1 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:17,440 Speaker 1: Let's talk about energy match in a relationship. Now, one 2 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: would say opposite to a tract. So why does someone 3 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: have to be a good energy match. You can be 4 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: the opposite to someone, but there's an energy match and 5 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: there is some crossover. Being an exact polar opposite might 6 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: not work. I know a friend who met a guy 7 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,599 Speaker 1: in the club scene and they used to go out 8 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 1: to clubs a lot, and it's not really who he was. 9 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: It was kind of only who he wanted to be 10 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 1: when he got laid and she thought she was marrying 11 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 1: someone fun, and she was marrying a dud and a 12 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,240 Speaker 1: sick in the mud and a drag on the ticket. 13 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: And it's been a challenge and you end up going 14 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: to other places and with your own friends to do things. 15 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: But it's nice to do something with your own partner. 16 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: And I've experienced this where it's not been an energy match, 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: and it's something not discussed as much as other things. 18 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,959 Speaker 1: Hey wait, where do they live? Where are they from? 19 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: The Italian? What you know? All these things? Are they kind? 20 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: Are they funny? All these things are important and they're discussed, 21 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: but energy match is not discussed enough, and it's critical. 22 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: It's literally critical. There was a person I saw on 23 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: social media talking about attraction, talking about desire, talking about commitment, 24 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 1: do you want to commit? But ultimately talking about compatibility. 25 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,040 Speaker 1: It was a dating expert, like, that's an energy match. 26 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: Are you compatible with the person? Do you feel like 27 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,199 Speaker 1: you want to go out at night and this person 28 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: falls asleep at nine o'clock and you're dragging them? Then 29 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: you feel it feels boring, Like nothing feels worse than 30 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: when someone gets to a restaurant and you know that 31 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: they immediately want to leave. It's like a drag. It's 32 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 1: just an energy think. Nothing feels worse than when you're 33 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: always creating the fun. You're the life, You're the light, 34 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: and they extinguish the light. It wears on you. It 35 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: makes you depressed and it's not a good match. Or 36 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: someone doesn't like the cold, they don't like skiing. You 37 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: love skiing, it's part of your life. Mountains someone only 38 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: you know, someone only wants to sit their ass on it. 39 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: They're kind of lazy, they're not adventurous. Like these things 40 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: they add up energetically. You need a good energy match, 41 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,679 Speaker 1: and it's undeniable. It doesn't mean you don't have fun 42 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 1: with the other person. Or connect with the other person. 43 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: Or you could have great sexual chemistry, but it might 44 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 1: not be a good energy match. And if you're not 45 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: a good energy match, it could affect the sexual chemistry. 46 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: Because nothing's worse than being a person who has the 47 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: light and the darkness extinguishes your light. Okay, alive. Now, 48 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean I'm in a good mood all the time. 49 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean I'm cheery. I have the light. I 50 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: am alive. Okay, you know it. If you're alive, I 51 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: am alive. And when I am in, I have ended 52 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,519 Speaker 1: relationships because my light is being extinguished. And I've tried 53 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,639 Speaker 1: so hard I want to be in the relationship, and 54 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: I have a hard time getting out. But when you 55 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:53,399 Speaker 1: really realize your light, the very inner you, the light 56 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 1: bulb inside of you, is being extinguished, it starts to 57 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: kill you slowly, and you are just sort of a 58 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: little bit dead, and negativity will pull you down way 59 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: more strongly than your positivity will pull a negative person up. 60 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: A positive person can't make a depressed or negative person positive. 61 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: And it's extremely debilitating and it's been really challenging in 62 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: certain relationships. And it's a really big girl decision, big boy, 63 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 1: decision that you have to make, so do not let 64 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: anyone put out your light. Another thing I want to 65 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: discuss is money and relationships and young girls who want 66 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: to marry someone rich. I hear it all the time, 67 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: and mothers who say it's just as easy to marry 68 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: a rich man as a poor man. Okay, it is. 69 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: It is to just get down the aisle, you know, 70 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: it's not easy. My life coach said to me that 71 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: you said, you need to be with someone who is 72 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: something or is going to be something. So you could 73 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: meet a poor person that is going to be something. 74 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: You can just tell they have that hunger, et cetera. 75 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: But he said this to me because he felt that 76 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: if I was in a relationship with someone who lacked 77 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 1: the light, meaning they lack passion, they lack drive, they 78 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: lack determination, it will never work because I need to 79 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: be with someone who is something because they've done it, 80 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: or they're going to be something, because they're going to 81 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: do it, and that's critical, and that's not really Someone 82 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:30,040 Speaker 1: could have money who lacks drive and determination. Maybe it's 83 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: been handed to them, you know, maybe they got lucky. 84 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 1: There are a million ways, but if they lack drive 85 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: and determination, and you're a person who's alive and you 86 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: have drive and determination, it could be a bad energy match. 87 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: So when mothers tell their daughters you want, it's just 88 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: as easy to marry someone rich as poor. Let me 89 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 1: discuss that dynamic. You marry for money, you pay the 90 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: rest of your life. You marry someone because they're wealthy, 91 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: or even as a big part, because they're wealthy without 92 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: the rest. That's just the frosting. What's going to happen 93 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: to a woman. It's going to reduce your ambition, reduce 94 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: your motivation because you know you're taken care of, you're 95 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: on the program. You have a sponsor, so you don't 96 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 1: need to work as hard. And when you're young, and 97 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: it's like a good gimmick and everyone thinks it's so great. 98 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're so cute. You always look perfect, 99 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: you have the bag. Your lunching is a verb, your 100 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: shopping is a verb. And everybody wants your life. And 101 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,679 Speaker 1: you have a big ring and you had a great wedding, 102 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: and everybody's jealous and they all want your life because 103 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: that's what you're portraying. That's what The Housewives was made 104 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 1: of and built on. Fronting and stunting. It's more important 105 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 1: for other people to think I have money or a 106 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 1: good life than for me to actually have it. People 107 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: could be in foreclosure and broke, and websites are writing 108 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: there worth thirty five to fifty million dollars. It is 109 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,840 Speaker 1: absolutely untrue. These shows are about fronting and stunting, and 110 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: girls who marry for money want a front and stunt, 111 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: or they have to front and stunt because it's going 112 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: to make them feel better. And what happens is you 113 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: end up medicating and the men end up with the power. 114 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 1: Sooner or later, no matter how it goes. Men know 115 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,119 Speaker 1: every dollar, and if he or she makes the gold, 116 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 1: they make the rules. And it comes in many different forms. 117 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: One form is that you marry someone with money and 118 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: it's kind of their program. Ultimately, where you're gonna live, 119 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: what you're gonna do, where you're gonna go on vacation, 120 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: the life you guys are going to live will ultimately 121 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: be he or she who makes the gold makes the rules. 122 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: And it could be subtle, but it builds up. It's 123 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: gonna be you don't have your own money, you don't 124 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: know where the finances are, and you're medicating with stuff 125 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: too if you really don't have your own purpose and 126 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 1: your own job, and then your kids grow up, leave 127 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,600 Speaker 1: school and you're an empty nester. There's no fucking way 128 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: that just being married to someone rich is gonna fulfill you. 129 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: There's no way you could. I've heard talked to too 130 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: many people. Okay, you're medicating with stuff. Then what happens 131 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 1: is you medicate with bags, you medicate with watches, you 132 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: medicate with jelry And I've done it. I've done it 133 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: because when we're young, we want the easy way out. 134 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: In a way, it's like you just want to meet someone. 135 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: They're gonna save you, They're gonna take care of you. 136 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: The mom is right. It's just as easy to marry 137 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 1: a rich man or a poor man. But do it. 138 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: Once you have your own thing. You can marry someone rich, 139 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: you can marry someone poor, you can marry someone old, 140 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: you can marry someone young. Do it when you have 141 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: your own skill set, your own money, your own nesting. 142 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: Then you can make clear decisions. You have the cake, 143 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: then you can get the frosting. You cannot frost nothing. 144 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: You have to have the cake. You cannot make a 145 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: life out of a lifestyle. You can make a lifestyle 146 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: out of a life. You can marry someone that you 147 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: love and you have your own life and your own freedom, 148 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: but you could trust and believe if you marry someone 149 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 1: for money, you're gonna pay the rest of your life. 150 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: You're gonna be medicating with stuff, and the medication is 151 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: to mask the real symptoms, which are boredom. You're not 152 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: sexually stimulated, you're not intellectually stimulated, you're not emotionally stimulated. 153 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: You don't respect the partner, you're turned off, whatever it is. 154 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: You're gonna feel trapped. If you are in a situation 155 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: and you don't have any money and no access to 156 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: making money, you're gonna feel trapped, and slowly but surely, 157 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: it's gonna be death by a thousand paper cuts. You're 158 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: gonna be doing what the other person wants to do, 159 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: whether subtlely or outwardly, and they make the fucking rules. 160 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: One day, they're gonna be having sex, cheating on you. 161 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: You feel like a bigger loser. You're gonna be complaining 162 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: you were there when they made it. All these things 163 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: are not cliches, they're true. All these things are true. 164 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: All these things are why sixty percent end up in divorce. 165 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: So just remember he or she who makes the gold 166 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: makes the rules. And if you marry for money, you 167 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: will pay for the rest of your life. And listen 168 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,319 Speaker 1: to this. I made money, I have money. I can 169 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 1: buy myself flowers, I can buy myself bags. I have 170 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: been in relationships and had so many luxury items bought 171 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: for me with me, and it was medicating. I was 172 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: medicating because I wasn't happy and it was something to 173 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 1: do to fill avoid And it's a quick hit, that's 174 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: the honest truth. And then I've wanted to purge it 175 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: all because I don't need it. It's medicating. Just trust me, 176 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: and you know what I'm talking about. Stuff. It's more 177 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: stuff because it makes you avoid what's really going on. 178 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 1: True happy people probably don't need any stuff. They don't 179 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: want any stuff. They're not flexing, they're not trying to 180 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: make everybody else think they have such a great life. 181 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: They're just living. And I don't think the moms are 182 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,320 Speaker 1: right who say because it may be easy in the 183 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: short term, maybe easy in the short term, but it 184 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 1: won't be easy in the long term.