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Speaker 1: In you know way. Hey, hey, you see me? Why

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Speaker 1: we're back. We're black, We're blo blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Buh see this is why brawn ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's stressful. I don't know what to say.

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Speaker 3: There's every time the key is different lyrics and I'm

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Speaker 3: not supposed to go on so I don't even know.

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm finding my way, finding for my lane

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Speaker 1: since twenty fifteen. Okay, so let's kick off the show.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna do a little bit of chat. I know.

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Speaker 3: The theme for this evening is what are we calling

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Speaker 3: the Great Pivot? The Great Pivot, Great Pivot. I'm so

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Speaker 3: afraid to move that I will be holding the book

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Speaker 3: in this awkward physician. We're going to talk about professional pivots,

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Speaker 3: career pivots, financial pivots. We're gonna get y'all a chance

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Speaker 3: to answer someone, to ask some questions if you would

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Speaker 3: like to. And then we're going to get into our

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Speaker 3: game show element of the night because I love it,

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Speaker 3: and we're gonna find out how well Tiffany and I

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Speaker 3: know each other, so.

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Speaker 1: We have a good memory. Anybody who knows me knows.

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Speaker 1: She's already apologized. I know nothing about it, y'all, Like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm like so nice to meet you, Like,

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Speaker 1: I know you got so.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be great. But I do want to say

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Speaker 3: I mean to Tiffany, like, I mean, I haven't seen you.

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Speaker 3: We were trying to figure out the last time I

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Speaker 3: saw it. We saw each other in person, and it

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Speaker 3: was before I had my second baby.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 3: It was at my baby shower picnic thing, which is

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Speaker 3: bizarre because obviously we talked to her every single week.

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Speaker 1: Yes we do.

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Speaker 3: But it's really special to be here with you to

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Speaker 3: celebrate thanks for bringing it to Newer and the elephant

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Speaker 3: in the room I guess is that this is not

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Speaker 3: just our ninth year. It's also going to be Tiffany's

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Speaker 3: last year.

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Speaker 1: With the show. But it's just without me. But Hi,

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Speaker 1: Mandy's got a rock. I told her she's just fine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if I ever can unclench my hand from this mic,

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Speaker 3: we'll do a show.

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Speaker 1: At this particular angle.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, I think our origin story is

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Speaker 3: something that y'all know already. But yeah, over it was

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Speaker 3: well over a decade ago we met each other, and

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Speaker 3: for you to say yes to doing the podcast and

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Speaker 3: for dedicating.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we didn't even make money for like five years, right,

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Speaker 1: so I go a podcast. But Mandy asked me if

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Speaker 1: I wanted to do a podcast. I was like, yeah, wait,

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Speaker 1: what's a podcast? Because this thing.

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Speaker 3: Really yeah, there really wasn't and we just made it

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Speaker 3: what it is today with y'all support. I mean from

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Speaker 3: the very very beginning, it is so hard to build

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Speaker 3: a podcast audience. It really truly is, and we really

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Speaker 3: were starting from scratch. So just to even be here,

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Speaker 3: I know, we have some fans from Georgia, my hometown,

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Speaker 3: my home state, got some fan in the house, and

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Speaker 3: but I think the winner has to be homegirl from Japan.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, talk about ocean.

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Speaker 3: But Tiffany bts army. Okay, let's get into it. So

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Speaker 3: with Brown Ambition, it being nine years, we're also I

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Speaker 3: don't know, going toward the end of the year. So, Tiffany,

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Speaker 3: one of the things that in the themes of our

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Speaker 3: show recently has been big changes obviously with you starting

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Speaker 3: a new chapter post Brown Ambition, and I just feel

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Speaker 3: like the way that you characterized it the great pivot.

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Speaker 3: So I don't know, anytime you call something the great,

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Speaker 3: it just feels right. But what does that mean? Inform us,

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Speaker 3: educate us, and then let's talk about it. Well, pivoting

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Speaker 3: is a critical component of growth.

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Speaker 1: We all know, right, you know, think about like when

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Speaker 1: you're in your twenties, maybe you decided this is what

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get my degree in and then that's

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Speaker 1: not what you're doing. Now. How many people is that

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Speaker 1: the you know, the life for them or you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe there's a pivot to have children, a pivot to partner,

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Speaker 1: a pivot to unpartner. Some of you are like, that's next.

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Speaker 1: They don't know yet, right, But pivoted is critical. But

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Speaker 1: ideally you want to pivot on purpose. You know that

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Speaker 1: you want to be as much as you can some

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Speaker 1: things life, you know, life throws us things, but you

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Speaker 1: want to you know, you want to make the choice

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Speaker 1: to pivot. And I called it. I like to call

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Speaker 1: that pre pivoting versus waiting until your back's against the

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Speaker 1: wall and then you kind of make unforced errors like

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Speaker 1: a forced pivot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's pivots in life that are not our choice,

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Speaker 3: which are so like getting let go being the person

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Speaker 3: who didn't know that you were going to get divorced.

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Speaker 1: Just other part of that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and they are the beginning of incredible stories. But

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Speaker 3: there's so much empowerment and at least preparing, like for

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Speaker 3: the pivot. So when you think about preparing for a

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Speaker 3: career pivot with yourself, Tiffany, like, what are you actually doing?

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Speaker 3: Are you telling people? Are you superstitious? Do you like

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Speaker 3: keep it close to your chest when you got big

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Speaker 3: plans or do you like to tell it? Some people

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Speaker 3: feel like they can't share it because it hasn't happened yet,

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Speaker 3: and they're afraid if I say it out loud. Is

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Speaker 3: anybody you say it out loud, it may not happen.

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Speaker 1: No, I mean anybody who knows me knows I'm a

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Speaker 1: blah blah man. I'll be our live like and then

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Speaker 1: oh wait, I signed an nda y uh rewind no

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Speaker 1: because I am an out loud processor and I recognize

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Speaker 1: that about myself. So the way I process change is

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Speaker 1: to talk about it. So I have like a group

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Speaker 1: of people. So I'll call Mandy, I'll call Rihanna, I'll

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Speaker 1: call my sister, I'll call Cabre, I'll call so because

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Speaker 1: I'm processing like my thoughts and my feelings out loud.

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Speaker 1: Before then I kind of like suck them all in

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Speaker 1: and then make the decision. So for me, you don't know,

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Speaker 1: I just feel like it's not even anything in particular

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Speaker 1: when it comes to professionally that I'm wanting to do more.

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Speaker 1: So the shift for me is to decenter budget, needs

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Speaker 1: to and recenter Tiffany. I think that's the pivot where

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Speaker 1: I am now because there are moments when you know

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Speaker 1: it is career in business and you know there's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with that, and then there are moments when you

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Speaker 1: can kind of get lost in it. And for the

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Speaker 1: longest time, somebody would ask me how I was and

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Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, this is doing good and it's

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Speaker 1: like how are you. I'm like who oh, Tiffany, or

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Speaker 1: like what do you like to do in your free time?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what's free time? We don't know her, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, honestly, there are times, especially when you're

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Speaker 1: in building stage, where that's what it looks like. But

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Speaker 1: I've learned that you have to align and adjust, you know,

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Speaker 1: or you can get stuck in a place. That's why

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Speaker 1: the pivot is so important to kind of take stock

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Speaker 1: and say, Okay, where am I heading and does this

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Speaker 1: path serve me, and if not, what pivot do I

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Speaker 1: need to make?

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Speaker 3: And also it's like, and I believe if you had

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Speaker 3: like a concrete on the day after, you know, January first,

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty five, when I am no longer beholden to

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Speaker 3: the podcast or Mandy like I'm going to start this,

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Speaker 3: But you're also leaving space right for something new to

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Speaker 3: come in.

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Speaker 1: It's like creating.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes you don't know what's going to come next, but

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Speaker 3: creating the space for it makes it more possible than

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Speaker 3: something can happen to you. Yes, imagine who you could

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Speaker 3: run into on the street at one pm on Mondays

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Speaker 3: when you're not recording our shit.

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Speaker 1: You mean, when I'm taking an ass everybody knows between

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Speaker 1: one and three I'm likely to be laying.

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Speaker 3: Do you know what we're gonna pre tape? I got

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Speaker 3: all kinds of plank of oh, I can't be put

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Speaker 3: around too much. But no, I mean for me as

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Speaker 3: the it feels a little bit y'all know. I don't

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Speaker 3: know if you've listened to that episode where we talk

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Speaker 3: about Tiffany leaving, but it was really really hard for

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Speaker 3: me to sit there and have that and we held

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Speaker 3: it for like two weeks, I was like, I'm not ready,

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Speaker 3: and I think it just it feels extremely vulnerable just

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Speaker 3: because we're so close and it and I truly don't

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Speaker 3: It is so mixed emotions. It is like deep sadness,

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Speaker 3: a little bit of fear, a little bit of doubt.

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Speaker 3: But on the other hand, it's like as time now,

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Speaker 3: I've had two months to process it, and I think

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Speaker 3: what I've come into is like.

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Speaker 1: This is also.

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Speaker 3: Maybe a forced pivot for me, but in an exciting way.

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Speaker 3: It's like it just reinforced for me how brown ambition

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Speaker 3: is something that I still like, believe in and care

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Speaker 3: about so much, and I want to take it, you know,

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Speaker 3: as far as it can possibly go. And this almost

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Speaker 3: like shakes me up and makes me, you know, come

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Speaker 3: up with a strategy, come up with a plan, start

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Speaker 3: envisioning what it can look like when it's a little

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Speaker 3: bit different, which is exciting. I think when you're in

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Speaker 3: a position like that, it's a gift. I get to

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Speaker 3: decide what I'm doing with this podcast. I'm gonna own.

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Speaker 1: And the thing is, I don't think people realize that

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Speaker 1: when you pivot, it's not just about you, because if

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Speaker 1: I didn't, because you have the whisper like it's time

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Speaker 1: to move on. I remember when I taught preschool for

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Speaker 1: a number of years and I loved it, just like

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Speaker 1: brown ambition that I kind of got the whisper it's

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Speaker 1: time to move on. I was like, what, No, I

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Speaker 1: love teaching the kids. I'm not leaving. And then the

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Speaker 1: next year got harder. I'm like, wait, these kids never

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Speaker 1: acted up like this before. And then the next year

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Speaker 1: you get a bier. You're like, what you know? And

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Speaker 1: then you know? And then it then literally my school

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Speaker 1: shut down, and I realized, like, oh, whether you move

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Speaker 1: or not, it's gonna move you. And so you can

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Speaker 1: listen or be forced. The thing that I really learned

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Speaker 1: is that me making this choice, if I didn't make it,

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Speaker 1: it's not just me that's affected. It's Mandy too, because

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Speaker 1: I honestly believe I was holding her back things that

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Speaker 1: Mandy wants to do. Look at her, Let me take

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Speaker 1: my flowers, Let me take my flowers back. Right, So

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Speaker 1: there's some things that Mandy wants to do that I

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Speaker 1: don't have the time, you know, So me making the

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Speaker 1: choice that I know is the right choice to make,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's not just my prayers it's likely Mandy,

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Speaker 1: you now too. Yeah, so it's just learning that like

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Speaker 1: pivoting doesn't hurt. I mean, I get it. Sometimes it

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Speaker 1: feels hurtful, you know, but you hope that you have

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Speaker 1: a good enough relationship with the people in your life

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Speaker 1: that you know you said the best thing I Mandy

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Speaker 1: and I talked. I was scared to tell her. Not

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Speaker 1: scared because I thought she was gonna be mad, because

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Speaker 1: I just thought, like, oh man, it's been nine years,

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Speaker 1: this is my friend. I don't want her to to

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Speaker 1: be like, I don't know, I just was. I didn't

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Speaker 1: want you to feel like I was leaving you. Oh

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Speaker 1: I did.

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Speaker 3: I know, you know, I can't like sometimes the decisions

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Speaker 3: you make like they're gonna make another person feel uncomfortable,

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Speaker 3: And I think that's like, that's just what it is.

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Speaker 3: Like I've told so many people like that I've mentored

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Speaker 3: or mentored without there even asking me. Just like you're

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Speaker 3: gonna have to piss people off on your way to

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Speaker 3: whatever you're gonna be.

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Speaker 1: Not that I'm.

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Speaker 3: Pissed, but like you're gonna Yeah, it's gonna create complicated

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Speaker 3: feelings for me to figure out. But I'm so glad

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Speaker 3: that you trusted me to have them, and like the

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Speaker 3: worst thing ever would be to find out that you

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Speaker 3: were staying, because oh, I don't want Mandy to be

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Speaker 3: like outraged and you know, what is she gonna do

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Speaker 3: and like, well she seek revenge or whatever. Like we

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Speaker 3: have so much trust and honestly, I think I'll see

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Speaker 3: more of you now.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm excited for the next chapter. Like

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Speaker 1: I told Mandy, I said, I stayed a brad a

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Speaker 1: bitch and forth long because I did for her and

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Speaker 1: I left for me. I'm trying to receive that. It's

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Speaker 1: really hard. Yeah, I did.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 1: I stayed because I was like, this is my friend.

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Speaker 1: I'm having so much fun and you know, I'm knowing

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Speaker 1: this is what she's wanting. But you know, and especially

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Speaker 1: after my husband passed away, I didn't want to do anything.

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Speaker 1: This is one of the few things I came back to.

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Speaker 1: And if Mandy wasn't doing the brand A mission, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have done it, y'all. It wouldn't have been no

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Speaker 1: goodbye episode, just click click click, you're on your own.

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Speaker 1: But I was like, I'm coming back because Mandy's here.

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Speaker 1: She was such a good friend during that time and

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Speaker 1: I realized I can't continue to stay just for Mandy

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Speaker 1: and that if I'm here because Mandy's my friend, she's

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Speaker 1: my friend either way, you know what I mean. And

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Speaker 1: that's what you said. Like when I told you you

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Speaker 1: were like, first of all, I felt so bad because

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Speaker 1: you were like with your son blowing up balloons at

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Speaker 1: a birthday party. I was like, I am visit. I hear,

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Speaker 1: hey you, what's up? I'm like, and then my son said,

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Speaker 1: are you okay?

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Speaker 4: Mommy?

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I said, I feel

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Speaker 1: like this is not a good time. I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: never been broken up with that's so bad. And you like,

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Speaker 1: I'll talk to you later, but then you feel My

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Speaker 1: body language was like, I know, but you text me

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Speaker 1: the text she said. You know, Tippy, you know I

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Speaker 1: love you. I want what's best for you. And if

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Speaker 1: this is I'm what did you say? You said? I

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Speaker 1: almost I'm sad, but that's okay, you know, like you're

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Speaker 1: allowed to be sad, you know. And I told her, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm sad too. Yeah. Can we change as something? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Because we're here now, right, let's talk about all the pivots.

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Speaker 1: Still got her? Got her okay?

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Speaker 3: So I want well, I have. I don't know about pivoting,

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Speaker 3: but I want to. I want to ask you something

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Speaker 3: as a business owner, because I have known you since

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Speaker 3: before you is there even probably was a business There

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Speaker 3: was a blog, you know, and you interviewed I interviewed

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Speaker 3: you and yes, business insider.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, put her on the mat she did. She was

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Speaker 1: literally my first professional dress, first professional interview. Oh that's wild.

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Speaker 3: But anyway, and you've been through so much any chapters

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Speaker 3: as a business owner, and now you're pulling back. So

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Speaker 3: I kind of want you to paint a picture of

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Speaker 3: how your business has changed. And you had several right,

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Speaker 3: you had Live Richer Academy, you have obviously the budget

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Speaker 3: Nista was there. A third one was a market the

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Speaker 3: marketing thing I am, But what does that look like

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Speaker 3: for you now? And what do you want? What I

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Speaker 3: love about our show is how transparent we are about

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Speaker 3: the real reel of what's happening. What do you want

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Speaker 3: to say to like younger entrepreneurs or just entrepreneurs who

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Speaker 3: are starting businesses or have had them for a while,

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Speaker 3: about like the realness of making those kinds of shifts

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Speaker 3: and how maybe it's not so it's not all like

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Speaker 3: magical and taking naps between.

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Speaker 1: Before because I'm up till three, so I need to

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Speaker 1: take a nap bath three. Yeah, well I'll say. And

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Speaker 1: there was a woman here, Oh, what's your name? Is

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Speaker 1: the Burgundy? Diane? No? No, So Diana and I were chatting

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Speaker 1: because I was sharing that like, well, one, I don't

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Speaker 1: care who you are. In business, it's never easy. Like

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Speaker 1: anyone who's pretending like it's easy is lying because the

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Speaker 1: way it goes, and it took me a while to realize,

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Speaker 1: is then you reach a certain level and then you

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Speaker 1: feel a little bit stuck and you're not growing. And

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Speaker 1: what you realize is that you have to almost become

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Speaker 1: Like what happens when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly.

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Speaker 1: One of my friends Bozma, she was like, do you

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Speaker 1: know what actually happens when a caterpillar goes inside the crysalist?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't know. It grows wings. I

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Speaker 1: know a lot about butterflies actually, and it actually liquifies, yes, itself.

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Speaker 1: It liquifies itself and basically almost eats itself down to

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Speaker 1: about thirty percent and from that the butterfly is born.

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Speaker 1: And so what I realize is that. Let's just say,

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Speaker 1: if we're just talking straight money, that to go from

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Speaker 1: five figures to six figures in business annually, I had

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Speaker 1: to liquefy myself and almost it feels like dying because

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Speaker 1: you're like, I'm feeling at everything, but you're not. You've

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Speaker 1: just reached as far as those wings can take you.

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Speaker 1: And then you have to be born into the sixth

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Speaker 1: figure person. And so that shift is just mindset right.

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Speaker 1: So to me, five figures of six figures, it's mindset

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Speaker 1: of like I can do it, and sometimes it's just

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Speaker 1: knowing someone else as making six figures. There was a

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Speaker 1: man who the first man who ran the eight minute mile,

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Speaker 1: Like nobody had ran a mile under eight minutes, and

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Speaker 1: it was like this farmer who were like rubber boots

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Speaker 1: who ran the first eight minute mile, and once he did,

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Speaker 1: after that, people started breaking that record like crazy, because

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Speaker 1: people just have to know it's possible. And then to

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Speaker 1: go from six figures to seven figures six figures, to

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Speaker 1: me was the hardest because that mindset shift was like

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Speaker 1: I didn't know anybody who was like I was living

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Speaker 1: in a room that costs five hundred bucks a month,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, I just came home, some of y'all

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Speaker 1: went over that. Well, we adure, so you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about, right, So, but six figures is seven figures.

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Speaker 1: The shift Diana and I were talking about that, the

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Speaker 1: rebirth there was. I remember I was at six figures

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Speaker 1: for a while. I'm like, I did the math. I said,

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Speaker 1: seven figures is about like eighty something thousand dollars a month.

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Speaker 1: That seems impossible, and I realized you can muscle your

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Speaker 1: way to six figures, meaning that you can work really hard,

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Speaker 1: wake up late, you know, or wake up early, go

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Speaker 1: to bed late. But seven figures requires help. So typically

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Speaker 1: to get the seven figures, you're gonna have some sort

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Speaker 1: of team. And it took me a while to learn that.

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Speaker 1: So I had to be reborn again as to somebody

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Speaker 1: who had a team. And I'd never really done that before.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I taught preschool and certainly I had like

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Speaker 1: co teachers and stuff, but I never led anyone in

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Speaker 1: a team, so that was really hard. I started with

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Speaker 1: interns and then I started with like part time people,

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Speaker 1: and I had to learn to lead. And once I

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Speaker 1: got better at it, then we got to seven and

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Speaker 1: then from seven to eight, you know, it was like,

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Speaker 1: it's it. That was hard too, not as hard because

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Speaker 1: you collect all these lessons along the way, and seven

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Speaker 1: to eight the rebirth there was. I had to learn

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Speaker 1: to scale in a way where like I had to

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Speaker 1: trust people because I was still was very hands on.

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Speaker 1: I had to try people to do like to do

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Speaker 1: what they did best, you know, like, hey, you know

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Speaker 1: she's the CFO, she knows best. This person is going

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Speaker 1: to like run my online school. They know best, and

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Speaker 1: kind of like hands off because I can't possibly do

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Speaker 1: everything to get to eight figures a year, and so

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Speaker 1: really like hiring not just a team but the best

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Speaker 1: that you can find and allowing them to do out

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Speaker 1: of the work and getting out of the way. So

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Speaker 1: that was that eight figure and even now I have

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Speaker 1: opportunities where if all of them come through, it would

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Speaker 1: take me gross meaning I'm sixteen years in business. It

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Speaker 1: would take me to a nine figure business gross not

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Speaker 1: not annually, or I will not be here. I'm now

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Speaker 1: struggling with that because I am holding on to my

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Speaker 1: eight figure wings, thinking like if I've flapped them hard enough,

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Speaker 1: I could And it's like no, girl, you have to

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Speaker 1: die and be reborn because that takes outside I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say outside investing and investment, but it doesn't

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Speaker 1: always have to be outside investment, like in the monetary sense,

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Speaker 1: but it's gonna take outside people. And I'm used to

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Speaker 1: doing everything myself, like everything, you know, my team is here.

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Speaker 1: We're self funded. You know, we've never taken money. You know,

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Speaker 1: we farm ourselves. All the fruit we eat, we build,

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Speaker 1: you know. But to get to one hundred million dollars,

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Speaker 1: you can't do that, you know. And I'm really struggling,

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Speaker 1: you know, with that. And it's I'm right at the

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Speaker 1: cusp of like it's time to build a crystalist and

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Speaker 1: I'm fighting it, like maybe I could do it this

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Speaker 1: way and it's just like narrow. But so I share

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Speaker 1: that to say that no matter where you are on business,

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Speaker 1: there's always going to be kind of like this being reborn,

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Speaker 1: dying being reborn, so meaning like you're gonna hit the

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Speaker 1: hard walls over and over, not because you're doing something wrong,

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Speaker 1: but because you're growing. In order to grow, you have

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Speaker 1: to have growing pains. That's what it looks like if

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Speaker 1: everything is really easy, and for the last three years

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Speaker 1: it's been smooth sailing, and you know, year after year

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Speaker 1: it's the same. Well, then you're in the same place, like,

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Speaker 1: of course you're getting a A. You're in high school and

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Speaker 1: you're still taking like, you know, second grade math, Well

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Speaker 1: you had better get a A, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So it's like you're not really challenging yourself to the

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Speaker 1: next level. And so I just want to say that

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Speaker 1: business is meant to be hard, and it doesn't get easier,

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Speaker 1: you just get better. That sounds painful, but it's still fun.

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Speaker 1: Though I would become liquefied.

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Speaker 3: I do feel like this year has been a year

404
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Speaker 3: of liquefication for me in a lot of ways. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I started my business. I mean I was nine to

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Speaker 3: five for a long time. How many of y'all are guys?

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Speaker 3: How many of y'all are nine to five? Maybe you

408
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Speaker 3: have a nine to five only, no shame, ninety.

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Speaker 1: Five girls these years? Nine to five plus a side hustle, Right,

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Speaker 1: that's the new right? What about who's just straight entrepreneur? Straight? Okay? Okay?

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Speaker 1: What's that straight entrepreneur? All right? I mean entrepreneur? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And I think for me, because I was, I wasn't.

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Speaker 3: I did not gracefully exit from nine to five life.

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Speaker 3: I would say it decided it was done with me.

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Speaker 3: I'll just putting it there because legal reasons. And for me,

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Speaker 3: it was like, Okay, I can't see my I can't

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Speaker 3: see myself right now trusting anyone. So I'm just gonna

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Speaker 3: trust myself and you know, start this business and then

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Speaker 3: it has become you know, my my Mandy money Maker's business.

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Speaker 3: The career coaching practice and getting to pour in and

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Speaker 3: be poured into by women.

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Speaker 1: Of color every day, every week has just been incredible.

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Speaker 3: But I'm trying to make space for like, I don't

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Speaker 3: know if it's a monetary goal, I'm not. I'm not

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Speaker 3: so I know someone mentioned I think it was Charmain

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Speaker 3: Rachel Rogers, who's such a baddie and like, you know,

427
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Speaker 3: it's like a what did you call her, like a

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Speaker 3: it's not a snake that would be bad, like a

429
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 3: bull or like she was just like really intense, you know,

430
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 3: and she like sets these goals. And I listened to

431
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 3: her podcasts and I you know, it's it's about what

432
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 3: you were talking about, like getting like making those rich

433
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 3: you know, decisions and making decisions that are bold and

434
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 3: they're going to get to the next level. But I'm

435
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 3: kind of like in this space where I'm okay right

436
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,120
Speaker 3: now with like the level, and like I just want

437
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 3: to sit in this level for a bit and I'm struggling.

438
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not struggling, but I'm recognizing that like

439
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 3: sometimes the more for more for more as a business owner,

440
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,679
Speaker 3: and it's what you feel like you should be reaching for.

441
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:16,640
Speaker 1: But I'm just trying to.

442
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 3: Be okay with where I'm at now and like just

443
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 3: sitting in it and learning from this space, not liquefying

444
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 3: just I mean, eventually I hope I can liquefy and.

445
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,440
Speaker 1: Enjoy your wings. I think sometimes you don't, Like that's

446
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 1: great joy enjoy your wings in a moment, you know,

447
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 1: just enjoy being out here.

448
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 3: Yes, And now with the podcast, like I feel like

449
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 3: with Brown Ambition, for me, it's always been bigger than

450
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 3: a podcast. It's really always been a conversation about, you know,

451
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 3: the special kind of ambition that you need as a

452
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,160
Speaker 3: person of color in this world when there's so many

453
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 3: obstacles and yet we strive, and yet we go, we

454
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 3: show up, you know, we fly from Japan just for him.

455
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 3: But it's also a question to me, like ambition, you know,

456
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 3: it's it's a question of what is enough and how

457
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 3: much of how much of the success, and how much

458
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 3: of the the accolades, the money, the whatever, the cars,

459
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 3: whatever you want to get, whatever you see for yourself.

460
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 1: How much of that is actually something that we genuinely

461
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: want to need, and.

462
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 3: How much of it is something we feel like we

463
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 3: must strive for because it just is such a part

464
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 3: of our story to be striving and reaching. And at

465
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 3: what point does that become almost like across to bear

466
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 3: and almost something that can hold you back. It's always striving.

467
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 3: It's very existential. I get that, but I'm I'm working

468
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 3: through it because I also have like two little boys,

469
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 3: And to be honest, right now, I'm like mostly mom.

470
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 3: Most of the time. I'm Mandy money for like three

471
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 3: hours a day.

472
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 1: School days are short. It felt long when we were kids,

473
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: but they're actually very short. I'm not able to get

474
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: much done.

475
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 3: And yeah, it's sometimes it's just the you know, I'm

476
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 3: not running around and traveling and building building building, I'm

477
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 3: just being being being while these little you know, nuggets

478
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 3: are small and cannot.

479
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,959
Speaker 1: Be Okay, of course, yeah, not all time is created equal,

480
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 1: not all yours. When your babies are babies, like you

481
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: don't ever get that back, you know. So if you've

482
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: got children, now you get a chance to lean in

483
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 1: and be present with them because you don't ever get

484
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: to redo that, you know, And like, to me, enough

485
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: is ambitious, especially in the world we live in now,

486
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's ambitious to say I'm actually okay,

487
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use these wings for

488
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 1: a while.

489
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 3: Did I ever tell you that I tried to come

490
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 3: up with the book idea that was like the power

491
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 3: of mediocrity And I'm just saying it out loud. I'm like,

492
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 3: want no one wants to buy that book. But isn't

493
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 3: that kind of like it's sometimes it's okay to like

494
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 3: it's just good enough.

495
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:02,439
Speaker 1: I'm good, yeah good, this is mind good. And you

496
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: know what, there's I think that we tie everything to

497
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: like financial that there has to be a reaction financially.

498
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: There are people who like play the piano, like, is

499
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 1: Cabrel in here? You go home?

500
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 4: Right?

501
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: So my friend Cabrell like took his plate with the foil.

502
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 1: I saw that. I was like, now you're taking your

503
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 1: four plate and going home. So Cabrel is an amazing singer.

504
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 1: Ask Cabro where he sits. He should have opened up

505
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: for us. Where does he sing nowhere? And I remember

506
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,719
Speaker 1: I didn't get it. I was like, I don't get it.

507
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: He he has a coach, he's been he's had a

508
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 1: coach for over ten years. He's has beautiful voice. I mean,

509
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,479
Speaker 1: it's just if you're in the car with him, you're

510
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: gonna hear him sing Luther, You're gonna and that's about it.

511
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: And it confused me so because it was like, what's

512
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: the point. The point is just mastery for mastery's sake.

513
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: He's like, I love to sing, and so I want

514
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 1: to be the best at it that I can be,

515
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: not because I'm necessarily going to be on stage somewhere.

516
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: And I just thought, you know, it's okay to just

517
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 1: be like, I'm I enjoy a thing so much, I

518
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: want to be good at it, not because I'm displaying

519
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 1: myself to the world or because I'm exchanging it for money. Yeah,

520
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: can we talk.

521
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 3: Well, that just the image that when you talked about

522
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 3: Cabrel singing just for himself. Sometimes that inner work, like

523
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 3: the work of just cultivating your own talent or cultivating

524
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 3: a scale that you care about can be lonely. But

525
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 3: I want to talk to you about that. On your

526
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 3: journey through entrepreneurship, how have you dealt with those times

527
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 3: where you can feel isolated because even though you have

528
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 3: a team, now I know it's gone smaller. Do you

529
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 3: struggle with it's all on my shoulders? You know, at

530
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 3: the end of the day, it's my name on the

531
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 3: virtual building kind of vibe.

532
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so. I think anybody in leadership feels

533
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: like that because at the end of the day, if

534
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,199
Speaker 1: something goes wrong, no one says, oh, it was your

535
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: project manager. They're like, it was you. Let me tell

536
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: you there are people not lucky. I'm so nice because

537
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 1: sometimes I remember a woman wrote me, so she bought

538
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: my book You Go with Money. She brought it from Amazon.

539
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: It was printed upside down, which okay, Like, girl, do

540
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: you think I'm book pressing at home? Wint The cover

541
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: was up side No, No, like the inside, you know,

542
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 1: like these things happen, So I'm assuming whatever at the

543
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: printing press. So she wrote me, She's like, really upset

544
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 1: I borrow your book. I got it from Amazon. It's

545
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: printed upside down. She's slid in my dms on ig

546
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 1: and there's two Tiffany's. There's the Tiffany that was like, okay, girl,

547
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 1: like you bought it from Amazon. First of all, let

548
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: me tell you something about Amazon. They're gonna give your

549
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: coins back quick fast, in a hurry, So what you

550
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 1: asking me for? But then the other Tiffany was like,

551
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, that's so crazy girl. You want me

552
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 1: to send you another book? And I did, cause what's

553
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: you know, twenty dollars? And then I think she realized

554
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 1: how silly it sounded. She's like, I'm surprised you even

555
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,920
Speaker 1: mentioned me. Girl. Back she was like, Tiffany, I'm gonna

556
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: go ahead on and send it to Amazon. Like the

557
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 1: comment sense that God gave me. But that is sometimes

558
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: like people think that I'm like the magic wand Waiver,

559
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 1: even on the team, Like there's some of my team

560
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 1: members in here now. Sometimes they come to me and

561
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, how would I know? I don't know, and

562
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: I don't I don't. Like it's almost like you know,

563
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: who's a parent in here? You know now that you

564
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: have children, don't you realize how much your parents knew nothing?

565
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 1: Because you'll be making it up your kids.

566
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 4: Come to you. You're like.

567
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: On Wednesday. You know, like, yeah, you can have cereal,

568
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 1: I guess is it okay? But the plan cera you know,

569
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 1: and it's the same. And the thing is that with years,

570
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: you collect knowledge and wisdom about your business and then

571
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: you make your best guess. That's what you do with

572
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 1: parenting too. Like if your kid is ten, they've never

573
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,719
Speaker 1: been ten before, you make your best guess. Even if

574
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 1: you have multiple kids, this kid has never been ten before,

575
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, because you know that first child is not

576
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 1: like that second child. I'm the second have you now,

577
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: I'm not shout out to you, izy, that's our bill,

578
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 1: that second child energy. We're gonna put give you a

579
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: roll for your money. You might stat after that second job.

580
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, tell me about my second child. He's so small.

581
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,239
Speaker 1: What's he gonna do to me? He's gonna put your

582
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: through all right? Well, I want to open the floor

583
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: for Brown, Bruce Brown break or b a q and a.

584
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: So my thoughts. Since y'all are here, anyone want to

585
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 1: ask a question live? It's time for the b a.

586
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 4: Q a A b a q A What you said

587
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 4: b a q air mandad b a q a with

588
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 4: tipping a to b a q a a.

589
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 1: That was a good idea. Okay, I'm shock by anyway,

590
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: Hey guys, I love you guys. My name is Betty.

591
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: I'm an inspectitioner. I practice aesthetics. Those questions for you, Mandy.

592
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: As a mom of multiple children, I have to on

593
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: my own my three children myself boys girls. My oldest

594
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: is a girl, and my two youngest boys. Yeah. Seven,

595
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: they kind of want a third, should I? Or like,

596
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: huh would you? Should I have another? How are you

597
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: feeling you're here? Do you want your very true? Mm hmm. Okay,

598
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 1: so from one to young child is not listening? No,

599
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 1: that's fine.

600
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 4: No.

601
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: One to two was an easy transition for me. Three

602
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: was hard to sell. Yeah, three was hard. I was like, damn,

603
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: we're not doing this so much. And I mean I

604
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: think part of the reason was because I had help

605
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: with the first two and then with the third one

606
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: not so much. It was right after COVID. So yeah,

607
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: but that's but that doesn't mean anything. You know, maybe

608
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: three will work, you're fucking hero. But yeah. So my

609
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 1: question was, you know, I'm an entrepreneur myself. Well i'm

610
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: you know, kind of transitioning into that role. How do

611
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 1: you balance being a mom of multiple children and still

612
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: being present, you know, with your children and your family

613
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: without getting the mom guilt, Like how do you kind

614
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: of balance that?

615
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 3: Also, my problem is I don't have mom guilt. I

616
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 3: have business guilt because I spend so much time with

617
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 3: my sharing. It's almost like because I I know that

618
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 3: it's you know, I think it's kind of like cool

619
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 3: and trendy to be like this is the worst.

620
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 1: Being a parent is so hard, and.

621
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 3: It really is, but it's real also really fun to

622
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 3: just like get on the floor and color. I really

623
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 3: like crafts, I like going to the library. So I

624
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 3: find it really simple to ignore my work and spend

625
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 3: time with the kids, which is a problem because childcare

626
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 3: is expensive. Mama needs to actually work. So for me,

627
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 3: it's like every day is different and I don't I mean,

628
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 3: I'll just tell you the real world, like every day

629
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 3: is different. I don't have a perfect routine. I try

630
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 3: to focus on one thing that I can do business

631
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 3: wise every day because my to do list is never

632
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 3: going to get to done in one day. I and

633
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 3: if I and I and my makers know because I've

634
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 3: been trying to set my intentions and are in our

635
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 3: slack every week and kind of say what I intend

636
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 3: this week, and if I overload it, it's not going

637
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 3: to get done. I'm going to get a call from

638
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 3: daycare about someone being sick. I'm going to get a

639
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 3: call you know that you forgot his lunch, you know,

640
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 3: bring it to the school. Whatever, it's going to disrupt

641
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 3: my day. Where I am trying to get a lot

642
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 3: better is in trusting my partner to show up for

643
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 3: me when I can't be there as like super mom

644
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 3: and trust that he can do as good.

645
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 1: Of a job. It's quite hard. I'm like a Microman momager.

646
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: I just think I do it the best, you know,

647
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 3: like and I entertain I'm like a cruise director.

648
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really am. You gotta keep this. It's a lot.

649
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 3: It's a lot of like if you don't want to

650
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 3: give him the phone. If you give him the phone,

651
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 3: it's like a little bit easier. But I don't do

652
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 3: that because I don't like joy or time alone. Okay,

653
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: so that may be like the worst way to answer

654
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 3: your question. What I'll I'll I say is like I

655
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,479
Speaker 3: have I mean, I have Tiffany and I love her

656
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 3: to my sister. I haven't I have like relatives they

657
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 3: live in different states. I have friends that are across

658
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 3: the country, but my neighbors across the street are essential

659
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 3: to me and they are the unsung heroes of my

660
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 3: this journey of my life as an entrepreneur, because I

661
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 3: can leave out my front door and I'll run into

662
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 3: someone who can hold a baby or run to the

663
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 3: store for me or babysit last minute. And building those

664
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 3: relationships has been such a life saver, especially during a

665
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 3: time with the pandemic where it was really easy to

666
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 3: be isolated.

667
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: I reached out.

668
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 3: I pushed through to reach out and like foremost connections

669
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 3: and my local little community is just a freaking life saver.

670
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: So having ye creating your own.

671
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 3: Damn village and like and actually like agreeing that will

672
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 3: be like I've had a conversation with a mom, like

673
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 3: if I if you live near me, I'd be like,

674
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 3: I'm your village. We have to help each other and

675
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 3: like have that like looking each other's eyes and be

676
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 3: like no, no, I mean it, Like I don't mean

677
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 3: go get a drink and be cute. I mean like

678
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 3: come over watch while I fold laundry, and like, you know,

679
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 3: can you watch baby? Why I full laundry? Or like

680
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 3: do a dish or write for my book or something

681
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 3: like that. Having that community is really essential.

682
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: Our community is here. Shout out to Sunday Supper folks.

683
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: I have a community. We call ourselves a Sunday Supper Crew,

684
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 1: and we started some years ago, or at least once

685
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 1: a month, we just tried to have Sunday Supper together

686
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 1: all of the neighborhood, my sisters, my neighbors, and so yeah,

687
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 1: that's exactly no.

688
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 3: I can't even get Anna to come. Anna doesn't want

689
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 3: to come to Sunday Supper. She wants to do it

690
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 3: once a month with my cousin that I can do

691
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 3: once a month, and it can't be the same Sunday.

692
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:46,919
Speaker 3: I was like, complease, No, that's really great though, thank

693
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 3: you for thank.

694
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 4: You, thank you.

695
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: Who's neck? Who's that?

696
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 4: Should?

697
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:58,400
Speaker 1: Come on up ahead? Sorry, orange sweater? Yes, a cute

698
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: A yay b A cute A transition. Sorry, I'm a

699
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:06,240
Speaker 1: little nervous.

700
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 5: I have a question that's like a two part question,

701
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 5: and I do kind of Okay, let me get it out.

702
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 5: So i've paid off my student loans, I currently haven't. Yes,

703
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 5: I do currently have an eighteen month old though, so

704
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 5: she'll be eighteen months next week. So Mama and Papa

705
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 5: are like taking care of a baby. So we're now

706
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 5: like in a good place, in a decent place financially

707
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 5: because we do pay for childcare, which is very expensive.

708
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 5: So my first question is do you think it is

709
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 5: worth having a five O three B for a child?

710
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 5: Like I'm sort of torn because there is someone that

711
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 5: is like, oh, you have to start now, you have

712
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 5: to start at eighteen months. But when I'm looking at

713
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 5: the actual risk to benefit ratio, I'm like, well, what

714
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 5: if she doesn't want to go to college and what

715
00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 5: if we don't have it?

716
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 1: Yes?

717
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, I'm sorry.

718
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: I was like, what is this. I don't know what

719
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 1: this is. I'm gonna have to google it. No, yes,

720
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: And I'm like.

721
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 3: Sure we're lying, yes, yes, three if there was a podcast,

722
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 3: you don't see us googling.

723
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 1: I mixed them up? Oh my god, sorry fire not Okay, Yes,

724
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: I'm smart, got it.

725
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 5: But so there is one woman that is like, you know,

726
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 5: you got to start now. She's eighteen months, like by

727
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 5: the time she paid off her son went to grad

728
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 5: school for free, Like she's paid both of her son's

729
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 5: college tuition, Like okay, great, but now I'm like, well,

730
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 5: you know, I don't know if I'm one hundred percent

731
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 5: sure if that's the right direction to go in, and

732
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 5: then we I've also been wondering, like, now that we're

733
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 5: in a decent place financially, what's the next step to be, Like, uh,

734
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 5: you know, okay, do I start investing here? Or like, okay,

735
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 5: do I just buy a house now? And like start

736
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 5: because you know, it's just a lot of decisions to

737
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 5: make it this direction.

738
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I don't know what to do.

739
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 3: I think this is like where Tiffany says, just enjoy

740
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 3: your wings a little bit, just be debt free for that,

741
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 3: just like enjoy the extra money. When I was a reporter,

742
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 3: I was a personal finance reporter for many years, and

743
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 3: whenever we would talk about this question, the financial advisors

744
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 3: that I would speak to would typically say something like,

745
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 3: your kids can take out student debt, but you can't

746
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 3: take out retirement loans, you know, other than from yourself.

747
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 3: And it was almost like the financial version of put

748
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 3: your own oxygen mask on first. So if there are

749
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 3: long term goals that you have, I wouldn't I wouldn't

750
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 3: necessarily feel like any kind of guilt or shame for

751
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 3: not setting aside like college shavings for them now. But

752
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: it really depends on what your priorities are as as

753
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 3: far as like the actual account the five two nine plan,

754
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 3: I mean there are benefits because you're they're tax benefits, right,

755
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 3: so you get to use that money.

756
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: It can grow tax free. But they have to use

757
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: it for college. Oh okay, fact check, because it used

758
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 1: to be it was just for college, but now it's

759
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: like school, so you can actually do five twenty nine

760
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: and in my paper daycare five twenty nine and at

761
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: my paper highschool because if they go to private high school,

762
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 1: it's like K through twelve now, right, yes, So because

763
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 1: there are fine so when you put money in a

764
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 1: five twenty nine, it does help to lower taxes. So

765
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: there are tax benefits. But to your point, for example,

766
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: for my bonus child, she's in school now, and I

767
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: didn't want to do a five twenty nine because it

768
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 1: didn't have those benefits then, because I just I don't know,

769
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 1: you don't know what these kids are going to do.

770
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: So it's said I did a custodial account, you know,

771
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 1: so I didn't get the tax benefits, but I set

772
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: aside money my husband I had set aside money for

773
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: her in an account, and now she's off at school.

774
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,720
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, now, knowing that she's in school

775
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: and she says she wants to get her masters, I'm like,

776
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 1: I should have done, but how can you know? You know?

777
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 1: But but to your to I think why my drink cats?

778
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 4: Right?

779
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: So that to the point now you know, like it's

780
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: not you're not as limited, you know, so I would

781
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 1: mean I'm not anti five twenty nine for that reason anymore.

782
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 3: I have one for my first because they get everything

783
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 3: the best. And Remy does not have a vibe, hasn't

784
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 3: been baptized yet.

785
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: No, that baby is out here in the world. Tbody

786
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: is so cute, this little.

787
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 4: Us.

788
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, but and I have but I also have a

789
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 3: custodial account, and I think either option is is perfectly fine.

790
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 3: But you mentioned the house and your other priorities, and

791
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 3: I just think that, I mean, I wouldn't be rushing

792
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 3: to become a homeowner having done it. M it's so

793
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:36,959
Speaker 3: much money, so much.

794
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 1: Do you have a business. You're a nurse, right or no,

795
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 1: that was you're a nurse? Sorry what did you say? No,

796
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: I'm only asking because, for example, for Alyssa, my stepdaughter.

797
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: I actually I have to do it now before the

798
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,399
Speaker 1: end of the year. I'm going to she does social media,

799
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,760
Speaker 1: why she feels like it, but I pay her enough

800
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 1: so she can nax out her raw fire it. So yes,

801
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 1: So that's another way if you had a business. So

802
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: I pay her for the year at the end of

803
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: the year. So this year, the max is seven thousand dollars.

804
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,399
Speaker 1: And so even though every year it happens, I'm gonna

805
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 1: call her and be like, Melissa, you're gonna magically have

806
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 1: seven thousand dollars year account, money you did not work for.

807
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: When it lands, don't touch it because I have a

808
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 1: financial advisor that will pull it and put it into

809
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: her wrath. Last year she touched it, I said, girl,

810
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,919
Speaker 1: where's five hundred dollars? Is that what that was? Why

811
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: don't you have sixty five hundred dollars? What do you

812
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: do for a living? And then the year before that

813
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 1: it was six thousand, same she took three hundred dollars

814
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 1: out and I was like, what she's like, I was wondering.

815
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, so even though I was like, her birthday

816
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 1: just passed, I said, look at me in the eyes

817
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,840
Speaker 1: we're not gonna do this again. This is year three.

818
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: There's going to be seven thousand dollars deposited. It takes

819
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: about twenty four hours before it pulls out. But that's

820
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 1: another way if you for those of you who have

821
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 1: children and so we're in your three or four doing

822
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 1: for her, which is great because if I continue to

823
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 1: do this or she maxes it out by the time

824
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: she's thirty, you know, she will be really really well off.

825
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,320
Speaker 1: You know. So I do believe in like because you

826
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: don't have to do as much if you start sooner.

827
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: Fifty dollars here, fifty dollars there, when your baby is

828
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:21,280
Speaker 1: a baby can make a big difference. Absolutely. That custodial

829
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: iray I started for real five years.

830
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 3: Ago is looking very cute. Yes, I'm like, let me

831
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 3: put that out of my sight. But thank you so

832
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 3: much for your ques.

833
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 2: Thank you.

834
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 1: If you do one more. Yes, we have one in

835
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 1: the bag. I think I saw the one on the aisle. Yes,

836
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: with denim and the braids. Gorgeous. Oh yes, we love

837
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 1: We love a sister a lot. We're just saying it's

838
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 1: incredible what our hair can do. I know, dude. Sorry,

839
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: it's time. Forday Okay, I didn't come from Japan, but

840
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: it was a two and a half drive from Brooklyn. Brooklyn.

841
00:41:55,640 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 1: It's rush hours. That's like two bridges. That's a lot. Okay.

842
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 1: So my name is Sonya. I'm an entrepreneur. So my

843
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 1: question is for Tiffany and for a Mandy. I am

844
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: in a space now where my business has grown. I

845
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,360
Speaker 1: left my nine to five It almost felt like seven

846
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,280
Speaker 1: to nine. But I left that job in twenty twenty

847
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: one and went full time with my side hustle. I'm

848
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 1: a therapist, and so I have decided, oh, we're going

849
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: into your five. Let's let's hire people so we don't

850
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 1: have to do all of the work. And I'm like,

851
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: this scaling is it's not easy, So how how do you?

852
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 1: I'm like, how do I get to a place where

853
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: I'm not allowing the growing pains to overwhelm me? Because

854
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm starting to get overwhelmed with figuring

855
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: out how to grow the business simultaneously while I'm still

856
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,839
Speaker 1: doing my own work and then not freak out because

857
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I got to pay people,

858
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 1: so I need to make sure that they have work.

859
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: And so I find myself staying up till three am

860
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: being like, how can I find more clients for them

861
00:42:58,440 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 1: to be able to work with? How can I find

862
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: more things for them to be able to do? So

863
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: it makes sense and not feel like maybe he wasn't

864
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 1: ready to scale. But I'm like, I'm going into year five.

865
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: I felt like I was in that space where I'm like, Okay,

866
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,439
Speaker 1: we're doing second grade again, and that's why you're getting

867
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: an A. It is time to grow. But I'm like,

868
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 1: it's only been a month.

869
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 3: So they've like come to your practice to work underneath

870
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:21,360
Speaker 3: your brand as therapist.

871
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I mean they should bring their own clients, right.

872
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,439
Speaker 1: I was about to say, I'm gonna tell you elegant eyes,

873
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: they've been my friend Cabrel, his grandparents started sixty years

874
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: old and so they've been here through the New York Riots.

875
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 1: Then it passed on to his mother, then him and

876
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 1: his sister. And when I to me, when I look

877
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 1: for mentorship, I don't care as much as how much

878
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 1: money you make, but how long have you been in business?

879
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 1: Because you don't seen it all. Because i'll ask a

880
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 1: bro something, he'll be like, well, in nine to five

881
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: we had that issue. I'm like, do tell, And so

882
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,720
Speaker 1: I asked a bro, that's Higin and what you said, Mandy?

883
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: He was like, if you bring someone on, make it

884
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 1: very clear that you Not every position does this, but

885
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 1: it sounds like your therapist. You have to bring me

886
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: ideally four times what I pay you, at least, because

887
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: not just like, oh, let's just say you pay them

888
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 1: twenty thousand dollars a year, not you make me twenty

889
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: because I have to pay taxes, I have to do savings.

890
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: It's like, no, no, ideally four times more. I didn't

891
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: know I can make that ask of my like the

892
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 1: people who work for me and so, but because too,

893
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 1: like you can, I incentivize them by also setting aside

894
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,280
Speaker 1: like a bonus pool.

895
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 4: You know.

896
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 1: So what I do for my company now is that like, so,

897
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 1: I get a salary. Everybody gets a salary, and everybody

898
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 1: was asking for races. I said, where, show me where

899
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: the money is? Show me show me it's not here.

900
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty three is a hard year. So what I

901
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 1: did instead, I said, I'll let you get paid. How

902
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: I get paid. I get a base salary, a regular salary,

903
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: just like everybody else. It's not even the highest. But

904
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 1: what I do get is that when there's extra money

905
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 1: every month, I can take an owner's draw. So after

906
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 1: I set us side money for taxes, for savings, for

907
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: all these other things, sometimes there's money left over. Sometimes

908
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:09,320
Speaker 1: there's zero, sometimes there's negative. But I can pull a draw,

909
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 1: and I'll let you get a draw. To that draw

910
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 1: that I pull, I'll put twenty percent in a bonus

911
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: pool for you, and then every quarter anybody who's a

912
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: full time employee can split that pool. Because what it

913
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 1: does is that it won It means that I never

914
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: pay out more than what we've made because bonus is

915
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 1: always extra. But it also incentivized them to make money.

916
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: You know, there are some positions that don't like. Maybe

917
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 1: your admin doesn't necessarily generate income, but especially when you're

918
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:42,879
Speaker 1: hiring hiring generating income generating people, I don't hay around it. Hey,

919
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 1: maybe that's my niece of my nephew late. Yah, Mama

920
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: brought ya late, share brought y'all late. Don't be like mind,

921
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 1: I'm just talking.

922
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 5: All right.

923
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: There was act like they don't know me. That was

924
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: hard when I speak up from pigh school. I used

925
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: to be like, why are you like we don't know me?

926
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: The teacher I think I steal every week. Well I

927
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 1: don't know, but yeah, so that's the ways is, especially

928
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 1: if it's a therapist. I mean, ask anyone who owns

929
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:15,240
Speaker 1: like a salon, like the stylist has to bring clients.

930
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: You know, that's not a big that's not an you

931
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 1: can't do all the work. You know, it's not fair.

932
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 3: State farm agents, you know, like insurance, like you're under

933
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 3: the umbrella. But you're like an entrepreneur. You're and they

934
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 3: call them small business owners. You own your own business.

935
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 3: I mean my therapist, she has a practice and there

936
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 3: are other therapists that work under her and it and

937
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 3: they could look at it like, well, I'm why why

938
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 3: join your practice when I have my own clients. But

939
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,919
Speaker 3: they also can keep growing, they can bring in more

940
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 3: clientele and say, well, if you want to join us, like,

941
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 3: there are other people in my practice, so then you're

942
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 3: not overwhelmed with like too many clients. But I think

943
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 3: that's the key. And I was just going to say,

944
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,839
Speaker 3: you need a community of other mental health practitioners who

945
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 3: are doing something similar, who have grown a business, who

946
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 3: are like a few steps ahead of you, who know

947
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 3: what you're going through and can like be there alongside you.

948
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: I just don't want you to be doing it by yourself.

949
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 1: That's hard, too hard. M hm. That's what we do,

950
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: what we know, because you can't be marketing for like

951
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 1: no no, no, no, no, no no no. And sometimes I mean,

952
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 1: I hate to say it, but sometimes it's overwhelming because

953
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: it's overwhelming. I mean, for any of y'all who have

954
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,919
Speaker 1: pushed out a human being, it's like, ain't that a lot?

955
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 1: It's like sometimes I mean for some people they're like,

956
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: you know, you've sneeze and the baby came out. But

957
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,240
Speaker 1: for most people it's like, oh, it's hard because it's hard.

958
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 1: I don't know. We live in this weird space where

959
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 1: we think hard means wrong, and sometimes it's hard. It

960
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: shouldn't be feeling this stressed. I mean it's not ideal,

961
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: you know, and so to feel stressed. But it's like

962
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,879
Speaker 1: learning to like that this thing is hard because it's hard,

963
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 1: so it shouldn't stress you out. This is the natural

964
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: order of things, is what I'm saying that, like, oh,

965
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: I'm growing, you know, like I don't know how to

966
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: color right away, I don't know how to ride my

967
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 1: bike right away. That's just what it looks like. It's

968
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,280
Speaker 1: hard because it's hard. It's meant to be hard because

969
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 1: the truth is you have to make yourself worthy of

970
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: the dream that you seek. You know it's not for

971
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: everybody because if it was easy. Let's just say you

972
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 1: were gifted. You're at door one, and you're gifted a

973
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 1: pass to get to door ten. Right, you didn't have

974
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 1: to go to two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine.

975
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 1: I promise you when you get to ten, you'll realize

976
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 1: that the key to ten was at seven. So now

977
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 1: you gotta go back to seven. But you didn't realize

978
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 1: that the key at seven is inside a box that

979
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: was at door three. Now you gotta go back to three.

980
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 1: And then the box took the puzzled code to the

981
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: box was at door too. Now you shot just go

982
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: through all the doors because by the time you realize

983
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: so there is no skipping the line, you're going to

984
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 1: have to pay your dues. It's just the It's doctor Green,

985
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 1: my therapist talks about that we're not here for stress

986
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 1: stress stress management because stress is it's like cancer management,

987
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 1: like we're not who wants that. It's really learning internally

988
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 1: how to manage how you feel about the things. This

989
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 1: is a natural reaction to what's happening, Like, oh, this

990
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 1: feels like a lot because it's a lot, but it

991
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it has to make you feel so bad.

992
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?

993
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,479
Speaker 3: No, my therapist this week, we're really candid about our therapy.

994
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:21,840
Speaker 3: I'm starting with a new therapist. And he literally was like,

995
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 3: I told him what I am. I told him I

996
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 3: had to break up with my other one.

997
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:29,439
Speaker 1: No tomorrow, tomorrow, that's hard.

998
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 4: Oh, we need to ask you, but I.

999
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 3: But she's so great, she'll understand, you know, I I've outgrown,

1000
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 3: I'm on a different path.

1001
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:39,760
Speaker 1: She does young mothers.

1002
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:43,720
Speaker 3: So anyway, but I was telling you in this really difficult,

1003
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:45,840
Speaker 3: complex family issue, and he looked at me and he

1004
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 3: was like, that sounds like you're having an appropriate reaction.

1005
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 3: I thought that's extremely complex, and I was like even

1006
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,879
Speaker 3: just accepting, Oh, this is the only way to feel

1007
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 3: about it because it's really effed up and there's no

1008
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 3: great solution and like there's no right or wrong. It's

1009
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 3: just like withithstanding that feeling is something that like I

1010
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 3: understand why we turn to like our our you know,

1011
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 3: these unhealthy ways of coping with stress, because it's just

1012
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 3: so can be so uncomfortable, but almost sitting in that

1013
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,719
Speaker 3: discomfort is it's like a muscle that you have to practice.

1014
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 3: And my therapist, this new one especially, is reminding me

1015
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 3: that you can withstand this. You can it will, it

1016
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 3: will pass, it will get through. And you know, I

1017
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 3: like to use this analogy all the time, like there's

1018
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 3: a version of myself a year from now who's done

1019
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 3: this hard thing and has gotten through it. And I'm like,

1020
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 3: that girl's got she figured it out, so I'll figure

1021
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: it out. It's a great little mind.

1022
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:42,760
Speaker 1: It is. Well you would you would know therapists. Yeah,

1023
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 1: you're congratulations on your business. Thank you by e you

1024
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: a what you said that by thank y'all so much.

1025
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 1: Just says a dream come true.