Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want
Speaker 2: to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 3: time and a terminol and gay. We want to send
Speaker 3: you off in style.
Speaker 4: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 2: We scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Malborn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need
Speaker 5: a ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 2: Fairbanks and this is Karen Coilgarath.
Speaker 5: We're on Lincoln heading towards the airport to pick up
Speaker 5: Jake Johansson, who is the most hilarious.
Speaker 2: He's the number one hilarious comedian.
Speaker 5: I would say, I think, as far as our podcast goes,
Speaker 5: that is the episode that I was laughing the hardest during.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we also we were doing it O G style.
Speaker 4: It's been a while since we're actually driven down Lincoln.
Speaker 5: To Lax because it feels terrible. It's emotionally horrible. It's
Speaker 5: an emotionally Already he's texting, we're not quite on time,
Speaker 5: but now I'm finding his bag isn't there yet, so
Speaker 5: I feel better. I don't need to be. It's very stressful,
Speaker 5: so many emotions already, and we haven't even there's no
Speaker 5: guest in the car yet. I've already gone through denial, anger, sadness, regret,
Speaker 5: all the thing. When someone dies and no one's even died,
Speaker 5: I fingers crossed.
Speaker 2: Maybe a part of you is dying.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it's just a little there's a little
Speaker 5: hole in my heart, and I think it's shaped.
Speaker 1: Like Jesus.
Speaker 2: Jesus or Jake Johansson.
Speaker 5: Jake Johansson. I call him Jesus for short. He does
Speaker 5: not like it.
Speaker 2: That's his prison nickname.
Speaker 5: He has not yet been to prison. But it's important
Speaker 5: before you're incarcerated to have a nickname. Going in and.
Speaker 4: Pick a group, Pick a group, pick a race, tell
Speaker 4: them your nickname.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's me Shorty, Hey it's me lumpy.
Speaker 5: Hey, it's me Jesus. I used to be a comedian.
Speaker 5: Why are you guys punching me?
Speaker 2: I guess that's part of it. They told me in
Speaker 2: that book that this is.
Speaker 5: Just part of it. I have a reoccurring nightmare that
Speaker 5: I wake up and obviously I don't remember my nightmares,
Speaker 5: but I remember thinking about them when I wake up,
Speaker 5: and I sometimes think I've killed someone someone somewhere in
Speaker 5: my life. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know what that's
Speaker 5: about because I never have and I can say that confidently.
Speaker 5: Pretty pretty sure, pretty sure. I mean, these dreams are
Speaker 5: very realistic, but I'm I'm never in prison, but I'm
Speaker 5: about to go. It's that, But it's as silly as
Speaker 5: the dream where I have to go back to high
Speaker 5: school and I have to cancel gigs because I didn't
Speaker 5: finish credits.
Speaker 4: Do you ever tell people I shouldn't be here, like
Speaker 4: you try to plead with people because you know that you're.
Speaker 5: Have math almost forty math credits to finish. Yeah, it's
Speaker 5: I don't understand that. I'm sure I could lay down
Speaker 5: and someone could explain it to me.
Speaker 4: Well, the high school one is about anxiety. Is anxiety
Speaker 4: and unfinished business. But I know that because I used
Speaker 4: to look up my dreams a lot. Okay, I can't
Speaker 4: say I've never had a dream where I killed somebody,
Speaker 4: although I did. I used to every once in a while,
Speaker 4: dream that I was would punch my friend in the
Speaker 4: face like she would piss me off. And it was
Speaker 4: a person I was not getting along with in real life,
Speaker 4: and in a dream, I.
Speaker 2: Would punch her and then everyone would be like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, freak out. And then I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 2: why did I do that? That's so crazy?
Speaker 5: And maybe that's just simply a dream where you wish
Speaker 5: you'd punch someone in your life.
Speaker 2: It's wish fulfillment. Yeah, yeah, absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 5: I just dreams are so strange to me. And what
Speaker 5: scares me even more is I usually don't remember them
Speaker 5: at all. So what's that mean if you don't dream.
Speaker 2: Ever, Well, maybe you just don't remember.
Speaker 5: That's whatever. That's what everyone says, and and I agree,
Speaker 5: I think.
Speaker 1: That's probably it.
Speaker 2: That's probably it.
Speaker 5: But we aren't dreaming when we say we're picking up
Speaker 5: Drake where I can see it off in the distance.
Speaker 5: The Lax Tower where they do a lot of uh
Speaker 5: probably controlling of when the planes land. Yeah, yeah, a lot.
Speaker 2: Of control issues in that tower, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 5: Too many cooks in the kitchen.
Speaker 4: There are all so many people bossing each other and
Speaker 4: smoking cigarettes.
Speaker 5: And saying jokes from the airplane, like there's a sale
Speaker 5: at pennies.
Speaker 4: They would have to make airplane references in control tower.
Speaker 5: Will you think three times? Today? Someone said, I guess
Speaker 5: I picked the wrong way to stop sniff and glue.
Speaker 4: We know that, yes, gotta be, there's got to be,
Speaker 4: and you know they're sniff and glue also, Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: that's the joke is that they're doing it as they
Speaker 4: sniff glue.
Speaker 2: They they're saying they just have.
Speaker 5: Paper bags lined with gas to huff.
Speaker 4: I have to say that movie one holds up to
Speaker 4: since the day I saw it when I was twelve
Speaker 4: years old.
Speaker 2: It is still as hilarious in every way.
Speaker 5: It is, and it's amazing because it's the exact kind
Speaker 5: of humor that you think wouldn't hold up right, so silly,
Speaker 5: and they're the other movies, those that duo made, Like
Speaker 5: there's some other Leslie Nielsen flops, But in.
Speaker 4: That one, I think it's because like Leslie Nielsen, everyone
Speaker 4: is so serious. They're really playing it like the like
Speaker 4: Airport seventy seven style, right, so it almost seems slightly real.
Speaker 2: And then it's like then there's eggs coming.
Speaker 5: Out of their mouth. Yeah yeah, and then later in
Speaker 5: life they told him to start crossing his eyes.
Speaker 2: Yes exactly.
Speaker 5: Oh god, that's an intimidating. There's just a cop leaning
Speaker 5: against his bike using his body as a tripod to
Speaker 5: pick up someone speeding.
Speaker 4: Oh am, I speeding? That was I was really I'm
Speaker 4: going fifty.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm talking on a microphone. He might pull us
Speaker 5: over for pretending to be game show hosts.
Speaker 2: He never stopped leaning though he never did.
Speaker 5: He was he really had a secure.
Speaker 4: Hold and I would you know what I would say
Speaker 4: to that cop if he pulled us over. If you
Speaker 4: can lean, you can clean, which is what I learned
Speaker 4: at the Gap working there for one year.
Speaker 5: Someone's the manager said that they.
Speaker 4: Colleen, the assistant manager, who was no shit gal. She
Speaker 4: was very funny. I really liked her.
Speaker 5: If you can lean, you could clean.
Speaker 4: Yeah, basically means there's don't just hang out ever, always
Speaker 4: be doing something if you're working.
Speaker 5: That's the best saying. Yeah, leaning meaning that's what you do.
Speaker 5: If you're like relaxing and not working, you're just leaning
Speaker 5: against some T shirts. At the Gap, I.
Speaker 4: Was literally leaning against the cash wrap, which is where
Speaker 4: what they call the registered.
Speaker 2: Area, just leaning there, just kind of like, oh, no
Speaker 2: one's in here.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 2: I have so many great stories about the Gap. Chris
Speaker 2: Any and.
Speaker 4: Also, I have a varied knowledge of most T shirts,
Speaker 4: and you know how to fold cotton items.
Speaker 5: That's something I wish i'd my My T shirt folding
Speaker 5: style is so whack. It is just not anything to
Speaker 5: write home about. Okay, arriving flights, I guess we go
Speaker 5: to the right, is it a Yeah, anxiety comes over me.
Speaker 5: It's something about this airport.
Speaker 2: I feel like, could it be the complete trap?
Speaker 4: The gridlock traffic and it is just the ship that
Speaker 4: we know we're about to drive into.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's gonna be the word. And we have to
Speaker 5: go to terminal six, which is close to the last one,
Speaker 5: which means more driving. There's no shortcuts.
Speaker 2: Oh, Lax, we haven't seen you in so long.
Speaker 5: How have you been. I see you've not gotten a
Speaker 5: facelift or any work done.
Speaker 4: Hey, lady, you're different. You're not like any other lady
Speaker 4: in this town.
Speaker 2: They're letting it all go natural style like.
Speaker 5: Me that they everyone is so disappointed with Lax when
Speaker 5: they get here. If you go to other airports in
Speaker 5: our country, they do something to modernize it or make
Speaker 5: it convenient.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they kind of.
Speaker 4: Sometimes they'll put up like a big, a big wall
Speaker 4: of glass windows, so it kind of looks like, ooh,
Speaker 4: it's could be the future.
Speaker 5: There's some art, some modern art. Yeah, but no at Lax,
Speaker 5: they're like, hey, remember the seventies, So do we Yeah,
Speaker 5: because we haven't changed anything.
Speaker 4: They're like, hey, remember the Iran Contra scandal. Well, this
Speaker 4: is what it looks like if it were.
Speaker 2: An air war.
Speaker 5: This is an airport. This is what an airport it
Speaker 5: looked like if Reagan was still president.
Speaker 4: Hey, remember how Reagan ruined everything? That's right, I said it.
Speaker 5: We're the Reagan of airports because we're going to ruin
Speaker 5: your day.
Speaker 4: We're gonna ruin any enjoyment you might have in the
Speaker 4: next twenty minute.
Speaker 5: Lax not a sponsor of do you Need to Ride?
Speaker 2: An enemy of Do you Need a Ride?
Speaker 5: Oddly, we are sponsored by the Chicago O'Hare, which I've
Speaker 5: never been to, have never been to. It's like your
Speaker 5: mother's arms, all floppy and covered with chalk dust.
Speaker 6: My mother was.
Speaker 5: I guess that's a second grade teacher. I don't know
Speaker 5: why I made her that. I just think of, ah,
Speaker 5: so many arms.
Speaker 2: Oh, your mother was an octopus.
Speaker 5: She really octopus. Actually, the only the person in town
Speaker 5: called the to pus was an autistic man who could
Speaker 5: play eight people once in chess.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I made T shirts for him, or he had
Speaker 5: the amazing he had he had his own coffee brew.
Speaker 5: That's the thing about small towns is they embrace their
Speaker 5: their their local color, their local color. They're locally uh,
Speaker 5: they're famously unstable. They're they're mentally uh quick to anger
Speaker 5: people that there's a guy called the Leprechaun that I
Speaker 5: think his previous job was waiting in holes during the
Speaker 5: war and stabbing the enemy. No and uh, and he
Speaker 5: just became the Leprechaun, which and he'd do open mics
Speaker 5: and dress, of course like a leprechaun and play.
Speaker 2: Guitar and then stab you on the ankle.
Speaker 5: He did end up stabbing someone later in life.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but everyone's like, come on, it's Tommy the LEPrecon.
Speaker 5: I think we'll get in this entrance.
Speaker 2: Here and what Tommy stabbed?
Speaker 5: You've come on, It's funny he doesn't know better. Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's my There there was Red the Preacher. He would
Speaker 5: just scream burn, hell fire, burn, hell fire, burn, and
Speaker 5: then we'd skate by and go hey Redney.
Speaker 1: Go burn.
Speaker 5: Oh hey, kids, how are you doing great?
Speaker 6: Ja for a skate.
Speaker 5: Isn't it just beautiful weather? Okay, back to be a
Speaker 5: nuts burn burn the Bible.
Speaker 4: So he was nice if you were nice to him,
Speaker 4: but ultimately he kind of wanted everyone to burn.
Speaker 5: Yes, he was warning everywhere we were going to hell.
Speaker 5: But he was happy to see us, and he was
Speaker 5: really friendly.
Speaker 4: Oh so see he's like it was. He was genuinely
Speaker 4: worried about people.
Speaker 5: And there's another man who would wait. We all everyone
Speaker 5: noticed him in town because it's such a white town.
Speaker 5: And and he was this black man that would wear
Speaker 5: a full padded like three different car heart one pieces
Speaker 5: and had all these all this baggage mentally but also
Speaker 5: literally had many bags. And he would just wait by
Speaker 5: the news station by k c I and look up
Speaker 5: at the sky. He was waiting for God or aliens.
Speaker 5: These men are all dead now, they're all long gone.
Speaker 4: And I wonder what their realization was when they died,
Speaker 4: of like, oh that was a waste of time, or hey,
Speaker 4: look hell fire, I was right.
Speaker 2: What if Red was right? Is my funny joke.
Speaker 5: So he should be we Oh he might have been,
Speaker 5: who knows? I Look there he is, there, he is,
Speaker 5: He's right beyond this white truck.
Speaker 2: He's right beyond these pedestrians. I almost ran over.
Speaker 5: This was perfect. Yes, this was a perfect pickup.
Speaker 2: This was there unless I hit this car. Worked out great.
Speaker 5: Now that guy's looking down, he has like, yay, we
Speaker 5: did it, Yay, we did it.
Speaker 2: Oh I loved it, Johans.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's the best.
Speaker 2: I just love him. Is that open?
Speaker 5: Hi, We've already said a lot of nice things about you.
Speaker 1: Oh, I will do it.
Speaker 2: It's it's open ship. My guitar might be in there.
Speaker 2: Is it gonna fit.
Speaker 5: We're gonna have a momentary here, just talk amongst yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can just throw that on there? Is that
Speaker 2: all right?
Speaker 5: I know there's a sheet over, there's a.
Speaker 4: And then this goes like this, and there's another one
Speaker 4: on that.
Speaker 2: Goes like that. Guys, Chris is just letting you know
Speaker 2: how it's working. In the back. I'll let you know.
Speaker 2: He knows. It wasn't that long ago. Hi, good to
Speaker 2: see you.
Speaker 5: Oh goodness, okay, yes, please do During this, I realized
Speaker 5: I'm better at editing now, so we can cut this out.
Speaker 2: It doesn't just have to be I thought it was great.
Speaker 2: It was very natural.
Speaker 5: It was natural. It was a natural people.
Speaker 2: Love that, you know, like the small things in life.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like small moments of confusion, Yeah, small moments of
Speaker 5: ill preparedness.
Speaker 6: You wanted to make sure that I got it buckled.
Speaker 2: But did good for safety?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean it is an issue.
Speaker 1: MIC's are I love this mic. It's the audio technica.
Speaker 1: It's got a Jean rayburn field to it. It's a
Speaker 1: fairy ray Burny.
Speaker 5: I didn't I don't even know Jean rayburn is, but
Speaker 5: I that is the first thing I said about these
Speaker 5: mics when I first held him.
Speaker 2: He was the host of match Game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. And and he had that really it
Speaker 1: was a mic about this long, and then it had
Speaker 1: a little it was thinner, but it had a little
Speaker 1: ball on the end.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I guess it was because he didn't like to have
Speaker 1: his hand up near his face, because you have to
Speaker 1: put a mic near your face, but you can keep
Speaker 1: your hand down. Then.
Speaker 5: I wonder if that's by all the game show mics
Speaker 5: when they have some civilian run up on stage, you
Speaker 5: want the mic as long as possible because it from away.
Speaker 2: That's right, that's a good idea.
Speaker 5: It's other people spittle. You know how much people spit yeah,
Speaker 5: just the general public.
Speaker 1: Well, when they're excited, when they're about to compete at
Speaker 1: the game show. That's they've done studies where they show
Speaker 1: that you really produce.
Speaker 6: A lot of saliva in a situation like that.
Speaker 2: They're just drooling for money.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, and when you got can you imagine how
Speaker 5: much you're spitting? If there's a low end stackable washer
Speaker 5: dryer combo just waiting to be yours.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I have a washer dryer that can be stacked,
Speaker 1: but it's not stacked, And sometimes I wake up in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night thinking about going out and stacking.
Speaker 2: The stacking that thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, who's to say that you can't stack an unstackable
Speaker 5: washer and dryer.
Speaker 1: It is stackable, it's made to be stacked. It has
Speaker 1: the potential of being stacked.
Speaker 2: You're just saying, what if you live the other way?
Speaker 6: What if I was a different sort of person.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I'm just gonna if you do plan on
Speaker 5: doing this, and this is just something I'm coming up with.
Speaker 5: I think I'm I do not put the dryer on
Speaker 5: top of the washer, because most unstackable washer dryers the
Speaker 5: washer the door is on top. So if you put
Speaker 5: the dryer. You're not getting your clothes in there.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, just from a physics standpoint, the washer's got
Speaker 1: to go on the bottom because of the weight you
Speaker 1: it's got a lot of water in there. Those are heavy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I would go over to Lincoln here and go up.
Speaker 1: I think we just Oh you've got a different idea.
Speaker 2: No, I don't have it. I'm just driving. I'm just
Speaker 2: enjoying myself.
Speaker 1: I'm not try That guy next to us is doing
Speaker 1: a test thing yet his man bun came out here.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the man bun is a thing now, isn't it. Yes,
Speaker 1: it used to be a ponytail and now they've gone
Speaker 1: man bun top knot, top knot sort of.
Speaker 5: I've and I've seen them online. You can get artificial
Speaker 5: man puns that I can I can just put on
Speaker 5: my regular.
Speaker 6: Oh this is exciting.
Speaker 1: I always learned something new when I get picked up
Speaker 1: at the airport from you guys. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: going online when I get home and get well, I'm
Speaker 1: going to order some man buns.
Speaker 2: Are you going to get you a man bun?
Speaker 1: I would just just to have it on the thing
Speaker 1: that I would do is.
Speaker 6: I would carry it in my bag.
Speaker 1: And then if I was sitting next to a guy
Speaker 1: with a man bun when he got up to go
Speaker 1: to the restroom, when he came back, I'd have my
Speaker 1: man bunn.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and he would have to stop for a moment
Speaker 5: and think did he have that? Man? Is this guy
Speaker 5: making fun of me? But no one would ever call
Speaker 5: you out.
Speaker 1: It's not making fun. It's what I call an homage.
Speaker 4: What if that's when you find out that the men
Speaker 4: buns have a secret handshake, And that's he discovered that
Speaker 4: yours was fake because you.
Speaker 6: Didn't know it, because I didn't know the handshake.
Speaker 5: It's got to be a fist pound, right, you.
Speaker 1: Would I would say, look, this thing just grew out
Speaker 1: long enough for me to punt it today. And so
Speaker 1: while you all know the handshake, yet you were in
Speaker 1: the bathroom.
Speaker 5: Let's teach me, bro, teach me your ways, bro, how
Speaker 5: do we shake hands? And he'll go, well, it's actually
Speaker 5: a handbun and then he then he fist pounds.
Speaker 2: Then he make a bun like shape.
Speaker 1: He makes a fist and then you put your hand
Speaker 1: over the outside of.
Speaker 4: It, and then you walk to a yoga class together
Speaker 4: and then you pull it down like a slot machine.
Speaker 2: And you drool and drool for all the money.
Speaker 4: And he goes win chicken dinner.
Speaker 2: Tick. Where were you just now?
Speaker 5: Where? I can't I just stop and laugh. I love
Speaker 5: ridiculous visuals being spelled out, and uh okay, I'm back.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind that to the two people who are
Speaker 1: doing that are wearing man buns, one of them is
Speaker 1: a real one and one of them is a fay.
Speaker 2: Yours is bright red because you order, you check the.
Speaker 1: Wrong box on the internet when or maybe I just
Speaker 1: like the idea to look at that.
Speaker 6: Some guys have.
Speaker 1: Some guys have beards that are different color from their heads.
Speaker 1: So I got a different.
Speaker 5: Color grows out different when I.
Speaker 1: Hear you people who want to mock me and my
Speaker 1: technic colored man bun, I'm coming back. I'm returning from
Speaker 1: Minneapolis by way of Phoenix, Arizona. So because of because
Speaker 1: of the you know, I have to fly in the
Speaker 1: airline where I have all the miles and so it's
Speaker 1: two stops. It's a stop on the way. So the
Speaker 1: first flight, I got upgraded and it was exciting in
Speaker 1: the front. Yeah, even though it was one of the
Speaker 1: old US airplanes, the US airplanes, the former US air
Speaker 1: They don't have they don't have any TVs or audio jacks.
Speaker 1: They got nothing, just so plastic in beige.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you just get to sit in a bigger chair
Speaker 6: in the front.
Speaker 5: And last time we picked you up, you would, if
Speaker 5: I'm not mistaken, had diamonds that you had had up
Speaker 5: your ass.
Speaker 1: I was smuggling in some diamonds, that's right. Did you
Speaker 1: redeem those at a jeweler this time? You know, I
Speaker 1: didn't get a good count of those before I swallowed them,
Speaker 1: which is that we don't know when you're done.
Speaker 6: You gotta do.
Speaker 1: I'm still looking through I'm missing I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: missing a few, but I can't be sure. But I've
Speaker 1: been pooping into a strainer since then.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, so also something people have meant man buds.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah, because they don't eat carbs,
Speaker 5: they're not having spaghetti. You gotta use that strainer for
Speaker 5: something now.
Speaker 1: So yeah, this this flight, the second flight, there was
Speaker 1: a there was a guy with a ponytail, old school
Speaker 1: ponytail guy who got on and stuck his bag. He
Speaker 1: went in the overhead compartment. I had been asked by
Speaker 1: someone else to move my bag to a different overhead
Speaker 1: compartment so he could get his wheelie bag.
Speaker 6: You know, I just got one bag.
Speaker 1: I just have one little backpack that I'm bringing, So
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm allowed to put it in the
Speaker 1: overhead even though it would fit under the seat in
Speaker 1: front of me, because.
Speaker 6: I only brought on one bag and he brought all
Speaker 6: your bag.
Speaker 5: That is the that's the announcement they make. If you
Speaker 5: have one bag, go ahead, put it upstairs.
Speaker 1: And this ponytail dude then gets on and he's got
Speaker 1: a bag and my my bag is smaller and it's
Speaker 1: in the back, and he puts his in and then
Speaker 1: gives it this kind of manly shove, like hammering it in,
Speaker 1: and it's like, hey, my bag is under that bag.
Speaker 1: You're just smashing in there, and it has my nice
Speaker 1: electronic equipment.
Speaker 6: Yeap cursing.
Speaker 5: It's real, Hey, when it's truth.
Speaker 1: Keeping it real. I love I love show business. Now
Speaker 1: we're just always doing it. This is the this is
Speaker 1: there's not really a time of your day where you
Speaker 1: have to take it where you're taking a break and
Speaker 1: you're saying I'm not doing show business. Right now, you're
Speaker 1: doing it all the time.
Speaker 5: Got it? Well, you do my other show tonight called
Speaker 5: sleep cast you are You're able to sleep, But it's
Speaker 5: also being a lot of people listen.
Speaker 6: To it, and too, I can do that.
Speaker 1: I've got it in the middle of the nights and
Speaker 1: I'm stacking my washing machine and my driver.
Speaker 5: Will be there for that too. Because Hollywood never stopped.
Speaker 2: That's for your HGTV special.
Speaker 5: That would be special.
Speaker 6: It does never stop.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 1: The last time I was in the car, we were
Speaker 1: talking about backyard comedy shows and I still haven't gotten
Speaker 1: to do any of those with you, Karen. But I
Speaker 1: did get to do a show that's in the pack
Speaker 1: of a barber shop.
Speaker 2: So, oh, how was it that?
Speaker 1: It was great?
Speaker 2: Was it that secret show?
Speaker 5: That long room blood barber?
Speaker 2: Yes, I love that show.
Speaker 1: It was really it was really fun. When I was
Speaker 1: talking to them though, you know, they they're always full,
Speaker 1: so I would call it sold out, except they don't
Speaker 1: sell tickets just to have a mailing list. And I
Speaker 1: was telling them, like, you know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: tell you how show business works, but the business part
Speaker 1: is where you're not. This isn't a show business.
Speaker 6: This is just show.
Speaker 5: That's just the nature of any show in Los Angeles.
Speaker 5: No money has transacted, but you do get a free
Speaker 5: meal there, if I'm not mistaken.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of volunteering in the business.
Speaker 5: The other show, the show that Jake and I met at,
Speaker 5: was a prohibition them speakeasy where it was very it
Speaker 5: was hidden that there was even a show there, and
Speaker 5: that also didn't pay. If I recall.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no they don't. They don't pay. I didn't will
Speaker 1: you don't need to. I don't need to get paid.
Speaker 6: I just like to.
Speaker 1: I just like to talk into microphones. So I know
Speaker 1: it's now that everybody has them, it's great, and everybody
Speaker 1: has a show. Who can listen to all these shows,
Speaker 1: We're gonna eventually it's going to turn on us and
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to pay people to listen. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: they're gonna be too busy, yes doing that, they're doing
Speaker 1: their own show. I'm sorry, I can't do your show.
Speaker 1: I'm doing my show right then. Like I was thinking
Speaker 1: that when I got in the car, I would be
Speaker 1: recording and then I could it could be my podcast also.
Speaker 1: But that's a great idea that was kind that was complicated.
Speaker 4: It really is a good idea, though, yeah, you can,
Speaker 4: and you could actually do a side about what the
Speaker 4: how the conversation is going to yourself.
Speaker 2: For your show.
Speaker 5: I mean, commentary is so popular on DVDs, I don't
Speaker 5: know why it wouldn't be popular on podcasts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I like the idea. Well, we could do
Speaker 1: a commentary of this part. We could listen to it
Speaker 1: back later and then talk because I feel like it
Speaker 1: could be better.
Speaker 6: I mean, that's how that's where I'm at right now.
Speaker 1: I feel like i'd love to if I had another
Speaker 1: gear that I could take it up a notch.
Speaker 2: Right, sorry, right now? Or in general?
Speaker 1: No? Well always right, yeah, always, no, you're right, thanks
Speaker 1: for thanks for helping. This is part of my I'm
Speaker 1: working on it. I'm working on it with a helper,
Speaker 1: with a person. But yeah, I would love to just
Speaker 1: let's take this to the next level.
Speaker 5: I think if we did that, I would just constantly
Speaker 5: be saying, oh, I don't like that I said that,
Speaker 5: and then I would say that about that right now.
Speaker 1: I do sometimes feel like, you know, when I'm recording
Speaker 1: the beginning part of my podcast, that's all about this
Speaker 1: is what's going to happen on the podcast. Then I
Speaker 1: get finished, I feel like it could have been better,
Speaker 1: And then sometimes I'll do it again, and I think
Speaker 1: now the first one was better. And now I'm at
Speaker 1: a point where I just I'm not going to do
Speaker 1: the second one. I just won't. I'll do this, I'll
Speaker 1: do it the next week.
Speaker 6: I'll do it next week. I'll do it better.
Speaker 1: You know, show it's weird. It's a brave new world.
Speaker 1: It's a brave new world.
Speaker 2: Everyone's a star.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Well that's for sure, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: Did you do you who won the election last night?
Speaker 1: Did you follow that at all? Oh? I mean that
Speaker 1: we care, but I feel like this election is problematic
Speaker 1: and that I don't it's gonna one of them is
Speaker 1: going to get to be president.
Speaker 5: Yea.
Speaker 2: Ultimately, yeah, it is going to be a problem.
Speaker 5: That has been bothering me about this one. One of
Speaker 5: them has.
Speaker 1: To be picked. In the past, what bothered me is
Speaker 1: that I was worried that the one I liked wouldn't
Speaker 1: get to be the president. And now it's just like,
Speaker 1: it's one of these this, which one do you pick?
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 5: You don't like that, uh, grumpy wild haired man?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I suppose I like him?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you better I mean, you're a comedian, you're better
Speaker 5: like Bernie.
Speaker 6: We all have to like him. Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: If I had to pick the funniest, I might pick
Speaker 1: the guy that everybody thinks is a jerk. You like,
Speaker 1: he's the funniest If he if he just said I've
Speaker 1: been kidding the whole time, I would go, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: well that was great.
Speaker 5: Then yeah, what a great character.
Speaker 6: That was great.
Speaker 1: He's having an argument with the Pope. I'd love to
Speaker 1: get in an argument with the Pope.
Speaker 6: I don't think I would.
Speaker 2: I don't pretty bold, Yeah, to be mad at the Pope.
Speaker 5: I think that if he wins. This is me trying
Speaker 5: to be positive. If he wins, he's gonna be surrounded
Speaker 5: by people that will make decisions for him, So it'll
Speaker 5: be just this massive people.
Speaker 6: Maybe not. I feel like he's gonna go. Look.
Speaker 1: I feel I've got this handled. Like you were the
Speaker 1: guys who thought it was a bad idea for me
Speaker 1: to get an argument with the pope, right, and it
Speaker 1: turns out to be a good idea. It almost seems
Speaker 1: like he does whatever. Yeah, I think he's trying to
Speaker 1: get thrown out.
Speaker 2: She's a madman.
Speaker 6: He's like what do I have to do to get
Speaker 6: thrown out of this election?
Speaker 5: Why is this working?
Speaker 4: All Mexicans are rapists? Where everyone's like, we're good with that.
Speaker 4: He's like, I'm gonna build a wall. Sounds good to us.
Speaker 4: Muslims should all get we should get rid of all Muslims.
Speaker 2: Good Yay.
Speaker 5: He's like, oh my god, this is working.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I bet this week he sends a dick pic to Oprah.
Speaker 6: I think that's what he's gonna do.
Speaker 1: Next.
Speaker 5: He's gonna tape it under her chair.
Speaker 4: And his comparison item will be a cup of Oprah
Speaker 4: Chai from Starbucks.
Speaker 6: That didn't last very long. The Oprah.
Speaker 2: No, they really blew that up.
Speaker 5: Well that's I saw that coming, and that's why I
Speaker 5: went on Amazon and I got a case of it.
Speaker 1: Cornered the opra chie market. So ten years from now,
Speaker 1: I did that.
Speaker 5: With Sparks too.
Speaker 2: When they's called the battery gap.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the old battery gap.
Speaker 2: Everyone in podcasting knows about it.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, people are listening thinking, Yeah, that happened to
Speaker 1: me one time. When I was doing my podcast Traveling Car.
Speaker 5: We have discovered that there are a few other podcasts
Speaker 5: that take place in a car in.
Speaker 1: The best place are there? Yeah? Wow? Oh this is
Speaker 1: This is something that I like to do on my
Speaker 1: podcast is take phone calls.
Speaker 6: I can't.
Speaker 1: It's Vick Henley, but I can't answer Rick.
Speaker 6: You know Vick, he's a comedian.
Speaker 1: It's very funny.
Speaker 5: I remember the Velvet Room in Austin. For a while,
Speaker 5: it wasn't the Velvet Room. It became a club called
Speaker 5: Funnies exactly for exactly one month.
Speaker 1: Helvida Room is a ridiculous name it is. Let's switch
Speaker 1: it to funny.
Speaker 5: Let's make it something more ridiculous. And Vic Kenley was
Speaker 5: the first headliner.
Speaker 6: The Belvido Room is small.
Speaker 5: It was a Bruce baumb It's Bruce Baum owned the club.
Speaker 5: The baby Man, the baby Man, baby Face, Bruce bruce Baum,
Speaker 5: the baby face man.
Speaker 1: He doesn't have a baby face. He would be wearing
Speaker 1: a diaper.
Speaker 5: No, it's more of a mafia type name. He doesn't
Speaker 5: really have a baby face. They just call him baby
Speaker 5: face because he'll break your kneecaps a lot like a
Speaker 5: baby would.
Speaker 6: If you gave the babies are dangerous. Don't don't give
Speaker 6: the baby your hammer.
Speaker 5: You get right in the knees every time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is funny when you see it in a movie.
Speaker 1: When you when you see someone get hitting the balls
Speaker 1: or their knee cap get kneecapped in a buy baby
Speaker 1: in a movie, it's great.
Speaker 5: Beast you inside the entire premise of Home Alone, I'm
Speaker 5: concerned that I didn't know what did I do?
Speaker 1: What have I done?
Speaker 5: Oh? You don't?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 5: Because is it more urge when your phone ring is
Speaker 5: a tiny piano?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 1: No, Nick Ken is like.
Speaker 2: Jake, I've got a premise issue.
Speaker 1: He's have you ever had a call like that? Got
Speaker 1: a premise issue?
Speaker 2: It's a comedy emergency.
Speaker 1: Douchy like I've got a premise emergency. I think I
Speaker 1: think that I'm doing some of your material? So could
Speaker 1: you please do all of your material? And then I'll
Speaker 1: tell you if I'm.
Speaker 2: Doing any of it, I'll tell you what to take out.
Speaker 1: I don't want to tell you what I'm doing because
Speaker 1: if I did that, then you might start doing my material.
Speaker 5: So it's a it's a dangerous line you have to
Speaker 5: dance on when you're calling someone.
Speaker 1: About look at this. Look at the sign on this
Speaker 1: liquor market here at m milk firewood ice bag. Yes,
Speaker 1: and it's and it's stenciled on there in spray paint.
Speaker 1: I just I'm always I'm a little skeptical of the
Speaker 1: ATM that that's, you know, the one that looks like
Speaker 1: it can they put it on a dolly and then
Speaker 1: take it inside at Night's that at M?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's got a bike lock.
Speaker 1: It's like, what kind of careless not careless, care free?
Speaker 1: What kind of whimsical nomads are sticking their card into
Speaker 1: that ATM? It's just like, I don't do whimsical.
Speaker 5: Note when whimsical nomads even have bank accounts these days?
Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't know they do, and they're willing to
Speaker 4: pay upwards of four to ninety five per ATM transaction.
Speaker 1: Have you heard about the idea that some banks now
Speaker 1: are are charging you interest to keep your money in
Speaker 1: the bank, no negative interest rates. It seems that I
Speaker 1: think maybe it's a thing that banks are charging other
Speaker 1: banks to do, but it just seems insane. It's like, Okay, so.
Speaker 6: I got to buy a safe, get a shotgun, yeah.
Speaker 4: Get some fireway, yeah, get some They're pushing us into
Speaker 4: the apocalypse is where it's where they want us to go.
Speaker 2: They're the worst people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's why That's what that sign makes me think
Speaker 5: is at the last minute they spray paint stencil the
Speaker 5: sign for your panic gear. At the end of the world,
Speaker 5: you're gonna need fire ice, earth wind fire in an
Speaker 5: ATM machine and uh and that's why it was. And
Speaker 5: you know it's not going to be a nice ATM
Speaker 5: machine if it's just the what is.
Speaker 1: A nice one? I only go to ones that are
Speaker 1: attached to a bank, and it's.
Speaker 5: One that on a list would be way far away
Speaker 5: from firewood. It's a nice ATM machine.
Speaker 2: It's kind of sleek and it sellsy stamps.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's a fixed to the ground.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Those ATM machines are more like a payphone kind of.
Speaker 1: That's a creepy like, oh, if you can remember payphones,
Speaker 1: you know what.
Speaker 5: Every once in a while, for giggles, I like to
Speaker 5: just pick one up and see if there's a dial tone,
Speaker 5: And usually there isn't, but when there is, I take
Speaker 5: a picture, because some of these things are still working.
Speaker 6: You take a picture of your like a selfie of you.
Speaker 6: You take a selfie of you.
Speaker 5: Yes, I have an album. I have an album on
Speaker 5: my phone.
Speaker 1: All of selfies of you with payphone selfies It sounds
Speaker 1: like a coffee table book to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would sell. People would adore it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys are aware that there's
Speaker 1: a renaissance here on Lincoln Boulevard. It's really there. It's
Speaker 1: upgrading itself constantly. That needs to be a val vacuum
Speaker 1: repair shop. And now it's a place where they have
Speaker 1: seven dresses.
Speaker 4: Christy, don coming buy one of our seven dresses.
Speaker 5: I love that. There's nothing more intimidating when you enter
Speaker 5: one of those stores and it's just seven items.
Speaker 4: Man Bun, Man Bun, I pointed right at him.
Speaker 1: He's working his Instagram right now.
Speaker 6: I just took a picture of my man Bun.
Speaker 5: Either I should post it or jump into traffic, as
Speaker 5: I'm poised to do.
Speaker 1: He's got those are the skinny jeans. Is that what
Speaker 1: skinny jeans that he's.
Speaker 5: Got on here?
Speaker 2: Those are pretty skinny also his that's an option.
Speaker 4: A lot of guys do they shave around the hair
Speaker 4: that goes into the bunch.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so, I mean when he lets that thing loose,
Speaker 5: just gonna look like a.
Speaker 1: That's gonna be the title of my new specialist, Unleash
Speaker 1: the Man.
Speaker 5: You have to great that's.
Speaker 1: Actually yeah, Hello, does anyone at Netflix listen to this?
Speaker 6: Because I'm ready.
Speaker 1: I've got the title and uh and that's all.
Speaker 2: You need in a comedy special.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and at least seven years experience, judging by the
Speaker 5: last few Netflix specials.
Speaker 6: Look at me.
Speaker 1: Taking a jab, Well, why special didn't go out on Netflix?
Speaker 1: You have to buy it on my website because they
Speaker 1: the one before that they wanted, but this last one
Speaker 1: they didn't want.
Speaker 6: But I was just in Minneapolis, as I.
Speaker 1: Think I mentioned, talking to Lewis Lee and Preserrio there
Speaker 1: at the ACME Comedy Company. Yes yet, and he was saying,
Speaker 1: there's going to be a changing of the guard at Netflix.
Speaker 1: Oh really, and things are gonna things are gonna things
Speaker 1: are gonna be different.
Speaker 5: He's always talking politics.
Speaker 6: He does like to talk policy.
Speaker 5: He also remind you not to have sex with anyone
Speaker 5: in the wait staff. He told me that five or
Speaker 5: six times.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm married, but he will you. You're a sexual being.
Speaker 1: I mean that's obvious to me. Every time I see you.
Speaker 1: It's like this guy is he can't help himself. I
Speaker 1: mean when people of all sexes and nationalities are throwing
Speaker 1: themselves at you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you's got to be warned.
Speaker 1: Eventually, You're like, yes, please, Okay, I'm elderly.
Speaker 5: Filipino ladies lately have just been going after me hard.
Speaker 1: You those tiny hands, and they're so joyful in their
Speaker 1: in their love making.
Speaker 6: I'm glad. I think it's what I've seen.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of shame, that's what it is. Culturally.
Speaker 5: I really thought you were complimenting my hands, your tiny hand,
Speaker 5: they are very tiny.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're a great lover. Well you wouldn't have
Speaker 1: it's interested.
Speaker 5: I hate fishing like that, but thank.
Speaker 1: You, Jake, You're welcome.
Speaker 5: I think there's just pheromones around me. If you think
Speaker 5: I'm like pig panic, except it's squiggly around me, are
Speaker 5: just panty dropping, Sorry panty dropping. I'll get out up here, fell.
Speaker 6: I was just having a squall panic. You know.
Speaker 1: My daughter has this speech thing that she's picked up
Speaker 1: at school where she's telling you something and then she's
Speaker 1: kind of finished telling it to you, but instead of
Speaker 1: kind of doing a sentence where it finishes up, she
Speaker 1: sort of fades off and then she goes, so, yeah, that's.
Speaker 6: The end of the thing.
Speaker 5: How old is she?
Speaker 6: She's eleven?
Speaker 5: Yeah, my nieces are eleven and they I think that's
Speaker 5: an age thing. So yeah, like it ends with just
Speaker 5: its sarcastic. That's that's just how a story concludes.
Speaker 4: My niece just starts laughing at her own story, so
Speaker 4: she'll be like, they cat jumped up on the curtain
Speaker 4: and I had to get her down, and.
Speaker 2: She just kind of like laughs at you.
Speaker 1: I think, what's an example of a comedian who doesn't I.
Speaker 6: Like it? It's fun, this is fun.
Speaker 1: So which comedian specials on Netflix are terrible?
Speaker 5: I think that a lot. I've noticed that some comics
Speaker 5: all have like a first Netflix special and then they
Speaker 5: have a follow up one and it's just not as good.
Speaker 5: That's uh, you know, that's it suppose make sense. But
Speaker 5: I've I sat I watch a lot of them.
Speaker 6: Do you. I've tried, and then I can't get through it.
Speaker 1: I've tried to find out about people like, oh I
Speaker 1: like this person, I've I've seen some of their tweets,
Speaker 1: or I've heard someone else tell me how great they are,
Speaker 1: and then I try and watch the the special when
Speaker 1: I get halfway in, and it's just like I just like,
Speaker 1: I like doing comedy shows, but I don't guess I
Speaker 1: only like watching them if I'm at them right, me too,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't like watching comedy on TV, stand up comedy
Speaker 4: on Timmy like that.
Speaker 5: With the Netflix specials, do they tell them, hey, don't
Speaker 5: bother doing your material, keep it real loosey goosey act
Speaker 5: like you know what, maybe you don't even want to
Speaker 5: be there.
Speaker 1: Well, and also the idea that it doesn't it's not
Speaker 1: an hour anymore. Like when you used to do an
Speaker 1: hour special on HBO, they would the longest it could
Speaker 1: be would be fifty eight minutes, but they actually would
Speaker 1: prefer if it was fifty three or fifty four minutes
Speaker 1: because then they could put some promos in.
Speaker 6: But on Netflix it can be it's.
Speaker 1: Like an hour and ten minutes, and it's like, this
Speaker 1: is longer than it should it doesn't.
Speaker 6: There's parts of.
Speaker 1: This that don't need to be in it. Some fat sometimes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it could be dad's use. You could trim the fat,
Speaker 1: or you could just cook it down.
Speaker 5: You could render it, render that fat, make some soap
Speaker 5: with some of your fat, baby, render that fat, welcome
Speaker 5: back to render that fat.
Speaker 6: Well you yeah, now you're asking me driving direction.
Speaker 1: This is the thing is like you're pointing, wanting me
Speaker 1: to give you some kind of instruction because you don't
Speaker 1: want to talk about where we're going, but you want
Speaker 1: me to be the person who does that, and I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want this all to
Speaker 1: be about just directions. Okay, you're trying and worried that
Speaker 1: people are Can people figure out where I live?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 5: No, They're not common concern.
Speaker 1: But I don't think people want to stalk me. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying. I'm not calling you out, stalker, who's
Speaker 1: listening right now? But I just I feel like people
Speaker 1: have better things to do than stalk me. I'm past stalking.
Speaker 1: Age really is what I feel. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm old. I just feel like, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: stalk somebody, it's gonna be a younger. It's gonna be
Speaker 1: a younger person.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, it's a kid's game. It's I mean, the
Speaker 5: stalker can be any age, but you're usually you want
Speaker 5: to stalk a younger person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, this is good, don't There's people in the crosswalk.
Speaker 5: With tiny, tiny hands.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look at him, tiny mister plaid walking over mister plaid.
Speaker 1: You could you could park around here and we could
Speaker 1: sit and chat for a minute if you want.
Speaker 5: Well, I had a bag of poop in his back pocket,
Speaker 5: and I just wanted to point it out.
Speaker 1: I don't think there was a poop in the bag.
Speaker 1: I think that was a bag to pick up poop.
Speaker 1: I had a dog for a little while.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't stick in your pocket.
Speaker 5: Why was it bulging?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 5: Can anyone explain what?
Speaker 4: He's a rich man with a large wallet, okay, and.
Speaker 2: Then walk right on the outside.
Speaker 1: His lady friend had the dog, and then he's walking
Speaker 1: behind her with a poop bag in his pocket and
Speaker 1: talking on the phone. This is a part of modern life.
Speaker 1: I mean, meanwhile, he's looking at those three people have
Speaker 1: microphones and there's a towel in the Is that a
Speaker 1: towel or a sheet?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Why is he sitting on a sheet?
Speaker 2: A religious sheet?
Speaker 4: Modern life deal, that's how we do it.
Speaker 6: What if we all had a poop into bags?
Speaker 5: I mean one day we're gonna I already picked out
Speaker 5: my cath there's a website, Yeah, pick out just.
Speaker 1: The way, easy, easy catheter.
Speaker 5: A lot of people go reusable, but I think I'm
Speaker 5: responsible enough to clean mind this. Sorry, yeah, I do
Speaker 5: see those.
Speaker 2: I see those commercials all the time.
Speaker 4: It's a it is a new day where you have
Speaker 4: to listen to catheter commercials.
Speaker 1: I don't watch the TV that much anymore, but but
Speaker 1: I was really surprised at how many catheter ads there were,
Speaker 1: and that that's who must be watching TV.
Speaker 4: It's like, and they're getting people who want to be
Speaker 4: in a catheter commercial, which I just wouldn't want.
Speaker 1: Once the money's on the table, I mean, you're not
Speaker 1: telling your agent, hey, can you send me out for
Speaker 1: some cather ads. But let's say you get a phone
Speaker 1: call they go, well, it's a catheter.
Speaker 2: Fifty thousand dollars some insane amount?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 5: Voiceover? No, it's your face and the catheter ad? What
Speaker 5: do you say?
Speaker 1: All right? Just act like you have a cath Lisa
Speaker 1: Carna was in the catheter ads. Do you know Lisa.
Speaker 1: She's a comedian from Florida and she's.
Speaker 2: And she acted, she was acting lying that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, she was the cather lady who was talking.
Speaker 1: I don't know if she was acting about them or
Speaker 1: talking about how they were. I can't remember. You'd have
Speaker 1: to ask her.
Speaker 5: Catheters are just for men's very through the openings, right,
Speaker 5: not women?
Speaker 2: Is there?
Speaker 6: Women?
Speaker 2: Women get them too.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it's either putting a tube in there to
Speaker 1: get your wiz out. I think that's why. I think
Speaker 1: that's what's happening.
Speaker 5: I mean, that's how a doctor would stay.
Speaker 6: We'll put the wizz tu.
Speaker 5: Ready, what are you doing the rest of the day,
Speaker 5: We're gonna put I like to eat things.
Speaker 6: People have said, it's a good quality. It's endearing. He
Speaker 6: must really like us.
Speaker 1: He keeps repeating everything we say.
Speaker 5: In a sing song. A copy cat boy.
Speaker 2: It's very eleven year old girl of you.
Speaker 1: So any medical problems you guys want to talk about,
Speaker 1: you have any medical issues?
Speaker 5: I have to get a new hip to get my hip.
Speaker 6: Is that true or not?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is true. It's been bothering me for a while.
Speaker 5: And then I went to a guy and he said, yeah,
Speaker 5: you were right. Your hip does hurt because these X
Speaker 5: rays show your bones are touching. But it's not that bad.
Speaker 6: No, the technology of it is amazing.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the only concern I have is that they only
Speaker 5: last ten years and then you gotta get another one.
Speaker 1: I think they last longer than that, don't they ten years?
Speaker 5: Ten to fifteen? Years, just like you know, a bo Jackson.
Speaker 1: Somebody told me boob fake boobs have a life expectancy
Speaker 1: of something like that. Like you get you get a
Speaker 1: boob job, and then you got to go in in
Speaker 1: ten years and get them rotated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're like bigger, bigger, smaller. You just keep
Speaker 2: going bigger until you die, until you suffocate.
Speaker 5: Think you just rotate them one eighty, flip them left
Speaker 5: to right, and the.
Speaker 4: Flat end is out for a little while, but then
Speaker 4: it just naturally.
Speaker 5: You always hear horror stories about someone catching a volleyball
Speaker 5: or something in the fake boob it bursting and that
Speaker 5: sends like a bubble to their brain and they're gone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they just have them now, don't they. Yeah, remember
Speaker 4: that some people get them carbonated so they're fuzzy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bubbles all over them. Do you ever watch watched
Speaker 2: that show Botched.
Speaker 4: It's a it's a reality show about all the people
Speaker 4: who get terrible plastic surgery that have to they have
Speaker 4: to get it fixed by good doctors, and they had
Speaker 4: those doctors.
Speaker 2: There's some stories on there. When you watch it with
Speaker 2: your friends, it's hilarious.
Speaker 4: And then this is the lesson I learned watching it
Speaker 4: alone is the saddest thing I've ever do.
Speaker 1: You're watching some terrible thing that happened to some person,
Speaker 1: and then that person is letting everybody see the terrible
Speaker 1: thing that happened to them. I understand why we want
Speaker 1: to watch it, but it's just I don't think that
Speaker 1: these it's it shouldn't be. It shouldn't they shouldn't make that.
Speaker 5: That's sad, but it is interesting.
Speaker 2: It's fascinating, but it's awful.
Speaker 6: What's the worst botch you've seen?
Speaker 5: It wasn't artificialized, sir. This is a grape.
Speaker 4: They charge you fourteen thousand dollars for this grape with
Speaker 4: grape with an eye drawn.
Speaker 2: On the front of it.
Speaker 1: These people have the lowest imagination you come to dog
Speaker 1: people that just come back the other way one strip.
Speaker 5: At least he took that bag which is filled with
Speaker 5: what is undeniably shit, out of his pocket and now
Speaker 5: he's just holding it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well no, that's you don't put the bag once
Speaker 1: it's got pulling it in your pocket.
Speaker 5: You just told yeah, either that or he's put on
Speaker 5: ice cream.
Speaker 1: What a catch he is that she gets to walk
Speaker 1: the dog while he talks on the phone.
Speaker 5: He stands forty Yeah, keep us forty paces apart. Honey,
Speaker 5: I'm allergic to that dog.
Speaker 1: He's doing some retirement planning right now, That's what I
Speaker 1: but he's doing.
Speaker 2: He's like transfer everything to the four oh one.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: You know he's gonna fake his own death tonight, fly
Speaker 1: to an island with his real girlfriend.
Speaker 6: Poor lady and her dog are gonna be broke.
Speaker 2: He bought that dog so that somebody would keep her company.
Speaker 1: It has the same name as him. It's weird that
Speaker 1: we're naming the dog your name. I know.
Speaker 5: Why is it every time you go to buy something
Speaker 5: a sweater, you buy another smaller one for the dog.
Speaker 5: I just want him to.
Speaker 2: Dress like, don't worry about it.
Speaker 5: I guess that was a stratch.
Speaker 1: No. I think it's okay. I think it's okay. I
Speaker 1: like that. I think it's okay. Dogs don't like to
Speaker 1: dress up as much as people think they do.
Speaker 5: How about what do you have medically coming up?
Speaker 6: What do I have medically coming up?
Speaker 1: Well, listen, I was worried that I had some issue
Speaker 1: with the my ass for a while, but I feel
Speaker 1: like it's it's all squared up now. I get a
Speaker 1: funny in my knee where it feels like it's it's
Speaker 1: it's gonna go outer, I'm gonna fall down, But then
Speaker 1: it goes away, so I'm waiting for it to get worse.
Speaker 1: I had a thing with the car one time where
Speaker 1: it was making this really weird noise, but I had
Speaker 1: to be going fast and I lived over by you know, Feverly,
Speaker 1: Beverly and Fairfax, and the mechanic couldn't get it to
Speaker 1: make the noise because he couldn't get up fast enough
Speaker 1: and he didn't couldn't be bothered to drive down to
Speaker 1: the freeway and drive it. So this thing was just
Speaker 1: bring it when it gets louder, bring it back. And
Speaker 1: I felt like it was that was bad advice. But
Speaker 1: then also I get it now as your body gets
Speaker 1: a little bit older, like your hip.
Speaker 6: You don't have to get it fixed. Now. You can
Speaker 6: wait till it gets unbearably painful, which.
Speaker 5: Will I could. Yes, yes, it's just in the past
Speaker 5: year it's been it's made me decide to do it.
Speaker 6: Have you tried fish oil?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 6: You can lub it up from my from with I don't.
Speaker 5: I rubbed just about everything on that hip and fish
Speaker 5: oil I do take fish. I do. I do take
Speaker 5: a lot of anti inflammatory loop up your joint type things,
Speaker 5: but this, once the bones are touching.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, time to get a new hipp Yeah.
Speaker 1: Once your foot is swelling this inflammation. I didn't realize
Speaker 1: that we're all but are we really all inflamed? Or
Speaker 1: is this like gluten? We all had to quit eating
Speaker 1: gluten and now it's like no.
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, I experienced because I was rheumatoidal for a while.
Speaker 5: That's an arthritic thing. And I was getting shots of
Speaker 5: cortison and pridmi zone. I'm scared, and I was walking
Speaker 5: like a little old man. And then I changed.
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 5: I quit eating bread and sugar and and dairy for
Speaker 5: like six months in the pain went away.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 5: And so just to troubleshoot and test it, I would
Speaker 5: end out of being weak.
Speaker 1: I would you can have half of chocolate milkshake.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and my knuckles would hurt a couple days later.
Speaker 5: It was really easy to gauge. So I believe in it,
Speaker 5: and believe in anything.
Speaker 4: Well. I also don't think everybody has the inflammatory problem
Speaker 4: just but certain people do. And also just everything we
Speaker 4: have these days is.
Speaker 5: Terrible I'm just airing it out.
Speaker 1: Let's tar it out. Just do that.
Speaker 2: That's fine, Yeah, because there's a we're really yapping it up.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, a lot of hot talk right back.
Speaker 2: Talk about inflammation.
Speaker 6: What's the biggest person you've ever had sex with?
Speaker 5: Come on, well, we said our recent unstabled guy out
Speaker 5: on the streets desks and people.
Speaker 1: Our stable guy. That's the morning radio show gimmick, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta.
Speaker 5: Send out a stutter or a guy with a lazy
Speaker 5: eye to go make people feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: But he's got a certain skill, that guy, because he's
Speaker 1: willing to go up and talk to everybody, because a
Speaker 1: lot of people get shy in that situation. But he's like, no,
Speaker 1: I want to be famous and a part of the
Speaker 1: show enough that I'm going to overcome my shyness and
Speaker 1: come out of my cage.
Speaker 5: That is just ninety percent of everyone in radio, And
Speaker 5: I think I just probably pissed off a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all the people who are listening to us to
Speaker 1: a radio show in a car.
Speaker 6: That's the thing.
Speaker 5: They won't because they're they're hardcore terrestrial listeners.
Speaker 6: They're snooty man.
Speaker 1: I was I you know, I'll be honest with you
Speaker 1: when you were getting batteries. I was having a conversation
Speaker 1: with Karen and we were talking about a guy who
Speaker 1: was a radio guy, and he I kept telling him,
Speaker 1: you know, you should try doing a podcast because he
Speaker 1: has the skills for it.
Speaker 6: But he's just.
Speaker 1: Prejudiced against them. He doesn't even listen to them. What
Speaker 1: about what about Mark Maron talked to the President? You
Speaker 1: didn't listen to that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, come on, yeah, yeah, that's the radio that
Speaker 5: they forced you to do. When you do capsity in Austin,
Speaker 5: those guys you stick around for it and you're already
Speaker 5: there three hours, but they stick around for an additional
Speaker 5: hour and then they that's when they do their podcat cast.
Speaker 5: And that's when we had the most fun because it
Speaker 5: was no holds barred, you.
Speaker 1: Can say whatever you want.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's good.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of those guys that's their exit strategy.
Speaker 1: They're just waiting now to get fired from their radio
Speaker 1: job and just take it completely completely pody cast.
Speaker 5: That's that's what they should do. It's the new we're
Speaker 5: all in control of our own destinies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that can be scary, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: Well, the fact that it doesn't pay anything. Is there's
Speaker 1: a little bit of a stumbling block.
Speaker 2: Well, if you get your squarespace going, it can pay.
Speaker 5: Oh, that reminds me.
Speaker 6: He's all, well, I can vouch for them.
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a user, I'm a client, I'm a
Speaker 1: whatever they do.
Speaker 6: I have a little store on there.
Speaker 1: They sell my DVDs on my website. They don't. They
Speaker 1: have a thing where a person clicks the thing and
Speaker 1: then a friend of mine mails them to them.
Speaker 6: But they they made all that possible.
Speaker 5: Did they provide that friend.
Speaker 1: No, I had to make that friend myself. But I'm
Speaker 1: can make friends. I can make friends. I'm making friends.
Speaker 1: If you think that's hard, try getting them to make
Speaker 1: stuff out.
Speaker 6: Man. That's where it really gets true.
Speaker 2: That's where the friendship gets tested.
Speaker 1: And the thing is I mail him to him and
Speaker 1: he emails him. I mean, I mail him a box
Speaker 1: with a bunch of them. When he runs out, I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta send him some more.
Speaker 5: That's terrific.
Speaker 1: And then another thing you can do on square space
Speaker 1: is you can get a thing that people click. I
Speaker 1: think my website that people can click and just give
Speaker 1: me money. And somebody did it really it was like, hey,
Speaker 1: if you want to support the podcast, just one so
Speaker 1: far it's only been up for a little while.
Speaker 5: But yeah, all you have to do is find some
Speaker 5: guy some yet again, he's going to be mentally unstable too,
Speaker 5: but he lives on a boat and he's just got money.
Speaker 1: Because oh, we're all looking for the rich, dumb guy.
Speaker 2: Matthe mcconnie.
Speaker 5: Well, it looks like a guy that follows his fashion set.
Speaker 5: That was a kid kid. I just watched Magic Mic
Speaker 5: the other day and I gotta say, uh, I'm open
Speaker 5: and I'm secure with how did you get to watch it?
Speaker 5: I was very attracted. I find the men to be
Speaker 5: attractive and I but not in my in my genitals, like.
Speaker 1: Oh man, those guys are really good looking intellectually. If
Speaker 1: you were if you were into dudes, you it would
Speaker 1: be on.
Speaker 5: You'd want to go to the library like them them
Speaker 5: in order that I would kiss their faces.
Speaker 6: I sta had a gig in Vegas a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: And when you get off the plane to get on
Speaker 1: the tram to go to the baggage claim, there's a
Speaker 1: big poster for the Thunder from down Under and also
Speaker 1: there's a Chippendale's also, you know they got the billboards
Speaker 1: right across from each other.
Speaker 5: But those guys aren't Australian.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Chippendales are not. There was only one Chippendale
Speaker 1: guy and he was pretty fit. But when you see
Speaker 1: the three Australian or five or how many they are,
Speaker 1: and they all got their shirts, they look like the thing.
Speaker 1: The thing about the Thunder from down Under is the
Speaker 1: premise is it's not like Chippendale's. It's like these guys
Speaker 1: are in a tuxedo collar, but they're just doing a
Speaker 1: sexy dance The Thunder from down Under. Those guys look like.
Speaker 1: These guys are working on a farm. It's very hot,
Speaker 1: so they took their shirts off. Oh there's a story
Speaker 1: of the Yeah, it seems like that's what's going on.
Speaker 1: Look at these sexy Australian farmers that have come to
Speaker 1: America to do a show for US ladies and our
Speaker 1: bachelorette party.
Speaker 5: I like that.
Speaker 1: Because that's the last time you're going to get to
Speaker 1: see abs again if you get married.
Speaker 2: Unless you make a gay friend.
Speaker 5: I wish that the Chip and Nails dancers, they actually
Speaker 5: sounded like the chipmunks, like and some guy came out
Speaker 5: and he's like Elven, stop dancing.
Speaker 2: I think that'd be too much er.
Speaker 1: I'd love to go on that meeting where you pitch
Speaker 1: that to a network. It's like the chip and Dale's.
Speaker 1: They all live in a house.
Speaker 5: All right, there's a human a man that I know.
Speaker 5: They're human also, but this man without a chipmunk voice.
Speaker 1: When they're not on stage, they get very small and
Speaker 1: he can carry him around in a little box.
Speaker 2: But they're still really really built.
Speaker 5: Wait a minute, this is all happening on stage. Try
Speaker 5: not to interrupt. So we pick a casino.
Speaker 2: Let me think this through in your office.
Speaker 1: I have to.
Speaker 5: Invent a shrinking ray.
Speaker 1: No, No, we can do it. They don't really get small.
Speaker 1: What kind of dumb ass are we pitching to? No,
Speaker 1: this is a special effect, you moron. We carry the
Speaker 1: tiny chippendales around in a box from g to gig.
Speaker 5: We found No, it's dirty kind of idea, But could
Speaker 5: you stop calling me shuts?
Speaker 1: Do you know the difference between pornography and ryebald naughtiness?
Speaker 6: Because that's what we're going for.
Speaker 2: That's the line we're going to skate.
Speaker 6: It's a knife edge that we're going to be on
Speaker 6: to lick with some topless.
Speaker 2: Men from Australia.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: That's the thing I never understood about that saying is
Speaker 5: most swords are double edged. I mean there's never.
Speaker 1: No, no, that's not that's that's wrong.
Speaker 6: You're right, think about your your chefter.
Speaker 5: You're right, you're right. There's a katana sord that's got
Speaker 5: one edge.
Speaker 1: What couk two edge edges? It's like a knife. It's
Speaker 1: like a machete type of a knife.
Speaker 5: I'm thinking of old timey Game of Throne type swords.
Speaker 6: A lot of them are double edged.
Speaker 5: Yeah, hey, you know that's coming up again.
Speaker 1: Dude, watch that Thrones. Yes, I forget how much I
Speaker 1: love it, and then it comes on again. But we
Speaker 1: just finished watching. Do you watch Vikings? O MG? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: you see it on Amazon Prime.
Speaker 6: Well, pony up.
Speaker 1: It doesn't cost that much and you get free two
Speaker 1: day shipping and goes.
Speaker 2: Here and you feel Thrones.
Speaker 1: It's Spiking, except it's about Vikings, right, right, So they're
Speaker 1: just it's great. The guy who plays the head Viking,
Speaker 1: we see it unfloat fold in the first season, but
Speaker 1: he's pretty awesome. The haircuts in the first season. In
Speaker 1: all the seasons, but the first seasons, they hairdoos and tattoos.
Speaker 1: It's pretty great.
Speaker 5: So is there a lot of man buns?
Speaker 6: Yeah? I wouldn't call him man buns, but.
Speaker 5: Something that time. That times.
Speaker 4: First, do they ever fix their hair back so they
Speaker 4: can kill more efficiently?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh man, the battles are pretty gruesome. Yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: those guys were like their dream is like, well, maybe
Speaker 1: we'll get killed and that will be great because then
Speaker 1: we can go to Valhalla. But if we don't get killed,
Speaker 1: we're bringing back some gold.
Speaker 5: Oh wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna watch that.
Speaker 1: Vikings is so good and you can watch I think
Speaker 1: now three seasons are available on the Amazon.
Speaker 4: I did going back to Game of Thrones, saw the
Speaker 4: billboard on Vine driving up Vine and it was just
Speaker 4: John snow and something and that's it just said like with.
Speaker 1: The date he ceased.
Speaker 2: I literally I know.
Speaker 4: And I had like a full, like gaspy excitement moment.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Why would they allude to him being alive again?
Speaker 1: What if all the dead characters have gone to some
Speaker 1: kind of limbo zone that they can be retrieved from.
Speaker 2: He could be a walker.
Speaker 5: Now that's what you keep forgetting. But that still is
Speaker 5: wearing makeup and very handsome.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and maybe love can bring them back, maybe
Speaker 4: bring us.
Speaker 5: Back to together.
Speaker 1: Love will keep us together.
Speaker 5: Well, knowing we have to spend twelve I forget clear that.
Speaker 2: I don't think clear that needle drop.
Speaker 1: I think we didn't sing enough of it. And besides,
Speaker 1: on podcasts, as long as you're not advertising, you don't.
Speaker 6: Crap.
Speaker 1: I don't even know why you're doing advertising. You're getting rich?
Speaker 1: Are you guys rich? No? I mean because if you are,
Speaker 1: you should get a limp brush someday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, face.
Speaker 6: The money's rolling in.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I got one of those tape roller things.
Speaker 4: She good sponsored by card detailing business.
Speaker 2: Get this thing taken care of.
Speaker 1: So I'm ready for Game of Thrones. But it takes
Speaker 1: so long for it to be Game of Thrones time again.
Speaker 1: So that's why I've got all these other shows that
Speaker 1: I've got relationships with, like Vikings, Peaky Blinders.
Speaker 6: Peaky Blinders, that haircuts, Peaky Blinders. It gets better. You
Speaker 6: got to stick with it and go through it.
Speaker 2: I'll go back.
Speaker 1: And then I also recommend ripper streets enjoy skateboarding. No,
Speaker 1: it's about guys who just work their abs all day
Speaker 1: long to get ripped.
Speaker 2: Damn it and then they walk up the street.
Speaker 5: My script shred zone. Damn it.
Speaker 1: I thought that that was about frosted many weeks.
Speaker 4: It's all these people that work at the miniweeds factory
Speaker 4: and just it's an office comedy, or it's.
Speaker 6: It's a Haliburton thing.
Speaker 1: We got to tread these documents.
Speaker 2: Secret, secret secret.
Speaker 5: I like that.
Speaker 1: I like that riff.
Speaker 5: Well we I mean, you should go home to your family.
Speaker 1: I feel like we've are you saying, were you ready
Speaker 1: to tap out?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 1: No, it's no, this was good.
Speaker 6: I enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: But my wife is probably we got we got a
Speaker 1: hand on tread zone.
Speaker 4: What we just did was park in a way that
Speaker 4: any other normal American would have We would have all
Speaker 4: been getting high the way we.
Speaker 2: Just parked this car and sat in it. But we didn't.
Speaker 1: We just we don't get, do we do? I don't get.
Speaker 1: I don't either get higher personal me either.
Speaker 5: One time, the one time I did when I was young,
Speaker 5: and it was really scary to me. We went to
Speaker 5: a park just like that and uh and and parked
Speaker 5: off in the corner where no one could find us,
Speaker 5: like the cops, And it was a bong. I was
Speaker 5: taking rips off this pong and I rolled down the
Speaker 5: window to blow a bunch of smoke out, and my
Speaker 5: dad and his wife parked right next to us, and
Speaker 5: I literally, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to start describing my parents as my dad
Speaker 1: and his wife, even though even though she is my mom,
Speaker 1: or maybe my mom and her husband, because that's kind
Speaker 1: of sometimes I feel a little bit like that guy. Yes,
Speaker 1: take a right down to that and take another pregnancy.
Speaker 5: That woman, Vyva is a sweet looking d Yeah, that
Speaker 5: was kind of you got that right.
Speaker 2: Did you blow pot smoke into your father's part, Yes.
Speaker 5: And it's pretty crest He just kind of smiled.
Speaker 2: He knew.
Speaker 1: I don't think my dad would have known, well, I
Speaker 1: guess no, I don't think it would have known. I
Speaker 1: remember when I was in my early twenties having a
Speaker 1: conversation about somebody smoking pot that I knew, and then
Speaker 1: have having my mother or father saying like, have you
Speaker 1: ever smoked pot? Like in a way that was like
Speaker 1: have you ever been to the moon?
Speaker 6: Right right right? Like you've been?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, what? And we think we're about to
Speaker 5: get in trouble even though we're grown up, But it's
Speaker 5: also out of curiosity. I think because my dad has
Speaker 5: these headaches and they've been a problem because of the
Speaker 5: ex which is the only option to get rid of him,
Speaker 5: and he just now in his life started smoking marijuana
Speaker 5: to help with that. So it's so funny. I was
Speaker 5: visiting and he ha's like all these different varieties and
Speaker 5: it helps him helps him sleep.
Speaker 1: I was just in the I was just in Minneapolis.
Speaker 1: I think if you can remember back to a long
Speaker 1: time ago in this show, and I saw a friend
Speaker 1: of mine who's got MS and he has got tried
Speaker 1: the medical marijuana. He's off all of his other prescription
Speaker 1: muscle relaxant stuff.
Speaker 6: So now we just need.
Speaker 1: To whip around and go back to my driveway because
Speaker 1: of my bag is so heavy you can't do go
Speaker 1: to the next where the next stop sign up, and
Speaker 1: then you can whip around at.
Speaker 5: That And just so you know, of case you want
Speaker 5: to stock him, we're in the valley somewhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we're in a van in the valley. Ho much.
Speaker 5: It's the jolly look.
Speaker 6: I think the valley's all right, it's right if you
Speaker 6: want to buy.
Speaker 5: You know where I went recently. That just blew my
Speaker 5: socks off. As Glendale beautiful. I'm serious. I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm going to live here if I ever become a
Speaker 5: regular up the hills. It was just the downtown area.
Speaker 1: I went to, Oh, yeah, you can't go because there's
Speaker 1: a lady with a dog.
Speaker 2: She's very impatients.
Speaker 6: Real is this good as well?
Speaker 1: Go up to go up to the next driveway a
Speaker 1: little bit, and then you can. You can just whip
Speaker 1: in behind our car. Just not yet, but the next one,
Speaker 1: this one right here, right here, right here, behind the
Speaker 1: white car.
Speaker 6: It's very drunk or here or here right here is perfect.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is good. We're right on the street. No,
Speaker 1: right here, it's perfect. Pull up a little bit, and
Speaker 1: then I just wanted to how did I want to
Speaker 1: tell you? I want to no. I wanted to say,
Speaker 1: you know, Karen was going to do the benefit show
Speaker 1: for my daughter's school, but she came down with some
Speaker 1: kind of I had fluish thing right, so she couldn't sing.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna invite her to do that this year.
Speaker 1: And it's usually in the fall, and maybe you guys
Speaker 1: both wanted.
Speaker 2: To a year ago.
Speaker 1: Well it was in the fall, so this is still
Speaker 1: this this We're not even in the spring yet.
Speaker 6: It was it was. It was.
Speaker 5: I mean, just because I'm here right now, you don't
Speaker 5: have to invite me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I want you to do it.
Speaker 5: No I'm saying I do not want to.
Speaker 1: Oh you don't want to.
Speaker 5: It's so hard. I'm making a face that would let
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 1: I can't see if this is the funny because of
Speaker 1: the way that we're ranged in the car in the back.
Speaker 1: I've just been looking at the back of your heads
Speaker 1: this whole It's what if what if we were doing
Speaker 1: a show in a studio, But this is the way
Speaker 1: you insisted on us all sitting.
Speaker 2: Car.
Speaker 5: It's just a power play.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's like we try to stimulate being in a car.
Speaker 5: I would love to do that show. I'd love to
Speaker 5: raise money for your daughter.
Speaker 6: Well, it's a fun it's a fun crowd.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: How did that go?
Speaker 6: It went well. It was a fun night.
Speaker 5: And it's kids kids there.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, it's all grown ups. No kids
Speaker 1: are allowed to come. They asked me, They said, oh,
Speaker 1: can we bring our kids? And I said no, and
Speaker 1: our kids are pretty grown up teenagers. And I said,
Speaker 1: it just makes it weird for the other people in
Speaker 1: the room to see a comedian talking about something that
Speaker 1: maybe is fine for your kid to hear, but other
Speaker 1: people then go, is that okay that he just said
Speaker 1: blowjob in front of that child?
Speaker 6: You can't do that. And I know you guys want
Speaker 6: to do your blowjob stuff.
Speaker 5: So I have a full book of blowjob jokes.
Speaker 1: Uh. Catheter the catheter?
Speaker 4: Ohial, that's the kind of the seamless Uh from catheter
Speaker 4: to blowjob?
Speaker 6: Do you still do the finale where you pull out
Speaker 6: the catheter at the end of.
Speaker 2: The show and and spray the front row.
Speaker 1: It's not with real No, it's fake.
Speaker 2: It's champagne.
Speaker 4: That's when the party's here.
Speaker 1: I first set it on New Year, but you should
Speaker 1: help me wring it up so that it could we
Speaker 1: could pour everyone in the room's glass from my cathter.
Speaker 6: You thought we were finished, we.
Speaker 2: Fished, We were no way finished. You were just resting upout.
Speaker 1: You guys are awesome.
Speaker 5: And then where you're going somewhere? Is it Detroit?
Speaker 1: I'm going Detroit in a couple of a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks if you want to pick me up at the
Speaker 1: airport from.
Speaker 6: It's called the Comedy Castle.
Speaker 1: Comedy. It's not actually in Detroit, it's in Royal Oak, Michigan,
Speaker 1: but if you live in Detroit, it's very close.
Speaker 2: Is that a fun club?
Speaker 6: It was really fun. Last year was the first time
Speaker 6: I did it.
Speaker 1: And it's owned by this old old school comedy fan guy,
Speaker 1: so it's a great They take care of the audience.
Speaker 1: That the books cool acts.
Speaker 6: It's really fun.
Speaker 1: And I went to the Motown Museum highly recommend, which
Speaker 1: is in the house. It's the house where they recorded
Speaker 1: all that music that sounds.
Speaker 2: Oh I've heard about that?
Speaker 4: Is that the Is that the one where they show
Speaker 4: you how they they put the microphones up into the
Speaker 4: attic to get that sack.
Speaker 6: Handclapping echo thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty great. It's a great tour that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well that sounds fun. If you live in the
Speaker 5: Detroit area. You should go see Jake Johansson because he
Speaker 5: makes me laugh more than most people.
Speaker 6: Or my website jake this dot com.
Speaker 1: You can find out the other places I'm going, like Melbourne,
Speaker 1: Australia for the Comedy Festival.
Speaker 6: Or you can click on a thing and just.
Speaker 1: Give me money, yeah random. Or I've got a link
Speaker 1: to Amazon, so you can go to my website click
Speaker 1: the Amazon link. Then when you buy things on Amazon.
Speaker 1: Two days, you get a little do.
Speaker 6: You have that?
Speaker 1: Do you have that yet? If you should get that,
Speaker 1: it's easy.
Speaker 6: You can set it up. It's easy to set up.
Speaker 4: You can say so sorry if I went on and
Speaker 4: just went and bought a book, but through your website,
Speaker 4: then you get a little.
Speaker 1: Kickback because you click the link on my site to
Speaker 1: go to Amazon. Then Amazon says, oh, we're giving Jake
Speaker 1: a kickback for that. It's called it's affiliates programming. It's wow,
Speaker 1: but it says it doesn't cost the people were buying
Speaker 1: anything anything extra. It just is you're helping to advertise Amazon.
Speaker 1: I guess it's their thing.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 5: Wow, and so such a cool world.
Speaker 1: It's cool.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I like it. I like the people go on
Speaker 5: walks while they look at their individual phones. It's better
Speaker 5: than having some mundane conversation, forced conversations.
Speaker 2: Better than having your boyfriend walk behind.
Speaker 4: You with a bag with a pocket full of shit
Speaker 4: planning is death to leave you because he hates your
Speaker 4: deut so much.
Speaker 5: Yeah, man, that's possibility.
Speaker 1: Which one of them? It's not the one hundred percent true,
Speaker 1: she could be the one who's leaving, just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm out walking the dog.
Speaker 5: When did she get off the hook tonight?
Speaker 1: We're faking her death.
Speaker 6: He's in on it, whispering to the dog.
Speaker 4: I'm just going to give you enough hamburger to knock
Speaker 4: you out, and that way.
Speaker 1: You won't have to testify.
Speaker 5: Your little neighbor looks like he's quick to anger. Anyone
Speaker 5: who walks with their hands and fists, you know it's
Speaker 5: just ready to fly off.
Speaker 6: Then with your hands.
Speaker 5: No, no, I'm a carefree guy.
Speaker 2: You're more blade hands. Like Tom Cruise running.
Speaker 5: Yes, they walk like Tom Cruise running.
Speaker 6: He runs in a way.
Speaker 1: He runs in a way that no one runs that way,
Speaker 1: and it makes you think, like, do I not know
Speaker 1: how to run? That's how good of an actor. Tom
Speaker 1: Cruise is, like, I've never seen anyone do that. I
Speaker 1: must be doing everything wrong.
Speaker 6: We all must be doing him wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Alon Hubbard told him how to run. Yeah he
Speaker 1: did it.
Speaker 5: God I admire him.
Speaker 2: God damn, he's good.
Speaker 1: He's great. He is great.
Speaker 5: Thanks for being on.
Speaker 2: Do you need a ride, Yeah, we love it when
Speaker 2: we pick you up.
Speaker 5: And if you're in Detroit, go see him. I'm going
Speaker 5: to be in town for a while. I have nothing
Speaker 5: to plug. Watch almost genius on True TV.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, your TV show almost genius.
Speaker 5: It's a show that.
Speaker 1: Host can you can you can? I watch it on
Speaker 1: Amazon Prime.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think just True TV.
Speaker 1: I want to watch it. My dv R thing turns
Speaker 1: itself off, so I can't program it to record things
Speaker 1: and count on it. And I need to call customer service.
Speaker 1: But it's in my wife's name, so she has to
Speaker 1: call customer services.
Speaker 5: Now you have to talk to her about talking to someone,
Speaker 5: and she.
Speaker 6: Doesn't want to call customer service.
Speaker 2: No one does.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 6: This is why.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fake your death, don't actually kill yourself actually killing yourself.
Speaker 2: Render after you fix that, start over in Santa Barbara.
Speaker 5: That sounds great.
Speaker 1: That's not far enough away. I don't think it's not.
Speaker 1: I don't think so people will find you.
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, don't blame me if it goes along.
Speaker 5: You'll see Karen.
Speaker 2: Closing arguments, what are you doing? Not much? I'm waiting
Speaker 2: to hear about a job starting.
Speaker 4: So I'm truly in a very frightening, excited middle ground.
Speaker 5: I bet I'm we'll see. I know a little bit
Speaker 5: about it can divulged too much right now, because that's
Speaker 5: a Omen.
Speaker 1: It sounds exciting, so to the Omen, this time they
Speaker 1: already made one.
Speaker 2: The parents are filled with the devil.
Speaker 5: Yeah, twister roofs, grown ups up the corn.
Speaker 1: It takes place on earth, but everyone is possessed by
Speaker 1: the devil except for one person.
Speaker 5: You mean, like thirty five other movies. Sorry I didn't listen.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, guys, he's done it.
Speaker 5: Stick a fork in it.
Speaker 1: It's hard to finish this thing. I mean, once you've
Speaker 1: got batteries. It's who wants to stop talking?
Speaker 2: This should be a four hour podcast.
Speaker 5: I've been okay, we'll talk about Thanks for listening to
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride? You've been listening to d Yan?
Speaker 6: Here are out?
Speaker 1: I leave?
Speaker 5: You want to way back?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 6: Do you want to me?
Speaker 3: There doesn't matter how much that did you claim? Give
Speaker 3: us time and a turn and al and gay. We
Speaker 3: want to send you off inside. Do you want to
Speaker 3: welcome you back home?
Speaker 4: Tell us all about every scared he was?
Speaker 1: It?
Speaker 5: Fine? Now porn? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do your need ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need
Speaker 5: With Karen and Chris