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Speaker 1: All right, we have a bit of an announcement here,

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Speaker 1: joe you want to talk about this T shirt design contests.

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Speaker 1: I do open submission to anybody listening or a friend

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Speaker 1: of a friend pass it along. You got a design

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Speaker 1: you want to make for a T shirt, something that

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Speaker 1: you've heard on the show, that you want to live

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Speaker 1: in perpetuity in an image. Will send it to your

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Speaker 1: name here at Alchemy. This dot com submissions will be

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Speaker 1: done by November, and then our Patreon members are going

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Speaker 1: to be able to vote on which design they like

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Speaker 1: the best, and that one's gonna get put on a shirt. Wait, Joey,

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Speaker 1: does that mean we'll have shirts available just in time

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Speaker 1: for the holidays. Oh my gosh, that's an amazing idea.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. So and James, you're making sure

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Speaker 1: that we have a shirt available at where is it

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Speaker 1: going to be like you're gonna be located. You can

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Speaker 1: get it at the Patreon page and we'll get a

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Speaker 1: link up that will be uh put in all the

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Speaker 1: different places. Okay, so submit your designs for a new shirt.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do as many as we approve in love,

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Speaker 1: and then the Patreon members will weigh in and vote

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Speaker 1: as well there, votes will cast along with ours and

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Speaker 1: we'll pick ourselves some brilliant artists. Welcome back another episode

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Speaker 1: of Alchemy. This I'm your host, Kevin Poll. What's that? Yes? Back, Kevin?

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Speaker 1: What's that now? You? Agendum? I put the body in

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Speaker 1: the trunk because of the smell. But I digress. Let's

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Speaker 1: meet our chemists, shall we? In no particular order? Please

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Speaker 1: say hello to Vanessa Ragland Venetia. What was your favorite

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Speaker 1: song when you were sweet sixteen? It was the Judy

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Speaker 1: Garland Carnegie Hall. Wow, the whole album of that performance.

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Speaker 1: I was very cool and hung up with all the

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Speaker 1: cool kids. Clearly very very progressive. Yes, look Satan in

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Speaker 1: the eyes and ask him why. It's Joey Greer time.

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Speaker 1: Jesus Joseph, Will you Mary? What happened to your first car? Uh?

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Speaker 1: It was sold? My favorite story in the history of

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Speaker 1: my life. That was it. It was sold. Put a catalan.

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Speaker 1: James Heeney just walked in. Jamie hinkel Heen. What's the

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Speaker 1: first thing you do most morning? I will preheat the oven.

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Speaker 1: That's the first thing. Yeah, And then I go before you,

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Speaker 1: what do you make? Well? Make browns to What I

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Speaker 1: want to do is I most morning you make hash

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Speaker 1: brown almost you are the perfect kissing for you. I

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Speaker 1: preheat the oven and I put the snooze. None of

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Speaker 1: us know this about you. I'm sure Joey knows this

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Speaker 1: about this, and I thought we all knew that. At

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Speaker 1: hash Brown's every morning in the first business of brand alright,

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Speaker 1: there are the longest carton that I can get it

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Speaker 1: smart and final of the cheapest Browns. You've almost killed

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Speaker 1: Doug Bain. Think it was that weird. So you get up,

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Speaker 1: preheat the oven, go back to bed. Then I put

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Speaker 1: him in for fifteen minut to take a shower, and

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Speaker 1: then I put the sausage in with it, and then

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Speaker 1: I make a whole breakfast. Did your wife partake? She

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Speaker 1: eats the breakfast. You know, I've gotta dig deep. Amazing,

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Speaker 1: How can we be invited to the breakfast? Absolutely, the longest, cheapest.

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Speaker 1: They're not bad because you get a cart and sometimes

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Speaker 1: you can get like twelve of them, but I get

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Speaker 1: like twenty of them. No, No, this's great. Cut the

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Speaker 1: crap people because Craig is not here. Chris Avarando Alva,

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Speaker 1: don't Oh, what's the first rule of handsome Club? Uh?

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Speaker 1: I don't know that's right. That's the first rule and last.

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Speaker 1: But may all your dreams turn to dung. If you

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Speaker 1: think him leaves, it's Mark Gagliardi, Marky and or Mark.

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Speaker 1: Since you'll be leaving a soon to return to your

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Speaker 1: work on the hit show Fire and Ice. What's the

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Speaker 1: first thing you'll do once you get through customs in Montreal?

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Speaker 1: The first thing I always do when I get through

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Speaker 1: customs in Montreal. Yeah, I prehate the oven. Then they

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Speaker 1: asked me all the questions by the time I get through.

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Speaker 1: Then I put the hash Browns in. Then they stamped

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Speaker 1: my pass forward in the sausage. Then the sausage. Okay,

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Speaker 1: then wake up your wife? And does your wife eat

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Speaker 1: the breakfast? Yes? She participates, just really quick. Do you

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Speaker 1: think other people do this? I thought every like my

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Speaker 1: grandparents did it. So I your hands. Your grandparents still

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Speaker 1: a little wake up, and so they taught you this? Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean I think I've just taught me, but I began.

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Speaker 1: You decided on your own. You know what, Today's the

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Speaker 1: first day the rest of my life, I'm gonna prehat

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Speaker 1: the oven. Do you ever deviate? No? Sure, sometimes say

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Speaker 1: to the time, Yeah, over easy, over easy, Yeah, why

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Speaker 1: do you go to sleep after you have an open plint.

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Speaker 1: It's fine, fifteen minutes of extra sleep, but you've already

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Speaker 1: gotten up. Like the point of this news is like

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Speaker 1: I don't want to get up yet. You'd be surprised.

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Speaker 1: How a small night, But this is the show. You

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Speaker 1: came to my house and you spend the night and

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Speaker 1: then in the morning. I didn't do that. Would you

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Speaker 1: be like, h I would do it for you, Chris,

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Speaker 1: if you for that long. It really is the grossest

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Speaker 1: description of any food. I'll make a video and send

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Speaker 1: it to Danny to put up. We're going to do

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Speaker 1: a monthly meet up. I should let folks know, uh

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Speaker 1: and starting this month in fact, and this is the

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Speaker 1: perfect sort of conversation. So please everyone remember that we

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Speaker 1: talked about I'm sorry that I knew about this and

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Speaker 1: thought it was normal, and what was your home life?

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Speaker 1: That's all good. I I also thought the Trader Joe's

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Speaker 1: House browns are pretty good. They're good, but they don't

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Speaker 1: they're not long squares or they just like the Trader

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Speaker 1: joe ones. But there's there's four times this long. You

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Speaker 1: get four packages? What potato is that long? I get

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Speaker 1: the longest narrowest brown. You guys are gonna feel silly

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Speaker 1: when you see a picture of these, because that's not what.

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Speaker 1: If I don't see it by tomorrow afternoon, something's unharribly wrong.

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Speaker 1: Let's get to our first scene. I should mention that

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Speaker 1: we would greatly appreciate if you could write a review

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Speaker 1: of the show in the next seventy one hours. That

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Speaker 1: would mean the world to us. All of today's scene

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Speaker 1: suggestions were gathered from our listener emails. If you'd like

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Speaker 1: to submit yours, please write to the podcast at your

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Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com and do yourselves

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Speaker 1: a favor and follow the new and fresh and exciting

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Speaker 1: Instagram for alchemy this, which is simply at alchemy This Alchemy.

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Speaker 1: That's all. Our first scene comes from Michael, who wrote

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Speaker 1: and in parentheses, please read this as Dr Nick from

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Speaker 1: The Simpsons. Hi, everybody, not even close. I'm feel free

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Speaker 1: to read the rest of this email in your own

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Speaker 1: normal voice. My name is Michael, and I really listening

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Speaker 1: to you guys, as you're also talented and funny and

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Speaker 1: beautiful and all that years. It's the best. I have

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Speaker 1: a request for a wacky scenario that I hope you

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Speaker 1: all enjoy your hoity toity englishman, a newlywed couple, a

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Speaker 1: stand up comedy impressions, and then obviously undercover cop are

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Speaker 1: in an escape room. I love you all, Michael. So

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Speaker 1: it's twenty minutes for a hundred dollars or a hundred

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Speaker 1: hours for two life in here? Hundred hours for what? Now?

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Speaker 1: You could be in here for a hundred dollars and

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Speaker 1: you you are, you're keeping logging this right? You have

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Speaker 1: records of this for tax purposes? Yeah, Elliott, let's stay

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Speaker 1: in for I just kind of wanted to private escape

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Speaker 1: print people watch. Can I ask a question? Please? Are

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Speaker 1: people really in here for a hundred hours? Is that

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Speaker 1: what happens? That's one of it's crazy you twenty minutes

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Speaker 1: are doing? Is there a maximum we could do? You

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Speaker 1: can re up on a hundred would up on hundred

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Speaker 1: million times? I mean a million times plus I'd have

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Speaker 1: to take you to another room, you know, so there's

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Speaker 1: more than one room, Christopher Wilkins here, is that what

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Speaker 1: you're saying? It's just this guy? This guy. Hey, I'm Larry.

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Speaker 1: That was really good, dude, I thank you, that's really good.

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Speaker 1: I got a couple more. I'm Bixie and um yes,

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Speaker 1: wedding ring. Oh, congratulation, wonderful. Where are you from? I'm

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Speaker 1: from London on holiday. The United States is wonderful. We

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Speaker 1: don't have escape rooms. That is it always a mix

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Speaker 1: him up? Like this way you get to make new friends.

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Speaker 1: I love him. I want to keep him. Can we

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Speaker 1: have him? I mean we should. We shouldn't take a

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Speaker 1: human being a kidding but you know, dotal yell at me.

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Speaker 1: I'm not yelling. My name is Fred Fred and Bixie

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Speaker 1: sorry it's it's Elliott, but I'm Mr Fred my last name.

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Speaker 1: Want to do the hundred hours or I think that

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Speaker 1: sounds right. I injuruced myself. Yeah, what is your name?

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Speaker 1: You're off? You're off? What what are your recovery? Congratulations?

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Speaker 1: Thank you for you. I mean I don't have to

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Speaker 1: put you on the same scape room. But right now

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Speaker 1: we only got one working, so I notice wonderful to

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Speaker 1: work together as a good fashion American team. Why do

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Speaker 1: you want to do this on your vacation? This seems

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm really just here to meet people. Apparently

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Speaker 1: with Larry over here, I could meet several people at once.

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Speaker 1: An okay, let me think, let me think, let me think, okay,

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Speaker 1: you are going to pretty good. Thank you, Pixie. Why

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Speaker 1: did you say, why would somebody not want to do

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Speaker 1: this on our vacation? This is our honeymoon. But we're together?

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Speaker 1: I mean he's alone. It is alone. I can hear

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Speaker 1: you both. I wasn't trying to hide it from me.

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Speaker 1: I was just a little surprised that it seems like

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Speaker 1: maybe the escape room wasn't as excited. Are you catching

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Speaker 1: his British accent? Excuse me, I don't think I caught

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Speaker 1: a British accent. I can said, Jon, why don't you

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Speaker 1: try Australia next? Please don't make me? Oh? Do it baby?

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Speaker 1: For me? I shouldn't. That was that was it? You know,

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Speaker 1: Here's here's a fun fact. There are actually rooms that

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Speaker 1: you can't escape out of. What do you mean in general?

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Speaker 1: Just saying that's one? I'm sorry to barge in again.

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Speaker 1: But the escape room is this guy get cleaned. So

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Speaker 1: we're just gonna have to be waiting in this waiting

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Speaker 1: room for a little bit. I'll be back. When does

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Speaker 1: it start? It's just well, I haven't I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you want twenty minutes or a hundred hours. Maybe

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Speaker 1: eternity a twenty minutes seems more appropriate than a hundred hours.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna get the whole experience. It was all right.

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Speaker 1: I would like to ask a question at this time,

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Speaker 1: this is it possible that we signed up for twenty

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Speaker 1: minutes and we need more than that? Who is that?

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Speaker 1: He sounds just like Robert Loga, Robert Losa. Oh, I

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Speaker 1: found some cheese in the street. This key ring, I

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Speaker 1: found this, mind, I wonder what they are. This is

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Speaker 1: we're here for the escape. Give me that get back

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Speaker 1: you're stealing, give me that stealing. I'm an escape This

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Speaker 1: is just a normal way room. This isn't the escape room.

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Speaker 1: Say find the key but inside? Yeah? What hold on?

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Speaker 1: What just happened to him? I don't know, it's actually

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Speaker 1: what happened. I was just trying to defend myself and

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Speaker 1: I accidentally h wait a second, wait what I'm not

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Speaker 1: a fighter. I just accidentally hit him in the Put

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Speaker 1: your hands against the wall, okay, put your hands against there,

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Speaker 1: against the wall. Who gives you the right to do this?

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Speaker 1: This is an escape room, right, yes, so we're trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out the clues, right. You know what I

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Speaker 1: could use right now is a detective. I don't mean

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Speaker 1: to bother anybody. I happened to notice you show for example,

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Speaker 1: you had your hands against the wall. Is that right?

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Speaker 1: I was so excited I did happen and this gentleman

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Speaker 1: over here had his hands on you in a thigh? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it was Can I ask what you were thinking

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Speaker 1: in that moment? I keep wondering if my wife's okay,

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Speaker 1: because she hasn't been breathing. She swallowed the key. Is

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Speaker 1: that what you wanted to here? Now? I act she's

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Speaker 1: not breathing. Could somebody please look, I don't know where

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Speaker 1: to turn off. Okay, they're not gonna go into the

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Speaker 1: guy damn escape room before we get there, all right,

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Speaker 1: Just just relax if they do, your asses grap just

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Speaker 1: I don't want to fight. I'm already trapped in a

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Speaker 1: box with you here, don't want to be trapped in

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Speaker 1: another bigger box with you. This my birthday, It is

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Speaker 1: your This is supposed to be your birthday. It is

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Speaker 1: your birthday, is supposed to feel like a birthday. So Sorge,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand why you want me to go into

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Speaker 1: coverage to the escape room, because that's shady ship going

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Speaker 1: on in this escape room. It just feels like you're

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Speaker 1: putting me out to dry, putting me out the pasture.

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Speaker 1: You know what, after that last stunt you pulled, you

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Speaker 1: think of the escape room is the safest place for

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Speaker 1: you if we can get you off the streets, Officer

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Speaker 1: hot head, the twenty minutes or a hundred hours, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna do it. Fine. I hope they picked a hundred hours, Larry.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry we had to bump you. What do you

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Speaker 1: mean on a tensif tin? No, no, no, no, I

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Speaker 1: got the guy from Jimmy Kimmel coming to see me. Well,

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Speaker 1: he's gonna see somebody else. I'm sorry. Does it even mean?

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Speaker 1: It means you're not going on tonight? Okay? Why we

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Speaker 1: got Jimmy Buffer going on? What Jimmy Buffett wants to

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Speaker 1: do a stand up? So did you break it to

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Speaker 1: him yet? Did you break it to him yet? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Did you? I'm not in on it. It's just a decision.

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Speaker 1: You can leave now, Linda. You're fine with Jimmy Buffa

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Speaker 1: taking my fifteen Larry? You know what, Larry, that was

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Speaker 1: going to be a aver if it happened, and it's

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Speaker 1: not happening. Your Raaliota or whatever that is, it's no

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Speaker 1: one here. You want to go on holiday by yourself? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I think you know. There's something wonderful about traveling by yourself.

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Speaker 1: So when you meet people, you don't get to meet

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Speaker 1: people if you're with one other person talking to them

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Speaker 1: the whole time. I think you should go with someone.

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Speaker 1: You can be lonely when you get to the United States.

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Speaker 1: Everyone there's a dumb dumb I'm lonely here, lonely here.

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Speaker 1: But you've got family, son, the worst family. You're talking

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Speaker 1: to your father. Okay, Hi, this is a representative from

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Speaker 1: Thai the knot dot com. I'm looking at your honeymoon fund.

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Speaker 1: I hope you guys had a wonderful wedding. It was beautiful, okay.

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Speaker 1: And so you're total here looks like Thailand, Thailand, Dryland Thailand, Thailand.

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Speaker 1: You have seventy four dollars times what No, that was

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Speaker 1: all that was donated and we asked for We didn't

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Speaker 1: even ask for guests. We just honey fund. Honey fund.

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Speaker 1: There were there were three thousand people there. It looked

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Speaker 1: like there was two people who donated what we bought

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Speaker 1: out Disney for the day. That was everything we have,

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Speaker 1: that was we were this looks like the grooms. Uh

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Speaker 1: father okay donated seventy Okay, that sounds reasonable. My dad

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Speaker 1: doesn't have a lot, and the bride's mother donated four dollars.

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Speaker 1: Slacking the fish. It's okay, it's all right. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to say this happens a lot. It's okay, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: Everything Okay. I'm gonna send you a list of all

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Speaker 1: the things you could do for under eighty dollars. Okay

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Speaker 1: they Hank? Are you giving out like the receipts on

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Speaker 1: these things? That was supposed to be anonymous? Those donations

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Speaker 1: are anonymous. What you can't tell people? I was just

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Speaker 1: listening to the call. You can't tell people what they

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Speaker 1: donate or who donated to what? Well? I thought, why not, mean, Hank?

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Speaker 1: Why not? Look? Tim? Can I ask you why you're

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Speaker 1: telling our reps how to handle the phone call? Why

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Speaker 1: is that your business? Why not let them be free

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Speaker 1: like a bird? Why that on? Whoever you want? That's

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Speaker 1: the whole idea of the job. Hey, Kyle, can I

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Speaker 1: ask you while you're calling up our guys and telling

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Speaker 1: him not to tell the rep stuff? I just think

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Speaker 1: it's fine? Okay, here, I got you a martini. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you're welcome. Expressed some ud. There's just no parking here.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to get out? Do you want to

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Speaker 1: get out of I don't know. You don't know. Your

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Speaker 1: ass is grass. He's stupid. Happy fucking birthday to me,

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Speaker 1: my ass. You're made of grass. You know it's made

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Speaker 1: of grass. Okay, it's a medical disorder. Okay, yeah, it

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Speaker 1: looks like green hair blades us. All right, that's what

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Speaker 1: I have. And if you want, if you make my

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Speaker 1: birthday about your fucking as what more? I was name calling.

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Speaker 1: You brought it up. Okay, you know what I did? This?

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Speaker 1: You did? Okay, Well, it seems like she's breathing now

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Speaker 1: I know, but she's not alerts. And this guy, he's

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Speaker 1: completely unconscious. It was an anxious I did hit him. Okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know. I didn't know. He didn't know. Cont

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Speaker 1: we all just continue to be new friends. Maybe you

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00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:18,120
Speaker 1: should answer hello Hello. Is it a clue? I think?

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Speaker 1: So you're stuck in this the what is the thing?

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Speaker 1: It's on your screen? I just looked around. You're stuck

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Speaker 1: in this waiting room and you're going you have you

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Speaker 1: have hang up the waiting room is the puzzle. I

300
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Speaker 1: think it was a prank call to escape rooms. Wh

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Speaker 1: you get a jolly Julie. That's sweet? Hello, hello, hello, hello. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we'll just read the problem. What is our clue? You're

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Speaker 1: stuck in this waiting room for a hundred hours? Right,

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00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,920
Speaker 1: I actually bought the twenty minute version. They bought. They said,

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Speaker 1: we are stuck in this escape row. He said, you're

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00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 1: going to be actors. You're never going to be able

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Speaker 1: to work the Okay, ladies, new scripts, new scripts, yes,

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00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,919
Speaker 1: all right, so we have all new adventures coming up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so let me hand these out here. Take a look,

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Speaker 1: take a look. Okay, why don't you give us a

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Speaker 1: quick read. You're stuck in this waiting room for twenty minutes.

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Speaker 1: We could put out whatever. That was perfect, okay, Elizabeth

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Speaker 1: our actress. No, this is a different script. I want

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Speaker 1: you check that one out. Okay, Yeah, this is a

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Speaker 1: Dracula theme. All right. You're stuck inside the bowels of

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Speaker 1: a bat and the only way you're going to be

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Speaker 1: able to get out is if you climb through its crack.

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Speaker 1: What is that? That was great? That was great? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I feel solid, I feel solid. Make those calls you

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Speaker 1: got it? Holy if that was intense. Well, apparently we

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00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 1: are inside a bat's ass. I believe what he said.

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Speaker 1: We've got to find our way out. It's cracked. Surely

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Speaker 1: this job. Maybe that's an instagram bats as sat bat bat?

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Speaker 1: Why do you have a Why do you have a

325
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 1: walkie talkie? Strapped your shoulder? What I think? Never mind?

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00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,439
Speaker 1: H congrats on being off. Thank you, thank you, thank you?

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Speaker 1: Stay undercover? Did your shoulders just say stay undercover? No,

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00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 1: it said stay under sober Blog twenty one two. Something

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Speaker 1: strange is happening about the ship. My crew can't seem

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Speaker 1: to get along. They asked questions no one can answer

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Speaker 1: and seem to be total strangers. Spark has become an

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Speaker 1: undercover cop on Sulu. That's a B shots him, that's

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00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 1: me Bat backwards his tab and there's tabs on these

334
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 1: foldersness filing cabinet. Your wife is trying to figure out

335
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 1: how to get out of here. Maybe the instagram leads

336
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:17,440
Speaker 1: to how we remove the keys from her esophagus? Who

337
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 1: send us four dollars? Who the hell set us four dollars? Margaret?

338
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,360
Speaker 1: What did you send us four dollars? Where? I don't

339
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 1: know where did you send that? Just talking about I

340
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 1: just got a charge on my Amax for four dollars.

341
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 1: Oh did you? Yes, it was my daughter's wedding. And

342
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Speaker 1: if you want to hold that over my head, you asshole,

343
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Speaker 1: than today is the day that we do this to

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Speaker 1: the death. All right, we do it to the death.

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Speaker 1: Choose choose your weapon, all right, you gotta let says,

346
00:20:50,520 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick the shutut. Oh my god. So I

347
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,239
Speaker 1: just don't understand what is I'm looking for in the

348
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Speaker 1: escape room. I'll tell you what you're looking for in

349
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 1: the escape room. You're looking for a little piece and

350
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: quiet for me and the people on the streets of

351
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 1: this town. Is what you're looking for. We're just trying

352
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 1: to get you off the streets. Don't you understand. I

353
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Speaker 1: thought I was going in there was some purpose or

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00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 1: somebody who was acting suspicious. You're saying this is just

355
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 1: for me. I am telling you right now, I am

356
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Speaker 1: sending you on a dummy mission where there is no

357
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:33,879
Speaker 1: crime potential or have already happened, just to get you

358
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Speaker 1: off the streets. Do I get to carry my firearm? No?

359
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: You don't get to carry a fire very well, Okay,

360
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 1: get out. Of my why circles in my office? You

361
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: can see the door. I just okay, I sorge. I

362
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 1: appreciate this. Yeah, yeah, the city appreciates this. Get out

363
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: of here standing. Why are you still standing and just

364
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: turning circle hug because you came to rehearsal and he

365
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 1: knows that seen one ends in your office. Very short.

366
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Speaker 1: Scene number two comes to us from Kent, greeting alchemists.

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Speaker 1: I'm new to your podcast with the last week, and

368
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: I'm hooked to travel a lot for work, and I

369
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,479
Speaker 1: listened to your show whenever I can. You guys make

370
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: a crappy day ten times better, So keep up the

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Speaker 1: good work. My suggestion is people from the Stone Age

372
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Speaker 1: meet people from the future. Thanks for making me laugh

373
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Speaker 1: every morning on my commute. Regards Kent from Charlotte, North Carolina.

374
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: Plutonium crystals are at full thrusters. Where do we land?

375
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:46,959
Speaker 1: It's seven over two four, We're on parallels going what time?

376
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 1: And continue? Do we lendon? Looks like the flow slip

377
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 1: is taking us backwards backwards, Yes, captain, and we wanted

378
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: to see the future. The quick material is falling, the

379
00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:09,719
Speaker 1: quick oh coming down from the scar What is falling

380
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: in our area? Quick draw a picture of it in

381
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:19,959
Speaker 1: the dirt. It fall quickly? You always you don't noticefire

382
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 1: from sky? To make your warning nicely? Want to hump? Oh,

383
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: don't hlp me, don't don't computer run diagnostics, computer speaking,

384
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:39,959
Speaker 1: don't just speaking to ship at four? What are the no?

385
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,160
Speaker 1: None ship? What are the oxygen? Alright, everybody shoot up oxygen,

386
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,919
Speaker 1: shoot up people. It's not safe in here. Let's get outside.

387
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: See what's albatron out there? Well, then we deal with albertron.

388
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:58,439
Speaker 1: Sinning for albatron, albatron, tons of albatron. No albatron, thank god? Everyone,

389
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,160
Speaker 1: make sure the safer blade or loaded. We don't want

390
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: to go out there on arms. Check at the oxygen

391
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 1: is breathable? But who's checking? Lenny? You want me to check?

392
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 1: You want me to go out there and just pop

393
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: my helmet off and just check to see if it's

394
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: or computer? How about that? Okay? But you said me

395
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 1: to do it check, you said, Lenny, Yeah, we come

396
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: in peace, Come in peace. These men are made right

397
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 1: a roman scanning rockman? What mineral? I'm captain? Ellis? This

398
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: is Lenny. We don't really know what a deal is.

399
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: What do you mean you don't know? Are we going

400
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: to introduce minerals detected Cynthia our engineer, high level synthesizer.

401
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: I'm the only one making water on this guy. Damn

402
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Yes? I am serious? What is now

403
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 1: the time we have? You just introduced me. I don't

404
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: know what. Don't feel too bad Lenny because he didn't

405
00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 1: even introduce me till I was like, and do you

406
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: remember that I'm standing right here? Carl? Can you help

407
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 1: at all? I am robots exactly? Can robot Carl help? Please? Yes? Hi, Hello,

408
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: we speak your language. They may be emissaries about letty?

409
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: Can we breathe? They might be you want me to

410
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: put my helmet off and just see what's up for

411
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:26,120
Speaker 1: run a diagnostic? Great? Fine, fine, Carl? Can we breathe? This? Arapy?

412
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 1: You could just ask? Because we are outside, we outside stone,

413
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 1: we don't just dirty possible very dirty possible danger. What

414
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 1: is it? They will hurt the ones they love, they

415
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: don't love us, that's possible thing. What use to us?

416
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 1: Sacrifice or captain? We know where you left, we know

417
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 1: where you was on that Lenny's hat off so he

418
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: could die out of here. It looks like we're designed

419
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: that made it look like a big fucking app like

420
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 1: a lady's tea hat sticker. I just don't get it.

421
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 1: I just don't understand, Lenny, go outside, alright, fine, fuck it.

422
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: You don't want to listen to Carl, I just don't

423
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: dare you. I just don't care. Watch you sleep, must

424
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 1: warn you outside. Horny man, very horny man. Albatron then

425
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 1: albatron always first. All right, fine, I'll go out first. Hello,

426
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 1: we come in peace, coming from a long time in

427
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: your future. I'll try to explain what that means. Okay, um,

428
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: what year do you know this to be year? What

429
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: is yr? Hear? We started? So this is before the

430
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 1: calendar of any kind. How do you mark time on

431
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: a wall? On a wall? We have time wall time? Okay,

432
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: how often do you mark the wall? Oh? We can

433
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,160
Speaker 1: go count handprints, but I'd take a while. Yeah, very

434
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 1: long do we have time? Probably not? Probably have busy schedules.

435
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: We have to put handprints on the wall to mark

436
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: their days. Oh no, Cynthia, Lenny, I have just detected

437
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: something awful. What what the captain is breathing an oxygen

438
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: that will turn his body into stone? Holy? Oh, slowly

439
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: he will become a stoneman. Carl related the captain that

440
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: that's what's happening. I'm not talking to him right, don't

441
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 1: mean you're not talking to access to his intelligence. He

442
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 1: was rude to you, and you are my friends. But

443
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: then just because I'm in love with you, Car, you

444
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 1: feel love from So this is our base camp. Oh man,

445
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: it's pretty nice. This is where which one is that punished? Pished?

446
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 1: He tried to eat food, wasn't what's that around his neck?

447
00:27:54,800 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 1: To macaroni necklace? To macaroni macaroni necklace? Are they communicating? No,

448
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 1: she's being punished too. She makes bad macaroni art. So

449
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:13,640
Speaker 1: that you punisher? Oh yeah, yeah, most most of these

450
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: people in these cages being punished. I go break down now,

451
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 1: I'm mark oh wall, Okay, your your legs get stiff,

452
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: leg your feelings in my arms? It working, it working

453
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: and working good. What's happening? No problem, regular earth, regular caveman,

454
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: not made of stone, rock people. How is the terror

455
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: farming of the Oxygen gang? Well, leader, we are. We

456
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: keep turning humans into rock people that come here. Looks

457
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: like the Captain has landed. My plan is going perfectly.

458
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: We need to turn the entire crew into rock people.

459
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: I forgive me for interrupting. Question what in game, Albatron?

460
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: I know my game is to create a new beginning

461
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: of rock paper of me. Yes, I know, off topic.

462
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: But Dave keeps humping. Do you keeps humping back? Yes?

463
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 1: I keep getting reports of Dave humping. I've castrated him,

464
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: I've throwned cold water on him. There's really nothing on

465
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 1: I don't think it's sex thing. I think it's dominance thing. Yes,

466
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: give me a leg, get off my gun, damnit, Dave. Okay,

467
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 1: you know when just to keep day for a while

468
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 1: by you? Why it's fine, You're like, it's safer that way,

469
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 1: and h let's yes, we have a new shoes that

470
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: you water. Let's just put small too small small shoes.

471
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: That's who stupid, stupid idiot. They might fit me. Oh yes,

472
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 1: let's right that you want es. They try when I'm

473
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: what's that later communication? That's my favor my agent? Hello, Albatron,

474
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: Yes it is I Captain Universe. Hello, I am here

475
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: to tell you that I want to ruin your day.

476
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: That's right, I'm going to stop your evil plan. I'm

477
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 1: going to reverse the stoning of men and turn them

478
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: back into human Captain Universe. I'd like to see you

479
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: try well open your eyes. Okay, but you know what

480
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: I mean, like like, get ready, what's he saying? I'm

481
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 1: going to do it? Hold on, I don't know saying.

482
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: Who is it? It's Captain Universe. I'm Universe. Yes, you

483
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 1: have a lot of fans. We asked them if they

484
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: would like to be put back to their human forms.

485
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: Do that, Captain Universe. Clearly that's not what they want.

486
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 1: Can he put his back in human form? Going to

487
00:30:56,200 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: a different room? Hello and hear me? Yes? So can

488
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 1: you hear me? Yes? Hello? Hold I'm looking for a signal.

489
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: Hold on Maconia okay, yes, whatever makes a badonia Captain Universe? Hello, yes,

490
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: can you hear me? Hello? Captain Death, God damn it.

491
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, let me call. I'm gonna FaceTime you. Okay,

492
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: Universe Hello, hold on? Can I keep the shoot? Lenny?

493
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: What was your name? I'm Lenny? What do you mean?

494
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: What do you mean? Cynthia? What is going on? Coral? Hell?

495
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 1: And can you captain? My batteries are running low. Okay, Look,

496
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 1: we gotta get out there. We gotta extract the captain

497
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: or he's gonna turn into a stone. Let's leave. I

498
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: have one last thing, so what you can take my

499
00:31:54,800 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: battery supply and charge your suits. Okay, great, there we go,

500
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: thank you. Okay, this is not allowed of juice. No,

501
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: we're not gonna go far. I'm not gonna. I'm just

502
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: gonna not gonna do it. All right, Look, we gotta

503
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: go over there, and we have to grab our captain

504
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 1: the Star Federation to manage it. There's hierarchy, there's order, captain, Captain, yes, captain,

505
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: go forward talking. Now, something's happened to my my suit

506
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: or my legs and my arms or something. There's a

507
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: stiffness that I can't explain. Runners down, Yes, Captain, I

508
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: do copy it seems as need help to get back

509
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: to the ship. Captain Cynthia Cynthia um, could you give

510
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: me the code? The code the takeoff? Yeah? Sure, okay,

511
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:46,719
Speaker 1: now yeah, go for the cod alight. Okay, Hey, why

512
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: do you sneak away on a little recorder? Uh? We

513
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: were having and you just walked away, and there's people

514
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: back on my ship. I needed a community, So sorry,

515
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: I don't sense the sincerity. Maybe you could put hands

516
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: out like this, your hands you want to know your hands?

517
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 1: Put my hands out put your hands out that she's

518
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 1: got good post and stay that way for a while. Okay,

519
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: that looks good. That looks good. Yeah right this room.

520
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: Turn your body just a little bit right this way.

521
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: They're having trouble turning my body. Well okay, okay, Captain Universe,

522
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 1: Captain Universe, Yes, this is corporate Marshall love the Star Federation.

523
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: Oh my, shall we need your help? I know you do.

524
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: You've been work in the Albatron case for too long.

525
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 1: Today it stops. I have an ingenious plan. Yes, what

526
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 1: is it? Just keep your eyes open, okay, and like

527
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: not like I literally like like watch what I'm about

528
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: to do? All right? Yes, and then what's the plan.

529
00:33:55,280 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: You'll see what pizza for Mr Albatron? And you know,

530
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: so the thing I was saying, it's all it doesn't matter.

531
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: I understand that too high I'm talking. So if you

532
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:18,760
Speaker 1: think about it, I'm so sorry. Pizza for you a pizza?

533
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: I think I did, Yes, I did. Hello, Hello, it's

534
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: just your pizza. It's me Captain Universe. So what are

535
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: you coming for? I need to destroy pizza. We're fans,

536
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: No it's not. Okay, Well great, I'm glad you're fans.

537
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: Because I'm going to turn you back to who you

538
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: used to be. You're a doctor, you were a student.

539
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: What about this new captain we got? You can't move?

540
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: Help me? Please please, Oh Captain Universe. I'm so scared.

541
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: But before I pissed my assuld you mind? I have

542
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: a slice of m regan. No, go ahead, help yourself. No,

543
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: I'm this, I'm pointing a regor you. There's piss coming

544
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,320
Speaker 1: out of your ass. I told you before it happened,

545
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: I couldn't control it. Try and let's do this once

546
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: and for all. Next way to see what happens to

547
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 1: Captain Universe. Universe Universe comes and carry Good morning. I've

548
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,359
Speaker 1: been a listening it since a day of one. My

549
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 1: ideas an old My ideas an old Western town where

550
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 1: the new school teacher played by my favorite James Heeney,

551
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,399
Speaker 1: is just starting his day when he hears that an

552
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 1: outlaw gang just rode into town. His job is to

553
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 1: keep the kids safe in spite of the kids wanting

554
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: to take on the gang themselves. P s James Eney

555
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: for president. Keep up the great work. Everyone carry from Dallas.

556
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 1: All right, everybody gets its hit down, Sit down, We're

557
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: gonna be touching. We're gonna be learning some letters. Mr can't. Well,

558
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 1: it's all right that you can stand. There's there's definitely reason,

559
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,799
Speaker 1: Mr Leward. Yeah, I have a question about someone that's

560
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: work here. Can you help me? Of course I can

561
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: help you. Okay, let me just come on down by

562
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 1: your desk. I wish I could sit down by my

563
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: butts just two swords. Have you considered just leaning forward

564
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: instead of sitting all the way? I guess I can.

565
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: All right, what's the problem you got over, Mr Leward?

566
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: I don't understand what this thing? Word? Can you help?

567
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 1: This word here means door, and that's that's what you

568
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 1: go in and out. Oh my gosh, let me take

569
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 1: a look out this one. Nine boys, this is the

570
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: town we're taking. I'm gonna kill everybody to drink all

571
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: the water. Damn, I'm gonna wear somebody's hair on my head. Up,

572
00:36:54,440 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 1: Mr Leward, I need a bath now, you do go

573
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 1: in to see what's happening in school? Oh? Well, hello there,

574
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,359
Speaker 1: you guys must be you guys must be parents waiting

575
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: to pick up the kids. Here for the kids. We

576
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 1: come for the kids, are you Mr Leward? I am

577
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 1: Mr Leard? Why don't we talk in the hallway. This

578
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: is where getting some of the most important of my

579
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: business done is in the whole way. It's just it's

580
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: just a room, it's just a building. But outside this

581
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: door is what I called the hallway door. Remember what

582
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: you guys. Listen to you, guys, I am teaching to

583
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:44,360
Speaker 1: the future, the children in our future. Are you to

584
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 1: wear your hair on my head? My children, the children

585
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: are the few. Well what I'm doing, I'm teaching them

586
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 1: to make the world a better place in the future.

587
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: Used to never want to make the world a better place.

588
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,399
Speaker 1: What happened the old loward? We knew you to run

589
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: with this gang harder anyone else. No guns allowed on

590
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: my school property. Okay, they changed, all right? I have

591
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: a baby. When you wiped boogers on a little town priest.

592
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: At the time, I thought I was pretty tough. But

593
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 1: now I'm my family man. I got a real question

594
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: for you. Yes, yeah, you know somewhere I can take

595
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 1: a bath. Of course, you can take a bath in

596
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 1: any one of those horse troughs on the main street.

597
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: Looking at it, I gotta save your jar and nipples.

598
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: And you cut off of people that's not mine anymore.

599
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: That was the old luard. That's not me anymore. I'm

600
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: a teacher. And you remember when you pulled out all

601
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,280
Speaker 1: them teeth of all them people and stuffed them inside

602
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: that one horse and then cut that horse open and

603
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 1: then swung out around the entered. When I closed my

604
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: eyes and it's the only thing I can see, I

605
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: can't forget it to following me. Sure don't run, passion,

606
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: offer to come back, now, come back, mose. He's still running.

607
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: What the hell's happening? He just ran the sheriff. He

608
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,839
Speaker 1: looks he's still going day. Yeah, well, might as well

609
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 1: get back to this paperwork. Nothing happening in this town. Lord,

610
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: I think it's time we go into that classroom. I

611
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 1: don't want you to go into my classroom about who

612
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 1: you really are. Those kids don't need to know about

613
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 1: I'm a role model. I can show me your bag ears.

614
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: I don't want those kids to know about that past.

615
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: What if one of these kids could be a doctor,

616
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 1: why don't we find all? Right, y'all gonna have to

617
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,959
Speaker 1: come out then. So what I'm thinking is that if

618
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 1: a kids alright, kids, it's gonna be a little bit

619
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 1: of show and tell. I've got some important people to

620
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 1: meet their friends from my that's right here is a

621
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 1: six shuting revolver. It's the police Custom eight team four

622
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,840
Speaker 1: to seven. Right here, bolt Action retriever in a nine

623
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 1: four team. We learned that weapons to that. Well, we're

624
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: gonna learn a lot about things. This here right here,

625
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,320
Speaker 1: children as a natural loofa. You see, you can scrub

626
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 1: anywhere you want. And these are my thigh knoves. I'll

627
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 1: keeping knaves on my thighs. Is that try blood? Yes

628
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 1: it is. They don't ask. But a lot of people

629
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: don't need to carry knaves. Some people can use their

630
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: intelligence as their swords. Are you outlaws? That's right. The

631
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: shing you gotta learn to do is roll your own cigarettes.

632
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: Here's some paper, doctor, what don't you call? Where are

633
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 1: you doing? Well? Dr? You just ran past the right

634
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 1: past the office, right past the office. This. I got

635
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: some more laches put over there for the doctor. Put

636
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 1: the children. I got some good news and I got

637
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 1: some bad news. First, why I wanted to start with

638
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 1: the good news first? All right, Well, the bad news

639
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 1: is schools out. Bad news. The good news is we're

640
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:28,319
Speaker 1: gonna take your teacher. We're going to take your teacher. No, no, no,

641
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: we're going for the biggest high yet, the biggest high.

642
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 1: Your teacher used to sleep with a pillow case full

643
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 1: of but skins. That was a different about it, Mr Leward,

644
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,400
Speaker 1: Why can't you just be who you really are? You

645
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,839
Speaker 1: tell us every day be yourself? Well, you see, I

646
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: got a baby, and my baby is belongs to my wife.

647
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: Does your baby want you to be who you really are? Probably?

648
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 1: But my wife wants to be responsible and she doesn't

649
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: like It's a lot of people. You got all tons

650
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,799
Speaker 1: of babies all over this land. This one looks just

651
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 1: like me. He's got my We need to get a

652
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 1: posse together. The lud gang is in town. Came over here,

653
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 1: my heart. What did happened? Somebody should call him a doctor?

654
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: Chicken guy came back right on the board, doctor clutch

655
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 1: the cha doctor? What down? He just ran right by

656
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 1: the office, didn't he? We get some more leeches in there? Yes,

657
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: I have another chart. I got a slug your pet.

658
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 1: So lud you're coming with us or you're coming with us.

659
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. Y'all come down to my house

660
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: and you explained to my wife why I have to

661
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: go back on the What kind of tub you got

662
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 1: what kind of tub I got? Yeah, I was just

663
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: gonna say to his wife, kids, shuff, well, he ran right,

664
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 1: doesn't expecting you so early. These are really long potatoes.

665
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 1: They sure that's the way my husband likes, and keep

666
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:32,720
Speaker 1: chopping them, primitive America. I love you all right, everybody,

667
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: My wife's inside. I'm sure that she's unexpected and she's

668
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 1: alone inside there. My fellow here needs, oh sweetheart, all

669
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: these days, who did direts and guns? Who? This guy?

670
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 1: Better clean up? If anyone wants to hear any harpsichord today,

671
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: I recommend you get cleaned up and sit down at

672
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 1: the table. Well, I must say, I believe that there's

673
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: a man in here that's been with my wife. I did.

674
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: I was just here for a second. What my name

675
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 1: spilled the truth? What are you going to do with

676
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: this skin? Mr? Lewis? Watch this, children, I'm gonna cut

677
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 1: your butthole like it's Calamari, where it's a cuting nobody,

678
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: give me a name, Mr. That's how you deal with infidelity. Okay,

679
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 1: get yourself a doctor, all right? Children? If you just

680
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: gather around this case here in particular, this is from

681
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: the Old West, Can you please stop referring to us

682
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 1: as children. I'm sorry, we're college. Remember everyone's name, so

683
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 1: it's easier for me to people were all under group. Alright,

684
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: but I'm forty six years old. I understand children. So

685
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 1: if you look at this, years old and I finally

686
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 1: saved up enough to go to college, I college. You

687
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 1: saying this, Can you let him tell us what's in

688
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: the case? No, No, we should hear the rest of

689
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 1: his stuff. No, we know, apparently of money, and he

690
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:14,720
Speaker 1: had had a divorce and lost everything. It really sounds

691
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: like we're not hearing the whole story. Honestly. Oh, I

692
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 1: think they're right. It's not that terribly interesting. So this

693
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 1: is in this case here from eighteen seven. It's interesting

694
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:26,319
Speaker 1: because it happened to a human being. What we're all

695
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: human beings, and you don't hear me telling you about

696
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 1: my stuff. It costs a lot of money for us

697
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: to go to school. So we'd like to hear the

698
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 1: professor talk about this. This is a cock ring from

699
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 1: eighteen eighty seven. We started out as a men's asshole.

700
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 1: You believe it. History is way more exciting than I thought.

701
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 1: The first Cochrane came from a man's asshole. When I

702
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:51,319
Speaker 1: was married June eighteen, eight seven. We've all had sex, probably, yeah,

703
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: probably all had sex. I don't know if everyone hasn't.

704
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to assume it's fine of having when

705
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: I was married. Here we go again with it wouldn't

706
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 1: be worth it? Asks to ask if we could take

707
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: it out of the case. No, he certainly again, Yes,

708
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: that's a wonderful question. Oh there's a little plaque. I

709
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 1: was still voiced. I take it out of the case regularly.

710
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: It's pretty gross, man, does anyone want to try it all?

711
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: Maybe you said, now that you're no longer man, it's

712
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 1: like murray old people. Man, it's so weird. Hey, who

713
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:32,240
Speaker 1: what's what's that? Plaquard? What's Who's Who's lured? Oh? Well

714
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 1: he was a vicious outlaws. Well he didn't really make

715
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: the history books because he didn't do anything that important. Really.

716
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: He tried to change the minds of youngsters and it

717
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: was turned back around by outlaws. Sounds interesting. I kind

718
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,760
Speaker 1: of rather hear about your divorce. Yeah, it was about

719
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: a four year Uh, I don't want to say swor swoy.

720
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 1: How did you get into college? I plun and I

721
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 1: got in. Did you take the test your supposed to

722
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: take to take the test? You mean go to high

723
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 1: school the college tests? No, I mean like a C S.

724
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 1: It's really hard. Are you in college? Are you here

725
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 1: to take the college test? Yeah? How's your name? I

726
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:19,920
Speaker 1: just got a divorce, I understand, and i'd really like

727
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: to just before we got to take the college test first? Yeah?

728
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:24,800
Speaker 1: Is there someone I can have a series of questions?

729
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: All right, that's all it takes. Ready, okay, us, thank

730
00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 1: you very much. Switched him out? Improvise? Thank you? What

731
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 1: oh it's a great list. Thank you? When did you

732
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: get a divorce? But you're going to improvise? Question? Professor

733
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: ran right by the class? Uh what what? What year

734
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 1: was your divorce? My divorce was? That's correct? Question number two? Uh?

735
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:58,760
Speaker 1: Have you ever had column ary? Yes? I have? That's correct.

736
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 1: Question number three? What's your favorite pie? Turkey? All right,

737
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: say yeah, we gotta move on to quick. What the

738
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: test was that? Dude? It was a college test. That

739
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like a college test, and also the math

740
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: doesn't check out. What are you talking about? You said

741
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 1: you said when you were retelling that story that you

742
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: got married four and six years old, like you were

743
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 1: a teenager when he got divorced. He was a ten ager.

744
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: Oh you were a teenager, you were nothing. You know,

745
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 1: you know, you know who used to get married when

746
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: they were teenagers. People back in the old Western days.

747
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: Trying to teach us right now, you're not. I didn't

748
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 1: mean too I sorry, I'm taking back you want to

749
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,239
Speaker 1: thank you, all of you. Let's I mean, I'd rather

750
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: thank our alchemists today. Joey Greert tells, we're folks can

751
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: find you and do it quickly. You know you can

752
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: find me. Thank you, James Jeeney. It turns out that

753
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 1: you can see a lot of content from us on Instagram.

754
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 1: Just go to Alchemy. There's doc no dot com. Just

755
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 1: at Alchemy this on Instagram. That's how it works, all right,

756
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 1: Mark Aglary, We're gonna miss you dearly. Please travel safe,

757
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: Thank you and enjoyed the season two three Fire Knights,

758
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: very exciting com here, Yes Alchemy this all the things. Yes,

759
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: please Chris offer love you, love you so very much.

760
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 1: Let's thank Doug Babe and our sound design arms to

761
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,919
Speaker 1: art media. Encourage all of you to write a review.

762
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 1: Tell everyone you've ever met, and right, do is it

763
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: your name? Here? At Alchemy this dot com. That's your

764
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:41,799
Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. Until next time,

765
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 1: I'm Kevin Folly