WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Trial By Separation

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<v Speaker 1>Second date. When you date online, some people connect over

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<v Speaker 1>shared interests or hobbies. Other people connect because they're both

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<v Speaker 1>freaking hot. But one of our listeners, Thomas, says he

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<v Speaker 1>connected with a woman online over their joint sadness. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>something like that. Okay, suck to Thomas, Thomas. Did you

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<v Speaker 1>meet her on tiermatch dot com or wasn't the Kleenex club?

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<v Speaker 1>Which one was? That's cute, Well that could go. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not getting paid by any of the services I use.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna given to be free advertising. But we

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<v Speaker 1>did meet online. Okay, what's the sadness you speak of?

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<v Speaker 1>My friend? Well, you know how you can put like

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<v Speaker 1>whether you're single or divorce. There's an option where you

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<v Speaker 1>can put separated, and so I thought I would be

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<v Speaker 1>honest since the divorces and finalized or anything, So I

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<v Speaker 1>listed my status as separated. Okay, why wouldn't you normally

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<v Speaker 1>do that? Well, I would normally tell the truth. That's

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<v Speaker 1>what I do. But I think sometimes people don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to scare somebody off, you know, like, yeah, it's I

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<v Speaker 1>think it'd be a turn off, Like people are in

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<v Speaker 1>the middle of something really messy, like you just don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to even swipe on them. It's like single and

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<v Speaker 1>people sometimes put it's complicated. Yeah, you're obviously involved with somebody,

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<v Speaker 1>but some people think that's a turn on. They're like

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<v Speaker 1>a disaster people you usually want to date. Chef, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. He says that he matched with somebody

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<v Speaker 1>that was separated too. It sounds like, yes, her name

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<v Speaker 1>is Celia and she also had separated on her profile. Okay, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>she had a very nice smile, that she had big

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<v Speaker 1>curly hair. I'm a sucker pile. Didn't think that was coming,

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<v Speaker 1>but awesome, that's good. The hair is also a very

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<v Speaker 1>good feature. I mean, that's it's a good start though,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to change the subject to a quick it's

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<v Speaker 1>a good start that you guys are going through. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how similar it is, but a similar

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<v Speaker 1>life experience. So you're coming in with with understanding and

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<v Speaker 1>you probably don't feel like you have to explain a lot,

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<v Speaker 1>right sure, Well, I mean that's kind of like prefaces

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<v Speaker 1>into why I'm calling y'all. Um, we went on a

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<v Speaker 1>date and this is my first first date since the

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<v Speaker 1>you know, well my VBX wife. Yeah, and um, she's

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<v Speaker 1>not a couple. Of guys, like coffee or something super

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<v Speaker 1>casual and so we um, you know, we got a

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<v Speaker 1>bite to eat. Okay, wait, what were you feeling like?

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<v Speaker 1>Slow down, because this is the first date out of

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<v Speaker 1>your marriage. Let me guess. Hold on, I'm a psychic.

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<v Speaker 1>You were nervous? No, he could have been feeling excited.

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<v Speaker 1>Worth the money, tell us, Yeah, I went all out.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I got dressed to the nines like Jim

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<v Speaker 1>Carrey and dumb at dumb our tuxedo. You know that

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't sound nervous, of course, of course. Yeah, you never know.

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<v Speaker 1>You've been out of the dating game for a minute.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you just didn't read the room right anymore. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I thought it was positive that, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I got a first date out of messaging someone over

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<v Speaker 1>the internet. So I mean that was you know, my

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<v Speaker 1>uh start. That was pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah, Well how

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<v Speaker 1>did it go when you showed up? Like? How was

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<v Speaker 1>how was Celia? What was the vibe? You know, aside

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<v Speaker 1>from the usual kind of laughs and jokes, a crack

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<v Speaker 1>the thing that we definitely bonded over. I would say

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<v Speaker 1>like fifty percent of the date was our situation that

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<v Speaker 1>led us to being separated on you know, both of

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<v Speaker 1>us kind of talking about our personal life, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's good. That's good because normally, if you're on

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<v Speaker 1>a date with someone who's just single, they won't relate

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<v Speaker 1>and you wouldn't dare bring it up, you know, because

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<v Speaker 1>you don't want to hear about it. But if you're

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<v Speaker 1>both going through it, it's like, no, please, I need

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<v Speaker 1>someone to talk to about that. I guess that is key.

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<v Speaker 1>You both have it in common so you can bond

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<v Speaker 1>over it. Yeah, is that is that how it went? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean there definitely wasn't a pity party for it

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<v Speaker 1>was like bonding. Yeah. How many shots at tequila do

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<v Speaker 1>you need in order to get that? But it's only like,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, maybe one two margaritas maybe? Okay, that's good.

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<v Speaker 1>So what I mean? Were you able to flirt too, though?

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<v Speaker 1>Because if you're talking a lot about you know, your

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<v Speaker 1>exes and things, I mean we didn't. I mean, no

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<v Speaker 1>one stayed the night at anybody's house or anything like that.

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<v Speaker 1>But like I said, I cracked some folks. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I got some genuine laughs, So you know I count

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<v Speaker 1>that out of flirting. Okay, why do you want to

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<v Speaker 1>call her back? I mean, maybe this was just your

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<v Speaker 1>practice date right before you you got a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>i'm guessing time to make up for right now? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>well yeah, why aren't you sleeping with everybody around town?

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<v Speaker 1>Are sticking to one person? I'm just saying, like, why

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<v Speaker 1>why heard like it's your first day. Well, the first

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<v Speaker 1>date I thought went well, So I'm figuring that, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I might as well before I go a fish of

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<v Speaker 1>the sea as it is, I might as well make

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<v Speaker 1>sure this one's off the hook. Got to cut the line.

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<v Speaker 1>That was a lot of differences, and it doesn't women.

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<v Speaker 1>Well we didn't go to that. Well, yeah, let's get

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<v Speaker 1>back to the date. How did the night end? You know,

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<v Speaker 1>like I said, no, we saved anybody's house. There was

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<v Speaker 1>no making out or anything like that. Hug Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>there was a hug. But one thing that I think

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<v Speaker 1>is kind of concern that I would say is she

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<v Speaker 1>had mentioned that the reason of her separation was there

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<v Speaker 1>was cheating involved, and I could see how she did

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<v Speaker 1>not want to put out any kind of vulnerability, like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, to get herself her like like I'm trying

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<v Speaker 1>to be a player, which I'm not, you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not trying to be my intention was to get

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<v Speaker 1>over and go on a second date. And did you

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<v Speaker 1>guys make any like future plans? I always think that's

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<v Speaker 1>a good sign on a date. Yeah, well we didn't

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<v Speaker 1>nail I mean we didn't nail down. It was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>let's go miniature golfing, you know tomorrow. We didn't do

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<v Speaker 1>anything like that. It was like a hug at the

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<v Speaker 1>end of the night, and it was I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>make sure you get home safe and then I'll see

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<v Speaker 1>what you wanted to do. So how was the hug?

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<v Speaker 1>Was it like a quick huggle, like a sense you along?

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<v Speaker 1>She smelled your hair kind of like you don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to answer that if you don't want you smell people's

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<v Speaker 1>hair on the first day ever. Just it was just

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<v Speaker 1>a nice hug, right, Yes, it was just I think

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<v Speaker 1>it was a very standard end of the night. You

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<v Speaker 1>didn't like rub your hands up and down her back. Details.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you're just gonna play a song. We'll come back.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll call Celia for you and try and get you

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<v Speaker 1>a second date. Update all right, thank you? All right,

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<v Speaker 1>hold on that stepping back on the dating scene after

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<v Speaker 1>going through a failed marriage. Wow, that just say it

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<v Speaker 1>like that. I'm just saying things are probably different than

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<v Speaker 1>the first time around. This is not what you tell

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<v Speaker 1>your friends if they ever call you. I'm trying to

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<v Speaker 1>paint the scene like the people are older, the drinks

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<v Speaker 1>hit you harder, and the hugs are standard. Nothing, nothing less.

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<v Speaker 1>No one's smelling anybody's hair. Well, that's what happened with

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<v Speaker 1>one of our listeners, Thomas, who's currently going through a

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<v Speaker 1>separation himself, and so was his date, Celia. So naturally

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<v Speaker 1>they talked a lot about their situations and they were

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<v Speaker 1>very open and vulnerable with each other, which Thomas took

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<v Speaker 1>as a good sign. But now Celia is not responding

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<v Speaker 1>to him, which Thomas is taking as a bad sign.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a good, good way to do it hasn't changed

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<v Speaker 1>in that sense. Yeah, something's never Yeah, but Thomas, how

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<v Speaker 1>you feeling? Man? You guys gave it quite the lead up.

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<v Speaker 1>We can keep that music going the whole time. Help.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know what we never asked you is have

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<v Speaker 1>you tried to get a hold of her? I dreaked

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<v Speaker 1>out to her, yes, but I did not receive any

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<v Speaker 1>communication back. And I mean, I'm calling up you guys

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<v Speaker 1>because I feel like it went well and so I'm

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<v Speaker 1>trying to figure out what I do. Rot. Just brace

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<v Speaker 1>yourself here, because you're new to dating and you may

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<v Speaker 1>hear some things you don't want to hear. That doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>mean that you're good at it. Okay, And as Brooke

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<v Speaker 1>would say, there's a whole city of people to sleep with.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually exactly what I would condone. Yeah, so let's give

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<v Speaker 1>Celia call. We'll see if she answers and what she

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<v Speaker 1>has to say. Let's do here we go. Hello is

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<v Speaker 1>it Celia? Yeah? Sorry, I was really excited there. I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't sure if you're going to answer. Hey, we're We're

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<v Speaker 1>Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning from the radio. Hey. Cool,

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<v Speaker 1>Now she's not answering a second to process. This is

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<v Speaker 1>probably a lot, right, I don't Who is it? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we're so we're a morning radio show. We're called Brooke

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<v Speaker 1>and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're hoping that you'll

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<v Speaker 1>be a part of a segment with us here called

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<v Speaker 1>a second date update. Oh no, thank you, that's okay, No, no, no, no, Celia,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not a bad thing. Yeah, we're actually calling on

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<v Speaker 1>behalf of one of our listeners who you went out

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<v Speaker 1>on a date with a very hot date sounded like

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<v Speaker 1>his name's Thomas. Oh yeah, okay, Oh that didn't Oh

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<v Speaker 1>that didn't sound good Thomas. I think it's clueless because

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<v Speaker 1>that was not a good response about Thomas. I mean, Mike,

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<v Speaker 1>we had a really nice dinner and I was hopeful, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>but we kind of got into a personal conversation about

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<v Speaker 1>our situations, our separations, our marriages and that sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a big ray flag for me that kind

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<v Speaker 1>of popped up. So are you saying just you guys

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<v Speaker 1>discussing the marital situations was a red flag or something

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<v Speaker 1>specifically about the conversation. Yeah, it was more. It was

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<v Speaker 1>more specific. It was like I tell told him, like basically,

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<v Speaker 1>my situation ended because of cheating, and I was the cheater.

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<v Speaker 1>I was unfaithful. Oh oh interesting. So he didn't share

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of your your story at all. He just

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<v Speaker 1>said that there was like that's why your marriage ended.

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<v Speaker 1>He didn't. We just assumed that it was your X.

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<v Speaker 1>But okay, that's fine. That well, for me, the red

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<v Speaker 1>flag was like he acted really weird, like it was

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<v Speaker 1>just normal and he was understanding and like trying to

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<v Speaker 1>make excuses for me. And I'm thinking this guy was

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<v Speaker 1>kind of weak. What what do you mean he was

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<v Speaker 1>making excuses for you, like, oh, well, I guess he

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't paying you attention, or you know, he wanted him

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<v Speaker 1>to be mean to you instead, or you're like the

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<v Speaker 1>first time, it's more like I just laid what I

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<v Speaker 1>had out there on the table and his reaction was

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<v Speaker 1>just a little too normal for me, Like, oh, I

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<v Speaker 1>know him the real like listen, I cheated and he

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<v Speaker 1>was just like, oh, that's okay, okay, Well maybe he

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<v Speaker 1>cheated in his relationship too, I mean, or he's just

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<v Speaker 1>awkward and doesn't know what to say that because he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to insult his date. He liked you, well,

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<v Speaker 1>like what did you want to hear from him? What

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<v Speaker 1>would have been a good response in your mind? I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted him to be disgusted by it, because I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's really horrible what I did. Yeah, that was like inside,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure he felt that way, but he didn't want

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<v Speaker 1>to say to you on a first date if you

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<v Speaker 1>disgust me. Plus, relationships are like really complicated, and you know,

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes it's just saying maybe he's just being an understanding

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<v Speaker 1>person and trying to be empathetic to what you were

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<v Speaker 1>going through. It sounds like maybe you should go out

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<v Speaker 1>little You guys are both understanding, totally understand. Well, if

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<v Speaker 1>you're playing this to satistics, chances are she already has.

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<v Speaker 1>So all I'm saying is like this guy, like he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't attack you for being really vulnerable and really honest,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's probably a hard thing to share with you people.

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<v Speaker 1>I would imagine you're not listening to me. I deserved it.

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<v Speaker 1>Like he didn't even bust anything. Okay, I see what

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<v Speaker 1>you're saying. Like he's siding with the person who cheated

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<v Speaker 1>rather than siding with the person who got cheated off. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>not even questioning it, like, yeah, got you. Maybe maybe

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<v Speaker 1>he could yell at you now, yeah, like because this

0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:36.640
<v Speaker 1>would be a great chance for him to lay into

0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.760
<v Speaker 1>you because he's actually on the other line listening. Absolutely,

0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:42.719
<v Speaker 1>I think I've had enough. No, no, no enough. You

0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.440
<v Speaker 1>understand he's already there listening right now and wants to

0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.400
<v Speaker 1>talk to you. Yeah. Ye, all right. So let me

0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:51.120
<v Speaker 1>get this straight. You wanted me to be like doctor

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:53.840
<v Speaker 1>Phil or Steve Harvey or something. It just lace into you.

0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.720
<v Speaker 1>How does that make sense on a first date? First

0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:59.959
<v Speaker 1>of all, I didn't even though you were on the line. Secondly,

0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.400
<v Speaker 1>I go, did you for a reason? And I really

0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:06.880
<v Speaker 1>don't even want to talk to you? Oh? No, star flying?

0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:10.080
<v Speaker 1>Is this the vibe you got Thomas when you guys

0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:13.640
<v Speaker 1>were out? Nothing like this? This is like Medusa head.

0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't know who this woman is. I'm just being

0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.240
<v Speaker 1>honest with you. I feel like you could have at

0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:22.000
<v Speaker 1>least questioned why I did it? Like I need someone

0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:26.840
<v Speaker 1>to hold me accountable for all Right, you want some criticism?

0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.199
<v Speaker 1>Are got my nails? Dont my nails look good? Yeah?

0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:35.280
<v Speaker 1>Your nails don't look goods does cost a lot? Don't

0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:37.720
<v Speaker 1>suck those? You didn't go there? Did you like my

0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:43.120
<v Speaker 1>nails look amazing? Okay? I think he's just trying to

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.200
<v Speaker 1>give you what you want there, Celia is he's not

0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.800
<v Speaker 1>reading what she wants very well though. I mean I

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:51.440
<v Speaker 1>will give her back. I'm not sure if I'm reading

0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.840
<v Speaker 1>exactly what she wants. It sounds like you want to

0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:57.760
<v Speaker 1>be punished next time. Bring an iron fist to the

0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.520
<v Speaker 1>date and put the hammer down. This is why he

0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.920
<v Speaker 1>should have practiced dating more. Yeah, I have called the

0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:09.640
<v Speaker 1>first person back. A lot of people out till you

0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 1>find your right mar But he could sleep around with

0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:15.200
<v Speaker 1>other people and cheat on Celia and then we could

0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:17.760
<v Speaker 1>send them out on a second date. No, I don't

0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:21.120
<v Speaker 1>think that's what she wants either. Yeah, I mean I

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.480
<v Speaker 1>could ask Celia, would you be interested in that? Would

0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:25.640
<v Speaker 1>you like to go out one more time? I'm good

0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.160
<v Speaker 1>with him. I thought I made that clear. Yeah, you did,

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:32.600
<v Speaker 1>you did. You're very clear. It's just my job to ask. Yeah, okay.

0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if Thomas is upset about that, though. Yeah,

0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:39.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm sat about how this went, especially considering she's out

0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:42.520
<v Speaker 1>of her mind. Oh now you're talking the way that

0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:46.560
<v Speaker 1>she likes. Well, I really appreciate you guys having me on.

0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:49.080
<v Speaker 1>But if I learned anything from this, it don't date

0:14:49.120 --> 0:15:00.200
<v Speaker 1>anyone who says separated in a profile. I guess free

0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.040
<v Speaker 1>in the morning man. People have been saying forever that

0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:06.400
<v Speaker 1>dating today is hard. Yeah. I think it's time after

0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:10.280
<v Speaker 1>that call to start saying dating is impossible. Yeah, because

0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:13.080
<v Speaker 1>even if you're trying to be understanding and see the

0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:16.000
<v Speaker 1>other person's perspective, give them the benefit of the doubt,

0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.720
<v Speaker 1>that scene as a weakness. Yeah, and they don't like

0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.760
<v Speaker 1>you for it. That's why this ended with no date

0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:24.200
<v Speaker 1>at the end. Anybody out there who's single, including myself,

0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:31.520
<v Speaker 1>let's just all give up. That's a winning admah man,

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 1>that's so sad. Okay, I just hate to die alone.

0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 1>It's you will find your love. You don't have to

0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:41.640
<v Speaker 1>base it off this lady. This lady was a little

0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:43.600
<v Speaker 1>out there, and I think what it does say is

0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:45.760
<v Speaker 1>that even if you were the cheater, therese are people

0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:49.520
<v Speaker 1>who will forgive you. Yeah, that really nice. It was

0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.600
<v Speaker 1>too forgiving them, that was the problem. You wouldn't date

0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.800
<v Speaker 1>him either. I could see why she hated you, though

0:15:55.840 --> 0:16:02.480
<v Speaker 1>Brook got sappy. God, but you know, two sides it.

0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.480
<v Speaker 1>But no, look, we do want to help connect you

0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:09.800
<v Speaker 1>if you still do believe in love out there, and

0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.160
<v Speaker 1>if you do, you can always email the show. We'll

0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:13.600
<v Speaker 1>call the person who wasn't calling you back