he said. He's like, do not

1080
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 2: eat anything hard, don't eat anything sticky.

1081
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 1: Yeah we're old now we can we can only eat

1082
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 1: like fish.

1083
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 2: A straw. Yeah.

1084
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 1: Good times. Okay, have fun with that.

1085
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 2: Okay later bye,