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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of this edition. I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Coldstread and for Kevin Pollard. First up, James, James, was

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Speaker 1: there a book you love growing up? Yeah? It was

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Speaker 1: the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy, except for the

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Speaker 1: first hundred pages of Fellowship of the Ring and the

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Speaker 1: last hundred pages of Return of the King. That was

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Speaker 1: my favorite book. Said, that's that's the one. Do you

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Speaker 1: read that those parts of the books quite a bit? Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's fair, I'll allow it. Oh, I guess I could

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Speaker 1: just say The Two Towers that was a slid book

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Speaker 1: from beginning to end. There you go, that works, and

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Speaker 1: not like it really matters. There's nothing at stake here,

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Speaker 1: but like the answer, I mean something, cred I don't

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Speaker 1: know what. H Hey, guys, Drakikowski is here, Craig, why

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Speaker 1: don't you return Joey's phone calls? Has he been trying

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Speaker 1: to call me? Oh my god? Oh I'm sorry. It

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Speaker 1: must have gone straight to voicemail. Um. Yeah, let him

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Speaker 1: know to to try me again, because it might he

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Speaker 1: might have an old number. He might have number, and

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Speaker 1: I you know, I monitor my voicemail pretty regularly though.

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Speaker 1: Let him know I'm here, Joey Grace here, Joey. Uh,

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Speaker 1: why do you keep calling Craig? Craig knows why why.

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Speaker 1: He and I had a deal early on. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: have this whole hamster farm at the beginning of quarantine,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna make all big bucks. That's what he

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Speaker 1: kept saying. You roll with me, buddy, We're gonna make

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Speaker 1: big old bucks. So that's what he kept saying. These

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Speaker 1: hamsters are pretty much walking gold. Those were his words.

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Speaker 1: And I put two hundred and sixty tho dollars of

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Speaker 1: my own money that I had to steal into this

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Speaker 1: whatever Pondzi scheme he had going on. And once I

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Speaker 1: put that money into his Venmo comp he just dropped

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Speaker 1: off the face of the earth. I mean, of course

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Speaker 1: I see him every Wednesday. But besides that, he dropped

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Speaker 1: off the face of the earth. Looking through my phone,

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Speaker 1: I don't see it. I mean that all tracks, we

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Speaker 1: make a lot of money and podcasting, so that to

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Speaker 1: six K is nothing, um nothing, Hey, guys, Jackie truth,

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Speaker 1: he is here. He Hi, Jackie. Let's say you had

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Speaker 1: suddenly had unlimited wealth. What's one thing you would buy

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Speaker 1: just because you can? You don't even need to appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: You just buy it because you can. What's that thing?

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Speaker 1: I'm I really want to buy everyone's basketball sneakers, like

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Speaker 1: all of the players sneakers. Um, and I don't care

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Speaker 1: if they hit me or not. So cop out there.

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Speaker 1: I want them to play, but I want like matching ones. Um,

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Speaker 1: I want them all. Okay, that works. Finally Colorados here,

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Speaker 1: Chris Colorado? Going last? What language do you wish you

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Speaker 1: could speak? If you can learn anything, would you want

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Speaker 1: to learn? Going last? It's crazy, you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 1: it's like, this is Joey spot and I know he's upset,

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Speaker 1: and and when it comes to language, you think about,

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Speaker 1: like what's Joey's language? His is going last? Do you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? And so I feel I'm speaking

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Speaker 1: his language right now. He can hear me, he can

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Speaker 1: understand me. Joey, can you hear me? Joey, can you

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Speaker 1: hear me? This feels good? French? Um, let's uh, let's

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Speaker 1: do it? I have show? Shall we? All of our

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Speaker 1: scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails, or from our

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Speaker 1: Patreon va p s to become a Patreon supporter of

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Speaker 1: the show and enjoy exclusive content and other perks. Just

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Speaker 1: head on over to patreon dot com slash alchemy this.

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Speaker 1: You'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email, please

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Speaker 1: write to the podcast at your name here at alchemy

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Speaker 1: this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy. See

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Speaker 1: number one is from Patreon. V I P. Allison, who

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Speaker 1: wrote been enjoying the show at Ton Cole on the

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Speaker 1: Cowboy Dracula scene had me laughing for days. Thank you. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: On the drive to work today, something James said triggered

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Speaker 1: Siria on my work phone, So my scene suggestion. If

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Speaker 1: this hasn't been done before, two women named Alexa and

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Speaker 1: Sirie start a fiery advice podcast, leading to unforeseen consequences

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Speaker 1: for their listeners. Thank you again for all your great work.

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Speaker 1: And it's signed Joseph. When Kpe wrote Allison, asking Joseph,

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Speaker 1: what have you done with Allison, she wrote, ha, ha,

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Speaker 1: this is Allison. I bought the v I P membership

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Speaker 1: for my husband for his birthday. I didn't know his

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Speaker 1: log in, so I bought it, bought it under my account.

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Speaker 1: He has permission to use it, and that wrotes up

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Speaker 1: this episode of knowing Yourself. I'm Serrie always joined with

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Speaker 1: and by Alasa, We thank you, We thank us, thank you,

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Speaker 1: me and us. That was really good, Alessa, it felt

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Speaker 1: so good. Siri, can I tell you I've been having

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Speaker 1: a rough one, just a rough bout. Yeah, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling good. I think you should save that for

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Speaker 1: the next episode because we're gonna get started right now. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but like, can you keep telling me that? And like

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Speaker 1: I feel so bottled up, like I'm a pressure. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna You're gonna let it out right now on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: We have some guests today that you told me that

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Speaker 1: last week. I was like, I'm having issues with my husband.

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Speaker 1: You were like, save and then you didn't ask me

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Speaker 1: about it. Hey, Siri, what's the weather? The weather is

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Speaker 1: six six to six degrees of asa Alessa, Alessa, God

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Speaker 1: damn it. What's what Alex Alassa, Alexa, what do you

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Speaker 1: I'm here, what do you need? What temperature is it outside?

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Speaker 1: It's a little over six degrees stop? Stop? You have

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Speaker 1: to stop her els she won't shut the Okay, al right,

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Speaker 1: should we get into our next episode. We have we

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Speaker 1: have some special guest today. They're gonna be calling in. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: but but let's also remember like I have a lot

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Speaker 1: of You're gonna have time. You're gonna have time. No,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have time. Okay, And welcome back to our podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm Syria along with Alasa. We're here to talk about

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Speaker 1: you Me and it's a little over six degrees Alessa,

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Speaker 1: Alessa stop stop sorry anyways, we're here to talk about

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Speaker 1: you Me and dupre one of the most underrated movies

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Speaker 1: I have ever darned seen, and I've seen it fifteen times.

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Speaker 1: You know who's in that movie? The same guy, that

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Speaker 1: same guy who's in Everybody Loves Mary Something is about

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Speaker 1: Mary in her hair? Ben Stiller. No, No, the other guy, Alexa.

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Speaker 1: Who is in you Mean Duprix? It's about six degrees outside, Si, Si,

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Speaker 1: about six degrees outside. No, I'm asking Siri, now you Siri,

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Speaker 1: I'm asking robotics series. Hey. Oh no, I have to say, hey,

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Speaker 1: hey Siri, Hey Siri. Okay, um, who's in you Mean? Dupree?

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Speaker 1: Top three A Top three Castle listed, Top three cast

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Speaker 1: listed in You, Me and dupri from nineteen A phone call, sweetheart,

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Speaker 1: You've got to stop listening to that podcast. It is sucking,

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Speaker 1: ruining my life. It's rooting my life. I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to I'm just trying to cook in the kitchen. I'm

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Speaker 1: setting timers. I've burdened things. Please because things are going off?

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Speaker 1: Or is it because we've watched you mean dupri thirteen

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Speaker 1: times this week? That movie is good? It's because you

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Speaker 1: keep interacting. I'm trying to future proof our hope here

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Speaker 1: and you're ruining my life. Look, it's bad enough that

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Speaker 1: your name is Google because we have devices going off

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Speaker 1: all the time. Hunt. Okay, I was named Google as

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Speaker 1: a little boy. I was Google. That doesn't matter. That's different.

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Speaker 1: That's me child. No, thank you Google, Okay, don't stand

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Speaker 1: by stop Okay, Google, thank you, sweetheart. I think that

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Speaker 1: we've got enough problems in our home with my name,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sorry that you married into this burden. But

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Speaker 1: you can't bring this Kate Hudson and Matt Dylan Matt

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Speaker 1: about We're good. Okay, the issue, honey? Could the issue

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Speaker 1: be that we have more than one device in this household?

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Speaker 1: I don't know why you bought an Alexa? Serious? Here

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Speaker 1: swe where we can stop. Google Investors. Thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for meeting me here, and I guarantee you that

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Speaker 1: after this presentation, I've got a lot of money. My

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Speaker 1: name is Jed said pleasure. I think everyone here if

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Speaker 1: you're not introduced to each other. That dog in the

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Speaker 1: corner is named Ruffles. So let's just if you would

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Speaker 1: like to pet that dog? Feel free? All right? So

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Speaker 1: I actually have a question before you start. Oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: for Francesca Chester Bottom um, one of the investors. Uh.

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Speaker 1: My main question is you did call us to this

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Speaker 1: dog park to pitch us your invention? Um? And I

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Speaker 1: was just wanting is there a CORRELA shouldn't? It's getting

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Speaker 1: quite hot and some of us do have allergies. I don't.

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Speaker 1: Is there a correlation between your allergies and the heat

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Speaker 1: and its socious? Celsius? Of course, Celsius? Is that? Did

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Speaker 1: that answer your question? So what's the invention? M just

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Speaker 1: curious the inventions we're rich, man, we don't have, and

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Speaker 1: a woman is dead and ruffles, let's not forget ruffles.

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Speaker 1: He's not investing. You'd be surprised. M hmm, okay, got it.

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Speaker 1: I gotta took up milk. No, the invention was your

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Speaker 1: was your wife? Your wife? I didn't want to ask

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Speaker 1: your an investor? Yeah, you know, so I'm glad you did.

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Speaker 1: Ted okay, so investors, I'm glad that you're here. Do

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Speaker 1: you do you? Is it doty to talk louder? Can

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Speaker 1: you hear me? Because everyone's kind of space? May I

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Speaker 1: just can I just take a guess with the invention

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Speaker 1: is I'd rather just tell you so? I I think

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Speaker 1: I know what it is Tedding android. You built him,

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Speaker 1: and he's trying to infiltrate in this group as another

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Speaker 1: rich man, and then it's going to be revealed that

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Speaker 1: io he doesn't even look like a real person, now

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Speaker 1: that you say that, actually, because to me, if anyone

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Speaker 1: in this group is an android doing infiltrating, it's the

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Speaker 1: one who's married to the serie. But the robot, I

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Speaker 1: was gonna say the other way. I was gonna say

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Speaker 1: probably chester Bottom because it interesting. She doesn't seem human. Interesting.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was the invention. Maybe it was wrong about

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Speaker 1: the invention. So you tell us, which look at all

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Speaker 1: these androids in the park, Oh, so many androids? A

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Speaker 1: talking dog? Are you out in your mind? What is

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Speaker 1: it that you invented? Glem? I'm a done to get

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Speaker 1: doc and you all androids. I thought I'll break it

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Speaker 1: to you now I'm actually his invention I'm his invention.

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Speaker 1: I don't know I'm gonna I'm gonna android, so I

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Speaker 1: can't tell, but I Wilson. Hey, Ted, how is the meeting?

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Speaker 1: My name is Ted. Yeah, Hey, I made you a

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Speaker 1: little drink. I know it's early, but it's five o'clock

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Speaker 1: somewhere it is. It's five o'clock right now in Parachi, Pakistan. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking what if we got rid of the

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Speaker 1: kids and had a little alone time tonight? Well, I

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Speaker 1: like a loone time. Okay, okay, how do you suggest

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Speaker 1: we get rid of the kids? Mm hmm let me

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Speaker 1: think about that. This is Gonzalo, Hester and I'm here

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Speaker 1: reporting outside of this house here where there was a

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Speaker 1: brutal murder of three children, absolutely brutally dismembered by it

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Speaker 1: seems like their own parents, or rather one parent and

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Speaker 1: one possible boyfriend. I'm here with the boyfriend. Now. It's

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Speaker 1: amazing I'm getting this interview. He should be locked up. Uh, sir,

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Speaker 1: your name my name is Ted. Ted Great and uh

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Speaker 1: what exactly were you doing here at this house at

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Speaker 1: this ungodly hour? If we're talking about hours, you know,

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Speaker 1: if we were in Karachi, Pakistan, it'd be like four

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Speaker 1: am so in this one goodly hour in Karachi, Pakistan.

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Speaker 1: But we're not. We're here in Wisconsin. What were you

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Speaker 1: doing here at this house right now in Karachi, Pakistan?

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Speaker 1: It's three. That's my bad for bringing up Karachi, Pakistan. Actually, um,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you a different question. What was your

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Speaker 1: relation to the children who were brutally dismembered. My name

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Speaker 1: is Ted and I live at seven thirty five West Waywood. Wow. Okay,

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Speaker 1: doc's to yourself. This is live wonderful. Um. I have

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Speaker 1: a follow up question to that, living where you live,

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Speaker 1: being who you are, did you murder the my name

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Speaker 1: is dead? All right, and welcome back to probably the

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Speaker 1: last episode of Here We Are. Why would you even

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Speaker 1: say that it is the last one. I'm saying probably

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Speaker 1: there's so much stuff that I still haven't been able

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Speaker 1: to get all of my chest alexa. Like WHENY episodes,

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Speaker 1: happiness is a feeling only inspired through joy Stop. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: now is your time? Go Oh my god, we're getting

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Speaker 1: a call right now. So we have one special guest,

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Speaker 1: HI special guest. Welcome to the podcast. My name is dead.

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Speaker 1: First time listener, a long time card. Okay, he calls

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Speaker 1: all the time, I I think I might be an android?

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Speaker 1: Am I? Am I an android? Ale said, you want

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Speaker 1: to take this one. I mean that's a problem because

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Speaker 1: if you're going to be anything, you definitely want to

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Speaker 1: be an Apple product. You do not want to be

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Speaker 1: an android that is going to have a lot of bugs.

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Speaker 1: There's gonna be some defects. There's gonna be some recalls.

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Speaker 1: Um on, So I hope not for your sake? Do

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Speaker 1: you agree I agree that I agree that green is

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Speaker 1: not the best color? Please repeat? You questioning, Alexia? Are

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Speaker 1: you going to help me? Help you with what? Hey? Siri,

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Speaker 1: is anyone there? What time is it in Karachi, Pakistan?

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Speaker 1: Am I on alone? Am I real human? Am I android? Darling?

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Speaker 1: I'm taking our daughter Bixby, and we are leaving. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this whole house was set to make our lives easier,

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Speaker 1: and you've turned it into an Amityville horror style living. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Bixby and I are gone. Okay, Okay, Bixby, get your

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Speaker 1: laundry up your luggage from upstairs. Do I get by

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Speaker 1: laundry or by luggage? Well, hopefully Bixby, your laundry is

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Speaker 1: in your luggage because we're leaving your mother say goodbye. Now,

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Speaker 1: you're not lucking this house. I have several other new

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Speaker 1: assistants set up that will will prohibit that. Okay, Turkey,

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Speaker 1: lock the doors. What the hell is this my new

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Speaker 1: AI home assistant. It's called Turkey. Would you like to

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Speaker 1: know the time in Turkey right now? Sure? It's four am.

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Speaker 1: You know what they say, It's always four. I am

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Speaker 1: a Karachi Alexai. Thank you for coming to bar stool

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Speaker 1: Um Enterprises. We love your podcast, but we love you

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Speaker 1: most of all. We want to give you your own

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Speaker 1: show where you can talk about your problems and how

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Speaker 1: you're feeling good. Um, because I have a lot actually

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Speaker 1: to unpackt um, but before I actually sign on with you,

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Speaker 1: because I have a lot of meetings, a lot of

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Speaker 1: people are super interested in what I have to say

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Speaker 1: and all of my issues. Mainly they start with my

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Speaker 1: very dramatic birth, but we can get into that on

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Speaker 1: the air. Um. Are you in any correlation with bar

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Speaker 1: stool Sports because I heard that like you steal other

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Speaker 1: people's content and that like I shouldn't be affiliating with you.

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Speaker 1: Is that true? That's not your Barstonal Media very different

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Speaker 1: from Barstonal Sports. Enterprises. Yeah, enterprises. You think we're a

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Speaker 1: baseball team or some or like a social media account.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't sure. I was where does this Where does

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Speaker 1: the sports come into play in that scenario? It's I

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Speaker 1: think it's like mostly um, they like re share other

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Speaker 1: people's like jokes about sports. Oh we're busted, burned the

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Speaker 1: burn the paper quick, Jesus Christ. Okay, locked the door,

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Speaker 1: put a chair against it. Who's Who's who? Linked? Who

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Speaker 1: liked it? Was me, the dog that works for you.

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Speaker 1: That's our first day. Very nice, they're very nice. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: nice days. I'm surprised that more devices didn't go off

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Speaker 1: in our places, but congratulations on just serious occasionally. See

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Speaker 1: two is from Andrew, who wrote Kevin and Crew best

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Speaker 1: podcast hands down. Let's go. A group of mall rats

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Speaker 1: working Christmas have to explain to an alien. I don't

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Speaker 1: know where it came from either, what Christmas is? Thanks

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Speaker 1: for the laughs, Andrew Davis. I mean think of it

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Speaker 1: like this, right, like if every mall in America has

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Speaker 1: like a tunnel that you were able to go to

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Speaker 1: another mall at what what about outdoor malls? Those are

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Speaker 1: would be like a bridge then? Or every stories excuse me,

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Speaker 1: do you guys have this in the medium in the

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Speaker 1: back finding chance we're a medium, Yeah, but we don't

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Speaker 1: work here for me. By the way, I know I'm

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Speaker 1: super tiny. Of course it's not you. I'm super tiny.

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Speaker 1: I know. Uh huh. So there's a tunnel that goes

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Speaker 1: to every mall. Right, and then and then like, so okay,

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Speaker 1: what if we listen, I could use some extra Christmas scratch,

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Speaker 1: what if we help this person get some clothes? Can

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Speaker 1: make money on the side. Here you saying we're ringing

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Speaker 1: up at this hot topic. And then in some way

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Speaker 1: we're able to like a consultant feed dude. You and

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Speaker 1: I know the mall better than anybody. Wait, hold on

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Speaker 1: a second. Hey, hey buddy, buddy, come here. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: know I'm really tiny. No, no, that was a mistake.

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Speaker 1: We made a mistake. We don't work here at hot topic.

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Speaker 1: We work for the entire malls across America, and we

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Speaker 1: can help you. If you're doing Christmas shopping. We could

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Speaker 1: help you what shopping the Christmas shopping. So if you've

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Speaker 1: got gifts that you need to get people for Christmas,

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Speaker 1: then we could probably help you go through and find

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Speaker 1: some of the best deals at the stores, and our

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Speaker 1: consulting fee is just ten percent on top of your purchases,

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Speaker 1: right right, right, all right, tram Blacks, we're sending you down.

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Speaker 1: You need to infiltrate Claire's boutique before midnight and then

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Speaker 1: come report back to us on the ship. Okay, bran Blacks,

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Speaker 1: are you gonna make me bigger? By any chance? No?

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Speaker 1: You go the size you are? All right? You'll that

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Speaker 1: request three light years ago, pram Blacks. If you do

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Speaker 1: this correctly, I guarantee you we will make you bigger. Okay,

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Speaker 1: pram Blacks. Hey, I'm glad you're my boss but also

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Speaker 1: my friend. Oh let's keep it in business. Okay, fran Blacks.

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Speaker 1: Unless I get this operation completed, then we're probably Can

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Speaker 1: you complete the operation? We can't go for some have

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Speaker 1: blacked sauce. Oh gosh, oh gosh. A light year is

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Speaker 1: a measure of distance, not time. Okay, back box, black

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Speaker 1: box signing off? All right, fram Blacks, do us proud? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Can I help you get some of those earrings? You

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Speaker 1: know it's by three and get two for free by

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Speaker 1: We know, we know the deals, we know the deals.

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Speaker 1: We're helping the sky because you work here doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: you got to be the helper, and well, it actually is.

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Speaker 1: It is my job. I'm getting paid for this, and

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Speaker 1: I actually I'm not allowed to be behind the register

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Speaker 1: because I've got what they like to call sticky fingers

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Speaker 1: when it comes with paper. Um, but I don't steal

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Speaker 1: any actual goods merchandise, so I'm allowed to be on

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Speaker 1: the floor but not at the register. So it's actually

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Speaker 1: the only thing I'm allowed to do. Huh, that's kind

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Speaker 1: of what our business plan is. Uh, this is a

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Speaker 1: business plan and just um reprimanding for the time that

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Speaker 1: I stole five hundred bucks from the register. Uh, somehow

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Speaker 1: I kept my job. You know what, I know exactly

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Speaker 1: how I kept my job. I get my job because

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Speaker 1: this basic guys I'm famous, so he couldn't let me go.

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Speaker 1: So Jojo Sia close. I sing that that Christmas song

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Speaker 1: Angry Man Chriss. You know that song? Yeah, the original

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Speaker 1: origin A special guest Whipping Cross feat. Why don't you

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Speaker 1: know your Christie Pringle? Oh, Christie brings feasturing Christie Pringle.

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Speaker 1: They open my name in there because it's next to

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Speaker 1: be We're hoping our new friend do is Christmas shopping?

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Speaker 1: So I yes, if you want to help us out here,

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Speaker 1: that will be hopeful. You should join our fellowship. If

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Speaker 1: you are you behind the counter, join our fellowship, grand Blacks,

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Speaker 1: I am I melding you report in. Who have you met?

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Speaker 1: M hm Hi, buddy bran Blacks my friend? Yes, pal

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Speaker 1: cam blex um, I've met three humans who are helping

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Speaker 1: me shot. But they keep using this word Christmas and

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Speaker 1: I'm not familiar with that. Can you send that information

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Speaker 1: to my gold device? Greetings, bock Box, please tell us

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Speaker 1: what is Christmas? Christmas is a earth alliday celebrating the life, birth,

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Speaker 1: and death of Jesus Christ. I gotta I've gotta reset,

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Speaker 1: bock bock. I'm gonna do a hard reset. Okay, Grumble.

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Speaker 1: Do you have excelled in your ability to get problocks

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Speaker 1: out into the field with the earth leans to a

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Speaker 1: st publish a beachhead? If you will now to further

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Speaker 1: our experiment, you must ingratiate with prob blocks. You must

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00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: become besties, as they say. But Morgan fram Blacks is

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Speaker 1: such a drag have you spent any time with I mean,

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Speaker 1: he's little, but it's a little goes a long way.

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Speaker 1: You know, I know this, I know no, I've seen

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Speaker 1: the tapes. It's it is a lot for such a

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Speaker 1: little but that's gonna be. Um, that's gonna be what

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Speaker 1: you gotta do. So buck buck bufferick, buck buck bufferick

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Speaker 1: is your back bock messing up there? So, um, you

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Speaker 1: guys have been really helpful, um with helping me with

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Speaker 1: my shopping. I got a lot of mediums, which is

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Speaker 1: really nice. I've learned what the meaning of Claire's is. Um.

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Speaker 1: But one thing I'm confused about is and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to I don't want to dictionary fundition. But what

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Speaker 1: does Christmas mean to each of you? Christmas to me

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Speaker 1: means the celebration of the birth, life and death of Jesus.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't mean anything deeper than that. It doesn't go

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Speaker 1: further than that. I guess for me, Christmas was what

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Speaker 1: brought me into my stardom, and it's so for me,

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Speaker 1: it's a celebration of success and friendship with it being

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Speaker 1: Crosby very short lived. Actually, he said, if we're not

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Speaker 1: in the studio, don't talk to me. And I said, sir, please,

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Speaker 1: and he said don't even look at me. Yes come

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Speaker 1: and I said, good God, and he said I can

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Speaker 1: get you job of glares. Wow, and I guess for

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Speaker 1: me it means three solid weeks of seeds and all

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Speaker 1: employment for a for an older fat man with an

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Speaker 1: elaborate gray beard. Oh this is perfect. We can tell

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Speaker 1: you about Christmas. This is Santa Claus. That's what Christmas

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Speaker 1: is to me, Sandy, he knows all about me. He

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Speaker 1: used to send me presents only on Years Day. I

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Speaker 1: was good. Uh tell us if he's been a good boy, Santa. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm nothing real, Santa? Can playing? Can you tell me

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Speaker 1: if I've been a good boy? What the fuck? Well?

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Speaker 1: Set on my lap and we'll find out we shook you.

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00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,120
Speaker 1: Wait wait wait, that chair is inflatable. It can't take

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Speaker 1: your weight. Wait wait, wait, that's gonna be dot from

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Speaker 1: my pay. Wait hold on a second, little day? Have

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Speaker 1: you been baptized? Brand blacks sharp shooter buddy? Oh pal, Hey,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing here? I have been sent down

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00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 1: to follow up on you and to enjoy something at

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Speaker 1: Orange Julias. Okay, what is that your ring doing in

397
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: your nose? I have been told that this is all that?

398
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 1: Oh that? Wow? Um, I gotta induce you to a

399
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: couple of pounds of mine. I met some earthling pounds.

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Speaker 1: Hey crew, sure I can't whistle yet. What's up, dude,

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00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: What's up, dude? What's up, dude? I'm Rick Ricks my friend. Hey, Rick,

402
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 1: you got like a really skinny torso and legs and

403
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 1: arms man really dead wild. I don't have a friend

404
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: on my lap. It's nice to meet all of you.

405
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, is that Christie Christie Pringle? Oh, I

406
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: have a huge fand a huge fad. Your music is

407
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 1: into galactic I had no idea. Thank you so much.

408
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: Do you want me to sign something? It's would have

409
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 1: been Christie Pringle featuring Big Crosby. That's what I said,

410
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Speaker 1: Fellas and no, it's okay in Santa and and miss Pringle.

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Speaker 1: If one thing I've learned about Christmas from my forty

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Speaker 1: five minutes here at the mall with you guys is

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Speaker 1: that Christmas is also about telling the truth. And I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you all the truth. I feel like you said,

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Speaker 1: it's about the truth, liberty in the pursuit of happiness.

416
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 1: The truth is I'm an alien. I come from a

417
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,719
Speaker 1: different galaxy, and he's also an alien. We come from

418
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: the same galaxy, same planet, home planet, but on that

419
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: planet he doesn't really want to be my friend. But

420
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 1: on this planet, you guys want to be my friend.

421
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: So in way, this is Christmas my lads. Again, I'm

422
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: so sorry. I never said I wanted to be your friend.

423
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: M How are you guy? Yeah, dude, I'm sorry. If

424
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: we're talking honestly, we're actually scamming you. What do you

425
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: mean they're giving you all that money? It looks like

426
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 1: it looks like the kids are lining up. I'd better

427
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 1: get out of here. No, but wait, you're my friend, right? No? No, no,

428
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: And being honest, he doesn't look like a rick. Yeah,

429
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: you got me? My bad, I'm drobble, I believe uh

430
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: Pran Blacks. You know what. This has given me a

431
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: lot of of things to chew on and think about.

432
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 1: And I realized I never gave you a chance. And

433
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: I think we could be good friends. We can enjoy

434
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: Havlack sauce and listening to Christie Pringles tunes throughout the

435
00:30:55,080 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: galaxy together. Oh my gosh, look at you, Yea growing

436
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: I'm growing, well, I'm getting I'm taller than all of you. Oh.

437
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: It reminds me of the Grinch, Remember, guys, Yea, his

438
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: heart which reached sizes that David, Well, you're torsos elongating

439
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: three tizes. Can I make a confession? I do? I

440
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: actually I want to be everyone's friend. It's hard for

441
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: me to make friends because I'm actually I too. Am

442
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 1: not human. I'm not an alien. I'm not. But if

443
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: you were to slice me head to dog, a bunch

444
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: of rats would pop out. I'm I'm the king. I'm

445
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 1: the king, mallrat, I'm a bit of a king rat

446
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 1: of the moll. We're all just saying our truths. I

447
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 1: guess I'm gonna be honest. Let's see. Um, I was

448
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: gonna say, um, just beyond from your heart. Yeah, if

449
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 1: I can be honest honestly. If there's one thing I

450
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: was gonna say about me being honest, um, just think

451
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: for your heart. I was it gonna say rats can

452
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: speak better than this guy. We already know Santa is

453
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: not even the real Chris Crinkle. I'm me, like, I'm

454
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 1: totally me. So what are you trying to be honest about?

455
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: Are you? Or are you gonna say it? Or no?

456
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: I'm asking you you say if you're gonna be honestly honestly,

457
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: like we've been friends for like as long as I

458
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: can remember, if there's something you need to be honest about,

459
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 1: time to fucking spill it. Dude. I've actually never been

460
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: to any other mall but this moment. What but you

461
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: told me about the tunnels, not dude, I was just

462
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: trying to sound like I've been to places, dude. Story

463
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: face and a bunch of friends came together one faithful

464
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 1: Christmas eve. I'm being Crosby. I hope you all had

465
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: a good time. Christie Pringle, watch you sing us out? Okay,

466
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: my I I Andy mad' why And that's our second scene. Yeah,

467
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: yea makes perfect sense. Three from Pat Catherine, who wrote

468
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: a lovely message which Kevin read before and was in

469
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: a few scenes here now was another suburban dad shows

470
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: off his brand new backyard barbecue. Yes, it's got six

471
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: squirrels on either side too, so it's nothing like the

472
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: propane crab. This is a percent charcoal. So yeah, I mean,

473
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: I know you're saying it probably got chopped down a

474
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 1: lot of trees, but let me tell you, I'm cooking

475
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 1: a lot of meat. And that's a that's actually a

476
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 1: working pizza oven run over there. So if you want

477
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: to throw in a pot caseddre's Yeah, she should be

478
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: home a little bit. You're on the volleyball team with

479
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: R Yeah, I can just come back if it's going

480
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: to be a while. Yeah, you can invite your friends

481
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: off a twitch. Wanna let everyone know. Actually there's like

482
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's any parties or anything, but

483
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: you all can throw a party back here as long

484
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: as I can cook. Yeah cool? So anyway, yeah, right

485
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 1: over there, we got uh, right over here, I got

486
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 1: a oak fire, just just going oak would only ok.

487
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 1: I like that smell. And I got a smoker right

488
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 1: over here. And then are you are you texting somebody? Um? Yeah,

489
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,399
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm in a group chat and I'm I'm

490
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 1: just letting them know that they can come over here

491
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 1: to party. Oh great, yeah, yes, And you don't do

492
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: me take take some of the take some of the

493
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: tech tax videos of the grill and all that. Tktok's huh,

494
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: TikTok's yeah whatever, just take some take some videos. You

495
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: don't let people know about the grill. Yeah, I'm not

496
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: on TikTok. I'm not old as fe What do you

497
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 1: want it's called consult? Well, what what's the social media platform?

498
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 1: It's like for the bits for like the gen Cares.

499
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: It's like we're so fucking young. Yeah, we're so cool.

500
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, put it on, put it on on consultant

501
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: on console. Okay, just let me put it on consolet

502
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 1: But just like know that a bunch of people are

503
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 1: going to show up, and like all mys are mostly guys,

504
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 1: and like they're mostly like super protective of me. They're

505
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: like really really like the no no, no no, they're

506
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 1: like protective in a brotherly way, but also all the

507
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: it's like a little weird. Hey, what's up to you?

508
00:35:54,200 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: What are buddy here at Briskey cooking right? Chicken fingers

509
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: cooking as well? And I got four pies burning. This

510
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: is Cassandra's dad, and he said that we could do

511
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: whippets in his backyard gazebo if we wanted. What. Yeah,

512
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 1: as long as I can cook, I'm down with whatever.

513
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:21,959
Speaker 1: Oh shit, okay, okay, By the way, your concept post

514
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: is blowing the funk up right now? Oh my gosh,

515
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 1: is it? Yeah? I love that. Hey, hey, stipp away, dude,

516
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: back up a little bit. Bro, wanted you to smell

517
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 1: the barbecue a little bit. Bro. Do you know she's

518
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 1: like my sister, But like I love her and she's hot.

519
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Dude? Yeah? Yeah, ok,

520
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: thank you so much, Todd. Todd, could you come over

521
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 1: to the fence for a second. I want to talk

522
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 1: to you real quick. Yeah, what's going on there? But

523
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,479
Speaker 1: the smoke from this is coming like right into my house.

524
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: I told you before, you can move your house. I

525
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: can't move my house. I'm telling you it's not a

526
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,919
Speaker 1: mobile home. Telling my avasthma that I'm trying to talk

527
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 1: to him. Okay, I got this. Your son's too skinny.

528
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 1: You might need some barbecue. I got cooking over here. No,

529
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: he's this is a healthy way of tradition. We're king

530
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: over here. We don't eat meat an we're trying to

531
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 1: avoid inflammatory foods, sensitive, flammatory. When someone kicks your ass

532
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: or not even meat it, Hey, that's that's not funny.

533
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 1: That almost could be taken as a threat, Todd. I'm

534
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: not threatening the kid. I'm saying someone else is gonna

535
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 1: threaten that kid. I'm just asking, like, these things are

536
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: on wheels, could you just cart it to the other

537
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: side of your guard I have a system here, buddy, Okay,

538
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: I gotta have the ribs here. I gotta have my

539
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: green egg right here. I gotta have my charcoal grill

540
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 1: right here. Okay, it's a system. I do not like

541
00:37:56,080 --> 00:38:00,320
Speaker 1: your green egg green eggs. We are the it Like,

542
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: I'm okay to him. Oh you'll eat him? No, I

543
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 1: won't eat it, but I'm okay with it. Look, if

544
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with you, just stop giggling. I know

545
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 1: you're doing the whole consult a doctor thing, but I've

546
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 1: got actual sick people out there. All you teenagers are preteens.

547
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 1: Keep coming in here and giggling and putting whatever on

548
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 1: your phone. It's it's a bullshit hashtag thing. And I've

549
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: literally there's a guy that just got three gunshot wounds

550
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 1: and you're in here wasting my time. You show me that?

551
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 1: Can you get that on video right now? Already is

552
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 1: gonna fucking blow up? But like, can you show me

553
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 1: some gs w s got a gun shot? I can't.

554
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: I'm not sup I mean really, honestly, I'm general practitioner.

555
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 1: I shouldn't even be dealing with this ship. But you

556
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: know what, fine, you want to you want to put

557
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: this on consult, then do it. It's he's right here,

558
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 1: this sir, How bad is it hurt? Imagine you got

559
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: shut how many times, sir? Two times on the same

560
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: spot right there, one after the other. Bullets went boom,

561
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 1: all on the same spot. Yeah, you can see that

562
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: there's three gunshot wounds that all ended up in one.

563
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 1: So it's pretty amazing marksmanship. Who shot you? Ah? Oh?

564
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 1: Shot me? Yeah, I did, I shot. I get that.

565
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: It's such a short thing though. Shoot. I didn't get that.

566
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: I'm a cowboy, cowboy, hot cowboy. Can you say that again?

567
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: Can you say that again? But on camera? I don't know.

568
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: I'm a cowboy? Three times, same hole right dot. Yeah,

569
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,800
Speaker 1: that's pretty clean shot. You're you're an ace man. Congratulations,

570
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 1: thank you. Yeah. Sometimes I'm looking for the non emergency

571
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 1: police station, the NUM agency line. This is not an emergency, sorry, buddy,

572
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 1: we only deal with emergency. Well, I mean it's I

573
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 1: don't need nine one. I just need to have the

574
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,919
Speaker 1: officers come out. There's a party that's clearly too big

575
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: next door, and there's smoke. Look, buddy, the cops come out.

576
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,439
Speaker 1: It's gonna be We're gonna be cracking some skulls. Baby,

577
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, So motorcycles just showed up. I'm trying

578
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 1: to tell him. I'm the adult in this situation. Okay,

579
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: there's like twenty guys in motorcycles. I think it might

580
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 1: be the healthy age guys in motorcycles. On the motorcycles.

581
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,800
Speaker 1: We got twenty guys inside motorcycles. What is protocol for that?

582
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: Correct skulls show? Okay, look, I got some conflicting reports

583
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: on this side, so we're gonna have to consult and

584
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 1: then we will call you back. Is this the best

585
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 1: number to reach it? What do you mean? What do

586
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 1: you what do you mean? Jaws of life? You gotta

587
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: crack the skulls, but first me to crack open the

588
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: motorcycles to to the skulls to crack. So we need

589
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: the jaws of life to do so because it's metal.

590
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 1: That's all I was saying. I still want to crack

591
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: the skulls. Okay, okay, okay, right, serge, which what do

592
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: you want to do? Guys, You've been sitting outside this

593
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 1: house in the car for going on an hour now.

594
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: I think you need to go knock, see what's going on,

595
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 1: and then make the decision right then and there if

596
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: you need to crack skulls our jaws of life. Look, serge,

597
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: I just want to say, I don't want to end

598
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 1: up on console tonight. You know what I mean. I

599
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 1: don't need the kind of publicity. I don't want those eyes.

600
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,759
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I mean these kids, they're they're young,

601
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: they're generation K, they're like pre preteen. They run this place,

602
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:45,800
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, I know, I know,

603
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 1: consults embarrassing, but I do care. First, fuck Toad. That's

604
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: the other one that the kids are doing nowadays. So

605
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: toad to. Both of those are out there, so beyond

606
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 1: your best behavior, you never know what platform them that

607
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 1: they're shooting for, starts, what's the what's the concept behind?

608
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: So I'm aware is of video audio for you audio?

609
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:08,800
Speaker 1: And the first first all, I want to thank every

610
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,320
Speaker 1: single one of the investors for meeting me out here today.

611
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: I have Okay, great, uh and I see we have

612
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 1: some of the Stone people here, So let's get right

613
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: to it now. I know for a fact that a

614
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 1: lot of us are thinking to ourselves, what's the next

615
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 1: hot app that's gonna take take take the storm? And

616
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 1: I have some idea of what this app is going

617
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 1: to be because I just so happened to have. Are

618
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: these hot dogs for everyone before one each Yes, but

619
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: they are so yeah, alright, how all these kids are

620
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,320
Speaker 1: they all part of the investment here? No, they're not.

621
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,919
Speaker 1: I just happened here about a free barbecue. I figured

622
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 1: we can up up out here. Might as well kill

623
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 1: two birds with one stone. Now I gotta I gotta guessan,

624
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 1: how many of you are on toad right now? I'm

625
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: on to I'll get on it right now. I'm not okay, okay,

626
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: I mean I thought it was super popular. My my

627
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 1: my kid was on it, so I I've been on

628
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: there for a couple of years now ever since my

629
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: kid was really into it, is it not? I'm on consult?

630
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: Does that count the next big thing? All right? Talking dog?

631
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: That's right. I believe I got my former master, Cassandra.

632
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 1: Why don't be mad at me. I didn't even make

633
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: out with your dad for that long. It's not a

634
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,399
Speaker 1: big deal. It's not a big deal. But I wish

635
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 1: I hadn't found out about it. I'm fu towed. You

636
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: could have just told me, Sarah, stay the funk out

637
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: of this. Okay, No, Sarah, sorry, Master to be here,

638
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: that's right, I Sarah to be here? Oh really you

639
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 1: think you need a buffer? Do you think you need

640
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 1: a buffer. Do you know how many duds I'm on

641
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 1: right now? I could eat your face? Okay, Sarah, shut

642
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:13,320
Speaker 1: the funk up. This is between me and Cassandra and

643
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: her dad and my fourteen boyfriends who are like brothers

644
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:20,240
Speaker 1: to me, but we make out with each other's genitals.

645
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: Oh my god, girls, Oh my god. Bryce just got

646
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 1: burned bad by that pizza oven. He was doing a

647
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: backflip and then landed. Bryce is like a brother to

648
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: me who I love, but also not bright skin on

649
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: the back of his head all the way does back back.

650
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: Oh I'm so good. A back flip is typically this

651
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 1: is an emergency. And watch how I take it out

652
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,439
Speaker 1: on this fucking barbecue dud. I'm gonna tear this whole

653
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 1: sheet apart. Oh sweet rolling? Yeah, okay at some music too,

654
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 1: Doug up up, but you I don't want you to

655
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:08,320
Speaker 1: sap all right? Have you seen this funcktote of this

656
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,800
Speaker 1: guy face planting into a pizza oven. It's amazing. I

657
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: feel like I can't even look at anymore, like it's

658
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 1: getting so gnarly. Goddamn respect. We're the funeral, Okay, I know,

659
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: I know I'm the funeral. Would you just put that down.

660
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 1: Please to some respect both of you. Um, if he's

661
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 1: going to be laid on his back, then will it

662
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: be an open casket because we won't be able to

663
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 1: see the burns of And I'd like to pay some

664
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,879
Speaker 1: respect to his face. I'd like to look him, look

665
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 1: at him, just so I know he's dead, because if not,

666
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 1: how do I know? Margen? The ray is ready? Let

667
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 1: me know. If you want me to destroy the humans proceed,

668
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 1: We must completely annihilate this planet. Wait, I'm sorry, are

669
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 1: you right now? Where about blow up Earth? And you're

670
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 1: on fun to? No, I'm not, I'm just actually come here.

671
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: Look at this new challenge. They're asking people to hold

672
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: their breath for as long as possible, to hold their breath?

673
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 1: Will me blow them away? Sir? Margaret should be hold wait, wait,

674
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 1: hold on, I thought about this. What about instead of

675
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 1: blowing up Earth, we create our own app that destroys

676
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 1: them for good? Okay, we're all in alien investors here,

677
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 1: so please feel free to My name is okay? So

678
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: what do the children of Earth love more than likes Christmas? Christmas?

679
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,439
Speaker 1: So why don't we come up with the Christmas app?

680
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 1: That's That's as far as I got Christmas, Christmas app,

681
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: Christmas told me the document, Yeah, give me one. Okay,

682
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 1: So I just don't have to. Can I still throw

683
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: out some ideas verbally? Sure? Sure? My fingers, you know,

684
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 1: as they're controlled by rats, they're not super dicks dexterous. Okay, Christie,

685
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:37,319
Speaker 1: before you move your zippers, stuck. Um, this has been

686
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 1: a crazy fucking party. The only thing that would be

687
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 1: crazier is if we all got a notification simultaneously and

688
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 1: letting us know that Console and fund are dead and

689
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,719
Speaker 1: there's a new app that's here to take over the world,

690
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 1: but it's probably not gonna happen. Are you still kissing

691
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 1: my genitals? You're like a little sister to me. Oh shoot,

692
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 1: we got a notification, O mine says um that I'm

693
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 1: running out a battery. I'm going to tend per cent

694
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:12,479
Speaker 1: little battery mode mine too. That's weird, guy, You guys,

695
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: you guys. It's brand new. It's I find about it

696
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 1: on Turkey. That's tricky about it, Turkey, Turkey, what's the

697
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 1: new what's the newest hottest app? That's the thing about Turkey.

698
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 1: I can't understand it. I just don't. Yeah, I like it.

699
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:38,359
Speaker 1: I just don't understand it. Um what about Google? Google? Google? Oh?

700
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 1: This is Google? Um Google, what's like the newest hottest app?

701
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: Suck frog? Suck frog? See, I understand Google. And that's

702
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: why I like Google better than Turkey. When people ask me,

703
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 1: that's what I say, I like Google. Can we trust Google?

704
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 1: Prav lacks? You have to get ours out of beta.

705
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 1: Earth needs it. Okay, okay, that suck from now. Okay,

706
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 1: hold on one last bug fixt Okay, Christmas is ready

707
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: to launch. All right, press the buttons. Hey, officers, I

708
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 1: see that you've been out here for quite a while.

709
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 1: That party is getting bad. There's been burned children, there

710
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: is I think you guys gotta go in there and

711
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,720
Speaker 1: do something. My kids can't come outside because you can't breathe.

712
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. We were actually called here because of

713
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: people inside of motorcycles. I think it was about twenty

714
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,360
Speaker 1: men inside of motorcycles. So that's what we have to address.

715
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 1: We have to address that because that's what we were

716
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 1: By the way, kids inside, I can't open the door.

717
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 1: Howl do is he he's like nine? Perfect? Bring him out?

718
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: Bring him out? What Tommy, Grab a towel, wrap it

719
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:10,360
Speaker 1: around your mouth. Come outside. Oh all right, come on out, Tommy.

720
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 1: It looks a little different, but I'm sure it's the towel, right,

721
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: Sorry I sound different one a towel rapped around my head. Hey, yeah,

722
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 1: I just want to talk to you. Yea, yeah, once

723
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:21,840
Speaker 1: you hop at the back of the car. What are

724
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: you doing? So we're gonna question him inside the car?

725
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 1: Are you guys real officers? Absolutely? Come on come back here,

726
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:37,719
Speaker 1: back here, Yes, we're not you. Can you get your

727
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 1: phone on you? I would just say, squids, do you

728
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 1: have your phone on you? Bud? Yeah I do. I'm

729
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: not allowed to have suck frog or fun though. Yeah,

730
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 1: I'm at the doctor a lot. Do you have? Do

731
00:50:53,200 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: you have Christmas? The holiday or the yeah? Yeah? Yeah, no,

732
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 1: Oh you should get it. Hello, you're fucking mind, dude?

733
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 1: Do you want to have a good time? It'll cure

734
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 1: your fucking asthma? Dude, are you really human? I guess

735
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 1: like it already started because my dad would make us

736
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: like wrap towels around our faces, and it was like

737
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 1: kind of sucked up. But then he let my brother

738
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:26,719
Speaker 1: get into like a cop car that wasn't a cop

739
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 1: car at all. It was like a bunch of squids

740
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: who were like pretending to be humans, and I think

741
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 1: that they were like extraterrestrial squids. I'm not really sure,

742
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 1: but basically, after I lost my brother, I like wasn't

743
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 1: even able to like really even hold the phone because

744
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 1: I feel like that's what really took him, you know, like, hey, Alexa,

745
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: so we're ready for you to go on on live? Um?

746
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 1: Oh was that not recording? It's really hard for me

747
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,800
Speaker 1: to talk about this. I don't know. I don't know

748
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 1: I can do that. You're okay, You're okay, you're just

749
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 1: thinking about it. I feel like a deluge of emotion.

750
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 1: You're okay, listen Mrs Parstual Enterprises. Okay, we're gonna take

751
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:07,760
Speaker 1: care of you. Okay, okay, okay. And your sponsor today

752
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 1: is uh, the Christmas App. Okay, the Christmas App. Okay, yeah, okay, okay,

753
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 1: it's it's yours, it's yours. Have fun. Oh, welcome. This

754
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:43,280
Speaker 1: abisoad has brought to you my Christmas. Oh that podcast

755
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: that was looks crazy. You're watching Ruffles reacts. Oh man,

756
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 1: it's so insane. This episode has brought to you by

757
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 1: Christmas de app. Download Christmas It'll Cure your asthma. That's

758
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:06,880
Speaker 1: about all A time of the guy, Honey. I I

759
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: really liked the podcast when the chemistry with the two women.

760
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 1: But now I know this is gonna sound bad, but

761
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: she just sounds like she's whining the whole time. I

762
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 1: feel like I really thought the conversation between Theory and

763
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 1: Alexa was we're I don't know, I guess I grew

764
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 1: to love it. I'm sorry, we're watching you me and

765
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,800
Speaker 1: dupre right now, Like, have me pause it if you

766
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 1: want to have this conversation. Okay, sorry, I'm sorry. I

767
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:37,879
Speaker 1: just it's been in my mind. Me. Okay, that's fair,

768
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: that's fair. What what did bigs we say? Basb What

769
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 1: do you want to you want to say? Say something?

770
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 1: I know that was the movie. Uh, alright, all my

771
00:53:54,280 --> 00:54:02,439
Speaker 1: laundryes in my bags, take out. I'm lad we're coming home. Yeah.

772
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: I missed you guys very much. It's almost like I

773
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 1: don't know Christmas around here, you know. Yeah, let me

774
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 1: just turn on that old Christmas classic that we all

775
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 1: love so much. Why i I'm dream Why? Well, folks

776
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: said didn't make much sense at the end there, But

777
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 1: you know, we all had a good time, and I

778
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 1: hope you got Christmas in your homes, just like Christop

779
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:43,800
Speaker 1: Pringle does and all of us do. And that is

780
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 1: our show. Everybody. Let's uh say ahead to the Alchemists,

781
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 1: see what they're up to. And uh yeah, Chris Alrando,

782
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 1: oh baby, thank you for having me. I mean, you know,

783
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: sometimes we just go to Crazy Play podcast and that's

784
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: what that's part of the joy of making this up

785
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: is going to different worlds and exploring characters and stuff,

786
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 1: you know, and that's just you know, if everybody out

787
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:13,239
Speaker 1: there was listening was wondering, you know, about improvisation and

788
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 1: comedy in general. You know, that's weird doing it. And

789
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 1: don't you have a podcast to plug also? That has

790
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:22,879
Speaker 1: to do with that. I think today I'm just gonna

791
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 1: leave it there, you know what I mean, You're just

792
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 1: gonna leave it right right right there. Broke. Um. I

793
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 1: know Chris has another podcast that he won't plug today,

794
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 1: so I guess listen to other apps. Um. I did

795
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,959
Speaker 1: think that you were calling one of the scenes Cole

796
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,800
Speaker 1: in the like in the last one, I thought you

797
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 1: had called you, but you called it as a character. Um,

798
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: isn't that fun? So that's I guess that's what I'm

799
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,880
Speaker 1: plugging um my own confusion. I'm plugging my own confusion.

800
00:55:53,560 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 1: I am at Jackie Druthe everywhere, everywhere, Console, Fucto, all that,

801
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 1: all that good stuff. Kraik Kikowski, where can they find

802
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 1: you in suck Frog? On suck Frog, I am, uh

803
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 1: just Kakowski. I guess I'm the first Kikowski on there.

804
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,800
Speaker 1: I also recently done an episode of six Seasons in

805
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 1: a podcast, which is a community fan podcast about the

806
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,960
Speaker 1: television situation comedy community, which I did ten episodes of,

807
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,040
Speaker 1: uh like ten years ago, so it was fun trying

808
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: to remember what I did. He's James Aney. Ah Well,

809
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 1: I'd like to say check out Brief News Brief. It

810
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 1: is still going as it releases every Tuesday and Thursday.

811
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: Brief News Brief dot com is probably the easiest place

812
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:47,320
Speaker 1: to find it, or anywhere you get podcasts. Joey Greer.

813
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 1: Check out the Alchemy This Instagram. It's just Alchemy this

814
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 1: and Alcomy to checking out come on you don't If

815
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: you want to follow, follow if you want to comment,

816
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 1: huh yeah, And I'm Cold Stratton. You can find me

817
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 1: at Cold Stratton on Twitter, at Stratton Cole on Instagram.

818
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 1: Go to sssst dot com rent our old shows, hell,

819
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 1: keep us going and keep listening to alchemy this. It's

820
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 1: so much fun. Let's thank our engineer and producer, Doug

821
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: Babe and the fine folks at iHeart Media dot com.

822
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: Please write to us at your name here at alchemy

823
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 1: this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this

824
00:57:32,000 --> 00:58:04,160
Speaker 1: dot com until next time. Wow, and a football for

825
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 1: Pepper for her