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Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shondaland Audio in

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Speaker 1: partnership with iHeartRadio. Okay, Alb, we have to interview Vira now,

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Speaker 1: but is there any other last things you want to

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Speaker 1: tell me or Daddy or any of our listeners.

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Speaker 2: My fair things being I'm grateful for being a Ninja

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Speaker 2: and my family.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Say peace out, love you. Okay, do

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Speaker 1: you want to say bye.

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Speaker 2: Bye bye bye bye bye, Babby?

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Speaker 3: She said, bye bye. I love you, I love you.

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Speaker 2: Great job.

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Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Hello, friends, Mama's Katie's Crib, community caretakers, everyone.

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Speaker 1: This is what's wild that I'm even about to say this,

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Speaker 1: but I'm currently about to record the final episode of

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Speaker 1: Katie's Crib. My goodness, have we all gone through stuff together?

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Speaker 1: And I'm just so grateful. I'm sitting here just so grateful,

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Speaker 1: and I am bringing to you a last episode with

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Speaker 1: my family because who else best to ask how I've

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Speaker 1: been doing as a mom and everything that I've learned

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Speaker 1: from Katie's Crib with your support. But Adam, Albi and

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Speaker 1: Verra right, so they are my guests today. This is

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Speaker 1: the final episode of season six and the final episode

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Speaker 1: of Katie's Crib. We've done six seasons. Give it up

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Speaker 1: for six seasons? Are you hidding? When I started this,

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Speaker 1: when we would record in Albi's crib nursery room, hence

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Speaker 1: the title, I had no idea that this would be

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Speaker 1: my safe space. I had no idea this would be

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Speaker 1: my mom village. I had no idea this could be

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Speaker 1: the platform where I could take all of my biggest

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Speaker 1: worries and heartbreaks and anxieties and joys and triumphs and

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Speaker 1: failures and find any sort of expert or other mom

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Speaker 1: who'd been through it to come on and hopefully all

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Speaker 1: together we could learn how to get through this whole thing,

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Speaker 1: which we are still doing. But I want you all

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Speaker 1: to know this is not the end of us. Look,

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Speaker 1: the podcast can be referred to constantly. I listened back

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Speaker 1: to the things experts say all the time because I

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Speaker 1: forget amazing lessons that I learned in seasons one, two, three, four, five, six.

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Speaker 1: But beyond that, Thank Gosh for social media. Thank Gosh,

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Speaker 1: who am I good morning? Thank God for social media

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Speaker 1: because you can always reach me and I can always

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Speaker 1: reach you, and they are exciting potential Katie's Crib things

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Speaker 1: in the works just FYI. So I can't really say

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Speaker 1: what those things are right now, but there are Katie's

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Speaker 1: Crib future lives that are in the works and potentially happening.

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Speaker 1: This work is so near and dear to my heart.

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Speaker 1: So even though this is the final episode of Katie's

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Speaker 1: Crib is a podcast, we are not final. Does that

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Speaker 1: make any sense? And I'm making any sense. Let's get

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Speaker 1: on with it, right because otherwise I'm just gonna sit

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Speaker 1: here like a blubbering mess. I cry a lot on

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Speaker 1: this podcast. So, guys, the guest today, as I just explained, yes,

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Speaker 1: is the love of my life.

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Speaker 3: We're back Baby Katie's Crib.

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Speaker 1: My husband, my baby daddy, Adam Mark Shapiro, shepis share apps. So, Adam,

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Speaker 1: how has Katie's Crib affected our journey as parents? Using?

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Speaker 4: I mean A big part of the way that it's

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Speaker 4: affected me, I think is it's so hard to get

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Speaker 4: to my underwear drawer while you're recording it.

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Speaker 1: I have deceased.

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Speaker 4: I've gone a lot of days commando because you're recording

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Speaker 4: Katie's Crib and I can't get in my closet.

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Speaker 1: My clawfice has just like a piece of plastic that

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Speaker 1: I open up the door. You've seen photos, and I

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Speaker 1: will post photos at the time of this podcast airing.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm usually in here pretty early recording and

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Speaker 1: Adam can't get to his underwear. Do you even remember

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Speaker 1: this podcast starting? Do you remember when I used Akua

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Speaker 1: used to come over in Albi's nurse It was his nursery,

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Speaker 1: then it was the playroom. Now it's his room because

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Speaker 1: Verra's moved. We've done a lot of musical bedrooms in

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Speaker 1: this house to make it all work. But yes, she

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Speaker 1: used to come over, and like Kate Kristen be Well,

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Speaker 1: came Rebecca Ben and nadi Jen Finnegan pre COVID. We

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Speaker 1: were recording in a studio. We were having round tables

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Speaker 1: with a bunch of people.

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Speaker 4: My first experiences with Katie's Crib were making the logo

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Speaker 4: and adding the bottle to the logo.

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Speaker 1: Oh remember that, I do remember that.

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Speaker 4: I bring the graphic design as well, not just fathering

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Speaker 4: the children.

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Speaker 1: Is he not just a one stop shop of perfection

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Speaker 1: this man.

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Speaker 4: I've just had such a unique experience with Katie's Crib

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Speaker 4: being the.

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Speaker 3: Co parent to you.

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Speaker 4: No one else in the world gets to listen to

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Speaker 4: this podcast and be like, oh, I didn't realize she

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Speaker 4: felt that way about that, or I didn't realize that happened,

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Speaker 4: or we hadn't had time to talk about that story,

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Speaker 4: and that was actually new to me. It was almost

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Speaker 4: like a podcast just for me in a lot of ways,

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Speaker 4: to listen to and get to hear your insights in

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Speaker 4: a way that probably most husbands and wives are co

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Speaker 4: parents don't actually have the time to sit down and

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Speaker 4: talk about.

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Speaker 1: Yes, But then also, didn't you find it really hard

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Speaker 1: in the beginning? I remember like I would learn things

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Speaker 1: from experts about shit we were doing wrong or not

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Speaker 1: to the best of our ability.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: You'd come streaming out of the closet and be like Adam.

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Speaker 1: We need to yeah, or like you would be in

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Speaker 1: the middle of doing something, like we would learn something

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Speaker 1: and we would kind of use it against each other,

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Speaker 1: not in a bad way, but in a good way.

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Speaker 1: I would put a lot of food out on their plates,

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Speaker 1: and Adam would be like taliamore the nutrition episode, like

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Speaker 1: we know we're not supposed to give them, Like this

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Speaker 1: is overwhelming and causes anxiety. Daniel Siegel comes on and

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Speaker 1: it's all about rupture and repair and if there was

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Speaker 1: a rupture and you and Alb got into some sort

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Speaker 1: of upsetting moment, and then I'm like, you can go

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Speaker 1: in there and you just have to say, remember when

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Speaker 1: that happened. I'lbe I'm really sorry about that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And sometimes I'd be like, I appreciate the advice Katie,

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Speaker 4: and then other times I'd just be like, I don't

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Speaker 4: want Katie's crib this moment right now. I just want

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Speaker 4: to yell at them put of my room.

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Speaker 6: Here's an example where my kids were older than your

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Speaker 6: son is at that time. But I had a nine

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Speaker 6: at the time, my daughter and then our son was fourteen,

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Speaker 6: and we were walking by this crepe store near where

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Speaker 6: we lived, and my son said he's hungry. I said, oh,

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Speaker 6: do you want to crape? And he said, yeah, I

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Speaker 6: love crepe. And then I asked his sister, do you

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Speaker 6: want to crape? She goes, I'm not hungry. I said fine,

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Speaker 6: you know, so we went in, he got a crape

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Speaker 6: and then she said to him, can I have a

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Speaker 6: taste of your crape? He goes no, And I'm just

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Speaker 6: fuming inside, like I've done a horrible job teaching him

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Speaker 6: to be a sharer and he's selfish and all stuff,

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Speaker 6: and then I exploded. Luckily my wife was home and

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Speaker 6: she intervenes when all the three of us get home,

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Speaker 6: and then my system is starting to slowly calm down.

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Speaker 6: And so his sister and I go for rollerblading out

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Speaker 6: on the street and she says to me. She goes, Dad,

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Speaker 6: what was going on? Why did you get so angry?

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Speaker 6: I said, oh, you know, because he didn't share the

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Speaker 6: crepe with you. She goes, I can handle myself. What

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Speaker 6: was happening? I said, oh, I was trying to guess

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Speaker 6: work through the way. My parents never protected me, so

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Speaker 6: I was trying to protect you. And since she looks

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Speaker 6: at me, she goes, this is your own garbage. She goes,

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Speaker 6: why don't you work this out on your own time?

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Speaker 1: And that's parenting the crepes of wrath business.

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Speaker 6: That was the rupture and then figuring it out. But

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Speaker 6: the repair happened when she and I got back from

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Speaker 6: the rollerblading thing. We had a family meeting and I

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Speaker 6: apologized to my son for having, you know, flipped my lid,

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Speaker 6: for just asserting his right to eat his crape by himself.

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Speaker 4: The kids are so great, and I think a lot

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Speaker 4: of our battles have had to do with food, and

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Speaker 4: I think maybe that's just me projecting because a lot

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Speaker 4: of my battles have to do with food. But I

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Speaker 4: think that first or second episode with Talia when she

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Speaker 4: was talking about.

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Speaker 3: Nutrition was like I was, that was like a huge.

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Speaker 4: Corner that we turned with Albie, and I think it's

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Speaker 4: huge things out for years because of that.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this is what I hear in my head

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Speaker 1: all the time. What and when they eat is up

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Speaker 1: to me, If they eat is up to them. Parenthood

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Speaker 1: is so much about fighting the things that have been

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Speaker 1: pushed into you from your childhood experience, good or bad.

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Speaker 1: Am I going to do this the same? Am I

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Speaker 1: going to do this different? And I'm gonna am I

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Speaker 1: going to learn mostly about yourself and your own shit

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Speaker 1: in the process. It's been such a gift to have

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Speaker 1: access to the best experts and people who've been through

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Speaker 1: it before. Like, for example, we're gonna potty train via

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Speaker 1: this weekend, and I'm already like, oh, I just go

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Speaker 1: back and listen to Jamie Gowacky's episode who wrote the book,

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Speaker 1: Oh crap, And I feel like a pro already.

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Speaker 7: Because the signs of readiness quote unquote are so subtle.

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Speaker 7: I always say between twenty and thirty months is perfect, right,

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Speaker 7: And the biggest issue you guys is you can certainly

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Speaker 7: potty train before twenty month. It's going to be a

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Speaker 7: longer learning curve, but you don't get any attitude. The

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Speaker 7: kid just takes a little longer to connect the dots.

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Speaker 7: After thirty six months, your kid goes through a psychological

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Speaker 7: process called individuation, which means they begin to realize they're

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Speaker 7: a separate person from you. So yeah, So all I

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Speaker 7: tell people is I don't really give a ratsas when

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Speaker 7: you potty chain. I have no investment whatsoever. I don't

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Speaker 7: care if you could go to college in dapors. Just

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Speaker 7: know that every month that goes by, you are cementing

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Speaker 7: a different habit.

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Speaker 1: Diaper wearing is a habit. That's it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we have we've had unprecedented access to all of

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Speaker 4: the biggest experts in all of the fields of child.

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Speaker 1: Develop Fucking Harvey Karp came on the inventor of the

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Speaker 1: snow and the five fucking esses.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that was pretty great. That was great.

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Speaker 8: What snow does, in addition to rocking and shushing all night,

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Speaker 8: is that it hears when the baby cries and responds

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Speaker 8: with a little bit more jiggle and shush.

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Speaker 1: I mean, come on, but it's true.

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Speaker 8: We're the most awarded baby product in history for innovation, technology, safety,

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Speaker 8: and design. It's in three of the leading art museums

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Speaker 8: around the world.

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Speaker 1: We loved it because I was a bad swaddler, and

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Speaker 1: so this new comes with a really beautifully tight zip

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Speaker 1: up a bowl sleepsack sort of thing that you put

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Speaker 1: the baby in, and it is a swat, it's a swaddle,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not doing it with all this material that

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Speaker 1: he's getting out of and it's terrible.

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Speaker 3: Right, our kids slept like a baby.

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Speaker 1: That's one thing we didn't fuck up. We fucked up

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, but sleeping we nailed. And honestly,

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Speaker 1: that is a testament to Adam Shapiro and incredible boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Because if I was married to somebody else, my kids

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Speaker 1: would be in the bed. I would have no ability

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Speaker 1: to say no. And Adam just you really were like, no,

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Speaker 1: they've been in. They just have a really good relationship

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Speaker 1: to sleep and putting themselves to sleep, and you really

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Speaker 1: fought for that as a massive value in the health

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Speaker 1: of this family of four.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I need I'm not messing down. I don't need

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Speaker 4: to be getting kicked in my balls every two hours

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Speaker 4: in the bed by I'll be like.

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Speaker 3: That was huge.

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Speaker 4: That was huge for us to like really get comfortable

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Speaker 4: and learn everything there was to know about infants and

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Speaker 4: toddlers and kids sleeping, because it's a huge part of

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Speaker 4: the early part of parenting is the sleeping. I can't

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Speaker 4: tell you how many conversations I had with friends and

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Speaker 4: like the unbelievable struggles that they've been having with their

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Speaker 4: kids sleeping and not sleeping and getting in their bed

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Speaker 4: and wake up in the middle of the night and

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Speaker 4: all that kind of stuff. And we were able to

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Speaker 4: have access through Katie's crib to some really amazing information

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Speaker 4: that we implemented immediately.

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Speaker 3: And this was all happening for us in real time too.

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Speaker 4: Like we started with sleeping and nutrition and that was

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Speaker 4: that those were two things that we were able to

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Speaker 4: put in there right away.

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Speaker 1: And I yeah, I also think it helps your marriage

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Speaker 1: because there's a middle person who's an expert telling us

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Speaker 1: what to do, versus one parent struggling with a differing

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Speaker 1: opinion than another parent, Like I think When Betsy Brown

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Speaker 1: Braun came on, she wrote the book, You're not the

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Speaker 1: boss of me, and just tell me what to say.

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Speaker 1: And Albi was having We were having a lot of

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Speaker 1: difficulty mitigating the discipline waters with him.

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Speaker 9: A consequence needs to be related to what the misstep was,

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Speaker 9: and more times than not, it will work.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's say a kid hits another kid. What's the consequence.

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Speaker 1: You are at a pool party.

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Speaker 9: Okay, hitting is a I mean, that's all. That's one

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Speaker 9: of those topics. I mean, I'd be asking you lots

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Speaker 9: of questions. But if we've walked into the party and

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Speaker 9: I've said, Alb, we're going to this party, there will

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Speaker 9: be other kids. If there is a problem, you come

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Speaker 9: and get me and I will help you. We do

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Speaker 9: not hit. If you need to hit, we will leave. Now,

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Speaker 9: the other part of this is maybe he doesn't want

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Speaker 9: to be there and he wants to leave, so maybe he's.

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Speaker 3: Goes Okay, we're off.

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Speaker 1: No, but I understand that's a logical consequence, right correct.

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Speaker 1: He was hitting kids, he was having tantrums. And we

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Speaker 1: had just brought Via into the world, and her episode

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Speaker 1: was so instrumental in terms of like natural consequences. It

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Speaker 1: was like taking away the object we're in said, are

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Speaker 1: going to go away. You can't play with her until

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Speaker 1: you're ready to play with her in a different way.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Betsy had like the tiniest little adjustments that you

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Speaker 4: can make that just made all the difference in the world.

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Speaker 4: For example, like even before we talked to Betsy, it's

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Speaker 4: like the you remember when we were talking about Albie

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Speaker 4: was having trouble sleeping. At one point we had like

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Speaker 4: a sleep trainer to tell us, oh, he needs to

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Speaker 4: eat five minutes before you guys are feeding him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was Susie Monkey's of the Healthy Little Sleepers episode.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, doctor mankys you now, and she came in and

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Speaker 4: she gave us this five minute adjustment.

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Speaker 3: I just thought it was so ridiculous to hear.

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Speaker 4: And then all of a sudden you started feeding him

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Speaker 4: five minutes earlier, and it just made this giant difference

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Speaker 4: in the entire course of the night.

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Speaker 3: It's amazing.

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Speaker 1: How do you wean a baby off of nighttime feedings

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Speaker 1: in order to get a longer chunk stretch of sleep.

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Speaker 10: So again, so the first feeding, we want it after midnight.

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Speaker 1: Because their brains are going to develop if they go

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Speaker 1: down at seven pm and they sleep till midnight. That's

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Speaker 1: a great five hour developmental chunk. Okay.

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Speaker 10: And then you can do it a couple ways. You

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Speaker 10: can push the time out. So let's say two nights

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Speaker 10: in a row, they made it to twelve thirty okay,

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Speaker 10: tomorrow night, let's try and make it twelve forty five

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Speaker 10: or one o'clock okay. So you can push it out

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Speaker 10: that way. You can also reduce how much how much

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Speaker 10: time wise or that I did, and kind of push

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Speaker 10: it out that way so they get their stomach is

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Speaker 10: less full, right, so they're not used to sleeping on

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Speaker 10: a full stump.

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Speaker 1: No one teaches you this shit too. How are you

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Speaker 1: supposed to fucking know?

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Speaker 3: Well, there's a lot of books.

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Speaker 1: You can listen, there's a lot of books, but oh

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Speaker 1: my god, who's got time? I literally have talked to

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Speaker 1: one thousand moms between this podcast and just living our lives,

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Speaker 1: and I don't think I've ever known any mom that

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Speaker 1: is actually finished. Yeah. Also, everything's a phase. By the

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Speaker 1: time you think you've read a book on the thing

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Speaker 1: your kid is going through, it's changed there. It's just

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Speaker 1: so hard you're into the next thing. Any particular episodes

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Speaker 1: or moments that touched or changed you.

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Speaker 4: The one that really sticks out is when Kristen Bell

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Speaker 4: was talking about decks having to suck out the uh

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Speaker 4: the Clock blog ducked.

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Speaker 1: So masitis is a an infection.

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Speaker 3: It's a blocked milk duct.

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Speaker 11: So look, if your milk does come in, you might

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Speaker 11: feel like you suck and you have to go to formula.

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Speaker 12: Don't beat yourself up.

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Speaker 11: If your milk does come in and you have too

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Speaker 11: much milk like I did, your ducks can get blocked

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Speaker 11: very easily and you still feel like you suck. Because

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Speaker 11: what can happen with mestitis is it gets blocked, it

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Speaker 11: starts to get sore. If you are not so on

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Speaker 11: top of that, you have to stand under the shower,

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Speaker 11: you have to put heat packs on it. You have

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Speaker 11: to open that duct up or get that baby to

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Speaker 11: see it's so painful. It's pretty painful in the beginning

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Speaker 11: when it's forming. If it goes to the second stage

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Speaker 11: and the baby doesn't suck it out, it can get

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Speaker 11: infected the third stage. After if it gets infected, it

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Speaker 11: can go to your blood and it's like literally hospital,

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Speaker 11: you could die. So you have to be very serious

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Speaker 11: about mestitis, so serious.

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Speaker 1: I will never forget it dangle feeding feeding, dangle feeding

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Speaker 1: so that the gravity helps you know your boob. You're

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Speaker 1: basically on all fours and the baby's breastfeeding on the floor,

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Speaker 1: so that maybe the gravity will help pull the clog out. Guys,

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Speaker 1: this shit is horrifying and so hard, and I'm pumping

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Speaker 1: it on the masaging them, taking diapers, filling them with

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Speaker 1: hot water, microwaving them for twenty seconds, and then taking

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Speaker 1: a steaming hot diaper and placing it on my boob

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Speaker 1: just trying to like heat sometimes gets it out. Massage.

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Speaker 1: One time, I took a fucking thera gun. I don't

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Speaker 1: recommend this, please, I'm not a doctor. Don't listen to me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I took a thera gun to my boob. But I

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Speaker 1: got to the point where I said to Adam, I've

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Speaker 1: got the worst duct. I'm so scared of getting mestitis.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna make it. The baby's suction is not

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Speaker 1: hard enough to get it out, the pump isn't working.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna have to.

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Speaker 4: Be Yeah, But because Dax did it, I was like,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna do it too.

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Speaker 1: Had you not known that Dax had never done it,

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Speaker 1: do you think you would have said.

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Speaker 3: No, Yeah, I know. I just would have been like,

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Speaker 3: what are you talking about? This is insane.

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Speaker 4: There's gotta be a better way talk about having to

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Speaker 4: rupture and repair. That would have taken a while for

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Speaker 4: us to get over the postpartum depression stuff that you

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Speaker 4: guys talked about. That really helped me too, because there's

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Speaker 4: in a weird way, I think like when you went

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Speaker 4: through your postpartum is like maybe when I had the

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Speaker 4: most energy and most time for parenting, and maybe that

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Speaker 4: was just the natural yin and yang of the of

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Speaker 4: a marriage and a relationship that I felt.

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Speaker 5: Like you were not gone.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you were not able to be there, and so

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Speaker 4: I needed to be there more and make up for

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Speaker 4: it or whatever. You know, It's just a hard thing

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Speaker 4: for me to understand having not gone through it. And

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Speaker 4: then those episodes really put that into perspective that really

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Speaker 4: helped me out a lot.

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Speaker 1: I had had other friends that were pregnant during the

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Speaker 1: pandemic alongside with me, and they had all told me

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Speaker 1: that once the baby was here, that their anxiety and

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Speaker 1: fears diminished basically down to zero. And that's what I

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Speaker 1: was hoping for that I just had to make it

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Speaker 1: across the finish s line to bringing or here, And

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Speaker 1: what I slowly over the next four to six weeks

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Speaker 1: realized after Vera had been here was that my experience

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Speaker 1: took a one to eighty from my friend's experiences, and

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Speaker 1: my anxiety and depression got worse instead of better. And

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Speaker 1: that's when we knew I had to get more help.

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Speaker 1: And Rebecca again was one of my first texts and

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Speaker 1: jumped in, giving me a plethora of other moms who

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Speaker 1: had been diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety, who were

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Speaker 1: on medication or not on medication, or had been doing

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Speaker 1: different things, so that I had other moms who were

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Speaker 1: ahead of me that I could talk to and just

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Speaker 1: ahead of you, like their measures just kicked in a

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Speaker 1: week hire two weeks, Rebecca being like, here are all

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Speaker 1: the moms I know that have been diagnosed postcard impression,

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Speaker 1: who are on zoloft, who are breastfeeding who, And I'm

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Speaker 1: going to put you in touch with them so you

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Speaker 1: can ask them a billion questions about their experience and

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And so really you've been our dula

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Speaker 1: for life. And as you can tell, I think you

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Speaker 1: can both attest since getting help and via being here,

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Speaker 1: I am doing much better.

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Speaker 3: What do you think at them?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, I would think that postpartum depression. Anyone

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Speaker 1: who's listening to this podcast. Not only was Katie's Crib

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Speaker 1: so instrumental in helping us personally parent and I hope

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Speaker 1: it's helped you all listening, but I'm really proud of

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Speaker 1: some of the work that I did and that we

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Speaker 1: all did together, and it definitely falls in the one

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Speaker 1: example of that is the postpartum depression episodes, and I

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Speaker 1: hope that it just provided women with some comfort.

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Speaker 3: And I know it has.

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Speaker 4: We walk on the street all the time and women

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Speaker 4: come up to you and they thank you for a

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Speaker 4: very specific episode. Think it's so funny, but you never

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Speaker 4: know what they're gonna which episode they're going to bring up,

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Speaker 4: or what they're going to say they're going through. For

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Speaker 4: those listening, Katie has this uncanny sort of personality trait

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Speaker 4: where strangers just open up to her in the most

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Speaker 4: personal ways. Right off the bat, I'm talking and somebody

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Speaker 4: next there on the plane is going to be talking

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Speaker 4: to her about her menstrual cycle before we take off.

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Speaker 1: It's because I just asked questions and I don't think

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Speaker 1: people get asked questions from someone that actually is listening.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's.

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Speaker 1: What you do, though I don't ask you questions or

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Speaker 1: listen to you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, when does that happen? That's why I come

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Speaker 3: on Katie's.

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Speaker 1: Crib, Yes, because I'll give you way more attention on here.

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Speaker 3: Ah, this is the best. What else do you want

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Speaker 3: to talk about?

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Speaker 1: The other thing? I was super proud of? So the

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Speaker 1: postpartum depression anxiety journey sucked, absolutely sucked, and I hope

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Speaker 1: and was awful and scary and brought me to my

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Speaker 1: fucking knees and is the worst I've ever felt, the

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Speaker 1: most afraid I've ever been. I do look back on

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Speaker 1: it and I don't even feel like that person. And

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Speaker 1: you all really went through that journey with me of

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Speaker 1: learning about it, going on metacation, being able to get

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Speaker 1: through it and get back to work and get back

438
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 1: to enjoying parenting, because good lord, I probably should have

439
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 1: been on medication my entire pregnancy with via in COVID

440
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: because I look back and I was such a shell

441
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 1: of a parent. I really was not available during that time.

442
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 1: But because of you all, and because of the podcasts,

443
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 1: and thank god, the access to the doctors and psychiatrists

444
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 1: and therapists that I had access to, and my husband

445
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,439
Speaker 1: texting my friends saying that something's up, something's wrong.

446
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that was because we had We had done

447
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 4: the episode in between now Be and Via, so I

448
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 4: kind of knew exactly what was happening when it was happening,

449
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 4: and I immediately called I believe episode threes guts. I

450
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 4: called her immediately and I was like, Katie's struggling, and uh,

451
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 4: you know, tell me.

452
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 3: What to do here.

453
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 1: Oh, this is why an I'm sure it was the

454
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 1: greatest husband in the entire world, which is what I

455
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,479
Speaker 1: tell people and what we learned from like Alissa Berlin,

456
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: that not only should there be a birth plan, but

457
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 1: there should be a post birth plan, which is at

458
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: about the three week mark to the four week mark.

459
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: If your partner, mother, spouse, best friend is looking at

460
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 1: you and they don't recognize who they see, and the

461
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,360
Speaker 1: emotional ups and downs that are more the post part

462
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: and blues, which are very common, but if that isn't

463
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 1: shifting towards you're just crying all day, all night for

464
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: no reason, having anxiety attacks that are disproportionate to what's

465
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 1: going on. And you're not yourself. I think the post

466
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: birth plan for your partners and caretakers is to say, Hey,

467
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 1: before I give birth this baby, I just want to

468
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: have a conversation with you that if I don't look

469
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,479
Speaker 1: like myself at week three or four and I'm not

470
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 1: acting like myself, can you call someone to help me?

471
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: Or let's just make a list of therapists numbers to

472
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: have on hand.

473
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 13: That three week mark. If there's still stuff going on,

474
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 13: we've seguyed out of the baby blue and we've segued

475
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 13: into something bigger. Into those PMTs, so pery natal mood

476
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 13: and anxiety disorders pery natals from conception through that first

477
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 13: year of life, and that's usually that time period that

478
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 13: we're looking at. And like we said, mood and anxiety disorders,

479
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 13: it's depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, which I probably see

480
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 13: the most of.

481
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, what does that look like? What are the

482
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,719
Speaker 1: symptoms of that? You know?

483
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 13: So it's that combination of the obsession, this intrusive thought

484
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 13: that's just sticky and won't go away, and then a

485
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 13: compulsion or a behavior you know, either mental or you know,

486
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,919
Speaker 13: something in actuality that we do to alleviate that anxiety.

487
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 13: So we all have intrusive thoughts in our lives, right,

488
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 13: we all have those, you know, weird thoughts of like, gosh,

489
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 13: what would happen if like the hatch on a plane

490
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 13: opens up? Absolutely and you're like, Okay, that was weird.

491
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 13: Someone who struggles with OCD, it's like there's chewing gum

492
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 13: stuck to the end of that thought and they can't

493
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 13: seem to shake it. And the more it lingers, the

494
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 13: more it starts to build up this anxiety.

495
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 1: What do people do when they see that we've made

496
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: it over the three week mark and we're getting worse

497
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: or we're not getting any better.

498
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 13: And that's where your professional help comes in. Psychotherapy is

499
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 13: huge medication when you know the right time in the

500
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 13: right place.

501
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: Is awesome, absolutely and a huge.

502
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 13: Part of the picture. And again, here's one of those

503
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 13: things where there's so much stigma. But unless you're in

504
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 13: your that persons.

505
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: Shoes, no judgment, none, because no one.

506
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 13: Should struggle or suffer when they have a baby.

507
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 4: That leads you back to like it takes a village episode.

508
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 4: I didn't fully appreciate the value in that, and now,

509
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 4: especially as the kids get a little bit older. I

510
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 4: always felt like when they were like babies, it was

511
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 4: a little bit more manageable. Now it's like there's a

512
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 4: Friday night comes along and I am exhausted in the

513
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 4: week and the kit and then like our friends Jackie

514
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 4: and Jason will invite us over for like a Friday

515
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 4: night dinner with a bunch of kids.

516
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 1: And the village, Thank you God.

517
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 3: And it's I couldn't do it without that kind of stuff.

518
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: I know, you literally hear Hallelujah, like coming from the heavens.

519
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 1: Besides the postpartum depression work, I think the other work

520
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: that I'm so proud of on Katie's Crib that I

521
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: think has helped us and we haven't even started to

522
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: really see how it's going to help us, was when

523
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: George Floyd was murdered and was talking a lot to

524
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 1: Shonda Rhymes about how Katie's Crib can be used as

525
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,959
Speaker 1: a platform to get moms the information on how to

526
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: be an anti racist parent, how do we get better,

527
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 1: how do we give our children a better sense of vocabulary,

528
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: how to start with books, how to have conversations about race.

529
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 4: And that reminds me of like the idea of having

530
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 4: not having one hundred minute conversation, but having one hundred

531
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,879
Speaker 4: one minute conversations.

532
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 5: That's it.

533
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 3: It's got to be a part of your life.

534
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: And you take any opportunity you can. It's such an

535
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: opportunity I see as learning moments when we're at a

536
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: let's say we're at lunch, right, Albi's done this before,

537
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 1: and he'll be like when he was little, he'd be like, Mommy,

538
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 1: why is that person skin black? Or something like that,

539
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 1: why does that person have a mole? Before all the

540
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 1: work we did on Katie's Crib about that, I would

541
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,479
Speaker 1: have absolutely done what my parents did, which is sh

542
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: like we don't talk about like that's rude, sweep it

543
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: under the yeah stupid shit like yeah bad. And now

544
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 1: thank god for Beverly Tatum who came on the podcast

545
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,640
Speaker 1: and all the oh my god, she wrote the book

546
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 1: why are all the black kids sitting at the same

547
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: table in the cafeteria? It's unfucking believable.

548
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 12: There are things that you can observe and point out

549
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 12: to help your child think critically about those questions and

550
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 12: those conversations, not just one but over time, help them

551
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 12: to ask the question, well, who is missing from this picture?

552
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 12: You know? Why is this happening in this way? And

553
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 12: then what could we do about it?

554
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 1: I really am so encouraged by everyone saying, or a

555
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: lot of people saying, it's okay if you mess up

556
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: or you're stumbling at first.

557
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,719
Speaker 12: And that is really something that's important to remember. You

558
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 12: can always come back and say, you know, I was

559
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 12: thinking about that conversation we had yesterday and I said this,

560
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,239
Speaker 12: but you know, I've been thinking more about it, and

561
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 12: what I really meant was that, so let me tell

562
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 12: you more about that.

563
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: Right, everyone should go back and listen to these episodes

564
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: because they should be learned and relearned and heard often

565
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,719
Speaker 1: and read those books. But because people have been doing

566
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: work on this stuff for a million years, and I

567
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: was just my first foray was thankfully on this podcast,

568
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: but knowing to say to alb Oh that that person

569
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 1: has black skin, look at this person has this, and

570
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: I would do it proudly like wow, I'm really I

571
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 1: get to take advantage of this moment versus be embarrassed

572
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: or think that I'm doing something wrong or think that

573
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: he's wrong, like he's curious about that people look different.

574
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: And and it was all because of Beverly being on

575
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: the podcast that I even knew how to respond.

576
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 3: There's also the idea that that she brought up.

577
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 4: I think that you know that it's okay to say, oh,

578
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 4: that's a really interesting question. I don't know the answer

579
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 4: to that. Let's maybe you and I go look up

580
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 4: what the answer.

581
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 3: Is to that.

582
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: You know, that's Sasha Sagan's episode.

583
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, what.

584
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: Did they say when you said to them? Is their God? Well,

585
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: because I am scared, like, I'm not gonna lie, like

586
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 1: when Albi is old enough to be like, is there one?

587
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 1: Like I still I don't know when I don't know

588
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: what I'm going to say?

589
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 7: Well, but I think that's the answer.

590
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 5: Is I mean, if this is how you feel.

591
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: Obviously, if you're devoutly religious, of.

592
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: Course go you know, of course say what you believe.

593
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 7: But if you're skeptical or I think I don't know,

594
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 7: is a totally acceptable answer.

595
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 4: There's so much value in a teaching your kid that

596
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 4: it's okay not to know the answer. It's great, and

597
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 4: teaching your kid how to then go about finding out

598
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 4: that answer instead of just making up something that maybe

599
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 4: we were taught when we.

600
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: Were kids, or feeling like because I'm the parent, I

601
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 1: should know the answers.

602
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 3: I know this to make it up.

603
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: And if your kid asks you something about race, something

604
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: that's difficult, god, death, sex, anything and you don't know,

605
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: rather than make some shit up, it's better for you

606
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: to be like, you know what, that's a great question.

607
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 1: I don't know the answer one hundred percent. I'm going

608
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 1: to go find out my answer and I'll come back

609
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: to you. And days later, after you've called your village,

610
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: after you've read some blurbs online from experts that you

611
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 1: highly respect, after you've listened to episodes of Katie's Crib,

612
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: you come back to your kid and you say, hey,

613
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: you remember when you asked me this. I actually did

614
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: some research and my answer is this. I was not

615
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: given a vocabulary to talk about race growing up because

616
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 1: my parents didn't talk about it. Similarly, sex either. They

617
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 1: didn't talk about books that are developmentally appropriate for the age.

618
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: Is a great way in to know how to talk

619
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: about it, do you know what I mean? And we've

620
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: done tons of episodes with links to books of what

621
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: you could read on those topics. Think you talking about

622
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: sex though? In one hundred minute conversations. I always think

623
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: about you and your dad Adam and how much he fucked.

624
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 4: Instead of one hundred minute conversation or one hundred and

625
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 4: one minute conversations, it was just one one minute conversation.

626
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: Tell the story about sex. Your parents never talked to

627
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: you about sex before this one minute?

628
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 4: I don't believe so. No, it was literally it wasn't

629
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 4: even a minute. It was just it was a couple

630
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 4: sentences right as we were getting off the exit of

631
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 4: four ninety five dropping me off at my dorm freshman year.

632
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 3: It was a little late.

633
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: Ten years old. You're being dropped off at you to

634
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 1: presee your Maryland. Your dad's driving you from Philadelphia to Maryland.

635
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 1: You're literally pulling off the exit, and what does he say?

636
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 4: You know, to use protection? Right, Yep, got it done.

637
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 4: Let's talk about what we're doing for lunch.

638
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 12: Was so on.

639
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: That was the extent.

640
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 3: That is not okay, but tis credit though.

641
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 4: I I took a lot of supplemental sexual education outside

642
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 4: of school. Wow, Like my synagogue had stuff about AIDS

643
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 4: and health these health stuff. There was a lot of stuff.

644
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 4: I became like a youth AIDS expert.

645
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: On that's awesome.

646
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 3: I know that, Yes, I knew what was.

647
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: Up when our kids are early bloomers, especially our daughter.

648
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 1: We're going to come back on this podcast. It's going

649
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 1: to be called Katie's Crib the teen Years, and Adam

650
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: is going to be a fucking disaster area. Like he

651
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: looks at the teens walking around La, the girls who

652
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: are like twelve years old wearing just it's I always

653
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: ask Katie.

654
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 4: I'm like, is that girl twelve or forty seven? Like

655
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 4: I have no, I don't understand these kids. Wait, Katie, Yes,

656
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 4: this was one that I thought was really instrumental for you.

657
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 4: Oh what remember Sfali?

658
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, huge.

659
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 4: She said that you get the kid that is going

660
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 4: to teach you the most.

661
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: This was the one book that Kerrie Washington told me

662
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: to read, which I read a lot of it. I

663
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 1: actually read a lot of it.

664
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 3: You just always said wow, like the kids like Albi does.

665
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 3: It's like the one.

666
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 4: Thing I can't handle is what he does, or the

667
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 4: one thing I don't want to talk about is what

668
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 4: he wants to talk about right now. And she always

669
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 4: says that you get the kid that is going to

670
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 4: teach you the most about life, and maybe they're actually

671
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 4: going to like help you round out the person that

672
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 4: you are.

673
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: It's supposed to bring you to the next level. I mean,

674
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: if you want to go conscious of conscious that the

675
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: life's lessons are can get you so far, and you're

676
00:34:55,239 --> 00:35:02,399
Speaker 1: gifted a child who Albi has completely rocked me human being,

677
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: and I'm convinced that this is Vera later for you.

678
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: Do you think that's good to be true? Because Albi

679
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 1: doesn't bring you what does to you what he does

680
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: to me?

681
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh for sure.

682
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: But I think Vera will be the child to get

683
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: you to your next level of consciousness in her entire

684
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 1: about nine years old to sixteen.

685
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,320
Speaker 3: Yes, I agree. I know already already.

686
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,280
Speaker 1: Explain why and why Vera is your greatest challenge.

687
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 4: Alby and I just have such a shorthand for me.

688
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 4: It's so easy to sort of parent him, teach him

689
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 4: and talk him, talk him in circles until he's doing

690
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 4: what he thinks that he's decided, but it's really what

691
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 4: I need him to do, like that kind of stuff

692
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 4: with Albion.

693
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: Oh, I am fucking terrible. When I realized that we

694
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: had a child that you had to do reverse psychology on,

695
00:35:56,640 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: I was like, I am fucked, Like I cannot, but

696
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,520
Speaker 1: that is not where I go instinctually it is not.

697
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 4: But you also say you, I mean, this is something

698
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 4: that I say to you all the time. You say

699
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 4: I cannot do this. I not not, not as if

700
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 4: it's like a mantra.

701
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 3: Really you can do A good point.

702
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: He's almost six, and I can honestly say at the

703
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: time of the recording of this podcast that I am

704
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: so proud and excited and interested in the person he

705
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: is and who he's becoming.

706
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 3: Totally.

707
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, But at three I was not well about this

708
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 1: whole thing. I was, what do you think animals that faith?

709
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 3: I don't know. Not well, I don't know mom is there.

710
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 3: We're just a very different worlds.

711
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 1: Why extrapolate?

712
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 4: I don't know what you mean by not well with it?

713
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 4: Like it's hard, but I don't like it, doesn't. I

714
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 4: just think that there's such a different emotional component to

715
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 4: being a mom.

716
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:08,479
Speaker 3: And being a dad, Like.

717
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 4: It's very easy for me to compartmentalize, like disciplining Albee

718
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:15,919
Speaker 4: and then moving on with my debt.

719
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 3: It's not like crushing me to my soul.

720
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 1: It crushes me to my soul. But that might just

721
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 1: be me. Okay, how has this podcast strengthened our relationship

722
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: as a couple.

723
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,359
Speaker 4: I think one thing that's done is taken away obstacles.

724
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 4: There's so many things that as a couple we can

725
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 4: be tripping over and causing conflict when it comes to parenting.

726
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 4: But having just this wealth of knowledge coming out of

727
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 4: Katie's Crib has really helped smooth things out. We didn't

728
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 4: hit roadbumps that we probably would have if we hadn't

729
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 4: been listening to these experts.

730
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. So everybody listening. Tell your friends if

731
00:37:56,080 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: you want to save your relationship, listens to Katie's Crib,

732
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 1: because what these experts say make parenting easier, which makes

733
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: being in your relationship easier.

734
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 3: Exactly.

735
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: Okay, could you want to bring an Albi first or

736
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: Via first? Albi will flip out if Vera goes first.

737
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 3: Okay, let me go get them.

738
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:33,240
Speaker 1: Okay, thanks, baby, my god, I'm so sorry. In advance.

739
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 1: There's no telling what he will say. There is just

740
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 1: no telling. He's quite fair. Oh my, I gotta take

741
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: a picture of this. I'm like emotional right now. My

742
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: son and my husband are looking through the camera at me,

743
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,320
Speaker 1: and they're in the other room in the house. Hi Albi, hi, elmmy,

744
00:38:55,800 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 1: Hi sweetie, I'm really happy to see you. Can you

745
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 1: tell us how old are you?

746
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:04,879
Speaker 2: Five and three quarters?

747
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 5: Wow?

748
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 1: And what is your favorite thing to do? Right now?

749
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 2: Be a ninja?

750
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 4: Oh?

751
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you?

752
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,240
Speaker 2: I'm real ninja?

753
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: You are a real ninja? Is that what you want

754
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: to be when you grow up?

755
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:20,280
Speaker 2: Already?

756
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:22,879
Speaker 1: Of course you're all right.

757
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 2: I would team all my headquarters over there.

758
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,839
Speaker 1: At your headquarters over there? I see Albi. Can you

759
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: tell our listeners what is it like having me as

760
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: a mom?

761
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 2: Very good?

762
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 1: It is like the best. You're gonna make me cry?

763
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 1: What's your favorite thing to do with me?

764
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 2: Be you a few? Play?

765
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: What do you like to play together?

766
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,839
Speaker 2: I really like to play even more with you on

767
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 2: Saturdays and Sundays where I don't have to go to school.

768
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what is it that we play?

769
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 2: You played games?

770
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 1: What kind of game? Ms Land? Oh yeah, we've played

771
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: candy Land a lot? Okay, question for you? Do I

772
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: yell at you a lot?

773
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 2: Yes?

774
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 8: What I do?

775
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 13: Not?

776
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 8: Yes?

777
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 2: You do?

778
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,320
Speaker 1: Do I put you in timeouts a lot?

779
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 5: Oh?

780
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,799
Speaker 1: My goodness, that is not true. You haven't been in

781
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,280
Speaker 1: a timeout? And how many years.

782
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:26,800
Speaker 2: You gave me? So many times? You give me some timeouts?

783
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,800
Speaker 2: But daddy game is so many when.

784
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: I was free, okay for listeners, Just to clarify, I

785
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: really think in total, Albi's been in three to five

786
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 1: timeouts in his entire life, and not one since he

787
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,799
Speaker 1: was three, and he's currently five and three quarters. I

788
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 1: love you, honey, Oh, five and three quarders. Yeah, you're

789
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 1: five and three quarters.

790
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:45,919
Speaker 2: You said free?

791
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 1: And can you tell me? What's the game we play

792
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 1: at dinner? What are the questions? We go around the

793
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:55,959
Speaker 1: dinner table and ask please, We asked questions like.

794
00:40:55,880 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 2: What are you what are you grateful for? Are you

795
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 2: scared about? What are you anything about?

796
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 1: What was the hardest part of your day? What was

797
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 1: the best part of your day? What's your favorite book

798
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: to read?

799
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 2: My favorite book to read gotta be my Pokemon book.

800
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, we love Pokemon. We're super into Pokemon. Okay, who's stricter?

801
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 1: Me or Daddy?

802
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 2: Both? Because if you say that, I don't want to

803
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:34,359
Speaker 2: make anyone not because it's like, who do I like more?

804
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,840
Speaker 2: Daddy or mommy? I don't want I don't want to

805
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 2: get mad I both.

806
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 1: Oh, I understand why you said that. That makes sense.

807
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: You love me and daddy and some days you love

808
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: me more and some days you love daddy more, but

809
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: you love us both so much like I.

810
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,479
Speaker 2: Don't like any I don't love any of you more

811
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 2: any day. Both of you the same every day.

812
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 1: Oh, I understand. So it's like how I love you

813
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: and Vera the same the most possible, every day, all day.

814
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: That's so kind of you, baby. What else do you

815
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 1: want to say to all the listeners listening?

816
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 2: The two ninja questions?

817
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 12: Oh?

818
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, monster one? And being in ninja?

819
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 1: Okay, okay? How does it feel being a ninja?

820
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 2: Very good?

821
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 4: Oh?

822
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good? And what did you want me to

823
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 1: ask you about monsters.

824
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 2: If you're afraid of if?

825
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,240
Speaker 1: Like, are you afraid of monsters? Albie?

826
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 2: No, I'm alb Shapiro. They were afraid of me.

827
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: Oh I like that answer. What's your favorite joke to tell?

828
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 3: I don't have one?

829
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: I know. Do you remember we used to do those

830
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 1: joke books and you had it memorized backwards and forwards.

831
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 1: We got to pull that back out at night? Who's there?

832
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 2: Chicken?

833
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 1: Chicken?

834
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 2: Who chicken? Because I'm an animal?

835
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 1: Good one, buddy? Can you tell me are you having

836
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 1: feelings about starting kindergarten?

837
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 2: No?

838
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 1: Just tell me about it.

839
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,359
Speaker 2: But I said I'm going to be nervous.

840
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: But you're not nervous. What are you feeling about kindergarten?

841
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 1: What are the feelings you have about it?

842
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 2: If I had to go to camp where to like

843
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 2: the sleep camp, I'll be nervous because I do not want.

844
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 1: To sleep the No, you're you do not have to

845
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: go to sleep boy camp now or ever. If you

846
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 1: don't want to. We will just continue that conversation as

847
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 1: you get older, and we'll make a decision whatever you

848
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: feel comfortable with. Are you excited about kindergarten?

849
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 2: Yes?

850
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,240
Speaker 1: What are you excited about?

851
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 2: I don't even know what's there.

852
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 1: We saw one time they had a lego class. They

853
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:56,720
Speaker 1: have a robotics class, the Lego one. God, we dropped

854
00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 1: our headphones. Okay, back guys, Okay, I'll be We have

855
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,240
Speaker 1: to interview Vera now. But is there any other last

856
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,439
Speaker 1: things you want to tell me or Daddy or any

857
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 1: of our listeners.

858
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:18,320
Speaker 2: Fair being, I'm grateful for being a ninja and my family.

859
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: I love it. Say peace out, love you. Okay, Now

860
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: let's get Via and she's gonna say two words. You

861
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: could be with me.

862
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 3: Okay, but we gotta.

863
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 2: More questions.

864
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 1: We'll ask you more questions later, tell them to come

865
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: over here.

866
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 3: Go get Via and go see out of mommy in

867
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 3: her office.

868
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:44,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, God, now Vera's coming in the cloth and okay,

869
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 1: you know what, I'll put her right here out of

870
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: It's all right, Okay. Can I have some room for

871
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: Vera to be in the mic?

872
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 13: Oh?

873
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: No, baby girl, come here, sweetie. Okay, okay, ready, here

874
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: we go. Okay, we're here. We're here.

875
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 3: We're not playing around.

876
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: Now, Okay, Vera? Can I ask you a few questions?

877
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 13: What?

878
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:13,919
Speaker 1: Okay? What's your name?

879
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 6: Vera?

880
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: How old are you? Are you too? You see, daddy?

881
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 1: How old are you?

882
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 5: Very?

883
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 3: Daddy?

884
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 1: And Vera?

885
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 3: Hi? Vera?

886
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: Vera? How old are you too? Yeah? You're too. Can

887
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: you tell me what was the hardest part of your

888
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 1: day so far? It's really early in the morning. What

889
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: was the hardest part of your day? I twinkle? Okay,

890
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: what's the scariest part of your day? Daddy? What do

891
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 1: you want to talk about? You want to sing a song?

892
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:54,439
Speaker 7: Yeah?

893
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,479
Speaker 1: Oh, she's moving her tongue around because she's real psyched

894
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,959
Speaker 1: that she can see her own face. Sing me a song?

895
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 2: Take how? Why? What?

896
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,359
Speaker 13: What do you.

897
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 3: A nice ending? Wow?

898
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 1: Is there any other song you want to sing? No,

899
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 1: who is your best friend? Is it Albie? How am

900
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 1: I doing as a mom?

901
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 2: Abby?

902
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 1: Yeah? Albi is going to go to school? Do you

903
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 1: want to go to school with him? You can just

904
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 1: drop him off. You don't have to go to school today.

905
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 2: Go daddy.

906
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: You want to go to daddy?

907
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 2: Mommy?

908
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 5: Oh?

909
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 1: You want mommy mommy? Okay, yeah, we're gonna go play.

910
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 1: Do you want to go to the park? Wait? Can

911
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 1: you tell me something? How am I doing as a mommy?

912
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: You want to go to the park. Okay, we're gonna

913
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,919
Speaker 1: go to the park. But wait, how am I doing

914
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 1: as a mommy? Okay? Do you want to say bye bye?

915
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,320
Speaker 2: Bye bye?

916
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 4: Babby?

917
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,320
Speaker 3: She said, bye bye? I love you, I love you.

918
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: Great job in wrapping up up key. The first thing

919
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: I want to say is a huge takeaway of mine.

920
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: I mean, there are so many and Adam, thank you

921
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 1: so much for coming on the podcast say and reminding

922
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: us about so much of the stuff we've done that

923
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 1: has helped us, and I hope has helped all of you.

924
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 1: I always here it's not our job to mold them.

925
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 1: We unfold them. And I don't even know if anyone

926
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 1: said that on the podcast. I don't know where I

927
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 1: picked that up, but I feel a great sense of

928
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 1: surrender and release in parenting when I know that it's

929
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: not my job to make I'm a person.

930
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 3: It's already, it's in there already.

931
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 1: Of course, it's our job to teach them to be

932
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: kind and to teach them manners, and to teach them

933
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 1: about saving the planet and helping people and being better

934
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: than we've all been. Of course, but the pressure is

935
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 1: really that's a lot of pressure, but it makes me

936
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: feel like there's less pressure in that it's not my

937
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: job to sign them up for a thousand things, to

938
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 1: have them be perfect all the time and say the

939
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,879
Speaker 1: right things or wear the right clothes or make sure

940
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: that they're like succeeding every single day. It's just our

941
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: job to love them and support them for who they are.

942
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: And it just makes me feel like I'm gripping the

943
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 1: steering wheel of parenthood far less tightly. And that's been

944
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 1: a massive relief. That's sort of a big overall takeaway

945
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 1: that I've gotten from six seasons of this show. Yeah,

946
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 1: I think I would be even more anxious and even

947
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,439
Speaker 1: more controlling, if you can believe it.

948
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 3: Okay, no, that's huge. That's huge.

949
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 1: In wrapping up, how do you think I'm doing as

950
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: a mom?

951
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:12,919
Speaker 3: Killing it?

952
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 8: Do?

953
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 1: Really?

954
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 3: Of course this place would fall apart without you. Well,

955
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:23,799
Speaker 3: we both have.

956
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 4: Our own strengths when it comes to parenting. We both

957
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 4: have our own strong points during the actual course of

958
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 4: a day, and I think that those things are going

959
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 4: to change a lot as the kids get older. But

960
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 4: there are a lot of things that you do that

961
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 4: there's no fucking way I could do that. You create

962
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 4: an amazing community for the kids and of other parents

963
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 4: and moms, and you've been super helpful inside and outside

964
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 4: of Katie's Crib to moms everywhere, and I think that's

965
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 4: also come back to us in a lot of amazing

966
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:04,399
Speaker 4: ways over the past five and a half years. I'm

967
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 4: so glad that we could have this podcast for the

968
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 4: first five years of ALBI, in the first two years

969
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,919
Speaker 4: of your's life. It's just it was an amazing thing

970
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 4: for us to go through, and I hope that the

971
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 4: listeners felt the same way about their own journeys and parenting.

972
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 1: Adam Shapiro, Man, Am I lucky. You're a great.

973
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 3: Dad, You're a great mom. Katie.

974
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:33,760
Speaker 1: We're doing okay. We're gonna work. This is happening, Adam,

975
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: thank you for being my final guest. Obviously, in so

976
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 1: many ways, I couldn't do any of this without you.

977
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 3: Katie Crap Baby.

978
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 1: We love you all so much. I'm so thankful to

979
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,319
Speaker 1: all of our listeners, all the fans, every mom who

980
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 1: stops me on the street and sobs in my arms.

981
00:50:55,880 --> 00:50:58,280
Speaker 1: I've got you. I'm here for you. I will continue

982
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 1: to be here for you. There are some things in

983
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 1: the work, so don't hold your breath. There's exciting stuff coming.

984
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 4: Katie's Big Girl Bed. Katie's Big Girl Bed could be

985
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 4: the podcast for the children.

986
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. And now I'm not going to cry. I'm

987
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 1: not going to cry. But this is so momentous.

988
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 4: Is that the word that's very momentous occasions?

989
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 3: I can't believe.

990
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 5: I'm here for it.

991
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 1: Stay tuned for more information. You can always find me

992
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 1: on the socials. I want to hear from you always,

993
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,720
Speaker 1: and I just want to say again, from the bottom

994
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 1: of my heart, thank you. Katie's Grim is a production

995
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 1: of Shondaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts

996
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 1: from Shondaland Audio, visit the iheartradi you app, Apple podcasts,

997
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.