Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Overcomfort Podcast. I am your host,
Speaker 1: Jennica Lopez. I am so excited because today is just
Speaker 1: going to be a talk with me and you. I
Speaker 1: want to be able to talk about something that has
Speaker 1: definitely helped me in my healing, and I truly believe
Speaker 1: is the core of how I'm bettering myself every day,
Speaker 1: because the goal is to better yourself every day, to
Speaker 1: be a better person, to be kind, to be a
Speaker 1: healed person. You know, healing never ends. I will say
Speaker 1: that at least I haven't found the end, so but
Speaker 1: it gets easier. And one thing that I have practiced
Speaker 1: is definitely healing your inner child. And today we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about the importance of healing your inner child
Speaker 1: because what happens inside is a reflection, will reflect. Sorry,
Speaker 1: what happens inside will reflect on the outside. So for example,
Speaker 1: if you guys do not know how to heal your
Speaker 1: inner child, if you need help, or if you truly
Speaker 1: just don't understand it, We're gonna talk about it today.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, Yeah, We're definitely gonna talk about it today because,
Speaker 1: like I said, it's definitely helped me in my healing
Speaker 1: journey and rediscovering who I am and understanding parts of myself.
Speaker 1: Why is it important? Let's talk about the why it
Speaker 1: is important, because, like I said, what happens on the inside.
Speaker 1: If you don't figure out what's going on, the damaged
Speaker 1: parts of you or even the positive things about you
Speaker 1: on the inside, it will reflect on the outside and
Speaker 1: it just comes off. It can come off bitter, it
Speaker 1: could come off angry, It could come off sad, it
Speaker 1: can come off depressed, or it can come off as
Speaker 1: people pleasing or just anxiety as well like some people's
Speaker 1: like you know, for me, if let me give an
Speaker 1: example of my inner child work, Let's say my inner
Speaker 1: child trauma, self sabotage, because I feel like I've never
Speaker 1: been able to amount And these are things that I'm
Speaker 1: not saying this is because of my parents or because
Speaker 1: of anyone in specific. Sometimes it is, but things that
Speaker 1: I have may felt like a child sticks with me
Speaker 1: till this day as an adult. And that's what I mean,
Speaker 1: where you have to figure out your inside in order
Speaker 1: to move on on the outside. And as you get
Speaker 1: older as well, what if we are carrying certain things
Speaker 1: since you were a child, it's going to reflect in
Speaker 1: your adult life and even possibly in your children's life.
Speaker 1: And that's where I go into breaking generational curses, generational
Speaker 1: curses of anger, divorce, abuse, it could be anything. So
Speaker 1: for me, what I want to work on right now
Speaker 1: as an adult is my fear of abandonment. I get
Speaker 1: that fear because both my parents passed away when I
Speaker 1: was twelve and fifteen. So I feel like anybody can
Speaker 1: disappear at any moment of my life and it scares
Speaker 1: me and I and I'm learning to be okay with
Speaker 1: not getting goodbyes or if people do leave and if
Speaker 1: and to stop letting that fear drive me and to
Speaker 1: stop holding on to those people because it's unhealthy. It
Speaker 1: could be toxic. It could if I'm holding on to
Speaker 1: a certain relationship. For example, if I'm if I'm in
Speaker 1: a relationship with my boyfriend and I'm scared to be
Speaker 1: to live a life without him and he's abusive and
Speaker 1: he's toxic and whatever, and I'm scared. It's because I've
Speaker 1: had a fear of abandonment that I'm not going to
Speaker 1: be loved or I'm not gonna or he's just gonna disappear,
Speaker 1: and I want to hold on to him really really tight.
Speaker 1: People pleasing I have a huge problem with people pleasing.
Speaker 1: And I've learned that in this these last couple of
Speaker 1: years that it's okay to say no, to stop being
Speaker 1: everybody's yes person. And I got that also when I
Speaker 1: was younger, because I feel like I'm still trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where I'm learning these things like my inner
Speaker 1: child like certain moments, but I do feel like it
Speaker 1: definitely has to do with seeing my mom being that
Speaker 1: pillar for everybody and her providing everything that automatically in
Speaker 1: my brain like I'm an on be just like that.
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that everybody's okay. I want
Speaker 1: to be please pleasing people, but without knowing that it's
Speaker 1: damaging me. It damages me as a as an adult
Speaker 1: because if I say yes and then something I get
Speaker 1: the wrong outcome, then that's on me, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So I want to work on people pleasing,
Speaker 1: learning to say no. I'm more I am working on it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go on a quick break and we'll be
Speaker 1: right back. Welcome back, you guys. Definitely low self esteem.
Speaker 1: I have struggled with low self esteem self confidence ooh
Speaker 1: since for a long time, and I feel like I've
Speaker 1: shared it a couple times before on the podcast. But
Speaker 1: it's also because you know of my way and being
Speaker 1: compared to my sisters, my mom always feeling like I
Speaker 1: have to worry about that, and then growing up, I
Speaker 1: was always on diets. I've always I've gotten surgery, and
Speaker 1: I've had to learn as an adult to appreciate and
Speaker 1: love my body and to tell my younger self like
Speaker 1: it's okay, you're still beautiful. You're still beautiful no matter
Speaker 1: what size, what shape, any aspect. If I'm making sense
Speaker 1: in that way, Another thing is definitely drawing boundaries, and
Speaker 1: I think that goes with people pleasing, It goes hand
Speaker 1: in hand. At growing up, I never saw boundaries in
Speaker 1: my family. You had to tell everybody everything you had
Speaker 1: to dirty clothes were just out everywhere without or people
Speaker 1: had an opinion on your life. And that's what I
Speaker 1: witnessed growing up in my families. Like I now that
Speaker 1: I'm an adult, I know like, okay, this is how
Speaker 1: much access you have to me. You I don't need
Speaker 1: your opinion on my relationship. I don't need your opinion
Speaker 1: on my home. If you don't pay the bills or
Speaker 1: if you don't provide, I don't need your opinion about
Speaker 1: what I'm wearing because this is my clothes, you know.
Speaker 1: So there's definitely little things like that that help has
Speaker 1: helped me grow up genuinely and to heal that part
Speaker 1: of me and move forward in my life and to
Speaker 1: help that in my future with my children or my
Speaker 1: nieces and nephews. Another example is being a good dea.
Speaker 1: I never really had a good enough dea or Nina.
Speaker 1: I don't have a god mother, but I know what
Speaker 1: I want to be to mine, to my nieces and nephews,
Speaker 1: to my god daughters, Like I want to be able
Speaker 1: to take care of them the way that I need
Speaker 1: it to be, or to provide for them, or be
Speaker 1: just be a fun theah, like there's very little memories
Speaker 1: maybe till I was about like ten, I don't like
Speaker 1: very little, but I want to be better than what
Speaker 1: I grew up with in that sense, and that is
Speaker 1: the whole purpose. Like the it's who you were as
Speaker 1: a child, hold your beliefs, it holds your innocence, it
Speaker 1: holds you know who you are generally, and recognizing parts
Speaker 1: that are wrong and the parts that are positive is
Speaker 1: super important in your adult life. And I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of people have a hard time addressing that
Speaker 1: and are stuck in a I don't know what to do,
Speaker 1: or in a in just like a simple situation that
Speaker 1: just doesn't help or benefit you, and you're trying to
Speaker 1: find the answer. Start with your inner healing. Start with
Speaker 1: figuring out the problems or why you're mad. Maybe you're
Speaker 1: mad at your parents for doing something when you were younger,
Speaker 1: or maybe you need a break and you don't know
Speaker 1: why you are a certain way that you are. You
Speaker 1: have to sit down and think and journal. Like, look,
Speaker 1: if I'm angry, for example, I'm a person with anger problems.
Speaker 1: I get angry easily. Maybe you saw your dad get angry,
Speaker 1: or maybe you're just upset that you know it could
Speaker 1: be that your dad wasn't in the picture, or your
Speaker 1: mom or this certain person, etc. Etc. Address those things.
Speaker 1: Write a letter. I feel like writing letters to those
Speaker 1: people or to yourself is super important and even as
Speaker 1: simple as like your dream job, Like you had a
Speaker 1: dream when you were little of having your own baking shop,
Speaker 1: or you always dreamt of, I don't know, going to Disneyland.
Speaker 1: You go go. Do those things. Make your heart happy,
Speaker 1: make your soul happy, and I promise you it is
Speaker 1: it'll reflect on the inside, I mean on the outside
Speaker 1: in such a healthy way, and it'll bring so much
Speaker 1: more light and airy And I genuinely believe that this
Speaker 1: is what has definitely brought a lot of closure in
Speaker 1: my life, in my personal life and in my friendships
Speaker 1: and in my relationships. And I'm going to do another
Speaker 1: episode about goodbyes and having boundaries because I feel like
Speaker 1: that is super important as well, having boundaries, letting people
Speaker 1: know how much access they have to you, and taking
Speaker 1: your power back. Most importantly is it is taking your
Speaker 1: power back, taking your power back when you were a
Speaker 1: child to now being an adult like you have, you're
Speaker 1: in control of your own life and of your own
Speaker 1: happiness and it doesn't rely depend on anybody else but yourself.
Speaker 1: And I am a true firm believer that your inner
Speaker 1: child will truly appreciate the work that you're doing as
Speaker 1: an adult now and to heal it, We're going to
Speaker 1: go on a quick break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back, you guys. I found this amazing article to
Speaker 1: help describe and give you easier steps to heal your
Speaker 1: inner child. Because we were all child children once, we
Speaker 1: were all kids once in our lives and they still remain.
Speaker 1: Those memories lie within us. And it doesn't mean specifically
Speaker 1: that you had to have a bad childhood to heal
Speaker 1: to have to heal childhood trauma. No, you can have
Speaker 1: childhood trauma even if you had the happiest childhood you went,
Speaker 1: you had your parents, et cetera, et cetera. There's still
Speaker 1: parts of it that need to be healed. So let
Speaker 1: me go ahead and read it. It says many of
Speaker 1: the children are hiding, they're waiting for someone to come
Speaker 1: and acknowledge their pain. Like I said, it could happen
Speaker 1: in a healthy childhood or non healthy, unhealthy. And I think,
Speaker 1: and I always revert to the Bible. Sorry, I'm gonna rea,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back to read that, but I always
Speaker 1: revert to the Bible that children are so pure and innocent.
Speaker 1: You have to go back to that. And that's who
Speaker 1: what was it? I think it's the children enter the
Speaker 1: gates something like that. I gotta you know, when I
Speaker 1: bring up the Bible, I gotta be more specific. But
Speaker 1: there is a part of the Bible where children are
Speaker 1: very specific pure and innocent. Be pure, innocent as a child,
Speaker 1: as like a child I'm pure a snow or something
Speaker 1: like that, and I always pray to God. I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: just purify my heart, purefy my inner child. Bring me
Speaker 1: back to my innocence. Obviously I send everybody's sins and
Speaker 1: that's totally normal. But remind me of your goodness, remind
Speaker 1: me of how beautiful things were were when I was
Speaker 1: a child. And I want to be free. I want
Speaker 1: to be careless. I don't want to have to worry
Speaker 1: like I want to live my life freely as a child.
Speaker 1: You look at kids and you're like, damn, I wish
Speaker 1: I had that life. But you want to be able
Speaker 1: to work towards that and remember, like, I'm happy because
Speaker 1: I healed myself. Back to the article, those children are
Speaker 1: still with us today. Many of them are hiding. They're
Speaker 1: waiting for someone to come and acknowledge their pain. Once
Speaker 1: that happens, they'll be ready to enjoy every moment, care
Speaker 1: free and light. They want to express themselves for that.
Speaker 1: They need to feel safe and loved. When they can't,
Speaker 1: it's usually because of unsolved trauma. These are painful experiences
Speaker 1: from the past that you learn to suppress. You may
Speaker 1: not notice them in everyday life. But that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that they're not there. Your inner child may sabotage your
Speaker 1: adult experience by trying to get you to heal its
Speaker 1: unsolved issues. You can do that through reparenting yourself. This
Speaker 1: means providing a loving presence and compassion self compassion that
Speaker 1: you wish you received as a child. This usually happens
Speaker 1: in three stages. Connecting with you're and a child, listening
Speaker 1: to what it has to stay, and nurturing the child
Speaker 1: and meeting its emotional needs. And that is basically the point.
Speaker 1: Connect with yourself, Listen to what your body is saying.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you guys, Journaling is a top one thing
Speaker 1: if you're on this healing journey, and if you want
Speaker 1: to better yourself, start journaling. It'll bring so much healing.
Speaker 1: You'll see things and pay attention to yourself, pay attention
Speaker 1: to why you do things. Be more self aware, like
Speaker 1: open your eyes more to what you're seeing. I feel
Speaker 1: like being self aware will bring a lot of answers
Speaker 1: as well, and being compassionate with yourself. Don't be too
Speaker 1: hard on yourself. And that's definitely one thing that I
Speaker 1: struggle with too, and I've learned since i've been a kid,
Speaker 1: like I always felt like I had had to have
Speaker 1: the perfect grades. I'm a perfectionist. I have OCD and
Speaker 1: those are things that reflected because I saw like I
Speaker 1: don't like like I get anxious, you know, And that's
Speaker 1: because of certain experiences that I've had as a child.
Speaker 1: So you have to listen to yourself. Listen and be
Speaker 1: kind to yourself. And like I always say, it's always
Speaker 1: okay not to be okay. And I'm gonna pray for
Speaker 1: everybody on their journey to healing, and pray for your
Speaker 1: inner child. Take yourself to Disneyland or maybe maybe yeah
Speaker 1: if Disneyland, if you had a bad experience at Disneyland,
Speaker 1: take yourself back there as an adult right now and
Speaker 1: experience joy. Heal that part of you. If you haven't
Speaker 1: talked to your parents because of this or dad or etc.
Speaker 1: Talk to them, move on. Or if you feel like
Speaker 1: you don't need to forgive yourself, forgive them and move on.
Speaker 1: God be with this person, God be with this situation.
Speaker 1: Heal my heart in this situation, and I promise you
Speaker 1: it will be. And I'm on the same journey as you, guys.
Speaker 1: I encourage you, guys to just keep moving forward, head
Speaker 1: towards the light and just be grateful, be grateful that
Speaker 1: we all have experiences to learn from with a purpose
Speaker 1: and that are important. Everything happens for a reason, and
Speaker 1: I am a fair and true believer on that everything
Speaker 1: happens for a reason. All you got to do is
Speaker 1: open your eyes and just receive it. Receive whatever it
Speaker 1: is and take it as a lesson or whatever. All right,
Speaker 1: you guys, that is going to be it for this episode.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for listening and watching from
Speaker 1: where you guys are at. And I will see you
Speaker 1: guys on the next one. Bye. Overcome for Podcasts is
Speaker 1: a production of Iheartmichael podcast Network