Speaker 1: Nikki Glaser Podcasts. Hello here, I am welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: It's Niki Glazer podcast. We are recreating the magic of
Speaker 1: yesterday's episode with the same crew, different day, next day,
Speaker 1: different studio.
Speaker 2: Different place. It's like a sequel. They like it so
Speaker 2: much they bought the sequel. They have to update the
Speaker 2: background around people. Wuldn't realize there was a different.
Speaker 3: Rush Hour where rush Hour the first one's in la
Speaker 3: and then they go to China.
Speaker 2: Then they go to China. Oh yeah, all these uh
Speaker 2: heck octagons.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we've been here before. Yesterday. Noah was saying
Speaker 1: the podcast was so good. She was saying that on
Speaker 1: the Girls Chat today, and I was like, was it
Speaker 1: because we were like on top of each other? Was
Speaker 1: that like does that add an energy to it? Or
Speaker 1: was it just like, you know, sometimes we have good
Speaker 1: podcasts here too. It's not I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: the space I'm trying to like what makes well?
Speaker 2: Without a doubt, being in person is five times better
Speaker 2: than being on zoo, Yes, because you can just talk,
Speaker 2: you know, You're like creamer at a restaurant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 3: I mean we were on fire yesterday and I feel
Speaker 3: like we're on fire today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm feeling the energy.
Speaker 3: During the pre show, somebody came in and like, should
Speaker 3: we start recording? This is some good.
Speaker 1: Podcast where we were talking about what just at the table.
Speaker 1: It's a table that we're at. We could set it.
Speaker 2: It's unusual.
Speaker 1: Brian Frangie, Sean O'Connor, Andrew Colin.
Speaker 2: Yes, all here, can't buy a table like this at Ikea. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can no look at it.
Speaker 1: There's wait, I think you could.
Speaker 2: Thought it was only too late.
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 1: I mean I like Ikea. I'm complimenting it by saying
Speaker 1: that absolutely.
Speaker 2: I'm saying literally, you can't like this is not for
Speaker 2: sale at Ikea.
Speaker 1: Okay know that On.
Speaker 4: The IKEEA app.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Andrew was just saying, well, I was just how
Speaker 1: did we get into.
Speaker 3: Something circling each other as problemeric Yeah it wasn't good.
Speaker 1: But Andrew asked what, like what he should get done?
Speaker 1: And I was just saying that chin implants. I just
Speaker 1: read a thing. I guess it was in New York
Speaker 1: magazine or I forget where, but they did a report
Speaker 1: about how chin implants are the new cosmetic surgery that
Speaker 1: every man is getting. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not there anymore.
Speaker 3: It's gone.
Speaker 1: So but it was, uh, well, it was interesting to
Speaker 1: me because it seems affordable to me. It was twelve
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, and for what I can tell, it really
Speaker 1: does change the shape of your face in a way
Speaker 1: that I haven't seen male plastic surgery in a subtle
Speaker 1: way that like, I know all the girl tricks to
Speaker 1: make it look like you haven't had work done, and
Speaker 1: people just go, wow, you look a lot prettier, and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not doing all of them, but I'm
Speaker 1: aware of when they happen, when they're subtle and you
Speaker 1: can't really tell someone's had plastic surgery. And I think
Speaker 1: the chin implant for guys is that subtle thing.
Speaker 2: I'm hotter, but we don't know why, like a thicker chin.
Speaker 1: I think they just like add I don't know, but
Speaker 1: it's like around twelve thousand dollars, and I don't think
Speaker 1: it's like a really intense like recovery. I'm not advocating
Speaker 1: for it because you don't. No one really needs one,
Speaker 1: but to me, it was like, oh, I would make
Speaker 1: I would probably do that.
Speaker 2: Well, if you're a man and you feel like you
Speaker 2: need a chin, implant if the next step is just
Speaker 2: to grow a beard because that covers up anything.
Speaker 3: No, but like the beard, everyone knows the beard. The
Speaker 3: beard is actually is like a twenties trick. I do
Speaker 3: think a chin implant is.
Speaker 2: A twenties trick.
Speaker 3: It is like I like, I listen, I'm always like
Speaker 3: kind of unshaven, but like it is a trick to
Speaker 3: like distract.
Speaker 1: It's like a comb over.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if you get this chin, you go in
Speaker 3: and you go give me the leno. You're coming out.
Speaker 3: You're so confident.
Speaker 1: I think you want the rife.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I want Yeah, you definitely don't want the leno.
Speaker 3: But like I bet it's like six thousand dollars less the.
Speaker 1: Thing, and it comes with a denim ensemble.
Speaker 3: That's what they put on you for the surgery.
Speaker 1: The thing is, I don't think the only reason this
Speaker 1: is like happening right now is because there's a trend
Speaker 1: in men needing structured faces. Like I was reading this
Speaker 1: article and it was like, that's what's in right now
Speaker 1: is not like these doe like kind of like more
Speaker 1: dadbod like. But the thing is, you might not want
Speaker 1: to get it because it might not be in that
Speaker 1: this is all because of right now, handsome squid word
Speaker 1: is like the vibe.
Speaker 5: Right, But then your face is so structured and everything,
Speaker 5: and like your body is like fucking droopy.
Speaker 4: What are you gonna do? It doesn't add up? So
Speaker 4: then what do you? Then you have to work out?
Speaker 1: I mean this is this is you should not do
Speaker 1: this if you're not someone who cares about the entire package.
Speaker 1: Oh I care, That's what I'm saying this. You're eligible
Speaker 1: for this. I feel like like you you have focused
Speaker 1: on working like you want to be seen as hot.
Speaker 4: I believe I think, yes, yeah, you.
Speaker 1: Could taste it and you felt it before I.
Speaker 4: Have as a young man, I taste You're a good.
Speaker 1: Looking guy, like there's no question about it. But I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, like, I think you're a good candidate because
Speaker 1: this is will it will make you do that face
Speaker 1: in the mirror that I've seen you do so many
Speaker 1: times that you got caught doing when I was on
Speaker 1: set my mom, and you should have been on set too,
Speaker 1: but you were in my dressing room using my mirror
Speaker 1: to take your shirt off.
Speaker 4: I thought it didn't want to work down.
Speaker 1: Writing for me on f Way Island and you were
Speaker 1: supposed to be on sets giving in my ear.
Speaker 4: You didn't have to know.
Speaker 1: My ring light, and you wouldn't have never been You
Speaker 1: would have never been caught if later on a PA
Speaker 1: that hadn't come up to me to give me a
Speaker 1: water bottle. And it was the PA who caught you
Speaker 1: in there, and you got embarrassed because you thought the
Speaker 1: PA was gonna tell me, which he was not, So
Speaker 1: you just outed yourself and go. He saw me naked,
Speaker 1: he saw me with my shirt off.
Speaker 4: I was posing in.
Speaker 1: You just you completely just like broke down and told
Speaker 1: me all the truth. It was so funny.
Speaker 5: I was kidding, man, I was actually really good jokes.
Speaker 1: Now seeing that guy, knowing that guy that likes to
Speaker 1: save Nikki. It's not fair. You always get to look
Speaker 1: in the mirror. I don't get to look in the
Speaker 1: mirror at all because you're a writer. Y.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it seems like this has been on your mind. No,
Speaker 4: I actually I know, I know, I know.
Speaker 1: It was funny.
Speaker 4: I was just I was a good mirror. It was
Speaker 4: a good you find a good mirror you ruin your
Speaker 4: whole career.
Speaker 3: Yeah you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're defensive like but Nikki, you get to be
Speaker 1: in the mirror all day long. And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't even like it, but you and and why would
Speaker 1: you get to It's not like I'm hogging it. This
Speaker 1: is unprecedented that a writer should be supplied a ring
Speaker 1: light in a mirror.
Speaker 4: Well, she has to appear on camera. I was next
Speaker 4: to camera. Talk about me being on cameras.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, yeah, we we Like you dressed
Speaker 1: up like a guy who is way past the submission
Speaker 1: age to be on f Way Island, and you were
Speaker 1: like he took a gold chain from one of the guys,
Speaker 1: and like had a button down shirt that you bought
Speaker 1: and and unbuttoned it a lot. And then you walked
Speaker 1: around with your gray chest hair coming out and pretended
Speaker 1: to be a guy named Ragou.
Speaker 4: But the saddest part is, like I I wanted.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's hard not to get swept up in
Speaker 2: the rings. This is so cool.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you were there, you witnessed it.
Speaker 2: It is like fist bumped, I mean, and I felt
Speaker 2: I was in love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really it's intoxic. You want their approval desperately, Yes,
Speaker 1: how do you not listen?
Speaker 3: Being young and hot is like the greatest it's the
Speaker 3: greatest currency we have in America.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's like forty bitcoins. It's like it is.
Speaker 1: It absolutely is, and you should really capitalize on it
Speaker 1: if you can, if you if you want to. I
Speaker 1: don't forgrudge anyone just being like a hot specimen.
Speaker 2: But what's the name of the man from the Claw,
Speaker 2: the Iron Claw?
Speaker 3: Oh, Jeremy Allen White, No, Zachffron, Yeah, why can't remember?
Speaker 1: It is the least movie I would ever think.
Speaker 3: He's the guy from the Nerd Hottest in that movie,
Speaker 3: Harris Dickinson I think is hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's the guy from Baby Girl. Yeah, Oh that guy,
Speaker 1: that twitchy way. He acts like someone did an impression
Speaker 1: of him, and I was turned on by the impression.
Speaker 1: Do you remember did you see someone doing.
Speaker 3: I did see somebody in appress.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize I was attracted to the Harris guy
Speaker 1: from the movie until I saw the impression. I was like,
Speaker 1: I got like kind of lit up from it because
Speaker 1: it was just baby good.
Speaker 3: You saw.
Speaker 2: The he's the male model and so he has he
Speaker 2: sucked up his chin falling on a kitchen table. They say, yes,
Speaker 2: he didn't get an implant.
Speaker 1: There, No, that looks like there was like there's like
Speaker 1: some metal in his like jaw, like kind of like Kanye. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Kanye seems to have that too.
Speaker 2: But he got a car. He didn't wear a safe belt.
Speaker 2: He didn't safe belt. Yeah, and that's why he got
Speaker 2: his jaw wired ship and then that's why his jaws
Speaker 2: a little bit.
Speaker 3: I just want to say every a lot of your
Speaker 3: listeners think I'm gay and me being like, he's not
Speaker 3: even in the top three on it's not really good.
Speaker 1: You're not gay, but you do have strong opinions.
Speaker 3: A lot of about mail looks usually.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I want everyone to blindly like lock in
Speaker 1: a number. No, so Ryan Reynolds one to ten of
Speaker 1: hotness and you have to blindly lock in a number.
Speaker 1: Now you're all gonna stay at the same time. And
Speaker 1: I saw TikTok about like something that that reveals about you. Okay,
Speaker 1: so one to ten Ryan Reynolds, are you ready? Yeah, three, two, one,
Speaker 1: n eight you said eight Andrew nine nine. You guys
Speaker 1: are all straight. This woman took a poll of like
Speaker 1: forty guys of like a really you know, half queer
Speaker 1: men and half straight men, and she found that on average,
Speaker 1: queer people, queer men rate Ryan Reynolds like a six
Speaker 1: point five, like to like seven and six is and
Speaker 1: any straight guy it's always eight and above.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, this has.
Speaker 2: Proved them really straight. I was going to give him
Speaker 2: a nine, but then I was like comparing him to
Speaker 2: Hugh Jackman, who was like, that's a ten. So I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna make to you to Hugh Jackman's a ten.
Speaker 3: Hughes hotter than Ryan, Right, Hugh.
Speaker 2: Was hotter than I. Like, you know, he's got what hair?
Speaker 3: What to say? If I says.
Speaker 1: Everyone has a type, I think I know some people
Speaker 1: who ross would be their ten. I love when gay
Speaker 1: guys have like very specific type that it's just it's
Speaker 1: that's why they have so many names for different kinds
Speaker 1: of body types, like they will really I don't.
Speaker 2: Know any bear, twink bear, bear, wink bear, otters are
Speaker 2: not just these.
Speaker 3: Are not just things.
Speaker 1: Ways to describe.
Speaker 2: Different They congrats to r f K by the way,
Speaker 2: for a denomination pushed through.
Speaker 1: Oh really does that just happen? Well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's almost there.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well someone called oh my god, I where did
Speaker 1: I see? They called the Daily Show? Some not enough
Speaker 1: people are watching the Daily show, Like, every time I
Speaker 1: see a clip, I'm like, this is some of the best.
Speaker 2: Writers with John Stewart, only with any with any of
Speaker 2: the like.
Speaker 1: When they do the segments with all the you know,
Speaker 1: guest hosts coming in and everyone. But they called him
Speaker 1: a leather bag of coughs. And I really love that
Speaker 1: because it's just so simple.
Speaker 2: But you haven't more people watch the John Stewart monologues
Speaker 2: on YouTube than they do on the TV show. Every
Speaker 2: monologue he releases on YouTube gets that makes circa three
Speaker 2: million to four mint.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no one's watching TV shows when they air on TV.
Speaker 2: No, it's over. Those days are over and they're never
Speaker 2: coming back. It's going to turn into uh. I think
Speaker 2: it'll return to like a cable like system, but it'll
Speaker 2: be streaming still. But it is sad to think, like
Speaker 2: the days of turning on your television and then just
Speaker 2: something being on and then like I do it at hotels?
Speaker 4: Is that nice?
Speaker 1: I just put it on, even though it could let
Speaker 1: me connect to Netflix.
Speaker 6: I go.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like like connecting and doing scanning the qrver. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna watch Beat Bobby play because that is
Speaker 1: on and that is trusty and I know where I
Speaker 1: am in the show when I turn it on.
Speaker 3: Beat Bobby Play and diner, drives and dives are all
Speaker 3: I watch at hotel.
Speaker 1: Do you watch me, Bobby Flay? I don't do diners
Speaker 1: and drivings and drives.
Speaker 3: I do I of diners, driver, drive ins and dies.
Speaker 3: And I love Bobby Flay. I love the Food Network.
Speaker 3: I think the Food Network is the best chat.
Speaker 2: I'll have their own stream.
Speaker 1: Bobby Play is a perfect TV show because you like
Speaker 1: it just is you. They they two chefs make something
Speaker 1: and they they get no mystery and greeting like Iron
Speaker 1: Chef style, and then they then one of them wins
Speaker 1: based on the judges eating and I did the show
Speaker 1: and then that that chef who wins is like the
Speaker 1: thing that I do best. The thing I'm most famous
Speaker 1: for is my empanadus, my grandmother's passed down tradition, and
Speaker 1: they're like and Bobby just has to find out what
Speaker 1: they do. He is no blindly has no idea what
Speaker 1: he has to cook, and then he goes head to
Speaker 1: head with someone with their best dish. The thing I'm
Speaker 1: known for that they started a restaurant in their town.
Speaker 1: That's the Hitch restaurant and then he wins half the time.
Speaker 2: You if you lose, that is so.
Speaker 3: So upsetting, It's so crazy. I love it so much
Speaker 3: because it's like the most competitive you could possibly be.
Speaker 3: Is like really he's like take you know, like an
Speaker 3: Italian guy doing his like grandmother's like spaghetti sauce and
Speaker 3: he beats them. Yeah, and like you must feel incredible.
Speaker 3: That's like more competitive than Jordan.
Speaker 4: But does this show you that cooking might not be
Speaker 4: as hard as we think it is.
Speaker 1: No? I think that that that's just someone who is
Speaker 1: like an expert.
Speaker 4: Yeah everything, he's just Yeah, it's blind taste.
Speaker 1: Find taste testing by and they don't do the same
Speaker 1: thing ben they bring in like food.
Speaker 2: C Maybe it is like random. Maybe it's like a
Speaker 2: coin flip. And that's why it's fifty to fifty because
Speaker 2: it's like half the time he wins half. If he
Speaker 2: won nine out of ten times, then I'd be like, oh, wow,
Speaker 2: he's the best dress.
Speaker 3: No, it's the precision though, because they're not just basing
Speaker 3: it on taste, they're basing it on presentation. They're basing
Speaker 3: it like like usage of the ingredients and all that
Speaker 3: that good.
Speaker 2: I believe that.
Speaker 1: And he's done this show like fifty seasons and there's
Speaker 1: like thirty episodes of season, so he's done this kind
Speaker 1: of competition style like he's primed to.
Speaker 2: He actually has an advantage because it's almost like home
Speaker 2: field advantage because he's cooking in the kitchen. He cooked
Speaker 2: in forty times that week.
Speaker 1: Yes, and that's why they throw in like the celebrities
Speaker 1: to like fuck him up and like you know, just
Speaker 1: mess with him and kind of like rasm like that.
Speaker 3: They come over, like they come over and they or
Speaker 3: they'll be like shouting at him, but they're not doing
Speaker 3: that to the person who does it, like shot.
Speaker 1: But it's all done when like everyone loves Bobby, so
Speaker 1: it's all done kind of like do we have Like
Speaker 1: when they were like you got to fuck him up
Speaker 1: and like that. I don't really want to like interrupt
Speaker 1: what he's doing. That seems distracting, so I just like
Speaker 1: said a couple jokes and stuff, But how happened? They
Speaker 1: just like you know, it's segmented out. They really cook
Speaker 1: in real time, which I thought was cool. It's like
Speaker 1: they you are waiting there as they make the food
Speaker 1: and then they're like okay, Nikki, go go see what's
Speaker 1: going on over there, and then you just go over
Speaker 1: and you're like supposed to fuck with Bobby and then
Speaker 1: support the other person because you were supposed to be
Speaker 1: rooting against him. It's like ever, we're trying to beat
Speaker 1: him and we're like mad when he wins. But I
Speaker 1: was like, no, I kind of want him to win.
Speaker 1: I think it's.
Speaker 3: It really is. It's like rewarding excellence.
Speaker 2: I mean that's why people want to see.
Speaker 4: Is there a dish you guys can cook that you think? No,
Speaker 4: what could I beat by?
Speaker 1: That's like asking me about geography.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't cook. I've never You've never made eggs.
Speaker 3: I've made a grilled cheese. Like, really, you've made eggs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've made eggs, poorly made eggs.
Speaker 2: But like, what if you if you had to go
Speaker 2: on the show and it's off against Bobby play what dish?
Speaker 1: Don't make me do that.
Speaker 3: I'm not even kidding. If I had to face Bobby Fly,
Speaker 3: I would put my head in the oven.
Speaker 1: Like an avocado toasts simple and it's raw ingredients. I
Speaker 1: don't have to like cook anything, and I think it
Speaker 1: can make a little like a delicious thing. With like
Speaker 1: the way my mom I would like. I would even
Speaker 1: put like a sweetness like a jelly on it, maybe
Speaker 1: like which would be unexpected and I don't think would
Speaker 1: even work, but like, and then I would add some
Speaker 1: kind of way to crunch it, like can I just
Speaker 1: stay with avocado toast, which I'm literally obsessed with. I
Speaker 1: don't want full avocados on it. I want it mushed up.
Speaker 2: Do the mushing me chop little design.
Speaker 1: I don't like avocados unless they're guacamolid out alright, I
Speaker 1: don't discuss. I get them out of my because sushi rolls,
Speaker 1: because I don't like the texture. It just feels like
Speaker 1: they're rotten.
Speaker 3: It's yeah, it's the worst texture. I think.
Speaker 1: Agreed, what's the best texture? Rice Crispi's after they've been
Speaker 1: sitting for a minute.
Speaker 4: I agree, And.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm trying to get something better.
Speaker 3: I want to I want a crisp cookie. I love.
Speaker 2: I love a crisp with a softness in the middle, or.
Speaker 3: Just the softness like honestly the outside, a little soft.
Speaker 1: On the little soft on the inside, or like UZI
Speaker 1: out of the oven, like I want it out of
Speaker 1: the oven.
Speaker 3: I want like gotta be Yeah, like OUI gooey is
Speaker 3: what I'm looking for. You're not talking take I am
Speaker 3: not beating the gay.
Speaker 1: You just don't like.
Speaker 4: Crem brew l crembrew.
Speaker 1: Gay krember lay. I think can be that can that
Speaker 1: can be like eggs in terms of consistency, can be
Speaker 1: real off and red. If it's too funny, it could be.
Speaker 2: There's quite a few breakfast items that are not good
Speaker 2: unless they're mashed up, like uh, eggs as well. I
Speaker 2: don't think, I don't I don't like eggs.
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't hard boiled an animal eats that animal.
Speaker 1: Hardwore The middle of a hard boil egg where it's
Speaker 1: like gray, Yeah, like chalky looking is one of the
Speaker 1: worst things I could ever imagine.
Speaker 5: What's worst peeling a hard boiled egg or chomping a
Speaker 5: hard egg whites?
Speaker 3: Yeah, though is pretty I'm a scrambled egg whites. Boy,
Speaker 3: I'm only I only like which is a second. But
Speaker 3: it's hard. It's like there's like when it's hard, consistency
Speaker 3: doesn't Yeah, like yeah, some com i'd probably.
Speaker 2: I'm glad that's what you bring to the Bobby play.
Speaker 1: We'll be back over that. So yeah, I told Andrew uh,
Speaker 1: that he would be a good candidate for Yeah, surgery.
Speaker 2: So I have a question, because is there a surgery
Speaker 2: that you can get where you make one half of
Speaker 2: your face exactly the same as the other half of.
Speaker 1: Your sause that's like the ideal?
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, that's what?
Speaker 2: Well, because I like, I feel like I have a
Speaker 2: good side in a and I'm not as good side?
Speaker 4: Can we guess? Can we guess?
Speaker 1: I don't even want I would never do that.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I've never want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to free I don't want to confirm
Speaker 1: your deepest fhere.
Speaker 2: Well, Well, if you bad side is good, then I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh bad side, Oh you will verify the bad side.
Speaker 2: And then you did this once in the pod and
Speaker 2: you were like, I see it. I know I have
Speaker 2: a bad side. Choose it's not a bad side. It's
Speaker 2: just like not as good as the other side. The
Speaker 2: other side is like exceptional, and the the other side
Speaker 2: is like a good team.
Speaker 1: I never know when people say what's your good side?
Speaker 1: And pictures I've never known, but I definitely have one.
Speaker 1: I just can't memorize it.
Speaker 2: You have a bad side, yeah, for their pictures?
Speaker 1: I hate of myself and I'm always like, why do
Speaker 1: I hate that? But I think it's because of the side.
Speaker 1: But so many people in doing meet and greets know
Speaker 1: what they're good and bad side is, they like have
Speaker 1: memorized it. I just I never even think so.
Speaker 2: Is there a surgery you can get where you just
Speaker 2: make it the same?
Speaker 1: What every surgery is is that it's correct in that way,
Speaker 1: like when I've gotten botox or even like even with makeup.
Speaker 1: They'll like do different things on one side, so they
Speaker 1: I think that's part of the thing, is like we'll
Speaker 1: do more units on this side to pull this up.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think I would like.
Speaker 2: Do anything per se. But it would be interesting to
Speaker 2: go into a plastic surgery and just say what's wrong,
Speaker 2: Like what is it that's making they do?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Circle? Literally what they Yeah, I want to get the
Speaker 1: circle I don't want to get, Okay, So they let
Speaker 1: me tell you what they do. They like, look at you,
Speaker 1: he holds your face like this like I've had I've
Speaker 1: been consulted for like surgery on my face twice. One
Speaker 1: time it was just they set pictures and you have
Speaker 1: to like turn and then the other he just looked
Speaker 1: at me like we were about to kiss. Like this close,
Speaker 1: like and he's just looking and he's going like pulling this,
Speaker 1: doing this, and it's like intense and you're trying like
Speaker 1: not to look in his eyes because you might feel
Speaker 1: something and it's really awkward. And then and then they
Speaker 1: just suggest things and you hope that it's the same
Speaker 1: things you were thinking, because if it's not, it's just like,
Speaker 1: but I was right about what I thought I needed.
Speaker 1: But then the thing that I was going to get,
Speaker 1: like a lip lift, which is where they take out
Speaker 1: like a little bit of this. Oh I need that, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you would actually be a good candidate for it.
Speaker 4: I have so much skin.
Speaker 2: Teeth, okay, teeth, I need a lot. I hated my teeth, man,
Speaker 2: I don't you hate your teeth?
Speaker 4: No, I don't hate it. I don't hate them hate them.
Speaker 3: Say now, but when you have these luscious d s ls,
Speaker 3: like my secret DSL tho I d s ls, I
Speaker 3: think you have.
Speaker 1: You your upper lip is literally what every girl dreams of. Happened.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're not.
Speaker 1: Everyone needs to go to YouTube right now and look
Speaker 1: at O'Connor's upper It is perfect. Yeah, it's like it
Speaker 1: looks like you.
Speaker 3: El their list. Oh you grew up in Long Island
Speaker 3: and never heard that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know what t h O is?
Speaker 2: Th h o titty honk and ovaries.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, no t.
Speaker 1: JO have that titty hart on. It's like what you
Speaker 1: can see through.
Speaker 3: Like Jennifer Andison my friends throughout.
Speaker 2: So dick's sucking lips huh No, I never heard of
Speaker 2: that one before. I know DSL is like a type
Speaker 2: of internet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. And then it was like a perfect
Speaker 3: insult for people to always say to me when I
Speaker 3: was like seventeen, because yeah, d S al me because
Speaker 3: I don't have those no.
Speaker 1: Dick sucking lips in high school?
Speaker 3: No, no, you don't. They dsls what called me white
Speaker 3: jay Z it was.
Speaker 1: That's actually kind of cool.
Speaker 3: That was pretty cool at the time. It was the
Speaker 3: coolest time to be compared to jay Z.
Speaker 4: God, did you prove that they were ing by blowing them?
Speaker 1: Made? I swear to God us, I'm so angry.
Speaker 3: Suck your dick right now, I'll terrible.
Speaker 1: My lips are, Yeah, those are good ones.
Speaker 5: I got made from my nipples got made from them.
Speaker 5: I got I'm gonna get smaller nipples.
Speaker 3: Are that you got PEPs and they're PEPs.
Speaker 1: What PEPs mean?
Speaker 4: You never heard pepperoni?
Speaker 1: I've heard of.
Speaker 3: Pepper There was a lot of like in the high
Speaker 3: school locker room, people would if you had anything outside
Speaker 3: of the normal nipple. Like people were like like.
Speaker 4: Saucers did make a shower in gym class.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like in school bacon you would have to do
Speaker 3: one on one with your gym teacher. What we didn't
Speaker 3: on friends.
Speaker 1: The tailor isn't supposed to pop your balls in prison,
Speaker 1: so they don't tailor fans like that. Yeah in prison.
Speaker 5: Why do guys though, hate other guys with bigger nipples
Speaker 5: like they like women with nipples?
Speaker 4: Women have bigger nipples? Is that what it is?
Speaker 2: Like you much, It's not like it's attacking us.
Speaker 1: It's feminine. If you like it on women, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: like something on a man. Yes, he's getting Even though
Speaker 1: guys having Lusia's lips is in, it's still like was
Speaker 1: used against you as like that's a girl thing.
Speaker 3: Yes, And I remember like looking at the like the
Speaker 3: soccer players, they all have like whispers of nipples, and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I wish I had.
Speaker 4: This kid had tiny little nipples.
Speaker 5: And I always said if I had your fucking nipples,
Speaker 5: I would look so jet like, yeah all the time,
Speaker 5: he had the best nipples there were.
Speaker 1: Get your nipples done to it. It would be such
Speaker 1: a minor procedure, and it's something that you think about
Speaker 1: a lot, and then you would be free to be
Speaker 1: like the Florida man. You're meant to be, like comfortable
Speaker 1: with your shirt, like comfortable with your shirt. I can.
Speaker 2: In all seriousness, why a guy white man start.
Speaker 1: Writings instead gold enough Island.
Speaker 2: Why men in school would make fun of big nipples
Speaker 2: or anything of feminine is because if a man even
Speaker 2: makes them feel attracted in any way at all, they'll
Speaker 2: get angry because they'll feel like, oh no, I'm gay. Gay,
Speaker 2: it's an attack.
Speaker 3: It makes fun of you.
Speaker 2: So it feels like a little you know, twink walking
Speaker 2: around and he's looking hot and like and for just
Speaker 2: for a second, a straight guy looks at him and
Speaker 2: gets a little bit of a boner.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, they're angry about the boner you gave.
Speaker 2: That's so true.
Speaker 1: It's so true. That's why, like I would hear stories
Speaker 1: of you know, there's a lot of gay guys that
Speaker 1: are attracted to straight men. They just almost like it's
Speaker 1: like a challenge. It's almost probably like a fear of
Speaker 1: uh abandonment. A guy will that's not gay will never
Speaker 1: actually be with you, so you're not risking anything, but
Speaker 1: they do risk something because guys after they come have
Speaker 1: that like post nut clarity of like a straight guy
Speaker 1: that's getting his first blowjob from a guy and they
Speaker 1: get like violent because they're so mad that they're gay
Speaker 1: and this guy fucking sucked it out of them. I
Speaker 1: wasn't gay until you did this, And so that's like
Speaker 1: a really yeah that there's an anger that comes with that.
Speaker 1: I mean that goes with anything, like anytime you see
Speaker 1: something that reminds you of the thing that you're afraid of,
Speaker 1: scared of being it. It's like it's honestly, the Dane
Speaker 1: Cook joke, which I always think about boiled down of
Speaker 1: when he's like trips on the sidewalk and he's like
Speaker 1: fucking like he gets like mad, like the streaming, like
Speaker 1: the reaction is so overblown because you're so embarrassed.
Speaker 2: Did we give Dane Cook his flowers?
Speaker 1: We did give him flowers all the time.
Speaker 2: I can't wait for his comeback album, not to call
Speaker 2: it a comeback album. But he's working on an hour
Speaker 2: that is amazing.
Speaker 1: Wait did you see it?
Speaker 2: Well, I saw it several times while we were going
Speaker 2: around for really he was up before you, like maybe
Speaker 2: like three or four. I was always in the zone
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: His hour is going to be amazing, This is going
Speaker 2: to be scene.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I I love his material.
Speaker 2: Yeah I would.
Speaker 1: I would watch the hell out of that again. Lisa
Speaker 1: Tregger Special is the one that I'm like obsessed.
Speaker 3: With right now in like a way that is just amazing,
Speaker 3: so funny. Yeah, it really just made me laugh so much.
Speaker 1: I went on like a deep dive of her like
Speaker 1: on different podcasts, and I just even I'm talking like
Speaker 1: her right now, it's like it rubs. I have to
Speaker 1: stop watching her because I'm like doing.
Speaker 2: She's so casual and calm and comfortable on stage.
Speaker 1: But also neurotic.
Speaker 3: Yeah sure, yeah, but it's like it's like so inspirational
Speaker 3: to be that like so clear about who you are.
Speaker 3: It doesn't like the materials like just falling out of her.
Speaker 1: Yes, she's so relaxed, yeah she Yeah, but even it's
Speaker 1: so cute because she's like trying to keep in mind
Speaker 1: that her hair needs to be a certain way for
Speaker 1: like the cameras, So she's like kind of being cute
Speaker 1: about like fixing it and being in the right light.
Speaker 1: So there's a little like anxiety, but it's still like
Speaker 1: she's so yeah, it was, it's just you feel like
Speaker 1: you're friends with her. A very conversational.
Speaker 3: There's a manic confidence.
Speaker 4: Yes that like you.
Speaker 3: I mean, like as somebody who's manic. I wish I
Speaker 3: had the confidence because it was it was like it
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, no, it was inspiring.
Speaker 1: Yeah, really, like it's cool to see something that makes
Speaker 1: you go like, oh, I want to do something, Like
Speaker 1: I don't know how I do more that, but that
Speaker 1: was fun.
Speaker 2: I remember when her and her Chicago crew came to
Speaker 2: New York. You remember this, and they just took over there.
Speaker 2: They took within like three months, and I was just
Speaker 2: like it's over for us. I mean they were all
Speaker 2: so good, all of them.
Speaker 1: They did a lot of stand up in Chicago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they all came together as a team and
Speaker 2: they were all friends and it was just like and
Speaker 2: there was there was a power vacuum in New York
Speaker 2: because all of like the big name like open mic
Speaker 2: style comics had left gone to La like, uh, you
Speaker 2: were probably gone. I'm assuming Mike Lawrence had left Dan
Speaker 2: Saint Germain.
Speaker 3: I was a big gun at the open all the
Speaker 3: big guns had so.
Speaker 2: There was a power vacuumber that the Chicago people came
Speaker 2: in at the perfect time and they were drafting off
Speaker 2: of the success of their previous cohort like Mullany and
Speaker 2: Hannibal and stuff, and they just took over the scene
Speaker 2: within months. It was like the Germans going into Poland.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's the Chicago people did that for our
Speaker 3: generation too, where it was like Pete Nate, Hannibal Kumal,
Speaker 3: Jared Logan, like they all kind of moved at the
Speaker 3: same It makes.
Speaker 2: Me feel like, man, why didn't I go to Chicago
Speaker 2: after because that cruise was so tight. They were all friends,
Speaker 2: and I started Indiana here this.
Speaker 1: In any way, I always felt like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: You're beyond the pale. It was over.
Speaker 1: I struggled for soul. I was resented coming up in
Speaker 1: the business of like, man, they just but I always
Speaker 1: was like, they're just more talented than me. I guess
Speaker 1: I've never once thought there's been like a few times
Speaker 1: where someone gets something and I'm like they're terrible and
Speaker 1: I don't know, but most of the time I'm just
Speaker 1: like they're probably just better than me.
Speaker 2: The thing about the Chicago cohort that came in, I
Speaker 2: think probably both times we just laid down our arms
Speaker 2: and said, I guess this is VC France.
Speaker 3: Well they're they're they're funny, They're absolutely funny, but they
Speaker 3: also like starting in like Chicago, really it's so local
Speaker 3: and like you are, there's no industry to pull you.
Speaker 3: You're not getting opportunities, so it's like you're bonding with
Speaker 3: each other and like you're just like making each other
Speaker 3: laugh that it really helps to have that like kind
Speaker 3: of scene community friends.
Speaker 1: But then your friend, like I think in any industry
Speaker 1: you get, there's jealousy, then it starts like who's getting what,
Speaker 1: and then the ship talk talking starts and then there's like,
Speaker 1: you know, uh, fission. Is that the word fissiers fishers? Yes? Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3: Because also what inevitably always happens is like when you
Speaker 3: have that community, it all becomes very incestuous. You start
Speaker 3: fucking each other. Then there's like weird divide.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the that's the st.
Speaker 1: Lewis scene had so many like old men and it
Speaker 1: like it was so diverse. It was. There wasn't like
Speaker 1: a young, youthful, like we're the future of comedy kind
Speaker 1: of scene. It was always like old road dogs that
Speaker 1: were never gonna leave town. So there was never like
Speaker 1: a let's all move together, we're doing this together.
Speaker 4: The Florida scene was ridiculous, dude. There was no one.
Speaker 5: There was no one that moved out of well like
Speaker 5: maybe two other comics I could think of that moved
Speaker 5: out of Florida.
Speaker 1: That's why you when you and when you get bigger,
Speaker 1: you it becomes solitary again. There's no scene because you're
Speaker 1: not like doing open mics and you're not hanging out
Speaker 1: all day waiting in line stuff like that. So then
Speaker 1: you get lonely again. And that's why it's been so
Speaker 1: fun to breach a point where you're like, well, now
Speaker 1: I get to make my scene again, and I get
Speaker 1: to pick my scene, and you hang out with comics
Speaker 1: and like you can find that kind of like the
Speaker 1: camaraderie of like a writer's room is so fun when
Speaker 1: it's right.
Speaker 2: When there's now you're the nucleus, you can you can
Speaker 2: get your electrons to I just want to.
Speaker 1: Hang out with friends, Like it's around fucking goal, Like
Speaker 1: all I want in life. My favorite thing is meals
Speaker 1: with friends and just talking and medians and cars, hanging
Speaker 1: after the meal and hoping they don't bring the check
Speaker 1: too soon because I just want to keep hanging and
Speaker 1: I go to the next place.
Speaker 2: Can I just say something about last night? That pancake
Speaker 2: was a disaster?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm thinking about this Swinger's pancake that was
Speaker 2: a miracle, and I was like, this will be at
Speaker 2: least comparable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you weren't. You might have been starving when
Speaker 1: you eat that Swingers pancakes was high from the you
Speaker 1: were Yeah, but no.
Speaker 3: I okay, pancake much pancakes can be really really.
Speaker 1: You know, you dry and flavorless, be body fla.
Speaker 4: I mean that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what makes I say this to Chris?
Speaker 1: I'm like, He's like he all to get like a
Speaker 1: brownie and ice cream be Like I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, how could this be fucked up? Sugar and chocolate?
Speaker 1: Like it's deliteous, It's not to get out of here.
Speaker 5: I don't think I've ever complained about food that I
Speaker 5: can swallow other than like a weird vegetable, like a mushroom.
Speaker 1: Lower spectrum. But I rarely don't like food when I don't,
Speaker 1: almost im proud of myself because I feel like a
Speaker 1: girl that's like it's too rich, Like I can't like,
Speaker 1: I don't discern taste. I like textures, but taste, I
Speaker 1: don't really care.
Speaker 4: Who am I to discern? Did you?
Speaker 3: Did you ever smoke cigarettes?
Speaker 4: I stole a few from my mom.
Speaker 3: I can't picture hell yeah yeah. Now I feel like
Speaker 3: if you've ever smoked cigarettes, like it sucks up your
Speaker 3: taste in a way that like it does make everything
Speaker 3: just muted, yeah, muted and just like sucks no, but
Speaker 3: kind of like no matter what, you're kind of like
Speaker 3: this is pretty good, like you need extra then. Oh
Speaker 3: so that's why nothing's ever too sweet for me, because
Speaker 3: I'm like, this.
Speaker 4: Is starting with such a savory mouth.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, no, I'm starting like where my mouth
Speaker 3: is just always like the smash mouth lead singer's asshole.
Speaker 4: What is that about?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I was like that a combination of.
Speaker 2: But I just want to be clear though, Okay, go ahead,
Speaker 2: what eggs were good? Okay, there was the restaurant's not ship.
Speaker 2: That's that pancake.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 2: That'sn't want the people that think the restaurants. We're not
Speaker 2: going to name it, but like Denny's doesn't have good pancakes.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah we would. I would never go to Donny
Speaker 1: is the lighting one?
Speaker 2: Did you hear what that happens? Waffle House has added
Speaker 2: a fifty cent surcharge per egg because eggs are so expensive.
Speaker 1: So politicized.
Speaker 3: Oh all right, well the reason our bodies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't get an egg breach.
Speaker 3: It's as a bird flu. Like that's why everything is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's an.
Speaker 1: Egg short of us know about it because he fired
Speaker 1: everyone that would tell us about it, going to chargee.
Speaker 1: We smell burning birds and I guess there was a flu,
Speaker 1: like going by what we're noticing in.
Speaker 2: This so many dead. But the Fox News people believe
Speaker 2: that it's Joe Biden's fault, and it's really that there
Speaker 2: was a bird flu that happened while Joe Biden was president.
Speaker 2: But there was a bird flu that killed a lot
Speaker 2: of birds, and that's why there's an egg shortage, and
Speaker 2: that's why eggs are expensive. It doesn't have to do
Speaker 2: with inflation. I mean, I guess it does have to
Speaker 2: do with inflation.
Speaker 1: I think it's funny about we had to murder six
Speaker 1: billion birds and it's like, well you would have anyway,
Speaker 1: like they just you did it like birds laying eggs. No,
Speaker 1: they kill him any They have horrible lives. As soon
Speaker 1: as they're not able to lay eggs. They discard of that.
Speaker 1: They die horrible deaths because of our hands. They don't
Speaker 1: get to like retire out in a pasture.
Speaker 2: They do.
Speaker 3: Definitely, you get elected to Congress in Florida and that
Speaker 3: my shirt off with nipples.
Speaker 2: The people get flu shots, but.
Speaker 4: Not the birds. You laugh, but we go. That's how
Speaker 4: things get made, dude.
Speaker 1: How things happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll talk to Doude about it.
Speaker 2: So are you excited for this weekend coming up? You're
Speaker 2: going to New Orleans?
Speaker 1: Oh? You know, I'm like overwhelmed by it because tomorrow
Speaker 1: I'm on a charter jet. So I'm presenting. This will
Speaker 1: be on Thursday. So tonight I'm presenting at the NFL Honors.
Speaker 1: Take it away from me, I dare you at this
Speaker 1: point I leaked it Mickey Glazers talking ninety seconds at most.
Speaker 1: I'm presenting at the NFL Honors on on Thursday in
Speaker 1: New Orleans, which is a huge do you know what honor?
Speaker 2: Are you allowed to say? What that you don't want to?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not even worth it. It's a cool it's
Speaker 1: actually a cool category that I actually am like one
Speaker 1: hundred percent behind, and like I would be, I'm invested
Speaker 1: in it.
Speaker 3: I like, love's hard to pick.
Speaker 1: I know, the worst one on the phone through a house,
Speaker 1: but uh no it and so I'm just I'm so
Speaker 1: the NFL Honors, which is like being so cool, was like,
Speaker 1: you don't need to. We're gonna fly you out with
Speaker 1: a bunch of other celebrities that are also presenting, like
Speaker 1: we are going to put they have a lot behind
Speaker 1: this to treat us, right, So I'm on a flight
Speaker 1: with celebrities. It's well, I'm being told it is John
Speaker 1: Hammond Shaboozy, so exciting sbozy song, you know Tipsy, which
Speaker 1: is already Yeah I think so, but I know, I know,
Speaker 1: why would.
Speaker 4: You pick hand? Sorry? It was a deep thinking.
Speaker 3: Do stupid? You know who get it?
Speaker 2: The Chicago Crew real name is John Shaboozy.
Speaker 3: Some other people.
Speaker 1: But I'm like kind of stressed out because I'm like,
Speaker 1: my luggage has to be cute. I have to wear
Speaker 1: a cute outfit. I might have to talk the whole time.
Speaker 1: So I was kind of today thinking, Okay, Nikki, you
Speaker 1: know you're being your anti social self. You're getting like
Speaker 1: anxiety because Chris might not be able to come with me.
Speaker 1: So Chris, you generally like can really carry a conversation
Speaker 1: with the famous people. I become the least interesting version
Speaker 1: of myself around people who kind of like are famous
Speaker 1: and want me to be funny. I like kind of
Speaker 1: can't do. I don't know what happens to me. I
Speaker 1: kind of go brain dead. So I'm a little bit
Speaker 1: nervous of that. But I'm also like I don't need
Speaker 1: to do anything I don't want to do. But I
Speaker 1: was asking myself, Nikki, do you want it to be
Speaker 1: a really interesting flight that you talk the whole time
Speaker 1: you have a great time? Is that the story you want?
Speaker 1: Or would you rather like sleep and like get put down,
Speaker 1: like have that vibe. And I'm like one is exhausting
Speaker 1: and the other is comforting. But I think I ultimately
Speaker 1: want a really fun time if I even though.
Speaker 2: It's exactly it's your only shot. If you sleep through it,
Speaker 2: you'll never get to know if it was.
Speaker 1: I wonder what I wish everyone could privately vote secretly
Speaker 1: and then Jeff Probes reads our votes. I mean this
Speaker 1: line up right? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: With his wife and she's nice. I've met her just
Speaker 1: in passing, and he's obviously nice and and funny and
Speaker 1: cool and shaboozy. I met his uh in line the
Speaker 1: other night when I was in line for the red carpet.
Speaker 1: I met his producer. So I've been in with him
Speaker 1: to be like I met Nevian and so I feel
Speaker 1: good with And I've listened to a song a thousand
Speaker 1: times in a plot.
Speaker 2: Where are you flying from to l A two?
Speaker 1: Tomorrow? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Tomorrow, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I think we'll probably do the thing where we talked
Speaker 1: the first half hour that everyone kind of like stops talking.
Speaker 1: We'll pick it back up again when it's on the
Speaker 1: runway and nothing happened even on the runway. I don't
Speaker 1: feel sometimes I don't feel I know what I've read
Speaker 1: not feels.
Speaker 3: You can't even parked, Like parked.
Speaker 1: Is not good, No, it's parking is look. I used
Speaker 1: to feel like I'm not gonna get worried until I
Speaker 1: start to take off. Nope, no, once you are disconnected
Speaker 1: from the gate, start praying.
Speaker 3: I mean, I will.
Speaker 1: I refuse to let being scared of air travel into
Speaker 1: my being. It's not an option for me to be
Speaker 1: able to go. I don't want to do it anymore.
Speaker 1: You know. It crossed my mind of like, Okay, could
Speaker 1: I just switch to you know, buses, but I have
Speaker 1: Statistically obviously a bus crashes are much more likely than
Speaker 1: a plane crash. But it just makes you. It gives
Speaker 1: you a false sense of safety that I do like,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't being on. I told Sean about when
Speaker 1: I was on the bus tour for Bert Kreischer's thing
Speaker 1: a couple of summers ago. I had so much fucking
Speaker 1: anxiety that in the middle of the night I'd be
Speaker 1: laying horizontally and we'd go off a bridge and I
Speaker 1: would die, like drowning in a river because our bus
Speaker 1: driver fell asleep because he like didn't have the right
Speaker 1: amount of red bull. Like I was just I literally
Speaker 1: made my agent or my assistant asked their team like
Speaker 1: about the rules about drivers sleeping and making like seeing
Speaker 1: the schedule of a driver sleeping because I needed to
Speaker 1: know because I just watched the bus drivers face the
Speaker 1: whole thing.
Speaker 3: Think of how much a pilot has to how many
Speaker 3: hours a pilot has climb. This is like a guy
Speaker 3: who was like a shitty basis that became a tour
Speaker 3: bus driver he fell into.
Speaker 1: Don't know the story. They could like amazing and like
Speaker 1: have done it so long and like there's had no
Speaker 1: safety issues, but you don't really know. You just trust
Speaker 1: the bus company that maybe could have the regulations in place.
Speaker 1: You don't know. It's not like the FAA is overseeing
Speaker 1: tour bus. Like there's no fa for us even anymore
Speaker 1: for flying.
Speaker 3: I think being in the sky is the safest place
Speaker 3: in Trump's America, never land.
Speaker 2: That Florida air travel is still the safest form of transportation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen, I just can't let it in.
Speaker 1: It's like ghosts. I can't believe in ghosts because if
Speaker 1: I do, my life is over.
Speaker 3: Listen, this is the best flight to be on. Like Shaboozy,
Speaker 3: he's touched by God, Oh my.
Speaker 1: God, that I memoriam. Yeah, that would be next year,
Speaker 1: would be.
Speaker 3: Of thin be number one right now?
Speaker 1: Like, well, I don't know the popular hat picture that
Speaker 1: I'm using. Really, it's gonna light up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, You're the popular thing is Don Draper and then Chaboozy.
Speaker 1: I think though that I have reached a point where
Speaker 1: I would make the in memoriam.
Speaker 3: I think like.
Speaker 1: Them like, no matter what happens, no matter when I die,
Speaker 1: if the world keeps going away, it is I will
Speaker 1: be on an in memoriam at some point, Like I
Speaker 1: think I've reached that line.
Speaker 3: You've guaranteed an Emmy, like you're no matter. Here's the thing,
Speaker 3: like the next year, we just have to work on
Speaker 3: getting you in that Oscar Is immemorial. And that's like
Speaker 3: to me, that's the gold standard of the memoriams. Yes,
Speaker 3: like that will never bring out jelly roll, like.
Speaker 1: They just saying all right, actually let's go to break.
Speaker 1: We'll do back up a mandy, I will say. The
Speaker 1: other night at the Grammys, Chris Martin did the in
Speaker 1: memoriam and saying that you have all my love whatever
Speaker 1: that song is. And Chris, Chris is not a huge
Speaker 1: cold blay plan on if anything like, I think he's
Speaker 1: probably not one. But we were kind of sitting, we
Speaker 1: were facing this like looking at the stage, but he's
Speaker 1: performing behind us. They had like a stage in the middle.
Speaker 1: So we were just watching the Memoriam and Chris Martin
Speaker 1: singing behind us, like pretty far behind us, and Chris
Speaker 1: just like whispered to me. He was like, can you
Speaker 1: believe that? It sounds like a recording, but it's actually
Speaker 1: Chris Martin live singing to us. Because we were like
Speaker 1: getting touched, like and we turned. I was like, he's
Speaker 1: right there. It was such a magical moment. I really
Speaker 1: want to see Coldplay live, I think, because I think
Speaker 1: he's he's a captivating performer.
Speaker 3: Amazing.
Speaker 1: Really did you really?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And I blamed it on my dead grandpa. Yeah, fix you, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I fix you. Looked over He's like, are you fucking crying?
Speaker 4: Think like grandpa died. He's like, that was six months ago.
Speaker 4: I was like, we haven't buried them yet.
Speaker 3: They can have a lot of songs about about like
Speaker 3: you know, remind you of dead people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they write good slow montage scientists.
Speaker 4: That video was on the backwards. Everything that was huge.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like music video.
Speaker 2: That might be the last ever music video that I
Speaker 2: can remember.
Speaker 1: Really, I remember that one.
Speaker 3: Everything was backwards.
Speaker 2: There's lots of music video.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's your last music video you can think of?
Speaker 2: I watched.
Speaker 3: Today?
Speaker 1: Is that new one?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah? And Gta's back. She's back in a big way.
Speaker 3: She's taken all elements from Bad Romance and has made
Speaker 3: a whole album.
Speaker 2: The album come out like several months.
Speaker 3: That No, it's Mayhem that comes out next month.
Speaker 2: There was another s is not gad back.
Speaker 1: Like a pop way. She's back and done other things.
Speaker 3: She's doing satanic pop again, like she's wearing a lot
Speaker 3: of like red lads while.
Speaker 1: Like I weird again. I guess she's always been weird.
Speaker 1: I kind of fell off her for a while, but
Speaker 1: I love her.
Speaker 3: I love Lady Gaga. She was mean to me in
Speaker 3: two thousand and seven and I've yet, I've been hard
Speaker 3: since and you're not You're not not helping.
Speaker 1: Sean had a show at the same place that Lady
Speaker 1: Gaga had a show, and Lady Goga show would be
Speaker 1: after Shawn's and she like would like be a hurry up,
Speaker 1: you guys, like wrap it up, like we got it?
Speaker 1: Like what was it?
Speaker 3: She was just like, get off, there's no one here,
Speaker 3: Like why are they still performing?
Speaker 1: She said, you're not funny. Guys aren't even funny?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, And I like honestly, it only made
Speaker 3: me like her more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love a mean girl.
Speaker 3: I love a mean girl.
Speaker 4: Before she got big, she was sharing like.
Speaker 3: A It was a Lady Starlight review and she was
Speaker 3: Lady Gaga, who was just a performer. It was a
Speaker 3: Burtless show after our show called Here's the Thing, and
Speaker 3: like we were just doing like the worst comedy ever,
Speaker 3: like just like for eight people. And then like Chelsea
Speaker 3: would be sleeping, you have to wake her up and
Speaker 3: be like you're on, and that she would be making
Speaker 3: fun of us. Man, then I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: all my Italian queens are making fun of each other.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yes, all like the cutting like hot girl,
Speaker 1: mean hot.
Speaker 4: Girl, exhaust to do all.
Speaker 1: That's what that one the documentary was about. She was like,
Speaker 1: you know, her body was breaking down from it and
Speaker 1: she was tired and you know, and she asked her
Speaker 1: and then she embodied her aunt, her dead aunt.
Speaker 3: Janney, her dead aunt was.
Speaker 1: She was reincarnated as her dead aunt, and she told
Speaker 1: her grandma, who is her dead aunt's mom, that I'm
Speaker 1: Joe Anne reincarnated and you can tell her. Grandma's like, no,
Speaker 1: you aren't, Like I know, you're my granddaughter. I love
Speaker 1: you so much, but you are not my daughter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry that you grew up rich. You're not
Speaker 3: interesting very much.
Speaker 1: She plays us song for her grandma, I really like
Speaker 1: I love Lady Gaga. The scene is really funny though,
Speaker 1: because I understand that like idea of like you're only
Speaker 1: making art and trying to become famous and trying to
Speaker 1: become beloved to like show your family members that make
Speaker 1: question your loveability outside of the family, that like see
Speaker 1: other people love me, and like I'm doing, I want
Speaker 1: you to like finally get it. And so she's showing
Speaker 1: her grandma this song that she wrote about her dead grandmother,
Speaker 1: and her grandma's kind of just like or her dead daughter,
Speaker 1: and her grandma's just kind of like I don't really
Speaker 1: want to be in camera listening to this. She's like,
Speaker 1: just listen to it, Grandma, and she like holds the
Speaker 1: phone up to start playing the demo, and her grandma's
Speaker 1: just kind of stone faced, and then she's like, Grandma,
Speaker 1: don't cry. It's okay if you cry, Grandma, but you
Speaker 1: don't have to cry, Grandma, And then she starts the song.
Speaker 1: She just starts like moving the phone from my memory
Speaker 1: that I'm probably exaggerating, but she starts moving the phone
Speaker 1: like closer until it's like up in her grandma's face.
Speaker 1: She's like, Grandma, don't cry, but like desperately wanting her
Speaker 1: grandma to pro that's it.
Speaker 3: She needs to get the shot. But yes, that song
Speaker 3: is incredible. It's such a good song.
Speaker 1: Love that album.
Speaker 3: That whole album is wall to wall bangers. I am
Speaker 3: such a little monster too.
Speaker 1: The one song she does with Florence and Machine Haygirl,
Speaker 1: is like a female anthem of like we all like
Speaker 1: kind of talk shit about each other, but we need
Speaker 1: each other. It's so girl, It's it's sol It's so girl,
Speaker 1: that's the.
Speaker 4: Girl.
Speaker 3: Listen. I know I'm not beating the allegations, but at
Speaker 3: the same time I did have like a mini meltdown
Speaker 3: two weeks ago because on Apple Music on art Pop
Speaker 3: they took off her song with R Kelly, like that's
Speaker 3: no longer on the album, and that song is such
Speaker 3: a fucking banger. All I want to do is listen
Speaker 3: to that song because she's probably yeah, she has to
Speaker 3: want to know, because like the song is heavily implying
Speaker 3: that her and R Kelly are fucking door.
Speaker 1: Man, that's crazy. You just lose a whole song.
Speaker 3: It's such a good song. She should re record I'm
Speaker 3: so Mad at R Kelly again.
Speaker 1: All over, opened up this wound.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ISZI gonna be like making an appearance in the halftime.
Speaker 1: Show two the three. No, he's not tall, he is
Speaker 1: NFL Honors. Yeah, I've seen him a lot. I did
Speaker 1: the iHeart no the oh was it the Yeah? It
Speaker 1: was I heeart like Christmas jingle he performed on that
Speaker 1: was so good, And then saw him at the Grammy
Speaker 1: the other night. He was so good.
Speaker 2: He did I Love that halftime show or something at
Speaker 2: one of the like Christmas Day Football. I forgot which
Speaker 2: one it was.
Speaker 1: I like really heard that song today. I put it on.
Speaker 1: I was like and then for the first time, you
Speaker 1: know when you've heard a song one hundred times, but
Speaker 1: the lyrics suddenly like pop out and you're like, whoa,
Speaker 1: this is like it's about like, what the hell am
Speaker 1: I working for? My My girlfriend wants a burken bag.
Speaker 1: I can't even afford to like pay the rent, like
Speaker 1: I work nine to five? What the fuck is all
Speaker 1: this for? I'm just gonna go get drunk. And I
Speaker 1: was thinking of walking out to it in New Orleans
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'm gonna hang with him, and like,
Speaker 1: I think that's a good song to walk out to
Speaker 1: ed Bird Show. It's like instead of like a tailor's song,
Speaker 1: it's like a more common like you know. And I
Speaker 1: was like, and she goes but and Emily was like,
Speaker 1: but you don't get tipsy, and I'm like, but I do.
Speaker 1: Like it's not just about drinking. It's about like, fuck it,
Speaker 1: let's just be lay in bed all day. Let's just
Speaker 1: over indulge in skinny pop like whatever it is, get tipsy,
Speaker 1: like it all sucks. And I and, like I said
Speaker 1: yesterday about the Olivia Rodrigue song, pretty Isn't Pretty, I
Speaker 1: love a song that doesn't have like a happy it's
Speaker 1: all gonna be okay. It's just like let's get drunk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it actually is girl. That's girl. Yeah, tipsy
Speaker 1: is girl trying something here? I didn't know.
Speaker 4: I have a feeling it's not going to do anything
Speaker 4: at all. Chaboozy is like six five, he's a big man.
Speaker 3: Really, Emily wanted burking bag.
Speaker 1: You're so girln't seen her, but maybe it's because I
Speaker 1: mute it you haven't seen a celebrity, but because their
Speaker 1: body tried you enough that you were like, I can't
Speaker 1: watch this anymore. I like her. I she I think
Speaker 1: is uh so iconic, and I think she's really smart
Speaker 1: and cool. But she I think I because there's no
Speaker 1: way she's not still putting out content.
Speaker 2: I think I just.
Speaker 1: Any misspelling of her name too, just to be oh god,
Speaker 1: I need to unmute her because I'm I think I'm
Speaker 1: confident enough to like invite her torso back into my feed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: into my feed. I'm ready to see that.
Speaker 2: So are you going to ask? Are you gonna mention
Speaker 2: to him like, hey, I want to use your song
Speaker 2: to come out this show.
Speaker 1: No, he doesn't care. Like that would be weird to
Speaker 1: me to be like, you know, the song that's the
Speaker 1: hit song of the year that everyone listened to a
Speaker 1: million dollars. I think I'm gonna be real different and
Speaker 1: unique and walk out. I just feel like, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: I'm wrong and he would be like tickled by that,
Speaker 1: But I feel like he would just be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course she would not everyone.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't feel Saturday.
Speaker 1: I think it's thirty years that would be interesting anecdote.
Speaker 2: But so Thursday is the NFL Honors, and then and
Speaker 2: then Friday tour and Friday's like Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: then Saturday you're doing this big show with Bird Kreischer
Speaker 2: at where is it. That's some big really thank you
Speaker 2: for PiZZ Yeah, I think so pizza they have. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think they would think you'll be just gonna sell out.
Speaker 3: I think it'll be a very interesting story thirty years
Speaker 3: from now when you're doing the White House Correspondence Center
Speaker 3: for President Boy thirty years three months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then I do that show and that'll be fun.
Speaker 1: And then I get to go to the super Bowl
Speaker 1: the next.
Speaker 2: Time, and then the Super Bowl and you're rooting for
Speaker 2: the Chiefs. I'm assuming, Yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 1: I think I'll be, I hate to say, maybe rooting
Speaker 1: for both teams. Like I'll be excited, but at some
Speaker 1: point I'll have to choose what I want. I think
Speaker 1: when the underdog reveals itself, I'll be rooting for them. Yeah.
Speaker 3: The underdog is the Donna Kelsey thing of just wearing like.
Speaker 1: Or the I love the Rob Low thing of just
Speaker 1: the NFL.
Speaker 3: NFL.
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to take a joke on
Speaker 1: that and just wear all things that just say NFL
Speaker 1: and be very middle, you know, like I thought people
Speaker 1: might not get the joke, but I think that would
Speaker 1: be funny because it was like a baseball.
Speaker 4: Umpires the refs. Wait, he was wearing a ref hat.
Speaker 3: Well, he.
Speaker 2: Looked like the commissioner Roger don't I look.
Speaker 1: Good and red? And obviously it's like Taylor. It's Travis.
Speaker 4: I know him.
Speaker 1: He's great and uh, you know Kanna Patrick And no,
Speaker 1: not yet. I haven't even looked. I probably could see,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't care to look yet because
Speaker 1: I can only be disappointed, I think, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like I'd rather be like surprised, like whoa.
Speaker 1: It's because right now I'm thinking they're shitty, because why would.
Speaker 4: They who You're getting him through?
Speaker 1: And I don't mean like being in the building is
Speaker 1: not shitty, Like the tickets are, so.
Speaker 3: They're going to be good because you are presenting a
Speaker 3: cool award at the NFL Honors.
Speaker 6: So like a soppy was sitting next with in a
Speaker 6: box in a box arm in arm with Roger Goodell.
Speaker 2: If they're flying you out there for the honors, then
Speaker 2: like because with celerity old.
Speaker 3: I don't even don't talk about it, you.
Speaker 1: Know, no. I mean like we went last year, but
Speaker 1: that wasn't just amazing, but we were high up line,
Speaker 1: but we were high up, not that high.
Speaker 4: Those are great seeds.
Speaker 1: They were amazing. I guess my point is I'm not
Speaker 1: looking because I want to be surprised. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'll be a box, though, box like an NFL box,
Speaker 3: a little bit about football.
Speaker 1: Like you know a little bit, and I can follow
Speaker 1: a game, and thought, I can follow a game and
Speaker 1: have a good time now because of this year and
Speaker 1: what it's done for me, I will have a much
Speaker 1: better last year. I actually had a really good time
Speaker 1: with Brian because he explained the game to me and
Speaker 1: it was just that was it was so fucking fun.
Speaker 1: And that's when I said, I want to go to
Speaker 1: every singst of my life. Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 2: You were like, Travis Kelsey is going off and I
Speaker 2: was like all right, and you're like ten receptions. I
Speaker 2: was like whoa, and you're like ten and then you
Speaker 2: did get ten? Whoa? Yeah. I mean I've got a
Speaker 2: lot of parlays. What's the spread on the Eagle game?
Speaker 2: Negative one? Eagles are the underdogs.
Speaker 3: I'm just negative want over on Barkley's rushing yards for me.
Speaker 7: I'll give you my Yeah, absolutely that one. Well, I'm
Speaker 7: just saying, this is not a girl, this is not a.
Speaker 6: Boy.
Speaker 4: I can't do it.
Speaker 2: I can't do it. But someone else will.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, I can't do it. Yes, we heard you,
Speaker 1: and we saw your sly, we saw your good side
Speaker 1: of your face.
Speaker 3: It looked like the guiltiest man a lot look bad. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you look like Murphy Wine that his trial.
Speaker 1: Did you hear? Diddy like just hurt his knee and
Speaker 1: they're thinking it's because they it's really advantageous for someone
Speaker 1: who's being tried for something to show up like looking weak.
Speaker 1: He's trying to get those crutches.
Speaker 2: It might even be real pain, like Sarno level pain.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there's no question he's deep pain. Like that
Speaker 1: guy is not having a good time. I can't imagine he's.
Speaker 2: Having a good time deep pain.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that was I don't. I guess it's just
Speaker 1: it's girl again.
Speaker 3: Let's get it back to me, girl.
Speaker 2: How are you feeling about? What's your excitement level for
Speaker 2: the halftime show? Kendrick?
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm excited for not like us, but I'm
Speaker 1: not really familiar with Kendrick.
Speaker 2: Kendrick there not the Black Panther soundtray.
Speaker 1: I think you know I'm gonna use this as I
Speaker 1: don't think I'm gonna have time to like get into
Speaker 1: Kendrick before then in the way that I need to.
Speaker 1: I'm obviously aware of him. I know I can recognize
Speaker 1: him when I hear his voice, but I'm not a
Speaker 1: big fan. But I'm going to use this opportunity to
Speaker 1: be like that's when I discovered Kendrick Lamar. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I know that's blame, but I think it if there's
Speaker 1: any place where I'll be like, holy shit, I have
Speaker 1: been sleeping on this even though I know that I
Speaker 1: would like him, That'll be the time that's I truly.
Speaker 3: Think the Super Bowl halftime show is specifically designed for
Speaker 3: America to it's wake up to wake up and like
Speaker 3: kind of like figure out, like, oh, Kendrick Lamar is
Speaker 3: like a worthwhile artist is Like I think that's how
Speaker 3: it's traditionally been used.
Speaker 1: I mean, like Kendrick Lamar's the way I feel about
Speaker 1: like Breaking Bad or the Wire, like things I know
Speaker 1: that I would love and are like, without a doubt
Speaker 1: amazing and I respect them deeply, but I just am
Speaker 1: not aware of them yet, Like you can't know everything,
Speaker 1: and so I yeah, I'm hoping to. Like the other
Speaker 1: night with that ray girl, everyone's just like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: who is this? Like I know Kendrick Lamar is like
Speaker 1: ubiquitous now, but I just haven't let it in except
Speaker 1: I don't know his Uh.
Speaker 2: I know ray Gun.
Speaker 1: He's on Bad Blood with Taylor Swift, and I know
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous that I know that.
Speaker 3: I feel like you should look up his Grammy performance
Speaker 3: from like fourteen or twenty fifteen or twenty sixteen maybe,
Speaker 3: but like it's a Grammy performance. It's so incredible. Really,
Speaker 3: it's like one of the best.
Speaker 4: Okay, like he's a wordsmith. He's like, well, yeah, you know, but.
Speaker 1: That's that was like that everyone I love and respect
Speaker 1: to love something.
Speaker 3: That was my introduction to him, and I was like, damn.
Speaker 3: But then like also, like it's gonna be crazy to
Speaker 3: have like a whole stadium of people screaming Drake's at Potophile,
Speaker 3: Like this is the worst week of Drake's life right now.
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't think he's shown up right, like he's
Speaker 1: not like a set, a statement or anything.
Speaker 4: No, he can't win that. You can't win if you
Speaker 4: come out and say something, you lose if you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's just you're friends with Drake, reach out to him. Yes,
Speaker 3: he needs it. Tell me he's not alone.
Speaker 4: What if he came out during the halftime show with
Speaker 4: Kendrick God, I'd be sick.
Speaker 1: I mean, but that's why it's like so excited. That's
Speaker 1: something like you can be on top of the world
Speaker 1: and think you're so fucking cool and one of the
Speaker 1: like most popular artist that has ever lived and one
Speaker 1: song can be written about you or you know, I
Speaker 1: think it was a couple like it was kind of
Speaker 1: a series. Yeah, but you can get taken down so
Speaker 1: much that off taken from your tower like so quickly.
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of and that that that they're
Speaker 1: willing to go there, that they're willing to risk it
Speaker 1: all by like calling something out as exciting it is.
Speaker 1: I mean fallsy in your face.
Speaker 3: I mean, like honestly, like in the nineties, like the
Speaker 3: Tupaca Biggie thing, like it finally it feels as big
Speaker 3: as that again, like where it's like I love drama, well,
Speaker 3: like you.
Speaker 1: Know, Charlie XCX did the whole like song about Lord
Speaker 1: and her feeling like competitive with her, and then they
Speaker 1: like you know, did the remix and then they like
Speaker 1: worked it out on the remix. So that was like
Speaker 1: another I like, I like a feud, Like I love
Speaker 1: the machine Gun, Kelly Eminem, you do.
Speaker 5: A good comedy bit, or like another rapper, do another
Speaker 5: rap song where you can take down other pedophile, Like
Speaker 5: does the song have to be that good?
Speaker 4: Like you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: So many pedophiles get away because everyone's like, oh, it's
Speaker 5: all boring popiles.
Speaker 1: If we just put it to a good beat, a good.
Speaker 4: Beat or something insanely creative, that's the only way.
Speaker 1: Well, that's Hannibal Buris was the way he presented the
Speaker 1: Cosby thing to everywhere. He made us all wake up.
Speaker 1: It was like go home and google it.
Speaker 4: Yes, you know what I'm saying, So think something true.
Speaker 1: Because it was a way of delivering the information that
Speaker 1: people kind of like woke up. I don't think Drake
Speaker 1: is being like tried for anything because of that song,
Speaker 1: but it's embarrassing as far.
Speaker 3: It's just embarrassing that everyone just like now even like
Speaker 3: like hey, well that's a confirmation you are a betterphile.
Speaker 3: It's crazy make a song about Sean being gay?
Speaker 4: Yeah, going down.
Speaker 3: The commenters on the Nicky Blazer podcast YouTube are gonna
Speaker 3: really be.
Speaker 1: So lucky, be so lucky to be gay? Which it's
Speaker 1: not even yeah, it's oh.
Speaker 2: It's not bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're making not that it's a bad.
Speaker 4: What a dream?
Speaker 3: What a dream for me to wake up and be gay?
Speaker 3: Because then I could just be like, yeah, no, I
Speaker 3: like Lady Gaga, I'm not gay.
Speaker 1: You'd be free to like this all the things you
Speaker 1: actually like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, listen, thirteen going on. Thirty is better
Speaker 3: than big, But I can't say that as a boy.
Speaker 1: Believe it is.
Speaker 3: I kind of love thirty. Go got there and I've
Speaker 3: seen it. Oh you got it? It's better than big.
Speaker 3: Oh my godness, I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: All right, we gotta go. Thank you guys so much
Speaker 1: for listening to the podcast. We will be back next
Speaker 1: week with a like you know what happened on that
Speaker 1: charter jet? Hopefully we make it there.
Speaker 3: So that's girls they have a plane gradge and I
Speaker 3: would be that would be girl a box.
Speaker 1: Okay, remember me as girl? You guys, okay, uh, don't
Speaker 1: we got bye? The Nicky Glazer Podcast is a production
Speaker 1: by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created
Speaker 1: and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie,
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior,
Speaker 1: Edited engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton,
Speaker 1: and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full
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Speaker 1: Niki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel