WEBVTT - I Choose … Compassion, Gratitude and Acceptance with Cameron Mathison

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Hi, everyone,

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<v Speaker 1>welcome back to I Choose Me. This podcast is all

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<v Speaker 1>about the choices we make in good times and bad.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's episode feels less like an interview and more like

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<v Speaker 1>catching up with an old friend. You know Cameron Matheson

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<v Speaker 1>as the dastardly Drew Cain on General Hospital. He is

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<v Speaker 1>a favorite in all those holiday movies and the guy

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<v Speaker 1>who somehow manages to stay grounded while juggling work, family,

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<v Speaker 1>and a whole lot of life's curveballs. We're going to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about everything from nutty fan encounters to the ups

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<v Speaker 1>and downs of social media, empty nesting, and rebuilding a life,

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<v Speaker 1>both literally and figuratively. Okay, I can't believe he chases

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<v Speaker 1>that dog down hyperiod.

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<v Speaker 2>No full sprit flipflops. It was Did you see the

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<v Speaker 2>George Clooney movie? What was that movie where he's in

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<v Speaker 2>Hawaii and he ran down the street because his wife

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<v Speaker 2>was having an affair. Do you remember that scene? He

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<v Speaker 2>was in the flip flops and he was It was

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<v Speaker 2>such a painful moment because there was like I was

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<v Speaker 2>in flip flops sprinting down Hyperion. After this dogo for

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<v Speaker 2>I think probably probably felt like three quarters a mile

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<v Speaker 2>was probably like half a mile, and he just and

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<v Speaker 2>it's probably the wrong response. Maybe I should have stopped running,

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<v Speaker 2>because maybe he was only running because I was running,

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<v Speaker 2>But I was afraid to stop because then he maybe

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<v Speaker 2>would just keep I don't know. So eventually he came

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<v Speaker 2>up to a woman and her dog, and I happened

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<v Speaker 2>to know the woman. She's like an older woman in

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<v Speaker 2>a time, and he and the dog started barking because

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<v Speaker 2>it was intimidating, and that's what got him, and so

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<v Speaker 2>he was like and she was like, no, no, hunter

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<v Speaker 2>stopped like and so it gave me a chance to

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<v Speaker 2>grab him. And he had a little bandanas. I just

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<v Speaker 2>got him groomed and I grabbed the bandana. I was

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<v Speaker 2>holding his leave and the bandanna came off, so we

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<v Speaker 2>broke him free again and then I finally kind of

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<v Speaker 2>looped him and he was just chill. He was just

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<v Speaker 2>like he just wanted to run and play like he

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't trying to be mean, he just wanted to be

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<v Speaker 2>a dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and terrorized the city of Silver Lake.

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<v Speaker 2>In like inadvertently, but yeah, yeah, oh.

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<v Speaker 1>My gosh, Well you're very nice to be taking in him,

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<v Speaker 1>the foster dog. I thought at first it was like

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<v Speaker 1>going to be your new dog.

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<v Speaker 2>Everybody did.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you think it was going to be your new dog?

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<v Speaker 1>Or were you like, let me just see how this goes.

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<v Speaker 2>There was a part of me that was, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>hoping for the foster fail. I sort of thought he

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<v Speaker 2>was He's gonna be maybe, like it was just complete,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, when.

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<v Speaker 3>You you you.

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<v Speaker 2>Block out any logical reasoning because the one little sliver

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<v Speaker 2>of like want is in there and you're like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my gosh, this could work somehow. But then like reality

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<v Speaker 2>sets in and he's one hundred pounds and I have

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<v Speaker 2>no yard, and I have three stories where I am

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<v Speaker 2>now and I'm never home and I travel and my

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<v Speaker 2>kids are going back to college, and I'm alone now,

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<v Speaker 2>and I you know, on set at General Hospital twelve hours.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no log like, there's no way I should.

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<v Speaker 1>Have this dog keep them at home.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like if you had my kids were home or

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<v Speaker 2>I had, you know, in a relation, but yeah, like

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<v Speaker 2>it's it was a it was a not this most skillful.

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<v Speaker 2>But again, it was always intended to be a foster,

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<v Speaker 2>So I was hoping that somehow magically it would make sense,

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<v Speaker 2>and it really doesn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, usually you are the one doing the interviewing, so

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<v Speaker 1>I'm excited to be interviewed and chatting way better with you,

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<v Speaker 1>and all the ladies are definitely going to be swooning

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<v Speaker 1>because I don't know if you know this, but apparently

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<v Speaker 1>you are a beloved Christmas movie actor. Like you're beloved

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<v Speaker 1>for other things. This is like hardcore.

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<v Speaker 2>Your mom watches me, which made me feel really good.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, considering like she's your mom and the unbelievable

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<v Speaker 2>amount of things that you done.

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<v Speaker 1>I said me, maybe you want to brush your because

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<v Speaker 1>she's living with me right now. I'm taking care of her.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you want to brush your hair, maybe like a

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<v Speaker 1>little lipsticles. Because I got someone coming over to meet

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<v Speaker 1>you and she's like, I'm fine. I said, okay, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just letting you know you're gonna reget it. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>I brought you in and her eyes lit up like

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<v Speaker 1>a Christmas tree.

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<v Speaker 2>She was so cute and it feels good though, I

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<v Speaker 2>mean obviously like that. She's very sweet.

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<v Speaker 1>No, she feel good, loves you. Wait, you're not so

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<v Speaker 1>beloved as your other Your character on General Hospital, Drew

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<v Speaker 1>is not he's a bad guy.

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<v Speaker 2>He's not a great human. Actually he's not even he's

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<v Speaker 2>not even like in the in the in the spectrum

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<v Speaker 2>of being like a good guy. He's just a complete How.

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<v Speaker 1>Did they cast you for playing a bad guy?

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<v Speaker 2>They didn't, So so he was a he was a

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<v Speaker 2>hero like I was. I played Drew Kane, who was

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<v Speaker 2>an ex Navy seal, hero, saved the day, best guy,

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<v Speaker 2>all these things. And then there was like this little

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<v Speaker 2>storyline where I was there was a there was a

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<v Speaker 2>character on the show. There is a character on the

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<v Speaker 2>show Nina that Drew and Nina don't get along and

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<v Speaker 2>we hate each other, and we were at odds and

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<v Speaker 2>we had, you know, we were actually having kind of

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<v Speaker 2>hate sex, which was all of a sudden that happened,

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<v Speaker 2>like she ripped my shirt off one day, and so

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<v Speaker 2>then we hated each other after that. It was very,

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<v Speaker 2>very bizarre because because that always happened, and we had

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<v Speaker 2>these scenes and I just kind of laid into her

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<v Speaker 2>for whatever, you know, like verbally, and just like we

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<v Speaker 2>she laid into me too. It was just very dynamic,

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<v Speaker 2>angry scenes. And then I think I make up. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know if this is true, but I make up

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<v Speaker 2>from those series of scenes, They're like, he's kind of

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<v Speaker 2>good at this, like like it's just like I know,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what happened. And then all of a

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<v Speaker 2>sudden they started writing me more and more and more

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<v Speaker 2>and more and more and more down that line, and

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<v Speaker 2>now it's full gone, absolute douchebag jerk, like like corrupt congressman,

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<v Speaker 2>not a good human, had an affair with a mother

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<v Speaker 2>and a daughter blackmailed as best friends. Why he used

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<v Speaker 2>an eleven year old to manipulate? Like like not good?

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<v Speaker 1>Like how do the people feel about this character?

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<v Speaker 2>People hate Drew and they often don't like me either.

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<v Speaker 2>I get I get apples thrown at me in the supermarket. No,

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<v Speaker 2>I had an apple throw me, like for real.

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<v Speaker 1>Like somebody yeah, took an apple off the apple pile

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<v Speaker 1>correct and chucked it at you, Drew Kay, And she grabbed.

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<v Speaker 2>And it was sort of playful but not and she

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<v Speaker 2>was like you're so bad. She threw it at me

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<v Speaker 2>and blocked it, and I was like what And then

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<v Speaker 2>and then I told this story, you know whatever to people,

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<v Speaker 2>and people were like, come on, they a's gonna throw

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<v Speaker 2>an apple. And then I was back in another supermarket

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm looking for something on the shelf and I

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<v Speaker 2>feel somebody beating me on the back with like a

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<v Speaker 2>rolled up magazine. Oh, and I turn around and it's

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<v Speaker 2>one of the employees of the supermarket yelling at me

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<v Speaker 2>for all my bad behavior on General Hospital. And so

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<v Speaker 2>then I pulled out my phone and I just started

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<v Speaker 2>recording her because I thought it was so funny to

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<v Speaker 2>prove that these things are happening. I've had people pull

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<v Speaker 2>their car over to the sidewalk and yell. I felt like,

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<v Speaker 2>we're gonna come right up onto the curb yell at

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<v Speaker 2>me through the window. I've had well, I I'll post

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<v Speaker 2>like the most sweet things with my kids on Instagram

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<v Speaker 2>and the comments will be like, you're disgusting on General Hospital.

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<v Speaker 2>We hate you, we hope you die. Oh that's great.

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<v Speaker 1>Wowsed you know you got street cred now?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I you know, I often wonder why it's

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<v Speaker 2>going so well as such an evil person.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're still on your continuing role.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm still on. There's there's a I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>exactly when this is gonna hear, but there's something that's

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<v Speaker 2>coming up on the show that kind of changes the

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<v Speaker 2>dynamic of everything for Drew, Like you know, it's it

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<v Speaker 2>gets worse, like it gets worse. Everybody hates him, everybody

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<v Speaker 2>wants him dead, and things, some crazy things happen. But

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<v Speaker 2>as far as I know, like you know, it's I'm

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<v Speaker 2>still on the show and I'm not you know, nobody's

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<v Speaker 2>killed me officially yet or have they.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, we'll still It's like the so opera. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>in the sixties, seventies, eighties, they were like everything.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because there was three channels to watch, right and

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<v Speaker 2>then like during the day, people only had those shows

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<v Speaker 2>to watch really and they were they had like our

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<v Speaker 2>primetime rate, well not you're like Beverly Hills prime time ratings,

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<v Speaker 2>but at the time like primetime ratings that we have now.

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<v Speaker 2>And and then through more and more channels on cable

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<v Speaker 2>and then through streaming, we've had to find different ways

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<v Speaker 2>for people to watch. And now they you know, they're

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<v Speaker 2>watching on the phone and they're watching ABC and you know.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's still still doing great.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I want to ask you about the industry, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's pivoted. Things were actors, but we're also now something else.

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<v Speaker 1>I just was curious, like how do you feel being

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<v Speaker 1>a man fluencer?

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<v Speaker 2>A man fluencer?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you like that I made it up?

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<v Speaker 2>You did? You should? That's good. I mean, I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>surprised because you've good like that influencer. I love it.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it because it's like it's how I live

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm not trying to do anything that's not super

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<v Speaker 2>authentic to me and an extension of how I live

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<v Speaker 2>my life or try to. You know, I'm not perfect

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<v Speaker 2>with it all, but I love to share things that

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<v Speaker 2>have worked. I love to share. You've shared journeys that

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<v Speaker 2>you've been through, health journey struggles, things, the ways that

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<v Speaker 2>you've improved and you inspired people, and and I'm getting

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<v Speaker 2>more and more comfortable doing that. And I really, truly

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<v Speaker 2>in my heart know that the things that I've done

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<v Speaker 2>through I've done a lot of things wrong. I know

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<v Speaker 2>what doesn't work. Oh my gosh. I mean, I know

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of things wrong. Some of them will even

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<v Speaker 2>talk about. But I've done a lot of things wrong

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<v Speaker 2>in the health, Like you know, because I was known

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<v Speaker 2>at a young age as being sort of this like

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<v Speaker 2>aesthetically fit looking guy, but really underneath I was super unhealthy,

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<v Speaker 2>like going to extremes and doing a lot of unhealthy

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<v Speaker 2>things to achieve that look. And and when you're young, those

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<v Speaker 2>extremes work for a little while and you can get

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<v Speaker 2>away with it for a while, and then it stops

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<v Speaker 2>working as well, and then you've got to get more

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<v Speaker 2>extreme or do something else to try to get back there.

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<v Speaker 2>And you would, and it wasn't quite as good, but

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<v Speaker 2>then it would work for a while, and then that

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<v Speaker 2>would kind of plateau, and your metabolism would shut down,

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<v Speaker 2>or you'd start gaining more weight, or you'd be inflamed

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<v Speaker 2>or whatever, and you'd just stend it in your God,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're whatever, and then you'd have to shift again

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<v Speaker 2>and another extreme diet or work out or supplement or.

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<v Speaker 3>Whatever it to top it.

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<v Speaker 2>And and you, because you're you're you're in the industry,

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<v Speaker 2>and you've got this pressure, and you've, like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>for me anyway, and I think for you too, you've

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<v Speaker 2>established this kind of norm of what you look like.

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<v Speaker 1>So if that changes at all, if that norm changes

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<v Speaker 1>at all, people, it's like a People magazine article.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's it's a thousand times worse for you

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<v Speaker 2>than it is for me. But it's like, yeah, you're right,

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<v Speaker 2>like you I mean, I'm sure if there's a little

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<v Speaker 2>sliver God for me. You go on vacation for whatever

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<v Speaker 2>the summer, and you come back and you're not looking,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, whatever, the way you did before when you

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<v Speaker 2>had the bikini shoot on nine two one oo or whatever.

0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.320
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna hear about it, and it messes with you,

0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:16.360
<v Speaker 2>and of course we like we should be probably strong

0:11:16.440 --> 0:11:18.480
<v Speaker 2>enough to be like, yeah, I just had a good summer. Guys,

0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:20.800
<v Speaker 2>take it easy, but it kind of gets to you.

0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.559
<v Speaker 2>And so I went to a lot of unhealthy extremes.

0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:26.320
<v Speaker 2>I didn't think they were necessarily on healthy extremes. I

0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 2>just thought it's what people needed to do. I didn't

0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:32.000
<v Speaker 2>know any better. But then eventually everything kind of was

0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:35.839
<v Speaker 2>out of whack. My hormones, my my cortisol, which is

0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:38.760
<v Speaker 2>your stress hormone, my adrenals, my thyroid because your thyroid

0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:43.240
<v Speaker 2>overregulates tries to help everything out. My gut health was

0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:47.720
<v Speaker 2>so disastrous. I had like h parlaia, My microbiome was

0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:51.320
<v Speaker 2>through the roof. I had like mold exposure. I did

0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:54.600
<v Speaker 2>these gut microbiome tests, and people that have seen thousands

0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:56.400
<v Speaker 2>of them said mine was in the top three worst

0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:57.920
<v Speaker 2>they'd ever seen wow cameraon.

0:11:57.960 --> 0:11:59.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm so proud of you.

0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.040
<v Speaker 2>For for you know, and that's a really, really hard

0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:05.600
<v Speaker 2>thing to rebalance. It's people think, oh, you just got

0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:08.360
<v Speaker 2>to take some probiotics and go on carnivore or gone

0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.520
<v Speaker 2>keto for a while and you'll feel and that's true,

0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:14.120
<v Speaker 2>that'll help in the short term, but you're not healing anything.

0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.960
<v Speaker 2>You're not killing the bad bacteria and balancing the microbiome.

0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:23.000
<v Speaker 2>And I started working with a functional health coach that

0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:28.560
<v Speaker 2>was literally like night and day, and I'm like stronger

0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:32.280
<v Speaker 2>and healthier and more energy and have more vitality and

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:35.480
<v Speaker 2>more flexible like then I was. I'm fifty six, and

0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:38.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you, when I was twenty nine, I wasn't

0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:40.360
<v Speaker 2>near like this, Like I wasn't near even when I

0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.080
<v Speaker 2>was esthetically fit looking.

0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:53.160
<v Speaker 1>You weren't as healthy as you are now, not even close. Recently,

0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:55.920
<v Speaker 1>it's been bananas for you.

0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.840
<v Speaker 2>It's been a little bananas. And I've had a stretch

0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.640
<v Speaker 2>where and we all have our stuff and I'm saying

0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:06.720
<v Speaker 2>this like as my stretch and my challenges, but we

0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:10.560
<v Speaker 2>can all relate in different ways. I had so through

0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.360
<v Speaker 2>my going to extremes and being very unhealthy to try

0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.760
<v Speaker 2>to look healthy. I eventually, uh, found out I had

0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:21.880
<v Speaker 2>kidney cancer, and that rocked my world and just blew

0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:26.080
<v Speaker 2>my mind and was very scary and like threatening. Thank goodness,

0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:27.880
<v Speaker 2>I had spread and we dealt with it. And then

0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.400
<v Speaker 2>through that treatment, I found out like my mom while

0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:34.840
<v Speaker 2>she was visiting me in my recovery of kidney cancer,

0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:44.280
<v Speaker 2>figured out that she had brain cancer and uh, and

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:46.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, and then she didn't, she didn't survive. That

0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:49.240
<v Speaker 2>it was a horrible glioblastoma is going to get you,

0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:53.439
<v Speaker 2>and it's still obviously tricky. Yeah, And then so anyway, yes,

0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.880
<v Speaker 2>so I had cancer, my mom. COVID happened somebody very

0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.480
<v Speaker 2>very near and dear that I don't really have the

0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.319
<v Speaker 2>permission and to talk about details. Went through a life

0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:08.920
<v Speaker 2>threatening experience during COVID. Then I lost my job that

0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:14.400
<v Speaker 2>I was a talk show host. And then my wife

0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:18.200
<v Speaker 2>and I for many many years twenty two years, went

0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:20.360
<v Speaker 2>separate ways and it was a surprise to me and

0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:22.640
<v Speaker 2>many of the things about it that was very very

0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:27.680
<v Speaker 2>hard and painful. And then my dog died, and then

0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:30.560
<v Speaker 2>my house burnt down, and I lost everything that I've

0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:33.400
<v Speaker 2>ever owned in every evidence of my life in the

0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.240
<v Speaker 2>ly fires in January and here I am so and

0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.280
<v Speaker 2>that's not all of it, to be honest for that, yeah,

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:41.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and we all again that's my list. We

0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:47.280
<v Speaker 2>all have lists. Yes, So it's been a stretch. I

0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:51.880
<v Speaker 2>tried to stay positive and resilient and inspire others to

0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.360
<v Speaker 2>get through stuff. But it definitely has its moments where

0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:56.880
<v Speaker 2>it's very child as you see, like you know, even

0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:58.560
<v Speaker 2>get an emotional but my mom, I mean, it's you know,

0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:00.240
<v Speaker 2>it's tough. It's tough, and you got to have that.

0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:02.240
<v Speaker 2>You got to have those moments where you feel it

0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.400
<v Speaker 2>and you allow the struggle and you hopefully have tools

0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:10.640
<v Speaker 2>to get through it. But then also focus on things,

0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:14.800
<v Speaker 2>so many things to be grateful for, Compassion for others

0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 2>going through it way worse, like you think about the

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.920
<v Speaker 2>fires and so fifteen thousand different structures burned and houses

0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.960
<v Speaker 2>and families and so, you know, I really try to

0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:30.120
<v Speaker 2>focus on compassion, on gratitude, and then another one for

0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:33.520
<v Speaker 2>me is just real deep acceptance. That's very helpful.

0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:35.840
<v Speaker 1>I know you are very close to your parents, so

0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:37.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm really really sorry about your mom.

0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:41.480
<v Speaker 1>I think that happened right after one of our Christmas

0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:43.640
<v Speaker 1>movies do I recall correctly.

0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:45.160
<v Speaker 2>You did right after a kind hearted Christmas?

0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I think, yeah, yeah, And I'm actually sharing something about

0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:59.280
<v Speaker 1>you in my upcoming book because that you've had such

0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.160
<v Speaker 1>a profound effect on me that we've never even really

0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:06.560
<v Speaker 1>talked about. And I'll just go into that. I remember

0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:10.320
<v Speaker 1>doing the first Christmas movie with you. I have no

0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:15.720
<v Speaker 1>idea what year that was, but you're so like calm

0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:24.240
<v Speaker 1>and so even keeled and so present and so compassionate

0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:29.040
<v Speaker 1>to everybody on the crew, every single person, and you

0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:32.960
<v Speaker 1>had this like stillness about you. And I remember being like,

0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.720
<v Speaker 1>what is this guy's a deal? He's not like a

0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:39.360
<v Speaker 1>typical actor. He's so nice. What's wrong with him? And

0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:41.520
<v Speaker 1>I went up to you and I was like, what's

0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:43.280
<v Speaker 1>your deal? Like why are you so happy?

0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:49.760
<v Speaker 2>I remember that you did. I absolutely remember that because

0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:53.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I really realized that that's how I

0:16:53.240 --> 0:16:56.240
<v Speaker 2>come across, or sometimes come across like that made me.

0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:59.200
<v Speaker 2>It was felt nice to hear that question, you know,

0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:00.840
<v Speaker 2>like it was like it meant a lot to me

0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:03.040
<v Speaker 2>that you came and asked me. That we talked about it.

0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:05.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was like, I want what I want what

0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.879
<v Speaker 1>you have? Like I that's what I want in my life,

0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:11.480
<v Speaker 1>and you shared with me about your journey to finding

0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.000
<v Speaker 1>faith or whatever you want to call it. You told

0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 1>me about the that you study Buddhism, and you told me.

0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:20.040
<v Speaker 1>I asked you all the questions, like what's that like?

0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.120
<v Speaker 1>Are you a Buddhist? Do you have do you have

0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.639
<v Speaker 1>like material things? Have you've given up all your You

0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.879
<v Speaker 1>were laughing at me, and you told me all about

0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.359
<v Speaker 1>where you study and who you study under. And I

0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 1>started going because of you, and that changed my life profoundly.

0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Just my learnings from those Monday night classes.

0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:45.760
<v Speaker 2>It's amazing. Yeah, that's really really amazing and like makes

0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.840
<v Speaker 2>me so happy, and it's it's so true. This like

0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.480
<v Speaker 2>the psychology and sort of philosophy of Buddhist teachings or

0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:57.359
<v Speaker 2>Eastern philosophy. It's it's for everybody, like it's for every

0:17:57.359 --> 0:18:01.639
<v Speaker 2>religion everybody, because it's very it's very much just the

0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.879
<v Speaker 2>logical science of happiness of the mind and how to

0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:07.280
<v Speaker 2>think and how to train your mind through meditation and

0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:13.840
<v Speaker 2>rewire your brain in a sense in really positive, virtuous

0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:19.480
<v Speaker 2>ways of doing things and incorporating that with meditation to

0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:24.640
<v Speaker 2>kind of help get it deeper in your kind of essence,

0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:26.639
<v Speaker 2>so that it's not just like talk therapy. And I

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.879
<v Speaker 2>think that's amazing. Talk therapy is very, very helpful. But

0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:34.040
<v Speaker 2>there's something about sort of that lineage of ancient wisdom

0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:39.360
<v Speaker 2>and then incorporating it with meditation and how we're our

0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:44.040
<v Speaker 2>own sort of personalized research project with it where we

0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:46.280
<v Speaker 2>take a teaching and it's like, all right, let's check

0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:48.000
<v Speaker 2>it out. Let's see if it works. Does it make

0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:51.920
<v Speaker 2>me happier? Does it improve my challenging situations at work?

0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:54.879
<v Speaker 2>Does it make me look at the situation a little different?

0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 2>Am I looking at somebody more with compassion and understanding

0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.239
<v Speaker 2>that they're suffering instead of taking everything personally? And how

0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:02.919
<v Speaker 2>can they be so mean to me? What about me?

0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Like shifting the mind in different skillful ways? Learning to

0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, love? I remember one class I invited you

0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:13.160
<v Speaker 2>to was a class on love. It was something about love?

0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Wait? Were you? Were you the teacher that night?

0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:17.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Man? I don't know? Was I? Wait?

0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:17.959
<v Speaker 1>I don't know?

0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:19.720
<v Speaker 2>But did you come to a class where I taught?

0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.439
<v Speaker 1>I came to a lot of classes. And did we

0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:25.320
<v Speaker 1>sit next I don't think I ever sat next to you.

0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:27.239
<v Speaker 2>No, no, but I remember you coming to class with

0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:28.600
<v Speaker 2>your friend, the makeup.

0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:30.119
<v Speaker 1>Part of them, and then you were teaching.

0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:31.920
<v Speaker 2>I was okay, I don't.

0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:33.600
<v Speaker 1>Know, maybe not that one, but yeah, I taught.

0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:35.439
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah a few times. You're right, that's right.

0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:36.800
<v Speaker 3>I remember what your daughter once.

0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:38.400
<v Speaker 1>And I were going.

0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:40.000
<v Speaker 3>She was coming with me, remember.

0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:44.160
<v Speaker 1>Quite a while, and we walked in and wasn't there. Yeah,

0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:47.920
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't there, and so I was like, wait, what's

0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:51.000
<v Speaker 1>gonna happen? And then you sat down as the teacher,

0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.320
<v Speaker 1>and you and I were cracking up. We were like

0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:54.800
<v Speaker 1>writing little notes to each other.

0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:58.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure you were. I'm sure I can only listen.

0:19:58.000 --> 0:19:59.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm up there saying hey, everybody, how are you doing?

0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:01.200
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for coming, and think you know, this is whatever's

0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:03.479
<v Speaker 2>what we're doing. And in part of my mind, all

0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:05.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking about is, oh my god, Jenny's having a

0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:08.800
<v Speaker 2>riot right now. Don't look at don't know I contact

0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:10.440
<v Speaker 2>to not make eye contact. Yeah.

0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:13.520
<v Speaker 1>It was good. I enjoyed it, and I learned from you.

0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:17.600
<v Speaker 2>And I remember one reaction you said it was like

0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:19.679
<v Speaker 2>because it was a class on love that I know.

0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:21.600
<v Speaker 2>This was when the center was back at the other place,

0:20:21.840 --> 0:20:23.640
<v Speaker 2>and you were like, why do you think I need love?

0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:26.679
<v Speaker 2>When my like it was something like you you were joking,

0:20:26.840 --> 0:20:29.959
<v Speaker 2>but you were sort of saying that, and then quickly

0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:32.840
<v Speaker 2>realized that from a Budhist perspective, love is just like

0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:36.200
<v Speaker 2>feeling a warm, close connection to everybody and like caring

0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:38.480
<v Speaker 2>about others and cherishing them and wishing for them to

0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:42.560
<v Speaker 2>be happy, and and it actually is the most sort

0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:46.520
<v Speaker 2>of pure form of you know, love or you know,

0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:49.760
<v Speaker 2>just general care for others. And that's what the class

0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 2>was all, not necessarily romantic love. In fact, I don't

0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:55.760
<v Speaker 2>think anywhere in Buddhism teachings teachers, Yeah, like work on

0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:58.280
<v Speaker 2>your relationship, Well it does directly, Yeah.

0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:01.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it applies to all of your Yeah, because in

0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:04.080
<v Speaker 4>many cases, one of the things that we try to,

0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:08.080
<v Speaker 4>you know, look at is how you know this mind

0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:11.479
<v Speaker 4>of what we call attachment or desirous attachment, which is

0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:12.400
<v Speaker 4>like what.

0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:15.560
<v Speaker 2>Can you do for me? Versus the mind of love,

0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:17.560
<v Speaker 2>like what can I do for you? Like how are

0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:21.880
<v Speaker 2>you like like shifting that mental attitude And a lot

0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:26.159
<v Speaker 2>of our relationships, of course, are us expecting others to

0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:29.399
<v Speaker 2>kind of make us happy versus like the mind that

0:21:29.480 --> 0:21:32.520
<v Speaker 2>wishes others to be happy. And you know, in doing so,

0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:36.480
<v Speaker 2>we end up taking care of ourselves too, Like that's

0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:38.400
<v Speaker 2>the beauty. That's the beauty of it. The back door

0:21:38.400 --> 0:21:42.720
<v Speaker 2>effect of learning to shift the mind and really caring

0:21:42.760 --> 0:21:45.600
<v Speaker 2>and connecting them compassion and love and thinking about others

0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:50.439
<v Speaker 2>and respect and patience and kindness is that we end

0:21:50.520 --> 0:21:53.760
<v Speaker 2>up being so much happier and our relationships improve. And

0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:55.919
<v Speaker 2>you're like, wait a minute, this was always the answer. No.

0:21:56.320 --> 0:21:58.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean because I've studied all kinds of religions trying

0:21:58.440 --> 0:22:02.960
<v Speaker 1>to figure it out over the years, and nothing really

0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:06.560
<v Speaker 1>like worked inside of me. Nothing made sense to me.

0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:09.280
<v Speaker 1>But the day I sat down in a Buddhist class,

0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:11.600
<v Speaker 1>everything he said made sense to me.

0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:15.879
<v Speaker 2>That's amazing. I had the same experience. It was. I

0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:19.840
<v Speaker 2>studied engineering, right, so I studied like logic in science

0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:23.440
<v Speaker 2>and math. And that's one of the reasons I struggled

0:22:23.440 --> 0:22:26.960
<v Speaker 2>with different teachings and religions. And I actually have lots

0:22:27.000 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 2>and lots of love and admiration for all of them.

0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:33.480
<v Speaker 2>But like you say, when I got these teachings, it

0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:39.120
<v Speaker 2>was very logical and step by step clear and laid out,

0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:40.920
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh, this is what I need,

0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:44.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, And everybody kind of is attracted to different things.

0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 2>But that's helpful for me.

0:22:46.119 --> 0:22:48.520
<v Speaker 1>I know. I don't say I'm a Buddhist because I

0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:52.320
<v Speaker 1>think people instantly leap to like the extreme with that.

0:22:52.520 --> 0:22:56.840
<v Speaker 2>Always, always they're like, no, you're not. I'm like, well, okay, yeah, yeah,

0:22:56.920 --> 0:22:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm like fine, I still have a you know, well

0:22:59.600 --> 0:23:02.359
<v Speaker 2>I don't have as much anymore as it, but in general,

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:04.200
<v Speaker 2>like I have a lot of possession. But that was

0:23:04.280 --> 0:23:06.600
<v Speaker 2>an interesting thing too, speaking of like so the big

0:23:06.600 --> 0:23:09.280
<v Speaker 2>misconceptionsism is like no possessions and like live in a

0:23:09.320 --> 0:23:12.840
<v Speaker 2>cave and like all right, and that's not it at all.

0:23:12.880 --> 0:23:16.480
<v Speaker 2>It's more so just so people understand, you know, it's

0:23:16.560 --> 0:23:20.880
<v Speaker 2>more like your your your relationship with nice things and

0:23:20.920 --> 0:23:24.320
<v Speaker 2>having things. It's not being needing them and and having

0:23:24.640 --> 0:23:28.320
<v Speaker 2>the mindset that these things are going to make me happy,

0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:31.360
<v Speaker 2>like I need this and this and this and this

0:23:31.480 --> 0:23:35.359
<v Speaker 2>and this and attention and validation and money and to

0:23:35.720 --> 0:23:40.960
<v Speaker 2>make me happy, versus having these things and enjoying them

0:23:41.040 --> 0:23:45.159
<v Speaker 2>purely and knowing that you could be happy with or

0:23:45.200 --> 0:23:50.480
<v Speaker 2>without them. And I now know because I lost everything, Jenny,

0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:57.080
<v Speaker 2>like everything on January eighth. I had nothing I had.

0:23:57.320 --> 0:23:58.600
<v Speaker 2>It's not the kind of thing where I had some

0:23:58.640 --> 0:24:00.680
<v Speaker 2>stuff at my mom's house or oh, but in a

0:24:00.760 --> 0:24:05.440
<v Speaker 2>basement back home I have everything was gone. I had

0:24:05.440 --> 0:24:12.199
<v Speaker 2>my car, I had my phone. Jesus, clearly I got

0:24:12.200 --> 0:24:15.040
<v Speaker 2>all work to do on this. Oh I had what

0:24:15.080 --> 0:24:19.800
<v Speaker 2>I was wearing, and that's it. And like in that moment,

0:24:20.440 --> 0:24:23.479
<v Speaker 2>it was very like I muted the videos on my

0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:27.119
<v Speaker 2>Instagram because I was videoing it for Vanessa and for

0:24:27.240 --> 0:24:28.800
<v Speaker 2>my dad like I wanted to, because I was just

0:24:28.920 --> 0:24:30.399
<v Speaker 2>checking to see if our house was still there. And

0:24:30.440 --> 0:24:32.760
<v Speaker 2>then I drove up and it was gone, still burning,

0:24:33.720 --> 0:24:35.400
<v Speaker 2>and I was in shock, and I was like, I've

0:24:35.440 --> 0:24:37.439
<v Speaker 2>never heard noises come out of me like that, Like

0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:41.200
<v Speaker 2>it was very bizarre. It was like, I mean, I

0:24:41.440 --> 0:24:46.040
<v Speaker 2>suppose I was just gasping for error in shock, but

0:24:46.200 --> 0:24:50.919
<v Speaker 2>there was like this other momentary feeling that came in

0:24:50.960 --> 0:24:55.719
<v Speaker 2>and out where it was like kind of feeling liberated,

0:24:56.320 --> 0:25:02.359
<v Speaker 2>like like now it's I don't know, like all the

0:25:02.480 --> 0:25:06.760
<v Speaker 2>stuff and accumulation and more and more and more. And

0:25:06.920 --> 0:25:09.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you've experienced it, but the more

0:25:10.960 --> 0:25:12.959
<v Speaker 2>money you have or whatever, the more kind of you

0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:15.919
<v Speaker 2>want and stuff you get. And at least for me,

0:25:16.640 --> 0:25:18.480
<v Speaker 2>and I've gone through waves of that and worked on

0:25:18.560 --> 0:25:22.240
<v Speaker 2>it and through my spiritual life. But in that moment

0:25:23.160 --> 0:25:32.000
<v Speaker 2>I had nothing like possession was and like like I

0:25:32.040 --> 0:25:33.880
<v Speaker 2>knew I was gonna be okay. Like I was very

0:25:33.960 --> 0:25:38.240
<v Speaker 2>very hard and painful, and I struggled a lot, especially

0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:40.520
<v Speaker 2>with my kids. With respect to my kids and the

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:44.480
<v Speaker 2>evidence of their childhood and everything. That was by far

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:47.960
<v Speaker 2>the worst, Jenny, than all of their birth photos, all

0:25:48.040 --> 0:25:49.960
<v Speaker 2>the film, because you know that when our kids were little,

0:25:50.000 --> 0:25:52.880
<v Speaker 2>they was all film. So all that's gone. They've got

0:25:52.960 --> 0:25:56.239
<v Speaker 2>no photos at all until we have digital, none, no

0:25:56.320 --> 0:25:59.080
<v Speaker 2>evidence of their Yeah, it's that's a tough one.

0:25:59.200 --> 0:26:02.840
<v Speaker 1>That I'm so sorry, Like that is tough, but I

0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:07.080
<v Speaker 1>understand what you're saying. Yeah, you're starting from ground zero

0:26:07.640 --> 0:26:10.080
<v Speaker 1>and now you actually and also that's all that was

0:26:10.160 --> 0:26:12.879
<v Speaker 1>right on the heels I think of your divorce.

0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:19.440
<v Speaker 2>It was, Yeah, that we had been separated for about

0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:23.960
<v Speaker 2>a year and a half officially at that point, maybe

0:26:24.040 --> 0:26:27.440
<v Speaker 2>a little bit longer, but still felt very fresh. And

0:26:28.040 --> 0:26:30.080
<v Speaker 2>we're still working. I mean, we're still working through stuff.

0:26:30.119 --> 0:26:40.480
<v Speaker 1>So do you think in the aftermath, like the way

0:26:40.560 --> 0:26:43.800
<v Speaker 1>the fire affected you and your whole family, do you

0:26:43.840 --> 0:26:49.479
<v Speaker 1>think that ended up bringing closer relationships within the family

0:26:51.080 --> 0:26:54.600
<v Speaker 1>because especially if you can imagine going through something like

0:26:54.640 --> 0:26:58.760
<v Speaker 1>that with my partner and feeling all the feelings, then

0:26:58.840 --> 0:27:02.400
<v Speaker 1>to have to go through some think that devastating. And

0:27:02.680 --> 0:27:08.439
<v Speaker 1>only this family that lived there together understands.

0:27:09.080 --> 0:27:09.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure I.

0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:10.600
<v Speaker 1>Feel like it.

0:27:10.600 --> 0:27:14.920
<v Speaker 2>It must have a thousand person that's it's very, very

0:27:14.920 --> 0:27:20.399
<v Speaker 2>in line with our experience, especially Vanessa and I. You know, again,

0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:22.920
<v Speaker 2>there was it was a tricky time when we separated,

0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:25.000
<v Speaker 2>and there was a lot of specific conditions that made

0:27:25.040 --> 0:27:29.280
<v Speaker 2>it made it really tough. You know, you said it

0:27:29.320 --> 0:27:31.000
<v Speaker 2>was a surprise to hear it for you. It was

0:27:31.000 --> 0:27:33.919
<v Speaker 2>a surprise to me too, and those are the worst

0:27:34.240 --> 0:27:37.560
<v Speaker 2>and we just you know, we have a lot of

0:27:37.680 --> 0:27:39.040
<v Speaker 2>love for each other, but there was also a lot

0:27:39.080 --> 0:27:41.600
<v Speaker 2>of pain that time. And I really feel and I

0:27:41.600 --> 0:27:43.560
<v Speaker 2>think I think I can speak you know, for Vanessa

0:27:43.720 --> 0:27:48.000
<v Speaker 2>as well, because we've talked about this, and in that

0:27:48.040 --> 0:27:50.280
<v Speaker 2>moment after the fire, like I stayed in the kids

0:27:50.400 --> 0:27:54.199
<v Speaker 2>room where, you know, in her place, and it was

0:27:54.240 --> 0:28:00.679
<v Speaker 2>as if the post breakup timeline, which takes time, hopefully

0:28:00.760 --> 0:28:02.959
<v Speaker 2>for most people to like, you know, eventually hopefully they

0:28:02.960 --> 0:28:04.520
<v Speaker 2>get to a place where they get along and they

0:28:04.840 --> 0:28:09.560
<v Speaker 2>co parent and everything's great. Or whatever, everything's you know good.

0:28:10.480 --> 0:28:13.479
<v Speaker 2>It was as if that going through that together just

0:28:13.640 --> 0:28:17.480
<v Speaker 2>like erased a lot of the negativity and just brought

0:28:17.560 --> 0:28:19.920
<v Speaker 2>us really like it just kind of shortened that timeline

0:28:19.960 --> 0:28:22.320
<v Speaker 2>and we kind of got to this real place of

0:28:22.359 --> 0:28:24.560
<v Speaker 2>love and care and support and we're there for each

0:28:24.560 --> 0:28:29.200
<v Speaker 2>other and cried and talked and hugged and not in

0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:32.600
<v Speaker 2>a oh we're going to get back together kind of way,

0:28:32.800 --> 0:28:36.199
<v Speaker 2>just like a really close like nobody else knew what

0:28:36.200 --> 0:28:37.879
<v Speaker 2>we were going through, and that bond.

0:28:38.320 --> 0:28:40.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there was a really it was your life in

0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:41.760
<v Speaker 1>that house and exactly.

0:28:41.560 --> 0:28:44.000
<v Speaker 2>Exactly like the kids were literally raising that house. It's

0:28:44.040 --> 0:28:47.040
<v Speaker 2>where all, you know, our relationship for the most part,

0:28:47.120 --> 0:28:49.080
<v Speaker 2>was all in that house fifteen years or so of

0:28:49.120 --> 0:28:53.480
<v Speaker 2>the twenty two and yeah, so I so yes, and

0:28:53.520 --> 0:28:56.280
<v Speaker 2>then also the kids too, we had Yeah, the kids

0:28:56.320 --> 0:29:00.480
<v Speaker 2>were in school and overseas, and so it's been a

0:29:00.480 --> 0:29:03.520
<v Speaker 2>little bit kind of choppy with how they've done their

0:29:03.560 --> 0:29:06.720
<v Speaker 2>healing around it too, versus like coming home or but

0:29:06.840 --> 0:29:11.040
<v Speaker 2>mostly through this summer since they've been back, and it's

0:29:11.080 --> 0:29:13.440
<v Speaker 2>been really it's been really beautiful and it's been really

0:29:13.480 --> 0:29:18.240
<v Speaker 2>healing for all of us. And yeah, and also remembering

0:29:18.440 --> 0:29:22.360
<v Speaker 2>you know what really truly is important and being able

0:29:22.440 --> 0:29:28.160
<v Speaker 2>to really feel things and talk about them and that's okay,

0:29:28.440 --> 0:29:33.880
<v Speaker 2>and the pain and the fear and the anger, the sadness,

0:29:34.080 --> 0:29:40.800
<v Speaker 2>the frustration, Yeah, and just kind of getting it out

0:29:40.840 --> 0:29:45.120
<v Speaker 2>as well as understanding that these challenges I really believe

0:29:45.160 --> 0:29:48.560
<v Speaker 2>are going to make the kids and hopefully the adults

0:29:50.040 --> 0:29:53.000
<v Speaker 2>much stronger, you know, like, you know, just it's almost

0:29:53.080 --> 0:29:55.480
<v Speaker 2>the ultimate resilience training. They you know, I talk about

0:29:55.480 --> 0:29:57.440
<v Speaker 2>all the things I've been through in the last four years,

0:29:58.840 --> 0:30:01.960
<v Speaker 2>They've been through exactly those things too. Their dad having

0:30:02.000 --> 0:30:04.120
<v Speaker 2>cancer and thinking maybe he's not going to make it,

0:30:04.160 --> 0:30:07.200
<v Speaker 2>then their mom, their grandmother dying of a horrible brain

0:30:07.280 --> 0:30:10.160
<v Speaker 2>cancer journey, and then COVID during the pivotal years of

0:30:10.240 --> 0:30:13.400
<v Speaker 2>high school, et cetera. And then this other thing that

0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:15.440
<v Speaker 2>I talked about that you know, it's a little bit

0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:18.720
<v Speaker 2>more private, and then their their relationship this parent, their

0:30:18.760 --> 0:30:22.040
<v Speaker 2>parents like breaking up when they never thought that would

0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:24.080
<v Speaker 2>ever happen, and then their dog dying, and then they're

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:27.800
<v Speaker 2>like they've been through it and like, hopefully I've got

0:30:27.840 --> 0:30:31.000
<v Speaker 2>more skills and I mean, yeah, you do. And so

0:30:32.080 --> 0:30:36.960
<v Speaker 2>it's been an amazing I don't know, amazing experience for

0:30:37.040 --> 0:30:43.640
<v Speaker 2>me to see how incredible and resilient. And I think

0:30:43.800 --> 0:30:46.680
<v Speaker 2>in a sense like wise they've been through this, you know,

0:30:46.720 --> 0:30:50.600
<v Speaker 2>and not always right. But what they haven't resorted to

0:30:50.600 --> 0:30:53.320
<v Speaker 2>to numb the pain, you know, what they haven't you know,

0:30:53.480 --> 0:30:57.200
<v Speaker 2>like these days, kids can go a lot of different

0:30:57.200 --> 0:31:01.320
<v Speaker 2>directions to not feel you know, kin adults for that matter.

0:31:02.920 --> 0:31:05.320
<v Speaker 2>It can be as simple as like phone and screens

0:31:05.320 --> 0:31:08.480
<v Speaker 2>and video games, or it can be you know, substances

0:31:08.480 --> 0:31:12.920
<v Speaker 2>and et cetera. And they've been pretty amazing and we

0:31:13.440 --> 0:31:17.480
<v Speaker 2>really tried to keep the communication open and it's it's

0:31:17.480 --> 0:31:18.200
<v Speaker 2>been great. Yeah.

0:31:18.240 --> 0:31:20.200
<v Speaker 1>I love it when you post pictures of you having

0:31:20.280 --> 0:31:23.680
<v Speaker 1>fun with them now. It's just so touching because I

0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:25.640
<v Speaker 1>know how close your bond is with them, and I

0:31:25.760 --> 0:31:28.400
<v Speaker 1>know all the things that you guys have dealt with

0:31:28.640 --> 0:31:35.160
<v Speaker 1>and how strong and resilient they are and gorgeous. But Hi,

0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:38.719
<v Speaker 1>you're an empty nester. Now they're gone. They're abroad, I know,

0:31:38.840 --> 0:31:41.440
<v Speaker 1>like way they're not just you know, in another state.

0:31:41.640 --> 0:31:44.440
<v Speaker 2>Isn't that crazy, Like I mean, you know, because you've

0:31:44.480 --> 0:31:46.800
<v Speaker 2>experienced this too, But no, they're they're on there. So

0:31:46.880 --> 0:31:48.920
<v Speaker 2>my daughter's in Paris and my sons in London are

0:31:48.920 --> 0:31:53.080
<v Speaker 2>studying it really to two different programs obviously, and you know,

0:31:53.480 --> 0:31:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Dog's gone. Relationships over, like it's a real the house

0:31:57.040 --> 0:32:00.400
<v Speaker 2>has gone, possessions gone, like it's a real fresh start,

0:32:00.520 --> 0:32:01.400
<v Speaker 2>Like here we go.

0:32:01.360 --> 0:32:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Like how are you doing? What are you doing to

0:32:03.680 --> 0:32:07.680
<v Speaker 1>design your new life? Like this is a transition, This

0:32:07.760 --> 0:32:10.239
<v Speaker 1>is like a hard pivot. This is like a this

0:32:10.280 --> 0:32:11.080
<v Speaker 1>is brand new.

0:32:11.240 --> 0:32:14.120
<v Speaker 2>It's sort of like it's it's like a forced hard pivot.

0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:17.160
<v Speaker 2>It's like it's like I'm speeding along this road and

0:32:17.200 --> 0:32:18.440
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm going to be on it for the

0:32:18.440 --> 0:32:20.280
<v Speaker 2>rest of this stretch of this journey, like I'm just

0:32:20.360 --> 0:32:22.240
<v Speaker 2>making this up as I go. But then there's like

0:32:23.440 --> 0:32:26.240
<v Speaker 2>around this corner there's like a hard hairpin turn that

0:32:26.320 --> 0:32:28.000
<v Speaker 2>I got to make or others I'm going right off

0:32:28.000 --> 0:32:30.160
<v Speaker 2>this cliff kind of thing, and it sort of feels

0:32:30.200 --> 0:32:34.200
<v Speaker 2>like that. And I haven't been great, I think after

0:32:34.240 --> 0:32:39.280
<v Speaker 2>the fire, like I've been very very positive and uh,

0:32:40.160 --> 0:32:42.360
<v Speaker 2>what's the word I'm looking for, almost like practical and

0:32:42.400 --> 0:32:46.280
<v Speaker 2>doing like taking a lot of really good steps to

0:32:46.440 --> 0:32:49.800
<v Speaker 2>heal and get through, especially the breakup and all of that.

0:32:50.080 --> 0:32:53.680
<v Speaker 2>And then when the fires happened, it almost felt like

0:32:54.400 --> 0:32:56.640
<v Speaker 2>it was the straw that broke the camel's back, and

0:32:56.680 --> 0:33:00.160
<v Speaker 2>I kind of did distract myself and numb out, and

0:33:00.200 --> 0:33:02.080
<v Speaker 2>I didn't go to my classes as much, and I

0:33:02.120 --> 0:33:05.160
<v Speaker 2>wasn't relying on my spiritual life and my meditation. Is

0:33:05.360 --> 0:33:09.000
<v Speaker 2>it was almost like, you know, I don't know if

0:33:09.000 --> 0:33:10.280
<v Speaker 2>I can say this, but fuck it. Like it was

0:33:10.320 --> 0:33:14.160
<v Speaker 2>almost like, yeah, it was almost like just too much.

0:33:14.760 --> 0:33:17.000
<v Speaker 1>How long did that period last for you? Oh my god,

0:33:17.000 --> 0:33:22.400
<v Speaker 1>you're making me cry all day? Sorry, then you're making

0:33:22.400 --> 0:33:23.960
<v Speaker 1>me cry.

0:33:24.080 --> 0:33:27.040
<v Speaker 2>It it lasted off and on, like it wasn't like

0:33:27.120 --> 0:33:33.240
<v Speaker 2>a solid stretch, but a good a good six months.

0:33:33.240 --> 0:33:35.880
<v Speaker 2>And I think I'm just kind of now coming out

0:33:35.920 --> 0:33:39.200
<v Speaker 2>of it. Like in a way, I did like a

0:33:39.280 --> 0:33:43.640
<v Speaker 2>nice retreat this summer in England and like a meditation retreat,

0:33:43.720 --> 0:33:48.120
<v Speaker 2>and I had a lot kind of alone and healing

0:33:48.160 --> 0:33:52.640
<v Speaker 2>time with the kids and traveled and we did some

0:33:52.840 --> 0:33:55.480
<v Speaker 2>sort of a closure sort of therapy on the property

0:33:55.520 --> 0:34:00.200
<v Speaker 2>in Altadena and some things that have helped really kind

0:34:00.200 --> 0:34:02.880
<v Speaker 2>of be more productive. That's the word I was thinking

0:34:02.880 --> 0:34:05.360
<v Speaker 2>of productive. I'll say this, I haven't really talked much

0:34:05.360 --> 0:34:09.879
<v Speaker 2>about this, Like I didn't drink or use any mind

0:34:09.920 --> 0:34:15.040
<v Speaker 2>altering substances for eighteen years because you chose. I chose

0:34:15.080 --> 0:34:17.640
<v Speaker 2>not to, so I you know, I don't consider myself

0:34:17.680 --> 0:34:23.000
<v Speaker 2>necessarily an addict in those ways, but there was a

0:34:23.000 --> 0:34:25.120
<v Speaker 2>period of my life, short period of my life, thankfully,

0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:29.080
<v Speaker 2>where they certainly weren't helping me making good decisions. And

0:34:29.200 --> 0:34:32.040
<v Speaker 2>I made the very strong deterence when I found but

0:34:32.160 --> 0:34:34.400
<v Speaker 2>as teachings and meditation, and I started trying to like

0:34:34.440 --> 0:34:38.320
<v Speaker 2>sort of solve my inner problems with like with inner

0:34:38.680 --> 0:34:43.400
<v Speaker 2>solutions versus outer solutions like numbing out, and it was

0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:46.880
<v Speaker 2>very like helpful for me. But anyway, so I stayed

0:34:46.880 --> 0:34:51.640
<v Speaker 2>away from all stuff that became to not be good

0:34:51.640 --> 0:34:53.359
<v Speaker 2>for me, and alcohol was not a big one of them.

0:34:53.360 --> 0:34:55.759
<v Speaker 2>But I just cut alcohol out too for eighteen years.

0:34:55.800 --> 0:35:01.759
<v Speaker 2>And then when the conditions of the separation happened, I

0:35:02.000 --> 0:35:04.520
<v Speaker 2>kind of like, you know, I had a drink for

0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:08.000
<v Speaker 2>the first time, and I luckily I don't really like alcohol.

0:35:08.080 --> 0:35:10.359
<v Speaker 2>I don't like drinking, which is a very fortunate thing.

0:35:12.920 --> 0:35:14.960
<v Speaker 2>But I probably had like a handful of drinks in

0:35:15.480 --> 0:35:19.560
<v Speaker 2>a year and a half of my separation, just casually

0:35:19.600 --> 0:35:20.960
<v Speaker 2>and probably not even finishing them.

0:35:21.080 --> 0:35:23.240
<v Speaker 1>And that's not I mean, that's nothing it's.

0:35:23.200 --> 0:35:26.120
<v Speaker 2>It's really I mean to most people. To me was

0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:28.879
<v Speaker 2>it was something because it was indicular. But I will say,

0:35:29.320 --> 0:35:33.000
<v Speaker 2>so we're talking about not being as skillful after the fires,

0:35:33.760 --> 0:35:37.320
<v Speaker 2>I noticed that that was happening a little bit more often.

0:35:38.200 --> 0:35:41.200
<v Speaker 2>And again, if you're like like, people will laugh at

0:35:41.200 --> 0:35:46.080
<v Speaker 2>me because it would be like, you know, three drinks

0:35:46.080 --> 0:35:48.919
<v Speaker 2>a week or whatever, like, but for.

0:35:48.880 --> 0:35:54.920
<v Speaker 1>Me, that's like, you're about taking care of yourself and.

0:35:54.880 --> 0:35:58.520
<v Speaker 2>It's and it's also so about like it's more because

0:35:58.520 --> 0:36:01.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm I'm it was more about I was

0:36:01.560 --> 0:36:05.919
<v Speaker 2>looking forward to it. It was more about all I'd

0:36:06.000 --> 0:36:09.880
<v Speaker 2>like to have, like that's new to me, Like even

0:36:10.160 --> 0:36:12.560
<v Speaker 2>back in the day when I like, I never thought

0:36:12.600 --> 0:36:18.400
<v Speaker 2>about yeah, like exactly, so I noticed that it was

0:36:18.440 --> 0:36:20.239
<v Speaker 2>like part of my mind, this is a small part,

0:36:20.280 --> 0:36:22.000
<v Speaker 2>but part of my mind was kind of looking forward

0:36:22.080 --> 0:36:23.680
<v Speaker 2>to it. And that was a big red flag for me.

0:36:23.760 --> 0:36:26.440
<v Speaker 2>And it was like, oh, so you know it was

0:36:26.840 --> 0:36:28.640
<v Speaker 2>Fortunately for me, it's a very easy thing to kind

0:36:28.640 --> 0:36:29.759
<v Speaker 2>of just shut down again.

0:36:30.400 --> 0:36:32.600
<v Speaker 1>But I mean, I think for so many people who

0:36:32.600 --> 0:36:37.000
<v Speaker 1>do struggle with severe addictions, yes, this sounds like nothing,

0:36:37.120 --> 0:36:39.120
<v Speaker 1>but for you, it was something.

0:36:39.239 --> 0:36:44.040
<v Speaker 2>And it's also maybe like yes, for sure, So not

0:36:44.520 --> 0:36:50.000
<v Speaker 2>minimizing somebody who's because if you have a history of addiction,

0:36:50.200 --> 0:36:53.680
<v Speaker 2>like having that one drink could ruin your whole life.

0:36:53.840 --> 0:36:56.480
<v Speaker 2>And so please don't take this like that was not

0:36:56.560 --> 0:36:58.719
<v Speaker 2>a thing for me, clearly, and this is an indication.

0:37:00.480 --> 0:37:04.200
<v Speaker 2>But I didn't like it, Like I was like, I don't.

0:37:04.280 --> 0:37:07.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't. That's a that's a that's a bizarre for

0:37:07.280 --> 0:37:10.040
<v Speaker 2>me for me to kind of like want that or

0:37:10.040 --> 0:37:11.920
<v Speaker 2>to numb out or look forward to that. It was

0:37:11.960 --> 0:37:15.080
<v Speaker 2>an indication that I wasn't using the tools and the

0:37:15.120 --> 0:37:17.319
<v Speaker 2>things that I had developed in the last twenty years

0:37:17.320 --> 0:37:19.400
<v Speaker 2>of my life to become a better person and to

0:37:19.440 --> 0:37:22.759
<v Speaker 2>try to like deal with challenges and problems in a

0:37:22.760 --> 0:37:27.279
<v Speaker 2>more productive and effective way. And at the same time,

0:37:27.360 --> 0:37:29.759
<v Speaker 2>I was being very gentle with myself, like I was

0:37:30.320 --> 0:37:35.759
<v Speaker 2>just noticing it and being aware of it, and and

0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:41.640
<v Speaker 2>then eventually I eventually like I just kind of stopped.

0:37:41.640 --> 0:37:45.279
<v Speaker 2>And I prefer that, Yeah, Like I I wear this

0:37:45.320 --> 0:37:49.280
<v Speaker 2>little help like fitness tracker. It's called Whoop and Whoop.

0:37:49.440 --> 0:37:51.560
<v Speaker 2>I like that, and it's a really good one. It's

0:37:51.560 --> 0:37:54.280
<v Speaker 2>a very very effective one. I don't work for them.

0:37:54.800 --> 0:37:57.680
<v Speaker 2>And I noticed that when even if I had half

0:37:57.719 --> 0:38:00.000
<v Speaker 2>a drink or something like my numbers, my sleep quality,

0:38:00.280 --> 0:38:03.279
<v Speaker 2>my hr my heart rate variability, my blood oxygen level,

0:38:03.280 --> 0:38:06.600
<v Speaker 2>and my heart rate. All of it was like shot,

0:38:06.840 --> 0:38:09.840
<v Speaker 2>Like my recovery was in the red, like just a

0:38:09.960 --> 0:38:11.839
<v Speaker 2>drink because I'm so sensitive to it.

0:38:11.920 --> 0:38:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you're so on top of what's going on

0:38:14.719 --> 0:38:15.799
<v Speaker 1>with your body now, and.

0:38:15.760 --> 0:38:17.920
<v Speaker 2>Now it's been like weeks and weeks or months where

0:38:17.960 --> 0:38:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I haven't and I'm in the green and my numbers

0:38:21.040 --> 0:38:22.879
<v Speaker 2>are great, and I'm like, this is what I want

0:38:22.920 --> 0:38:25.360
<v Speaker 2>to be and I feel fresh, and you know, I

0:38:25.400 --> 0:38:28.000
<v Speaker 2>want to like, yeah, I want to be able to

0:38:28.080 --> 0:38:33.400
<v Speaker 2>resist a craving that I know isn't in the direction

0:38:33.480 --> 0:38:34.640
<v Speaker 2>of who I want to be, Like, I want to

0:38:34.640 --> 0:38:35.839
<v Speaker 2>be able to sit with it and be like, I'm

0:38:35.840 --> 0:38:38.120
<v Speaker 2>feeling this coming up, So how can I handle this?

0:38:38.200 --> 0:38:39.640
<v Speaker 2>Do I have to act on it? Do I want

0:38:39.640 --> 0:38:41.000
<v Speaker 2>to act on it? Do I want to have? What

0:38:41.080 --> 0:38:43.279
<v Speaker 2>are my other options? And I just try to take

0:38:43.280 --> 0:38:46.319
<v Speaker 2>my time and be mindful of it, and you know,

0:38:46.680 --> 0:38:49.279
<v Speaker 2>and it's it's better for me, Like.

0:38:49.239 --> 0:38:50.440
<v Speaker 1>You're back on the rails.

0:38:50.719 --> 0:38:52.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I definitely back on the rails.

0:38:53.440 --> 0:38:57.759
<v Speaker 1>I like Cameron on the rails. Me too, yeah, me to,

0:38:58.719 --> 0:39:02.520
<v Speaker 1>and I know that you're your spirituality had to have

0:39:02.600 --> 0:39:05.839
<v Speaker 1>been a big part of helping you through that. I

0:39:05.840 --> 0:39:07.160
<v Speaker 1>can only imagine.

0:39:08.400 --> 0:39:10.200
<v Speaker 2>I think it probably saved my life, like it was.

0:39:11.680 --> 0:39:18.759
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to be dramatic, you're an actor, man,

0:39:18.840 --> 0:39:19.480
<v Speaker 3>it felt like it.

0:39:19.440 --> 0:39:22.759
<v Speaker 2>Did, like especially in the breakup, especially you know, in

0:39:22.800 --> 0:39:29.640
<v Speaker 2>the separation, I was in a lot of pain.

0:39:30.680 --> 0:39:34.000
<v Speaker 1>What was your lowest? Will you tell me? Because I've

0:39:34.000 --> 0:39:34.920
<v Speaker 1>had a lot of lows.

0:39:35.480 --> 0:39:38.080
<v Speaker 2>I know, yeah, I know, I talked a little bit about.

0:39:38.120 --> 0:39:40.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know the details, but you think it was

0:39:40.920 --> 0:39:42.000
<v Speaker 1>the separation.

0:39:43.120 --> 0:39:47.200
<v Speaker 2>The low for me? Wow, that's tricky because that morning

0:39:47.200 --> 0:39:48.879
<v Speaker 2>at the house when I walked up there, that had

0:39:48.920 --> 0:39:52.719
<v Speaker 2>to have been a massive low. But also in a

0:39:52.840 --> 0:39:56.560
<v Speaker 2>weird way, it was it was as if kind of

0:39:56.800 --> 0:39:58.719
<v Speaker 2>whatever you want to say, but the universe was sort

0:39:58.719 --> 0:40:03.720
<v Speaker 2>of saying like, no, you really need like a fresh

0:40:03.960 --> 0:40:08.120
<v Speaker 2>fresh start, like you need to start over, like relationship gone,

0:40:08.320 --> 0:40:12.320
<v Speaker 2>kids out of the house, dog gone, house gone, possessions gone,

0:40:12.520 --> 0:40:16.440
<v Speaker 2>health jeopardized. Who are you now? Like what are you

0:40:16.480 --> 0:40:20.520
<v Speaker 2>going to do now? So even though that on paper

0:40:20.560 --> 0:40:22.680
<v Speaker 2>would feel like the ultimate low, and maybe it is

0:40:22.719 --> 0:40:28.280
<v Speaker 2>in one level emotionally close to that, or maybe even

0:40:28.320 --> 0:40:33.160
<v Speaker 2>lower was the breakup when it wasn't officially yet, but

0:40:33.280 --> 0:40:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I knew things weren't good. Like I was living in

0:40:35.960 --> 0:40:40.120
<v Speaker 2>our little guesthouse and my dog had cancer and was paralyzed.

0:40:40.160 --> 0:40:42.480
<v Speaker 2>He's like beautiful dober Men and he couldn't use his

0:40:42.520 --> 0:40:47.080
<v Speaker 2>back legs, and so I was like in so much pain,

0:40:47.160 --> 0:40:51.960
<v Speaker 2>not sleeping, my mind going. My dog was out there

0:40:52.000 --> 0:40:54.520
<v Speaker 2>with me and paralyzed and couldn't walk, and I was

0:40:54.560 --> 0:40:56.600
<v Speaker 2>having to help him, and he was up in the

0:40:56.680 --> 0:40:58.520
<v Speaker 2>night and he didn't have control of his bowels, and

0:40:58.560 --> 0:41:02.520
<v Speaker 2>it was it was such like it was just a

0:41:02.680 --> 0:41:05.960
<v Speaker 2>real dark low where it was. I just felt like

0:41:06.800 --> 0:41:11.440
<v Speaker 2>everything was kind of slipping away. And yeah, I'm sleeping

0:41:11.440 --> 0:41:13.960
<v Speaker 2>on this like pull out couch in my guesthouse. And

0:41:14.040 --> 0:41:19.080
<v Speaker 2>then there's just a lot of emotional pain, and I've

0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:23.360
<v Speaker 2>got a lot of frustration and confusion and fear and.

0:41:24.800 --> 0:41:26.640
<v Speaker 1>All those things are so hard to sit with.

0:41:26.920 --> 0:41:32.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah alone, yeah in your mind, Like you know, there's

0:41:32.080 --> 0:41:34.520
<v Speaker 2>physical pain and then there's mental pain, emotional pain, and

0:41:34.560 --> 0:41:36.839
<v Speaker 2>I think in many many ways, I've had a lot

0:41:36.880 --> 0:41:40.960
<v Speaker 2>of really intense physical pain and it's it's very scary,

0:41:41.080 --> 0:41:44.120
<v Speaker 2>very hard, but I don't think it compares to like

0:41:44.160 --> 0:41:45.799
<v Speaker 2>emotional mental pain, and.

0:41:45.760 --> 0:41:48.160
<v Speaker 1>We don't think we're strong enough to get through it.

0:41:48.320 --> 0:41:50.839
<v Speaker 1>Like I think probably that's the biggest fear, is like

0:41:51.480 --> 0:41:53.359
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how I can get through this, like

0:41:54.520 --> 0:41:58.400
<v Speaker 1>I need some help. And then maybe that's when you

0:41:58.440 --> 0:42:02.959
<v Speaker 1>turn to remembering what you've learned.

0:42:02.680 --> 0:42:06.400
<v Speaker 2>Or yeah, it has that's exactly right, like it's I

0:42:06.400 --> 0:42:09.000
<v Speaker 2>would notice that in that time, in that stretch, you know,

0:42:09.080 --> 0:42:11.400
<v Speaker 2>I was going to you know, talk therapy and it

0:42:11.440 --> 0:42:15.040
<v Speaker 2>was very helpful. But then also my classes and my

0:42:15.080 --> 0:42:17.680
<v Speaker 2>studies and my meditation and even something as simple as

0:42:17.719 --> 0:42:20.600
<v Speaker 2>just like counting mantras or something in the in the center,

0:42:21.680 --> 0:42:24.400
<v Speaker 2>and the way that I felt after a class or

0:42:24.440 --> 0:42:27.920
<v Speaker 2>after a study or a meditation session, it was as

0:42:27.960 --> 0:42:30.440
<v Speaker 2>if all of the conditions of my life, the challenging

0:42:30.440 --> 0:42:33.439
<v Speaker 2>conditions of my life, they felt different. I had more

0:42:33.440 --> 0:42:38.640
<v Speaker 2>compassion and love, I had more patience and acceptance and understanding.

0:42:39.280 --> 0:42:44.480
<v Speaker 2>I like the world looked brighter. And then slowly you

0:42:44.560 --> 0:42:47.000
<v Speaker 2>lose that perspective in life, and an argument and things

0:42:47.000 --> 0:42:49.200
<v Speaker 2>at that, and then you got to get back and

0:42:49.280 --> 0:42:52.360
<v Speaker 2>I just knew that that became like the real indication

0:42:52.560 --> 0:42:55.040
<v Speaker 2>that you know, I need this in my life, and

0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:59.040
<v Speaker 2>this is it was the most incredible, like night and day.

0:43:00.040 --> 0:43:02.319
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I felt like in our couple's therapy at that time,

0:43:02.360 --> 0:43:05.480
<v Speaker 2>before things were worked out, that it made it worse,

0:43:05.880 --> 0:43:08.000
<v Speaker 2>Like you're talking about the problem and you're dwelling on

0:43:08.040 --> 0:43:13.320
<v Speaker 2>the problem and sometimes can be more like problem oriented

0:43:13.320 --> 0:43:17.440
<v Speaker 2>and not solution oriented. I'm not saying all time, and

0:43:17.480 --> 0:43:19.839
<v Speaker 2>you're coming out and you're actually more worked up and

0:43:19.880 --> 0:43:22.399
<v Speaker 2>agitated and feel worse off than when you went in.

0:43:22.840 --> 0:43:25.000
<v Speaker 1>The same thing happened to David and I because we

0:43:25.080 --> 0:43:30.000
<v Speaker 1>went through a big breakup for a year and we

0:43:30.040 --> 0:43:35.160
<v Speaker 1>tried couple therapy. We both hated it. It made us further,

0:43:35.239 --> 0:43:36.360
<v Speaker 1>it took us further apart.

0:43:36.960 --> 0:43:40.600
<v Speaker 2>Isn't that crazy? Like it's not crazy, because I think

0:43:41.680 --> 0:43:46.440
<v Speaker 2>there's actually books written about how if it's not, I

0:43:46.480 --> 0:43:48.359
<v Speaker 2>don't really know because I haven't read all of them.

0:43:48.360 --> 0:43:52.080
<v Speaker 2>But essentially, the essence from what I understand is dwelling

0:43:52.560 --> 0:43:56.120
<v Speaker 2>and sort of sitting in the problem and going back

0:43:56.160 --> 0:43:59.000
<v Speaker 2>and forth, you know, and the problem said she said, right,

0:43:59.080 --> 0:44:02.560
<v Speaker 2>it can just spiral it up and you're you're almost

0:44:02.600 --> 0:44:06.480
<v Speaker 2>like exaggerating the bad qualities and you're just kind of

0:44:06.560 --> 0:44:11.359
<v Speaker 2>like reliving it and retriggering it versus really being more

0:44:11.440 --> 0:44:14.319
<v Speaker 2>kind of on a solution oriented or or you know,

0:44:14.360 --> 0:44:19.800
<v Speaker 2>there's other strategies, but for me, that was my experience.

0:44:20.200 --> 0:44:23.799
<v Speaker 1>I think for me, it came down to forgiveness that

0:44:24.080 --> 0:44:26.359
<v Speaker 1>it was very hard to get there. Yeah, like that

0:44:26.440 --> 0:44:29.000
<v Speaker 1>took a lot of digging. Good for you, but forgiveness

0:44:29.040 --> 0:44:32.759
<v Speaker 1>of the other person's actions or what desires or whatever

0:44:33.000 --> 0:44:38.280
<v Speaker 1>caused it. And then the forgiveness to myself for myself

0:44:39.320 --> 0:44:43.840
<v Speaker 1>for whether I didn't take the best care of myself

0:44:43.880 --> 0:44:46.880
<v Speaker 1>through it, I wasn't the best mom through it, really

0:44:47.960 --> 0:44:50.479
<v Speaker 1>saying like you just went through something really really rough

0:44:50.520 --> 0:44:52.839
<v Speaker 1>and you need to continue to love yourself through it.

0:44:53.040 --> 0:44:55.000
<v Speaker 1>And that's one of the things too with like, I

0:44:55.040 --> 0:44:57.800
<v Speaker 1>talk a lot to everyone about choosing themselves and the

0:44:57.840 --> 0:45:03.120
<v Speaker 1>importance of saying I choose me. And there are times

0:45:03.200 --> 0:45:06.399
<v Speaker 1>when I'll go to a class, budd a class and

0:45:06.880 --> 0:45:10.120
<v Speaker 1>the focus is so not on the me.

0:45:11.600 --> 0:45:13.520
<v Speaker 2>So how do you please tell me about this? Because

0:45:13.560 --> 0:45:15.400
<v Speaker 2>this is really interesting. This is where people get a

0:45:15.400 --> 0:45:18.120
<v Speaker 2>lot of the wrong idea about.

0:45:18.400 --> 0:45:21.040
<v Speaker 1>So I get I get twisted in my own mind

0:45:21.080 --> 0:45:24.960
<v Speaker 1>and think, oh, no is choosing myself or is allowing

0:45:25.000 --> 0:45:27.719
<v Speaker 1>myself to know that it's okay to choose myself. Is

0:45:27.760 --> 0:45:34.160
<v Speaker 1>that being selfish? Because it's really and I asked one

0:45:34.200 --> 0:45:36.839
<v Speaker 1>of the teachers in the Pasadena class on it's about, like,

0:45:37.320 --> 0:45:40.560
<v Speaker 1>how do you know, how do you explain that to me?

0:45:41.000 --> 0:45:43.279
<v Speaker 1>If I'm choosing myself and my selfish or am I

0:45:43.320 --> 0:45:45.920
<v Speaker 1>always supposed to be putting others first and their happiness

0:45:46.000 --> 0:45:49.520
<v Speaker 1>before my own? Right, which, yes, that does help you,

0:45:49.600 --> 0:45:52.080
<v Speaker 1>that makes you feel better. But at the same time,

0:45:52.200 --> 0:45:55.040
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of all the same message, like it's all

0:45:55.080 --> 0:45:59.279
<v Speaker 1>about when you do choose to take care of yourself

0:46:00.120 --> 0:46:04.200
<v Speaker 1>more available and helpful and useful to.

0:46:04.200 --> 0:46:09.399
<v Speaker 2>Others, like getting like good sleep and doing like good

0:46:09.560 --> 0:46:11.759
<v Speaker 2>feel good things that are your sort of green light

0:46:11.800 --> 0:46:13.920
<v Speaker 2>behaviors that you love to go down and playing golf

0:46:14.000 --> 0:46:18.800
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, like doing things that nurture you. But then also,

0:46:19.600 --> 0:46:22.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, in Buddhism we hear, like in society, we

0:46:22.160 --> 0:46:25.520
<v Speaker 2>hear a lot about self love. I choose me self

0:46:25.560 --> 0:46:30.480
<v Speaker 2>love and a really cool description of sort of the

0:46:30.520 --> 0:46:34.480
<v Speaker 2>Buddhist philosophy on self love is so love like I

0:46:34.520 --> 0:46:38.080
<v Speaker 2>talked about in a Buddhist perspective or Eastern philosophy perspective,

0:46:38.280 --> 0:46:42.240
<v Speaker 2>is is a deep wish for others to be happy

0:46:42.320 --> 0:46:44.919
<v Speaker 2>and cherishing others and caring. But that that's like pure love,

0:46:45.040 --> 0:46:49.680
<v Speaker 2>like without that sort of selfish intention, So self love

0:46:51.400 --> 0:46:54.320
<v Speaker 2>like you know, wishing so love would be wishing others

0:46:54.400 --> 0:46:57.839
<v Speaker 2>to have pure happiness, like lasting peace and happiness. So

0:46:57.960 --> 0:47:02.120
<v Speaker 2>self love would be wishing that for yourself to find peace,

0:47:02.280 --> 0:47:06.920
<v Speaker 2>like real deep peace and lasting happiness. That would be

0:47:07.000 --> 0:47:11.440
<v Speaker 2>considered self love from a Buddhist perspective. And the best

0:47:11.480 --> 0:47:15.080
<v Speaker 2>way to do that is to you know, like meditate

0:47:15.080 --> 0:47:17.560
<v Speaker 2>on virtue and to train in patience and love and

0:47:17.600 --> 0:47:21.680
<v Speaker 2>wisdom and compassion. And that's that's like basically how like

0:47:21.760 --> 0:47:24.880
<v Speaker 2>that self love of healing your heart and your mind

0:47:25.680 --> 0:47:28.319
<v Speaker 2>at the same time taking care of yourself and like

0:47:29.080 --> 0:47:31.879
<v Speaker 2>you know, eating well and sleeping well and drinking lots

0:47:31.920 --> 0:47:35.000
<v Speaker 2>of water and going for walks and saying no like

0:47:35.200 --> 0:47:38.360
<v Speaker 2>these are all minds, like you know, wishing others to

0:47:38.400 --> 0:47:42.000
<v Speaker 2>be happy and caring about others. It doesn't in fact,

0:47:42.239 --> 0:47:44.279
<v Speaker 2>very little of it is physical action. It can be

0:47:44.360 --> 0:47:46.719
<v Speaker 2>verbal because of verbal but so much of it is

0:47:46.920 --> 0:47:48.560
<v Speaker 2>just a shift of the mind, like you know, may

0:47:48.560 --> 0:47:51.320
<v Speaker 2>you be happy, may you experience beautiful conditions. May you,

0:47:51.320 --> 0:47:52.839
<v Speaker 2>you know, find peace in your life. May you find

0:47:52.840 --> 0:47:55.080
<v Speaker 2>a new home after the fire, is just like it's

0:47:55.200 --> 0:47:57.200
<v Speaker 2>just a mind, it's just a shift of the mind.

0:47:57.320 --> 0:47:59.400
<v Speaker 1>One of the biggest things for me was the teaching

0:47:59.440 --> 0:48:03.359
<v Speaker 1>that looking at someone and being angry at someone. You've

0:48:03.360 --> 0:48:05.160
<v Speaker 1>talked about it before in the class you taught me about,

0:48:05.200 --> 0:48:07.080
<v Speaker 1>like when you're driving and someone cuts you off and

0:48:07.120 --> 0:48:08.920
<v Speaker 1>you get angry and you look at the guy and

0:48:08.960 --> 0:48:15.680
<v Speaker 1>you're like, you know, hey, asshole. But being able to

0:48:15.719 --> 0:48:21.360
<v Speaker 1>look at others as if with the knowing that all

0:48:21.400 --> 0:48:23.960
<v Speaker 1>they want is to be free from suffering and pain

0:48:24.719 --> 0:48:28.600
<v Speaker 1>in their own lives. So when you think about someone

0:48:28.680 --> 0:48:31.920
<v Speaker 1>and you look at someone, even a stranger, if you

0:48:32.160 --> 0:48:36.920
<v Speaker 1>put that thought first, it just changes how you see people.

0:48:37.880 --> 0:48:40.200
<v Speaker 1>Like it's such a it's like a like a leveling

0:48:40.239 --> 0:48:43.120
<v Speaker 1>of humanity. Yeah, the goosies.

0:48:43.960 --> 0:48:46.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's so beautiful and it's so true. You would

0:48:46.719 --> 0:48:50.239
<v Speaker 2>change the world. It would literally change everybody's relationship, and

0:48:50.280 --> 0:48:52.680
<v Speaker 2>it changes our mind and it changes our relationship with

0:48:52.719 --> 0:48:56.400
<v Speaker 2>the situation. It completely changes the person in the supermarket

0:48:56.400 --> 0:48:58.160
<v Speaker 2>that cuts you off, or on the street or whatever,

0:48:59.640 --> 0:49:01.799
<v Speaker 2>when you know you just think they're just trying to

0:49:01.800 --> 0:49:03.880
<v Speaker 2>be happy. They're trying to be free from pain and suffering.

0:49:03.920 --> 0:49:05.480
<v Speaker 2>They're trying to get home to their kids. Maybe they

0:49:05.480 --> 0:49:07.520
<v Speaker 2>worked in All Night Show. They just want to be

0:49:07.880 --> 0:49:11.799
<v Speaker 2>just like me. Their wish for that happiness and to

0:49:11.840 --> 0:49:14.160
<v Speaker 2>have peace in their life and joy and freedom from

0:49:14.160 --> 0:49:18.520
<v Speaker 2>pain and all that feels to them exactly the way

0:49:18.600 --> 0:49:21.000
<v Speaker 2>mine does feel to me. And we're the same. And

0:49:21.080 --> 0:49:21.840
<v Speaker 2>may you be happy.

0:49:22.920 --> 0:49:26.799
<v Speaker 1>Happy to be happy. It's the greatest thing. I could

0:49:26.840 --> 0:49:30.319
<v Speaker 1>talk about it for forever. You did good by introducing

0:49:30.320 --> 0:49:33.239
<v Speaker 1>me to it. So that's why I really do have

0:49:33.360 --> 0:49:42.120
<v Speaker 1>a place in my heart for you. I do want

0:49:42.160 --> 0:49:48.359
<v Speaker 1>to just talk about this in you redefining what is

0:49:49.680 --> 0:49:52.600
<v Speaker 1>next for Camera Matheson, Like what do you want? The

0:49:52.640 --> 0:49:56.719
<v Speaker 1>world is your oyster. You've decided to focus on providing

0:49:57.160 --> 0:50:02.000
<v Speaker 1>functional health coaching for other people, which is right on

0:50:02.120 --> 0:50:02.640
<v Speaker 1>brand for you.

0:50:02.880 --> 0:50:05.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you good. I'm glad

0:50:05.080 --> 0:50:09.239
<v Speaker 2>because it just it's just me. It's as I sort

0:50:09.239 --> 0:50:11.840
<v Speaker 2>of alluded to earlier, like it changed the whole way

0:50:11.920 --> 0:50:16.200
<v Speaker 2>that I come at health and longevity and fitness and

0:50:16.280 --> 0:50:19.600
<v Speaker 2>training and happiness. Like it's an amazing.

0:50:20.680 --> 0:50:22.839
<v Speaker 1>People look at you and they think I want what

0:50:22.880 --> 0:50:24.799
<v Speaker 1>he has, Like I want to be able to live

0:50:25.200 --> 0:50:28.000
<v Speaker 1>a healthy life like he has and overcome my own adversities.

0:50:28.360 --> 0:50:30.440
<v Speaker 1>But now it's as if you're taking all of that

0:50:30.520 --> 0:50:33.920
<v Speaker 1>hardship that you endured and helping others with it.

0:50:34.080 --> 0:50:36.480
<v Speaker 2>That as honestly my goal. This is a passion project.

0:50:36.560 --> 0:50:38.560
<v Speaker 2>This is something that I know from my own experience

0:50:38.680 --> 0:50:41.560
<v Speaker 2>change like so a functional health coach. So we all

0:50:41.560 --> 0:50:43.799
<v Speaker 2>know what functional health like, a functional medicine doctor, but

0:50:43.880 --> 0:50:46.160
<v Speaker 2>it's it's so much more than that.

0:50:46.960 --> 0:50:50.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna stop. What is a functional health doctor compared

0:50:50.840 --> 0:50:52.320
<v Speaker 1>to just a regular old doctor.

0:50:52.920 --> 0:50:56.400
<v Speaker 2>So generally, a functional health doctor, from my best understanding,

0:50:56.520 --> 0:51:00.439
<v Speaker 2>is somebody that treats more the root cause of things

0:51:00.719 --> 0:51:03.600
<v Speaker 2>so versus you know, I think in a lot of cases,

0:51:03.640 --> 0:51:07.680
<v Speaker 2>western medicine treats symptoms. It's more like sick health excuse me,

0:51:07.800 --> 0:51:12.040
<v Speaker 2>sick treatment versus health treatment. And a functional doctor will

0:51:12.080 --> 0:51:16.320
<v Speaker 2>try to look at the root causes and very helpful.

0:51:17.800 --> 0:51:20.560
<v Speaker 2>But oftentimes you can go to a functional medicine doctor

0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:22.680
<v Speaker 2>and they give you some supplements and they give you

0:51:22.719 --> 0:51:24.880
<v Speaker 2>some protocols and things, and then you're on your way

0:51:25.719 --> 0:51:28.080
<v Speaker 2>and there's no follow up and there's nobody there to

0:51:28.080 --> 0:51:30.400
<v Speaker 2>hold your hand or answer your question. So a functional

0:51:30.400 --> 0:51:35.280
<v Speaker 2>health coach takes the essence of functional medicine looking trying

0:51:35.320 --> 0:51:38.720
<v Speaker 2>to heal your body and its root causes of things.

0:51:38.760 --> 0:51:42.080
<v Speaker 2>Like you know, for instance, I had acid reflux for

0:51:42.200 --> 0:51:45.520
<v Speaker 2>ten years. I was given an acid reflux acid reflux

0:51:45.560 --> 0:51:50.000
<v Speaker 2>medication from a doctor that is directly correlated with kidney cancer,

0:51:50.120 --> 0:51:52.799
<v Speaker 2>the exact type of cancer I had. It caused the

0:51:52.880 --> 0:51:57.680
<v Speaker 2>digestion and my gut acid production to shut down, ruin

0:51:57.760 --> 0:52:00.640
<v Speaker 2>my digestion, which was the cause of my microbiome imbalance

0:52:00.760 --> 0:52:03.880
<v Speaker 2>all of that. So they're treating a symptom, but the

0:52:04.000 --> 0:52:08.000
<v Speaker 2>root cause often gets worse, whereas functional medicine will try

0:52:08.000 --> 0:52:09.640
<v Speaker 2>to get to the root props. Why is your at

0:52:09.680 --> 0:52:11.359
<v Speaker 2>why is you Why do you have acid reflux? What's

0:52:11.400 --> 0:52:13.319
<v Speaker 2>going on? Is it because you have too little acid? No,

0:52:13.920 --> 0:52:15.799
<v Speaker 2>it's it's excuse me if it's because you have too

0:52:15.840 --> 0:52:18.160
<v Speaker 2>much acid. No, it's because you have too little acid.

0:52:18.600 --> 0:52:22.160
<v Speaker 2>So I shifted and I started taking each cl with

0:52:22.280 --> 0:52:26.600
<v Speaker 2>my meals, lemon water, some some sauerkrat which is fermented vegetables,

0:52:26.960 --> 0:52:30.360
<v Speaker 2>as well as ginger tea, and in three days, after

0:52:30.400 --> 0:52:34.160
<v Speaker 2>twelve years of being on medication. In three days with

0:52:34.360 --> 0:52:38.320
<v Speaker 2>just lifestyle and diet changes, my acid reflux was gone.

0:52:38.719 --> 0:52:41.120
<v Speaker 2>So like, so that's sort of more of the functional

0:52:41.560 --> 0:52:47.560
<v Speaker 2>approach using natural foods and lifestyle supplements. Maybe peptides. We

0:52:47.600 --> 0:52:52.160
<v Speaker 2>have a peptide department, Hormone replacement therapy division like AVITE,

0:52:52.160 --> 0:52:56.440
<v Speaker 2>like a medical division testing like elaborate hormone and gut

0:52:56.520 --> 0:52:59.040
<v Speaker 2>and blood work testing, because there's a lot of things

0:52:59.040 --> 0:53:01.760
<v Speaker 2>that you can learn from that testing that you wouldn't

0:53:01.800 --> 0:53:04.279
<v Speaker 2>get just from like going to a trainer or going

0:53:04.320 --> 0:53:06.560
<v Speaker 2>to like a functional medicine doctor or whatever. And this

0:53:06.760 --> 0:53:09.160
<v Speaker 2>and the coaching is where you check in weekly and

0:53:09.200 --> 0:53:12.360
<v Speaker 2>you send progress photos and you you put online like

0:53:12.400 --> 0:53:14.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, how much water you're drinking, how's your sleep,

0:53:14.239 --> 0:53:16.600
<v Speaker 2>how many steps are you getting? What are you struggling with? What?

0:53:16.960 --> 0:53:18.719
<v Speaker 2>You have a partner, You have a partner in it

0:53:18.760 --> 0:53:21.759
<v Speaker 2>their head. It's just it literally you have somebody that's

0:53:21.800 --> 0:53:25.560
<v Speaker 2>you're accountable to, and it inspires you to, Yeah, just

0:53:25.600 --> 0:53:27.120
<v Speaker 2>keep your track and of course you're gonna fall off

0:53:27.120 --> 0:53:29.080
<v Speaker 2>and do things. And you know, I had my birthday

0:53:29.120 --> 0:53:31.840
<v Speaker 2>the other day and I was like whatever I wanted

0:53:31.840 --> 0:53:33.279
<v Speaker 2>to eat and it was great. And then you just

0:53:33.280 --> 0:53:34.440
<v Speaker 2>get back on track and you just do.

0:53:34.520 --> 0:53:36.440
<v Speaker 1>Wait. I was going to have a cupcake for you today,

0:53:36.560 --> 0:53:38.919
<v Speaker 1>Oh you were, but then I thought no, I would

0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:40.400
<v Speaker 1>get him a carrot, because he's.

0:53:40.239 --> 0:53:41.920
<v Speaker 2>Not going to eat just a carrot, some celery and

0:53:41.960 --> 0:53:43.160
<v Speaker 2>some homicies, would it.

0:53:43.280 --> 0:53:44.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, of course did.

0:53:44.160 --> 0:53:47.799
<v Speaker 2>I certainly had my my first shir yesterday. But but anyway, Yeah,

0:53:47.840 --> 0:53:50.080
<v Speaker 2>So that's so I started Health three sixty. It's it's

0:53:50.120 --> 0:53:53.640
<v Speaker 2>a new passion project. It's my so I joined forces

0:53:53.640 --> 0:53:56.879
<v Speaker 2>with Vital Coaching, which Vince Pittstick and Vital and we've

0:53:56.880 --> 0:53:59.160
<v Speaker 2>got a new division called Health three sixty, which I'm

0:53:59.239 --> 0:54:02.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, the face of and spreading the word and

0:54:02.080 --> 0:54:05.640
<v Speaker 2>telling my story. And this is literally only because I

0:54:05.760 --> 0:54:09.400
<v Speaker 2>see how many people get it wrong. They try so hard,

0:54:10.000 --> 0:54:12.400
<v Speaker 2>and you know, oftentimes what used to work when we

0:54:12.440 --> 0:54:14.480
<v Speaker 2>are younger stops working. And it can be for a

0:54:14.920 --> 0:54:19.160
<v Speaker 2>like a million different reasons. You know, hormones, gut health, inflammation, cortisol,

0:54:19.200 --> 0:54:23.040
<v Speaker 2>blood sugar, you know, you know, parasites, mold explode you.

0:54:23.200 --> 0:54:25.520
<v Speaker 2>And medicine doesn't take care of that. They'll just give

0:54:25.560 --> 0:54:28.640
<v Speaker 2>you like a pill where they'll train harder, cut more calories.

0:54:29.040 --> 0:54:32.080
<v Speaker 2>That's just like it's not the answer. Sometimes it works

0:54:32.080 --> 0:54:34.480
<v Speaker 2>for a little while, but ultimately it doesn't.

0:54:34.760 --> 0:54:38.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it seems like so big and complicated to even

0:54:38.520 --> 0:54:43.160
<v Speaker 1>like say, redirect your gut health. Yeah, you know, yeah,

0:54:43.160 --> 0:54:45.760
<v Speaker 1>of course like that, I don't even know where to begin.

0:54:46.040 --> 0:54:48.319
<v Speaker 2>So that's that's a great example. I know, we don't

0:54:48.360 --> 0:54:49.560
<v Speaker 2>have tons of time to get in. I don't want

0:54:49.560 --> 0:54:53.879
<v Speaker 2>to like board people like, but re kind of balancing

0:54:53.920 --> 0:55:00.520
<v Speaker 2>your gut microbiome is unbelievably tricky. Like you really need

0:55:00.560 --> 0:55:05.480
<v Speaker 2>to have a protocol that is very, very elaborate and works,

0:55:05.560 --> 0:55:08.440
<v Speaker 2>because taking a little bit of probiotics and cutting carbs

0:55:09.400 --> 0:55:13.240
<v Speaker 2>isn't doing anything to balance your gut microbiome. You're starving

0:55:13.239 --> 0:55:16.760
<v Speaker 2>that bad bacteria, but they're just in hibernation. They're gonna

0:55:16.760 --> 0:55:18.480
<v Speaker 2>come out the next time you have a cookie or

0:55:18.520 --> 0:55:20.799
<v Speaker 2>a plate apasta or a piece of bread, and they're

0:55:20.800 --> 0:55:23.279
<v Speaker 2>gonna go nuts and you're gonna be distended and in pain,

0:55:23.320 --> 0:55:25.200
<v Speaker 2>and you'll be like, I've been so good, what happened?

0:55:25.520 --> 0:55:26.440
<v Speaker 2>Because you haven't done.

0:55:26.280 --> 0:55:30.880
<v Speaker 1>Anything so suffer from that. Fiona and Lola both have

0:55:31.040 --> 0:55:33.719
<v Speaker 1>just chronic pain a tummy problem.

0:55:33.719 --> 0:55:36.279
<v Speaker 2>When they eat certain foods. So food sensitivies or like that,

0:55:36.440 --> 0:55:40.360
<v Speaker 2>that bacteria can be very specific to certain food and

0:55:40.480 --> 0:55:44.520
<v Speaker 2>I know firsthand it was unbelievably annoying. But Health three

0:55:44.640 --> 0:55:47.200
<v Speaker 2>sixty and the coaches that we've had and that have

0:55:47.280 --> 0:55:49.600
<v Speaker 2>been working for a long time with Vital and now

0:55:49.640 --> 0:55:55.040
<v Speaker 2>with Health three sixty, have a protocol that I mean,

0:55:55.360 --> 0:55:57.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you, I tried for two decades to try

0:55:57.640 --> 0:56:01.400
<v Speaker 2>to heal my gut. In six months, I did like

0:56:01.440 --> 0:56:05.000
<v Speaker 2>another gut test. It's almost like it looks like a

0:56:05.040 --> 0:56:05.640
<v Speaker 2>different human.

0:56:06.000 --> 0:56:08.160
<v Speaker 1>This is exciting. I'm going to be texting you all

0:56:08.160 --> 0:56:11.040
<v Speaker 1>the time. Wait, we did two Christmas movies.

0:56:11.360 --> 0:56:13.800
<v Speaker 3>Mister Christmas, we did two together.

0:56:14.160 --> 0:56:16.399
<v Speaker 1>I thought those were your only two you did.

0:56:16.760 --> 0:56:18.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've done a couple more.

0:56:18.719 --> 0:56:19.359
<v Speaker 1>How many more?

0:56:23.400 --> 0:56:28.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean, not all Christmas Christmas, probably like probably eight

0:56:28.200 --> 0:56:29.160
<v Speaker 2>more or.

0:56:29.080 --> 0:56:33.040
<v Speaker 1>No nine, maybe because i've seen you.

0:56:33.400 --> 0:56:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've done I've done a bunch more. But yeah,

0:56:36.800 --> 0:56:38.759
<v Speaker 2>I've done a few through these, thank goodness. Yeah, they've

0:56:38.760 --> 0:56:40.880
<v Speaker 2>been great to me. Have great American families, which is

0:56:40.920 --> 0:56:45.319
<v Speaker 2>where kind Heart of Christmas was. I got one coming

0:56:45.320 --> 0:56:48.200
<v Speaker 2>out this Christmas with Cannabis with Candice Cameron Maurray. I

0:56:48.320 --> 0:56:50.640
<v Speaker 2>know it's a really sweet one. I know it's gonna

0:56:50.640 --> 0:56:52.560
<v Speaker 2>have a theatrical release for the first time in Great

0:56:52.600 --> 0:56:54.280
<v Speaker 2>American Families history.

0:56:54.320 --> 0:56:59.640
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, okay, I also just have to always ask, yeah,

0:57:00.120 --> 0:57:05.280
<v Speaker 1>guess Cameron matheson, what was your last I Choose Me moment?

0:57:07.680 --> 0:57:12.440
<v Speaker 2>My last I Choose Me moment was when I went

0:57:12.520 --> 0:57:16.360
<v Speaker 2>to London to help my son kind of move stuff

0:57:16.360 --> 0:57:19.520
<v Speaker 2>from storage into his college apartment flat. And then I

0:57:19.960 --> 0:57:24.000
<v Speaker 2>added on about six or seven days and I got

0:57:24.040 --> 0:57:26.640
<v Speaker 2>a rental car and I drove north into the Lake

0:57:26.760 --> 0:57:30.640
<v Speaker 2>District in northern UK by myself on the wrong side

0:57:30.640 --> 0:57:31.920
<v Speaker 2>of the car, on the wrong side of the street,

0:57:32.720 --> 0:57:36.120
<v Speaker 2>other side, and I did a like a six day

0:57:36.640 --> 0:57:41.280
<v Speaker 2>series of teachings and meditation retreat and rented a little

0:57:41.320 --> 0:57:44.880
<v Speaker 2>airbnb and was in nature and and it was very

0:57:44.920 --> 0:57:49.360
<v Speaker 2>healing and and just sort of filled my soul up.

0:57:49.360 --> 0:57:54.640
<v Speaker 2>And that was a great gift to myself. Yeah, it

0:57:54.680 --> 0:57:58.160
<v Speaker 2>was really it was a really good I Choose Me because,

0:57:58.400 --> 0:58:01.960
<v Speaker 2>like we talked about, it was very healing for me,

0:58:02.280 --> 0:58:05.480
<v Speaker 2>but in doing so, like I'm so much more of

0:58:05.520 --> 0:58:09.240
<v Speaker 2>a benefit to others and can be just like you

0:58:09.320 --> 0:58:12.560
<v Speaker 2>sort of filled the tank of patience and kindness and

0:58:12.600 --> 0:58:15.400
<v Speaker 2>respect and you know, got all these beautiful teachings that

0:58:15.480 --> 0:58:17.400
<v Speaker 2>like I just want to like sort of embody in

0:58:17.440 --> 0:58:20.400
<v Speaker 2>the world, and then at the same time just felt

0:58:20.400 --> 0:58:22.800
<v Speaker 2>so good myself, so that felt like it was a

0:58:22.840 --> 0:58:27.240
<v Speaker 2>real gift. I love no thanks, I love you too.