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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you

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Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is

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Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with

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Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for joining me for session three thirty seven the Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation

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Speaker 1: after a word from our sponsors introducing our new Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls Holiday gift collection. Our new ensemble of

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Speaker 1: drinkwaar totes, journals and sweaters were made to remind you

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Speaker 1: of the importance of centering your mental health. Purchase your

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Speaker 1: tvg gifts at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash shop.

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Speaker 1: Happy Holidays, y'all, remember to take good care and give

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Speaker 1: good gifts. Another year has unfolded for the Therapy for

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Speaker 1: Black Girls Podcast, bringing with it an abundance of enriching conversations,

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Speaker 1: enlightening guest contributions, and thought provoking gems. If you happen

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Speaker 1: to miss an episode, don't worry, because today we're revisiting

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Speaker 1: the top ten most listening to episodes of the podcast

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Speaker 1: this year. From the profound to the hilarious, we have

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Speaker 1: something for everyone, so cozy up, grab a snack, and

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Speaker 1: enjoy our twenty twenty three best of. As always, if

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Speaker 1: something resonates with you while enjoying this episode, please share

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Speaker 1: with us on social media using the hashtag TBG in

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Speaker 1: session or join us over in the Sister Circle to

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Speaker 1: talk more about the episode. You can join us at

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Speaker 1: community dot therapy for Blackgirls dot com. Here's our countdown.

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Speaker 1: Coming in at number ten of our most listened to

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Speaker 1: episodes of the year is Session three h two, The

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Speaker 1: Truth about imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism. In this conversation, myself

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Speaker 1: and licensed psychologist doctor Lisa Orbey Austin broke down what

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Speaker 1: exactly imposter syndrome is, why and how self sabotage might

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Speaker 1: show up unannounced to the party that is your life,

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Speaker 1: and why claiming to be a perfectionist is no that's

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Speaker 1: the kind of sorority you want to be a part of.

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Speaker 1: Here's one of my favorite gyms from this episode. So

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Speaker 1: let us break it all down for people who are

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Speaker 1: joining us for this conversation and talk about what does

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Speaker 1: it mean to have imposter syndrome? Like, what is the

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Speaker 1: definition of imposter syndrome?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So, imposter syndrome is when you are skilled, qualified, expert,

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Speaker 2: even have credentials, but you haven't internalized them, and as

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Speaker 2: a result of not internalizing them, you then have performance

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Speaker 2: anxiety about the things that you do. That performance anxiety

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Speaker 2: often leads to either self sabotage where you set yourself

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Speaker 2: up for failure, or where you overwork or overfunction to

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Speaker 2: cover this idea that you are actually fraudulent. Once you

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Speaker 2: receive performance feedback, typically you either like negate or get

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Speaker 2: rid of any positive feedback around your performance, and then

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Speaker 2: if there's any critical feedback about your performance, you hyper

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Speaker 2: focus on it with this idea that you'll never make

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Speaker 2: that mistake ever again, and then you get caught in

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Speaker 2: the cycle all over again. So it's a kind of

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Speaker 2: cyclical thing that begins with trigger where you're kind of

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Speaker 2: feeling like a fraud and that you're not going to enough.

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Speaker 1: So you mentioned a little while ago that there definitely

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Speaker 1: are strategies and interventions that people can try to work

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Speaker 1: through imposter syndrome. Can you say a little bit about

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Speaker 1: the things that we're helpful for you and working through

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Speaker 1: imposter syndrome and also other things people might be interested

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Speaker 1: in trying.

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Speaker 2: One of them is really learning how to identify automatic

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Speaker 2: negative thoughts when you're triggered, and then how to counter

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Speaker 2: them with basic CPT methodology that really works really lovely

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Speaker 2: with imposter syndrome. But the piece that we are working

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Speaker 2: on identifying is what are those imposter syndrome thoughts that

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Speaker 2: are happening. Oftentimes we have come to believe them is true,

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Speaker 2: and really recognizing that they're not necessarily true and they're

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Speaker 2: actually impeding or and reinforcing the imposter syndrome. Really is

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Speaker 2: part of the work is being able to identify and

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Speaker 2: distinguish them. One of the other pieces that we know

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Speaker 2: that imposter syndrome causes a lot of overwork, so it

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Speaker 2: causes burnout. That's significantly correlated to burnout. So one of

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Speaker 2: the things that we often are teaching people how to

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Speaker 2: do is how to really embrace and structure and prioritize

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Speaker 2: self care in their lives and really find ways to

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Speaker 2: kind of consider this as foundational. You don't get self

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Speaker 2: care when whatever time's left over you're actually thinking about it,

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Speaker 2: being very embedded.

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Speaker 1: So I wonder if you could share with us one

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Speaker 1: mantra or affirmation that you share with yourself when your

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Speaker 1: inner critic is louder than your inner cheerleader. That's a

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Speaker 1: great question.

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Speaker 2: I think it's my husband's mantra, which is, when you

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Speaker 2: work as hard for yourself as you do for others,

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Speaker 2: you're going to be unstoppable. And I think for me

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Speaker 2: that often doesn't mean just about work and also sometimes

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Speaker 2: means about prioritizing myself. And I think you know that

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Speaker 2: often when my inner critic is louder than my inner cheerleader,

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Speaker 2: oftentimes I need to care for myself deeper, and I'm

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Speaker 2: often losing connection to myself and that's when I start

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Speaker 2: to focus on, Okay, what else do I need? Do

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Speaker 2: my meditations need to go up in time? Do I

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Speaker 2: need to make sure that I'm taking care of my body.

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Speaker 2: Do I need to my mind like what's happening? And

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Speaker 2: how do I need to serve myself. So I do

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Speaker 2: often think about when I'm feeling most just regulated by

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Speaker 2: all that I need to kind of care for myself

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Speaker 2: in some particular way, and what is it? And I

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Speaker 2: sort of take that moment to reflect back on that.

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Speaker 1: How do I need to serve myself? That's definitely going

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Speaker 1: in my journal. I want you to want to take

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Speaker 1: a guess at what this next pick is. Here's a hint.

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Speaker 1: It shares a theme with one of the songs from

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Speaker 1: Beyonce's groundbreaking Renaissance album. It's actually my favorite on the album.

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Speaker 1: If you guess Session two ninety eight Church Hurt with

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Speaker 1: doctor Taym O'Bryant, you were correct. In episode nine of

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Speaker 1: our Countdown, we discussed the always important topic of how

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Speaker 1: religious institutions can create more ethical standards to protect members

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Speaker 1: from abuse.

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Speaker 3: Here's a snippet, and so we want to think about

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Speaker 3: this phrase. If it is humiliating, it's not healing. If

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Speaker 3: it's humiliating, it's not healing. So someone who is trying

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Speaker 3: to help me even to be better or to grow,

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Speaker 3: or to empower me in their presence, I don't feel

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Speaker 3: like they are glorying in my embarrassment, right They're not

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Speaker 3: celebrating and holding their power over me. They may have

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Speaker 3: power because I respect them and they're insightful and they

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Speaker 3: have some wisdom, But in the presence you think about

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Speaker 3: wise counsel, wise loving counsel. When I'm in the presence

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Speaker 3: of wisdom that is based in love, it actually sparks

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Speaker 3: and inspires my growth, versus I'm in the presence of

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Speaker 3: people who in order to feel good about themselves, they

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Speaker 3: have to insult me or others, And it might not

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Speaker 3: start with you. So you want to even pay attention

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Speaker 3: to how are they treating others? Who is it that

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Speaker 3: people are collectively laughing at and laughing about who gets

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Speaker 3: diminished on the microphone in the pullpit?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 3: And so what does it appear is the emotional maturity

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Speaker 3: of the people who are in charge, right, If they

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Speaker 3: are teasing, bullying, if primarily I feel they're just angry

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Speaker 3: all the time, then this is not likely good ground

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Speaker 3: for my spiritual growth.

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Speaker 1: I've been really encouraged to see more, you know, like

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Speaker 1: mental health ministries in churches, and can you talk a

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Speaker 1: little bit about why it's important for spirituality and like

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Speaker 1: psychologists and other therapists and mental health professionals to be

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Speaker 1: in alignment to have some of that kind of operating

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Speaker 1: in the similary.

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Speaker 3: That's right, It's so important, and I'm grateful to be

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Speaker 3: able to lead our mental health ministry at First Day

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Speaker 3: at Me Church in Los Angeles. And it pushes back

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Speaker 3: against the false choice that people need to either have

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Speaker 3: faith or go to therapy. US working in collaboratation and

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Speaker 3: communication is for the betterment of the community, right. And

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Speaker 3: you know what I like to say for pastors is

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Speaker 3: the importance of becoming comfortable making referrals to say that

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Speaker 3: this untrained person, an uninformed person because they love God,

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Speaker 3: is now in a position to take care of all

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Speaker 3: of your mental health needs. It's not fair. It's not

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Speaker 3: fair to the members, and it's also not fair to

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Speaker 3: that minister who is not prepared. And so there's nothing

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Speaker 3: shameful about making a referral while you will still provide

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Speaker 3: the pastoral support to also encourage people to get help

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Speaker 3: from professionals who are trained to address the issues so

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Speaker 3: we work better together.

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Speaker 1: That last pick was amazing, and next up it's even

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Speaker 1: more fire with session three oh three how trauma affects

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Speaker 1: the brain. Taking the number eight spot, I think you'll

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Speaker 1: enjoy this one. If you're interested to hear more about

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Speaker 1: the science high generational trauma. Let's hear one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite moments from this conversation with doctor Bianca Jones Morland. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, we talk a lot about in psychology around

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Speaker 1: like trauma getting tramped in the brain and like our

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Speaker 1: body experiencing trauma. Can you talk about what actually happens

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Speaker 1: in the brain when we have had a traumatic experience.

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Speaker 4: What happens in the brain when we have a traumatic experience.

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Speaker 4: I'll start off by saying, I'm a firm believer that

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Speaker 4: biology wants us to survive and thrive, So any change

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Speaker 4: the body.

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Speaker 1: Has is a.

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Speaker 4: Hopeful potential adaptation to the stimulus. What we've come to

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Speaker 4: see both as humans as we see this as we

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Speaker 4: live on this earth and walk throughout life, but also

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Speaker 4: as biologists, is that certain stressors, certain traumas change the

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Speaker 4: way we respond to future stressors and traumas because we've

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Speaker 4: learned a different response.

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Speaker 1: So that learning.

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Speaker 4: Mechanism, that's beautiful, that's in the brain, that's all established.

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Speaker 4: Like I was well studied, I would say how the

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Speaker 4: brain learns, and it would make sense that if you

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Speaker 4: are let's give an example of like you're walking down

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Speaker 4: the block and all of a sudden you walk past

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Speaker 4: a baseball field and a ball comes whizzing behind you.

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Speaker 2: You jump back.

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Speaker 4: The next time you walk past that baseball field, you're

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Speaker 4: going to keep your eyes offen both ways as you're

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Speaker 4: crossing the street. That heightened alertness that will maybe very

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Speaker 4: much aware of my surroundings is essential for your survival.

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Speaker 4: You to get to work looking cute and then wherever

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Speaker 4: you're going and not get hit by this baseball. But

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Speaker 4: when you're walking throughout life and you're not just walking

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Speaker 4: past a baseball field and you feel that constant at

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Speaker 4: to be aware something that could happen, this is when

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Speaker 4: it becomes maladaptive. So this is what really us as neuroscientists,

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Speaker 4: the group of us that are studying these facets, are

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Speaker 4: really looking at what does it mean to learn one experience,

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Speaker 4: generalize it to experiences that really it doesn't fit, and

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Speaker 4: then potentially even take those memories of that one bad

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Speaker 4: experience that could have been helpful in learning something although

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Speaker 4: it was unfortunate experience, and passing it down to the

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Speaker 4: next generation where they don't live anywhere in your baseball court,

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Speaker 4: but they feel that tension every time they walk down

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Speaker 4: the street.

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Speaker 1: I have always thought, if trauma can be pais intergenerationally,

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Speaker 1: can joy in the humor and all of those like

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Speaker 1: negative things right like? Can tholes be passed intergenerationally as will?

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Speaker 4: That's an awesome question, and I'm going to answer you

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Speaker 4: now as a human and out as a scientist, I

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Speaker 4: do believe they are because as a Black American, there's

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Speaker 4: no way that we could be here if we weren't

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Speaker 4: for that that ability to say, you know what, you've

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Speaker 4: gone through a lot for generations. But also strength is

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Speaker 4: part of something I'm going to teach you. We're going

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Speaker 4: to epigenetically have for survival and then therefore pass on

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Speaker 4: as part of our being. Does it come up that's

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Speaker 4: plus and minuses that word strength, that were diligence, that

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Speaker 4: word resilience. Of course they're triggering at this point, especially

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Speaker 4: after the last few years hearing them, but doesn't mean

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Speaker 4: that there's not a truth in them. And so I

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Speaker 4: personally believe that that's the case. Now when it comes

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Speaker 4: to what we're studying in the lab, we're really focusing

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Speaker 4: on the traumas first because I really hope that joy

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Speaker 4: has passed down, and if love and joy have passed down, great,

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Speaker 4: we have less work to do as scientists. But it's

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Speaker 4: really the traumas that are going to need our brains

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Speaker 4: and our attention our minds.

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Speaker 1: All right. Moving on to number seven on our list

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Speaker 1: of most listening to episodes of the year is session

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Speaker 1: two ninety two Quiet Firing and Life after Layoffs. We

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Speaker 1: talked about the psychological effects of losing work and it

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Speaker 1: clearly resonated with a lot of you. Here's a snippet

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Speaker 1: of my conversation with community member Flow and doctor laf Washington.

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Speaker 5: So I found out that I lost my job over

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Speaker 5: a zoo meeting or teams meeting, but a virtual meeting

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Speaker 5: of some sort. It was around of September twenty twenty.

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Speaker 5: It was during the pandemic, so there was a lot

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Speaker 5: of uncertainty outside, and having to lose my job was

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Speaker 5: another aspect of uncertainty. So for me, even though I

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Speaker 5: may have I wounded that this day was going to come,

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Speaker 5: just being called into that virtual meeting and hearing the

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Speaker 5: woods well we no longer require your employment really stung.

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Speaker 5: So I had to prepare myself. I tried to remain come. However,

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Speaker 5: after I got.

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Speaker 6: Off the call.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I cried, tears roll on my face. I remember,

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Speaker 5: like my hands were trembling, and I picked up the

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Speaker 5: phone and I called my significant other and I told

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Speaker 5: him the news. I was like, yes, it was just confirmed.

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Speaker 5: I've been laid off. Mind you, I had to work

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Speaker 5: out the end of the month, So I had to

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Speaker 5: show up every day for the remainder of the month

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Speaker 5: of September, knowing that comely thirtieth that would be it.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, it was a lot of managing emotions. Sometimes

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Speaker 5: we want to take it personally, and I might say

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Speaker 5: that I perhaps took it personally because it's almost as

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Speaker 5: if someone is telling you knew personally like you are

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Speaker 5: no longer wanted. It means not necessarily condemning your ability

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Speaker 5: to do your job, and it's just the reality of

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Speaker 5: an economic situation.

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Speaker 1: What kind of recommendations do you have for people, especially

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Speaker 1: in the immediate aftermath of a layoff.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, it's tough, first of all. So let's just acknowledge

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Speaker 7: it doesn't feel good and no one wants to be

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Speaker 7: laid off, even if there's you know, a light at

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Speaker 7: the end of the tunnel, and all of that, you

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Speaker 7: have to give yourself time to process. It's a loss,

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Speaker 7: and you may go through a grieving process around like

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Speaker 7: this identity being shifted, and that's okay. Give yourself that

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Speaker 7: time and space. I think once you move past those

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Speaker 7: initial shock feelings and that initial anger or other things

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Speaker 7: you may be feeling, think about it as a time

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Speaker 7: to reevaluate and align your goals and interests. You know,

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Speaker 7: reflect on that job that you are leaving. What parts

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Speaker 7: of the job did you love and you can't wait

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Speaker 7: to do again. What parts of the job just did

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Speaker 7: not serve you and you will not miss and you

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Speaker 7: don't want to recreate? Also, think it's an opportunity to

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Speaker 7: reinvent yourself if you would like, right, this could be

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Speaker 7: an opportunity to get into another career, explore hobbies that

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Speaker 7: can be career oriented in the future, go back to school,

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Speaker 7: like the sky is the limit. And so when we

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Speaker 7: don't limit ourselves based on again our previously defined identities,

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Speaker 7: we may find that we are going to do something

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Speaker 7: that is totally different but much more fulfilling to us.

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Speaker 7: So give yourself that space. And then finally, I say,

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Speaker 7: tap into your community. Like it can be embarrassing, it

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Speaker 7: can feel lonely. It's a hurtful place to be laid off,

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Speaker 7: but your community is there for you right tap into

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Speaker 7: your friends and family network, let them know when you're struggling.

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Speaker 7: Don't grapple with feelings of depression or loss by yourself

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Speaker 7: if you don't have to. That is the power of

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Speaker 7: our community, and I encourage us, even in these tough

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Speaker 7: and uncomfortable moments to lean into that.

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Speaker 1: I'm always so grateful for our guests for their insight

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Speaker 1: and vulnerability. After more than five years building this podcast,

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Speaker 1: it lifts my spirit to be creating a safe space

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Speaker 1: for black women to share our knowledge and lived experiences.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of getting sentimental, our next pick is an episode

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Speaker 1: that is near and dear to my heart because it

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Speaker 1: was the first time I revealed the release date of

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Speaker 1: my debut book, Sisterhood Heels. There was no better way

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Speaker 1: to celebrate this announcement than an incredible conversation about healthy

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Speaker 1: friendships with the one and only Debbie Brown. Without further ado,

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Speaker 1: this is number six on our list, Session two ninety five,

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Speaker 1: a conversation on healthy Friendships with Debbie Brown.

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Speaker 8: Okay, you are in the midst of writing your first book,

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Speaker 8: Doctor Joy and when I have a chance to kind

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Speaker 8: of read up on what it was about. I feel

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Speaker 8: so excited because this conversation your book, let me start

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Speaker 8: by saying, is called Sisterhood Heels and it's set to

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Speaker 8: release summer twenty twenty three. That title, Sisterhood Heels is

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Speaker 8: so powerful, and I think we are in the midst

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Speaker 8: of creating an entirely new template for what friendship can

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Speaker 8: look like, and especially friendship among women and Black women.

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Speaker 8: There seems to be this evolution in the air, this

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Speaker 8: new understanding of emotional intelligence that people are trying to

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Speaker 8: connect to.

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Speaker 1: So what is this book about?

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Speaker 8: Tell me that thing that's.

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Speaker 1: Exciting to chat with you about this divvy because I've

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Speaker 1: also heard you talk about this. I know that this

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Speaker 1: is something that's important to you as well.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 1: But when I think about like who we have been

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Speaker 1: as black women in like what our history and the

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Speaker 1: country has been and in the world, a lot of

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Speaker 1: our surviving and thriving is connected to one another. And

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Speaker 1: I think I have seen that even more so in

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Speaker 1: the pandemic right just around, like will aid exchanges and

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Speaker 1: offering what you have to your community and to your neighbors,

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Speaker 1: and all of those kinds of things. And so to

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Speaker 1: me it is crystal clear, as it always has been,

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Speaker 1: that to get through this thing called life, it has

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Speaker 1: to be together, that we need to do this thing together.

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Speaker 1: And so the book is really all about a lot

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Speaker 1: of my experience has been in facilitating group therapy, and

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Speaker 1: so the book is really about the lessons and things

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Speaker 1: that I have learned from group therapy that can also

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Speaker 1: help us in our individual sisterhoods. So how do we

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Speaker 1: pay attention to the different dynamics that happen in sisterhoods

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Speaker 1: and the changes and if unfortunately a sisterhood has to end,

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Speaker 1: how do you navigate that in a way that's as

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Speaker 1: compassionate and kind as possible.

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Speaker 9: Okay, take my money.

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Speaker 8: Wow, God, this is so needed.

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Speaker 3: This is so needed.

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Speaker 1: Thank y'all so much for everybody who has supported Sisterhood

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Speaker 1: Heals so far. Thank you for joining us on the

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Speaker 1: tour stops in Chicago, Miami, Atlanta, New York, Houston, and

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Speaker 1: New Orleans. Thank you for tagging us on social media,

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Speaker 1: for buying the book for yourself and your friends, family members,

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Speaker 1: and most importantly, thank you for pouring into this collective

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Speaker 1: sisterhood cracking the top five of our most listened to

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Speaker 1: episodes of twenty twenty three is a conversation about a

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Speaker 1: topic that I think many of us can relate to.

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Speaker 1: It's the strong black woman trope. We explored this in

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Speaker 1: session two ninety three, Black Women and the Superwoman Schema

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Speaker 1: with doctor Cheryl Woods Giscombe. Take a listen. So, at

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Speaker 1: what point did your research turn to the strong black

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Speaker 1: woman or superwoman schema? How did you fall into that research?

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Speaker 10: It was during that time where you know, I was

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Speaker 10: very much interested in the African American experience from high

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Speaker 10: school and the courses I took in college, but also

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Speaker 10: beginning to understand how adverse birth outcomes were disproportionately high

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Speaker 10: among Black women and that stress was a factor and

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Speaker 10: racism as a stressor was important to study. So those

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Speaker 10: foundational elements of my education helped me to see that

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Speaker 10: the way that we measure stress, or the way that

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Speaker 10: we were measuring stress and research and this is like

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Speaker 10: the late nineteen nineties early two thousands was not nuanced.

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Speaker 3: Enough to.

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Speaker 10: Understand the ways that Black women experienced stress and the

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Speaker 10: ways they chose to cope, and definitely wasn't nuanced enough

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Speaker 10: to help us understand how stress influenced health outcomes, and

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Speaker 10: so I came across literature, lay literature like I Said's

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Speaker 10: magazine literature written by noted black femail authors, but also

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Speaker 10: the research literature suggesting that gender and race were important

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Speaker 10: factors and how we measure stress. But what we weren't

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Speaker 10: doing was measuring this concept that we now called the

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Speaker 10: strong Black woman or the black superwoman, where black women

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Speaker 10: appear and we are very much strong. However, there's more

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Speaker 10: to it than what meets the eye, and so during

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Speaker 10: my dissertation, my advisor allowed me to ask some exploratory

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Speaker 10: questions informed by the literature, about things such as perceived

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Speaker 10: obligation to be strong. And at that time I was

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Speaker 10: really interested in emotional suppression and how emotional suppression. The

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Speaker 10: literature was suggesting for broader populations that emotional expression was healthy,

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Speaker 10: that it strengthened the immune system protected against the common cold.

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Speaker 10: And so if we were suppressing emotions due to perceived

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Speaker 10: obligations or related to perceived obligations to be strong, that

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Speaker 10: made me concern that it was maybe weakening our immune

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Speaker 10: system and weakening our health. My dissertation led me to

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Speaker 10: do some qualitative research with black women from various age

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Speaker 10: groups and educational backgrounds, and that's where that concept of

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Speaker 10: Superwoman's schema became expanded in response to the data that

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Speaker 10: we collected to have five characteristics, which is that perceived

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Speaker 10: obligation to be strong or to present image of strength,

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Speaker 10: as well as perceived obligations to suppress emotions, resistance to

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Speaker 10: being vulnerable or receiving help from others. That's the third characteristic,

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Speaker 10: motivation to succeed despite limited resources, and we all prioritization

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Speaker 10: of caregiving over self care.

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Speaker 1: And I think I.

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Speaker 10: Listed all five.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 10: So those five characteristics were derived from the qualitative data

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Speaker 10: that was collected, and then a series of studies that

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Speaker 10: I conducted and now that many other researchers are conducting,

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Speaker 10: confirm that those categories. And now we're showing relationships between

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Speaker 10: Superwoman's schema characteristics and health resilience as well as adverse

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Speaker 10: health effects.

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Speaker 1: So you know that, to Sharyl, my experience with a

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Speaker 1: lot of black women is that we do not even

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Speaker 1: recognize that we are headed towards a brick wall until

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Speaker 1: we are crashed into it. And so I wonder if

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Speaker 1: you can offer some suggestions around how people might even

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Speaker 1: know that they are struggling with the superwoman syndrome.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, I think again. I think that's why it's really

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Speaker 10: important for us to have some form of mind body practice.

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Speaker 10: It could be mindfulness, it could be yoga, it could

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Speaker 10: be other forms of meditation, it could be your spiritual practices,

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Speaker 10: because those are the things that help us to slow

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Speaker 10: down and recognize that things are off balance. And oftentimes

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Speaker 10: you're right. That's when we notice is when we've gone

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Speaker 10: too far, where we crash or there's a burnout. I mean,

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Speaker 10: I'm not trying to advocate for crashing or burnout, but

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Speaker 10: I also want women to know that we have what

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Speaker 10: is enthusiasm right about making things better and helping other people.

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Speaker 3: And when we.

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Speaker 10: Notice that, it's okay to step back and rest and

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Speaker 10: let people know that I'm out of the office or

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Speaker 10: I'm on vacation, or I'm taking a Facebook fast or

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Speaker 10: all the different things that people do. So I think

439
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,639
Speaker 10: the biggest way is to have friends that our accountability partners.

440
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 10: Others also might benefit from formal therapy, you know, having

441
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 10: someone that you check in with on a regular basis,

442
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 10: which can be a proactive way of preventing things from

443
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 10: getting out of the hand or dealing with things when

444
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 10: they've gotten too far and then maintaining that. So I

445
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 10: think having a variety of strategies is important for sure.

446
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 1: More from our countdown after the break. Okay, now, I

447
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: don't mean to make you hungry. Oh maybe I do.

448
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: But the number four spot on our most listened to

449
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: episodes the list of twenty twenty three is session two

450
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: ninety growing Foods at Home. In this episode, I spoke

451
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 1: with internationally recognized urban former Jimilla Norman about the rich

452
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: and empowering history of black folks stewarting the land and

453
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 1: how you can get started with gardening. Here's a snippet

454
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: of our conversation. Something else did you talk about is

455
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: food sovereignty, So can you say a little bit about

456
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: what that means to you and how it impacts us

457
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 1: as black folks.

458
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 11: Food sovereignty is really about having control of the food

459
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 11: that you're consuming, having access to it, and also food

460
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 11: that's culturally relevant, food that is necessary for your cultural

461
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 11: expression through food, because food is culture, and just being

462
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 11: in the position to be part of creating food that

463
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:36,199
Speaker 11: is feeding your community. Right, you're cultivating that food with

464
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 11: a certain type of intention of healing of growth, the

465
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 11: culture of the githerness, and so that is going to

466
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 11: carry on through the people that are engaging with you,

467
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 11: that are buying from you, that are all of that.

468
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 11: And people want to see themselves reflected in the things

469
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 11: that they're engaged with. If you're going healthy or going

470
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 11: to the farming table movement or what have you, and

471
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 11: it all looks like everybody else feel like there's a

472
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:02,880
Speaker 11: space for you there, or that you should be there,

473
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 11: or was like that ain't for me, you know, people

474
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 11: say that that ain't O think, Yeah it is. It's

475
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,679
Speaker 11: actually was I think before it was anybody else's thing.

476
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 11: I'll be going off on people's stuff. Look here, let's

477
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 11: talk about history. So it's really important for us to

478
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 11: get connected. And again, like I said, everybody doesn't have

479
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 11: to be a farmer, doesn't have to get into farming,

480
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 11: but being connected to it, engaging with it. Find your

481
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 11: black farmers, support them. If there's an opportunity to bring

482
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 11: that to your school or your community or your neighborhood,

483
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 11: support it in some way and just uplift and highlight

484
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 11: and just do the work of being connected in some way.

485
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 1: We have reached the top three of our most listened

486
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 1: to episodes of the year, and I know you all

487
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: are as curious as I am to know what topics

488
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 1: resonated the most capturing. The number three spot on our

489
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 1: list is Session two eighty nine, an astrological preview of

490
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. I love that we're able to revisit

491
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 1: this episode at the end of the year to see

492
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: what the star's got just right enjoying this clip from

493
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 1: my conversation with astrologer and author Mecca Woods. So, what

494
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 1: kinds of themes, what kinds of things should we just

495
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: be mindful about for three?

496
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, No, I think that's a great question, and it's

497
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 6: something that I'm still pondering and kind of thinking about

498
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 6: in terms of what things look like, but so far

499
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 6: without getting too in the weeds about it. One of

500
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 6: the planetary shifts that's happening next year is that planet

501
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 6: Pluto is moving from Capricorn into the sign of Aquarius.

502
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 6: Right now, Pluto is in astrology, the planet that's associated

503
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 6: with power and rebirth. So since roughly about two thousand

504
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 6: and eight, we've had Pluto transiting the sign or moving,

505
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 6: you know, stations in the sign of Capricorn, and that

506
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 6: is what we saw in terms of the bank collapsing

507
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 6: back in two thousand and eight. Up until this point,

508
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 6: we've seen a lot of greed and corruption and a

509
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 6: lot of like corporations and governments, you know, just running unchecked.

510
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 6: You know, like a lot of power kind of running unchecked. Right,

511
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 6: And that's the dark side or the shadowy side of

512
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 6: Pluto's job is to show us things that need to

513
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 6: be changed.

514
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 4: You know.

515
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 6: It forces us to really take a hard look at

516
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 6: the things that are going on so that we can

517
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 6: actually do something about it. Right, And a lot of

518
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 6: times the things that Pluto shows us are typically things

519
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 6: that are ugly, you know, things that aren't so nice.

520
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 3: And so now.

521
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 6: Coming up in March of twenty twenty three, Pluto will

522
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 6: enter Aquarius and stay there for a few months, because

523
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 6: it will kind of go back and forth between Aquarius

524
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 6: and Capricorn next year, but it'll officially make it stay

525
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 6: in Aquarius in early twenty twenty four January twenty twenty four.

526
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 6: But what this basically means is that, you know, Aquarius

527
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 6: is a sign that is very group oriented, very collective oriented.

528
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 6: So if we talked about Pluto and Aquarius, there is

529
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 6: a very much like a power to the people sentiment

530
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 6: that comes with that particular placement. But here's the thing

531
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 6: about that, right. I think when we talk about astrology,

532
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 6: I always try to stress to people that there's two

533
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 6: ways that we can use the energy or the tools

534
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 6: that are available to us. Right, we can do it

535
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 6: in a way where we are expressing the positive side,

536
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 6: or we can go down, you know, into the negative side. Right,

537
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 6: there's a low vibrational side, if you will. But when

538
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 6: we talk about this Pluto and Aquarius story, like I

539
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 6: would like to see, I think what we will see

540
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 6: is like more people organizing and pushing back against the

541
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 6: corruption and the injustice and the you know, the corporate

542
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 6: greed that we've been seeing over the past couple of

543
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 6: years that've just kind of getting worse and worse as

544
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 6: the days gone. I think that we're going to see

545
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 6: more people banding together, whether it be trying to form

546
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 6: unions in their place of work or thinking about how

547
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 6: they can revamp the legal system, people doing work in

548
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 6: their own individual way, banding together to create and foster change,

549
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 6: which is very Pluto and Aquarius. However, right, the downside

550
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 6: of that is that I do think that we're going

551
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 6: to have to still keep an eye on that extremism

552
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 6: that we've been seeing over the past couple of years,

553
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 6: because one of the things about Aquarius is that it

554
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 6: can be group oriented in the sense of like, yeah,

555
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 6: let's work together, let's be a community, let's make things happen,

556
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 6: but it can also foster the sentiment of let's tear

557
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 6: it all down, let's burn it all down, that sort

558
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 6: of extremist, you know, or fundamentalist sort of mentality. And

559
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 6: so we've already saw a little bit gotten a taste

560
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 6: of that already over this past year, especially with some

561
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,239
Speaker 6: of the domestic terrorism that's been taking place. So I

562
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 6: do think that's something that we're going to have to

563
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:10,239
Speaker 6: continue to watch and be mindful of. But I do

564
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 6: think that, you know, if we are able to continue

565
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 6: doing the work that Pluto is calling us to do,

566
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 6: which is calling out the corruption and the injustice and

567
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 6: the cruelty and all of the things that we've been seeing,

568
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 6: I think it will empower us to actually be able

569
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 6: to make some deep and profound and lasting changes.

570
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 1: Who I'm going to need a second to process the

571
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: fact that Mecca just accurately predicted the kind of twenty

572
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: twenty three many of us ended up living through. Twenty

573
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 1: twenty three was most certainly a year for groups coming

574
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: together to enact changed against corruption and injustice. While I

575
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: get my chart in order for twenty twenty four, y'all

576
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: get into this next pick. It's a part of our

577
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 1: series that has been so much fun to bring to life.

578
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: Our next featured episode was the first release of the

579
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: year year and our second most listened to episode of

580
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, Session two eighty eight Setting your intentions

581
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 1: for travel with Jessica Nabongo, who is the first black

582
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,719
Speaker 1: woman to have traveled to every country in the world.

583
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: Let's roll the clip. If somebody is unfamiliar kind of

584
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: getting started with their you know, bitten by the travel bug,

585
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: how do they decide what kind of trip they want

586
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: to have?

587
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 9: I mean, I think it's so important to focus on

588
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 9: your preferences and your desires and what you enjoy doing.

589
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 9: So if you enjoy the beach, then focused on beach locations.

590
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 9: If you enjoy city skates, then do that. So I

591
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 9: think it really has to come from a place of

592
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 9: what are you most interested in doing and if it's

593
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 9: like one of your first trips, definitely what you're going

594
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 9: to feel most comfortable to it.

595
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 4: That's the most important thing.

596
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: So you encourage people who want to travel more to

597
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: prioritize their travels. Can you say what this looks like

598
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 1: in a tangible sense?

599
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:03,959
Speaker 8: Yeah?

600
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 9: Absolutely. I think what it looks like is, you know,

601
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 9: if you're preparing for a trip, it's putting money away

602
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 9: every paycheck in the same way that you would put

603
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 9: away money for a car, put away money for a house.

604
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 9: If you really want to start traveling and make it

605
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 9: a part of your regular life, you have to put

606
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,840
Speaker 9: that money away. So that might mean that you're cutting

607
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 9: back on other things. Right, So if it's the expensive

608
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 9: coffee that you're not having any every single day, or

609
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 9: you know, you're going out with your girlfriends and you

610
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 9: usually have three drinks, maybe just have one so that

611
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 9: you can save that money. I think that's important. The

612
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 9: other thing that I do is I use credit cards

613
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 9: with travel rewards, so I don't pay cash for anything

614
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 9: in my life, unless it's like tips or you know,

615
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 9: they only accept cash. I use my travel cards for

616
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 9: every single thing because then I get all of those

617
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 9: points and I'm like any my points, and you know,

618
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 9: when you're spending at like restaurants, like for example, the

619
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 9: Chase that fire. If you're spending at restaurants, you get

620
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 9: I think three or five times of points. If you're

621
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 9: spending on travel, which includes ubers and everything, then you

622
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 9: get like it's either three or five times points. And

623
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 9: so those sorts of things are just great because the

624
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 9: money that you're spending anyway on groceries on your uber

625
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 9: turns into free.

626
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:24,359
Speaker 1: Travel in addition to shopping at the markets. Are there

627
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 1: other ways when we're traveling abroad that we can make

628
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 1: sure that we are using our dollars in a way

629
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: that supports the local economy.

630
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 9: Tip tip tip, tip tip tip. You know, I think

631
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 9: tip your housekeepers in the hotel, tip your drivers, dorman,

632
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 9: you know what I mean when you eat, because in

633
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 9: most countries outside of the US, tipping is not standard,

634
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 9: especially in restaurants. It's just not standards. So I think,

635
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 9: just find ways to tip, because that's putting money directly

636
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 9: in someone's pocket, you know. And I think when it

637
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 9: comes to travel agencies and tour guides, try to find

638
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 9: locally owned companies. Especially in a lot of like African

639
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 9: and Asian countries, you'll find that French people own it.

640
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 9: Or British people own it, so really try to dig

641
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 9: a little deeper and find places that are locally owned,

642
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 9: because that means that money is staying in the country

643
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 9: versus like you're spending your money and it's going back

644
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 9: to Paris or London.

645
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: More from our countdown after the break. All right, y'all,

646
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: we have made it to the number one most listened

647
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 1: to episode of the year, and this episode is all

648
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 1: about the Benjamins. The fact that this conversation took the

649
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 1: top spot. Lets me know, y'all clearly said the intention

650
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 1: of getting to the bag this year, and I hope

651
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: we assisted you with that goal with this conversation. Introducing

652
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,959
Speaker 1: our number one most listened to episode of the year,

653
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,240
Speaker 1: Session two ninety one Getting Good with Money with Tiffany

654
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: the Budgetnista Elitching. So can you give us a crash

655
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: course in these ten components of financial wholeness?

656
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 12: I sir, kept, you know what, let me go ahead

657
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 12: and get Good with Money. This is my dad a

658
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:38,320
Speaker 12: black moment.

659
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 1: There we go.

660
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 12: So this is my dear const syally book, Get Good

661
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 12: with Money, and I wrote it in response to the

662
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 12: literally tens of thousands of questions I used to get

663
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 12: every day, and the teacher in me was just like, oh, man,

664
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 12: like I wish I had like a tool to give

665
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 12: people when I'm not here. I wanted something like a

666
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,919
Speaker 12: legacy that they can hear my voice and go through

667
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 12: the lessons without having me to sit next to them

668
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,280
Speaker 12: like I used to when I first started budgeting stuff.

669
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 9: So first thing is budgeting. You have to get your

670
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 9: budget under control. That's number one. And each of these

671
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 9: ten will let.

672
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 12: You know if you have reached one hundred percent of

673
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 12: financial hollness. So do you have a budget it is

674
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 12: it semi automated? Two is saving? Have you mastered saving?

675
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 12: And is that automated as well? Three is debt. You

676
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 12: don't have to be debt free, but do you have

677
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 12: a debt plan in place that is actively working on

678
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 12: your behalf automated as well, so you'd have to set

679
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 12: it and semi forget it, so you have a debt

680
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 12: plan in place that's working for you.

681
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 3: Four is your credit.

682
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 12: Ideally you want to have a credit score of seven

683
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 12: forty or above. Seven forty is the beginning of perfect credit.

684
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 12: Some of your friends are like, oh, I got a

685
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 12: eight hundred. It's like that's cute, Sis, We don't need

686
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 12: all that. Once you have a seven forty, you and

687
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 12: I can get the same interest.

688
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 9: Rate, So that's four.

689
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 12: Five is learning to earn, and so this is critical

690
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 12: because I think everyone thinks that the key to mastering

691
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 12: their money, especially for black folks, is to spend less,

692
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 12: and that's not true. You have to sometimes learn to

693
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 12: bring more income in. Sometimes that's the solution. So learning

694
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,479
Speaker 12: to earn, whether it's getting a raise at work or

695
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 12: finding external income from your normal job. Six is investing

696
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 12: for both retirement and wealth. There's a distinction because when

697
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 12: you invest for retirement, that is so you can maintain

698
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 12: your current lifestyle. So look around this how you're going

699
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 12: to live when you are older, your current lifestyle. Investing

700
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 12: for wealth, though, allows you to increase your lifestyle and

701
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 12: to leave a legacy. But retirement comes first, So solidify

702
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 12: your current lifestyle first.

703
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 9: Six is getting good with insurance. So many people don't

704
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 9: understand the power and the purpose of insurance.

705
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 12: Insurance is there to protect your assets. So when I

706
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 12: first started working with Angeli, she was like, girl, you

707
00:39:58,680 --> 00:39:59,879
Speaker 12: are in short like you're twenty five.

708
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 3: It was like, but I look twenty five. She's like,

709
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 3: but you're not.

710
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 9: So she was like, you now have this successful business,

711
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 9: you have properties, and you don't have enough insurance to

712
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 9: protect your assets in case one something happens to you

713
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 9: or two something happens on your properties, and so I

714
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 9: have to increase my insurance. So understanding and having enough insurance.

715
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 9: Seven is net worth.

716
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 12: So your net worth is just what you own minus

717
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 12: what you owe, and you want to have a positive networth.

718
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 9: You want to own more than you own.

719
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:35,240
Speaker 12: You do this by increasing your assets and decreasing your liabilities.

720
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 12: Eight is your financial team.

721
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 9: Money is a team sport. You should not be out

722
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 9: here doing it alone. At the very least, you should

723
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 9: have an accountability partner. It could be your work hubby,

724
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,839
Speaker 9: it could be your best to, your cousin, your mom,

725
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 9: or your dad, someone that you're connected with that wants

726
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 9: to see you win and you want to see them

727
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 9: win as well. And less, but not least. Ten is

728
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 9: a state planning. So this is really important, especially for

729
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 9: us as a black community, because so many of us

730
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:10,320
Speaker 9: don't have the estate in place. That is something should

731
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 9: happen to us, and you know, I'll see you on

732
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 9: Wealth ISLANDSS. It's cute over here.

733
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: Again. Thank you to our incredible guests and our community

734
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: members who lent their voices to the Therapy for Black

735
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 1: Girls podcast this year. I want to thank you all

736
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 1: so much for your support and for making this an

737
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 1: unforgettable year for the podcast. You may have noticed that

738
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: a significant portion of our top ten this year came

739
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 1: from our January Jumpstar series. Well, I'm excited to announce

740
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: that we will be continuing the series for the third

741
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 1: year in twenty twenty four, so stay tuned for even

742
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:02,360
Speaker 1: more amazing insights. To stay connected with us at Therapy

743
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 1: for Black Girls, be sure to visit the website at

744
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 1: Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. If you're looking for a

745
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,760
Speaker 1: therapist in your area, be sure to visit our therapist

746
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 1: directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory. And

747
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 1: if you want to continue this conversation or just be

748
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 1: in community with other sisters, come on over and join

749
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of

750
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,399
Speaker 1: the Internet designed just for black women. You can join

751
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: us at community dot Therapy for Black Girls dot com.

752
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis, and

753
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 1: Zarius Taylor. Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all

754
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 1: so much for joining me again this week. I look

755
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,280
Speaker 1: forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon.

756
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:47,439
Speaker 1: Take good care.

757
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 4: What's