WEBVTT - Ep88: Disabled Sex 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.440 Hi, everybody, This is Wheezy. Unfortunately Mandy couldn't make it in. 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:06.440 We've had conflicting schedules, but the next two episodes you 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:08.639 here a solo. I wanted to tell you guys about 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:12.080 Zozo Talk in Miami eleven seventeen, I will be there 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:15.520 and on December eighth, I will be in Atlanta. This 0:00:15.560 --> 0:00:18.400 is an amazing show. It is a live dating game 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:20.239 show that I do with Jessie. We had a great 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:22.600 time in New York. It was so much fun. Someone's 0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:29.200 grandma came. Um, don't ask, but anyway, I'm super excited 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:31.360 to bring you guys this episode, so check it out 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:37.519 and enjoy it. Hey everyone, So I'm here and I'm 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:41.160 with two lovely ladies, one that I've never met before 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:45.879 and one that I went down on. So I want 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:48.440 both of you. Um, I'm gonna start from the right. 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:52.360 Can you tell us your name, why you're horrible, and 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:56.360 your sexual orientation. I'm trying some new ship. Okay, okay, okay, 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:01.160 So my name is Aisha, Why I'm horrible? Why are 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:06.200 you here? A bitch? I love sex? I don't know. 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:09.520 There's really no other way to put that. Don't you 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.280 like all? I know, is you have a new business 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:14.440 going surrounding sex? What is that? Uh? So I am 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:18.720 opening a sex positive community hub that will house a 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:22.560 porn cinema in Brooklyn. Basically I want people to get 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:26.920 freaky in my porn cinema. Like is that legal? I 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:29.880 don't really know. I don't think there's like, you know, 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:31.360 it's kind of like the same way as like, are 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.640 you you're like really not supposed to have more than 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:37.720 fifteen people dancing and drinking alcohol anywhere? So like our 0:01:37.760 --> 0:01:41.160 club's legal that kind of thing, and like but unless 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:43.600 like anybody's at my door knocking it down. I mean 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:47.160 you were very Brooklyn bitch. I'll say that I should. 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:50.080 I met on Tinder because we were supposed to have 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.720 a threesome that never happened, but we had sex, and 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.200 that was fucking Why do we only have sex one time? 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:00.240 Is you busy? I know? Actually? You know what's crazy? 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:02.120 I came to see you. You're dating someone? Are you 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:07.200 still dating him? That guy when we went ice skating together? No? 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:10.600 Not no, Well I was so fucking jealous and I 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.880 was like, oh my god, like it's weird. Every time 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:16.000 I see you, I get super like, oh wait, yes, 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:20.000 not ice skating. I am. I am still dating him 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:24.960 him anyway, so we have another if you are I am. 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:28.680 I had posted on Horrible Decisions and on my personal 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:32.120 Instagram looking for new people that are horrible and just interesting, 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:36.400 and Ashley reached out to me and, um, yeah, I'm 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.480 super excited to have you on. Ashley wanted to come 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:41.760 on to talk about having sex wild disabled, So yeah, 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.520 tell us, like how old you are, where you live 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:48.600 with your sexual orientation. So I am from Jacksonville, Florida. 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:57.040 I'm twenty nine. I'll be thirty in December. Uma ohay' 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:02.639 so sash Well, well yeah, I um well, while I'm 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:08.320 my horrible huh well okay. So I always got this 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:13.239 like taboo conversation going on around um sex, particularly from 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:16.760 men that will basically ask me if my vagina works. 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:21.160 So the fact that I kept getting that question, I'm like, 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:25.720 obviously something's not connecting where they really don't think that 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:29.760 I can have sex um and I definitely wanted to 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:31.840 kind of speak to that and just like my personal 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:35.320 experiences too, um of like dating and stuff like that. 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.560 I consider myself from the queer spectrum, So I have 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:43.240 always been attracted to women I have had experiences with women, 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:47.080 but I haven't dated a women relationship wise, you identified 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:56.640 square by pan sexual. Okay, okay. By the way, I 0:03:56.680 --> 0:03:58.920 think my second time me and you were hanging out, 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.920 you were like fleeing to leave because the Muslim ban happened. 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:04.840 You're like, I'm about to go fucking protests and the 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:08.080 guy you were dating was over the ship. I love 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:10.760 you for that. So I'm really excited to have these 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:13.120 two women here to get into this dialogue. So first 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:15.680 kink of the week. Um, if you've never heard horrible 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:17.680 decisions are kink of the week is always a word 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:20.840 of paraphilia and we teach you something new. Normally it's 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:23.080 hard to say, but not this week. This week's kink 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:25.719 is abrasions. And I picked this kink because on a 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:28.719 Patreon episode, my friend James told a story where he 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:31.320 met a trans guy that like lifted his shirt up 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:33.760 at this club and had a bunch of like scratches 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:36.400 all over his chest and body and like to get 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:38.880 cut up Like that was his kink. Have you guys 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:42.200 ever seen someone that was into that or I'm aware 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.120 of it, but no, I've never I've never been with 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.240 anyone or talked to anyone who like, I feel like 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:54.440 that's definitely white people. But you know king, you know Catholic, Like, 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:59.320 what's the thing where they take flogging? Flogging that comes 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.160 from what I feel like, it's like in the same 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:08.320 vain of that. Why does religion revert to everything masculinity? 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:11.680 All of these things in from like the minute you 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.440 are like conceived of, like what's in your household, And 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:18.039 I feel like it creates all these like manifestations, like 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.279 what you think of Jesus When you see like cuts 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:23.119 all over the body, it gets you, turns you on. Well, 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:25.039 I mean maybe for some people he was like the 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:31.760 first naked man that they were seeing. It's very I 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.240 could see that. So don't have anything else to masturbate 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:39.359 to Jesus up there. I don't know every guy that 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:42.040 I want to funk that lives in Brooklyn looks like Jesus. 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:46.840 I mean, you're staying in Brooklyn right now. And by 0:05:46.880 --> 0:05:49.520 the way, I'm so happy actually actually flew up here 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.760 for this. I'm so grateful because I feel like, just 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:56.360 to have this conversation with someone that's in a wheelchair 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:58.200 and talking about sex, you want to know what they 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:01.080 look like. So bad, and we're both sitting across from her. 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:03.560 Actually whispered when you were walking. I was like, she's 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:05.680 pretty right, like I pretty? Oh my god. And I 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:08.880 feel bad to say that, but like that's how it comes. 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.359 I couldn't help it, you know what I mean, because 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:14.839 I think we all in our minds feel so sorry 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.000 when we hear about that. But it's just like you 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:25.800 clearly could get fucked, like but it happens several times. 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:27.800 So for Vanilla Ship, I feel like it was very 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:31.520 un brand. I started researching things with disabilities and sex 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.160 and I found a Vice article that was titled I 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.000 Give disabled People Orgasms for a living, and it was 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:40.360 about sex surrogates. Have you heard of this? So I 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:42.920 did a little recap. Okay, it's a company called Sensual 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:48.080 Solutions and they're basically intimacy coaches that help people with disabilities, 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:51.720 not like escorting or anything. It's more like kissing and touching. 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:56.320 And because people with disabilities get horny and thousands of people, 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.400 you know, want to feel human and worthy, and just 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:01.200 that intimacy of touching and connecting with someone, I think 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:04.880 might be really hard because other people are scared. What 0:07:04.920 --> 0:07:06.520 do we what would you call someone that is not 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:08.520 what do we say? I don't want to use the 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:13.000 word normal, Yeah, I don't. I don't know the term 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:16.559 to al would use either. Always say um able body, 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:21.320 able body, okay, perfect, I like that. UM. But yeah, basically, 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.920 these people, UM go in so right there trying to 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:27.840 figure out where the orogenous zones are on that disabled person, 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.080 and if it just so happens that they're paralyzed from 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:32.520 the waist down and they can't feel anything, they try 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.920 to remap the brain with a new pleasure center. UM, 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:38.440 and just kind of help that person access their body 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:40.840 and what's going to feel good for them. Um. One 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:43.280 of the men that was I think he had cerebral posy. 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:49.400 Is it cerebral or cerebral? Okay? You know one of 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.480 the guys on there said that, you know, he feels 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:53.240 like he has to be very vulnerable. I have to 0:07:53.360 --> 0:07:55.760 certain have a certain level of vulnerability to let someone 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:58.480 have sex with you, opposed to able bodied people. UM. 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:01.600 And then there was another company I've that basically volunteered 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:05.400 to help people whose hands are nonfunctioning or too many 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:08.080 spasms or something like that to help them masturbate. And 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.120 we were having the conversation me and Aisha in the 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:14.280 lobby about whether or not we could do it. I 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:19.760 feel like I couldn't because I'd be so nervous. I 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:22.920 don't know if I I think it was the question 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:28.560 about volunteering because I don't free. Yeah, yes, but like 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.959 could you for the greater good? Like, there's so many 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:35.240 things I would do to volunteer, but I don't know 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.160 if I could do that. I think, above a lot 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:40.080 of things, this is probably one I would do. Like 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:42.000 I don't want I don't mean to sound like a 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:44.240 ship head, and I'm not really interested in like feeding 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:47.080 the homeless. That's probably really shitty of me to say, 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:57.280 but like I but like I could, I could. Sex 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:59.600 is a big part. Last time, a girl that came 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:01.959 on our show that I had sex with, she said 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:04.440 this comment of like how she only likes fucking girls 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:06.839 that are black and mixed with something. Now, the next 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:10.320 girl that I find doesn't want to me homeless? What's 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:14.880 not everybody's thing is everybody's thing. I respect that I 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:19.240 get you, you the jerk off, someone who can't use 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:23.800 their hands or momotor skills basically, then feed the homeless. Then, yeah, 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.760 everybody's serving the homeless food. We don't need more people 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.600 serving the homeless food. We need more hand jobs, more 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:34.200 hand I can give homeless people hand jobs. Maybe that's 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:38.520 something Actually, what about you? Did you do it? Especially 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:41.640 being that you can, Maybe it's something that I have 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:45.480 thought about because I feel like for me growing up, 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:47.880 let me just get like a little background of like 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.800 my my situations. Yeah, I guess we'll jump into the 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:54.760 decisions just when you understand, like how I didn't have 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:59.840 any education whatsoever as far as sex being disabled, so 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.280 to kind of figure that shoot out on my own. Um, 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:06.160 I had a surgery for scoliosis when I was eleven, 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:11.040 and the thank you, Yeah, so you were not born 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:14.640 no using a wheelchurch about anything? Okay, Yeah, So I 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:18.280 had surgery when I was eleven. Um, and the surgeon 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:20.600 is pinched nerve in my spinal cord and it caused 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:26.760 paralysis from my breastline down. So yeah, So from the 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:30.240 time that I was eleven, i'll say three to four months, 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:33.120 I was in the hospital rehab learning how to do 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:37.319 everything all over again. And because I was eleven, I 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:39.160 don't even know if they do this for adults, but 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:45.400 they don't talk about sex with you or like you know, China, like, no, nothing. 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.240 The only thing that I remember them actually doing for 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:51.160 me was shaving my legs because that's something that I 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:53.679 did before, Like I wanted to shave my legs on 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.439 very bitch, so I'd like to shave my legs. I 0:10:56.760 --> 0:11:00.920 like to shave. But as far as like anything else, 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:06.800 like like your pubic area you're under arms, you pretty 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.040 much try to do that on your own. It was 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:12.400 pinched right, pinch nerve. So what do you feel now? 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.440 Where do you start feeling sensation? It's weird. So I 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.280 my breast line down, I'm split directly down the middle, 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.480 so I have more filling on my left side than 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:24.800 I do my right side. Wow. Yeah, And I mean 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:28.200 when I say directly down the middle, my clip everything 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:33.080 like it's shut yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, literally one side 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:36.280 of your clip. Yes, I don't mean a smile. No, No, 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:40.240 I'm like no, it's kind of assumed. And I think 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:41.720 we all kind of assume, like if you don't feel 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:45.000 like you just don't you just don't feel like I 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:46.600 guess that. I mean, it makes sense to me that's 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:49.160 actually not how the brain works, like how everything's wired. Yeah, 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:51.439 you go, and that's literally what it is. It's like 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:54.320 when you have a pinch nerve, your your brain is 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:58.560 not able to kind of like function on which area 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:02.640 needs to work more than other. So the way my 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.560 body ended up reacting to the prosses is that I 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:07.920 am stronger on my right side than I am my 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:10.160 left side, but I feel more on my left side 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:11.880 than I do my right stronger like as far as 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:13.720 the things that you can do, like picking things up. 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.240 So another thing too is that they never they told 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:18.559 me I would never be able to walk again. I 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:21.800 would never have any feeling I was completely paralyzed. So 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:24.000 about three months after I got out of the hospital, 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:28.240 I was able to wiggle my big toe. So from 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.600 there it went from me wiggle with my big toe 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:35.800 to taking steps. And now I have limited mobility. As 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:39.000 long as I'm holding onto something, I can walk, but 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:40.920 I still need to, you know, use a chair to 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:45.720 get around um comfortably. Um. But yeah, like they told 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:48.200 me and Dad would never happen. The doctor's still to this. 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:50.640 They don't know how I'm able to do what I'm 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:54.480 able to do, but it's happening. So it's crazy because 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:57.120 like just walking into the studio, Never before have I 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:00.720 ever looked for a ramp. Yeah, and I I looked 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:02.440 at it and then I know there were stairs coming 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.200 up to the studio like just you know as far 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:09.320 like a few. And I was like, okay, so you 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:11.360 know what, it made me nervous? So you were able 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:13.480 to get up those stairs because yeah, well yeah, they 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:16.000 were able to help me. So that's another thing that 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.160 a lot of people think, like if you don't have 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:22.040 a ramp or adaptive you know, services for people with 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:24.520 disabilities that you know, that's an in all be all, 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:26.240 like there's no way that you're going to get help, 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:28.720 but not just not attend. People are going to help 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.720 you if they see that you need help or if 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.600 you go and ask them, like if they turn you away, 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:39.160 they're just assholes. That happened. Um not particularly like they 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.440 will play dumb like they don't know like that I 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:45.560 need help, but I have to like go that extra 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:49.760 mile to actually ask for help. I'm that I could 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:53.800 not imagine having to be dependent on people I don't know. Yeah, scary, Yeah, 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:57.240 that is really scary with ubers, like they always do 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:01.280 to uber extra large, Like I don't like the Yeah, 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:03.800 and I told them like as soon as they connect 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.160 with me. I messaged him and say, hey, I'll be 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:09.199 out on this tidewalk. I'm using a chair. I will 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:11.679 show you how to break everything down. It'll be easy 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:14.600 peasy because nine times and I was in especially here 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.400 they see that you use a wheelchair there, Yeah, they'll 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.480 cancel it. That ship should be illegal. It should be. 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:29.600 But they do have um a wheelchair accessible like like 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:35.000 off service from Yeah, but that's gonna take about twenty 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:37.000 minutes for that to get to you. So I'm gonna 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.720 get this uber eggs. My chair breaks down? How does 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.520 it take literally two seconds? Like it doesn't take long 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:45.640 at all, just like well mine mine is a little 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:48.280 bit different because okay, so you have like I wanted 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:50.120 to ask to do you have like a good chair, 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:52.320 like this's a popping chair. This is I just got this. 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.040 I just got this ship. So this is my my 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:58.000 every day like you know, getting around chair or whatever. 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:01.920 But I want a mod A five my little chair 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:07.440 almost some rams like not no spinners, but I want 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.480 I want something like you know, yeah, like I don't 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:13.640 want like these are stands exactly. It's like it's gonna 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:17.120 get me companies that do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:25.080 definitely companies. So back to your tips. Yeah, I made 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:27.560 a whole mental note of the lift. Remember it's the 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:31.800 breast line down so I can feel up until this point, 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:41.600 So nipples are half split this way. Yeah, I'm like 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:45.480 now like trying to figure out in my head. Yeah yeah, 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:49.680 I just really so, I'm like down here, so it 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.200 starts from my prost it starts here. So did the 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:57.280 tattoo hurt up here? Yeah? Yeah, that ship hurt. I 0:15:57.320 --> 0:16:00.280 feel like my chest was being like cut open like 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:06.080 that Rihanna styles chat. Yeah, like it goes down. Um, 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.400 you mentioned your clip things like that. Do you communicate 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:11.920 these things to your partner? Like, what do you do 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.400 to make sure that someone's pleasing you? I'm sure they do. 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:19.000 They feel like they would ask, they don't. I mean, 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:22.160 I think it's well, that's the thing is is that 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:25.240 they look at me and they see that I don't 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:29.480 fit the textbook, you know, version of what someone in 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.760 the chair looks like. So I hate to say that 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:35.360 you don't. I know, I know, I think you might 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:39.640 be the best looking person my good I must say 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:45.520 that now I'm the bag. But I think we can 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:50.920 all agree like yeah, because for example, you know what 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.880 this is super offensive? I don't care. Okay. I feel 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:56.560 like when you see people right or like people may 0:16:56.600 --> 0:17:00.680 comments like oh she's hot for this, you like right 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:03.560 and thank you about to say it, but then I 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.760 was like, I don't know if I'm being so I 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:07.800 wasn't going to say it, but like there's no yeah, 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:12.280 no to be like a safe space today. No, And 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:14.600 that's okay, I said. I I want you to like 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.600 like asked the questions because you're not asking anything that 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.360 anyone else hasn't already asked. Are you insulted when dudes 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:24.359 be like you're hot for the wheel? There, it's not 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:27.640 the that's the first thing you say to me, then yes, 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.800 if you don't ask, like approach me in a way 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:33.840 that's like, hey, how are you doing? You know, to 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:38.000 introduce yourself first, and then let's delve into that. I 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.240 go to bars a lot. Well, I'm gonna say a 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:47.639 lot of mean I go to bars basically, oh it's been, 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:53.240 it's been. But I got to bars and their their 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:58.160 approach is very different because they are probably drunk, so 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:01.320 they see what they want, but they don't know how 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:03.960 to kind of like gauge at So are you always 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.840 in your chair at okay, because I don't know if 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:10.360 I don't like the funk. No, when I go out, 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:12.919 you you what you see is what you get. So 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:16.119 I actually had an inexperience with this one guy where 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:20.640 I've gotten into spects with people over this. But they 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:25.000 will come up to me and either touch my chair 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:28.919 or um ask me about like how long have I 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:33.160 had it? And I'm like, what do you mean question? 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:37.600 That's a yeah, I think, yeah, I feel like that's 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:40.359 a it's a real question because first of all, I'm 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:44.000 at a bar. So if you're asking me, um, why 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.600 I'm in a wheelchair, you're asking me to delve into 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.440 something that what happened to my body? Yeah? What happened 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.399 to my body? I only want to ask is that rude? 0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:56.600 Because I feel like I was thinking that that gets deeper, 0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:58.280 like what happened to your body? But I feel like 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.680 some people may not really like that. They yeah, they don't. 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:07.159 And when you're drinking too, you really don't think of it. Basically, 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:09.399 people are like dumb and they don't know to just 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:11.800 to be like, oh you're an like you're just a human. Yeah, 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:16.200 Like I mean, men are dumb always right, They wheelchair 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:20.440 are not they're asking question. It is what it is. 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:24.960 But with did give back to your question? Um, I 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:28.720 typically do not explain to them like in detail, like 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:32.359 where I can feel versus where I can't feel? Um, 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:38.720 why not? Well, because I know my body so for me, 0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:44.159 internally it's kind of similar to where I feel more 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:49.560 on my love side and inside it's it's kind of similar. 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:54.760 So if I can feel you, then I I feel 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:59.160 like that's that's fine for me. But even with able 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:02.600 probably like person is having sex, you're gonna have a 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:07.399 hard time having an orgasm. Or I'm thinking, yeah, I 0:20:07.520 --> 0:20:10.640 know for a fact, dude can't make me cups. Sometimes 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:13.960 it's okay, it's like maybe it's hard whatever, but for 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:18.600 you almost imagine like freaking. So I would, honestly you 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:20.440 telling me this right, if I was just gonna sleep 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.000 with you, I would feel a little nervous because I 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:25.919 would want to make sure that you're pleased you're telling me. 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:31.480 People are sincerely not asking Guys don't because they look 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:35.000 at me as an able body person that just uses 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:39.199 a chair. They're not thinking about the fact that I 0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:41.560 have a paralysis. Now, see, we need to do we 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:45.280 need to get into because my main goal show is 0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:50.440 to obviously de stigmatize stereotypes and make you calm. Can 0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:52.600 you make me a promise? Yes, I want you to 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:54.840 text me after it happens. The next person you fuck, 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:57.680 you tell them where what's going to turn you on 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:00.480 and where they're going to get you off. You've got 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:03.560 to do that. Yeah, we all have to do that. Yeah, 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:06.800 it's It's definitely something that I've been like really getting 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:09.720 to the point where it's if it's just a hookup 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:12.520 type thing, like you know, one nice thing or whatever, 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:16.520 then it is what it is. But I don't feel 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:19.960 like you're maybe not saying it because you're where you're 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:22.320 you're where you're going to scare them or make them 0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:25.880 worry of us. N They just don't. They don't. They 0:21:25.920 --> 0:21:31.280 don't think about my pleasure, so to speak. I think 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:34.680 with the some of the men that I have been with, 0:21:35.480 --> 0:21:37.960 I do think that they are very much attracted to 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:41.480 the idea of me and like my body, my like 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:45.679 because you're curvous, thank you, but they're they're attracted to 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:50.120 that um but they don't go that extra mount into 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.200 trying to please someone. They are basically using my body 0:21:53.240 --> 0:22:00.080 to mascerbrate. What about women? So with the women, So 0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:03.000 I haven't actually been with a woman as an adult, 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:08.920 so this was like, yea, yeah, I was the youngest. Um, 0:22:08.920 --> 0:22:11.640 so I haven't actually experienced that either. I'm sure if 0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:14.280 I did, like that would be a no brainer. Like 0:22:14.320 --> 0:22:18.679 I think we're just more sensitive, yeah, like just a 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:21.439 little bit more. But I mean, I don't know, I 0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:25.600 can't really communicate. We communicate better with each other versus 0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:28.840 men and women. Community. Have you ever felt like someone 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:31.520 wanted to fund you because you use a chair? Oh? Yeah? 0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:36.680 Those are called devotees. What devotees? Yeah, so they are 0:22:37.320 --> 0:22:43.880 people that are attracted to disabilities. Yes, yea, I think Okay, 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:47.600 maybe we haven't, but I feel like maybe we probably. Okay, 0:22:47.640 --> 0:22:53.000 so devotees, they they they are very peculiar people. So 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:55.239 I'm I'm one of like dating apps and stuff like that, 0:22:55.359 --> 0:22:58.399 which one Oh god, well okay, so I've been on Tender, 0:22:58.480 --> 0:23:02.360 I've been on okay, Cupid. Um, I'm currently on Hinge 0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:07.439 and Bumble. It's one better for you? Yeah, so yeah Bumble, 0:23:07.520 --> 0:23:10.360 I feel like you you kind of get your cake 0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:13.600 and eat too a little bit. Because they're they're more 0:23:13.640 --> 0:23:16.320 attractive guys on there that you will match with and 0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:20.919 actually they will communicate with you, versus with Hinge. You 0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:23.159