WEBVTT - Secure with Our Insecurity 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:04.520 This is how men think with brooks Like and Gavin 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:08.760 to grab and I heard radio podcast. Here we go 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:12.760 how men think? Round two? This is brooks Like with 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:15.200 my dude, the smiling guy right here, and I'm Gavin 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:17.960 the girl. I haven't said anything and you're laughing. What's up, buddy, 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:20.680 I'm just thinking about what this round is going to 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:24.000 turn into. YEA, according to the last show, I just 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:26.760 never know what I'm gonna walk into. We have an 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:30.400 interesting first topic, but first we got Dmitri got Rick 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:33.559 and we've got Ryan here with us. And Dimitri has 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:36.440 fired up about something. He has a burning topic. We're 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:38.599 not We're not sugarcoating this one. We're getting into the 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:41.279 heat right now. What is it, buddy? Here's the thing. 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:43.440 Our producer Amy came to us, she said on an 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.879 email and said, how do you guys, how do you 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:51.159 finish off going to the bathroom? So I said, and 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:52.840 I said, well, what do you mean? I said? She said, 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:55.600 when you're sitting down? I said, if this is the 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:58.160 way I'm thinking, I said, I used toilet. We're talking 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:01.840 about number two yea as much as any And she said, okay, well, 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:04.880 here's the thing we'd like to try new products. And 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:07.160 and I'm reading and I said, and she said, we 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.400 we have some white bees that you can use instead 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:12.920 of in lieu of toilet paper. And I said, And 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:14.880 before I could even say what I had to say, 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:18.160 Ryan and Rick responded and they're like, we'll try him. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:23.080 So I don't know that that's something there, guys, apparently 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:25.520 some deep seated thing like I don't know. I'm I'm 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:27.720 old fashioned. There's toilet paper. There's been no need to 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:30.640 change it. So I've used it, so that's what I do. 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.319 But these two were clearly having trouble there and wanted 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:36.360 to delve in to try something new. So my understanding 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:39.479 is that you guys receive some of these these flushable 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:43.600 wipes and and give it a go. It's a flushable 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:52.480 wipe of white one called dude wipes, dude white more 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.200 likely to try. Dude wipes are pretty good, you know. 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:59.400 I And thank you Dmitri. I I kind of you know. 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.400 I had always seen him in the bathroom always we 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:04.600 go to Alaska, we go fishing, they are always up there, 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:05.960 and I never used him, and I was always like, 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:08.720 I wonder why, Like and I'm a very sort of 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:17.920 particular guy. When going number two, Um, I build before 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:22.400 you sensing a new song coming on here, I build 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:25.680 what they call it Texas top hat, I believe, which 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:29.480 is basically, does anybody know what anybody know what this is? 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:32.720 So you make hats and out we're living. It's a 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:35.920 Texas top hat. You basically take the toilet paper and 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.880 you put it over the toilet seat before you go 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:41.520 and sit down, even at home. At home, I just 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:44.560 got a brand new toilet. Why I used it because 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:51.120 your kids on the seat. I like the warmth, it's soft. 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:54.280 It's just a very nice place to kind of rants. 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:59.680 And then if you ever run out, maybe diapers are 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:01.320 more of you. Well, if you ever run out of 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:03.160 the toilet paper, you always know you have, you know 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.440 about four or five maybe eight different Probably that's probably 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:09.639 why you run out, because you already used eight of them. Dude, 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:11.280 if you're in a bar and you like have to 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.280 go for some reason, you want to build a little 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.560 nest on the thing. Fine, but you're building a nest 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:19.639 on office's home in college. Does not matter. I've I've 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:25.799 been building it for a long time. It takes a 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:28.600 stop hat. So when the dude wipes came up, I 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:30.600 was raised my hand. I'm like, I gotta do this, 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:33.440 not to put him down. I already have that method sealed. 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:35.360 But he sat down. I was like, you know, I've 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:37.960 seen these things and I want to try it. Well, 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.920 you know, get down there, go and I start pulling 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:44.720 out the dude wipes and I'm sitting there and I'm 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.160 kind of like, oh, this is a little weird. It's 0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:49.680 not as comfortable. I actually did not like him as 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:51.520 much as I thought I would. I thought it would 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:54.400 be you know, clean, swift, good, ready to go, but 0:03:54.440 --> 0:04:00.360 it was small, wet, just not a skiss comfortable as 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:02.840 I would have liked, you know, sort of like this 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:07.560 conversation not as comfortable as I would have liked. Where's 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:10.840 the food get here? I can't believe that you do 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:12.360 it at home, though. I get it when you're in 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:14.400 a public place, you don't know who's been on that seat, 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:17.479 but like it's you're doing it for warmth at home 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:23.560 another other thing I do, you know, so like like 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:26.479 right before the toilet, there's like drips of p or whatnot, 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:29.599 So I'll pull the toilet paper or a paper from 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:33.839 you know, from previous maybe at the office or in 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:37.760 a public restaurant or whatever, and I'll wipe that down 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:41.039 and then slide that to the corner and then build that. 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:42.960 I got a bathroom at my house. You mind coming 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:45.040 over in my place for a little while. Do you 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:47.200 have like a handy belt on that you come into 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.560 every stall with that you have like apparatus and sprays. 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:52.440 I feel like he's gonna end up on her. He's 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:54.599 getting enough on like shark tank with some sort of 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:58.440 bathroom invention. I'm afraid I'm gonna be in a bathroom 0:04:58.440 --> 0:04:59.919 one time and I'm here knock at the door, and 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:02.080 it's gonna be rick Like. I have some wipes if 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:03.880 you need, I'm here for you. But I will share 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:05.720 an experience I did go to I go to Tokyo 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:07.920 quite a bit for work, and they obviously are kind 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:09.560 of the king of the day's and all of the 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.000 you know, the high end toilet seats. And I built 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:16.400 my little Texas and I was sitting there and I 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.320 was like, I don't even need to put the Texas 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.960 top hat on because this seat is warm. Yeah, there's 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:24.360 You probably stayed in some of these hotels, like traveling 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:32.520 hotels that have cleaner Oh yeah, they're dynamite those. Yeah, 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:35.800 the button. Someone comes by and thanks you for staying 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:39.000 at the hotel and they wipe you for you. Correct, correct, Yeah, 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:40.560 I don't. I have yet to stay at a place 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:43.719 where that exists. But so, yeah, so I tried the wipes. 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:45.919 I actually wasn't a big fan of it. It was 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:47.920 a little small in the hand as I like, kind 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:50.440 of the you know whatever, and uh, it was a 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:52.840 little moist and not as good as I like. So 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:59.760 that is it because you have large hands? It maybe yeah, maybe, Okay, 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:04.600 right now, second, you're hung up on it. So after 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.400 you use this thing, the wet thing, do you follow 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:09.240 it up with the dry thing or do you just 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:13.039 in this swampy That's a great question. Yeah. No, I 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:14.920 did not want to walk out of there and still 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:18.560 kind of have the otherwise. Otherwise you gotta go to 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:21.680 the hand dryer and just kinda back back it up 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:26.719 against it. So he has a hair dryer in his belt. 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:31.720 That Ryan. What are your thoughts on experience like deals 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:33.880 with some of my neuroses, Which is the first thing 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:36.520 I said to Amy, as I said I'm reading the back, 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:40.120 are these definitely fleshable? Because if I ruined my plumbing 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:42.239 at my house and I have to get a plumber 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:43.600 in here. That's going to be an issue. It's not 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:45.960 worth it to me. She assured me that I'm being 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:49.039 neurotic and it's all good. The bigger thing for me, 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.000 I have a friend who swears by them, which is 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.480 partly why I jumped at the opportunity to have them 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:56.640 sent to me. And he said. The analogy he gave 0:06:56.680 --> 0:07:00.000 me was like, look, if you got mud on your arm, 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.120 would you use a dry paper towel to get it off? 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.440 Or would you use a wet paper tality could agree more? 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.360 And I thought that was a relatively astute observation. Mud 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:14.280 or dry mud wet by nature. There's no such thing 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:17.560 as dry mud. Dry mud is dirt that just blew 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:20.880 your mind, wipe it off, and mud you gotta get 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:24.000 the mud off, but then you gotta cleaning something, and 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:26.120 a dry piece of paper is not going to clean. 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:30.480 So so just saying, my so have you been? Are 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:33.200 you converting? Now? Are you a dude? Way? You never 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:37.160 really asked me my opinion, I thought, okay, right now, okay. 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.200 The one thing I was gonna say is when you're 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:41.520 in a public the time you would need it most 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.400 for me is not when you're at home. It's when 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:46.120 you're in an away toilet, and when you're in a 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:49.360 way toilet. If you're in an office environment, the last 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.120 thing you're gonna do is get up from your desk 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.000 and walk down the office corridor with the dude wipes 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:56.560 in your hands. So so you advertise to everybody in 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:59.240 the office that you're going to drop a deuce in 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:03.080 the through them. So I think I would need a 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:10.000 travel size, pocket friendly Fannie pack. It's something that you 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:11.920 could slip into your pocket and be discreet when you 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:15.120 go out there, or if this catches on, restrooms will 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:17.240 just supply them. Well, that's the thing that sounds like 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:21.360 toilet paper kind of monopolizes the whole thing. That's that's 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:27.400 maybe you're in on shark tank. Correct, that's right, Fannie pack, 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:33.080 a dude white dispensary for restaurants in airports. Someone's gonna 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.160 steal that. Giving a percentage of that coming. You've got 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.640 Mark Cuban written all over it. I'm sure you can 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:44.480 get it at the duty free. Dude. What's that? What's 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:48.920 that line from anchor man? This really escalated quickly, all right, 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:50.920 I haven't tried it. I don't know. I don't know 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.280 if I'm willing to try it, but I think it's 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.600 more prominent I've heard. I actually was listening to podcast 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:56.040 where they were talking about this the other day, So 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:59.800 I think it's actually more prominent than we probably know. Yeah, 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:06.640 I guess the argument would be, you shower with water, right, 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:09.960 you're cleaning yourself off with something wet. Nobody get clean 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.520 something wet. Correct. You don't just put a towel on 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:16.720 your body, So that would be the argument. I'm a believer. 0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:22.880 I'm staying, Danielle, can we get can we get Gavin 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:26.720 some dude wipes? And I don't want him right now? Now? Well, 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:28.800 and then you can try him out. We're gonna on 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:30.599 the show. We're gonna test a lot of products, so 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:35.800 I appreciate you stepping up to this one right here. Hey, 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:38.520 it's Brooks like and it is how men think we 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:42.599 have Gavin, Dmitri, Rick and Ryan. We're we're taping this 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:46.719 right now in Oakland, California, where we're away from Los Angeles, 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:51.240 and Ryan is away from his wife and the two 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:53.199 year old boy and the baby on the way, and 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:55.640 he's dealing with a little bit of guilt. Let's get 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:59.319 into this. So look, we're wearing it all out here, 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.640 are we not. It's just not this. I was this 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:06.200 is a safe place because because I'm getting a look 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:11.120 from Gavin that is like he doesn't approve of this, 0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:13.280 and it's very off. Let's call it a safe place 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.040 from now. I was told to judgment free zone, but okay, 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:17.640 call it a safe place from now. Tell the story 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:20.360 and then we'll decide out. Okay. So, so I had 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:23.160 an issue and have an issue currently, which is that 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:27.520 I have about five hairs unibrow hairs that continue to 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:29.199 grow back. Then my wife is like, this is a 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:32.120 bad look, like she would pluck them because she said 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:35.320 it's a bad look. And eventually she gave me as 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.760 a gift a laser treatment in l A. I went 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.880 to this this laser clinic, went and sat in the 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:46.880 waiting room and there are about fifteen women getting bikini 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:50.800 line lasers. I was the only guy. Luckily, this Armenian 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.480 guy with like a sweater vest of chest hair came 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:57.480 in after me. But I have gotten one procedure done 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:04.200 of laser on my in between my eyebrows. Amazing, dude, 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:07.560 I have one like black one. My hair is brown 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:09.840 and I have one black one that just grows right 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:13.439 there and have to like pluck it up. It doesn't matter, 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:15.480 it's one had just pluck it. What do you because 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:19.079 the rest of your life, Like if you can just 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:21.240 do away with it and be done with it, it'll 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:24.760 never grow your you know what. I actually would do 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:26.559 a laser on. I'd like to actually do it on 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:28.240 the back of my hair so when I get a haircut, 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.920 it stays clean whole time. So maybe like next time 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:33.199 I get a haircut, I'll go somewhere and get it 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:35.520 laser anywhere you recommend? Where'd you go? Was it good? 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:40.040 You're looking for a place you cut? Place you do 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:43.319 they do? Do? They do the back? Yeah? They do everything. 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:47.320 I mean they When I walked in, they the guy 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:49.800 that was behind me, they had like an industrial sized 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:53.520 laser beam thing like but for me, it took literally 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:57.360 ten seconds like five zapps and I was out. Really 0:11:57.440 --> 0:11:59.840 can't think. Can they come into it? Like, I don't 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.679 want to truck down to a laser place? What do 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.240 you that's what are your laser at? First? What are 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:08.560 you laser in? I don't know. I got a few 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:10.839 strangely things on my shoulders. I guess I could take 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.559 care of it, but I mean I don't. I'm not 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:16.000 a I don't feel like I need to do it, 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.080 But I guess if it never grows back, but what's 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:20.480 to say it won't go back right next to it? So, Gavin, 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.040 do you have have you ever plucked any hairs on 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:27.600 your grab? It's perfect right here, very funny. Uh probably, 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.760 I'm sure I've done this before, but nothing comes out, 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:34.520 you know, at the center between my eyebrows. But um, 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:41.480 he's looking for a laser that grows hair. Be So 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:45.679 here's a question. Well, we all know that fashions change, right, 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:50.160 styles change. It's always a moving target, essentially culturally speaking, 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:54.240 music fashion change, religions change, politics, ex change. What if, 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.880 somewhere down the line, let's say it's within our lifetimes, 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:01.439 Anthony Davis, it becomes in readibly attractive to have a 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:04.560 couple of hairs in between your two eyebrows, and you're like, damn, 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:06.640 I wish I could get those back. What are you 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:10.199 gonna do about that? The technology will already exists, like 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.719 to get a hair transplant and have them plugged in. 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:16.040 Think about the people that reverse it. Think about the 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:20.120 people that threw something away, buddy. Somebody threw away an 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:22.719 old album, right, obviously not one of yours. They throw 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.199 away an old album, someone bought it on eBay and 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.040 may or sold it on eBay and made a fortune. Right. 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:29.599 So to Gavin's point, all of a sudden, it's like, 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:32.040 this is the hottest thing to have a unibrow. It's 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:35.160 not going to be Anthony and Anthony Davis from the NBA. 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:43.200 That's what makes them attractive. Oh, I didn't say it was. Well, 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.120 I'm assuming that's where you're going. Okay, But women do 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:51.120 it like on their arm everywhere weekly. The same be 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.679 said for them. But what if their car stalls in 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:55.800 a cold climate and they need to grow that hair 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:59.640 back and there they are freezing? Do you do a 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:01.800 lot fear in your life? Like you live a lot 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:07.000 of hope, a little bit of everything? Gentlemen, you I 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:09.880 love your hypothetical, dude. I love that we went from 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:14.079 from Ryan's eyebrow, who was stalled car in Minnesota. You 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.120 never know. Let's say you're at the Mall of America 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:22.400 and it's a giant storm. I wish, I wish I 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:30.520 could grow hair stuck that morning. Man, Let's talk about 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:33.720 another issue that you raised, Ryan, UM, set this one 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:35.760 up for us. We're talking about and this is I 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:40.040 think a real issue for men and women. Um, you 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:43.440 call it man guilt. Can you explain to Ustin to 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:47.680 our listeners what man guilt is. I think Rick is 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:51.960 the expert in this territory, but I will tell you that, Yeah, 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:55.720 there's an element of whenever I go away and my 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.120 wife is home with go away on work or like 0:14:58.240 --> 0:15:02.200 vacation or well to very astute question, thank you, Uh, 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:04.080 I would say when you go away. When I go 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:08.000 away and work, the man guilt is lessoned because I 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:11.640 am away for work and I'm earning money for the 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:14.400 family and and and all that. But if I go 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:17.760 away on pleasure with buddies, then the man guilt is 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:21.040 that much more because she's home taking care of our son, 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:26.800 you know, dealing with the brunt of of motherhood essentially, 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.080 while I'm off having a good time. So you have 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:32.800 to kind of temper the when you were laying back 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:34.800 how things are going, it's I feel guilty saying like 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.320 I'm having an amazing time. Can't lie to her and 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:40.480 say it sucks. I can't wait to come home, and 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:42.560 I knew you were going to be the one time 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:47.560 here and can't you do that? I think, yes you can? 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:50.920 And have you done that? I've that's gonna add to 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:52.720 his guilt if he's now lying to it. He's away 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.080 and he's lying, that's just gonna Do you feel better 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:59.080 about your relationship by lying with her by saying I'm 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.320 having a bad time versus you worried that she's going 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.680 to be almost jealous of you for having a great 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:09.520 time and therefore sparing her the competitive sort of angst 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:13.600 regarding you having time off from the interesting thing is 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.480 I bring this on myself. If I were to tell 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:18.760 her I'm having an amazing time, she would genuinely be 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:22.160 happy that I'm having an amazing time and making them great? 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.000 What do you feel so bad about it? So? Why 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.000 why do you do that? Because I feel guilty that 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:30.560 she's at home not having a great time? So about 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:32.880 her is about you? Is about her not having a 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.920 great time or that you're having a great time? I 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:40.600 don't think my brain can comprehend with that. Can I 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:42.120 tell you? I used to have I used to have 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.000 this man guilt, and what I finally came to a 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:47.120 point where I realized if I didn't do these things, 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:48.840 if I if I felt bad when I went away 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:50.640 for work, or if I went away from my buddy's 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:52.760 birthday and we went to Vegas or whatever it is 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:54.840 and I felt bad about it, or if I didn't 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:56.760 go for some reason, which I think is a mistake. 0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:58.360 To not do those things. I think you need to 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.760 give your family, at your work, your friends, the best 0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:03.960 version of yourself. And if you stay home and you 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.800 don't do these things, then you're gonna be grumpy. You're 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:08.919 gonna be the you're not giving your wife. Then then 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:11.080 you're gonna be like, you're gonna have more fights in this. 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.520 The thing is give her the opportunity to do it, 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:16.119 to let her say, hey, listen, go away, have fun 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:18.080 with your friends, have a weekend or whatever it is. 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:20.440 Let her do it, to show her that there's nothing 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:23.040 wrong with it. And then when you do it, it's 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:25.359 it's okay because because you're sharing now, and it's like 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:27.199 and she needs it just like you need it. If 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.359 you don't do these things, you're not gonna be the 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:31.760 same with your wife. You're not gonna be the same 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.600 with your kids. There was a time where um, I 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.320 hadn't gone away, and then I started traveling for work 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:42.199 a little bit and my my, you know, kids were 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.720 like whatever, my my, my, you know. Youngest was like, 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.440 I don't know. She's a small girl, she's like two 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:48.840 one and a half. Of the time, she didn't really 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:50.440 she paid more attention to my mother in law and 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:52.359 my wife and I went away to New York for 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:54.760 a week for work, and I came back and she 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:56.880 has been daddy's a little girl ever since. And it's 0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.800 like there's a dynamic that changes. Sometimes you have to 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.920 mind people what they have or what they're, what there is, 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:04.600 and you have to be the best version of yourself 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:07.879 and bring that back because that's gonna chave you if 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:09.639 you don't go and it gets stay on on this 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:11.720 that then then you're not helping anybody. You've never have 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:15.040 been times that I've gone away when when milestones occur 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.320 in my with my son that I'm away for when 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.720 it's like he's now taking his first steps or he 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:27.000 said his first word, and that's that makes you feel 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:31.439 tremendously guilty. I get I understand that. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:34.840 don't go away on his birthday? Yeah, trip on Yourn's 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:39.440 actual birthday. How do you know if you missed it, 0:18:40.080 --> 0:18:42.520 that it happened at all and it wasn't a ploy 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:47.240 to make you feel that you work so suspicious. That's 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:52.600 that's deep because his wife to him that, how do 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:56.399 we know? It's weird? Because when I got home, my 0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:58.240 wife had told me he had taken his first steps 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:00.240 and he was not walking, and she said he just 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.679 decided not to walk anymore. It's yeah, you're right, You're right. 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:13.479 Can I nailed it? You nailed it? Trust she has 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:16.280 the video proof. The other thing I think about the 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:19.800 guild is like you're vested with that person, that relationship, 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:22.600 whether it's a work relationship or a marriage or a 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:26.240 friendship or whatever. And if you walk away or technically speaking, 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:29.359 or you're going on a trip or whatever, you're breaking that. 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:31.600 You know, maybe it's with a team, or maybe when 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:33.840 you left hockey, or maybe it's whatever that is, Like 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:37.880 maybe you felt I don't know the circumstances, but maybe 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.960 you're like I feel guilty, you know, signing that contract 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:43.320 with the such and such team, right, you know, like I, 0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:46.920 But but reality is is to Dmitri's point is you 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:49.399 do need to do things that make you a healthier 0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:51.520 person and a help and a happier person. And I 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:55.520 think overall that will make the whole situation dynamic better. 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:58.600 So I agree with you. I exactly agree with what 0:19:58.720 --> 0:20:01.119 you said and what Dmitri said. So when I was 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:03.280 released by the l A Kings, I was playing in town, 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:05.240 finally living at home. My wife and I had done 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:07.080 long distance for three and a half years. I was 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:09.119 playing hockey in d C in Toronto. She's living in 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:11.600 l A. So we've done a long distance like that 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:13.520 for three and a half years. Finally I'm playing in 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:16.400 l A for the King's life is amazing. I'm playing 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:21.159 hockey and at home. Then the King's released me and 0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:23.119 I had a decision to make. Do I want to 0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:27.320 go somewhere else again and be away from home and 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:29.760 continue to play hockey, or do I want to stay 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:32.800 at home? And I chi it was my decision. My 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:34.719 wife was like, I support you, and whatever you want 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:36.680 to do. You want to go to Carolina, you want 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:38.600 to go to Florida, wherever you want to go play. 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:41.480 I support you. You know, I love you and I 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:43.240 want you to have the career that you want. So 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:44.960 I support you and God bless her for that, and 0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:47.240 I made the decision I do not want to be 0:20:47.280 --> 0:20:49.440 away from my wife. As much as I wanted to 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:52.000 play hockey, which is at an all time high, it 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:54.560 just got better every day. My desire to be with 0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:58.679